Asian youth curse...

[537]

9:00am, Conference room 100-2E-1

I'm sitting in a meeting with management about a project I completed within budget and ahead of schedule....

"Excellent work....what a pleasant surprise."
"We thought you were going to need more time, but great job"
"Good work, son."

:pissed: wtf? That bastard called me 'son'. I may look young, but that has no reflection on the quality of work I provide. Nor is that any indication of my level of experience in any field I wish to work in. I'm sick of appearingyounger than PaleFace and consequently being judged because of that. Has this happened to anybody else?

Truthfully, I'm tired of it.

/me waits for the day the white man learns that not everybody ages as quickly as they do....

[lethal]

Perpetual 5 o'clock shadow keeps people thinking I'm at least as old as I am. I got tired of looking young too, but in my old job I quickly earned the reputation as someone who was good at his job, so people got over the younger look real fast.

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by 537@Nov 26 2002, 11:11 AM
9:00am, Conference room 100-2E-1

I'm sitting in a meeting with management about a project I completed within budget and ahead of schedule....

"Excellent work....what a pleasant surprise."
"We thought you were going to need more time, but great job"
"Good work, son."

:pissed: wtf? That bastard called me 'son'. I may look young, but that has no reflection on the quality of work I provide. Nor is that any indication of my level of experience in any field I wish to work in. I'm sick of appearingyounger than PaleFace and consequently being judged because of that. Has this happened to anybody else?

Truthfully, I'm tired of it.

/me waits for the day the white man learns that not everybody ages as quickly as they do....
hahhah how old are you?

yo you should accept a compliment when you're given one! i don't want people to think i'm old!

[537]

Originally posted by SunWuKung@Nov 26 2002, 08:16 AM
Originally posted by 537@Nov 26 2002, 11:11 AM
9:00am, Conference room 100-2E-1

I'm sitting in a meeting with management about a project I completed within budget and ahead of schedule....

"Excellent work....what a pleasant surprise."
"We thought you were going to need more time, but great job"
"Good work, son."

:pissed: wtf?  That bastard called me 'son'.  I may look young, but that has no reflection on the quality of work I provide.  Nor is that any indication of my level of experience in any field I wish to work in.  I'm sick of appearingyounger than PaleFace and consequently being judged because of that.   Has this happened to anybody else?

Truthfully, I'm tired of it.

/me waits for the day the white man learns that not everybody ages as quickly as they do....
hahhah how old are you?

yo you should accept a compliment when you're given one! i don't want people to think i'm old!
old.

I'm almost a whole moon cycle in years.

[ellsworth81]

for the most part, i'd rather look young than old.

although ppl won't take you as seriously, you also get a chance to give them a big shock by showing how good a "youngblood" like you is.

so you find it degrading that he's assuming that you're young based upon looks? or do you find it degrading that he's assuming you don't know anything based upon your presumed young age?

[537]

Originally posted by ellsworth81@Nov 26 2002, 08:31 AM
for the most part, i'd rather look young than old.

although ppl won't take you as seriously, you also get a chance to give them a big shock by showing how good a "youngblood" like you is.

so you find it degrading that he's assuming that you're young based upon looks? or do you find it degrading that he's assuming you don't know anything based upon your presumed young age?
I actually found it highly offensive that it was assumed I didn't know anything.

But I would rather look young than old. I'm merely concerned how the quality of my work was/is downplayed by my looks. It's as if a 'youngblood' like me has to work twice as hard to get the same recognition that a similar-aged white male needs to. It's not so much as me looking young.....it's just the narrow-mindedness and prejudgemental nature many people have in the workplace that i loathe.

In regards to giving them a big shock by showing them my performance.....I agree.

But how many times must it actually be a big shock? :blink:

[Rogmok]

hah.. how many years is a moon cycle??

anyway.. i experience that everyday here.. I work in an office of 40.. and i'm the ONLY non white employee.. AND i'm the only person under 27. (i'm 23)

so i get that a lot but mostly because its true since my experience and knowledge is way below everyone elses..
it hasn't started to bother me.. but i can see how if i was older.. and still getting that type of statements... that it can be disrespecting..

[ChinaLama]

ehhh... a boss calling you son isn't necessarily b/c you look way younger. maybe it's just his way of addressing all his workers? or just you?

