Confidence

[betterasianman]

Here's a question for the women here:

If a man is not naturally good with women, does he deserve to take lessons on learning how to?

[sandra]

what does 'good with women' mean? like if he beats them or something, then i would recommend anger management and domestic violence classes.

[Banana]

No.

Communication classes should be outlawed. The more problems people have, the more we can act in a superior fashion in order to make ourselves feel better.

[eos]

I'm with kasia. What is meant by "good with women"? This would mean he is naturally "bad" with women, ie. not returning calls, flirting with other women, a cheater, married but looking and/or a stalker.

However, some women like these things in a man - sometimes all of the above in one single person.

No, I don't believe those kinds of men can be taught anything.

[Banana]

I think he means being able to appear attractive to women.

[eos]

Well some women are very attracted to the behaviors I listed.

(And you of all people should know I was being facetious. Really, Banana. How could you?)

[Banana]

What BetterAsianMan is doing isn't all that bad but I have heard some really shady methods on what his course pushes. This goes for Asian Playboy as well.

Like in the other thread, there is talk about how ethical these methods are and I don't pretend to like them. However, I also think what he's doing may have a small positive in that it helps Asian men communicate better with women.

I've been reading around Asian themed websites for some time now and the same thing seems to crop up all the time. It's the habit for people to want to come up with the "perfect" solution with no downside. If someone offers a potential solution that's not perfect, it gets panned, ridiculed, and the poster is driving into the badlands.

That's just not realistic.

This is why it's next to impossible for Asians to get anything done. You're so mired in process. Not only process but the "perfect" process.

My point being that even though this program has a stereotype of doing shady things, it might just help that one Asian guy communicate better with women with no shady motives.

[betterasianman]

---
what does 'good with women' mean?
---

A man who is good with women is a man who knows how to romantically connect with women.

So, to re-phrase the original question: If a man does not naturally (or you could say 'intuitively') know how to romantically connect with women, do you think he does or does not deserve to seek instruction and lessons on how to?

[Banana]

Why do you care for the validation of others?

[betterasianman]

---
Why do you care for the validation of others?
---
I'm uncertain as to how that is related to this thread.

---
What BetterAsianMan is doing isn't all that bad but I have heard some really shady methods on what his course pushes. This goes for Asian Playboy as well.
---

I don't have a course, a method, or a curriculum. I have never created one, and I don't intend to.

I run a podcast & blog.

[applehead]

well, why do you care what we think?
chances are, you're going to disregard the opinions of the women
then continue to do what you were doing.
and thank people who approve of what you're doing.
so basically you're just looking for validation.

so i think it has a lot to do with the thread.

[betterasianman]

Applehead,

I see your point, and you may be correct. However, the best way to find out if you are is to first hear some opinions first.

[Banana]

It's related to this thread because you're essentually asking if it's ok.

[goodintentions]

I do know that some asian women like being dominated. When I was in high school, I liked this girl that never gave me a chance probably because I was too damn nice. She ended up dating an abusive white guy that made her cry all the time.

As a matter of fact, I can't think of any asian woman that is on the same term with whomever her partner is. They all seem to let their male counterpart dominate them.

What do you mean by "naturally good with women"? Are we talking about naturally being dominant to the asian women or are we talking about treating them well?

[monkeygone2]

I do know that some asian women like being dominated. When I was in high school, I liked this girl that never gave me a chance probably because I was too damn nice. She ended up dating an abusive white guy that made her cry all the time.

As a matter of fact, I can't think of any asian woman that is on the same term with whomever her partner is. They all seem to let their male counterpart dominate them.

What do you mean by "naturally good with women"? Are we talking about naturally being dominant to the asian women or are we talking about treating them well?

I'm waiting for a punchline.... or was that sarcasm....
EDIT: Forgive me, if you were joking. I've been reading some wacky stuff lately that's pretty much on par with your post.

[Banana]

Women want nice guys, not doormats.

[pikachupacabra]

Do I have to post the cartoon again? Jeebus people. Jeebus cristo on all of you.

