out-hapa'ing among Asians

[Seamus]

I know it's a bad policy to talk about forums on other websites, but I'm totally obsessed with reading the posts of these two girls posting on this hapa website. I'm full Chinese, but started reading stuff on this forum one day and now I'm hooked, mainly because I always want to see what stupid thing these girls are going to say next, and to see the ensuing drama when they get smacked down. I know I'm a loser and need a better way to spend my free time.

Anyway, apparently, they think being that being mixed is so hip or whatever (as opposed to just another fucking combination of human genes with ensuing social implications, both good and bad), and are always talking about how European they look and trying to all establish their "credentials" by citing vague, unsubstantiated (and probably imaginary) European ancestry. Apparently, much of the discussion is centered around looks rather than the reality of whether these people actually have any racial diversity in their upbringing or families' culture. The worst part is that the local denizens on this forum actually ENCOURAGE this sort of ridiculous behavior.

Anyway, I don't know know what the point of this. I guess I just wanted to vent. Perhaps this belongs in the Whatever thread. Man, some people are so lame.

[BeTheReds]

I know it's a bad policy to talk about forums on other websites, but I'm totally obsessed with reading the posts of these two girls posting on this hapa website. I'm full Chinese, but started reading stuff on this forum one day and now I'm hooked, mainly because I always want to see what stupid thing these girls are going to say next, and to see the ensuing drama when they get smacked down. I know I'm a loser and need a better way to spend my free time.

Anyway, apparently, they think being that being mixed is so hip or whatever (as opposed to just another fucking combination of human genes with ensuing social implications, both good and bad), and are always talking about how European they look and trying to all establish their "credentials" by citing vague, unsubstantiated (and probably imaginary) European ancestry. Apparently, much of the discussion is centered around looks rather than the reality of whether these people actually have any racial diversity in their upbringing or families' culture. The worst part is that the local denizens on this forum actually ENCOURAGE this sort of ridiculous behavior.

Anyway, I don't know know what the point of this. I guess I just wanted to vent. Perhaps this belongs in the Whatever thread. Man, some people are so lame.

I think it belongs here. But please know that the actions of a few do not dictate the actions of everyone else and all that otehr wonderful PC stuff.

People like that certainly are annoying though.

[rice cracker]

How are they out-hapaing others? It sounds like they're out-whiteying.

[missmeow]

Yeah, if they were out-happa'ing each other, I would think they would be trying to act more Asian pride-ish.

[Seamus]

I chose the title partly to make it symmetrical to an earlier thread. Also, I don't think these chicks want to be white; they just want to be seen as "exotic" or some shit like that. As if simply being Asian weren't "exotic" enough.

[rice cracker]

Ah, gotcha.

[Ron]

That kind of stuff usually annoys me.

They want to declare they're hapa without having to face any of the identity issues, culture clashes on both sides of the family, metamorphis (sp?), not being "in" with some of the Asian American Azn crowd, even among us Asian-looking hapas, not fitting in with any group, etc. How many of us here never had a family renunion where both sides of the family, mother and father's, met together. How many of us here went from White to Asian looking or Asian to White looking growing up? How many of us here look Hispanic or Arab?

These people who pretend that they're hapa really annoy me in the sense that they're essentially racially posing as something they're not, for their own stereotypical benefits, without having to assume all the good and the bad. What if I started pretending that I was part Hispanic in an effort to try to make everything think I'm all "exotic and special". Many Hispanics would be angry at me. What if an African American or White person claimed to be part Asian even though they fully knew they aren't, in an attempt to look "exotic", etc, but otherwise, not having any idea of what it's really like. We would be angry, wouldn't we?

Being whitewashed is one thing, but going to the extent of falsely claiming to be "partly of European ancestry" is going way too far.

[Seamus]

These two girls aren't out-and-out lying. They come from countries that were colonized a long time ago, and say that they know they must have some European ancestor way back simply because they look vaguely "Caucasian" and came from these countries. They are simply speculating, and of course, these imaginary ancestors have had no impact on their lives whatsoever, though they'd like to believe so. And then they accuse their parents of trying to cover things up because Asians are supposedly so evil and obsessed with the whole racial purity thing. And then everyone at the forums jumps on the bandwagon and is all "well you know, Asians ARE very obsessed with racial purity and look down on impure people, so maybe her parents ARE just covering things up." If I were a parent to one of these kids, I would seriously be wondering what was up. It's really kind of weird.

I met someone like this in real life. She was Filipino, was 1/16 "spanish" and couldn't stop talking about it. Needless to say, we didn't last more than one date because she was so f'ing boring.

[BeTheReds]

As if simply being Asian weren't "exotic" enough.


Well I don't think it's really all that exotic to be Asian....

[Seamus]

I'm exotic, damn it. Exoticise me.

[Ron]

Does this forum happen to be hapas.com or eurasiannation.com?

[BeTheReds]

Does this forum happen to be hapas.com or eurasiannation.com?


No badmouthing other online forums by name.

