Why do women hate each other?

[achtungbaby]

Have at it!

[angelnympho]

i just dont get along with girls. girls have a tendency to be pretty condescending and bitchy towards other girls, but all nice and cute towards guys. *rolls eyes* i try to get along with them when its possible, but if they're not nice to me (which they usually arent) then i dont bother.

[DaBestSpooner]

cus they cant have the Biz!

Hollah!

[sandra]

[quote:8d07c203ed="angelnympho"]i just dont get along with girls. girls have a tendency to be pretty condescending and bitchy towards other girls, but all nice and cute towards guys. *rolls eyes* i try to get along with them when its possible, but if they're not nice to me (which they usually arent) then i dont bother.[/quote:8d07c203ed]

that's true. read what i wrote and see if you think it is consistent with what you're saying.

[tapestrybabe]

[quote:67b61cc92c="angelnympho"]i just dont get along with girls. girls have a tendency to be pretty condescending and bitchy towards other girls[/quote:67b61cc92c]

i guess you can see it that way.. how girls can be harsh on other girls. But for the most part... i get a long better with girls just in terms of being able to express my feelings, and talking about girls stuff and all that. Like.... when i had guy problems.. i ran to my mother and sister... i didn't run to my dad. cuz i feel females can relate to other females when it comes to certain stuff..

but oh wellz, its all cool if you get along better with guys than girls.. i guess i'm just different... i dunno..

[princess]

girls in general tend to be more catty and dramatic about things -- theyre juss more emotional than guys. i dont hate em for it, but i wish theyd be more straight up with things. i myself have a bad history of friendships with girls simply because i approach things like a guy would. still, i dont write em off the second i see em...i try to give everyone a chance. the girls that i am closest friends with today are the ones that i went through some hardship through. nothing like a nasty situation to bring two people together.

[achtungbaby]

[quote:fe8e30d58d="kasia"]but in situations where there is a collective conscience of the subordination, the need to seek approval from guys almost immediately disappears. but the conscience is still very elusive.[/quote:fe8e30d58d]

I like how you put that, an elusive collective conscience. And I agree 100%.

Throwing everything else out the window for a brief moment, do you think that men are to blame for that desire in women to seek their approval? Sometimes I just think we like what we like and put very little thought into it (like most things), but are left with the unfortunate consequences of having unwittingly pitted hussy against hussy.

[angelnympho]

sometimes i talk to girls about my guy problems, but if you really think about it... who'd be better at giving advice on what to do about your boy than another boy? *shrug* and girls never really say exactly what's on their minds the way guys do. i just have trust issues with girls more than guys... if a girl doesnt like you, she still acts like your best friend n then goes back and talks mad shit.. if a guy doesnt like you, he just tells you to go away.

[sandra]

[quote:f6844585e6="angelnympho"]if a girl doesnt like you, she still acts like your best friend n then goes back and talks mad shit.. if a guy doesnt like you, he just tells you to go away.[/quote:f6844585e6]

that's true. but that just goes to the initial animosity that we feel towards one another as a result of the subordination.

[angelnympho]

yeah... i have a lot of reasons as to why i get along better with guys than with girls. but when it really comes down to it, i like playing video games more than i like doing my nails. so *shrug* a boy will play video games with me.

my best friend's a girl, though.... its hard to find a loyal girl to be friends with, but when you do, its totally awesome.

[princess]

[quote:8666145e44="angelnympho"]yeah... i have a lot of reasons as to why i get along better with guys than with girls. but when it really comes down to it, i like playing video games more than i like doing my nails. so *shrug* a boy will play video games with me.

my best friend's a girl, though.... its hard to find a loyal girl to be friends with, but when you do, its totally awesome.[/quote:8666145e44]

haha yep i can identify

[sandra]

but the question was why women hate each other. not why we prefer to have male friends.

[princess]

haha sorry! tangent tangent

[angelnympho]

[quote:6fb67a684a="kasia"]but the question was why women hate each other. not why we prefer to have male friends.[/quote:6fb67a684a]
competition.

[sandra]

<!--QuoteBegin-angelnympho+--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (angelnympho)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--><!--QuoteBegin-kasia+--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (kasia)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->but the question was why women hate each other. not why we prefer to have male friends.[/b][/quote]
competition.[/b][/quote]

obvy. i'm finding that you have trouble reading. :wink:

[inkpainter]

i had to really think about this one before i posted, because i don't really hate other women...

i enjoy intelligent conversation, sometimes even stupid-fun conversation, i think what is offensive...is when another woman, for her own insecure reasons, tries to belittle or verbally abuse another woman in public...then i think i would go out of my way to take up for the underdog...and dis da bitch...in public of course...other than that i think as women, as my motto goes "we have to watch each other's back". There are glass ceilings in business, domestic issues to help each other through, just to be each others support and encouragement...life's tough enough...

