Asian and non-Asian family dynamics [Archive]

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kimpossible

07-28-2003, 09:46 AM

Wow. I think my father and father-in-law are going to meet for the first time next year. My dad is like big redneck Nascar-loving Irish cop. My father in law is Tai Chi master wuxia reading fob professor. My mother met my in-laws and that went well but my dad... *gulp*.

Any of you have some stories for comfort?

RasFarengi

07-28-2003, 10:02 AM

Well I don't have kids, but I have Asian in-laws.

Wife's family

My conversational Japanese sucks. I can use up my entire vocab in about 5-10 minutes, depending on how simple the conversation is...my wife's parents speak no English...well almost most none, my mother in-law can read a little if I write a simple sentence on a peice of paper, but she can't understand a word that comes out of my mouth. Her mother's answer to that is to eat. She always make a lot of food, procedes to explain everything to me about the food, but I don' t know what she is saying. :huh: Oh and her mother thinks I look like Michael Jordan.
;)
Father-inlaw, well he just likes to drink, beer, sake, shochu (Soju in Korean), and anything else when he is at home, so he can forget about the fact that he had no sons and 3 daughter plus a wife and mother in the house for years (no wonder he never smiled in pictures...too many women in the house :) ). He likes baseball, Sumo, and pro wrestling (pro wres), Pride (like Ultimate Fighting), so we usually watch some sports, we don't talk much...but then again he doesn't talk much. (Strong silent type)

His mom(grandma) lives with them too...She is pretty much racist, and she just stares at me and says something racist when she thinks I can't hear her. :rolleyes: Father-in law always says in Japanese, "Don't worry, she is getting used to it." :rolleyes: She especially likes to remind everyone I am "big and black" and our kids might be too dark so they should not be in the sun when they are small, and if we straighten their hair, with luck they might look Japanese. :pissed: :pissed: She also says things like, "Your kids will be half, so it is sad they will never speak Japanese well." :angry: She is like 85 years old though

Her two sisters are cool, we get along, her older sis went to college here too, so she can speak English (kind of)...and we all used to go out and get wasted once a month when I lived in Tokyo.

Guess it could be worse.

My family

My family loves my wife, but we had one incident with my American grandfather. He felt is necessary the first time he met my wife (fiancee at the time) to tell her how he fought in Okinawa in WWII, and how Japanese people were crazy jumping off cliffs, and how he got blew up (tripped a booby trap, woke up in Hawaii a few weeks later)...he kept using the term "Jap..." but he also says "Krauts" still.. :( Oh well he is 80 years old, he is not going to change. My wife didn't take too much offense. Everyone else likes her...some of my Aunts think she is too skinny and needs to eat more, and she is too quiet, but that's about it. They say the same thing about me. haha..(well not the quiet, but the skinny). :)

BeTheReds

07-28-2003, 11:44 AM

Just let your dad be your dad.

Hopefully they won't see his bad qualities as a reflection of you.

I don't have any comparable stories cuz my grandpa was either killed or ran away to north korea during the korean war and my grandma met my mom's parents only once, at the wedding.

Tho one interesting story does come to mind... when I was dating a chinese girl and my mom went to pick me up at her house.  And her mom and my mom began talking and her mom was asking all these questions like what is your plan for Eugene's future.. and stuff.  And my mom was like.. he can be what he wants to be, I can't plan his life for him.  Her mom didn't really like that answer.

Hiroshi2

07-28-2003, 12:30 PM

All I can tell you is good luck HH............I can't imagine what it would be like if my parents' family met......I can't even imagine what it'd be like if my mom's family saw our little black faces..........

RasFarengi

07-28-2003, 12:34 PM

I can't even imagine what it'd be like if my mom's family saw our little black faces..........

You have never met your mother's family?  Was your mother born in  American or  in Japan?

Hiroshi2

07-28-2003, 01:18 PM

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (RasFarengi @ Jul 28 2003, 02:34 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> I can't even imagine what it'd be like if my mom's family saw our little black faces..........

You have never met your mother's family? Was your mother born in American or in Japan? [/b][/quote]
My mother was born in Japan. I met my grandmother when I was about 18 months old......but of course I don't really have a recollection of that. Other than that, no I haven't met them before. I really have no idea if my father has met them before either.

RasFarengi

07-28-2003, 01:29 PM

Hiroshi

How did your parents meet?

Hiroshi2

07-28-2003, 02:25 PM

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (RasFarengi @ Jul 28 2003, 03:29 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> Hiroshi

How did your parents meet? [/b][/quote]
My mother is from Okinawa, my father was in the military, I'm sure you know the rest.

Hiroshi2

07-28-2003, 03:30 PM

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (RasFarengi @ Jul 28 2003, 12:02 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> Well I don't have kids, but I have Asian in-laws.

Wife's family

My conversational Japanese sucks. I can use up my entire vocab in about 5-10 minutes, depending on how simple the conversation is...my wife's parents speak no English...well almost most none, my mother in-law can read a little if I write a simple sentence on a peice of paper, but she can't understand a word that comes out of my mouth. Her mother's answer to that is to eat. She always make a lot of food, procedes to explain everything to me about the food, but I don' t know what she is saying. :huh: Oh and her mother thinks I look like Michael Jordan.
;)
Father-inlaw, well he just likes to drink, beer, sake, shochu (Soju in Korean), and anything else when he is at home, so he can forget about the fact that he had no sons and 3 daughter plus a wife and mother in the house for years (no wonder he never smiled in pictures...too many women in the house :) ). He likes baseball, Sumo, and pro wrestling (pro wres), Pride (like Ultimate Fighting), so we usually watch some sports, we don't talk much...but then again he doesn't talk much. (Strong silent type)

His mom(grandma) lives with them too...She is pretty much racist, and she just stares at me and says something racist when she thinks I can't hear her. :rolleyes: Father-in law always says in Japanese, "Don't worry, she is getting used to it." :rolleyes: She especially likes to remind everyone I am "big and black" and our kids might be too dark so they should not be in the sun when they are small, and if we straighten their hair, with luck they might look Japanese. :pissed: :pissed: She also says things like, "Your kids will be half, so it is sad they will never speak Japanese well." :angry: She is like 85 years old though

Her two sisters are cool, we get along, her older sis went to college here too, so she can speak English (kind of)...and we all used to go out and get wasted once a month when I lived in Tokyo.

