Regarding Are Hapas Vain Thread

[thaite]

On the other end of the Hapa issues spectrum, has anyone noticed that possibly hapas tend to be a bit more vain or narcissistic than Asians or White/Other people?

Sometimes I think that the constant exotification of mixed people really goes to their heads

[nudel]

as a group, i see a trend towards self-pity. it gets a bit old when you hear the hapa complaint of feeling lost etc etc, being rejected by asian and the other community blah blah blah. who cares, you have an asian and white/other parent. seems a bit too much crying over nothing. to go along with the crying, being vain on top of it, bah. to be PC though everybody is an individual and cant be blamed as a group. i'm one of the halfbreeds too. but annoyed with the whole self-pity deal.

[thaite]

uh, yeah, that's one end of the spectrum. I was talking about the other end.

[coagulated fat]

I think the more the hapa person splashes around the fact that they are hapa, and the more rare being mixed was where they grew up, the vainer they are. I voted yes.

[mrazntre]

On the other end of the Hapa issues spectrum, has anyone noticed that possibly hapas tend to be a bit more vain or narcissistic than Asians or White/Other people?

Sometimes I think that the constant exotification of mixed people really goes to their heads

^----current company included.

[AliBabaIncorporated]

About four years ago, I probably would have said, only the girls are more vain. But up to these days, just observing hapa guys more closely, I see a lot of them are just as full of themselves.

I guess I just wasn't used to seeing that particular kind of male vanity which expresses itself not as plain old playa arrogance, but actual preening and prissiness (in this case, about one's heritage). Fuckin annoyin. Also rather effeminate.

[Faithless]

On the other end of the Hapa issues spectrum, has anyone noticed that possibly hapas tend to be a bit more vain or narcissistic than Asians or White/Other people?

Sometimes I think that the constant exotification of mixed people really goes to their heads

It may. But for a few, not the many, I would think.

[thaite]

^----current company included.

:: noogies mrazntre ::

[Emperor_Mike]

Yes, we're very vain. Well...some of us.

[BeTheReds]

Depends on the person, but I can see what you are talking about.

Tho my vanity has nothing to do with my race, it's cuz I am freakin handsome!

[YuheiCarreau]

I am vain. But I also think I am ugly. Does that make sense?

[AngryABCGirl]

I am vain. But I also think I am ugly. Does that make sense?

You're a narcisst with low self-esteem.

[Napoleon Chynamite]

Yea, I look in the mirror a lot even though I don't perceive myself as especially goodlooking or hot. Is that being vain?

[Deadpool]

Hapas are crazy

[Irezumi Kiss]

During my karaoke bar days, when I was young, fresh and so clean, I met this hapa bartendress named Izumi.

She was nice looking, if not outstandingly gorgeous. But I think the fact that she was the only hapa in a sea of Japanese made her even more attractive.

But she was a little thicker than the other bony bartender girls, so I don't think she got much play from all the sukebe jiijiis crashing the joint who liked their bar girls thin as a reed flute.

I didn't have a problem with that, tho. Not even with the acne scars underneath the cake of foundation when I got real close to her face.

Hapas be lovely!

[Hiroshi2]

Seems like a crazy question.

I can be vain sometimes, but not because of my hapa-ness.

[rice cracker]

I'm vain as hell, and after browsing a tiny bit on various hapa sites/forums and seeing the outstanding number of photos displayed in people's sig lines, I conclude that all other hapas are vain as hell too. Fess up, you vanity cases!*


*Am half joking. Don't freak out.

[kimpossible]

That's weird. Living with two beauty standards makes me feel uglier. I'm not outstandingly pretty by either. More average and pretty far from the ideal.

[rice cracker]

That's weird. Living with two beauty standards makes me feel uglier. I'm not outstandingly pretty by either. More average and pretty far from the ideal.

*beats thaite to the punch* Pics pls. :tongue:

Seriously, though, you do raise a good point here about living with two standards of beauty.

Since all the YW hapas are hot (kimpossible pending :wink:) how do you feel your looks are judged? Let's get all shallow with it, do you feel you are measured against Asian or non-Asian standards?

Without hair and makeup done, I resemble a lump of congealed lutefisk. All done up, I am a beautiful freak.

[coagulated fat]

I agree with ricecraker, makeup makes a huge difference on me, to the extent that people comment on how different, ie ugly, I look when I go without.

[thaite]

Damn, this is one from the Wayback Machine.

I remember why I started this, and it's because one of the web communities I used to frequent was constantly being clogged up with pictures and posts from hapas saying things like "Oh look at me, omg I'm sooo cute" or "Oh look at me, guess my mix, omg!" and blah blah blah. It got really annoying and I mostly gave up going, there was nothing substantial being discussed. and that's why I posed the question in this thread.

As for myself being vain, I'm not sure how to answer the question. I guess I pay certain amount of attention to my appearance, doing things that hopefully improve it. I work out regularly and am pleased with the results. I don't know if that works out to a degree of vanity above the norm, however. And I don't think it stems from being half-Asian and thinking half-Asians are better looking.

As for having to meet seperate standards for Asian and White, I can see how that goes, but I try not to concern myself with that. My roommate says I could pass for White, and aside from not being sure how to take that (I don't know if she meant that as a compliment or not), I disagree and don't think I look very White at all. My skin is that of lighter-skinned Asians but not White, and my facial features aren't White either. Compared side-by-side, even with my brothers, I don't think I look very Asian. But I certainly don't think I look White.

[BeTheReds]

Well, when judged by Asian people they always talk about how wonderful it is that I have such pale skin and that my nose is so high, and my eyes are so big, and I'm not a fatass.

By whites, they say the same things, only it's that I have a huge nose, I'm sickly white, I'm emaciated, and my eyes are some funny shape.

So yea, 2 standards exist. Obviously I prefer the first over the second.

[Fireblade]

I agree with ricecraker, makeup makes a huge difference on me, to the extent that people comment on how different, ie ugly, I look when I go without.

Waitaminute... You're ugly? :eek:

Jk.

Anyway, I believe to a certain extent that some Hapas tend to be more vain than others. Although internet sites do not represent an entire group of people, there are a lot of hapa sites that feature their photos. It's like they have to build a photo album, and comment about how "exotic" looking they are.