[eos]

Do it anyway.

[betterasianman]

---
What do you mean by "naturally good with women"? Are we talking about naturally being dominant to the asian women or are we talking about treating them well?
---

A man who is good with women is a man who knows how to romantically connect with women.

By 'naturally' I was referring to 'intuitively' or 'without need of being taught'

[pikachupacabra]

http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w7/Pikachelsea/MySpace%20crap/NiceGuys1.gif

[goodintentions]

Women want nice guys, not doormats.

And yet many like myself continue to observe the opposite.

[mzhsacramento]

It's fine if you wanna help out Asian guys, but....

http://www.betterasianman.com/blog/?p=198

why do you wear lifts and promote them on your website? Are you going to start using penis pumps eventually and include them in your "reviews" category?

[betterasianman]

He who is interested in the products I use (which have positively influenced my life) will visit my website to learn about them so that he may empower himself.

He who is not, will not.

Regarding the original question presented in this thread: Is your opinion contingent upon my life, beliefs, and actions? Or, is your opinion independent and able to exist on its own?


It's fine if you wanna help out Asian guys, but....

why do you wear lifts and promote them on your website? Are you going to start using penis pumps eventually and include them in your "reviews" category?

[SunWuKong]

LOL, tough audience here, betterasianman.

[applehead]

seriously, shoe lifts?

[noname]

seriously, shoe lifts?

I'm sure it has a similar effect for guys as push-up bras and high heels do for girls. :)
But anyways, back to the original question...

[eos]

Either way, it's false advertising. And if people lie about their height, boobs and legs what else are they capable of lying about?

But of course, in this thread (and others recently) we're *ALL* speaking purely on a superficial, "I-just-want-to-get-laid-not-looking-for-marriage-or-even-LTR" basis.

So, lifts? Why not. Push-up bras? Sure. Heels? The higher the better!

[mzhsacramento]

I'm sure it has a similar effect for guys as push-up bras and high heels do for girls. :)

So does a girl ever say "hey, keep those sexy lifts on when we're fucking, cuz it's so much sexier that way."

[applehead]

I'm sure it has a similar effect for guys as push-up bras and high heels do for girls. :)
But anyways, back to the original question...

hahahaha.
i don't see anything wrong with short men.
so my initial reaction was "shoe lifts?!? what the hell for?!"
i forget that for some men, it can be a sensitive issue.
so, you're completely correct.

[cloudzero]

Here's a question for the women here:

If a man is not naturally good with women, does he deserve to take lessons on learning how to?

do you think your podcasts and blogs can be seen by the wrong audience, like non-asians. i always feel the publicity affects the asian man's reputation in a negative way. since reputation is a critical part of a guy's attractiveness, have you ever thought your work can be counter productive in that sense?

[AngryABCGirl]

hahahaha.
i don't see anything wrong with short men.
so my initial reaction was "shoe lifts?!? what the hell for?!"
i forget that for some men, it can be a sensitive issue.
so, you're completely correct.

LOL for some reason when I thought of this, I thought of lying MySpace photos are weird angles.

[Chooky]

why do you wear lifts and promote them on your website? Are you going to start using penis pumps eventually and include them in your "reviews" category?

Penis pumps aren't all that bad....so I'm told. Just don't buy used.

[sandra]

um. what is your success rate?

[betterasianman]

cloudzero,

I understand what you're asking here, but I'm unclear as to how that is related to this thread. (Since you asked, I've posted an answer on my website.)

-William

[mzhsacramento]

haha. I just realized I have more hate to give. Is it possible to teach AMs to be good with women without creating a creepy fraternity where people say "romantically connect with" all the time and a mohawk is considered the most appropriate haircut for an Asian guy.

[eos]

cloudzero,

I understand what you're asking here, but I'm unclear as to how that is related to this thread. (Since you asked, I've posted an answer on my website.)

-William

Here (http://www.betterasianman.com/blog/?p=2164) you go, everybody.

I just had to see it for myself. It's in the Fan Mail section, natch.