[537]

I'm 27.

So far, I'm the only one to be referred to as 'son'. That was the very first time I've heard that from anybody. My father doesn't even speak in such a way. Well....he does refer to me in that way when speaking to other people about me, but he doesn't call me 'son'......feh...you know what I mean.

:blush:

[kitty]

are you young in the office? a new hire? anything that might give him a paternalistic attitude towards you?

but it's true that a lot of it is racial. white people just think they are more mature than non-whites; they call(ed) blacks "boy" for generations and referred to plantation workers (black, asian, hispanica alike).

and I look twelve so everyone says I... look twelve.

[Chris]

Here a story about myself.

A young 20 year old who got a position of conflicts analyst for a huge law firm. Their youngest one to date. Most of my interaction was over the phone. But I made it a habit to seeing the big partners in person. They thought I was at least 28 when I talk to me. When they saw me I look like an 18 year old. Talk about trying to earn their respect. They kept calling me son and thought I don't know what i am talking about becuase I was young. Took me 6 months to earn their respects. After that they stop calling me son because they finally realize i knew what I was talking about and I told them that it bother me as well. I've in being firm and direct. If it bothers you TELL THEM. They wont know if you dont say anything.

[537]

Originally posted by kittygirl@Nov 26 2002, 10:02 AM
are you young in the office? a new hire? anything that might give him a paternalistic attitude towards you?

but it's true that a lot of it is racial. white people just think they are more mature than non-whites; they call(ed) blacks "boy" for generations and referred to plantation workers (black, asian, hispanica alike).

and I look twelve so everyone says I... look twelve.
Newhire? No, I have been with the company for 2 years. As for him having a paternalistic attitude towards me....I don't know about that. That....kinda...frightens....me lol.

I hear what you are saying, though. Granted, I am not put in front of upper management very often. I work in network infrastructure, and the project plans I produce do not include status meetings with them. I am a firm believer that my actions speak louder than any self-boasting can incur. I guess meetings such as those are for highly paid managers with little else to do :lol:.

This meeting was just a congratulatory meeting to 'thank' me for my work. But I'd much rather have them say 'thank you' in my paycheck. :P

[SunWuKong]

hmmm... moving to business & careers...

[Chris]

thanks SWK :) I couldn't move it here.

[angel nympho]

I don't think the problem is with what they call you. It's with how they percieve you. I don't give a crap that everybody at my job calls me "kid" 'cuz they don't think it has anything to do with my job performance. Honestly, from my interaction with white people, I think they call everybody they're a little protective over "son" and things like that. As long as they know that you're up to par with everybody else, I would just get past it.

[537]

Originally posted by angel nympho@Nov 26 2002, 12:29 PM
I don't think the problem is with what they call you.  It's with how they percieve you.  I don't give a crap that everybody at my job calls me "kid" 'cuz they don't think it has anything to do with my job performance.  Honestly, from my interaction with white people, I think they call everybody they're a little protective over "son" and things like that.  As long as they know that you're up to par with everybody else, I would just get past it.
I wasn't nearly agitated by the name 'son' as much as the judgement of perceived lack of experience that was pressed upon me. As for getting past anything, I would go so far as to say upper management would need to get past my youthful face and see me for the results I produce.

You're right, the problem isn't with what they call me. It's with the narrowminded perceptions that come with it that lead them to believe because of my youthful appearance, I am not experienced enough to do the things I am tasked with. It is this perception, not how young they see me as, that rattles my teeth.

[angel nympho]

Originally posted by 537@Nov 26 2002, 08:58 PM
I wasn't nearly agitated by the name 'son' as much as the judgement of perceived lack of experience that was pressed upon me. As for getting past anything, I would go so far as to say upper management would need to get past my youthful face and see me for the results I produce.

You're right, the problem isn't with what they call me. It's with the narrowminded perceptions that come with it that lead them to believe because of my youthful appearance, I am not experienced enough to do the things I am tasked with. It is this perception, not how young they see me as, that rattles my teeth.
Yeah, I mean sometimes looking young and being percieved that way can actually work to your advantage. If your seniors could look past it and realize that you are FULLY qualified and capable in SPITE of whatever youth they may percieve, it'll give them something to be impressed over. :)

[Arb Nam]

Hey, as long as they are not calling you "boy", it's all good.