Guess it could be worse.

My family

My family loves my wife, but we had one incident with my American grandfather. He felt is necessary the first time he met my wife (fiancee at the time) to tell her how he fought in Okinawa in WWII, and how Japanese people were crazy jumping off cliffs, and how he got blew up (tripped a booby trap, woke up in Hawaii a few weeks later)...he kept using the term "Jap..." but he also says "Krauts" still.. :( Oh well he is 80 years old, he is not going to change. My wife didn't take too much offense. Everyone else likes her...some of my Aunts think she is too skinny and needs to eat more, and she is too quiet, but that's about it. They say the same thing about me. haha..(well not the quiet, but the skinny). :) [/b][/quote]
That's about what I'd expect to hear (as far as the comments from both sides of your family). It was interesting hearing about it.

YuheiCarreau

07-28-2003, 03:58 PM

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Hiroshi2 @ Jul 28 2003, 05:25 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> </div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (RasFarengi @ Jul 28 2003, 03:29 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> Hiroshi

How did your parents meet? [/b][/quote]
My mother is from Okinawa, my father was in the military, I'm sure you know the rest. [/b][/quote]
So is your mother Okinawan, or Japanese? Does she speak standard Japanese, Okinawan dialect, or the Okinawan language?

Hiroshi2

07-28-2003, 04:28 PM

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (YuheiCarreau @ Jul 28 2003, 05:58 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> </div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Hiroshi2 @ Jul 28 2003, 05:25 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> </div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (RasFarengi @ Jul 28 2003, 03:29 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> Hiroshi

How did your parents meet? [/b][/quote]
My mother is from Okinawa, my father was in the military, I'm sure you know the rest. [/b][/quote]
So is your mother Okinawan, or Japanese? Does she speak standard Japanese, Okinawan dialect, or the Okinawan language? [/b][/quote]

She speaks Japanese and the Okinawan language. She may speak Japanese with an Okinawan dialect, I have no clue.

She is Okinawan but lived in Tokyo for several years.

YuheiCarreau

07-28-2003, 04:42 PM

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Hiroshi2 @ Jul 28 2003, 07:28 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> </div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (YuheiCarreau @ Jul 28 2003, 05:58 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> </div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Hiroshi2 @ Jul 28 2003, 05:25 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> </div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (RasFarengi @ Jul 28 2003, 03:29 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> Hiroshi

How did your parents meet? [/b][/quote]
My mother is from Okinawa, my father was in the military, I'm sure you know the rest. [/b][/quote]
So is your mother Okinawan, or Japanese? Does she speak standard Japanese, Okinawan dialect, or the Okinawan language? [/b][/quote]

She speaks Japanese and the Okinawan language. She may speak Japanese with an Okinawan dialect, I have no clue.

She is Okinawan but lived in Tokyo for several years. [/b][/quote]
If she lived in Tokyo she probably spoke standard Japanese and spoke the other two at home. Only Kansai people are really aggressive about preserving their dialect while living in Tokyo.

RasFarengi

07-29-2003, 09:35 AM

Hiroshi2:

do you speak any dialect of Japanese?

BeTheReds

07-29-2003, 09:55 AM

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (RasFarengi @ Jul 30 2003, 01:35 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> Hiroshi2:

do you speak any dialect of Japanese? [/b][/quote]
Again, I am not a mod, but.

Ras, I'm very glad that you are interested in Japanese people and people who have been to or are in Japan.  That's great.

But can you please stop hijacking threads which have other purposes to talk about these things?  This thread is about non-Asian families meeting Asian ones, not Hiroshi's mother's dialect, and not his ability to speak said dialect.  And not about how his parents met.

This isn't the first time I've noticed you doing this.  If you want to know these kinds of things, please start a new thread or PM him.

I don't mean any ill feelings tho. :D

RasFarengi

07-29-2003, 10:42 AM

Geez...okay...hope they have Man-Midol in Saitama. <_<  Anal reti....son of....

Hiroshi2

07-29-2003, 04:46 PM

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (BeTheReds @ Jul 29 2003, 11:55 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> </div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (RasFarengi @ Jul 30 2003, 01:35 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> Hiroshi2:

do you speak any dialect of Japanese? [/b][/quote]
Again, I am not a mod, but.

Ras, I'm very glad that you are interested in Japanese people and people who have been to or are in Japan. That's great.

But can you please stop hijacking threads which have other purposes to talk about these things? This thread is about non-Asian families meeting Asian ones, not Hiroshi's mother's dialect, and not his ability to speak said dialect. And not about how his parents met.

This isn't the first time I've noticed you doing this. If you want to know these kinds of things, please start a new thread or PM him.

I don't mean any ill feelings tho. :D [/b][/quote]
I apologize, it's partly my fault too. I have to admit I forgot what the original topic was about. Sorry, everbody! :)