Would you date an asian girl with an asian fetish?

[returntosender]

As much as I hate asian women who only date whites I feel like I can't be fully attracted to an asian woman who exclusively date asian men. This includes women who have too much asian pride. Those who only have asian friends, only date asian men, and generally try to express how un-white they really are are kind of a turn off for me. I don't know why that is. I guess I feel burdened by the fact I constantly have to keep up with the whole asian identity or else be seen as weak and impressionable.

To give an example, there is this girl that recently started working at my place. She is very good looking, artistic, sweet and nice and most importantly we share the same kind of sense of humour. The first day we worked together there was a lot of chemistry-everything just felt so easy. We were so completely comfortable with each other. Anyway, slowly I'm finding out that she surrounds herself with mostly if not only Asian people. She has books with stickers and photographs of her and her friends and they are all Asian. She's a really proud Asian and I feel less attracted to her because of that. I'll be the first to admit that i have a f*d up mentality but I simply can't help it.

Any of you guys feel this way some time?

[Azn Retribution]

maybe your just uber insecure about your asian-ness, ethnicity and your identity. and most likely alot more.

actually Im kinda sure thats it. judging about how you talk about being "Burdened"
and all. You just seem really uncomfortable of what you are. What's wrong with being asian.
is it like OMG your too asian dude.... their gonna call you a FOB.


Unless she's screaming AzN Pride fo sho.
and singing the Got Rice song all the time.
I dont think she's too over the top with the whole asian thing.
Sometimes alot of your friends just end up being asian because you found them easier to relate to growing up. *gasp* they might have non-asian friends you don't even know about. this is just all stuff your ASSuming.
and being proud of your cultural heritage is nothing bad.
its not the same as being all like... "I'm chinese. we're superior. pwn3d."

Anyway...
How about trying not to judge it like that and not giving a shit about whether you come off asian or not cuz it is after all what you are.

Its not really a fetish if you have a preference for those of similar upbringings. you just relate to each other more or just prefer that look. Some guys prefer blondes. To each their own and all that.

[Napoleon Chynamite]

I don't think Asian women who date Asian men exclusively (or Asian men who date Asian women exclusively) necessarily have an Asian fetish or unhealthy obsession. They might just prefer someone who understands their culture/lifestyle, or even just b/c of physical similarities. I know plenty of Asian people who think this way and they are anything but fetishizers. Simply put, they grew up around Asians, they feel they have more in common, and due to exposure are more attracted to their own ethnicity or race. What is so fucked up about that? You wouldn't say it's fucked up if a white girl preferred to date only white guys, would you? If the Asian guy/girl grew up in a hick town surrounded by whites and developed a type of irrational unhealthy fetish for Asian women/men later on then that would be a different story, but most Asian people who prefer to date exclusively Asian don't fit into this category.

[deez nuts]

yes because that just says she's easy with bright neon lights to me.

[applehead]

Originally Posted by returntosender

As much as I hate asian women who only date whites I feel like I can't be fully attracted to an asian woman who exclusively date asian men. This includes women who have too much asian pride. Those who only have asian friends, only date asian men, and generally try to express how un-white they really are are kind of a turn off for me. I don't know why that is. I guess I feel burdened by the fact I constantly have to keep up with the whole asian identity or else be seen as weak and impressionable.

To give an example, there is this girl that recently started working at my place. She is very good looking, artistic, sweet and nice and most importantly we share the same kind of sense of humour. The first day we worked together there was a lot of chemistry-everything just felt so easy. We were so completely comfortable with each other. Anyway, slowly I'm finding out that she surrounds herself with mostly if not only Asian people. She has books with stickers and photographs of her and her friends and they are all Asian. She's a really proud Asian and I feel less attracted to her because of that. I'll be the first to admit that i have a f*d up mentality but I simply can't help it.

Any of you guys feel this way some time?

having pictures of asian friends and sticker pictures
mean you don't date asian men?

gah. there's no pleasing some people.

[SunWuKong]

when an Asian woman only dates Asian men, it means she has an Asian fetish?

i would have thought it's only the normal thing to do, especially for fobby girls and guys.

but yeah, of course i would date an Asian woman who only dates Asian men. most of my friends are Asian and most of my Asian female friends only seem to date Asian guys.

[thaite]

You asking a bunch of Asian dudes whether they would go for an Asian chick who has the hots for them? C'mon oooonnnnn!