[angelnympho]

<!--QuoteBegin-kasia+--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (kasia)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--><!--QuoteBegin-angelnympho+--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (angelnympho)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--><!--QuoteBegin-kasia+--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (kasia)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->but the question was why women hate each other.&nbsp; not why we prefer to have male friends.[/b][/quote]
competition.[/b][/quote]

obvy.&nbsp; i'm finding that you have trouble reading.&nbsp; :wink:[/b][/quote]

?? i answered your question.&nbsp; i hate on other girls because they're competition to me.

[karizma]

>> not that i dont like other girls...just the fact that the personalities of a lot of them dont really click with mine. im making a conscious effort to try and make more girl friends but its hard to find one that i can really get close to. i have a natural distrust for girls since the past has led me to believe that the same gender is more prone to backstabbing you or becoming envious than the opposite.

>> also...i really cant relate to some girls since im pretty much a guy stuck in a girls body. i act more male than female [i just dont look it]...i am a super car freak, i watch sports, i dont spend hours preening myself, and i could care less about what he said she said about her when he found her in her bed with another guy =/...maybe im just stereotyping here but ive met very few girls who break the mold. dont get me wrong i have my girl friends and i love them dearly because theyre like meeee...

>> girls hate girls because theyre competition for guys.
>> girls hate girls because theyre jealous
>> girls hate girls because they just dont like the way another girl looks.
>> girls hate girls because theyre insecure...causing the jealousy...which leads to hate yada yada...yknow where im getting =/

>> btw...airheads bug the crap out of me. :D

[princess]

[quote:7eb891282a="karizma"]

>> btw...airheads bug the crap out of me. :D[/quote:7eb891282a]

yeah girly girls and airheads bother me. someone shoot me if i ever become one.

haha im juss like karizma...sometimes i think i was meant to be a guy even tho i look very feminine, which is part of the reason one of my nicknames is princess.

[achtungbaby]

Sounds like the general consensus amongst the women so far has been "anti-girly."&nbsp; You might each individually be surprised to find other females who share these same sentiments -- who think that most other girls are haters, that it's so much easier to get along with guys then deal with jealous girly-girlies -- but lemme tell ya, none of this is by accident.

So here's my simplistic attempt at a curve ball: who are you trying to impress -- the guys or girls?&nbsp; Whose favor would you rather court?&nbsp; Do you think there's a correlation between your interests and the typical interests of other guys?&nbsp;

IMHO, I think these are important questions for females to ask themselves.&nbsp; I'm not some bleeding-heart male feminist, but from my own personal observations, I think women grow through some type of very bizarro socialization process during the teen and early adult years -- and more often than not, it's a process that ultimately benefits guys like me (yay!:P) and leaves most girls bitter from relationships and/or alone.

[foolishgirl]

one word:

insecurity

[LilCPChik]

itz either another gurl or a guy N guyz have problems wit bitchy gurls..

[sandra]

<!--QuoteBegin-achtungbaby+--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (achtungbaby)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Sounds like the general consensus amongst the women so far has been "anti-girly."&nbsp; You might each individually be surprised to find other females who share these same sentiments -- who think that most other girls are haters, that it's so much easier to get along with guys then deal with jealous girly-girlies -- but lemme tell ya, none of this is by accident.
&nbsp;
So here's my simplistic attempt at a curve ball: who are you trying to impress -- the guys or girls?&nbsp; Whose favor would you rather court?&nbsp; Do you think there's a correlation between your interests and the typical interests of other guys?&nbsp;

IMHO, I think these are important questions for females to ask themselves.&nbsp; I'm not some bleeding-heart male feminist, but from my own personal observations, I think women grow through some type of very bizarro socialization process during the teen and early adult years -- and more often than not, it's a process that ultimately benefits guys like me (yay!:P) and leaves most girls bitter from relationships and/or alone.[/b][/quote]

word.&nbsp; :wink:

i think a lot of it is based on preconceptions.&nbsp; i have a lot of girl friends, and almost all like video games, are lakers fans, and talk in normal (opposed to annoying baby) voices.&nbsp; true, almost all of them also care a lot about their looks, are pretentious, enjoy gossiping, etc.--but the guys are no different.&nbsp; when it comes down to it, guys are girls are very similar.

but when we're younger--e.g., high school--i can see how it's more important for us girls to impress the guys, and hence the "i'm-different-from-the-other-whiny-girls" attitude. it's natural.

[deez nuts]

Women are ruthless!

[inkpainter]

k...i totally agree...as you get past the superficial, who am syndrome you experience in your teens and early adulthood, you tend to look past that as you get older and can admire another woman for her strengths and opinions as opposed to feeling threatened by them.

[karizma]

>> ok ok i agree with AB and inkpainter on this one...i admit i pass most my judgements based on preconceptions and dont exactly take the time to discover who they really are...but lately the girls ive met and found to be quite nice always turned out to have a continuous facade...the people who really know them tell me that they're fake and whatnot...now what am i supposed to think when i hear this? but yea...i do like girls...i like how i can peruse malls without them whining...i like how i can have dinner with them and not have to worry about whether i should give them a goodnight kiss, i just hate envy and the dirty stares i get when i walk around its very annoying.