[applehead]

HUH???
it doesn't even answer the question, remotely.

[cloudzero]

^my thoughts exactly.

[buttermilkwise]

haha. I just realized I have more hate to give. Is it possible to teach AMs to be good with women without creating a creepy fraternity where people say "romantically connect with" all the time and a mohawk is considered the most appropriate haircut for an Asian guy.


The level of people entering the program can be so stunted to the point that they are so afraid that they can't even think of approaching a pretty girl before pissing their pants and running away.

At this stage the means are completely irrelevant, because leading an existance where you are constantly terrified of doing something you wish you could have given anything in the world to do is a far worse path to go down.

The style of program is not going to fit everyone, but in a desperate situation, sometimes taking desperate measures is the right thing to do. It is highly highly unfair and unjust for people who have the luxury of leading normal lives, to judge people that are struggling and simply trying to find a way to stand up on their own feet.

My apologies to some who were affected by my replies, but this is the sole reason why I grew absolutely infuriated in the other thread, and fought back as hard as I could.

[betterasianman]

haha. I just realized I have more hate to give. Is it possible to teach AMs to be good with women without creating a creepy fraternity where people say "romantically connect with" all the time and a mohawk is considered the most appropriate haircut for an Asian guy.

mzhsacramento,

I get what you're saying, and I understand the reasoning behind your question, but it's unclear to me how this is related to the original purpose of this thread.

But hey, the flaming certainly makes for good drama and forum reading :)

-William

[Sunflare]

The style of program is not going to fit everyone, but in a desperate situation, sometimes taking desperate measures is the right thing to do. It is highly highly unfair and unjust for people who have the luxury of leading normal lives, to judge people that are struggling and simply trying to find a way to stand up on their own feet.


I agree. This parallels with the general attitudes from some of those who may be well off, financially and socially, and how they would personally judge someone else beneath them on the social and economic ladder, who may be socially and economically disadvantaged, in many other ways:

Such as the person who is homeless and hungry without food and shelter,

or the person who is mentally ill,

or the person who has contracted HIV,

or the teenager coming out of a broken household, or a group home.

For that matter, ppl, young men and women alike, who are forced into the sickening and abusive sex trade,

or ppl who abuse drugs (many abuse drugs because of such things as severe depression or other disorders, contrary to popular beliefs and notions), and so forth.

Such ppl all need real help and assistance, so they can get themselves out their misery, back on their feet. It would be wrong to judge them, adversely scorning them over problems they did not create for themselves, in many cases.

So could it be the same the same with men who are socially stunted and unable to find their way out towards living more fulfilling social and romantic lives? Should we judge them adversely too then?

Just throwing in my two cents in this discussion.

[tripostrophe]

mzhsacramento,

I get what you're saying, and I understand the reasoning behind your question, but it's unclear to me how this is related to the original purpose of this thread.

But hey, the flaming certainly makes for good drama and forum reading :)

-William

*facepalm* and what does this thread have to do with Women's issues? If I start up my own website or bootcamp can I register here under a different username and start creating threads to quietly sell my program? I could be facebook: YellowWorld fetus

[betterasianman]

tripostrophe,

This thread has nothing to do with women's issues, and it's not intended to. The heading for this forum is "APA Women Speak." Thus, I've asked for the women on this forum to give their opinions.

I understand what you're saying with your rhetorical question, but I'm not sure what that has to do with me. I don't have a bootcamp program to sell, nor do I intend to start one. I'm the editor for a podcast and blog that that provides 100% free content.

-William

[tripostrophe]

tripostrophe,

This thread has nothing to do with women's issues, and it's not intended to. The heading for this forum is "APA Women Speak." Thus, I've asked for the women on this forum to give their opinions.

I understand what you're saying with your rhetorical question, but I'm not sure what that has to do with me. I don't have a bootcamp program to sell, nor do I intend to start one. I'm the editor for a podcast and blog that that provides 100% free content.

-William

Hm understood.

[sandra]

um. yes it is intended to.

