Asian "Yuppie" circles "superiority"

[mrcfo]

So here I am at a Asian-Australian "professionals" circle dinner/night/ball....Id say 90% were no older than 27 with most in their mid 20s. There was no one really older than 35. By occupation, most were in the medical, engineering or science field with finance and accounting rounding out the rest.

I'm not sure if its me getting old (I just turned 28 not so long ago..) and witnessing so many couples get hitched/engaged...I felt like missing out so to begin with I was already in a shitty mood. But is it just me or do Asians just feel that bit more superior when they are "higher up" the occupation chain, compared against "Westerners"? They sure did act like it and somehow, I almost always feel as if they exhibit and flaunt this behavoir a lot more. Somehow extravagence is emphasised.

The whole night, I just felt the attitude of the majority, especially those earning big bucks were somewhat too fake and its not the first ever event I attended either. There was a wine night and kareoke night, but again, I felt like the same.

It was the feeling that somehow, I didn't belong, (initially I was pulled into this by a mate who helped run the thing), that somehow I'm not in this league so to speak. Admittedly, I dont earn nearly as much and really I'm not that ambitious, its was more well, I've always considered myself a country bumpkin and more or less fobbish amongst the abcs than others.

[Paradox]

Are a lot of westernized asians arrogant, insecure, obsessive compulsive, anal retentive morons who miss the bigger picture? Yes. Most were raised to believe that the occupation defines the person instead of raising up the quality of life of people as a whole around them. Plus there is this deep competitive classism ingrained in most westernized asians from their ultra-competitive fob generation parents. It's pre-enlightenment pre-revolutionary in origin and probably the most fatal flaw of any asian community you'll encounter around the world. It's an anachronistic carryover from the old country.

[USCTrojanzNo1]

So here I am at a Asian-Australian "professionals" circle dinner/night/ball....Id say 90% were no older than 27 with most in their mid 20s. There was no one really older than 35. By occupation, most were in the medical, engineering or science field with finance and accounting rounding out the rest.

I'm not sure if its me getting old (I just turned 28 not so long ago..) and witnessing so many couples get hitched/engaged...I felt like missing out so to begin with I was already in a shitty mood. But is it just me or do Asians just feel that bit more superior when they are "higher up" the occupation chain, compared against "Westerners"? They sure did act like it and somehow, I almost always feel as if they exhibit and flaunt this behavoir a lot more. Somehow extravagence is emphasised.

The whole night, I just felt the attitude of the majority, especially those earning big bucks were somewhat too fake and its not the first ever event I attended either. There was a wine night and kareoke night, but again, I felt like the same.

It was the feeling that somehow, I didn't belong, (initially I was pulled into this by a mate who helped run the thing), that somehow I'm not in this league so to speak. Admittedly, I dont earn nearly as much and really I'm not that ambitious, its was more well, I've always considered myself a country bumpkin and more or less fobbish amongst the abcs than others.

You can say it, my man. I'll say it for you: Asian yuppies can be complete assholes and douchebags. I think they are much bigger assholes than yuppies of other races (even Jews). I dunno why; but I speculate it's b/c East Asian yuppies felt that they've been discriminated and put down by other races. After achieving material success (going to a top notch university and obtaining a top notch white collar professional job), they feel they have to flaunt their success as a way of "sticking it" to whitey. The message they are delivering is "Look, you white boys made fun of us for the way we talk and for the size of our dicks, but we're making more money than you and have better jobs than you."

To paraphrase Mel Brooks, "White women are attracted to money and power and East Asians got plenty of both."

And East Asians yuppies like to flaunt what they have to each other b/c it's a simple dick measuring contest.

Honestly, I'm in the same boat as you. I'm also 28 years old, and the East Asians especially in the States (moreso in the SoCal and Bay Area, less so in areas like Sacramento and Orange County) are, in the words of paradox "arrogant, insecure, obsessive compulsive, anal retentive morons who miss the bigger picture."