[princess]

well this topic is kinda broad anyway. i dont hate ALL girls, but of course there are some that i wasnt made to get along with. when i think of why i might hate girls i automatically zoom in on the worst qualities of those certain females that i so dislike.

[sandra]

*bump*

[LeahLe]

A woman "hating" another woman because contradictly she admires the ways of that person. Unconciously, she feels inferior and fears being challenged by other females. She hates another female because she is jealous of what she doesn't have and has a desire to be like that person. So the equation would be like this:

Fear=dislike=hatred

This may be a stereotypical remark towards Asian women, but I find that this notion of hatred among ourselves are much higher compared to white females. Jealousy among us yellow females are very obvious.

[kimpossible]

Hmm. I always felt like an equal opportunity hater. I'm usually attracted to friendships with confident people because I like to kick back and relax with folks without any competition. Of my closest friends, the majority are female.

Maybe I can't relate as much because I'm not very Asian???

[SunWuKong]

i don't know why women hate each other, but i love women. especially those chinese speaking hapa ones.

[Hanuman]

It's funny that from a guys point of view (well mine anyway) it seems as if the girls that spend more time with guy friends then girl friends are always the most fun. They seem to also be the type of girls less likely to be looking for a relationship.

[SunWuKong]

you know what's fucked up is how some girls can have ex-friends. like, people that used to be their friends but who they don't want to be friends with any longer. i don't think either me or any guys i know can stay angry at someone indefinitely.

[angel nympho]

^-- But betrayal is a lot different with girls than with boys. Girls get hurt, DEEP when another of their girls betrays them.

[deez nuts]

Girl fights rock!

[not-a-twinkie?]

Originally posted by angel nympho@Nov 12 2002, 02:14 PM
^-- But betrayal is a lot different with girls than with boys. &nbsp;Girls get hurt, DEEP when another of their girls betrays them.
...very well said...

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by angel nympho@Nov 12 2002, 05:14 PM
^-- But betrayal is a lot different with girls than with boys. Girls get hurt, DEEP when another of their girls betrays them.
is it just betrayal in general? or is it really a case-by-case thing?

[angel nympho]

Originally posted by SunWuKung@Nov 12 2002, 10:54 PM
Originally posted by angel nympho@Nov 12 2002, 05:14 PM
^-- But betrayal is a lot different with girls than with boys. &nbsp;Girls get hurt, DEEP when another of their girls betrays them.
is it just betrayal in general? or is it really a case-by-case thing?
Betrayal in general is the WORST thing you can do to a woman. And no, it's not on a case by case basis.

[Hanuman]

Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Nov 12 2002, 10:37 PM
Girl fights rock!
Oh yeah! There was one at the bar the other night. Some tiny little 22 year old and an older woman (late 30's maybe) both were pretty cute. They were really going at it. We were all like 'please, rip a blouse, please!!!).

[deez nuts]

Originally posted by Tawee@Nov 12 2002, 07:17 PM
Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Nov 12 2002, 10:37 PM
Girl fights rock!
Oh yeah! There was one at the bar the other night. Some tiny little 22 year old and an older woman (late 30's maybe) both were pretty cute. They were really going at it. We were all like 'please, rip a blouse, please!!!).
Yes and women when they fight, they fight dirtier than guys!

And how long did you fellas wait before you broke it up =]

[coagulated fat]

<!--QuoteBegin-achtungbaby+Jul 3 2002, 11:38 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (achtungbaby @ Jul 3 2002, 11:38 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Sounds like the general consensus amongst the women so far has been "anti-girly."&nbsp; You might each individually be surprised to find other females who share these same sentiments -- who think that most other girls are haters, that it's so much easier to get along with guys then deal with jealous girly-girlies -- but lemme tell ya, [i:6bf41a0f7a]none of this is by accident.[/i:6bf41a0f7a]

So here's my simplistic attempt at a curve ball: who are you trying to impress -- the guys or girls?&nbsp; Whose favor would you rather court?&nbsp; Do you think there's a correlation between your interests and the typical interests of other guys?&nbsp;

IMHO, I think these are important questions for females to ask themselves.&nbsp; I'm not some bleeding-heart male feminist, but from my own personal observations, I think women grow through some type of very bizarro socialization process during the teen and early adult years -- and more often than not, it's a process that ultimately benefits guys like me (yay!:P) and leaves most girls bitter from relationships and/or alone.[/b][/quote]
I agree. It's almost as though the definition of a cool girl has become a girl who acts like a guy. I kind of went through this phase, but lately I just thought fuck it, I care more about Gilmore Girls than I ever will about football, and that's ok. I like hanging out with my close female friends the best, though guy friends are great too. Doing girly things does not make a woman any more likely to backstab, lie, and instigate drama than the next girl.

