My Wake Up Call

[kitty]

So... I just got back from Virginia yesterday -- I just spent the past two weeks near VA beach in my boyfriend's old neighbourhood. It was a really eye-opening experience. The area my boyfriend grew up in is predominantly middle-class African-American, a far cry from my upper middle class yuppie white/Asian neighbourhood in Toronto.

I've been to DC so it wasn't my first time being the ethnic minority, but it was disconcerting that I hardly saw ANY Asian faces -- and when I did, it was always in relation to Americanized Asian restaurants catering to the black and white populations.

I guess it really hit me that I was the true minority when I went to visit my bf's friend who lives literally in the projects. It was late at night but there was a little girl, about to turn 2, who was still awake. The friend's sister picked her up to play with her, and it was so weird -- the baby just kept staring at me... she wouldn't speak, but as I moved around the room she couldn't keep her eyes off me, and when I held her, she continued to watch me as I talked with people...

Later, my bf and I talked about it. He theorized that I might have been the first Asian person the girl had ever seen... It was like that throughout the trip. Sure, people were kinda unaccepting of the interracial thing, but a lot of people just stared at me because it was like they had never seen an Asian person hanging out in this all-black neighbourhood. There was also this weird fascination with my hair ("oh, it's sooo long, it's sooo shiny, etc...")

I guess we can say "Asians have it bad" all we want, but having grown up in an area where Asians were still more predominant than blacks, I had never understood what it's like to be the only person of a certain ethnicity in a lecture hall of 200... Just puts everything into perspective...

[SunWuKong]

I've been to DC so it wasn't my first time being the ethnic minority, but it was disconcerting that I hardly saw ANY Asian faces -- and when I did, it was always in relation to Americanized Asian restaurants catering to the black and white populations.

most Asian people are in the DC suburbs. Koreans and Vietnamese mostly in northern Virginia. Chinese mostly in Maryland. most of my friends here are actually Chinese.


I guess we can say "Asians have it bad" all we want, but having grown up in an area where Asians were still more predominant than blacks, I had never understood what it's like to be the only person of a certain ethnicity in a lecture hall of 200... Just puts everything into perspective...

well don't forget that many Asian people grow up in areas that have nowhere near the concentration of Asian people in Toronto. we are a diverse demographic.

[Ogumo]

A few weeks ago I went to harlem. This is a large black american area in new york. We got a few stares but nothing like what you have described. It was enjoyable. Not what I thought it would be like...

P.S. They probably were not used to asian hair? Or they just liked yours alot? I do not know. I have non asian people that always bother my hair. I even get a few asians that do it also. It gets to become annoying after many times.

[kitty]

I guess I just hadn't really understood how privileged I was until then... that environments are different and that the one I grew up in, my high school and my neighbourhood was about 70/30 white to Asian and that I'd never experienced being the sole minority... I guess I'm just trying to articulate how I had taken a certain level of comfort for granted and now I think I can better appreciate what it's like for people who weren't as lucky as I, or we, are.

Now I understand what it's like to be the only yellow face in a sea of white or black.

[SunWuKong]

I guess I just hadn't really understood how privileged I was until then... that environments are different and that the one I grew up in, my high school and my neighbourhood was about 70/30 white to Asian and that I'd never experienced being the sole minority... I guess I'm just trying to articulate how I had taken a certain level of comfort for granted and now I think I can better appreciate what it's like for people who weren't as lucky as I, or we, are.

Now I understand what it's like to be the only yellow face in a sea of white or black.


yeah it's a refreshing experience in a way. i spent most of my teens being the only Asian kid around. well there was that half-Filipino girl but the issue of us being Asian never surfaced in conversations so it hardly mattered. anyway, because of that, i think i have a good understanding of white people and white families. but if it was my own choice alone, i'd rather have spent those years with a large Asian population percentage.

[younggiftedandblack]

KG,

What part of Va. Beach were u in??? I ask because I grew up there and it has a very LARGE Fillipino population. It may have just been the areas you and your bf hung out.

[kitty]

KG,

What part of Va. Beach were u in??? I ask because I grew up there and it has a very LARGE Fillipino population. It may have just been the areas you and your bf hung out.

Hey really? Cool.... well... I wasn't actually at Va beach, but it's the nearest thing that most non-VA people will know... I was actually in Portsmouth. Cavalier Manor if you know it.

[younggiftedandblack]

Ok I see now why you didn't see any asian faces. LOL. Cavalier Manor use to be a housing project before they changed the area into middle class homes.

Yeah because of the large Naval population in Va. Beach there's a huge Fillipino presence there. You wouldn't feel like a minority for long.

