HellBoy: a Review

[Adaon]

Review of HellBoy: The Movie

By Patrick Kong

Recently, a comeback of comic book heros have come back to the screen, whether that screen was the small screen in the privacy of people's homes to the big screens in those overpopulated neon bright cine-plexes. From Superman going through puberty to the forming of hero in Spiderman to the Hulk smashing onto the big screen, people worldwide have been entraced with comic book characters, come to life and comic book producers, such as Marvel Studios, have profited from them. However, with every harvest of fruit, there's always that one bad apple. And so, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I present you the first candidate for the dubious title of THE worst Cinematic Interpretation of a Comic Book of 2004 would be Hellboy.

My movie experience started out hampered as it was, from the greasy KFC (Kitchen Fresh doesn't equate to chicken sitting under a heat lamp in its grease for several hours at a time) to the saving of 7 seats with only myselk and 4 sweatshirts. However, once the other members of the disgruntled audience dispersed and my friends arrived, the movie started well enough.

The opening scene of World War II was intriguing to the plot, and as it unfolded, you were introduced to the main players of the story, from the red skinned demon to a mysterious villain to the cheesy bespectacled, all knowing smart guy who gets ignored by the "good guys".The first five minutes was a great intriguing scene, followed by a one sided battle until a fluke occurs. Then, like the rest of the movie afterwards, it all goes down hill. The plot was pretty straight forward, but so simple, a 2 year old reading a book about the alphabet would have been more intriguing. The aged head of the Agency of Paranormal Defense faces his failing health and a 60 year old demon going through the throws of puberty and a first crush/love. To top things off, an enemy from the past has emerged to the future to threaten the world with annihilation again. Guess it's time to kick some butt. Yay. With no real character development, you can't tell the difference between the characters before, or after the non-existant climax/anti-climax.

From a love triangle, to the cheesy death of a character, to the "enrapturing" computer graphic battles, Hellboy takes you through two hours of pure underadulterated mind numbing Hell. My suggestion to anyone who hopes to be entertained at the movies, would to be to watch linoleum curl, if you have no other choice. At least you won't feel as braindead after. I want two hours of my life back.

[draconisz]

Originally Posted by Adaon

Review of HellBoy: The Movie

By Patrick Kong

Recently, a comeback of comic book heros have come back to the screen, whether that screen was the small screen in the privacy of people's homes to the big screens in those overpopulated neon bright cine-plexes. From Superman going through puberty to the forming of hero in Spiderman to the Hulk smashing onto the big screen, people worldwide have been entraced with comic book characters, come to life and comic book producers, such as Marvel Studios, have profited from them. However, with every harvest of fruit, there's always that one bad apple. And so, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I present you the first candidate for the dubious title of THE worst Cinematic Interpretation of a Comic Book of 2004 would be Hellboy.

My movie experience started out hampered as it was, from the greasy KFC (Kitchen Fresh doesn't equate to chicken sitting under a heat lamp in its grease for several hours at a time) to the saving of 7 seats with only myselk and 4 sweatshirts. However, once the other members of the disgruntled audience dispersed and my friends arrived, the movie started well enough.

The opening scene of World War II was intriguing to the plot, and as it unfolded, you were introduced to the main players of the story, from the red skinned demon to a mysterious villain to the cheesy bespectacled, all knowing smart guy who gets ignored by the "good guys".The first five minutes was a great intriguing scene, followed by a one sided battle until a fluke occurs. Then, like the rest of the movie afterwards, it all goes down hill. The plot was pretty straight forward, but so simple, a 2 year old reading a book about the alphabet would have been more intriguing. The aged head of the Agency of Paranormal Defense faces his failing health and a 60 year old demon going through the throws of puberty and a first crush/love. To top things off, an enemy from the past has emerged to the future to threaten the world with annihilation again. Guess it's time to kick some butt. Yay. With no real character development, you can't tell the difference between the characters before, or after the non-existant climax/anti-climax.

From a love triangle, to the cheesy death of a character, to the "enrapturing" computer graphic battles, Hellboy takes you through two hours of pure underadulterated mind numbing Hell. My suggestion to anyone who hopes to be entertained at the movies, would to be to watch linoleum curl, if you have no other choice. At least you won't feel as braindead after. I want two hours of my life back.

Well, I am sorry you didn't like it. I give the movie 3 stars. I love Ron Perlman. He is as down to earth as it gets. The plot could have been a bit better. Maybe they could have tried to make things little bit more understandable with the Rasputin character, the nature of his powers, and what the hell was he trying to do. But Ron Perlman's performance as a demon with a dry sense of humor was priceless.

[kitty]

I loved it. it was somewhat predictable, but i'm not sure how much of that is really that bad since it was based on an existing graphic novel that has been around for awhile... :)

[yoMAMA]

haha...ron perlman is that dude that was in the 80s series " beauty and the beast".....along with linda hamilton......

i actually kinda liked that show......

[draconisz]

Originally Posted by yoMAMA

haha...ron perlman is that dude that was in the 80s series " beauty and the beast".....along with linda hamilton......

i actually kinda liked that show......

Well, I can't get with you on that one. But I have a few more movies to see, "Johnson's Family Vacation", "The Punisher", "Troy", and maybe a couple more.

[Adaon]

Dun get me wrong. I like Ron Perlman. I just didn't like the movie. Except one scene. When Meyers gets pegged by a rock (by an unknown assailant) Heh.

[draconisz]

Originally Posted by Adaon

Dun get me wrong. I like Ron Perlman. I just didn't like the movie. Except one scene. When Meyers gets pegged by a rock (by an unknown assailant) Heh.

LOL!!! That was funny.

[kitty]

I was gonna review this thing but you beat me to it! Good job with the review!

[Adaon]

no one's stoppin' ya babe. You're more the comic book aficionado than I will ever be, so your imput is MUCH appreciated.

[yoMAMA]

Originally Posted by Adaon

Dun get me wrong. I like Ron Perlman. I just didn't like the movie. Except one scene. When Meyers gets pegged by a rock (by an unknown assailant) Heh.

I think ron should be the vice president for john kerry.

That will fit the look of the campaign perfectly......

[ellsworth81]

Originally Posted by yoMAMA

haha...ron perlman is that dude that was in the 80s series " beauty and the beast".....along with linda hamilton......

i actually kinda liked that show......

he was best in Alien Resurrection

[yoMAMA]

he was pretty good in "enemies at the gate"....although his role was pretty quickly killed off, too.

[Shogun Empress]

LOL@Hellboy coming out right after Passion of the Christ! Is this the best Satan can do? LOL He's destined to lose.

[kitty]

Originally Posted by Shogun Empress

LOL@Hellboy coming out right after Passion of the Christ! Is this the best Satan can do? LOL He's destined to lose.

This isn't directed specifically towards this comment, but this joke is getting tired. Why do people see the word 'Hell' in the title of this movie and assume that it must be the antithesis of 'Passion'.

A) Passion is no religious epiphany. It's two hours of an exploration into the cruelty of man.

B) Hellboy has about as much to do with Satan as... a cat does with a can-opener.

[Shogun Empress]

Originally Posted by kittygirl

This isn't directed specifically towards this comment, but this joke is getting tired. Why do people see the word 'Hell' in the title of this movie and assume that it must be the antithesis of 'Passion'.

It's not a joke. It's just a coincidence that Christians like to point out. I don't have a lot of faith in coincidences nor have I read any Hellboy comic books, so the first thing I see when I see a Hellboy commercial playing right after a Passion of Christ commercial is a God > Satan battle going on in Hollywood.