Who should pay?

[hooligan]

Whoever wants to?

[deez nuts]

i think it'll be totally sweet if the woman paid for dinner on all the dates.

i like the idea of taking turns paying the tab. i don't necessarily like splitting the tab because from my experience the woman's idea of splitting say a $60 dinner tab is chipping in with a $10 bill.

[nonamerasian]

I don't think the guy should always pay because then I'd be a moocher. And I don't think he should mooch, either.

But I don't think there should be a big deal about making sure that everything is exactly 50/50.

Like, don't break out the calculator after dessert.

And don't do the petty, "I paid last time." Making a big deal out of it, making sure you don't contribute a penny this time. Or refuse to go to an Applebee's because you treated your SO to a big restaurant last time and you want him/her to pay an equally big bill.

But I think striving for 50/50 is a good idea. Well...More like striving to pull some of the weight so that one person isn't always doing the treating.

[moser]

Whoever asks for the first few ones, then each pay their own way.

[Meki]

For me, it depends... If I really like the guy and he insisted then I'd let him pay once in a while but I have issues with the not paying my own way... I don't have a problem paying for the full meal. Not to say that I wouldn't know a moocher when I see one but that date wouldn't last very long anyway. But yeah... I hate the idea of keeping tabs... So as long as I like the guy then paying for the whole date is not an issue for me.

[nola]

It depends on the person. It turned out with younger guys I paid alot, with older ones they paid. They young ones made me buy manga too or whatever it is they read!

[Meki]

Originally Posted by nola

They young ones made me buy manga too or whatever it is they read!

Whoa... How young are we talking here Alicia? You are such a hottie... Wish I could be like you...

[nola]

NOT! In their 20s.

[ism]

Generally whoever is more capable or prorated on income and/or situational basis. Say Partner A makes $80k/year and Partner B makes $60k/year but Partner A is paying a mortgage on a $700k house and Partner B has car payments but lives at home, except Partner B is used to a more lavish lifestyle due to affluent parents. Partner B's expectations of a date are likely to incur a higher cost than Partner A. Therefore, Partner B's intent of incurring a higher cost should impact Partner A not just to the extent of Partner A's ability to pay for it but Partner A's intent of participating in the activity. This leaves a general ratio of:

A (disposable income) * A (date cost expectation factor) / B (disposable income) * B (date cost expectation factor)

Given the example above, let's say we have:

4000 * 0.5 / 20000 * 0.8 = 2000 / 16000 = 1/8 date burden ratio

I'm kidding. Taking turns is nice and easy.

[thaite]

Taking turns is nice, but no matter whose turn it is, they guy should be prepared to pay.

[Meki]

Originally Posted by thaite

Taking turns is nice, but no matter whose turn it is, they guy should be prepared to pay.

So I don't get it... Would you guys actually date a girl who didn't bring any money with her? I mean not even a credit card? I would think that was a little thoughtless... and a bit presumptuous on their part...

[nola]

Originally Posted by ism

Generally whoever is more capable or prorated on income and/or situational basis. Say Partner A makes $80k/year and Partner B makes $60k/year but Partner A is paying a mortgage on a $700k house and Partner B has car payments but lives at home, except Partner B is used to a more lavish lifestyle due to affluent parents. Partner B's expectations of a date are likely to incur a higher cost than Partner A. Therefore, Partner B's intent of incurring a higher cost should impact Partner A not just to the extent of Partner A's ability to pay for it but Partner A's intent of participating in the activity. This leaves a general ratio of:

A (disposable income) * A (date cost expectation factor) / B (disposable income) * B (date cost expectation factor)

Given the example above, let's say we have:

4000 * 0.5 / 20000 * 0.8 = 2000 / 16000 = 1/8 date burden ratio

I'm kidding. Taking turns is nice and easy.

HAHAHA!

Originally Posted by thaite

Taking turns is nice.

That sounded dirty.

[Chester]

I assume I'm going to pay and make the effort to make this the case whenever I can. But, with many women, the line between being cheap and patronizing can be surprisingly narrow. It seems it usually ends up as a take-turns thing, which can either be a "you pay for dinner one date, I pay the next date" or even a "you pay for dinner, and I'll pay for drinks at the bar or tickets to the show or the admission fee to the S/M club". Whatever.

Still, I think there's often an expectation that the guy put forth more effort and spend more money than the gal, when all is said and done. The last time when it was not my turn to pay and any attempt to pick up the check probably would've come across as overbearing, I brought a really nice bottle of wine to dinner and arrived early to pay the corkage separately.

[Meki]

I know... It's so funny! Before I got to the end I was sitting here trying to follow what Jose was saying... Like really sitting here contemplating it in my head... Then I finally got to the end and felt like a total idiot...

[applehead]

i say split the bill.
pull out the calculator.
know the correct tax.
and tip accordingly.
yes. yes.

just kidding.
my worst fear is living like that couple
from the movie the joy luck club. where they
even split the groceries.
i would scratch my eyes out.

if one person pays for dinner.
then the other person can pay for movies.
and popcorn.
or bowling. or whatever cheesy stuff
couples do on dates.