[BeTheReds]

The staring thing is annoying isn't it.

[shy]

not exactly like kittygirl's experience but...

when i'm on a princess cruiseline, i get a lot of stares too. i found out that they just don't get many asians on board. in fact, each time i go, i might be one of the 2/3 chinese women onboard.

the crew is made up of different nationalities around the world.

do i mind the stares?

nah... not in this situation. i think their stares, in this case, is more flattering. they don't mean to offend me.

in fact, from what i gathered, most of them just wanted to get to know me (but they weren't pushy or piggish about it).

[younggiftedandblack]

Question.

Do most of you live in mostly asian communities? The only time I've ever been stared at was when I went to another country where many blacks didn't visit.

[SunWuKong]

Question.

Do most of you live in mostly asian communities? The only time I've ever been stared at was when I went to another country where many blacks didn't visit.


i don't live in an Asian community. most of the people around me are white, and my workplace is pretty diverse - but admittedly there aren't many black people there. less than half are white people, then mostly it's East Asians and Indians. in my immediate team of 13, i counted 6 that weren't born in this country. i live around mostly white people in my neighborhood, but there are enough Asian people around so that i'd hardly be the first or one of only few Asian people that they ever see.

[shy]

Question.

Do most of you live in mostly asian communities? The only time I've ever been stared at was when I went to another country where many blacks didn't visit.

toronto has a pretty high percentage of asians. where i live, is considered an asian community. and there are pockets of area where there's a lot of blacks too.

shit... we've got everyone! :)

[Ogumo]

Question.

Do most of you live in mostly asian communities? The only time I've ever been stared at was when I went to another country where many blacks didn't visit.

Yes the neighborhood that I live in is mostly koreans and chinese so yes. I visit china town quite frequently also. But most times that I get stared at is either at my job. (Nursing home) I guess older americans are not used to seeing asians? But if I pass through a black area that is usually when people will stare alot especially the very young ones or the children. When I pass into a white area people will stare but it is much less. I do not feel threatened...but I just ask myself "what the hell are these people looking at me for??"

[thaite]

Man, and I'm actually considering moving to the DC area.

Not a good sign.

[SunWuKong]

Man, and I'm actually considering moving to the DC area.

Not a good sign.



the Asian people in DC are all in the suburbs. and i think one of the Cafe Asias here is owned by Thai people. that's a restaurant. i know there are good looking Thai chicks at Busara. that's also a restaurant.

[MellowDrama]

going outside the boundaries of morningside heights of columbia sucked ass.

doing free clinic rotations in some clinic in harlem sucked bigger ass.

seriously, I walked all around uptown without getting harassed. No one stared. People just minded their own.

[BeTheReds]

I live near Tokyo...

[deez nuts]

seriously, I walked all around uptown without getting harassed. No one stared. People just minded their own.

it wasn't the stares.

[nonamerasian]

When I'm the true minority in areas, I get stared at sometimes, but ironically, it's not like I used to when I was a kid.

I get the occasional person who will look at me as if I'm about to assault them, but as a little kid, I remember there used to be more people who would grab their purses when I neared or do things like that, so I guess I got my wake up call at a young age.

Lately, I've been getting eyed way more when I'm in an urban area where I blend into the majority than in a rural area where I'm a clear minority.

It been happening for a couple of months now and I can't figure out why. It is as if I'm green with purple polka dots sometimes. The funny thing though, on a messageboard a couple of months ago, a White male was talking about walking through the urban neighborhood and saying that the people were staring at him and that it was because the people were racist and so forth. Well, perhaps, but if that were so, why do I get the same reaction?

In a way, that has taught me to be a little slower when reaching the conclusion that I'm being gawked based on race.

[mr. x]

well i had a wake up call not too long ago (about a week ago)

i was up in tahoe, and us being one of the rare asians around we were eating at Squaw Valley's new village they're building. So anyway theres a pizza shop and we eat there frequently when we go up to the village (we have a condo)

anyways this time the wait was extra long. basically the waitress would bring out a tray, then bring out a plate and, then bring out utensils (each trip a few minutes between) even though usually they serve the pizza with the tray and plates altogether. anyway none of the white families had to put up with such a long wait and this had us thinking the waitress singled us out. she acted nice and gave some (possibly bullshit tho MAYBE somewhat true) excuse about a backup in the kitchen.

well we ate outside so all we could see was that the whites were served relatively faster.

[mr. x]

anyway this is the worst ive ever had to deal with so im lucky really

[yoMAMA]

I've been to D.C couple years ago, and there are alot of african-americans.