[monkeygone2]

Introducing yourself to a woman in a bar situation is a lot like posting in a forum - it's best to be straight forward, instead of beating around the bush for hours. She probably knows whether or not she wants to go out with you within the first 30 seconds, so don't make it a painfull situation.
Betterasianman's here because of the pickup artist quagmire. Please tell him what you think of the whole pua movement, so he can tell you your opinion doesn't matter to him.

[betterasianman]

monkeygone2,

The reason why I'm here is to get a female opinion on the question presented as the first post in this thread.

-William

[mzhsacramento]

I understand what you're saying with your rhetorical question, but I'm not sure what that has to do with me. I don't have a bootcamp program to sell, nor do I intend to start one. I'm the editor for a podcast and blog that that provides 100% free content.

You're an instructor for the bootcamp! You were pictured with the Asianplayboy and another instructor on Asianweek! lol, God damn it. Scroll down to see pic. William's on the right.

http://www.asiandatingmethod.com/

And by the way, why is the other ABCs of attraction instructor teaching losers how to hook up with Asian girls. It's all very bizarre.


But please do continue posting here. Because a repeat of this thread would be very entertaining.

http://www.thefighting44s.com/forum/showthread.php?t=6485

[betterasianman]

mzhsacramento,

Yes, I am an instructor for the ABCs of Attraction. That's what it says under the 'DATING COACH' tab on my website, www [dot] betterasianman [dot] com, as well as in the ABOUT section.

You can also see a video of me on my website's homepage.

---
And by the way, why is the other ABCs of attraction instructor teaching losers how to hook up with Asian girls. It's all very bizarre.
---

Good question! The instructor you're referring to is Johnny Wolf. You can email him and ask him yourself at support@abcsofattraction.com

-William

---
I understand what you're saying with your rhetorical question, but I'm not sure what that has to do with me. I don't have a bootcamp program to sell, nor do I intend to start one. I'm the editor for a podcast and blog that that provides 100% free content.
---

Again, I don't have a bootcamp program to sell, nor do I intend to start one. The ABCs of Attraction bootcamps are the brain-child of The Asian Playboy, not me.

I'm not interested in acquiring clients for the bootcamps. I have a job :)

[mzhsacramento]

What is wrong with you? I didn't point out that you're an instructor just for the sake of pointing it out. Do you teach for 100% free? You benefit financially from promoting the ABCs of attraction and PUA in general. So you ARE selling something, and that's why you joined this group.

Thanks for the email. But I'm only using it to comment on his fat head.

And you still haven't address the most important question in this thread. Lifts! Why, why, why?

[monkeygone2]

monkeygone2,

The reason why I'm here is to get a female opinion on the question presented as the first post in this thread.

-William

...um, yeah...because of the asianplayboy pickup artist quagmire.

[buttermilkwise]

And by the way, why is the other ABCs of attraction instructor teaching losers how to hook up with Asian girls. It's all very bizarre.


Exactly who are the people you are calling losers? And why should anyone listen to you especially them, if these so called 'pick-up' artists that you claim are such scum-bags, don't judge others the same way you do?

You just shot yourself in the foot pal.

[mzhsacramento]

[Exactly who are the people you are calling losers?]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTv4X0aTlEc&feature=channel_page

[buttermilkwise]

So could it be the same the same with men who are socially stunted and unable to find their way out towards living more fulfilling social and romantic lives? Should we judge them adversely too then?

Just throwing in my two cents in this discussion.

Good post, but it looks like we've completely wasted our time here.

[Exactly who are the people you are calling losers?]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTv4X0aTlEc&feature=channel_page

Why do you look down on other people? Do you honestly think that somehow you are better than them? Do you realize, you are being a complete and total hypocrite?

Don't bother replying to my rhetorical question, I'm through dealing with this thread. let William get back to his original post.

[tripostrophe]

^lol. don't judge others eh? except on their sex and race?

Exactly who are the people you are calling losers? And why should anyone listen to you especially them, if these so called 'pick-up' artists that you claim are such scum-bags, don't judge others the same way you do?

