Bad Hapa poetry

[thaite]

I'm in a mood today. so I'm gonna pick on Hapa Poetry. You know the kind I mean. You always see it on some website, or every week or so somebody posts to a listserv some really crappy poem about their hapa experience, realization and how they came to be the sum of their parts. It's really quite hideous, you should read some. I'm not going to post any of the ones I've read because I don't want to get my ass kicked. Instead, I'm gonna write my own and post it later. You guys do the same.



example of bad hapa poetry

My dad says clean the table. My mom says do the dishes. Oh how I'm torn. Two disparate worlds in this kitchen. The macaroni floats in the dishwater as I wipe off the chopsticks and I think "How strange, and yet so normal -- for me that is." Because nobody knows the trouble I see, nobody knows my sorrow. When you're hapa.

[rice cracker]

Wow, that is pretty bad. Where does one go to find more poetry like this?

Kimchi Hamburger
by rice cracker

I am a hamburger
Meat burnt
On a bun
I am plain
But ubiquitous
Look closer
Something different
Instead of lettuce there is kimchi
How unique
How strange
You won't see that on any menu
Would you eat
Such a burger?
Or do you reject what you don't understand?

[coagulated fat]

lol thaite. i know exactly what you mean, to the extent that i wonder if you secretly follow me around, living my life and meeting the people i meet.

This is satire gold.
Wow, that is pretty bad. Where does one go to find more poetry like this?

Kimchi Hamburger
by rice cracker

I am a hamburger
Meat burnt
On a bun
I am plain
But ubiquitous
Look closer
Something different
Instead of lettuce there is kimchi
How unique
How strange
You won't see that on any menu
Would you eat
Such a burger?
Or do you reject what you don't understand?

[BeTheReds]

Wow, that is pretty bad. Where does one go to find more poetry like this?

Kimchi Hamburger
by rice cracker

I am a hamburger
Meat burnt
On a bun
I am plain
But ubiquitous
Look closer
Something different
Instead of lettuce there is kimchi
How unique
How strange
You won't see that on any menu
Would you eat
Such a burger?
Or do you reject what you don't understand?


I've seen you in Lotteria in Korea.

The Best of Both Worlds (by BeTheReds)

I stand upon the mountain looking down on the world.
The people look like ants, and their minds act accordingly.
For I am enlightened and see the other world.
And they fight over little things, over what belongs to red and what belongs to black.
So I attack.
Where's your little ant hill now?

Don't you understand you fools?
I am me, me me me!
Without me, there is no truce.
Without love and cultural understanding there is no me.
Cuz I am the key!

So it hurts me when you kill each other.
As if my hand slapped my own handsome face.
Don't you understand?
Don't you see?

You need me oh foolish world!

[rice cracker]

I've seen you in Lotteria in Korea.

Baby, it's metaphor for how I am familiar yet exotic.


The Best of Both Worlds (by BeTheReds)

I stand upon the mountain looking down on the world.
The people look like ants, and their minds act accordingly.
For I am enlightened and see the other world.
And they fight over little things, over what belongs to red and what belongs to black.
So I attack.
Where's your little ant hill now?

Don't you understand you fools?
I am me, me me me!
Without me, there is no truce.
Without love and cultural understanding there is no me.
Cuz I am the key!

So it hurts me when you kill each other.
As if my hand slapped my own handsome face.
Don't you understand?
Don't you see?

You need me oh foolish world!

*wipes tear*

[NotAsian]

Whatever made you think crap poetry only applies to Hapas? Hapas don't have a monopoly on rubbish poetry ;) I read a much worse poem by the mother of an autistic boy - it was so dire I couldn't read it without cringing.