I think it's b/c I tried the whole "keeping up w/ the Kims/Changs" route when I was younger. Sadly, this resulted in me falling into deep depression, turning to alcohol, and somehow developing a "low form" of bipolar (meaning, I can be labeled a bipolar, but unlike most people w/ this mental disease, I am higher functioning and have more willpower to control these impulses). It left me feeling admittedly embittered. I live in the Orange County area of California and find it much more laidback than either the Bay Area or LA County. At one point, I even went so far as to consider relocating to Austin, TX to attend graduate school at University of Texas. I've been to Texas quite a few times and absolutely love it. I also find the East Asians there to be much more well grounded and less arrogant/abrasive than those in Cali. But I decided to stick it out w/ Orange County instead.

I think its massive insecurities and chips on their shoulders from East Asians. It's the way they were raised; they were raised w/ the belief that the job they have and the school they went to define who they are. I guess it's the price we pay for supposedly being so successful and some of what you are feeling will be dismissed as "pure jealousy/resentment" of East Asians whom you perceive to be more successful than you but don't let those feelings you have make you believe you are a lesser person.

[AngryABCGirl]

Well that's what happens when you hang out with brats. Although I do have to say any of this class sentiment is 100x worse in Asia, it is an unfortunate cultural carryover as a status-obsessed people.

But also that's just symptomatic of people in any sort of highly technical professional: any type of engineering, finance, medicine, law, etc. It's the same, and in my opinion even more hyperactive in White circles because they really don't even have any other sense of identity other than their profession and the school they went to and are usually in higher places than Asians in those fields to begin with.

[drydem]

So here I am at a Asian-Australian "professionals" circle dinner/night/ball....Id say 90% were no older than 27 with most in their mid 20s. There was no one really older than 35. By occupation, most were in the medical, engineering or science field with finance and accounting rounding out the rest.

I'm not sure if its me getting old (I just turned 28 not so long ago..) and witnessing so many couples get hitched/engaged...I felt like missing out so to begin with I was already in a shitty mood. But is it just me or do Asians just feel that bit more superior when they are "higher up" the occupation chain, compared against "Westerners"? They sure did act like it and somehow, I almost always feel as if they exhibit and flaunt this behavoir a lot more. Somehow extravagence is emphasised.

The whole night, I just felt the attitude of the majority, especially those earning big bucks were somewhat too fake and its not the first ever event I attended either. There was a wine night and kareoke night, but again, I felt like the same.

It was the feeling that somehow, I didn't belong, (initially I was pulled into this by a mate who helped run the thing), that somehow I'm not in this league so to speak. Admittedly, I dont earn nearly as much and really I'm not that ambitious, its was more well, I've always considered myself a country bumpkin and more or less fobbish amongst the abcs than others.


It's only when people work or play together
for a common goal that they realize that they
are compatible with some and incompatible with others.

The problem with most meet markets is that
the activities don't generate a situation where
you figure those kinds of things out.

[drydem]

So here I am at a Asian-Australian "professionals" circle dinner/night/ball....Id say 90% were no older than 27 with most in their mid 20s. There was no one really older than 35. By occupation, most were in the medical, engineering or science field with finance and accounting rounding out the rest.

I'm not sure if its me getting old (I just turned 28 not so long ago..) and witnessing so many couples get hitched/engaged...I felt like missing out so to begin with I was already in a shitty mood. But is it just me or do Asians just feel that bit more superior when they are "higher up" the occupation chain, compared against "Westerners"? They sure did act like it and somehow, I almost always feel as if they exhibit and flaunt this behavoir a lot more. Somehow extravagence is emphasised.

The whole night, I just felt the attitude of the majority, especially those earning big bucks were somewhat too fake and its not the first ever event I attended either. There was a wine night and kareoke night, but again, I felt like the same.

It was the feeling that somehow, I didn't belong, (initially I was pulled into this by a mate who helped run the thing), that somehow I'm not in this league so to speak. Admittedly, I dont earn nearly as much and really I'm not that ambitious, its was more well, I've always considered myself a country bumpkin and more or less fobbish amongst the abcs than others.