You just shot yourself in the foot pal.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FiT1fewmZNA

Do all pickup artists need to have such bad hair?

[mzhsacramento]

Gross

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QY8k1BAaS1A&feature=channel_page

[betterasianman]

mzhsacramento,

---
What is wrong with you? I didn't point out that you're an instructor just for the sake of pointing it out. Do you teach for 100% free? You benefit financially from promoting the ABCs of attraction and PUA in general. So you ARE selling something, and that's why you joined this group.
---

I am an instructor for the ABCs of attraction, but it is still unclear to me how that is related to selling bootcamps (which is something I don't do).

---
And you still haven't address the most important question in this thread. Lifts! Why, why, why?
---

I understand what you're asking here, but as I had mentioned before, but I am uncertain as to how this is related to the original question in the first post on this thread.

Let s/he who is interested in reading about my choices in life inquire of those things by contacting me or opening a sub-forum discussion on it, and let those who are interested in getting a female opinion on the original topic of his thread do so by posting the question in the Women's forum, which is what I've done.

-William

[tripostrophe]

mzhsacramento,

---
What is wrong with you? I didn't point out that you're an instructor just for the sake of pointing it out. Do you teach for 100% free? You benefit financially from promoting the ABCs of attraction and PUA in general. So you ARE selling something, and that's why you joined this group.
---

I am an instructor for the ABCs of attraction, but it is still unclear to me how that is related to selling bootcamps (which is something I don't do).

---
And you still haven't address the most important question in this thread. Lifts! Why, why, why?
---

I understand what you're asking here, but as I had mentioned before, but I am uncertain as to how this is related to the original question in the first post on this thread.

Let s/he who is interested in reading about my choices in life inquire of those things by contacting me or opening a sub-forum discussion on it, and let those who are interested in getting a female opinion on the original topic of his thread do so by posting the question in the Women's forum, which is what I've done.

-William

Will, let me ask you - how do you justify posting a topic like this in the women's forum in the first place? Honestly, to me it sounds more like you're advertising your site/program [regardless of whether you make money off of programs or not] or as someone mentioned earlier, trying to justify what you do to yourself. I don't see how it's related to Women's issues at all. Just a question I'd like you to answer honestly.

[tripostrophe]

Interesting, how defensive people are getting when we attack the men who take these classes. But people do tend to get that way when you start shaking up a weak foundation - perhaps cracks are beginning to show in the facade? Okay, so it sucks to be in a position where you're investing in a flawed method. But doesn't mean that you've got no other options left.

Just no easy ones.

[mzhsacramento]

What happens when you take off your cowboy boots along with your lifts in front of a girl, and you become 4 inches shorter? Is it awkward?

[applehead]

Gross

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QY8k1BAaS1A&feature=channel_page

EW.

honestly, do smart, respectable, well-educated
women fall for this type of shit?
really?

maybe these men and the women they pick up deserve each other.

[Sunflare]

honestly, do smart, respectable, well-educated
women fall for this type of shit?
really?


OK.

Let me ask you a general question. Straight question.

Do you think the majority of all APA women are able to think as critically and on the intelligence level as you all are all here?

I can only partially answer that question. What I do know is that many AMs were able to become consciously aware of the APA experience and make a difference in other people's lives.

On their own.

[monkeygone2]

About motorboating??

[Banana]

I'll catch flak for this.

After just being an observer of Asian Americans and their attitudes, I realize that Asian Americans are educated.

Not smart.

[betterasianman]

Will, let me ask you - how do you justify posting a topic like this in the women's forum in the first place?

...

I don't see how it's related to Women's issues at all. Just a question I'd like you to answer honestly.

As I had mentioned in post #43 on page 3 of this thread, this thread has nothing to do with women's issues, and it's not intended to. The heading for this forum is "APA Women Speak." Thus, I've opened this thread under this forum, threw out a question for discussion, and asked for the women on this forum to give their opinions on it.

[MarkMilton]

* Set - A group of two or more people which a man would have to approach and befriend in order to be able to woo his "target" girl. "Beautiful women are rarely found alone."