If there's one thing that is characteristic of rubbish poetry, no matter what the subject matter, it has to be sheer uninformativeness. Such poems almost always state the bleeding obvious (for example the first two poems in this topic: "Well here I am, I'm a Hapa and hey - look at all the DIFFERENT STUFF that's here TOGETHER!!") in the form of an excrutiating metaphor. Throw something in at the end about nobody understanding you and you're done. Remember not to include anything like "insight" or anything :p

Not that I'm criticisng your poetry or anything - it was supposed to be rubbish, right? ;) I just thought I'd get a discussion going about what *makes* poems like these crap (although what I've said above holds for pretty much any subject matter, I think).

[BeTheReds]

Whatever made you think crap poetry only applies to Hapas? Hapas don't have a monopoly on rubbish poetry ;) I read a much worse poem by the mother of an autistic boy - it was so dire I couldn't read it without cringing.

If there's one thing that is characteristic of rubbish poetry, no matter what the subject matter, it has to be sheer uninformativeness. Such poems almost always state the bleeding obvious (for example the first two poems in this topic: "Well here I am, I'm a Hapa and hey - look at all the DIFFERENT STUFF that's here TOGETHER!!") in the form of an excrutiating metaphor. Throw something in at the end about nobody understanding you and you're done. Remember not to include anything like "insight" or anything :p

Not that I'm criticisng your poetry or anything - it was supposed to be rubbish, right? ;) I just thought I'd get a discussion going about what *makes* poems like these crap (although what I've said above holds for pretty much any subject matter, I think).

This discussion is about making fun of stupid hapas in their development phase, so that we enlightened hapas can feel better about our own insecurities. It isn't about poetry.

[SunWuKong]

how old are these people that usually write that stuff? because a lot of teenagers can be confused about things (and thus write bad poetry) and i can only imagine that being mixed would be a part of that.

[BeTheReds]

how old are these people that usually write that stuff? because a lot of teenagers can be confused about things (and thus write bad poetry) and i can only imagine that being mixed would be a part of that.


You're probably right.

I'd say they are mostly 9th and 10th graders.

[SynRG]

This discussion is about making fun of stupid hapas in their development phase, so that we enlightened hapas can feel better about our own insecurities. It isn't about poetry.

Oh, you people are just so mean!! **runs away and cries**


Seriously though. I kinda feel bad making fun of people that are just trying to express themselves, I mean even if they're doing it in a shitty/lame way.. it's not like their trying to write a book and sell it. The "hapa experience" is very real <swiftly dodges flying tomato>.. haps dont' grow up the same as everyone else especially little kids.. their family experience is unique <whoa that one was close> and sometimes their depression/anger/anxiety isn't understood by anyone else they know.. <yeek! ducks> so they have to resort to trying to express that "woe is me" in some sort of artistic way <I'm getting outta here, y'all can't catch me, i'm the gingerbread man woohoo!>

:P :P ;) I still love you guys.

[rice cracker]

Oh, you people are just so mean!! **runs away and cries**


Seriously though. I kinda feel bad making fun of people that are just trying to express themselves, I mean even if they're doing it in a shitty/lame way.. it's not like their trying to write a book and sell it. The "hapa experience" is very real <swiftly dodges flying tomato>.. haps dont' grow up the same as everyone else especially little kids.. their family experience is unique <whoa that one was close> and sometimes their depression/anger/anxiety isn't understood by anyone else they know.. <yeek! ducks> so they have to resort to trying to express that "woe is me" in some sort of artistic way <I'm getting outta here, y'all can't catch me, i'm the gingerbread man woohoo!>

:P :P ;) I still love you guys.

But bad poetry is to be mocked, is it not? :confused:

[mr. x]

this is an ode to a hapa
who went to the valley of napa
she said that "im asian"
but with lack of persuasion
cuz they just called her a cracka

[Faithless]

Shiiiit!

I'm glad I got all my angst out before there were blogs for me to write-in and for you all to make fun of. :frown: Because --

One day I slit my yellow-and-undefined wrists
Just to see what color I would bleed
And I as crumbled to the floor, writhing
I mumbled "how sad to be mixed up me."

[rice cracker]

Shiiiit!

