Merit vs. Mgmt Potential

[Proud_Jook_Sing]

I grew up thinking good grades, good degree, work hard and the promotions will come. I find the reality, at least in certain fields, that social skills are equally if not more important.

Socials skills - networking, customer interaction, outgoing, extrovert, collaborater, compromiser, humor, empathy.

You know those evil little mixers, office parties, conversations at the water cooler, gym workouts that you suspect are where the real promotions come from.

Well, I have always felt I was handicapped in that arena. Face time is really a foreign idea to me and I'd rather spend time with my family. But as I get older I am beginning to understand how important social skills are and why HR uses the term management potential.

People with good social skills bring in business from clients and customers, they smooth out disputes and can coordinate a group of people with different ideas. Law firms give partner to only those folks who can bring in business. Managers are given more responsibility if they prove they can interact with upper management, peers and subordinates.

For those in the US, social context is pretty important. Small talk about sports, family, investing, current events, etc. is that connection to people. Some professions don't need this as much but for manager types it seems mandatory for advancement.

People talk about a glass ceiling but I think it exists for all people regardless of race if they lack social skills. Merit only goes so far in some professions. I work for a Fortune 500 and minorities who have advanced well have excellent people skills.

What are your professional experiences like?

[nicedream]

i have observed the exact same thing in my corporate life. people skills will take you very far in your career/life. of course there are exceptions, but in every promotion i've seen in my work experience, the person who climbs has that special characteristic of being an excellent bullsh!tter.

[Emperor_Mike]

Sociability is quite important. You need to have people skills if you expect to climb up the corporate ladder.

[artsfartsyjanet]

I think I got my job in a corporate management team mainly because of my social and behavioral skills.

[AliBabaIncorporated]

IT is full of workers who haven't the slightest idea how to make small talk, and managers who got promoted up outta the way cuz they don't know how to do anything else but make small talk.

[Proud_Jook_Sing]

One of my major criticisms of public education and often overlooked by parents is this social skill factor. I grew up believing the meritocracy facade and it has hurt my career in ways I probably never realized.

I went to a so-called HS for the gifted that just emphasized grades which fit my parents objectives. The school was pretty good for turning out academics, doctors, and other back office workers but we rarely see captains of industry that some private schools consistently churn out. How hard would it have been to teach a little social etiquette and lecture about why social skills have an impact on your career?

I will generalize that most Asian immigrants do not understand the value of social skills in an American context. Westerners have a social framework just like say the Chinese do with their concept of guanxi but it appears different or Westerners appear too direct. Even among Westerners, probably the majority of people have also bought into the meritocracy facade and they joke about all the deals done on the back of a napkin.

I honestly do not think it is that different from Asian systems. Being well-rounded so you can relate to many other people's interests, retelling stories, using humor, empathy, and face time are pretty universal traits of a successful person all over the world.

If you want to be successful in America, I think we need to add social skills to our repetoire and impress upon our parents or relatives that is just as important as good grades. You may never EVER use calculus but you will ALWAYS need good social skills. Probably means the difference between a blue-collar/professional job and a white collar/professional job.

[Rogmok]

at the lowest level, presenting yourself as someone who is sociable and personable in an interview makes the interveiwer more apt to select you over someone else who doesn't possess those skills.

i also agree that is an important factor.. though i don't know if i'd go as far as to say its a MORE important factor than actually knowledge... maybe in some jobs, but not most.

[John0101]

what are "social skills"? Examples please?

[Proud_Jook_Sing]

Social skills that I think are highly underrated in terms of usefulness:

1) Smalltalk - Being able to discuss non-business related topics during awkward moments in conversation, i.e. yourself and others, their families and interests, sports, music, etc. You need to have or develop a broad number of interests. That's why business people play golf and go to the same gym, etc.

2) Networking and face time - just making the effort to say hello to everyone and remembering everyone's names, recalling previous conversations with people you've met before. It tells other people you were listening to them. Calling people up who you have not spoken to in awhile just to touch base.

3) Empathy - not an easy one. Requires maturity and objectivity to truly understand what another person is feeling and relating to it in a way that they believe you can understand them.

4) Facilitator - a leadership ability to act to facilitate conversation and interaction in a meeting and smooth over disagreements.

5) Social Etiquette - the dreaded --- which fork do I use, which way do you pass the bread, where do you put your napkin when you get up to use the bathroom, etc.

Being quiet is just not an option. You can tell the people who have good social skills will try to engage the quiet ones in conversation so they are not left out. You don't have to be an extrovert at all but it makes it easy. Introverted people who make the time to socialize will do very well.

[Proud_Jook_Sing]

Originally Posted by Rogmok

at the lowest level, presenting yourself as someone who is sociable and personable in an interview makes the interveiwer more apt to select you over someone else who doesn't possess those skills.

i also agree that is an important factor.. though i don't know if i'd go as far as to say its a MORE important factor than actually knowledge... maybe in some jobs, but not most.

If you want to be a manager or in sales or marketing social skills may be more important. i.e. if you manage alot of engineers you don't need to be technically expert but be able to understand the project at hand and drive everyone to accomplish the common goal (because inevitably everyone has their own ideas on how to do it.)

[John0101]

are managment looking for the nice guy who are clean cut and hard working?

[Me<--insonmiac]

I agree with you PSJ, communication is a valuable skill to have in the work place and in everday life. Many of my professors have told me that communication skills are just as important as your academic skills. Not only understanding the task at hand but being able to relay your thoughts and ideas to other people has become valuable assets.

That being said, Peopls skills can be developed just like academic skills. All it takes is time and practice, but it sounds alot easier than it seems. Being a quiet shy guy my whole life, i've never done well in group situations. I communicate better one-on-one or with a group of people I already know. lately i've been trying to be more outgoing by talking to my classmates, it hasn't been easy but hopefully the practice I get now will help me when I graduate

[sandra]

it's weird, but i communicate better in a group setting than one-on-one. i like socializing, but once the topic of the conversation is no longer work-related, legal, political, or philosophical stuff, i just kinda automatically shut off, because i don't really like sharing.

that actually has worked to my detriment, b/c ppl think i'm weird (i think).

[Chris]

My law firm not only looks for good grades but the firm also looks for good people skills. The firm entails a lot of associates and partners in their hiring of associates and our firm is known for it people skills and top of the line services they provide. (We have a lot of Fortune 500 as clients.) Most of us are hired due to our people skills and how we interacted with the firm. And it is that type of teamwork with the attornies and its staff that we have done so well. :)