[Arex]

What's so wrong with Asians that you find it troubling that this Asian girl would have predominantly Asian friends? Did you ever stop to think that, perhaps, one of the reasons you two hit it off so well is because you two are both Asian?

RX

[Paradox]

Does. Not. Compute.

I don't get what the OP is trying to say please read up on what a fetishist is. It's someone of another race who feels the need to fetishize a race for sexual or stereotypical reasons. It's an obsession.. a disorder. If someone is asian they really can't be called a fetishist. Maybe a racist if they only choose to associate with one type of people but definitely not a fetishist.

I'll respond to this thread by saying that i've run into white female asian fetishists before and they always struck me as highly eccentric and strange people. Usually they are into anime or j-pop or something..or they view asians as "that" type who are willing to do certain things. I don't know. I just know that I don't want anything to do with them just like I don't want anything to do with their male counterparts.

[Flow to Live]

really i don't look for ethnicity when it comes to dating i look for 80% apperence 20 % personalities

[SunWuKong]

Originally Posted by Paradox

I'll respond to this thread by saying that i've run into white female asian fetishists before and they always struck me as highly eccentric and strange people. Usually they are into anime or j-pop or something..or they view asians as "that" type who are willing to do certain things. I don't know. I just know that I don't want anything to do with them just like I don't want anything to do with their male counterparts.

i've dated this black/Native American girl that is into Asian guys. but her whole deal is that guys don't like black girls and girls don't like Asian guys. so she wants to go after Asian guys because of that. i finally couldn't stand her whining anymore and had a female friend of mine bitch her out on IM. she called me to tell me i'm an asshole and then she hung up. hahhah. also, she would talk about her ex's all the time when she was out with me. that got on my nerve more than anything else.

i didn't understand her anyway. her family fully identifies with being Native American, but she also considers herself black. i guess it's the one-drop rule. she could pass for a light-skinned black girl.

[Paradox]

Originally Posted by SunWuKong

i've dated this black/Native American girl that is into Asian guys. but her whole deal is that guys don't like black girls and girls don't like Asian guys.

That's even more disgusting in my mind because she's trolling for dates with asian guys because she feels there's a valid racial hierarchy there. Jesus christ. This is what i'm talking about folks and why i'm so disgusted with this country in general. It's a good thing my ass is going back to Thailand in less than 10 days. Really, this country can kiss my ass.

[AliBabaIncorporated]

Originally Posted by Paradox

Does. Not. Compute.

I don't get what the OP is trying to say please read up on what a fetishist is. It's someone of another race who feels the need to fetishize a race for sexual or stereotypical reasons. It's an obsession.. a disorder. If someone is asian they really can't be called a fetishist. Maybe a racist if they only choose to associate with one type of people but definitely not a fetishist.

I can think of at least two images which fit what returntosender was talking about:

1. Intra-Asian fetish. Like a Taiwanese girl who won't date local guys but only Japanese guys.
2. A whitewashed AA who just had an ethnic reawakening and makes a fetish out of always talking about everything related to her heritage and showing off her alleged "knowledge" about it and "connection" to it. The kind who are always hanging out with Asians and no one else, etc, not because they don't fit in with others, but because they consciously restrict themselves. Actually this one happens to hapas a lot.

[returntosender]

Originally Posted by Flow to Live

really i don't look for ethnicity when it comes to dating i look for 80% apperence 20 % personalities

That's exactly what I am saying. I don't know what people are getting mad at. I just hate the fact she has a dating pattern based on a racial preference-EVEN if it's her own race.

[Azn Retribution]

Originally Posted by returntosender

That's exactly what I am saying. I don't know what people are getting mad at. I just hate the fact she has a dating pattern based on a racial preference-EVEN if it's her own race.

No one's getting mad at you.

You said before you don't know that 100% for sure.
Your just assuming it. (I wonder why you jump to the "race" conclusion so quickly.)

and your not really listening.
We're saying it might not be race as much as it is easier to identify with people who had similar upbringings(ie other Asian Americans).

I don't know why your so defensive or jumpy about it.
The fact that it even bothers you should lead you to question your
own security about how comfortable you feel about being "asian"
or why you even care about how you are percieved.

Anyway at the rate your going.

It seems like you won't have to worry about her "preference"
cuz your gonna lose her if you can't get over this whole racial
preference insecurity bit. Why don't you just not worry about that
aspect and talk to her like anyone else (like you are now)