I'm glad I got all my angst out before there were blogs for me to write-in and for you all to make fun of. :frown: Because --

One day I slit my yellow-and-undefined wrists
Just to see what color I would bleed
And I as crumbled to the floor, writhing
I mumbled "how sad to be mixed up me."

Aww.

I'm mixed
Not mixed up
I know who I am
I eat rice with my Spam
I hate when people point and whisper at me
Can't they just stop trying to label what I am and just accept me?
God, I just hate when fuckers try to pigeon hole my existance
IT MAKES ME SO MAD
JUST GO TO FUCKING HELL YOU ASSHATS

[SunWuKong]

I eat rice with my Spam


actually a lot of non-mixed Asian people do that. i especially like spam and kimchi sushi.

[rice cracker]

actually a lot of non-mixed Asian people do that. i especially like spam and kimchi sushi.

I was lying, I don't eat Spam.

[mr. x]

im not hapa but

they ask me
when i order a burger
do you want rice with that?
and i then i die a thousand deaths

[SynRG]

But bad poetry is to be mocked, is it not? :confused:

Ah, but BTR said it wasn't about the poetry................ that's the only thing i was really getting at :wink:

[BeTheReds]

Ah, but BTR said it wasn't about the poetry................ that's the only thing i was really getting at :wink:


I still maintain that it isn't.

And frankly, I'm getting pissed at all you non hapas coming in here and making bad hapa poetry.

[coagulated fat]

how old are these people that usually write that stuff? because a lot of teenagers can be confused about things (and thus write bad poetry) and i can only imagine that being mixed would be a part of that.
I know at least 2 seniors at my college who have done this.

[mr. x]

I still maintain that it isn't.

And frankly, I'm getting pissed at all you non hapas coming in here and making bad hapa poetry.
er, what if we made good hapa poetry?

all mixed up inside
duno how to hide
the fact that i have two races
fighting within my spaces
where two worlds collide

:rolleyes:

yeah that wasnt really good

[SunWuKong]

And frankly, I'm getting pissed at all you non hapas coming in here and making bad hapa poetry.


you should feel free to regulate however you want then.

[>:^|]

Spam musubi
Is right for me.
A blend of east and west
You know that I'm the best
Except for poetry.

[rice cracker]

Hapa pride
Makes me snide
You're not so lucky
Your parents made fucky
Think you're special? Denied.

Edit: Damn, makes me want to start a new thread called "Good Hapa Poetry" and post this in there. :biggrin:

[mr. x]

you maybe a poetic hapa
but not quite a battle rappa (mispelling of the word rapper)
you wont quite fit in
with those of pure asian skin
but dont hang around the kappa kappa kappa (kappa is the greek letter for k, three kappas = kkk, kkk = klu klux klan, a racist hate group made up primarily of whites, white people are of european descent, europe is a continent full of blonde haired people)

[Faithless]

A hapa haiku:

Asian and other
I am the best of both worlds
One part Charlie Chan

[Shuriken]

Russell, Dean, Ms. Krusiec,
Why are you so ex-ot-ic?

You're part-Asian? That is nice.
Now we hire Mr. Pryce.

[rotrab]

Wow, that is pretty bad. Where does one go to find more poetry like this?

Kimchi Hamburger
by rice cracker

I am a hamburger
Meat burnt
On a bun
I am plain
But ubiquitous
Look closer
Something different
Instead of lettuce there is kimchi
How unique
How strange
You won't see that on any menu
Would you eat
Such a burger?
Or do you reject what you don't understand?

Honest to gosh, that reads like Shonen Knife lyrics.

Ha! That reads like bad hapaphile or Asia-phile poetry. :tongue:

That might make a good thread!

Here's mine:

Everybody calls me a hapa
Just cuz I got a white papa
Burgers and rice is all very nice
But this poem is so bad I should stoppa

[kimpossible]

Irish Japanese
my crest is a shamrock mon
potato sushi


Thank you.

[rice cracker]

My eyes are bleeding.