I can understand why women tend to want to disassociate themselves from the cat-fighting, jealous, gossipy, ditzy, shallow image of women. But I'm not about to give up my nail polish. It's the image that has to change, not me.

[Chester]

This will all come as great comfort and solace to me the next time I watch pro wrestling on TV.

[shakazu]

I agree. It's almost as though the definition of a cool girl has become a girl who acts like a guy

karizma-you say you don't like girls because you act like more of a guy. Yet you admitted to going to malls, and making an assumption on your photo gallery, you seemed to be very into the feminine mentality: such as the makeup photo and the stylish hairstyle/clothes you wore while snowboarding. I know its just an assumption ,but from your posts and things it seemed you were very girly.

It's funny how this post turned into "I am a girl but don't like other girls..." Not giving a reason to your disdain of other girls besides thier "girlyness"factor, instead just validating the idea that " women hate each other"

However, i also have also encountered numerous females who were backstabbers/gossipers,..(i think females tend to be more then males) yet the biggest group of gossipers at my high school were a group of all guys.

I agree with the person who said girls are in competion with each other. The pressures on females are enormous,it just pretty much....sucks.

[shy]

for the most part, i have no problems getting along w/ other women.

[yoMAMA]

One word:

Jealousy

[shy]

<!--QuoteBegin-yoMAMA+Aug 22 2003, 09:20 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (yoMAMA @ Aug 22 2003, 09:20 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> One word:

Jealousy [/b][/quote]
don't men ever get jealous of each other? maybe for different things... but isn't that why men also get competitive w/ one another?

i mean... i've seen a all men's high performance dragon boat team. while i was trying out for the women's team, the men had their tryouts beside us. we were all going at a comfortable pace... just enjoying the experience. but man... those guys? they were oozing testosterone! even my guy buddies who got off that practice admitted to it... all trying to do each other out!

now don't get me wrong... i enjoyed it. those nice, hunky bodies... *drool*

[Jenny]

I think girls are just competitive by nature, we're always sizing eachother up.&nbsp; Most guys seem a lot more chill about things like that.&nbsp; I mean, you usually don't see a guy looking at another guy thinking "god, I wish my ass looked like his."&nbsp;

[Emperor_Mike]

<!--QuoteBegin-Jaley+Aug 22 2003, 09:47 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Jaley @ Aug 22 2003, 09:47 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> I mean, you usually don't see a guy looking at another guy thinking "god, I wish my ass looked like his." [/b][/quote]
I have a friend like that. He's not gay and it's hilarious how he's always commenting on other guys' bodies.

Maybe he is gay and I'm clueless.

[Chester]

<!--QuoteBegin-Jaley+Aug 22 2003, 10:47 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Jaley @ Aug 22 2003, 10:47 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> I think girls are just competitive by nature, we're always sizing eachother up. Most guys seem a lot more chill about things like that. I mean, you usually don't see a guy looking at another guy thinking "god, I wish my ass looked like his." [/b][/quote]
Well, we may not compete in terms of shapeliness of buttocks, but men are just as competitive, perhaps more.

It's just that men are far more direct with their competitiveness.

A lot of people say that women are more "sneaky" or "devious," but I think it's a simple matter of women being more indirect and nonconfrontational. Sometimes, with annoying chicks, this manifests itself as passive-aggressiveness. Like...making insults or judgements, but only in an insinuating way so that they're not directly engaging...and then pretending as if they weren't insinuating anything if they're called on it.

Both styles have their drawbacks. With the male way, people get physically hurt, but at least the emotions are usually purged. With the female way, it rarely ends up in melee combat, but there are these ugly tensions that go on. and on. and on.

But, basically, men are no less competitive with one another.

[applehead]

<!--QuoteBegin-LeahLe+Nov 11 2002, 10:10 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (LeahLe @ Nov 11 2002, 10:10 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> A woman "hating" another woman because contradictly she admires the ways of that person. Unconciously, she feels inferior and&nbsp; fears being challenged by other females. She hates another female because she is jealous of what she doesn't have and has a desire to be like that person. [/b][/quote]
that is just so ridiculous.

[Chester]

<!--QuoteBegin-SunWuKung+Nov 12 2002, 03:03 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (SunWuKung @ Nov 12 2002, 03:03 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> you know what's fucked up is how some girls can have ex-friends.&nbsp; like, people that used to be their friends but who they don't want to be friends with any longer.&nbsp; i don't think either me or any guys i know can stay angry at someone indefinitely. [/b][/quote]
Yeah. But usually guys don't let things boil over into big shit. That is, usually issues get worked out quickly, rather than allowed to fester into something truly insurmountable.

But, yeah, it's funny how women have so much intramural drama going on. Remember how it used to be in college? Girls become, like, bestfriendsohmygodwe'resoclose super fast. Inseparable within a week. This goes on and they're thick as thieves. During sophomore year, certain things irk them about each other and the resentment begins to build. Then something ends up causing the shit to hit the fan and then it's ohmygodIfuckinghatethatbitch, and they're mortal enemies for the rest of college.

