Your experiences with sexism with Asian men

[nola]

Hey! Men hijacking women's thread!

How about the compromise: women not be racist, men not be sexist, we meet in the middle?

[mr. x]

i say we shut this thing down, nothing poignant coming out of its mouth anymore

[Irezumi Kiss]

I've never seen so many deleted posts!

And by saying that, THIS post is probably next on the chopping block!

[nola]

Originally Posted by mr. x

i say we shut this thing down, nothing poignant coming out of its mouth anymore

70% (146 out of 214) of the posts on this women's thread about women's experiences with sexism are posted by men. This tells me that the men have alot to be defensive about. As we ask whites to give up their privileges over us as people of color, men must also eventually give up their privileges they exercise over women. I think this will only aid Asian-American empowerment.

[shy]

Originally Posted by nola

70% (146 out of 214) of the posts on this women's thread about women's experiences with sexism are posted by men. This tells me that the men have alot to be defensive about. As we ask whites to give up their privileges over us as people of color, men must also eventually give up their privileges they exercise over women. I think this will only aid Asian-American empowerment.

okay... i'm just impressed w/ the stats. i had no idea! how cool of you to take a look into it! much thanks. :)

[nola]

QUOTE: I wonder how people of color would react if the thread were about racism and a bunch of White people came in.


Yes, imagine if this were a thread about people of colors' experiences with racism and 70% of the posts were by white people. It would be obnoxious.

[Chester]

Originally Posted by nola

70% (146 out of 214) of the posts on this women's thread about women's experiences with sexism are posted by men. This tells me that the men have alot to be defensive about. As we ask whites to give up their privileges over us as people of color, men must also eventually give up their privileges they exercise over women. I think this will only aid Asian-American empowerment.

I won't argue with the latter points, but a big reason why the numbers play out the way they've played out is because...
A. The male members here tend to be more prolific, or at least that's how it seems to me.
B. This thread has had a few male members who have been particularly vociferous/prolific.

I think if you counted the number of male members who have actually posted something "defensive" in this thread, you'd be counting up to a pretty low number.

Which isn't to say that there aren't aspects of sexism peculiar or somewhat unique to the Asian American experience, but I wouldn't take this thread or these forums as anything even remotely approaching a valid demographic survey. If anything, the males here tend to do a fair amount of pandering to the female members.

As for men needing to give up privileges that allow them advantages over women, I don't think you'll find more than a few here who would disagree with that statement.

Yes, imagine if this were a thread about people of colors' experiences with racism and 70% of the posts were by white people. It would be obnoxious.

Sure...if there had been a clear and polite request for the whites to abstain from the conversation...with the promise that this request was made only to enhance an eventual, general discussion open to all.

[Irezumi Kiss]

Originally Posted by nola

QUOTE: I wonder how people of color would react if the thread were about racism and a bunch of White people came in.


Yes, imagine if this were a thread about people of colors' experiences with racism and 70% of the posts were by white people. It would be obnoxious.

It'd only be obnoxious if all that the White people were doing was in defensive mode...only saying stuff like, "well, Black (or whomever fits the bill) people do it to themselves, always snatching old ladies' Prada bags, smoking dope, blast rap music loud on the street in stupid gas guzzling SUVs with stupid accoutrements, shaking their booties in videos, etc., etc..."

It's always the possibility that the "other" can also relate, even if they aren't of the same fur.

[>:^|]

I don't think it was the fact that men posted in this thread that was troublesome. I think it was the assumption of privilege.

[Sledge]

Christ, this thread's a warzone. Holes everywhere where comments were deleted. What are we arguing about at this point? Someone care to summarize for me?

As I'm finding to be the case more and more often, I agree with what Chester said - counting the hostile responses in this thread doesn't say anything about Asian Males in general, since the population sample consists only of those who were compelled to post their opinion.

Nola, how do you think men can give up some of their privileges? I agree with you in theory but am having the darndest time thinking of ways to implement effective change.

Finally, it's hard to generalize, but I've personally met very few Asian men who endorse (and display in their conduct) sexual equality for women. Most are satisfied with the status quo. I suppose I haven't talked to enough Asian men to form a worthwhile, accurate observation.

[mr. x]

i still say we shut this down cuz even the legitimate responses get clogged by the bull

i posted something legit and it got chop chopped

sigh

nola what exactly did you mean by giving up priveleges? i too would like to know. i definetely think this is a male plagued topic. i spose it started off as an anecdote thread but then yeah it was a "what about white people?!?" sorta deal. i spose the "sexism from white men" thread has been done to death by the "you ever been hit on by asiaphile" thread but yeah i duno where this threads going anymore.

close it down

[nola]

Sledge & Mr. X,

Thanks for your concern! I just posted The Male Privilege Checklist on the men's forum and you can start by being aware of them and trying not to exercise them over the women around you. That would be great.

[shy]

though i'm impressed that nola took the time to count the stats and all, i have to agree with chester. counting the hostile comments would have been more accurate. there is obviously nothing wrong with having men have a discussion with us women in the women's forum. after all, we should be able to have intelligent discussions and such.

i suppose, to jump to nola's defense, she was just trying to state that it would be nice for us to have a thread, where we can talk in peace to some extent w/out being aggressively 'attacked' by certain individuals. especially after MANY women here have said that they are not making a generalization to all men. i like what CSB said... that if these individuals want to start their own thread in the men's forum, they certainly have a right to... this way, us women can have some feel of peace in what i would call a safer environment (an environment where we can feel more open in disclosing our personal experiences).

in fact, the initial poster, as i just realized is male. yet he has not received any hostility for starting this thread.

[Sledge]

Originally Posted by nola

Sledge & Mr. X,

Thanks for your concern! I just posted The Male Privilege Checklist on the men's forum and you can start by being aware of them and trying not to exercise them over the women around you. That would be great.

Yeah, I had a post there too. Do you think that the only way for change to occur is for socially aware males to reject their privileges? What do you do about the ones who don't want to change?

[shy]

Originally Posted by Sledge

Yeah, I had a post there too. Do you think that the only way for change to occur is for socially aware males to reject their privileges? What do you do about the ones who don't want to change?

things will never be a 50-50 balance. there will always be that struggle as i think it's society's nature.

for me, i'd be happy just to see more of this awareness of gender privileges from both men and women. i can understand that mistakes will be made but it's so much better if we are consciously aware of such errors and we work on making sure that they do not repeat itself.