Keep up the good(?) work. :)

[kimpossible]

Play Oh Danny Boy
on the shakuhachi please
in kilt and geta

kee-rist these are bad

[rice cracker]

Seaweed. Rice.
Peanut butter. Jelly.
White Bread. Pajun.
Two sides to every coin.
Each coin a different currency.
Do I pay with won?
Do I pay with dollars?
NOBODY FUCKING UNDERSTANDS ME!


*cough* Sorry, got a little emotional on that one.

I got more. It's officially a sickness now.


Like white-capped ocean waves
Crashing on Korea's penninsula
Two color blind lovers
Come together in totally non-racist harmony
Their open minded minds
Revel in how multi-cultural their
Rainbow-hued offspring will be
Oh to be so happy!
Oh to be so hapa!
Lucky lucky are we
The chosen ones of totally non-racist destiny!

[kimpossible]

You just wait until I figure out what to do with phrases samurai bagpipes and ninja leprechaun. Oh yeah, we'll see what's what then.



I got more. It's officially a sickness now.


Like white-capped ocean waves
Crashing on Korea's penninsula
Two color blind lovers
Come together in totally non-racist harmony
Their open minded minds
Revel in how multi-cultural their
Rainbow-hued offspring will be
Oh to be so happy!
Oh to be so hapa!
Lucky lucky are we
The chosen ones of totally non-racist destiny!

k, nevermind because i posted before i saw this one. you win.

[Irezumi Kiss]

You just wait until I figure out what to do with phrases samurai bagpipes
Samurai bagpipes
Got nuthin' on jinro & crackpipes
Jeet kune do versus fistfights
On my mean streets even Hyundais got broke tailights

[rice cracker]

You just wait until I figure out what to do with phrases samurai bagpipes and ninja leprechaun. Oh yeah, we'll see what's what then.


Girl, this needs to be fleshed out into a screenplay. Leprechaun 7: The Last Samurai.


k, nevermind because i posted before i saw this one. you win.

Just imagine it with new age flute music with vaguely ethnic female wailing vocals. That's my vision for this piece.

[kimpossible]

Just imagine it with new age flute music with vaguely ethnic female wailing vocals. That's my vision for this piece.

I imagined the silhouette of an embraced couple at the beach in the horizon at dusk, looking out upon the water.

[thaite]

oh man, this is hilarious.

[Chad]

poetry sucks... even worse are when there are the lame poets in educational videos

[deez nuts]

Hi G.I. five dolla make you holla
G.I. no like to wear rubbah
nine month later out comes eight pounds of hapa blubber.

[kimpossible]

fifty's kinda high.

[deez nuts]

fifty's kinda high.


yes i changed it to five dolla. i was thinking of the going rate for a 50/50 from the run of the mill night crawler nowadays in ny.

[kimpossible]

yes i changed it to five dolla. i was thinking of the going rate for a 50/50 from the run of the mill night crawler nowadays in ny.

I'd charge you fifty. But for fifty I'd wear a blonde wig for you.

[applehead]

you sent me in here to read THAT?

[537]

Irish Japanese
my crest is a shamrock mon
potato sushi


Thank you.


Funniest. Haiku. Evar.

[BeTheReds]

Hi G.I. five dolla make you holla
G.I. no like to wear rubbah
nine month later out comes eight pounds of hapa blubber.


Hey man, I'm not offended by what you wrote, but I'm sure there are some who would be.

It's one thing for a hapa to say those kinds of things in jest, but it's something entirely different for non-hapas to say them. It could be misinterpreted that you actually mean it.

So like I said in a previous post in this thread, please only write hapa poetry in this thread if you are a hapa.

I'm not gonna delete what you wrote, but I'd like you to put it into perspective.

Lets say there was some other message board with a few Asian members and mostly white members, and an Asian dude decided to make a "bad Asian poetry" thread. Then tons of the white members jump in and write poems based on the worst stereotypes of Asians. Wouldn't some Asians find that offensive?

I probably would.

[deez nuts]

i extend my sincerest apologies to anybody, especially to all you hapa people, that may have found my poem about american G.I-asian hooker love offensive.