Though, sometimes they end up burying the hatchet during Senior Week and become best buddies again...until they totally lose touch with one another promptly after graduation.

It's just that women are generally far more attuned to the responsibilities that are implicit in relationships. That is, they are both willing to give more and also expect more out of friends. There's a lot&nbsp; more in the way of expectations, and thus a lot more opportunity for disappointment and "betrayal."

With guys, it's more like: don't try to fuck my girlfriend, don't steal my last beer, don't hog the remote control too much, and all is copacetic. Guys don't give a shit if their buddy forgets their birthday or if their buddy won't hang out with them and eat ice cream when they're not feeling well or if their buddy borrows their jeans for three months and doesn't seem to want to return them...because we don't fucking borrow each other's clothing. Because, if a friend walked up to me and said, "Those are cute! Can I borrow them this weekend?" I'd bitch-slap the motherfucker to put some sense into him. What's fucking wrong with you?...borrowing clothes. Go buy your own fucking clothes, asshole.

And we will have worked out our issues. Thus, we could go get drunk together with no cloud of resentment hanging over our heads.

The End.

[Irezumi Kiss]

With guys, it's more like...don't steal my last beer, don't hog the remote control too much, and all is copacetic. Guys don't give a shit if their buddy forgets their birthday or if their buddy won't hang out with them and eat ice cream when they're not feeling well or if their buddy borrows their jeans for three months and doesn't seem to want to return them...because we don't fucking borrow each other's clothing.

This is very very twue...

...although this first sublime point begs a different question...

don't try to fuck my girlfriend

Well, if he DID try and SUCCEEDED, then whose fault is it?

And what happens if YOU joined in? Are you guys better friends for it?

:P

[ChinaLama]

i see what chester's saying. in nietzschen terms: men have a noble morality while women have a slave morality. and the reason that is because men used to lord over women.

[shy]

<!--QuoteBegin-SunWuKung+Nov 12 2002, 02:03 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (SunWuKung @ Nov 12 2002, 02:03 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> you know what's fucked up is how some girls can have ex-friends.&nbsp; like, people that used to be their friends but who they don't want to be friends with any longer.&nbsp; i don't think either me or any guys i know can stay angry at someone indefinitely. [/b][/quote]
oh i don't know about that... i've seen grudges between two guys, two women and a guy and a woman...

i think it also has to do w/ age. that sort of thing for me, gets less and less as i get older. i mean... w/ true friends, i always believe no matter how angry we may be at each other, we'll work something out. even if it takes awhile.&nbsp; ;)

[shy]

<!--QuoteBegin-Chester+Aug 22 2003, 12:24 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Chester @ Aug 22 2003, 12:24 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Yeah. But usually guys don't let things boil over into big shit. That is, usually issues get worked out quickly, rather than allowed to fester into something truly insurmountable.

But, yeah, it's funny how women have so much intramural drama going on. Remember how it used to be in college? Girls become, like, bestfriendsohmygodwe'resoclose super fast. Inseparable within a week. This goes on and they're thick as thieves. During sophomore year, certain things irk them about each other and the resentment begins to build. Then something ends up causing the shit to hit the fan and then it's ohmygodIfuckinghatethatbitch, and they're mortal enemies for the rest of college.

Though, sometimes they end up burying the hatchet during Senior Week and become best buddies again...until they totally lose touch with one another promptly after graduation.

It's just that women are generally far more attuned to the responsibilities that are implicit in relationships. That is, they are both willing to give more and also expect more out of friends. There's a lot more in the way of expectations, and thus a lot more opportunity for disappointment and "betrayal."

With guys, it's more like: don't try to fuck my girlfriend, don't steal my last beer, don't hog the remote control too much, and all is copacetic. Guys don't give a shit if their buddy forgets their birthday or if their buddy won't hang out with them and eat ice cream when they're not feeling well or if their buddy borrows their jeans for three months and doesn't seem to want to return them...because we don't fucking borrow each other's clothing. Because, if a friend walked up to me and said, "Those are cute! Can I borrow them this weekend?" I'd bitch-slap the motherfucker to put some sense into him. What's fucking wrong with you?...borrowing clothes. Go buy your own fucking clothes, asshole.

And we will have worked out our issues. Thus, we could go get drunk together with no cloud of resentment hanging over our heads.

The End. [/b][/quote]
interesting perspective... thanks! :) i have to agree w/ some of the things you have said.

and btw, LOVE your new avatar!

[SunWuKong]

<!--QuoteBegin-Chester+Aug 22 2003, 04:24 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Chester @ Aug 22 2003, 04:24 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->But, yeah, it's funny how women have so much intramural drama going on. Remember how it used to be in college? Girls become, like, bestfriendsohmygodwe'resoclose super fast. Inseparable within a week. This goes on and they're thick as thieves. During sophomore year, certain things irk them about each other and the resentment begins to build. Then something ends up causing the shit to hit the fan and then it's ohmygodIfuckinghatethatbitch, and they're mortal enemies for the rest of college.[/b][/quote]

did you go to my school??? shit, that's exactly what happened with some of my female friends. hell, they didn't even wait till sophomore year to hate each other's guts. second semester was soon enough.