What you are describing sounds like a classic display of Thorstein Veblen's conspicuous consumption. If you want to know more you can wikipedia it.
It's basically a very shallow game of one-upmanship and keeping up with the jones. Some people are really insecure and this kind of competition gives them a social anchor of sorts to verify their own worth. If your ego is already anchor or you are doing something that you truly believe is worthwhile - conspicuous consumption will look pretty much pointless.

[Azn Retribution]

So here I am at a Asian-Australian "professionals" circle dinner/night/ball....Id say 90% were no older than 27 with most in their mid 20s. There was no one really older than 35. By occupation, most were in the medical, engineering or science field with finance and accounting rounding out the rest.

I'm not sure if its me getting old (I just turned 28 not so long ago..) and witnessing so many couples get hitched/engaged...I felt like missing out so to begin with I was already in a shitty mood. But is it just me or do Asians just feel that bit more superior when they are "higher up" the occupation chain, compared against "Westerners"? They sure did act like it and somehow, I almost always feel as if they exhibit and flaunt this behavoir a lot more. Somehow extravagence is emphasised.

The whole night, I just felt the attitude of the majority, especially those earning big bucks were somewhat too fake and its not the first ever event I attended either. There was a wine night and kareoke night, but again, I felt like the same.

It was the feeling that somehow, I didn't belong, (initially I was pulled into this by a mate who helped run the thing), that somehow I'm not in this league so to speak. Admittedly, I dont earn nearly as much and really I'm not that ambitious, its was more well, I've always considered myself a country bumpkin and more or less fobbish amongst the abcs than others.

From what you've wrote. You're likely basing this on your own feelings as you didn't mention specific behaviours.

It's likely just you. You are projecting your insecurity on to others. Should other people apologize for being sucessful? should you apologize to someone not as lucky as yourself for what you have accomplished?

I think not.

Too self-conscious and also too much in your own head.

If you consistently feel envious or aren't happy with your plot in life. then change it. You say you lack ambition yet it appears you are clearly not satisfied with who you are.
and you clearly don't have a high opinion of yourself.
and I'm willing to bet you project this quite readily in your manner of speaking and body language as well.

I know this because I used to feel like you when I was much younger and my social intelligence lagged 1 - 2 years behind the average.
granted.
I'm coming from the opposite side of the fence.

I'm that type who's had success drop in their lap. and I had let other peoples opinions influence my opinion of myself too much. I let them define my frame. My vocabulary and whatever intimidated some people. so I dumbed myself down. Things I had, so I didn't show off. etc.

Basically,
I was insecure about what I knew, what I could do and what I had because I never let myself feel accomplishment or take pride in what I've done, and thus i took it all for granted.

[applehead]

So here I am at a Asian-Australian "professionals" circle dinner/night/ball....Id say 90% were no older than 27 with most in their mid 20s. There was no one really older than 35. By occupation, most were in the medical, engineering or science field with finance and accounting rounding out the rest.

I'm not sure if its me getting old (I just turned 28 not so long ago..) and witnessing so many couples get hitched/engaged...I felt like missing out so to begin with I was already in a shitty mood. But is it just me or do Asians just feel that bit more superior when they are "higher up" the occupation chain, compared against "Westerners"? They sure did act like it and somehow, I almost always feel as if they exhibit and flaunt this behavoir a lot more. Somehow extravagence is emphasised.

The whole night, I just felt the attitude of the majority, especially those earning big bucks were somewhat too fake and its not the first ever event I attended either. There was a wine night and kareoke night, but again, I felt like the same.

It was the feeling that somehow, I didn't belong, (initially I was pulled into this by a mate who helped run the thing), that somehow I'm not in this league so to speak. Admittedly, I dont earn nearly as much and really I'm not that ambitious, its was more well, I've always considered myself a country bumpkin and more or less fobbish amongst the abcs than others.

goodness. do you EVER meet new people you actually like?
you never say anything nice about anyone new you meet.
people pick up on bad vibes, you know.