[kimpossible]

i extend my sincerest apologies to anybody, especially to all you hapa people, that may have found my poem about american G.I-asian hooker love offensive.

It's still gonna be 50 bucks if you want the blonde wig. No discount.

[Faithless]

I wear a hachimaki on my head
To make me feel Japanese
I wear Abercrombie rags
To make me feel like other whities
I wear Kanji covered shirts
Because it makes me feel at ease
I try to talk in Valley speak
But they still say, "Hey, say something Chinese!"

[Sunflare]

:ahem: :clears throat: :feels a burst of inspiration:

:cocks hat backwards starts flexing:

:mad:

Oh, how much longer will this shit last,
How many times will will these boneheads ask,
If I am Spanish? Before I get mad and kick their ass,

:mad:

To you dumbfucks it may seem amazing !!
that I am a fucking mixed up ass-mutt Blasian !!
Deal with it cause I am not fucking playing !!

:mad: :DJ scratchin' on the wheels of steels:

Yes asshole! That is my goddam real name!
You are such a freaking pain, How many times must I fucking explain,
That I have no American name but am Chinese in name,
and not sum shit translation from zhongwen.com some sell-out made.

:mad:

Please I'm begging you. Do not call me a fucking asiaphile. .
I'm telling you. I only date Asian females only once in a while. . .
I am part Chinese and that's my muthafuckin' style...

:mad:

You don't know who you are fucking with, a true ghetto child. .
Now please get the GTFO of my face before I go wild..
and -- pound your sorry ganjin rice chasing ass into a shitpile.

:DJ throws drum loop:

One. :biggrin: : throws peace sign :

(Yeah. I got some issues. Maybe I should seek some professional help :starts sobbing uncontrollably:)

[popculturepooka]

I woke 6 months before my born day
I’m 19 years of blessin’
The essence of adolescent stressin’
the body that I’m left in
My reflection, my heritage, is one of two opposite directions
But not one any less than
The media images that crept in
Slept in
Were etched in
And took over without exceptions
Flexin’ these brown arms, that look so much like my mothers’
Stretchin’ a language, that people told me I shouldn’t speak, because it sounds too much like the others’
Fuckers, those others are MY others, MY sisters and brothers,
Think you can tell me who I can be, you’re out of luck, er
More like…you can’t get to me, as a blasian I was raised in
A house where black-a-nese
Was instilled. I won’t take your crap-on-knees
Or that you can’t see the forest for the lack-of-trees
Ill stand up
Ack-its-me!

Breakdancing while listening to taiko
Rapping to enka
Eating some grits with some tonkatsu on the side

Ijou desu.

P.S. Look how I even threw in some teenage angst for ya'll. :)

[SunWuKong]

i think some of you maybe don't understand the point of this thread...

[Sunflare]

^ You got no soul, my brutha. C'mon, show sum love !!

[thaite]

LOL

i love this thread.

[popculturepooka]

i think some of you maybe don't understand the point of this thread...

isn't it to right bad poetry about confused hapas "stuck between worlds" so other could make fun of them?

i think mine was pretty bad.

i supposed i could always write some emo hapa poetry...

/wrists.

[Sunflare]

i supposed i could always write some emo hapa poetry...

/wrists.

No, STOP! Your life is too precious to end it all like that. Want to talk about it ? :concerned:

[kimpossible]

i supposed i could always write some emo hapa poetry...

/wrists.


more!! more!!

i think my next one will feature beer brands. or maybe corned beef and cabbage in a rice cooker.

[Sunflare]

^ maybe catfish in blackbean sauce ? :P

[Sunflare]

:burst of creativity:

Have you people ever heard from the statistics recently,
That mixed Asians are taking over the world definetely ?

We never asked to be born the way that we are,
But here we are living and we will suceed in life, we will go far.
In this crazy Earth strive to live and shine like superstars,
for the recognition of our identity we will work hard.
We will go far.