[not-a-twinkie?]

Originally posted by 537@Nov 26 2002, 12:58 PM
I wasn't nearly agitated by the name 'son' as much as the judgement of perceived lack of experience that was pressed upon me.   As for getting past anything, I would go so far as to say upper management would need to get past my youthful face and see me for the results I produce.  

You're right, the problem isn't with what they call me.  It's with the narrowminded perceptions that come with it that lead them to believe because of my youthful appearance, I am not experienced enough to do the things I am tasked with.  It is this perception, not how young they see me as, that rattles my teeth.
Hey 537 ... I can relate.
People at my work don't call me "son" tho, since I'm a gurl... but I'm 26 and I'm in the "middle management" here at this small company of like 60 people... and I've definitely experienced the same feelings as you. I've also felt kinda like the people below me don't respect me much, kuz they think I'm young... etc... It sucks!

Anyhow, I think for me -- time has helped. (I've also been here for 2 years.) Some of those idiots w/ bad attitudes have seemed to improve / change their way of thinking... ever so slightly... over the past couple of years. So... I'm not sure how much longer you plan to stay w/ the company, since you've been there for 2 years... but maybe with time, some of their attitudes will change...!?!?

[MellowDrama]

I was gonna start a topic somewhat like this, but it seems I have been pre-empted. Anyway, I agree, I MUST have some facial hair, or I will literally look like I'm fuckin 15!! In some cases looking young is good, but I'd say in the corporate world, it's an added burden in terms of proving yourself gaining respect.

[537]

Originally posted by not-a-twinkie?@Nov 26 2002, 03:58 PM
Hey 537 ... I can relate.
People at my work don't call me "son" tho, since I'm a gurl... but I'm 26 and I'm in the "middle management" here at this small company of like 60 people... and I've definitely experienced the same feelings as you.  I've also felt kinda like the people below me don't respect me much, kuz they think I'm young... etc...  It sucks!

Anyhow, I think for me -- time has helped.  (I've also been here for 2 years.)  Some of those idiots w/ bad attitudes have seemed to improve / change their way of thinking... ever so slightly... over the past couple of years.   So... I'm not sure how much longer you plan to stay w/ the company, since you've been there for 2 years... but maybe with time, some of their attitudes will change...!?!?
Having people under your direction not respect you as their boss does really put a damper on the chain of command model. However, I don't believe that has much to do with you being younger than they are, as it seems there's an underlying insecurity within themselves that react to authority in such a manner. I assume you're the youngest there? I am the youngest here, and the people that I am in charge of recognize that I am younger yet do not second guess me because of my age. (At least not in front of me, anyhow. I am fully aware of how people speak about their boss when they are not present lol)

If it would ever come to that point, would a 'staffing change' not be in order? I know that if I were put in the same position as you, I would consider handing out a two week's notice or two. Such bad attitudes do not belong anywhere in the corporate workplace.

But it's good to hear you're hanging in there. There's enough stress in the workplace as it is to be concerned about ignorance & idiots.

:nerd:

[not-a-twinkie?]

Originally posted by 537@Nov 27 2002, 06:52 AM

...would a 'staffing change' not be in order?  I know that if I were put in the same position as you, I would consider handing out a two week's notice or two.  Such bad attitudes do not belong anywhere in the corporate workplace.  

But it's good to hear you're hanging in there.  There's enough stress in the workplace as it is to be concerned about ignorance & idiots.  

:nerd:
Yeahh.. I wish it would be that easy to make a staffing change, as you mentioned... but it's not really the people below me, in my department who I feel don't respect me... it's the people below me, in the *other* two main departments. Basically all the people in the entry level spots. And...I'm not younger than ALL of the people in the entry level spots, kuz some of them are my age, & some are a bit older...
But since I am in middle management, I am a peer of THEIR bosses... and I don't think they get that part.

But who knows... I'm thinkin that maybe I should start mentioning it to the other middle management people... and see what happens. I'd have to figure out a way to "put it" tho... since I wouldn't want to sit there and complain and rant to the other middle management folx... kuz that won't get anything done. I'd risk the chance that they'd just get defensive, and back their people up, and not me. Whaddyou think?

