I got a problem

[CruX]

Well unfortunately for me my gf and my best friend HATE each other. I dont know what i should do because i cant even mention the other person's name around any of them, otherwise they get mad at each other.
Both want to hang out with me BOTH nights of the weekend when i have free time. and its frustraiting because i usally spend fri nights with my bro and sat nights with my gurl, and just one night isnt enough for both of them.

ANY advice would be helpful. thank in advance

:frown:

[mr. x]

could we get some details on why they are angry?

here's the dear abby (or whatever her name is) response: what you need right now is conseling, and if they wont go, go alone

[CruX]

they are angry for competition for my tume to hang out

[sOKaLiBoY]

i've been in this kinda situation before. i ended up having to choose one over the other. so i ended up loosing my gf over my bro. it was hard but i had to do it. there was NO way in the world that both could co-exist.

[mr. x]

crux u must be one cool guy

[Emperor_Mike]

Why don't the three of you go out and do something together? Start doing things as a small group and perhaps they'll get to know each other well enough to avoid these problems.

But...if it doesn't work and both are unwilling to come to a compromise, you'll have to make a list pros and cons, I guess. How long have you been with your girlfriend? How long have you known your best friend? What are their best qualities? Worst qualities? Is a girl worth losing a good friend over? Is your friend worth losing a girl over? So many questions, so many answers. It'd be ideal if you can have your cake and eat it too, but if best friend and girlfriend don't see eye to eye, you'll have to choose who to go with.

[bankuei]

Hey C,

I don't think there's a easy-solve answer. I mean, when other people are tripping, there's not much that you can do to fix it until they decide to stop tripping(see Israel/Palestine). Aside from the obvious choice of splitting your time, if it ever comes down to one or the other, I'd go for the homey over the girl.

Why? It usually takes some serious stuff for a friend to bounce on you. Relationships? Well, folks get bored, people look elsewhere, they trip out, they move away, they break up after an argument or two, etc.

But, I'd just be like, "This is my homey, this is my girl, you don't have to like each other, but you have to accept that I like this person and just leave it alone. As long as y'all can't get along, understand I'm going to split my time. Deal."

Chris

[Uncle Tat]

Have an orgy. Problem solved.

[CruX]

:frown: ayyhhyaa! :unsure: like you guys said if it ever really comes down to it, im going to have to pick my bro. but im goign to try that suggestion of asking if they will accpect each other. they should be mature enough to do atleast that. thanks guys

[tommyhtown]

dude, your friend should understand that chics come an go unless it's the one.

I used to worry about his shit when I was young. My homies would give me the hard time about hanging with my girl and all that. Bascially, they were jealous 'cause they got nobody. Shoot I wasn't about to take them out my date either. Your friend should deal with it.

[angel nympho]

Dump your girlfriend.

Dicks before chicks.


A good girlfriend will understand that a man needs some time to hang out with his friends and wouldn't get all pissy over it.

[tommyhtown]

^ :lol:

She also understansd that watching sports is more important than spending quality time with her.

[angel nympho]

Originally posted by tommyhtown@Jun 30 2003, 04:35 AM
^ :lol:

She also understansd that watching sports is more important than spending quality time with her.
Oh, okay, well I'm not saying you should DITCH your chick for your friends... I'm just saying if this girl is freakishly obsessed to the point where you are not able to DIVIDE your time between your friends and your girl evenly, she's too clingly. And you don't want any of that fatal attraction type shit going on, do you? The kind of women who don't understand that guys aren't about to drop their lives to hang out with you at your whim are the kind of women who become the regulating ball and chain later on in life.

[yumpop]

exactly....if your gf is too immature to understand, dump her. i wouldn't want my bf to ditch his friends and end up having no friends.

[Chester]

Originally posted by angel nympho@Jun 29 2003, 08:41 PM
Oh, okay, well I'm not saying you should DITCH your chick for your friends... I'm just saying if this girl is freakishly obsessed to the point where you are not able to DIVIDE your time between your friends and your girl evenly, she's too clingly.
Yup. Bros before Hos.