American Asians, Crazy Blasians and them Wilding Eurasians,
We are admirable, incredible and simply amazing.
Don't f--k with us because we are simply not playing.
Cross our paths and things will never be the same for you again.

For real. . .

Sometimes we are like ticking bombs that will ignite, we get tight,
When people talk about us with lame stereotypes.
We will not tolerate that s--t, and we are ready to fight with might,
to dispell the lies and the bulls--t hype.

If you respect us, and are down with us we are mad cool :cool: ,
But don't underestimate us because we are not fools,
We will not perform the drop one race rule. F--k you.
We guarantee that if you try to mess with us you will utimately lose.

We are mixed up mutts
That dont give a flying f--k.
Try to play with us, and you will run out of luck,
and f--k yourself up.

Yeah talk that crap about SOW concerning our mothers and our lovers
Talk s--t to us and we will buck shots and get you running for cover.


So just remember that we are like no other,
We are too strong in heart, so why f--king bother ?

We will roll mobb deep work as an united team,
With a positive vibe and with high esteem,
We will enjoy life and will be set free,
to work towards furfillment of our wildest dreams.

Rap is a artistic, poetic expression of angst and struggle, better recognize. Respect. LOL.

[popculturepooka]

As promised....



I saw her under the sakura blossoms
She saw me under the temtous skies
She said, “What are you?”
I said, “I am black and Japanese”
She said, “Oh cool. I’ve never met a black and Asian person.”

And then I ran away
Because she was obviously lying to me
I saw it with my inner eye
She had met a black and Asian person.


ME!!!



I flew like an Arrow from God’s Bowstring
How insensitive the harlot was!
I will not be her first
Like an inanimate object.
Never.

I looked down and saw two halves of my devilish soul
One black, one yellow
I looked up and felt God’s tears for me
It was raining
I looked over my shoulder and saw she of the sakura blossoms
She said, “Oh, did you say black and Japanese? I thought you said black and Chinese”

I had never ran away.

THE WORLD TREMBLED….

Allright, that poem was pretty bad even by emo poetry standards, which is kinda like saying your AIDS is bad by AIDS standards.

[Sunflare]

^That piece of emotionally driven poetry, it touched my heart.

:starts wiping away tears: :pops 50+ hydrocodone pills and chug down a fifth of wisky trying to kill self: :points gun to head:

[kimpossible]

For our son

Who will you be?
Mommy is white... or is she?
Sellout AF/WM on mother's side!
But the thin blood hapa mom married Asian man with Chinese pride!
Mom and Dad might be considered WF/AM, so be at ease.
You're over 62% Asian with mom's extra little dose of Japanese.
Fret not, little guy, what others will think
Because I know the day will come the first time you're called chink.
On that day we'll have an extra long talk about how your races are swirled
And then have a good laugh at them because you'll speak Mandarin when China takes over the world.



Good grief. I have to show this to my husband. I'm not sure I can make it any worse. It may alter reality as we know it.

[thaite]

My testes are tingling.

[Sunflare]

Me and my Chinese dad goes to Chinatown: A makeshift limerick

-By Crystal Clear.

Based on a true story.

I remember now. . . .

When I was five, early in the morning, I wake up with a frown.
I try to hide and shit and make sure that I’m not around nowhere to be found.
My dad used to take my sorry Blasian ass on the smelly subway train,
By force over the Manhattan Bridge to blasted fucking Chinatown.

Here we go, now it’s midday. Off to the shops we go!
In the jeweler shops, beautiful carved pieces of Jade, Diamonds and Gold.
In the shops there are crowds. The crazy stupid ass stories yet untold.
Watch intently now as the shit hits the fan and the freaking bullshit unfolds.

Me and my dad are in the antique shops exercising great caution and care.
Beautiful artifacts, pottery, clothing, and braindead clueless tourists everywhere.
I can freaking lose count of all the goddamn WM/AF couples that appear out of nowhere,
Every block we walk we have to walk in sweat, blood, tears and utter freaking fear.