* Peacocking - Dressing to stand out, or to have an item of clothing or an accessory that looks interesting, allowing the girl to comment on it if she is interested in starting a conversation with you.

* The 3-second Rule - If you see a girl you are interested in, you must approach her within three seconds or you will over-think things and create too much approach anxiety and analysis paralysis, and you will risk her seeing you staring at her.

* Neg - A backhanded compliment intended to snub a potential mate ("target"), telegraph a lack of interest ("false disqualification"), encourage the target to prove her worth ("qualify"), and simultaneously disarm 'obstacles' such as protective male or female friends.

These ideas work

[Sunflare]

^Hey, that looks like contents out of the Mystery Method book.

[MarkMilton]

A lot of The Mystery Method is true

[AngryABCGirl]

EW.

honestly, do smart, respectable, well-educated
women fall for this type of shit?
really?

maybe these men and the women they pick up deserve each other.

that's what usually happens. See the type of people that leave with each around around 1:40 at a club?

[applehead]

that's what usually happens. See the type of people that leave with each around around 1:40 at a club?

i'm old.
i don't stay out that late. hehe.
honestly, i have not been to club in nyc in almost a decade.
omg. (limelight, twilo? anyone?)
okay. saying that seriously made me feel old.
BLEH


* Peacocking - Dressing to stand out, or to have an item of clothing or an accessory that looks interesting, allowing the girl to comment on it if she is interested in starting a conversation with you.

peacocking?! motorboating?!?
hahahahahahahaha.
who comes up with these titles?

[AngryABCGirl]

motorboating. the epitome of class.

[monkeygone2]

honestly, i have not been to club in nyc in almost a decade.


You did not just mention The Limelight lol... memories...

[applehead]

You did not just mention The Limelight lol... memories...

hahahaha.
your age showing, j!!

[sandra]

i like guys who write well.

[cloudzero]

i like guys who write well.

i don't like you either

[Sunflare]

After just being an observer of Asian Americans and their attitudes, I realize that Asian Americans are educated.

Not smart.

Thought about that for awhile and I will have to agree. But I think this would apply to many other Americans, regardless of color. It is just the way that this ignorance manifests itself from each ethnic group that differs. The circumstances and factors leading to the ignorance are different.

When it all boils down to is the fact that we are all only human.

[mzhsacramento]

Peacocking - Dressing to stand out, or to have an item of clothing or an accessory that looks interesting, allowing the girl to comment on it if she is interested in starting a conversation with you.

http://www.theartofpeacocking.com/minicourse/part2/trash.jpg

[VV o n g B a]

i haven't worn lifts, but i have to say my height bugs me sometimes. being told in a conversation w/ a girl that height is "super important, no i mean it really" is a bit like taking a knife in the gut. i know some guys shrug that shit off or can turn it around w/ some retort. but i was just like... ouch. thank god we were sitting down at the time.

[Chooky]

i haven't worn lifts, but i have to say my height bugs me sometimes. being told in a conversation w/ a girl that height is "super important, no i mean it really" is a bit like taking a knife in the gut. i know some guys shrug that shit off or can turn it around w/ some retort. but i was just like... ouch. thank god we were sitting down at the time.

This seems to support that view....

We argue that a simple preference for a taller husband (or shorter wife) can explain part of the gender-specifi…c asymmetries across ethnic groups in the propensity to outmarry. Blacks are taller than Asians, and their height distribution is closer to whites. Because they are taller, black men have better prospects on the white marriage market than Asian men. For women, the reverse is true. Because Asians are relatively short on average, women fare substantially better on the white marriage market than black women.

http://economix.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/06/19/modeling-interracial-love/

[cloudzero]

i haven't worn lifts, but i have to say my height bugs me sometimes. being told in a conversation w/ a girl that height is "super important, no i mean it really" is a bit like taking a knife in the gut. i know some guys shrug that shit off or can turn it around w/ some retort. but i was just like... ouch. thank god we were sitting down at the time.

there are girls who prefer same height, walking around eye to eye instead of head on shoulder. i forgot what term they used, but i would guess it make it feel less sexist? something along the lines of less dominance of either side.