<!--QuoteBegin-Chester+Aug 22 2003, 04:24 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Chester @ Aug 22 2003, 04:24 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->With guys, it's more like: don't try to fuck my girlfriend, don't steal my last beer, don't hog the remote control too much, and all is copacetic. Guys don't give a shit if their buddy forgets their birthday or if their buddy won't hang out with them and eat ice cream when they're not feeling well or if their buddy borrows their jeans for three months and doesn't seem to want to return them...because we don't fucking borrow each other's clothing. Because, if a friend walked up to me and said, "Those are cute! Can I borrow them this weekend?" I'd bitch-slap the motherfucker to put some sense into him. What's fucking wrong with you?...borrowing clothes. Go buy your own fucking clothes, asshole.[/b][/quote]


HAHHAHHAH i literally laughed out loud at this!

but yeah, i've got female friends that do things like worry about who to invite to a group outing, because if she doesn't invite so-and-so, other-so-and-so will get mad, and this propagates to the 6th degree or something until everybody is invited. and other seemingly inconsequential concerns.

and at the risk of sounding like i'm a woman-hater or something, i understand that this fundamental difference between men and women is simply because men are a bunch of neanderthals. :P

[mr. x]

well i was just watching American Splendor when i caught a trailer for that movie Thirteen and theres a scene where the (once) innocent protaganist is ridiculed by a group of girls who are like "nice socks". basically the movie's about how girls go from barbies to having sex and doing drugs and whatnot.

its not just girl on girl either i mean back in junior high (damn junior highs a bitch) this girl made fun of my velcro shoes. its just how it is, girls get off on tearing down other people (girl or guy)

[Fireblade]

<!--QuoteBegin-shakazu+Aug 22 2003, 05:05 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (shakazu @ Aug 22 2003, 05:05 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> karizma-you say you don't like girls because you act like more of a guy. Yet you admitted to going to malls, and making an assumption on your photo gallery, you seemed to be very into the feminine mentality: such as the makeup photo and the stylish hairstyle/clothes you wore while snowboarding. I know its just an assumption ,but from your posts and things it seemed you were very girly.
[/b][/quote]
she's not karizma.&nbsp; :blink:

Anyway, it might be a crowd mentality sort of thing also. I know a couple of girls, who tend to stay within a certain group, and they're always bitching about this or that. And they're frivoulous and quick to jump the gun on assuming whatever is wrong around anyone. However there are others that are just simply themselves, do not cause drama, and would like very much so, to be without drama. And they don't act like guys, lord knows I have enough tomboy chick friends, but it might possibly be that they tend to avoid people who like to cause inner strife among friends. The point I'm saying is that it might not be a factor in the sexes, just something that has to do with the group of people you hang out with. I mean, I don't want to be associated with crimes, so I don't hang out with criminals.

Except for Adaon, he likes to burn things.&nbsp;&nbsp; :lol:&nbsp; (joke btw!)

[mrazntre]

vagina width/depth envy

[Irezumi Kiss]

When they have the same Kate Spade shoulderbags.

[himura-dono]

because they ovulate when their together =)

[LCY]

Something happened to my earlier post... This is the gist of what I said.

Interesting question. I think you're right, that it is hard growing up female in society, especially in this current backlash against feminism. One of the myths of the backlash is that there are not enough men for women in the U.S., so you better get one quick. Other factors may include internalized sexism, which may cause women to hate other women or even themselves.

Personally, I relate better to women, particularly Asian women, culturally and socially. I know I would have a much harder and unhappier life without my girl friends.

[mr. x]

again i will say this

girls who are mean to other girls have this kind of power issue, its not just girls but guys they consider beneath them

[Deadpool]

well i was just watching American Splendor when i caught a trailer for that movie Thirteen and theres a scene where the (once) innocent protaganist is ridiculed by a group of girls who are like "nice socks". basically the movie's about how girls go from barbies to having sex and doing drugs and whatnot.

its not just girl on girl either i mean back in junior high (damn junior highs a bitch) this girl made fun of my velcro shoes. its just how it is, girls get off on tearing down other people (girl or guy)

I just saw the trailer. Jebus rice, after seeing it I'm having second thoughts about having kids.

[shy]

again i will say this

girls who are mean to other girls have this kind of power issue, its not just girls but guys they consider beneath them

with the girls that i know w/ such a power issue, i'll have to agree with you on this...

in fact, this reminds me of this person i use to know... she would cling to certain women and be intimidating to others. and she always had to be the centre of attention with the men.

unfortunately, i was one of the girls she clung too. i don't know why... i think if she feels that another girl is too much competition, she'll be like best friends w/ that girl...

i got tired of her... fast. first, i thought she genuinely wanted to be friends with me. and i was touched... but i was wrong.

as for the men... know this (as i speak from experience w/ such women):

the men might fall for her at the beginning... but give them some time and they will see through such a person. i've seen so many men go through this 'phase' when it came to this particular girl i knew. the initial 'trance' wears off and afterwards, even they stay away from her.