.... sigh....

Well -- anyway... at least it's Thanksgiving tomorrow, and no work for 2 days... yay.

and yeah... I'm hangin in there......

But anyway --- back to you and your og post... anything new happenning at your company?

Would you like for your project plans to include status meetings w/ upper management?

[luv]

I do look very young, even Asian people think I'm like 13 or 14 even though I'm 23. But I've never thought people calling me "sweetie" or "young lady" (even "little girl" -- by woman coworker who's just joking) as a race issue because many people at my work place are over 60.

I found I kinda had a first impression problem back in college though. People would always think I'm young and incapable of carrying on projects or presentations, even though my group members were often younger than me. Or sometimes people would speak to me like they were speaking to a little kid.

My ultimate goal is to go into teaching (university level, then high-school). Would this "age-looks" thing be a major problem for me? How to overcome it?

[537]

Originally posted by luv@Nov 27 2002, 05:15 PM
I do look very young, even Asian people think I'm like 13 or 14 even though I'm 23.  But I've never thought people calling me "sweetie" or "young lady" (even "little girl" -- by woman coworker who's just joking) as a race issue because many people at my  work place are over 60.  

I found I kinda had a first impression problem back in college though.  People would always think I'm young and incapable of carrying on projects or presentations, even though my group members were often younger than  me.  Or sometimes people would speak to me like they were speaking to a little kid.  

My ultimate goal is to go into teaching (university level, then high-school).  Would this "age-looks" thing be a major problem for me?  How to overcome it?
If your goal is to go into teaching, looking young might very well be an advantage to you. I can only speak for myself, but when I was taking classes I would always have more fun in a casual class with a professor that was closer to my age. Sitting in a lecture hall listening to an old professor never really simulated the right learning synapses.

As for the people speaking to you like a little kid, I've always found that the type of people to do this are not very experienced themselves. In fact, speaking to them in an intelligent manner may place them in a confused state, neutralizing their pre-judgemental focus on you. If you don't mind making them feel stupid, then go for it :lol:

[luv]

Originally posted by 537@Nov 29 2002, 05:07 PM
[QUOTE=luv,Nov 27 2002, 05:15 PM]I do look very young, even Asian people think I'm like 13 or 14 even though I'm 23. But I've never thought people calling me "sweetie" or "young lady" (even "little girl" -- by woman coworker who's just joking) as a race issue because many people at my work place are over 60.

If your goal is to go into teaching, looking young might very well be an advantage to you. I can only speak for myself, but when I was taking classes I would always have more fun in a casual class with a professor that was closer to my age. Sitting in a lecture hall listening to an old professor never really simulated the right learning synapses.

As for the people speaking to you like a little kid, I've always found that the type of people to do this are not very experienced themselves. In fact, speaking to them in an intelligent manner may place them in a confused state, neutralizing their pre-judgemental focus on you. If you don't mind making them feel stupid, then go for it :lol:
Thanks 537, never thought of it that way. Maybe really is best way to get students interested, but I worry if they would disrespect me.

Kinda funny, was walking around with my mom and ran into one of her friends. She (lady in her 40's) asks me (slowly in Chinese -- assuming also that I'm ABC so I don't speak it), "How old are you little girl? Are you in high school yet? Helping mommy out at the store?"

I kept on thinking, smile and back slowly away...

[princess]

Originally posted by luv@Nov 29 2002, 10:44 PM

I kept on thinking, smile and back slowly away...
works every time

[ellsworth81]

Originally posted by luv@Nov 27 2002, 05:15 PM
I do look very young, even Asian people think I'm like 13 or 14 even though I'm 23. But I've never thought people calling me "sweetie" or "young lady" (even "little girl" -- by woman coworker who's just joking) as a race issue because many people at my work place are over 60.

I found I kinda had a first impression problem back in college though. People would always think I'm young and incapable of carrying on projects or presentations, even though my group members were often younger than me. Or sometimes people would speak to me like they were speaking to a little kid.

My ultimate goal is to go into teaching (university level, then high-school). Would this "age-looks" thing be a major problem for me? How to overcome it?
haha, post a pic and we'll help you judge how "young" you look :D