racist & sexist satire on asian actresses

[sandra]

because the image of asian female actresses in hollywood is already so great:

Asian Refugee Actresses Wash Up on Beaches
October 16, 2004

Another wave of Asian Refugee Actresses (ARAs) washed up on area beaches. The confused young women say they paid top dollar to be smuggled illegally from "actor training camps" in the jungles of Southeast Asia onto Long Beach-bound freighters.

by George Wolfe
MANHATTAN BEACH, Ca. — In what is turning out to be a strange summer phenomenon, dozens of Asian women are being plucked out of the ocean by Coast Guard and Lifeguard vessels after the women apparently jumped ship and swam for the beaches — toward careers in Hollywood.

"It's totally crazy," said Redondo Beach lifeguard, Sven Wörmslüme. "We're reeling these gals in like holy mackerel on Easter Sunday!"

The Coast Guard estimates that over 500 Asian women have been hauled in over the past two months. The women are typically stowed below deck on U.S.-bound freighters, but when they see land they've been overwhelming their human smuggler captors with martial arts maneuvers they learned at their actor training camps. Then they jump ship with makeshift flotation devices or swim as fast as possible.

Many of the women show evidence of plastic surgery that has them resembling celebrity actresses such as Lucy Liu (Charlie's Angels, Kill Bill), Michelle Yeoh (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon), Zhang Ziyi (Hero), Angelica Lee (The Eye), Li Gong (Farewell My Concubine), Christina Chang (The West Wing, L.A. Dragnet) and Go So-Young (Comrade).

The women, many speaking in broken English cliches from famous action films, acknowledged that they each scraped together hefty sums of money to attend actor training programs in the jungles of Southeast Asia, and that the fee included passage to America where they could presumably break into Hollywood.

While some of the young women eluded authorities, slipped away and have landed representation fresh off the boat, many other women have had their careers delayed as they wait in detention centers. At one facility, however, a group of these women revolted, beat up a staff of twenty heavily armed guards, and escaped onto the streets of Hollywood.

"They just went berserk on us!" said one beaten-up guard who requested anonymity, "It's like, on the boat, they'd all gotten in sync with their periods or something. They're kick-ass women for sure… and awfully pretty, but what they did to us — it wasn't a pretty sight. What am I going to tell my children?"

from lalatimes.com



not sure what we can do about this. below is their contact info. since they like to write about asian women so much, perhaps we can provide them some inspiration with free asian porn.

Contact
You can jot random comments to: Editor@lalatimes.com
You can inquire about advertising via: Thea@lalatimes.com
You can address website concerns to: WebMistress@lalatimes.com
You can direct immature, unadulterated hate mail to: Trash@lalatimes.com

[yoMAMA]

tasteless trash!

[Cipherous]

damn thats fucked up.

[yoMAMA]

shall we start a class action suit?

kasia you are the lawyer here.

[applehead]

is this supposed to be funny?

[BigLew]

Horrible...

[kimpossible]

Originally Posted by applehead

is this supposed to be funny?

The site looks like they're trying to be The Onion.

[kitty]

and failing miserably.

that's just stupid. barely worth getting riled up about.

[deez nuts]

lol.

and it's a black dude carrying the asian girl's washed up body to safety.

ming na is that you? it looks like her in the pic.

[SunWuKong]

what? i don't get it...

and Angelica Lee isn't even trying to get into Hollywood. she seems to be content for the time being making HK movies.

[moser]

How did that get published? That is the saddest attempt at satire I've ever seen.

[mr. x]

they arent funny

shit at least when the squelched does racist humor its funny, iono maybe LA types are too shallow, whereas berkeley people know satire better

[applehead]

Originally Posted by moser

How did that get published? That is the saddest attempt at satire I've ever seen.

yeah seriously,
i don't understand how things like this get past
the many editors and such.
do they all possess the same type of humour
or lack thereof?
or what?

it's not even offensive. it's just too stupid
to be taken as anything else but stupid.