[kusojiji]

Are a lot of westernized asians arrogant, insecure, obsessive compulsive, anal retentive morons who miss the bigger picture? Yes. Most were raised to believe that the occupation defines the person instead of raising up the quality of life of people as a whole around them. Plus there is this deep competitive classism ingrained in most westernized asians from their ultra-competitive fob generation parents. It's pre-enlightenment pre-revolutionary in origin and probably the most fatal flaw of any asian community you'll encounter around the world. It's an anachronistic carryover from the old country.


I think you make a mistake when you try to paint this as a phenomena of "Westernized" people.

[Azn Retribution]

I think you make a mistake when you try to paint this as a phenomena of "Westernized" people.

I think he makes it by trying to rationalize his insecurity about his lack of ambition in life as a point of superiority.

[MarshalStealth]

Are a lot of westernized asians arrogant, insecure, obsessive compulsive, anal retentive morons who miss the bigger picture? Yes. Most were raised to believe that the occupation defines the person instead of raising up the quality of life of people as a whole around them. Plus there is this deep competitive classism ingrained in most westernized asians from their ultra-competitive fob generation parents. It's pre-enlightenment pre-revolutionary in origin and probably the most fatal flaw of any asian community you'll encounter around the world. It's an anachronistic carryover from the old country.

One might know what is the big picture in term of the general behavior of some people. My suggestion is to concentrate on defining his or her life goals and objectives, while ignoring the opinions of other irrelevant people . Then, focus on achieving it to the best of their abilities

I think he makes it by trying to rationalize his insecurity about his lack of ambition in life as a point of superiority.

There is no superior advantage to bitching about unfairness to the world when one is positioned behind the curve and not implementing any "real" effort in improving their situation. Life sucks for those who surrender to their fears and doubts.

[mrcfo]

I think he makes it by trying to rationalize his insecurity about his lack of ambition in life as a point of superiority.

Well not really, but I really do see it as the upper echelons of Asian-Australian society. Almost all were sucessful professionals, sure I admit, I do feel a bit a bit irriated at myself and how things have panned out for me.

Most of these people were 1-2 generation Asian-Australians and there seems to be a dramatic shift from what their parents endured. Sure, we all progress and hope to be white collars, but I just felt very "out of place" - was more meeting of a whose who of yuppie Asian-Australians.

Additionally, most of these people attend the poshy private schools, parents run a successful business abeilt very humble beginnings. In a way, they should be proud they've come such a long way and had such success, but on the other hand, it was a bit overboard with the flaunting.

It wasn't very direct so to speak, but groups just hung out with each other because 90% either went to the same poshy school or university (Melbourne university) together. 90-95% were welathy, no doubt about it....when the spoke it was the latest model German luxury mark, houses within the inner subrubs, the latest investment craze, the most lavish wedding they had or the last 3 month tour to Europe or Japan.

Put it this way, in those handful of events, I felt like despite the fact that I'm Asian-Australian and a professional, I felt out of place, like I would have more in common with a bunch of White Australians in the same middle class as me.

Yes, admittedly, in a way, I felt left out, but it was pretty obvious by the same token I didn't see them as a very down to earthy sort of group. I'm not sure of how to explain it or put it into words, it just didnt feel very comfortable.

[j&j2]

Yeah, there are Asians like that, but then again, there are plenty of whites like that as well.

For instance, the basic attitude among the physician staff at JHU is that you are beneath them if you didin't go to JHU or Harvard medical school.

Same thing applies to the black bourgeosie.

[mrcfo]

Yeah, there are Asians like that, but then again, there are plenty of whites like that as well.

For instance, the basic attitude among the physician staff at JHU is that you are beneath them if you didin't go to JHU or Harvard medical school.

Same thing applies to the black bourgeosie.

Yeah but what shits me is the "glitz" and "glamour" trying to be portrayed.

Branded clothes, branded German luxury marks, inner city housing...etc.

Fok.

[Paradox]

Yes, admittedly, in a way, I felt left out, but it was pretty obvious by the same token I didn't see them as a very down to earthy sort of group. I'm not sure of how to explain it or put it into words, it just didnt feel very comfortable.