[rice cracker]

I agree with ricecraker, makeup makes a huge difference on me, to the extent that people comment on how different, ie ugly, I look when I go without.

But when we do wear makeup, we knock out everyone within ten feet of us with our hotness.

Yes, we do.

[coagulated fat]

But when we do wear makeup, we knock out everyone within ten feet of us with our hotness.

Yes, we do.
sigh. It's our curse.

I guess I'd prefer to be judged by asian beauty standards... asians are more accepting of my low, kinda weird nose, chubby cheeks, and japanese eyes. The part that sucks is that I feel like most cute asian girls are good looking without makeup, have luscious lips and perfect skin, and that shiny black hair all asiaphiles go gaga over. So in a way I can never fit either beauty "definition." Woe, woe, woe.

In a way it's a good thing though. I mean, if I was blond haired and blue eyed, everyone knows what a pretty blond girl is supposed to look like because the media is saturated with em, so it would make your "faults" stick out all the more. With hapas, there are fewer representations of exactly what constitutes the perfect hapa look, so there's more room for interpretation. In that sense I think hapas, though probably vainer, have a healthy sense of self-image (except when it gets outta hand).

[rice cracker]

Silence, hag!

[Ron]

i think hapas go through a period of being vain before realizing it's pointless anyway, and there is no perfect look to try to fit in both the asian and other (your other side, white, black, etc) communities.

to me it's okay when hapa girls get all vain and prissy about their looks. when the guys do it (i.e. having picture rating contests) i just think it's weird and effeminate. growing up my brother was vain about his looks while i just groomed myself like anyone would. he still couldn't understand why i was more popular with the chicks, even though i was as asian looking of a hapa as can be (only hapas can tell i'm hapa). pretty much hapa girls can continue to be prissy. hapa guys shouldn't do it because chicks like real men, not metrosexuals.

[coagulated fat]

Why is it ok for hapa girls to be vain and prissy, again?

[Ron]

Why is it ok for hapa girls to be vain and prissy, again?

actually imo in society as a whole it's more accepted for girls to be vain and prissy compared to guys.

thats why :wink:

[coagulated fat]

actually imo in society as a whole it's more accepted for girls to be vain and prissy compared to guys.

thats why :wink:
pleh, but I thought the more important issue here was why people feel vain because of their racial makeup, something that they have no control over. Do you think that it makes sense that hapa girls should be more prissy and vain than girls of other races?

[Napoleon Chynamite]

I'm actually not hapa but I do compare myself to both white and asian standards also. Funny tho that I feel more self conscious when comparing myself to other asian doods. I'm kinda vain for someone who resembles a black shiny mop draped over a toothbrush ^^

[eurasian girlie]

hey im eurasian.. nd i dnt think you can judge someones characteristics from their race nd ethnicity. wtf would a hapa be more vain than a american, african, chinese wutever race??? i resent how people steretype me coz i am eurasian, like wtf..? so yea some hapas may be vain but arent some african people? chinese people? american people? wutever people.. nd us "mixed folk" have to deal with what it feels like, more standards in how we should act, look etc etc purely because theres are more ethnicities to us... so tell me how should i, a eurasian; english, portuguese, irish, malaysian nd chinese look nd act?

[rice cracker]

hey im eurasian.. nd i dnt think you can judge someones characteristics from their race nd ethnicity. wtf would a hapa be more vain than a american, african, chinese wutever race??? i resent how people steretype me coz i am eurasian, like wtf..? so yea some hapas may be vain but arent some african people? chinese people? american people? wutever people.. nd us "mixed folk" have to deal with what it feels like, more standards in how we should act, look etc etc purely because theres are more ethnicities to us... so tell me how should i, a eurasian; english, portuguese, irish, malaysian nd chinese look nd act?

Well, hello there.

[Seamus]

wtf would a hapa be more vain than a american, african, chinese wutever race???

Please calm down.

I'll let someone else address the rest of what you say, but since when have "american [sic]" and "chinese [sic]" been "races" (or even "wutever [sic] races" )? This is a ludicrous statement.

[rice cracker]

@eurasian girlie: I think if you read the thread you'll see that many of the posts are tongue in cheek, and a lot of POV from hapas.

Also, please feel free to browse through the other topics in the hapa forum, I'm sure you'll find several discussions about various hapa stereotyping.

And finally, your first post was a bit unclear. While I think we can all agree that stereotypes suck, why don't we continue on the path this thread is taking? As in, do hapas tend to be more vain as a result of say, being told they are the best of both worlds, unique, special, ect, and by what standard are they basing this vanity on? Please share your thoughts and experiences.

[sandra]

within the Chinese community, yes, because there is such a great emphasis placed on the double eyelids and other features that hapas tend to have. being asked if you are 'hapa' is to be interpreted as a compliment. it's almost like the first thing that chinese moms notice. in every single encounter, a child's looks are commented on - that is, if they are good-looking children. so i can see why Chinese hapa kids may be a bit vain about their looks.

[rice cracker]

STAY THE FUCK ON TOPIC ASSHOLES!

JK, I love you all. Muah. But please let's try to keep it on topic so I don't have to work while I'm at work.

[eurasian girlie]

the way i write is short hand, you kno quick? easier? i dnt reallie give a damn if it aint proper enough. nd yeh i am thirteen. wutever u think about the way i write i dnt care coz i aint out to please u. i came here...... why again? oh yeah to share ma expierences, views etc not how ma grammar is. jst coz im thirteen doesnt mean wut i have to say aint real. so yeah looks like i came to the wrong place.

and dont u jst hate stereotyping......like how ppl think jst coz ur eurasian they think ur exotic..... just coz ur thirteen they think u txt a lot.... haha i dnt even have a cell. and is anyone gonna actually answer my question on why are hapas thought to be more vain?