Then off to Mott Street for lunch! The wonderful smells of good home cookin’ food!
The white people, the stupid smiles. Wow! They look like stupid idiotic fools.
They can’t read the damn menus for shit; for food they don’t know wtf to choose.
Look! There goes a homeless person outside with his grocery cart chugging on some booze.

The young Chinese ladies look so pretty and fair,
They would kneel down, look at me and play with my soft curly hair,
Fascinated by my alien like appearance, me to Tiger Woods they start to compare.
I just freeze, shit-scared, confused as fuck, and in utter despair.

They tell me, “你 是 很 可爱! ＂(Ni shi hen keai!)
They would look at me affectionately. I would look into their dark ominous eyes.
Their pretty smiles shone like morning sunlight, so bright.
I would become totally memorized in ecstasy, wonder and delight.


They are so gorgeous; they have me under a magic spell.
I feel lightheaded; my knees are wobbling like gel,
I’m blushing and other things physically happening to me
to you guys reading this crap I can’t really tell.

The way they spoke to me in Mandarin Chinese, I couldn’t understand. . . .
I tried to keep up with it the best way that I can,
But the way is sounded; it was so beautiful to the point of tears,
Hotter than a British accent,
It was like music, maybe phone sex, to my ears.

So tired now. It’s late. The sun is finally going down.
“Time to go home now, you mutt!”, my Dad tells me with a frown,
I’m so happy now that I’m getting the hell out of Chinatown!
Away from all the asiaphiles in the shadows lurking around,

This experience is too rough. How much more of this shit can I take?
I fell asleep on the train in grief. My dad bitch slaps my stupid ass awake.
I say fuck him and eat up all of his preserved plums and black bean cakes.
Again, my Chinese dad bitch slaps me in the face.

My Chinese dad with his sorry ass Blasian son, who is only five,
Holy shit, I barely made it back out of this place in time alive.
Back on the smelly subway train again over the Manhattan Bridge.
Back home to our shack in Brooklyn to my lonely white padded room.
To dream of being, speaking, and dating Chinese in Manhattan Chinatown.

Now I dream about the things to come, I don’t remember the past anymore.......
A time when I am out of school with a good decent job, and not dirt rock bottom poor.
Married to a fine Asian woman, not some nasty gold diggin' hoochie mama whore.
Living in a nice condomenium and not in a shabby roach infested firetrap under a sleazy slumlord.

I dream of the day of taking my own son and my wife, in our car over the Manhattan Bridge,
Lovely Mixed Asian married couple with a little handsome Blasian child to Chinatown.
My strong little son, handsome little Asian American dude and proud.
My little son learning what his beautiful Chinese heritage is about.
Working hard, learning to speak Mandarin Chinese by leaps and bounds.

[popculturepooka]

For our son

Who will you be?
Mommy is white... or is she?
Sellout AF/WM on mother's side!
But the thin blood hapa mom married Asian man with Chinese pride!
Mom and Dad might be considered WF/AM, so be at ease.
You're over 62% Asian with mom's extra little dose of Japanese.
Fret not, little guy, what others will think
Because I know the day will come the first time you're called chink.
On that day we'll have an extra long talk about how your races are swirled
And then have a good laugh at them because you'll speak Mandarin when China takes over the world.



Good grief. I have to show this to my husband. I'm not sure I can make it any worse. It may alter reality as we know it.

lol. Swirled races.

[Sunflare]

And then have a good laugh at them because you'll speak Mandarin when China takes over the world.

Definitely putting my young child in a Chinese immersion school to learn to speak Mandarin Chinese like a pro if I decide to I have any. Heck yeah.

[BeTheReds]

Classic thread.

[Sunflare]

The thread that will never die. This thread is immortal and indestructable.

[BeTheReds]

It really mocks hapas going through the identity crisis. Lots of fun when other hapas do it, but when other people come in and just try to be funny, it's not funny.

[Sunflare]

We hapas got it hard so we gotta just laugh it off sometimes. This thread provides a good opportunity to do so.