interracial dating/marriage disparity between Asian men and women

[krome]

Originally Posted by kimpossible

I thought the mainstream idea of IR is some Romeo & Juliet tragic thing where the families and society at large are working against the love of the IR couple who are working on breaking down cultural barriers by rubbing genitalia together repeatedly.

LMFAO!!!! There is great truth in great comedy. At their pinnacles, they are in fact, one and the same.

You get a big cookie. Bwahaha. 2nd-funniest line I've read all week!

Originally Posted by stunninglyAsian

What are the reasons for not dating an Asian woman?

Well, I think it's more why women don't want to date AMs?

I'd say #1 is AMs are found s*xually-unattractive by ~1/2 AFs and 90% of WFs. I mean, let's cut to the chase here with Occam's Razor. The rest is all trivial BS.

Originally Posted by Furious Ming

asian men:

70% prefer dating asian women exclusively
25% are open to dating asian and non-asian women
5% prefer dating out (usually some white chick) exclusively

flip side

asian women:

30% prefer dating asian men exclusively
50% are open to dating asian and non-asian men
20% prefer dating out (usually some white guy) exclusively

That sounds somewhat reasonable.

[kimpossible]

Originally Posted by krome

Well, I think it's more why women don't want to date AMs?

I'd say #1 is AMs are found s*xually-unattractive by ~1/2 AFs and 90% of WFs.

Aside from the fact that you didn't include all women (only Asian and white), I think those numbers are waayyy too high. What makes you think it's the majority that are unattracted to AA men? We can already make it a given about media stereotypes, etc., I just mean in somewhat more detailed yet clear terms, what makes you say that?

[krome]

^ True, let's just say %s for BFs and Latinas would prolly fall close to WFs - but it's harder to guesstimate since they're much smaller population segments and so your sample sizes/encounters are far smaller. I mean, I think I've only had 1 BF ever flirt with me in real life, and she was the office flirt who flirted with a lotta guys.

Well, we can pull stats on outmarriage rates for our age-group. Combining that with personal experience and anecdotal evidence, I formed my opinion. I'm sure they could vary a fair bit regionally, though.

[kimpossible]

er... how about we just talk about it rather than put up outmarriage statistics because it'll get too far off topic. i was more interested in what you had to say/think than some statistics from somewhere anyhow. i trust you had your reasons even if i thought your numbers were off.

[krome]

^ Well, you can just get a vibe when you meet someone or walk into a room who's attracted to you and who's not. And over a lifetime, you'll quickly notice the types of men women generally prefer. And don't.

Personally, quite a few of my family and our family friends have or are getting married around now. 1 of my sisters married an AM. Another is marrying a WM. I have 2 other cousins marrying WMs. 1 is marrying an AM. About ~5-10 family friend AFs are/have married WMs. Maybe 1 or 2 married an AM.

Of the handful of AM (Chinese) family friends who have gotten/getting married recently - all married FOBs or Vietnamese girls - except for maybe 2 older couples.

So, I don't believe the outmarriage stats are exaggerated. At all.

Now, an AM named Wyn Ngo tried some internet dating experiments where he posed as different races. His results were nothing less than sobering. The race card made THE HUGEST difference in basically every case. The feedback was diametrically-opposed and all largely (subtly or not) race-based.

"WM" vs AM

Oh . . .and boy did she cut loose with what she really thought of Asian men. She ran down her list:

"You geeks got small d*cks."
"Puny man-bitches."
"I'd rather go lesbian with hot girls . . . ."
"You need to learn how to fuck like a man . . . "

"Quadrupa" vs Full AM

Personally, I don't find any of this shocking, in the least. It only confirmed all my experiential suspicions as correct. It doesn't matter who or what you are individually - our AM "brand name" carries a stigma like "Yugo." Even if a girl likes the look or ride...it's still a "Yugo." But in most cases, they won't even bother test-driving you to find out b/c "Yugo" has already pre-disqualified you in their minds before they've ever even seen you.

[kimpossible]

LW might want to split the topic because we're going off course into IR disparity instead of Asian males dating or not dating Asian females, but anyhow... krome, I like it when you share more of your history and thoughts about whys and hows rather than macro level stats. Not ragging on some of the links you provide, it's actually meant as a compliment that I'm interested in your thought process and perspective.

Fair enough on the marriage stats, but in particular I was addressing your percentages regarding attraction to AMs for the record. But in regard to outmarriage, I'm surprised. I guess the assumption I was operating under was that Chinese were 'stickier' than Japanese and it was Japanese that were skewing the stats. Of course, I'm mixed Japanese so I guess it's fair to say that's what I'm most familiar with and maybe that colored my POV.

edit: uh... do we really need the links to "small dicks," etc? i think the dating profile article was much more interesting as a stand alone.

edit 2: ah, it's the same article. i see. this is an interesting article. a little bit sensationalist but i think the reaction written by the blog owner raises questions similar to what i had.

[mndeg]

i think this means hapa people will outnumber normal asians sometime in the future (in the states), especially when asian immigration slows down due to the FAST development of asia

[krome]

Originally Posted by kimpossible

edit: uh... do we really need the links to "small dicks," etc? i think the dating profile article was much more interesting as a stand alone.