[BeTheReds]

the way i write is short hand, you kno quick? easier? i dnt reallie give a damn if it aint proper enough. nd yeh i am thirteen. wutever u think about the way i write i dnt care coz i aint out to please u. i came here...... why again? oh yeah to share ma expierences, views etc not how ma grammar is. jst coz im thirteen doesnt mean wut i have to say aint real. so yeah looks like i came to the wrong place.

and dont u jst hate stereotyping......like how ppl think jst coz ur eurasian they think ur exotic..... just coz ur thirteen they think u txt a lot.... haha i dnt even have a cell. and is anyone gonna actually answer my question on why are hapas thought to be more vain?


I'll answer it for you. It's because it's simply too easy to encouter a hapa who is too into his/her own looks, and has a superiority complex simply because his/her parents are from different places on the earth.

Oh, and by the way, "american" isn't a race.

I don't normally do this, but for you, I'll make a special case. Why don't you check out www.eurasiannation.com?

[rice cracker]

why are hapas thought to be more vain?

FYI, that's actually the topic this thread is discussing.

I think it's not entirely unthinkable to fall under the belief that hapa individuals could have a tendency to be more vain than a monoracial person. After all, there are even hapas out there that pander to their exotic image. Would it be so hard to believe that someone like that could feel they are better than others, and the root of their belief is in the racial admiration they receive?

I'm not saying this is the majority of mixed race people, nor even a significant number, as far as I can tell, but it's one possibility.

Oh, btw, I hate to rag on you about the spelling and stuff, because you're young and all, but the short hand typing is not very readable, and is distracting to the topic at hand.

[BeTheReds]

I'm not saying this is the majority of mixed race people, nor even a significant number, as far as I can tell, but it's one possibility.




Probably not a significant number, but definately more visibly hapa than the silent majority.

I mean think about it. Compare the hapas who aren't outwardly vocal about their hapaness with those who will declare their multiculturality and exoticness every 5 seconds. Which leaves the more lasting impression on someone?

When I worked at McDonalds 10 years ago there were asshole customers, then there were the 97% of customers who just got their food and left without complaining about stupid shit.

Who do I remember?

The bitch who complained that her coffee was too cold after asking me to put some ice in it.

[rice cracker]

Probably not a significant number, but definately more visibly hapa than the silent majority.

I mean think about it. Compare the hapas who aren't outwardly vocal about their hapaness with those who will declare their multiculturality and exoticness every 5 seconds. Which leaves the more lasting impression on someone?

When I worked at McDonalds 10 years ago there were asshole customers, then there were the 97% of customers who just got their food and left without complaining about stupid shit.

Who do I remember?

The bitch who complained that her coffee was too cold after asking me to put some ice in it.

Good point. Those vain asshole hapas are giving us a bad rap.

But wait, aren't all hapas vocal about their hapaness?

[BeTheReds]

Good point. Those vain asshole hapas are giving us a bad rap.

But wait, aren't all hapas vocal about their hapaness?


Well I'd say on varying degrees.

When you meet someone for the first time, do you immediately start talking about hapadom and your experiences with this race or that race, and your multiculturality? Are you like, "Hi, I'm Eugene, and I'm half Korean and 1/4 Italian and 1/8th German and 1/16th Irish and 1/16th Dutch. I'm so handsome and so exotic, and I can fit into so many differing cultures! I'm special!"

On a message board where people talk about race, obviously the topic of race is gonna come up a lot more, but offline, a lot of us in here probably don't talk about it so much.

[rice cracker]

Well I'd say on varying degrees.

When you meet someone for the first time, do you immediately start talking about hapadom and your experiences with this race or that race, and your multiculturality? Are you like, "Hi, I'm Eugene, and I'm half Korean and 1/4 Italian and 1/8th German and 1/16th Irish and 1/16th Dutch. I'm so handsome and so exotic, and I can fit into so many differing cultures! I'm special!"


I met a hapa girl over the weekend, and the first words out of her mouth after "hello" were "Can I ask, are you part Asian?" And from then on it was a monologue about how embarassing it was for her to ask because she so hates when people ask her and then fawn over her because she's part Japanese and on and on. Then we made funnies about people that assume we like anime.

[coagulated fat]

I met a hapa girl over the weekend, and the first words out of her mouth after "hello" were "Can I ask, are you part Asian?" And from then on it was a monologue about how embarassing it was for her to ask because she so hates when people ask her and then fawn over her because she's part Japanese and on and on. Then we made funnies about people that assume we like anime.
Well, it seems less obnoxious to me when both people are hapa - like more of a valid conversation starter. If she was talking to a bunch of asian boys, for example, then it would probably annoy me.

[rice cracker]

Well, it seems less obnoxious to me when both people are hapa - like more of a valid conversation starter. If she was talking to a bunch of asian boys, for example, then it would probably annoy me.

Meh, it annoys me either way, whoever asks, if it's a segue to just talk about themselves. Like when white people ask, and then jump onto the topic of their Asian girlfriend or their trip to Japan.

[asvenus]

mmm a funny lil question...I agree with thaite in that it becomes rather annoying when confronted with people droning on about how 'exotic and unique' they are...my sister ls like this and it does my head in half the time...but i think this boils down to what kimpossible pointed out..the concept of living upto 2 beauty standards which is hard and depressing most of the time..i mean it depends whats in vogue, what mix you are etc etc...
like im half Black so the way i look may not be considered by the mainstream as desirable as my cousin who is half White...it depends on your beauty standards and who is around you...what is valued..like lighter skin, lighter hair/straighter hair etc...tis intricate...
i think in general we/mixed people in general can be a tad bit more vain than other people but alot of it is down to insecurities that we have/had growing up...
i tend to downplay my looks because i dont really like being objectified especially by White or Black people who treat me like a piece of 'exotic' fruit at times...but then at other times i swish my jet black hair, flutter my slitty eyes, shake my big booty and go with it!! teehee

[ChaCha]

good looking people are generally vain.

so good looking happas are vain so i voted no since not all happas are good looking.

[BeTheReds]

good looking people are generally vain.

so good looking happas are vain so i voted no since not all happas are good looking.


Yet even some of the ugly ones are vain...

[>:^|]

Some of the hapas are plain
And some are understandably vain.
But the one thing I know
As far as hapas go
Is that the ones in this forum are insane.