[applehead]

i haven't worn lifts, but i have to say my height bugs me sometimes. being told in a conversation w/ a girl that height is "super important, no i mean it really" is a bit like taking a knife in the gut. i know some guys shrug that shit off or can turn it around w/ some retort. but i was just like... ouch. thank god we were sitting down at the time.

it really isn't all that important. really!

[SunWuKong]

i haven't worn lifts, but i have to say my height bugs me sometimes. being told in a conversation w/ a girl that height is "super important, no i mean it really" is a bit like taking a knife in the gut. i know some guys shrug that shit off or can turn it around w/ some retort. but i was just like... ouch. thank god we were sitting down at the time.

what i've learnt over the years is that women say all kinds of shit they don't really mean or that they change their minds on. i have basically learnt to tune them out and just tell them what they want to hear.

[applehead]

what i've learnt over the years is that women say all kinds of shit they don't really mean or that they change their minds on. i have basically learnt to tune them out and just tell them what they want to hear.

don't worry. they're not listening to you either!

[eos]

don't worry. they're not listening to you either!

OMG!!! That is *so* true. Because of my hardened cynical shell I no longer believe anything anyone says and words that come out of people's mouths have no meaning to me whatsoever.

I guess this comes with the customer service territory.

[cloudzero]

don't worry. they're not listening to you either!

and the chain continues! :mad:

[tripostrophe]

I always know what I want, and it usually works out pretty well for the both of us. Not the most honest person though...

[Sunflare]

Being honest in a relationship with a romantic interest is critically important if a person wants to allow the relationship to progress. The reason is so that a sense of trust an be forged between the two individuals in a relationship allowing the bond between partners to become stronger. First impressions are important but it's developing that sense of trust is of even more importance.

One thing I also realize is that when it comes to dating is that (providing that the person is continuing to work on self improvement in personality) is that the person needs to just be him/herself instead of putting up an act like some men do.

Being able to pick up girls successfully is one thing, but when it comes to a LTR, things can get pretty deep, requiring a sense of trust, respect, genuine love and affection and patience. Sometimes a partner may come to a disagreement. This is where cultivating patience, and communication and understanding of your partners emotional needs comes in, because it is OK to agree with your partner to disagree on certain things and move on.

Many men fail in this area because they fail to understand what is in the heart and mind of the woman the man may be in a relationship with.

I'm sure you are all aware of this. I guess I'm just typing this because it is a good reminder to me to follow this philosophy when in a serious relationship, and will help me all the way into marriage.

Edit: I never agreed with the idea of lifts either. I know quite a few Asian dudes who are shorter then me, but still are doing well with relationships with the opposite sex. having dating options. Not all girls are that concerned with height. In fact it sounds like an internet myth to me.

One Asian American dude I grew up with is really short, however he has a excellent physique, dresses down like a superstar, and is known to be a heartbreaker with the girls, Asian girls in particular. So from what I know, having heel lifts does'nt make a real difference.

Even alot of dudes who are Latino or black are short like some Asian men but are still doing well in their dating life.

[SunWuKong]

what i've learnt over the years is that women say all kinds of shit they don't really mean or that they change their minds on. i have basically learnt to tune them out and just tell them what they want to hear.

don't worry. they're not listening to you either!


you are so right!

[applehead]

and the chain continues! :mad:

hahahaha.
oh well.

[Sunflare]

Many ladies live for the moment. It's only natural. I've learned to roll with the punches and deal with it. Ladies are ladies. That is all there is all there is to it. The way men choose to deal with it is another matter. Some learn the mechanics and philosophy behind it and many others fail, hence the rants and misconceptions of the angry Asian, white or black man.

Myself, I refuse to fall into that self defeating mental trap. There are alot of gorgeous women out there who are willing to struggle with you because they sincerely love you and care about you once you make that emotional and romantic connection.

Many women truly have a good heart.