Well Kim, that's the REAL DATING WORLD I face out there EVERYDAY as an AM. It might sound crude out in the open here - but it's truly what's going thru all these womens' minds when they diss and dimiss me and other AMs a priori.

I linked both net experiments for you to read in full. I hope it helps answer your questions. I usually post stats because anecdotes are interesting to read, but unreliable on a macro level. (I do know how women love hearing stories vs numbers tho - so I obliged you. )

I can relate to Wyn. Same age range, family AFs all marrying WMs, dating experiences, few positive AM role models growing up, took the brunt of Aunty Tanist "Joy Luck Club Feminism" (aka mis-Sino-andrism), etc. We basically got hammered on all ends, all odds against us, with barely a "Chinaman's chance." Growing up a poor nerd, dating was a luxury I only dreamed about. More immediate priorities included making the grade and making some money first. And as I entered the dating world on my own later on, it was like Jet Li facing the wave of arrows in Hero. It's been a long and winding road to self-development when the deck and the house is stacked so heavily against you at every turn and facet of life. Did I also mention that Asians were excluded as "minorities" eligible for affirmative action in undergrad admissions and scholarships at the time, as well (and still are in most places)?

Not a great time to be a poor Chinaman in this world, much less the US. You get ostracized by rich Asians for being poor, non-Asians for being Asian. You feel double-racism from the outside world and then at home from Aunty Tanists in your own family. You feel a double-minority from being Asian-at-large, and then as an AM in a family where AMs are all quickly being replaced and outnumbered by WMs. H*ll YEA, I got issues! Heck, my issues got back issues!

But, I digress. Hope that answers some more questions for you.

Originally Posted by mndeg

i think this means hapa people will outnumber normal asians sometime in the future (in the states), especially when asian immigration slows down due to the FAST development of asia

That's already been projected to hapen very soon now.

I can confirm that HAPAs are prolly the fast growing segment of the Asian population in the US. According to the Census files, there are more HAPA children than Chinese kids and Korean kids combined.

PS - Yes, Chinese are a little "stickier" than Japanese. But, that is not saying much. I believe Japanese, Korean and Pinay women outmarry the most of any ethnicity out there.

[golden_buns]

Originally Posted by krome

I can relate to Wyn. Same age range, family AFs all marrying WMs, dating experiences, few positive AM role models growing up, took the brunt of Aunty Tanist "Joy Luck Club Feminism" (aka mis-Sino-andrism), etc. We basically got hammered on all ends, all odds against us, with barely a "Chinaman's chance." Growing up a poor nerd, dating was a luxury I only dreamed of. More immediate priorities included making the grade and making some money. And as I entered the dating world on my own later on, it was like Jet Li facing the wave of arrows in Hero. It's been a long and winding road to self-development when the deck and the house is stacked so heavily against you at every turn and facet of life. Did I also mention that Asians were excluded as "minorities" eligible for affirmative action in undergrad admissions and scholarships at the time, as well (and still are in most places)?

/* Sad violin melody on the background */

[krome]

Originally Posted by golden_buns

/* Sad violin melody on the background */

Hey, she asked...!

Funny how when Aunty Tan writes sob story after sob story - people empathize in tears.

But when an AM does...he gets clowned. I guess I don't fit the helpless victimized China doll Orientalist stereotype. Well, I ain't lookin' for sympathy BYOTCH, just trying to give Kim some insight on the madness behind my method. But, I guess I'll go back to posting impersonal stats now, cuz these are the types of callous, immature responses I can only expect here in rich ivory tower liberal-elite land.

[mndeg]

i guess thats the self breeding out of easily manipulated men and women
so that leaves the normal asians in america as the master race? lol (joke)

[golden_buns]

Originally Posted by krome

But when an AM does...he gets clowned. I guess I don't fit the helpless victimized China doll Orientalist stereotype. Well, I ain't lookin' for sympathy BYOTCH, just trying to give Kim some insight on the madness behind my method. But, I guess I'll go back to posting impersonal stats now, cuz these are the types of callous, immature responses I can only expect here in rich ivory tower liberal-elite land.

I'm showing sympathy too, don't you know that music helps create the mood?

And gimme back my karma you thief!

[Chester]

Originally Posted by krome

Well Kim, that's the REAL DATING WORLD I face out there EVERYDAY as an AM.

I can empathize, but focusing on the negatives "stacked against" you isn't going to help you at all. Bitterness isn't going to do good things to your personality and then things'll just become a recursive cycle.

So you've been dealt some cards that force you to work harder...so work harder and you'll get yours. Your individual life isn't inextricably tied to larger sociopolitical forces. If a large proportion of women would never be attracted to you, then so be it. All you need is to find one who will.

[Napoleon Chynamite]

Dude why the fuck does everything always come down to outmarriage rates and AM's getting 'shafted'? Is it possible to carry on discussion without this issue ever coming up? Just curious. Very curious.

[Chester]

Originally Posted by Gumby

Is it possible to carry on discussion without this issue ever coming up?

That's a silly question.

Of course not.