[coagulated fat]

Some of the hapas are plain
And some are understandably vain.
But the one thing I know
As far as hapas go
Is that the ones in this forum are insane.
Finally something we can all agree on.

[ChaCha]

Why even further stereotype and draw lines between fellow asians?

hey im eurasian.. nd i dnt think you can judge someones characteristics from their race nd ethnicity. wtf would a hapa be more vain than a american, african, chinese wutever race??? i resent how people steretype me coz i am eurasian, like wtf..? so yea some hapas may be vain but arent some african people? chinese people? american people? wutever people.. nd us "mixed folk" have to deal with what it feels like, more standards in how we should act, look etc etc purely because theres are more ethnicities to us... so tell me how should i, a eurasian; english, portuguese, irish, malaysian nd chinese look nd act?

Seriously I am with eurasian girlie on this one. The entire happa vain thread stereotypes happas and it's completely biased. One HUGE difference I noticed between east coast asians and west coast asians is their grouping of asians.

My asian peers in Maryland weren't into specificities. Your asian I'm asian, that's about it. Soon I got here to the West coast people start drawing racial boundries even amongst asians. Ok so youre filipino and youre korean and youre vietnames, and in highschool the filipinos hung out with filipinos and korean with other koreans the vietnamese with other vietnamese.

I was going mad! Why the hell would asians want to do that in the first place?

As asians we are already a small minority group and people out west was further defining it into smaller sects.

Back east coast I hung out with with my friends it didnt matter what race or color, but I noticed the asian groups that existed were composed of all sorts of asian ethnic groups, koreans, chinese, thai, whatever, and got along together under 1 umbrella of "asian american". In the west I seldom see this 1 unifying umbrella but asians further divide themselves. It's just stupid imo.

Anywho as a happa growing up in the east coast I identified as being asian, and when I came to california I was confused, "I'm asian" no longer sufficed. People wanted specificites, so for the first time I had to go around explaining to other asians that I'm 1/2 filipino and 1/2 korean. Why do we do this? I dont see black or whites further dividing their group. Why even draw a line amongst us? Why even make a thread drawing a line between differing asian ethnic groups or even happas? It makes me think how openminded our asian communities are compared to black or whites'.

[rice cracker]

It's spelled "hapa." I thought in your intro thread you said both your parents were Asian?

Edit: merged. No need for two threads on this issue.

[ChaCha]

It's spelled "hapa." I thought in your intro thread you said both your parents were Asian?

Edit: merged. No need for two threads on this issue.


Yes they are both asian. I'm 1/2 filipino and 1/2 korean. If you read my entire post I've already mentioned it.

I honestly don't know why you merged my thread because my thread wasnt about vanity it was about how east coast and west coast asian mentality differ and how asians further divide our small minority group.

[Ron]

Well ChaCha in Asia you could be considered hapa. :rolleyes:

Back on topic, I'm hapa too and found it annoying how at my school the Asians banded into ethnicity camps.

Viet with Viets, Koreans with Koreans, Filipinos with Filipinos, FOB Chinese with FOB Chinese, and ABCs with ABCs or White kids. It's this that's hurting our media image.

Personally I hung out with the South Asians more.

[ChaCha]

Well ChaCha in Asia you could be considered hapa. :rolleyes:

Well I'm mixed... that's what I meant. Ok I got confused because people used the word hapa and mixed interchangeably around me. And people said I was when I told them I was 1/2 flip 1/2 korean :confused: Or maybe people just assumed because of my surname... :tongue:

HA HA let's call it a ChaCha moment. I pulled a ChaCha :biggrin:

:redface: you never know I may have a bit of spanish in me

...Back on topic, I'm hapa too and found it annoying how at my school the Asians banded into ethnicity camps.

Viet with Viets, Koreans with Koreans, Filipinos with Filipinos, FOB Chinese with FOB Chinese, and ABCs with ABCs or White kids. It's this that's hurting our media image.

Personally I hung out with the South Asians more.


I've noticed how fast the spanish speaking communities are growing because they all seem to identify themselves together under 1 major umbrella I still don't know the politically correct term so I'll use latino for now. Instead of dividing themselves as el salvadorians, mexicans, spanish, etc etc they united under the Latino community and you can see their strength and impact in America. I doubt it's possible, but if asians stopped dividing themselves with racial lines, the asian american community would be able to have just as much impact in america as the latinos.

[PropellerheadCP]

Well I'm mixed... that's what I meant. Ok I got confused because people used the word hapa and mixed interchangeably around me. And people said I was when I told them I was 1/2 flip 1/2 korean :confused: Or maybe people just assumed because of my surname... :tongue:

HA HA let's call it a ChaCha moment. I pulled a ChaCha :biggrin:

:redface: you never know I may have a bit of spanish in me




I've noticed how fast the spanish speaking communities are growing because they all seem to identify themselves together under 1 major umbrella I still don't know the politically correct term so I'll use latino for now. Instead of dividing themselves as el salvadorians, mexicans, spanish, etc etc they united under the Latino community and you can see their strength and impact in America. I doubt it's possible, but if asians stopped dividing themselves with racial lines, the asian american community would be able to have just as much impact in america as the latinos.

^
... okay. I think the term you're looking for is "ethnicity", and not race, when it comes to the division amongst Asians. I don't even think it's division, rather than maintaining our own identities.
Actually, the "Latino" communities also like to keep their own distinct ethnic identities. Look back at all the fuss, when Jennifer Lopez, played Selena.
It's America, who has lumped them up. Just like they lumped up Asians. Personally, I'm not into being called "Asian", when I'm physically and culturally Chinese. We don't all look the same. When we are all "Pan Asian", that's when we've lost our culture.

That stated, I agree that as Asians, we need to embrace each other's presence, in North America. Even in Canada, we're only a small percentage. People just think there are a lot more of us, because we gravitate towards certain areas (Vancouver and Toronto, being hot spots).

By the way, this is no longer on topic, so perhaps you can either find an old threat on this topic (I'm sure there's one), or start a new thread and let the admin do all the merging.

[ChaCha]

it was a separate thread but the mod merged it.

[rice cracker]

it was a separate thread but the mod merged it.

