The folly of Asian guys who blame their race

[Zdrav]

It's awfully tempting for Asian guys to start blaming their race for whatever troubles they have in life, particularly in dating. But when you think carefully, in order for that idea to be true, then it must be assumed that if these Asian guys were of any other race, they would be successful. Would that be the case? Is every White, Black, or Latino guy out there as successful as he should be? Going even further, is every attractive White, Black, or Latino guy out there as successful as he should be?

Looking at all the confusion, anger, and heartbreak in the dating world, the answer is a clear no. There are tonnes of lonely and frustrated people out there, and not all of them are anti-social and ugly. However, these people have not been indoctrinated that their race is to blame. They may find other scapegoats, such as money (or lack thereof), body build, etc., but they usually won't pick on their race.

It's extremely tempting to blame race because it automatically ennobles the complainers while simultaneously demonizing the accused. In place of soul-searching confusion, you can have righteous indignation that can even pass off as a civil rights revolution in some extreme internet forums. Blaming race is a glaringly easy option to take in the uncertain and often painful world of emotions. It's the ultimate sour grapes attitude.

So, my brothers, always resist the temptation to ever blame your race. Realize that in doing so, you're essentially claiming that you yourself are flawless (or at least possess very few flaws) and everybody else is ignorant and hateful. If there's a more childish and egotistic rationale, I haven't found it. Be cognizant of the FACT that there are a ton of frustrated and lonely guys of all races around the world, and everybody has problems, but they don't have a self-righteous excuse for their not getting any.

[LaiSteve66]

Wrong forum, go to modelminority.com and tell them that.

[Zdrav]

I've actually tried joining their forum, but I can't for some reason.

[Chooky]

Originally Posted by Zdrav

It's awfully tempting for Asian guys to start blaming their race for whatever troubles they have in life, particularly in dating. But when you think carefully, in order for that idea to be true, then it must be assumed that if these Asian guys were of any other race, they would be successful. Would that be the case? Is every White, Black, or Latino guy out there as successful as he should be? Going even further, is every attractive White, Black, or Latino guy out there as successful as he should be?

Looking at all the confusion, anger, and heartbreak in the dating world, the answer is a clear no. There are tonnes of lonely and frustrated people out there, and not all of them are anti-social and ugly. However, these people have not been indoctrinated that their race is to blame. They may find other scapegoats, such as money (or lack thereof), body build, etc., but they usually won't pick on their race.

It's extremely tempting to blame race because it automatically ennobles the complainers while simultaneously demonizing the accused. In place of soul-searching confusion, you can have righteous indignation that can even pass off as a civil rights revolution in some extreme internet forums. Blaming race is a glaringly easy option to take in the uncertain and often painful world of emotions. It's the ultimate sour grapes attitude.

So, my brothers, always resist the temptation to ever blame your race. Realize that in doing so, you're essentially claiming that you yourself are flawless (or at least possess very few flaws) and everybody else is ignorant and hateful. If there's a more childish and egotistic rationale, I haven't found it. Be cognizant of the FACT that there are a ton of frustrated and lonely guys of all races around the world, and everybody has problems, but they don't have a self-righteous excuse for their not getting any.

I don't think I've seen any examples of this happening on this site.

[Zdrav]

I'm not saying anybody here is, but as Asian guys, I'm sure that there have been moments where we have questioned how big a role our race plays in our interactions with people.

[Chooky]

Originally Posted by Zdrav

I'm not saying anybody here is, but as Asian guys, I'm sure that there have been moments where we have questioned how big a role our race plays in our interactions with people.

I agree with you. It seems as though too many Asians think that blaming their own race is a form of activism.

[tripostrophe]

You must be white. Race plays a huge role in the lives of all People of Color in a society where race is still a major factor. I don't really care what you have to say; the underlying philosophy of colorblindness and equal opportunity disgusts me. Also, making the victims into weak fucks who "pull the race card" every chance they get. I think we all know better than to attribute everything to race -- you might want to tell people just coming into their identity as minorities in America, but you obviously need some more education before you can do that.

[Chooky]

Originally Posted by tripostrophe

You must be white. Race plays a huge role in the lives of all People of Color in a society where race is still a major factor. I don't really care what you have to say; the underlying philosophy of colorblindness and equal opportunity disgusts me. Also, making the victims into weak fucks who "pull the race card" every chance they get. I think we all know better than to attribute everything to race -- you might want to tell people just coming into their identity as minorities in America, but you obviously need some more education before you can do that.