[teaz0r]

i don't like most girls i meet.
i don't know why.
i just prefer boys.

[mr. x]

i don't like most girls i meet.
i don't know why.
i just prefer boys.

i got the impression u swung both ways

[mr. x]

oh man ill relate a story of mine

there was a coupla white girls right (though race isnt a issue here), and i sorta knew them since elementary, friend of mine tells me that the first day of junior high one friend says to the other "hey wats up" or something and the others like "dont talk to me you're just a nobody with no driends" or something like that after this friend (the uppity one) started "cliqueing".

needless to say plain jane was upset. this surprised me cuz the uppity girl said hi to me one time (later in high school the uppity one was a bit nicer to her)

the uppity one wasnt a complete bitch i mean she would talk to "commoners" but did have a bit of an attitude (and her bf even moreso)

yeah aint junior high a bitch?

[coagulated fat]

oh man ill relate a story of mine

there was a coupla white girls right (though race isnt a issue here), and i sorta knew them since elementary, friend of mine tells me that the first day of junior high one friend says to the other "hey wats up" or something and the others like "dont talk to me you're just a nobody with no driends" or something like that after this friend (the uppity one) started "cliqueing".

needless to say plain jane was upset. this surprised me cuz the uppity girl said hi to me one time (later in high school the uppity one was a bit nicer to her)

the uppity one wasnt a complete bitch i mean she would talk to "commoners" but did have a bit of an attitude (and her bf even moreso)

yeah aint junior high a bitch?

Yeah most definitely.. it seems like most girls were either the hunted or the hunter in their junior high "friendships."

[teaz0r]

i got the impression u swung both ways

shiiiet.
girls that you fuck aren't the girls that you hangout with.

[shy]

shiiiet.
girls that you fuck aren't the girls that you hangout with.

i'm with teaz0r here... when you swing both ways and you just want something physical, it gets awkward if your friends w/ the girl as well. gets too complicated.

but isn't it that way with men and women? if it's just a fling, it's just a fling.

[achtungbaby]

gets too complicated.Your avatar looks pretty straight-forward to me:)

[shy]

i'm with teaz0r here... when you swing both ways and you just want something physical, it gets awkward if your friends w/ the girl as well. gets too complicated.

but isn't it that way with men and women? if it's just a fling, it's just a fling.

kissing ain't the same thing as fucking. :D

[mr. x]

say teazor are u actually thai or thai of such and such descent?

[moschikat]

shiiiet.
girls that you fuck aren't the girls that you hangout with.


:(

but baby!! it just meant so much to me!! *tee hee*

i don't think i hate other girls, i just like the cuter/prettier girls better . ..

*yum!*

:p

[teaz0r]

half thai.

[mr. x]

well i watched thirteen the other day and yeah, similar incident in which the main character basically tosses her old school friends aside (along with her kiddie clothes), much in the same way that girl i mentioned.

the way i see it, i could never personally do that to a friend, i mean yeah we drift apart but to throw them away like that is like i duno, i dont think guys do that, though ironically cuz they probly dont wanna deal with the emotional shtuff

[coagulated fat]

I think women are more emotionally invested in their friendships. This makes them more valuable to each other but also makes things messier when they split apart for whatever reason.

Did someone already say this?

[Chester]

I think women are more emotionally invested in their friendships. This makes them more valuable to each other but also makes things messier when they split apart for whatever reason.

Did someone already say this?

Maybe so. But not quite so succinctly. Well, someone might have said something like "bitches be wack," but while that is succinct, it's not terribly...elucidating.

So then...where do you think this tendency toward emotional investment comes from? Is there some sort of gender-wide proclivity toward co-dependence?

And, yeah, I tried to phrase that so it wouldn't sound too much like a rhetorical question. ;)

[coagulated fat]

Maybe so. But not quite so succinctly. Well, someone might have said something like "bitches be wack," but while that is succinct, it's not terribly...elucidating.

So then...where do you think this tendency toward emotional investment comes from? Is there some sort of gender-wide proclivity toward co-dependence?

And, yeah, I tried to phrase that so it wouldn't sound too much like a rhetorical question. ;)

Co-dependence is such a harsh way to say it. Couldn't it be, you know, relationship building or social involvement or something?

[mrazntre]

Co-dependence is such a harsh way to say it. Couldn't it be, you know, relationship building or social involvement or something?


harsh? hardly. it's absolutely true.

[coagulated fat]

harsh? hardly. it's absolutely true.

I just read an article in Newsweek about autism that discusses the theory that women tend to be empathizers while men are systemizers.

[mrazntre]

what's a systemizer?

we like to create order?

[coagulated fat]

what's a systemizer?

we like to create order?