As I said, two threads about hapa vanity are not necessary. Unless a thread has been closed, it's not necessary to make a new thread to post responses. If you want your threads to remain intact, I suggest not titling them in response to another thread. It seems the logic of this escapes you. I guess that's why I'm a mod and you're not.

[yoMAMA]

I met a hapa girl over the weekend, and the first words out of her mouth after "hello" were "Can I ask, are you part Asian?" And from then on it was a monologue about how embarassing it was for her to ask because she so hates when people ask her and then fawn over her because she's part Japanese and on and on. Then we made funnies about people that assume we like anime.

that's a common assumption, but in reality, most anime lovers in the west are nerdy white guys :smile:

[BeTheReds]

I honestly don't know why you merged my thread because my thread wasnt about vanity it was about how east coast and west coast asian mentality differ and how asians further divide our small minority group.

What was it doing in the hapa forum then?

[ChaCha]

What was it doing in the hapa forum then?

arent mixed asians not included in the small asian minority group?

[SunWuKong]

for the first time I had to go around explaining to other asians that I'm 1/2 filipino and 1/2 korean. Why do we do this? I dont see black or whites further dividing their group. Why even draw a line amongst us?

i can tell you right now that Latin Americans do this same thing as Asian Americans do. it's ethnic identity and that's something that African Americans and most white Americans lack. i'll bet you people in Africa does it, and i know Europeans do it.

[BeTheReds]

^^ It makes perfect sense to if you're actually in tune with your ethnic culture.

Now if you're just into hanging out with people who look like you and understand what it's like to live as an Asian minority in the USA, then any Asian would do.

[Filiprish]

Hapas aren't vain. It's society who feeds their head. Society is vain.

[so_fee_ahh]

That's true, society as a whole is incredibly vain. And one thing I noticed while growing up is that the adults were the ones who were making the huge fuss over us. It's hard not to let it get to your head and that's where you get people with egos so big they can't fit through the damn door. Lucky for me, I had to fall a few times before I finally got the point that hey, maybe we're not all that different. Anybody can be vain.

[Mr.Lum]

LOL. Hapas are vain. Everyone is vain. I know a lot of ditzy and vain Asian girls. Also white dudes like that. Gimmie a break.

[Filiprish]

I had a male hapa cousin who wanted to become a model...that's what everybody told him he should do. He could have been a model...he was a very sharp looking guy. It's good that he never become a male model because we all know very few of them live happy lives. Because, he committed suicide when his pregant "white" trash wife cheated on him. RIP cuz.

That's true, society as a whole is incredibly vain. And one thing I noticed while growing up is that the adults were the ones who were making the huge fuss over us. It's hard not to let it get to your head and that's where you get people with egos so big they can't fit through the damn door. Lucky for me, I had to fall a few times before I finally got the point that hey, maybe we're not all that different. Anybody can be vain.
I hate it when people complement me on my looks -- I get, "Oh, you're so handsome!", this and that -- especialy when Asians do it. I just smile nicely but I'm thinking "leave me the fuck alone."

[etcj]

http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=ryandowning&tab=weblogs&uid=170509684

Sunday, December 12, 2004

i had a both productive and dissapointing night tonight.

My sugar daddy wanted to see me, its been awhile, and i told him very frankly that i would not have sex with him as he is not attractive to me and i dont put such prices on my body, fortunately he decided to keep me nonetheless. The summarized version of me and him..

---> HIM :: gets a very nice back massage courtesy of me
ME :: Gets a great Chinese dinner, a NEW 200$ leather jacket, and 250 dollars, cold, hard CASH... I think its a very good deal
So all in all Id say tonight was rather productive.

Anyway, I get back home and chill, watching tv (Full Metal Alchemist, Ghost in the shell: stand alone complex series, inuyasha, cowboy bepop) while chatting with some friends on my chatting programs, including gay.com (yes people, I rejoined that site, SO WHAT)
And... lo and behold, after ignoreing like 50 losers without pictures, or ugly pictures or whatever, some guy emails me who intrigues me, WHY you ask? He a hapa, half asian, specifically half japanese half caucasian, like me! EXCITING! There are many prospect here, and he didnt look half bad in his photo! I was so excited, and keep in mind this was really late, like 2 am, sheesh!
So i tell him how cool it is, were meant to be, blablabla and that we should meet tonight (yes i know, hookup) but, i was intending it to go further, i just really wanted to get to know him, a fellow "hot" hapa very well, NOW ehhee. OK SO IT DID NOT GO WELL. I drive there, and first thing i notice is that... HES A BIG FAT DOUBLE "O" LOOSER. hes not really fat, but bear with me. :)
Well he's nice, but that just doesnt cut it, especially when he looked like a freaking beaver, and if beavers could talk, thats probably how he would have talked. He was SUCH a nerd, and NOT an attractive one. So i was being nice, kinda. He was showing me all his stupid video's and people involved in them (hes a director), not like i cared one bit, I was yawning out of complete and utter boredom. He s so weird too. He brought out this big fat pregnant fake belly he used in one of productions and showed it to me and i was like "yea that so... cool... (WTF!?!)" At this point, he had no chance, game over. SAYONARA.
Yeah so he invited me to his bedroom, i told him i was too tired, and just left. I aint havin sex wit him NO WAY. I could tell he was sorely dissapointed, but its his fault for showing me stupid unrealistic depictions of himself. (picturs on gay.com)
*sigh* wheres my super ultra hot/cute hapa dream man, fuck, where are you bitch!

I feel kinda mean still, I could tell he doesnt get much, i can tell, with his looks, and unsexy nerdy mentality/mannerisms, he wont and has much trouble getting any, but he can get SUM from another person of equal unattractive status. I'm many leagues out of his reach and i do NOT have mercy sex, ive done it before and ill never do it again. (i dont mean to sound cocky, but its true in this case) Kinda feel bad though, hes a fellow Japa hapa, i think i shoulda been more nice to him.... nanto

Whatever though, im 250$ and an expensive leather jacket richer so, im more then happy with how things have gone 2night!
Hmm, well here's an entry written by a hapa Xanga buddy that seems to illustrate what this thread seems to tackle. I wouldn't say that it's arrogance as much as it's inexperience or ignorance on the part of some hapa folks on their racial and ethnic identities and the realization that being part Asian or Pacific Islander can mean fetishization.