Are you talking to me???
If you are then you missed the point of my comment. I was saying that BLAMING other Asians for one's bad experiences is a counter-productive and a negative approach. I actually believe that for most (if not all) Asians in the West their race is possibly the most defining aspect in their experience.
Having re-read the first post I see that I may have mis-interpreted the comments to have meant blaming one's own race as in "Asian women this, Asian parents ...." blah blah blah. My bad - where I am it was still very early in the morning when I first read it.
No offence.

[Dimeron]

While I agree that majority of the challenges and problems we face are not race related, to think that race has nothing to do with aspect of our life, such as job, education, social interaction, and of course dating, is just plain delusional.

And one shouldn't blame one's race, one should blame the idiots that pre-judge me because of the race. I once met this lady in an elevator, who, because of my non-verbal replies to her questions, assumed I must be a Chinese international student who can't speak English. The real reason is because i have a sour throat that day and talking hurts.

When I finally got fed up and replied, she was like "Wow, your English is very good, no accent".

[monkeygone2]

Originally Posted by Zdrav

It's awfully tempting for Asian guys to start blaming their race for whatever troubles they have in life, particularly in dating....

So, my brothers, always resist the temptation to ever blame your race. Realize that in doing so, you're essentially claiming that you yourself are flawless.....

Be cognizant of the FACT that there are a ton of frustrated and lonely guys of all races around the world, and everybody has problems, but they don't have a self-righteous excuse for their not getting any.

african american.. latino... jewish people.... ALL american minorities have issues within their 'community' w/ dating & marrying out.

there ARE loud asian american kids who aren't intersted in learing from others or debating; they're content in dropping the 'sell-out' bomb and that's it. these kids aren't the majority of the asian american male population.

[Yeahman]

I blame Asian girls for all my problems. When 50% of them are going for white guys, what's an Asian guy supposed to do?

If a white guy and a Asian guy have the same pick-up skills, the white guy will probably get more girls because of the simple unavoidable fact that there are more white girls to hit on.

[Zdrav]

^

I dunno, look elsewhere? If Asian guys are so timid that they can only fathom dating Asian girls, then Asian girls will continue to look elsewhere for a worthy challenge. There are so many attractive girls of all ethnicities, but so many Asian losers have this dichotomy of Asian-White.

[Yeahman]

Originally Posted by Zdrav

^

I dunno, look elsewhere? If Asian guys are so timid that they can only fathom dating Asian girls, then Asian girls will continue to look elsewhere for a worthy challenge. There are so many attractive girls of all ethnicities, but so many Asian losers have this dichotomy of Asian-White.

OK obviously you're not an Asian guy. Or you're an Asian guy who's made it in life. The rest of us are still struggling or have given up.

[Chooky]

Originally Posted by ye110man

I blame Asian girls for all my problems. When 50% of them are going for white guys, what's an Asian guy supposed to do?

If a white guy and a Asian guy have the same pick-up skills, the white guy will probably get more girls because of the simple unavoidable fact that there are more white girls to hit on.

Try and go for the sympathy fucks! It worked for me like a charm. Many girls have a weakness that I exploited to the full - sympathy for the underdog. Be an underdog and get laid.....TODAY!!!!

1-800-UND-ERDOG

[Arex]

Originally Posted by Zdrav

^

I dunno, look elsewhere? If Asian guys are so timid that they can only fathom dating Asian girls, then Asian girls will continue to look elsewhere for a worthy challenge. There are so many attractive girls of all ethnicities, but so many Asian losers have this dichotomy of Asian-White.

So Asian girls have a greater tendency to date non-Asians (read: white) because Asian guys are primarily interested in dating Asian girls?? Weird.

Given that white males are primarily interested in dating white females, where are the droves of white women who want to get with minority men???

Anyway, I agree it's silly to place all of your blame eggs in the race basket. If you have no game, spend less time on-line bitching about your lack of game and your reasons therefor, and spend more time going out there trying to get some.

On the other hand, I think it's pretty ignorant to think race does not play a factor in many aspects of society and particularly in dating. If it didn't, based on numbers alone, Asian guys and girls both would all be more likely than not hooking up with non-Asians since there are more of 'em.