Not as simple as that, but when this situation comes about, it's usually the girlfriend who's being too clingy, and rarely the friend.

Usually, if you've been friends with someone for a long time, there are big reasons why that's the case. It should make you wonder why someone you're close friends with cannot get along with your girlfriend.

Of course, maybe he's a clingy bitch. If so, then you should ditch him regardless of what you do with the girlfriend.

[Fireblade]

Originally posted by bankuei@Jun 29 2003, 07:05 PM
Hey C,

I don't think there's a easy-solve answer. I mean, when other people are tripping, there's not much that you can do to fix it until they decide to stop tripping(see Israel/Palestine). Aside from the obvious choice of splitting your time, if it ever comes down to one or the other, I'd go for the homey over the girl.

Why? It usually takes some serious stuff for a friend to bounce on you. Relationships? Well, folks get bored, people look elsewhere, they trip out, they move away, they break up after an argument or two, etc.

But, I'd just be like, "This is my homey, this is my girl, you don't have to like each other, but you have to accept that I like this person and just leave it alone. As long as y'all can't get along, understand I'm going to split my time. Deal."

Chris
That is by far the best response I've heard. I remember a situation like that with one of my friends. The thing is... if the friend is just acting like a bitch... well then you gotta do what Mike said and write a pros and cons list... because sometimes your friends can become asses at the right moment. And she could be that person to trigger it.

But yea, I would be up front about my discomfort with having to deal with time between the two. You aren't some football to be passed around. Learn to live and deal that people sometimes need to spend time other people. Not one single person is THAT important.

[mrazntre]

sounds like the problem that EVERY man has...


and if your best friend is a girl... d00d.. you're asking for even more problems.


I don't think there's any real solution, just find a compatible girlfriend.

[kayla]

Originally posted by mrazntre@Jul 4 2003, 04:53 PM
and if your best friend is a girl... d00d.. you're asking for even more problems.
I have this problem too. i'm the best friend.

It's really weird. It doesnt matter how nice I am to her, she just doesnt like me. I would constantly catch her giving me dirty looks when I'm supposedly unaware.

But I'm totally cool with it cuz I know he would choose me over her anyday if i asked him to choose.

[angel nympho]

It's just my opinion that nobody knows who is compatable for you more than your friends (okay, besides yourself.. sometimes...)... and if your friend sees something in this girl that rubs him/her the wrong way, your friend is probably right. The reason I say this is because your friend has a much more objective view of this girl than you do (all with your love-blinders on and shit...) and can see a more truth behind the girl. After all, she isn't trying to impress your FRIEND.. just you.

[teaz0r]

i make my boyfriend stop hanging out with all his friends. especially the ones with vaginas.

[Fireblade]

Originally posted by teaz0r@Jul 10 2003, 12:50 AM
i make my boyfriend stop hanging out with all his friends. especially the ones with vaginas.
:cry: ur mean.

[mrazntre]

Originally posted by kayla@Jul 10 2003, 06:59 AM
I have this problem too. i'm the best friend.

It's really weird. It doesnt matter how nice I am to her, she just doesnt like me. I would constantly catch her giving me dirty looks when I'm supposedly unaware.

But I'm totally cool with it cuz I know he would choose me over her anyday if i asked him to choose.
don't be so sure, you're not the one giving him head....

[kwalan]

<!--QuoteBegin-teaz0r+Jul 10 2003, 12:50 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (teaz0r @ Jul 10 2003, 12:50 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> i make my boyfriend stop hanging out with all his friends. especially the ones with vaginas. [/b][/quote]
that's cause you're worth it.

[BeTheReds]

Bros before hos

[teaz0r]

<!--QuoteBegin-kwalan+Jul 16 2003, 11:10 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (kwalan @ Jul 16 2003, 11:10 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> that's cause you're worth it. [/b][/quote]
!!!! and you have good instincts!
smooch!

[DragonKnight]

<!--QuoteBegin-BeTheReds+Aug 2 2003, 06:29 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (BeTheReds @ Aug 2 2003, 06:29 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Bros before hos [/b][/quote]
Amen ta dat.