[Filiprish]

Damn, etcj, you're buddy is incredibly shallow.

[Napoleon Chynamite]

I think being shallow just means appreciating all the things that are easy to appreciate instead of taking more time to appreciate things that are harder to appreciate. E.g. things easy to appreciate: Money, other items of monetary value, outer/physicall appearance, etc. Things that aren't as easy to appreciate: Personality, values, ideologies, or whatever.

[BeTheReds]

I hate it when people complement me on my looks -- I get, "Oh, you're so handsome!", this and that -- especialy when Asians do it. I just smile nicely but I'm thinking "leave me the fuck alone."


But, did you ever think that they might just be sayin you're a handsome guy, just because you're a handsome guy?

[Filiprish]

But, did you ever think that they might just be sayin you're a handsome guy, just because you're a handsome guy?
They are. I'd rather be average.

I can tell you right now that Latin Americans do this same thing as Asian Americans do. it's ethnic identity and that's something that African Americans and most white Americans lack. i'll bet you people in Africa does it, and i know Europeans do it.
I say Latin Americans are the vainest.

[Hapa Meister]

I was very vain in Hawaii. But have mellowed out due to aging, weight gain, and Texsuck women not being as into the Hapa/Asian/mixed Asian look and being less receptive towards dating Asian/Asianized hapa guys, not to mention the segregation problems here. Dating an Asian or part Asian is even less of a consideration to many Texan women since we are such a small minority here as compared to say Hawaii or California and they've probably noticed how most Asian men ONLY date Asian women.

White-Asian relationships are commonplace in Hawaii and thus deemed as more "normal" and "acceptable".

I could pretty much date any flavor around in Hawaii while it seems I'm mostly confined in Texas to dating Asian women (Chinese more easily than say Viet or Korean which seem less accepting of hapas) and only "some" hapa women. :frown:

[Filiprish]

Meister, what about the Hispanic women in TX? You can't attract any of 'em!?! Most hapas tend to have Hispanic features. I get mistaken for Hispanic all the time. You should broaden you horizons, brah.

[rice cracker]

Most hapas I've met can't pass for Hispanic...unless one parent had Hispanic heritage.

And what's up with the implication that Hispanic women would only go for a guy who looks Hispanic? I think it's rather sexist and racist to project such a prejudiced and shallow reaction on people.

[Hapa Meister]

Unfortunately, I am not in San Antonio or Houston where the chance of meeting an appealing Latina is much greater (some can almost pass for hapa).

Oddly, a lot of the Hispanics in my apartment complex speak fairly poor English. Could it be that the wealthier Hispanics tend to live in places like San Antonio, Houston, and Florida while the poorer ones live further North?

[Filiprish]

Most hapas I've met can't pass for Hispanic...unless one parent had Hispanic heritage.
Tend to have Hispanic features. Afterall, they say most Hispanics are of distant Asian and recent European ancestry, in the same fashion as Eurasians. Well, so they say.

And what's up with the implication that Hispanic women would only go for a guy who looks Hispanic? I think it's rather sexist and racist to project such a prejudiced and shallow reaction on people.
Am I reading correctly? Well, I think it's rather naive to think that racism doesn't exist in this country, especially in Texas, and that humans don't tend to prefer to date other people that look like themselves. From what I understand, there isn't a lot of Hispanics in MN, so maybe you didn't know many of them growing up. I did, so I'll inform you that, yes, Hispanics do prefer to date one another and others that look like themselves, much like most humans. I never said they wouldn't date out, it's the prevalant tendency that I'm refering to. Not to mention, since H_M is from Hawaii, I'm deducting that he may have trouble attracting a "white" girl due to cultural differences, ones in which are less likely to be relevant to a Hispanic female in Texas. Sexist? Shallow? :confused:

Unfortunately, I am not in San Antonio or Houston where the chance of meeting an appealing Latina is much greater (some can almost pass for hapa).

Oddly, a lot of the Hispanics in my apartment complex speak fairly poor English. Could it be that the wealthier Hispanics tend to live in places like San Antonio, Houston, and Florida while the poorer ones live further North?
Further "North" as in North Texas or Northern US? Regardless, in both places, from what I understand the Hispanic communities are relatively young in comparison to those in South Texas and Florida. South Texas, while it may have a lot of poor Hispanics there are more 3rd/4th generational Hispanic Americans who've "made it". As for Florida, namely South Florida, it's Hispanics are mostly of Hispanic/Caribbean decent. The immigration policies have a history of being more favorable to the rich therefore Hispanics there tend to be more affluent. Btw, Hispanics in Northern US are too better off than the "blacks" up there.

Hey, check this out. It's an interactive demographic web map. You can use it to locate demographic groups, such as Hispanics and Asians, in the US.

http://merlot.caliper.com/Maptitude/Census2000Maps/graphics/CaliperCensusBanner.gif (http://merlot.caliper.com/Maptitude/Census2000Maps/map.asp?from=barbera.caliper.com&command=zmout&map=3&width=0&scope=%2D96604640%7C38904126%7C3000%7C2045%2E45454 5&mapimage.x=290&mapimage.y=172&table=&)

[rice cracker]

Tend to have Hispanic features. Afterall, they say most Hispanics are of distant Asian and recent European ancestry, in the same fashion as Eurasians. Well, so they say.

Who are they? And again, most hapas I know do not have Hispanic features. I guess they are wrong.


Am I reading correctly? Well, I think it's rather naive to think that racism doesn't exist in this country, especially in Texas, and that humans don't tend to prefer to date other people that look like themselves. From what I understand, there isn't a lot of Hispanics in MN, so maybe you don't know many of them. So, I'll inform you that, yes, Hispanics do prefer to date one another and others that look like themselves, much like most humans. I never said they wouldn't date out, it's the prevalant tendency that I'm refering to. Sexist? Shallow? :confused:

Thanks for the unnecessary lesson in same race preferences. :rolleyes: I'm only too aware of that one. Your sources must be pretty illegitimate, because Hispanics are one of the largest minority groups in Minnesota, and also, I live in a Hispanic neighborhood in Virginia now. I think I can recognize "Hispanic features" since I do interact with Hispanic people.