Maybe you're just neurotic and insecure and need medication for emotional deficiencies.

Also, what the fuck is "earthy" ? is this another anglo colloquialism such as "foody" ? because it sounds fucking retarded.

[Azn Retribution]

Well not really, but I really do see it as the upper echelons of Asian-Australian society. Almost all were sucessful professionals, sure I admit, I do feel a bit a bit irriated at myself and how things have panned out for me.

Most of these people were 1-2 generation Asian-Australians and there seems to be a dramatic shift from what their parents endured. Sure, we all progress and hope to be white collars, but I just felt very "out of place" - was more meeting of a whose who of yuppie Asian-Australians.

Additionally, most of these people attend the poshy private schools, parents run a successful business abeilt very humble beginnings. In a way, they should be proud they've come such a long way and had such success, but on the other hand, it was a bit overboard with the flaunting.

It wasn't very direct so to speak, but groups just hung out with each other because 90% either went to the same poshy school or university (Melbourne university) together. 90-95% were welathy, no doubt about it....when the spoke it was the latest model German luxury mark, houses within the inner subrubs, the latest investment craze, the most lavish wedding they had or the last 3 month tour to Europe or Japan.

Put it this way, in those handful of events, I felt like despite the fact that I'm Asian-Australian and a professional, I felt out of place, like I would have more in common with a bunch of White Australians in the same middle class as me.

Yes, admittedly, in a way, I felt left out, but it was pretty obvious by the same token I didn't see them as a very down to earthy sort of group. I'm not sure of how to explain it or put it into words, it just didnt feel very comfortable.

The biggest hole of your inner-game is you seem to realize you feel something (in this case out of place) but are unable to self-examine to try to understand the root cause of WHY.

Try and identify what emphasis and what traits are so discomforting to you. (in this case you take issues with people who enjoy what you see as a lavish lifestyle)

ask yourself why these bother you. learn to challenge yourself and your rationalizations. you spend most of your posts describing them and the luxuries, advantages and what not they've had.

You spend all of 1-2 sentences describing what does actually bother you.

I do feel a bit a bit irriated at myself and how things have panned out for me.

This to me suggests you are deflecting frustration of your life onto others.
from your other posts on the forum. I'm thinking your not comfortable in most groups at all. and you need to get to the point to where you need to accept if you want to take steps to change. Not for them. not to fit in. but for your own inner peace. your own peace of mind.

because if you go on doing what you've been doing.
You will keep getting the same results.


alternately. I also recommend watching the following to get ideas for different perceptions of looking at things in life.

TV Shows:
1. How I met your Mother (Barney in particular. especially when you see how he was essentially YOU at one point in time.)
2. Californication

Films:
1. Van Wilder. (Pay attention not exactly to the comedic part but how everyone interacts and sees things. How some people are reactive and how the main character is not. (very little gets under his skin.)
2. Hitch.
3. Alfie

Audiobooks:
Find the game by neil strauss somewhere on the net if you're unwilling to pay for it. easy to find if you google "neil strauss" rapidshare.

Maybe you're just neurotic and insecure and need medication for emotional deficiencies.

Also, what the fuck is "earthy" ? is this another anglo colloquialism such as "foody" ? because it sounds fucking retarded.

neurotic and insecure are just synonyms for weak inner-game.

medication for a situation like this is, generally-speaking, a crutch meant to be used concurrnetly with congitive behavioural therapy. (i.e learn to not only be self-aware but self-correcting.).

unless there is genuine brain damage or some other pathology most people with this type of issue should not need to be on it for those deficiencies for life. (although reality differs in that in practice, people are comfortable being completely dependent and would rather not take the steps of self-examination)

Example:

anti-anxiety meds will allow you to realize how you are when you are calm.
and the therapy (personal development crap) are to help you find what in your life or what rationalizations or frame of reference are the root of causing that shit.

its like physical therapy for the mind.
you aren't to become dependent on it. your to use it to a) normalize your life externally while you b) work on the issue internally and work towards attaining that peace without the meds.