[applehead]

OMG!!! That is *so* true. Because of my hardened cynical shell I no longer believe anything anyone says and words that come out of people's mouths have no meaning to me whatsoever.

I guess this comes with the customer service territory.

that's what i meant.
and compliments. they make me feel uncomfortable.!

[BillBlythe]

there are girls who prefer same height, walking around eye to eye instead of head on shoulder. i forgot what term they used, but i would guess it make it feel less sexist? something along the lines of less dominance of either side.

did you wait til the girl and everyone that heard that comment to leave the room before standing up?

[BillBlythe]

did you wait til the girl and everyone that heard that comment to leave the room before standing up?

meant to quote wongba.

[eos]

that's what i meant.
and compliments. they make me feel uncomfortable.!

Don't get me started with "compliments" and "pet names". I naturally look pissed off. Who the hell walks around with a smile all the time? Only psychos do. Once, as a teenager, I had this older white man tell me "You should really smile."

Hm, how about I roundhouse kick your head? *That* would make me smile.

Also if you ain't from the South, a woman named Flo who works in a diner, or my significant other, don't even think about calling me "sweetheart" or "honey".

[Sunflare]

Don't get me started with "compliments" and "pet names". I naturally look pissed off. Who the hell walks around with a smile all the time? Only psychos do. Once, as a teenager, I had this older white man tell me "You should really smile."

Hm, how about I roundhouse kick your head? *That* would make me smile.

Also if you ain't from the South, a woman named Flo who works in a diner, or my significant other, don't even think about calling me "sweetheart" or "honey".that's what i meant.
and compliments. they make me feel uncomfortable.!

What would you like to be called then? I'm talking to eos specifially.

I don't usually go off with compliments off the bat unless I am talking among guy friends in reference to women I find attractive. . You know, GUY TALK. If guys don't do that then either they are of a different sexual orirntation , which is cool with me (I been there) or just stunted when it comes to dating women.

It's better to come off with snark on certain occasions to make the woman wonder what is really on my mind..

It's called negging. Women are hit on like a dozen times a day so they are usually surprised when a dude comes of with a neg and it puts the woman oddly at ease for enlightening conversation.

Heh this is what's actually confirmed in the bootcamps for that matter, but I realized this on my own.

Negs, which CZ humorously does, which is why he's always pushing your buttons for fun. That's the smart thing to do when dealing with ladies. Not insulting but conveying the point that it's really no big deal. Dude's on the ball because he is good at this and it's entertaining to see you two go at it too. Heck I learned a thing or two from this dude.

Usually I am very civil with ladies, even those I may be interested in. Because I know this is how women think. And with good reason I will have to admit.

Just relating this to you as a confirmation that what you said is correct. Not that you need a confirm or that I need a 'hell yeah' but I said it anyway.

[applehead]

Don't get me started with "compliments" and "pet names". I naturally look pissed off. Who the hell walks around with a smile all the time? Only psychos do. Once, as a teenager, I had this older white man tell me "You should really smile."

Hm, how about I roundhouse kick your head? *That* would make me smile.

Also if you ain't from the South, a woman named Flo who works in a diner, or my significant other, don't even think about calling me "sweetheart" or "honey".

hahahahaha.
oh i hear ya about the "smile" thing.
i heard that all the time while growing up.

[eos]

It's perfectly fine if my dad says it, cuz he's my dad.

Oh ew I totally remember this one time when I was with my hapa best friend. This white dude in his 30s actually backed up his car, got out and jumped over a low fence to talk to her. He asked her what her name was and how old she was.

We were 12. He was like "Oh. Well you're really pretty. Just wanted you to know that."

LOL...this is turning into a totally different thread for you and me.

[applehead]

it's okay.
the thread was in the toilet when it began.
we can only improve on it.
haha

[AngryABCGirl]

*flush*

[tripostrophe]

I need help with a quote..I think it was posted on here before. Something about how there's no reward for consistency or showing up every day or something along the lines of character-building. I think it was positive.

[Sunflare]

^ Actually you was the one that brought up that point in a recent thread