Yes, it is actually pretty sexist and shallow for a man to generalize that a woman would take a look at a guy and say to herself, "Yes, he looks like my race, I should enter a relationship with him." Attraction isn't merely about looks, it also has to do with values and cultural influences. I mean, obviously, as soon as they start talking she's going to know he's not Hispanic after all. Speaking as a woman, looking hapa isn't enough to make a connection, then if I were to find out that the guy was Hispanic (see? I'm reversing your hypothetical situation) I would feel there was even less in common than before.

The point: looking like one race doesn't grant you totally free access to that race.

[SunWuKong]

I can tell you right now that Latin Americans do this same thing as Asian Americans do. it's ethnic identity and that's something that African Americans and most white Americans lack. i'll bet you people in Africa does it, and i know Europeans do it.
I say Latin Americans are the vainest.

my comment actually had nothing to do with who is vain or not. it had to do with people placing distinctions between different ethnicities in a person's racial makeup.

Meister, what about the Hispanic women in TX? You can't attract any of 'em!?! Most hapas tend to have Hispanic features. I get mistaken for Hispanic all the time. You should broaden you horizons, brah.

are you sure you've seen that many Latino people? :confused:
or for that matter, have you seen that many hapas? i've never noticed a pattern of physical features that hapas as a group seem to possess. each seem to me to look very different from the next.

[Filiprish]

Who are they? And again, most hapas I know do not have Hispanic features. I guess they are wrong.
Well, I've seen picture of you and I say you could pass for Hispanic. Some Hispanics have very light skin and slightly slanted eyes. If you were in a room with Hispanics you'd be easily mistaken.

http://pb.xanga.com/b6/69/b669e129c804a6325e8645a7c9fc29083024055.jpg

^Yup, I've met many Hispanic women that look like you.

Thanks for the unnecessary lesson in same race preferences. :rolleyes: I'm only too aware of that one.[quote]
So, why are we having this discussion.

[quote]Yes, it is actually pretty sexist and shallow for a man to generalize that a woman would take a look at a guy and say to herself, "Yes, he looks like my race, I should enter a relationship with him." Attraction isn't merely about looks, it also has to do with values and cultural influences. I mean, obviously, as soon as they start talking she's going to know he's not Hispanic after all. Speaking as a woman, looking hapa isn't enough to make a connection, then if I were to find out that the guy was Hispanic (see? I'm reversing your hypothetical situation) I would feel there was even less in common than before.
So, looking alike doesn't break barriers? So, minorities can't relate with other minorities due to their mutual minority status?

The point: looking like one race doesn't grant you totally free access to that race.
Totally free access? You like to blow things out of proportion. That fact that you're accusing of thinking that is insulting and makes me loose respect for you. Sexist? Again, so, looking alike doesn't break barriers? So, minorities can't relate with other minorities due to their mutual minority status?

[rice cracker]

Well, I've seen picture of you and I say you could pass for Hispanic. Some Hispanics have very light skin and slightly slanted eyes. If you were in a room with Hispanics you'd be easily mistaken.

http://pb.xanga.com/b6/69/b669e129c804a6325e8645a7c9fc29083024055.jpg

^Yup, I've met many Hispanic women that look like you.

Ah, so YOU are the they you were referring to. Frankly, you are the first person to ever say I could pass for Hispanic. I don't think so, and certainly it has never been brought up before. Interesting.


So, why are we having this discussion.

Because you're not talking about same race preference, you are saying that looking like one race grants a person (who is not of that race) the ability to pick up women of that race due to shallow surface appearance. What I said was that it's sexist and racist to generalize that just looking like a race will make a woman accept you as that romantically.

So, looking alike doesn't break barriers? So, minorities can't relate with other minorities due to their mutual minority status?


Totally free access? You like to blow things out of proportion. That fact that you're accusing of thinking that is insulting and makes me loose respect for you. Sexist? Again, so, looking alike doesn't break barriers? So, minorities can't relate with other minorities due to their mutual minority status?

No, looking alike doesn't break barriers. I am most often mistaken for being 100% caucasian, and there's still a barrier. Japanese and Koreans look alike, and believe me, there's a barrier there too. And I never said minorities can't relate with other minorities, nor did that come up until this last post. Ironic that you think I'm the one blowing things out of proportion. Don't twist my words to misrepresent my actual views, it's cheap and beneath you.

As for respect, your general attitude since you've arrived has been one of little if any respect for the rules of this site and it's moderators.

[Filiprish]

my comment actually had nothing to do with who is vain or not. it had to do with people placing distinctions between different ethnicities in a person's racial makeup.
That is blatantly clear. You mentioned Latin America and I made a comment in response. Perhaps it would have been better to just post that comment by itself to avoid confusion.

are you sure you've seen that many Latino people? :confused:
or for that matter, have you seen that many hapas? i've never noticed a pattern of physical features that hapas as a group seem to possess. each seem to me to look very different from the next.
Yes. Yes. I have. Not really, if I recall correctly Hispanics tend to have brown skin, hair and eyes.

Look at these...

http://ase.tufts.edu/latinocenter/images/04-05/9-01%20OpenHouse/5Signisup.jpg

http://ase.tufts.edu/latinocenter/images/04-05/9-06%20JPTrip/9ODC.jpg

http://www.salsaknights.com/photos/hispanic_fest/images/Backstage%20at%20the%20Hispanic%20Fest.jpg

Then these...

http://www.hapas.com/hapagirls.asp?page=1

http://www.hapas.com/hapaguys.asp?page=1

Even Blasians tend to look like Hispanics with African-ancestary. I'll find some pics that further illustrate this.

[rice cracker]

You've got to be joking me. So everyone you see, basically, looks Hispanic, no matter if they are black, white, or Asian? I think it's pretty fair to say that this is your own opinion that the hapa girls and hapa guys on the links you listed look Hispanic, unless their parents are Hispanic/mixed Hispanic. I think you just have Hispanics on the brain.

Or are you just trying to say that Asians and Hispanic people look alike? Because they sure don't, to me. Of course, that discussion will be chopped and sent to the Histories forum.