[AngryABCGirl]

I've lived with thousadns of Asians all my life, so the first time I got the stare was in the boonies somewhere in Conneticut, where I'm assuming all the Asians there are in some form of boarding school, and continued through most of New England. I thought I was gonna get robbed or something until I realized they were just curious, and then it pissed me off.

[stunninglyAsian]

I'm used to the stares and all that, since I'm from the home of KFC. I can shock people just by walking into a restaurant, I get a lot of attention.

I always thought it was because I was so good looking...

[Napoleon Chynamite]

I'm used to the stares and all that, since I'm from the home of KFC. I can shock people just by walking into a restaurant, I get a lot of attention.

I always thought it was because I was so good looking...

I actually get more stares from Asian people than anybody else. I dunno why that is. It's like 'hey look, it's another Asian guy, let's stare him down' or something like that *shrug*

[nonamerasian]

I actually get more stares from Asian people than anybody else. I dunno why that is. It's like 'hey look, it's another Asian guy, let's stare him down' or something like that *shrug*

My Asian friends from areas where there aren't many Asians tend to do that.

They also can count how many Asians there are in a particular area with impeccable speed.

[ChinaLama]

I actually get more stares from Asian people than anybody else. I dunno why that is. It's like 'hey look, it's another Asian guy, let's stare him down' or something like that *shrug*

it's cuz you're actually whitilicious.

[Deadpool]

I live in Vancouver. White people are a minority. Never gets stares. Not even when I go to the outskirts. Well I used to get stares when I was younger from other teen Asian guys who thought they were uber gangster thugs.

[golden_buns]

Some of my friends that grew up in places where they were one of the very few asians around and then moved to cities or countries where there's a lot of asians say that they couldn't stand going back to a place where there's almost no asians.

I've started to feel the same way after having been in LA and then Korea.

[Craig]

Some of my friends that grew up in places where they were one of the very few asians around and then moved to cities or countries where there's a lot of asians say that they couldn't stand going back to a place where there's almost no asians.

I've started to feel the same way after having been in LA and then Korea.
All else being equal in the job front, I would choose some place like Austin over California. For me, the cost of living is a more significant factor than the mere presence of other Asians. On the other hand, I would rather live in a more expensive place like Tokyo, over living in Texas.

[golden_buns]

All else being equal in the job front, I would choose some place like Austin over California. For me, the cost of living is a more significant factor than the mere presence of other Asians. On the other hand, I would rather live in a more expensive place like Tokyo, over living in Texas.

Well, at least there's some significant asian population in Austin cuz of UT, but would you go to a place like Lubbock, Armadillo, or Forth Worth?
Anyways, a more extreme case is a friend who moved from Sydney to Seoul just because she needed to be in a place where there were more asians.

[Craig]

Well, at least there's some significant asian population in Austin cuz of UT, but would you go to a place like Lubbock, Armadillo, or Forth Worth?
Anyways, a more extreme case is a friend who moved from Sydney to Seoul just because she needed to be in a place where there were more asians.
Actually I lived in Austin starting in 1983, when the Asian presence was much lower. I would definitely choose working in Fort Worth over California, and probably those other places also. Granted in Lubbock or Armarillo, I would probably take the first opportunity possible to get a job in the Dallas area, but still.

Being around other Asians is a definite advantage, but over here in California the only benefits I see are easier access to Asian food. It doesn't help if you have lots of Asians, but most are bashing on each other group and blindly following the values of the American media, culture and ideals. I am sometimes sick of the baggage, divisiveness, hate, hypocrisy, etc.

[mr. x]

Actually I lived in Austin starting in 1983, when the Asian presence was much lower. I would definitely choose working in Fort Worth over California, and probably those other places also. Granted in Lubbock or Armarillo, I would probably take the first opportunity possible to get a job in the Dallas area, but still.

Being around other Asians is a definite advantage, but over here in California the only benefits I see are easier access to Asian food. It doesn't help if you have lots of Asians, but most are bashing on each other group and blindly following the values of the American media, culture and ideals. I am sometimes sick of the baggage, divisiveness, hate, hypocrisy, etc.

say what high school'd u go to?

[Craig]

say what high school'd u go to?
Westlake

[golden_buns]

Westlake

U snob

[Craig]

U snobnerd

[mr. x]

what's westlake? never heard of it, private school i assume? i went to lynbrook, which is basically for elitists who dont wanna spend private school dollar$

[golden_buns]

what's westlake? never heard of it, private school i assume? i went to lynbrook, which is basically for elitists who dont wanna spend private school dollar$

Westlake is the same