Relationship Advice Needed (and possible legal advice)

[deez nuts]

since we've been on a roll with the relationship advice as of late courtesy of archspeed and stunninglyasian, i have a question myself about relationships. i need relationship advice in regards to my temptation to show a public display of affection towards mary palm and her five sisters.


scenerio: when i'm driving to work in the mornings, i listen to the howard stern show. sometimes he has hot chicks tell hot stories or he makes hot chicks take their clothes off and they do stuff to them i.e. spank them, strap them to the tickle chair. i am often tempted to "relieve" myself in the car while listening to the show. how much trouble can i get into if the cops see me masturbating in my own car?

[Commando_turned_MD]

Tell the cop your penis is itching. You're just scratching it.........to alleviate the itching sensation....
If the cop is a hot female, asked her if she would like to scratch it for you.....

Worst case scenario is that you will be cited w/ a misdemeanor..........Get a fancy lawyer and have it expunged from your record....No big deal..

[Emperor_Mike]

Lewd conduct? That would fall under Article 245 of New York's Consolidated Laws, yes? In which case, public lewdness could result in a maximum sentence of 3 months in jail and a $500 fine. Mere exposure carries a maximum sentence of 15 days in jail and a $250 fine.

Just make sure you don't get caught.

[Commando_turned_MD]

Originally Posted by Emperor_Mike

Lewd conduct? That would fall under Article 245 of New York's Consolidated Laws, yes? In which case, public lewdness could result in a maximum sentence of 3 months in jail and a $500 fine. Mere exposure carries a maximum sentence of 15 days in jail and a $250 fine.

Just make sure you don't get caught.

How about:
Just wear loose scrubs...Put your hand down your scrubs without exposing JR.. Spank away...Cant be a lewd act or exposure if nothing is visible.....I think

Anyway, wear acondom so clean up is easier.....Dont want "man-juice" all over the place....unless it's a rental car.....you're entitle to paint the interior with man-juice....

[Emperor_Mike]

Article 245 includes "lewd acts" in addition to indecent exposure. I'm not sure how "lewd acts" are being defined.

I would imagine that subtlety would be of some aid in bringing this...ahh...endeavour to a successful completion.

[yoMAMA]

and you can always blame it on howard stern [aka the man with america's smallest dick].

[ism]

Does it count as a sex crime?

[golden_buns]

Originally Posted by Chasiubao_Boy

scenerio: when i'm driving to work in the mornings, i listen to the howard stern show. sometimes he has hot chicks tell hot stories or he makes hot chicks take their clothes off and they do stuff to them i.e. spank them, strap them to the tickle chair. i am often tempted to "relieve" myself in the car while listening to the show. how much trouble can i get into if the cops see me masturbating in my own car?

Why not tinting the windows?

[deez nuts]

Originally Posted by Commando_turned_MD

nk
Anyway, wear acondom so clean up is easier.....Dont want "man-juice" all over the place....unless it's a rental car.....you're entitle to paint the interior with man-juice....

no. i like it raw. but, i do throw a tissue on top of the volcano when it's erupting.

i should also buy a bottle of febreeze so my car won't smell like ammonia and put my jewish lawyer on speed dial.

Originally Posted by golden_buns

Why not tinting the windows?

i was thinking about it cuz once i was sitting in traffic there was this hot blonde in a bikini next to me in her car. i was like damn, i wish i had my windows tinted so i can make some pudding.

Originally Posted by yoMAMA

and you can always blame it on howard stern [aka the man with america's smallest dick].

this is when a teeny weeny proves to be beneficial. my erect cock doesn't even come close to touching the bottom of the steering wheel. if i was tommy lee where his erect cock almost reaches the top of the steering wheel (from his porn video with pam), it would pose a problem to get a squirt off.

[Commando_turned_MD]

Originally Posted by Chasiubao_Boy

no. i like it raw. but, i do throw a tissue on top of the volcano when it's erupting.

i should also buy a bottle of febreeze so my car won't smell like ammonia and put my jewish lawyer on speed dial.




i was thinking about it cuz once i was sitting in traffic there was this hot blonde in a bikini next to me in her car. i was like damn, i wish i had my windows tinted so i can make some pudding.



this is when a teeny weeny proves to be beneficial. my erect cock doesn't even come close to touching the bottom of the steering wheel. if i was tommy lee where his erect cock almost reaches the top of the steering wheel (from his porn video with pam), it would pose a problem to get a squirt off.

Here's another sugestion: Use a masturbator sleeve. That way you can have both hands on the steering wheel.
SAFETY 1ST!!!

[deez nuts]

Originally Posted by Commando_turned_MD

Here's another sugestion: Use a masturbator sleeve. That way you can have both hands on the steering wheel.
SAFETY 1ST!!!

good advice. i'm too pretty to die.

[kimpossible]

Well, if you're going to spank it publicly make sure you don't do it close to a school or with questionably underage people around. I'm not sure how much it varies by state but some criminal acts normally misdemeanors are felonies once children of a certain age are present.

I can see a situation where you are willing to risk the chance of getting caught thinking it's only a fine, then oh shit you happened to pull over with a school a block away and kids were out at recess.

[TB4000]

I thought it kind of odd that CSB was actually on here asking advice for the first time since I've been on here. I knew it was a clever ploy to discuss masturbation, I just knew it.

[DaMuo]

Remind me never to borrow your car.

[golden_buns]

Originally Posted by DaMuo

Remind me never to borrow your car.

LOL

Remind me not to ever get into your car