[Filiprish]

Ah, so YOU are the they you were referring to. Frankly, you are the first person to ever say I could pass for Hispanic. I don't think so, and certainly it has never been brought up before. Interesting.
No, they are anthropologists.

Because you're not talking about same race preference, you are saying that looking like one race grants a person (who is not of that race) the ability to pick up women of that race due to shallow surface appearance. What I said was that it's sexist and racist to generalize that just looking like a race will make a woman accept you as that romantically.
No, I wasn't. H_M obviously prefers Asian girls but he can't attract any. I was just saying that he should broaden his horizons b/c I know that young Hispanics and Asians in Texas, and throughout the US, tend to get along. He shouldn't limit himself to Asians. I, like most Hapas I know, always get mistaken for Hispanic. We have discussions about this all the time. H_M being Hapa would allow him to fit in better with Hispanics than otherwise. Besides, living in Texas he doesn't have much a choice but to get along with Hispanics.

No, looking alike doesn't break barriers. I am most often mistaken for being 100% caucasian, and there's still a barrier. Japanese and Koreans look alike, and believe me, there's a barrier there too.
Ok, looking alike can break barriers.

And I never said minorities can't relate with other minorities, nor did that come up until this last post. Ironic that you think I'm the one blowing things out of proportion. Don't twist my words to misrepresent my actual views, it's cheap and beneath you.
Yes, you didn't say that, BUT that was the basis of my advice to H_M.

As for respect, your general attitude since you've arrived has been one of little if any respect for the rules of this site and it's moderators.
I treat everyone here as my equal, and I definitely don't give homage to mods. We are all equals here. Yes, I've had my run-ins with a few mods. But who here hasn't? Sorry if anyone here feels threatened my me.

You've got to be joking me. So everyone you see, basically, looks Hispanic, no matter if they are black, white, or Asian? I think it's pretty fair to say that this is your own opinion that the hapa girls and hapa guys on the links you listed look Hispanic, unless their parents are Hispanic/mixed Hispanic. I think you just have Hispanics on the brain.
Those pics that I posted aren't the best to illustrate my point. I'm lazy. Those were the first I found. Nevertheless, if you looked at a group photo of Hispanics and Hapas you wouldn't be hard-pressed tell which is which?

Or are you just trying to say that Asians and Hispanic people look alike? Because they sure don't, to me. Of course, that discussion will be chopped and sent to the Histories forum.
No.

Btw, would you have problem with being mistaken for Hispanic? I sense some Hapas do because Hispanics are stereotyped as low-income, agricultural workers.

[rice cracker]

No, they are anthropologists.

Are they now? How vague, still.


No, I wasn't. H_M obviously prefers Asian girls but he can't attract any. I was just saying that he should broaden his horizons b/c I know that young Hispanics and Asians in Texas, and throughout the US, tend to get along. He shouldn't limit himself to Asians. I, like most Hapas I know, always get mistaken for Hispanic. We have discussions about this all the time. H_M being Hapa would allow him to fit in better with Hispanics than otherwise. Besides, living in Texas he doesn't have much a choice but to get along with Hispanics.

You were not just saying that, you threw out a generalized statement and have been back-peddling since to make it sound politically correct. You seem to do that a lot, use your own frame of reference to generalize ALL hapas and, in this case, Hispanic women. I suggest you keep this in mind in your future posts and try to refrain from doing that. It's inflammatory, to say the least.

Yes, you didn't say that, BUT that was the basis of my advice to H_M.

You were directly questioning me, implying that I belive minorities cannot relate with each other.


I treat everyone here as my equal, and I definitely don't give homage to mods. We are all equals here. Yes, I've had my run-ins with a few mods. But who here hasn't? Sorry if anyone here feels threatened my me.

Believe me, you're not a threat, intellectual or otherwise. Homage has not been asked for, so don't act persecuted because you think of yourself as a nonconformist.


Those pics that I posted aren't the best to illustrate my point. I'm lazy. Those were the first I found. Nevertheless, if you looked at a group photo of Hispanics and Hapas you wouldn't be hard-pressed tell which is which?

Probably not, unless there were Asian/Hispanic mixes or Hispanic/other mixes. It's pretty easy to tell BeTheReds apart from the guys hanging out in front of the Mexican drugstore.

Btw, would you have problem with being mistaken for Hispanic? I sense some Hapas do because Hispanics are stereotyped as low-income, agricultural workers.

Maybe the hapas you know and use to generalize the rest of us do, but my peeve is people trying to force an ethnicity on me, for example insisting I am native American or Russian. So if someone casually asks if I am Hispanic, I am not bothered because the race they believe I am is stereotyped in a certain way, it would be because they are insisting I look/am/MUST BE Hispanic even though I deny it, or the asker is hinting at his own prejudices against that race.

It occurs to me that this thread, not that great to begin with, has outlived it's usefulness by far, since all it has become is a breeding ground for generalizations and misconceptions. Closing.

[SunWuKong]

That is blatantly clear. You mentioned Latin America and I made a comment in response. Perhaps it would have been better to just post that comment by itself to avoid confusion.


Yes. Yes. I have. Not really, if I recall correctly Hispanics tend to have brown skin, hair and eyes.

Look at these...

http://ase.tufts.edu/latinocenter/images/04-05/9-01%20OpenHouse/5Signisup.jpg

http://ase.tufts.edu/latinocenter/images/04-05/9-06%20JPTrip/9ODC.jpg

http://www.salsaknights.com/photos/hispanic_fest/images/Backstage%20at%20the%20Hispanic%20Fest.jpg

Then these...

http://www.hapas.com/hapagirls.asp?page=1

http://www.hapas.com/hapaguys.asp?page=1

Even Blasians tend to look like Hispanics with African-ancestary. I'll find some pics that further illustrate this.

actually i think they look more like they're Southeast Asian or even Middle Eastern. and the second chick from the left on the last pic looks like she's black.

but you know what, you might as well just say that hapas can look like anything exclusively between Nordic and African, because Latinos themselves tend to have a wide range of phenotypes.


EDIT: oops didn't notice this thread was closed.