Yes. Learn how things work and stuff like that.

[mr. x]

theoretical question

if there were only women in the world and no men, would the seperate civilizations get along?

personally i think while there would be tensions culturally they wouldnt resort to violence

[mrazntre]

Yes. Learn how things work and stuff like that.

and since we can't figure out how women work it makes us crazy?

[nonamerasian]

One woman's pov:


Her radical take on female sexuality liberated thousands of women from bedroom boredom and helped to fuel the sexual revolution. Now Shere Hite, one of the world's leading sexologists, has turned her exhaustive research skills to the contentious issue of relationships between women - and why many turn sour.

The Hite Report on Women Loving Women will claim to expose the truth about women's complex relationships with other women by investigating how they support or, controversially, undermine each other in the workplace and at home.

With women under pressure to be the perfect mothers, lovers and employees, they increasingly find themselves in conflict with other women as they compete for success. Female bosses are often accused of behaving "like men".

Friendships in the workplace are affected by a level of female misogyny that destroys the myth of solidarity and sympathy, shows research published this year. In practice, women often find themselves the enemies of fellow female employees.

To be published next March, Hite's study is understood to be based on thousands of interviews conducted by questionnaire with women across the world and includes personal accounts of their relationships with mothers, sisters, friends and colleagues.

This is the first report in nearly five years from the chronicler of women's erotic desires who once posed for Playboy magazine. Her 1976 best-seller, The Hite Report on Female Sexuality, transformed her into a feminist icon on the strength of her revelation that the clitoris was key to women's sexual satisfaction.

Hite has dedicated her life to documenting the sex lives of ordinary women. But her move to discuss female relationships in the round is a sign of how important the issue has become to women.

The explicit content of her work has made her the enemy of puritanical right-wingers. Although born in America, the former model was forced to leave soon after publication of the first Hite Report because of sustained attacks on her work.

Now living in Europe, the feminist researcher released an updated version in 2000 of her original study into women's sex lives. This new account found that British women were the most sexually confident and liberated in the English-speaking world - although British men were a disappointment in bed.

The anticipated publication of her latest study comes as lesbian heroines find growing mainstream acceptability, both on the screen and in books. The BBC has bought Fingersmith, the latest novel by Sarah Waters, which is billed as "engrossing lesbian Victoriana". Her book Tipping The Velvet, about lesbian relationships, which was also adapted for television, attracted one of BBC2's highest ratings in 2002.

Julie Burchill has also secured a deal to turn her novel Sugar Rush, a schoolgirl's lesbian love story, into a television drama. And this week sees the publication of Sappho's Leap by Erica Jong, a fictionalised account of the life of the bisexual Greek poetess.

Female liberation, at work and socially, appears to have come at a price. A study by Northumbria University found that women turn into female misogynists at work because they feel they have to conform to the dominant male culture.

The psychotherapist and writer Susie Orbach said women felt undermined by women competing against them "because competition is not something women are brought up to do".

"They are brought up to co-operate rather than compete," she said.

"It may not be that they are more competitive than men, but when they compete against women it is noticed more, it brings a sense of disloyalty, whereas men have been brought up to feel they are in competition." - The London Independent

By Sophie Goodchild and Andrew Johnson

http://www.iol.co.za/index.php?set_id=1&click_id=31&art_id=vn20040823184845310C457660

[moser]

My two pennies:

At least when there's some dislike between another woman and I, it's almost always b/c:
1) jealously/insecurity on my or her end
2) one side not liking a trait(s) of the other
3) irrational hatred/don't know

(Ex. of #3 - there was this one girl in college who was a "friend" but would take every opportunity she had to try to put me down. Girl was insecure, but I have no idea why she chose to hate on me in particular and not another person.)

Also, IMO, women as a generalized whole tend to take the idea of friendship more seriously than men do, though am not sure why. For a friendship to break up something huge has to happen, or that the two (or one of the two) didn't like one another anyway and it wasn't much of a friendship to begin with.

[Hiroshi2]

Also, IMO, women as a generalized whole tend to take the idea of friendship more seriously than men do, though am not sure why. For a friendship to break up something huge has to happen, or that the two (or one of the two) didn't like one another anyway and it wasn't much of a friendship to begin with.



I really think females in general take relationships (friendships, romantic relationships, family, etc) more seriously than most males.

[Tao]

I really think females in general take relationships (friendships, romantic relationships, family, etc) more seriously than most males.
i disagree, i think men just hide their emotions better

[krome]

Well, women only hate women who lower their status (ie - more attractive). Cuz status is all relative.

You might be a 10 in your circle, but as soon as a hotter girl walks in the room - she instantly takes the 10 spot and you get bumped to a 9. ("Who does she think she is?" - before she even says a word?) That will affect your whole life now - socially, romantically and professionally. So, there's a lot at stake here. Now, who wants that?

Same thing with men, too. Once a more dominant male enters your sphere - he assumes the alpha position and all others get bumped down a notch. Alpha to beta and beta to omega...