[Seamus]

Okay, then I shan't tell. I'll let you take a wild guess.

[Ron]

I'll take a look :smile:

[fon-fon]

I can't help but somewhat feel sorry for those girls. There was a short time where I didn't know who I was, so I clung to the idea that I was "different" or "exotic" to try and make me feel better about myself. I chalk that up to a sort of "culture shock" I had experienced when my family would move to different areas...

Los Angeles: I was born. yay

San Francisco (age 1 to age 8) I felt accepted, I was at peace. No concept of racism or culture. Just being a regular, snot-nosed kid.

Hayward, CA (age 8 to 13): Learned about the uglyness of racism and the trivial life of being bi-racial. I was a bit of a "white-denier" as being white in the neighborhood I lived in was not a good thing. "Hey white-boy, I'm gonna kick your ass." Told everyone I was Chinese or Indonesian. I had bond hair, but mysteriously it darkened as I grew older. Just as well, it saved me from beat-downs. I strived to be more Asian.

Henderson, NV (age 14-18): Jesus. Talk about "culture shock." Where I had lived in a neighborhood predominantly of blacks & hispanics where it wasn't good to be white, now our family had moved to Henderson, Nevada. Total change: everyone is white. Suddenly I was being called a "chink" whereas before I was "white boy." My freshman year in school, I was very rebelious, cursed at any hick who looked at me wrong, damned white people to hell (except dad of course :wink: ). But as time dragged on, I wanted to be accepted, so I found myself trying "to be white." This screwed me up for a bit. I no longer knew who the hell I was. It was maybe in my sophmore year through my junior year of high school where I went through this whole "I'm exotic" phase.

Henderson/Las Vegas (present): Fortunetly I no longer feel that way. I'm happy just being "me." But I think I can sort of understand where some "hapas" get this silly idea in their heads that they're exotic. In my confusion, I used to think that being half white and half asian was it's own race, a superior breed. I truly wonder what has lead those girls into thinking that way... are they just confused like I was, striving to feel better about themselves, or is it something else entirely....

[Ron]

Ohh my goodness, Fon-fon, my family lived in Henderson, Nevada, for a year, and I was called a "chink/gook" too. What you pretty much chalked up as your late middle school to high school experiences in Henderson were exactly how I felt and what I did during my year there. We moved back to the Minnesota suburb I came from. Even though the suburb had more White people, they actually treated me better and I didn't have to fear being called a Chink right in the middle of the school hallway.

I probably would've done the same things you did if we actually stayed there. Fon, what area did/do you live in? I lived around the Green Valley area of Henderson.

[SynRG]

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These two girls aren't out-and-out lying. They come from countries that were colonized a long time ago, and say that they know they must have some European ancestor way back simply because they look vaguely "Caucasian" and came from these countries. They are simply speculating, and of course, these imaginary ancestors have had no impact on their lives whatsoever, though they'd like to believe so. And then they accuse their parents of trying to cover things up because Asians are supposedly so evil and obsessed with the whole racial purity thing. And then everyone at the forums jumps on the bandwagon and is all "well you know, Asians ARE very obsessed with racial purity and look down on impure people, so maybe her parents ARE just covering things up." If I were a parent to one of these kids, I would seriously be wondering what was up. It's really kind of weird.


Hmm. I think i may know which thread you are talking about, if, of course we're talking about the same site (hint: I'm a mod at one of them, so take a wild guess which site I would be talking about :wink:). If it's the OTHER site then I wouldn't know. I post here more than I post there.

If I remember correctly it was an Asian girl who had caucasian features (like hazel eyes or something like that) and was wondering if there was any way she could find out for sure whether she was pure "x-Asian ethnicity" or not.

In this particular instance there were alot of Eurasians who did in fact "jump on the bandwagon" so-to-speak, and I guess, looking at it from a purely Asian perspective, could have been perpetuating a notion that "Asian parents/families are obessessed with racial purity." However there were also arguments against that very notion in the same thread, so it wasn't entirely one-sided.

I just want to point out, however, that there are in fact many Eurasians that have had negative experiences with the full Asian side of their family trying to "hide" or "cover-up" the fact that their kids are Eurasian, even when it's REALLY obvious that they are. It's debatable whether or not this is "right" or "wrong" because of course families of all cultures tend to hide things from their kids for one reason or another.. however, regardless of whether or not a family has the right to keep certain things from their kids, as a Eurasian, to find out that your family is trying to "hide" or is in some way "ashamed" that you are not full-Asian, something totally out of your control... that really mustn't feel very good at all.

Also, I speculate this probably occurs more in 1/4 white 3/4 Asian Eurasians than it does 1/2-1/2 Eurasians. There's a myriad of reasons other than "they're racist! they're trying to hide who i really am from me!!" that this could occur. Some reasons could be cultural (like how if your dad is Korean and your mom is white you are Korean, not half-Korean), others could stem from broken family issues (like if the IR couple broke up when the child was very young and then the Asian parent remarried Asian)..

Anyways, the point is- of course not ALL Asian families are like this... sometimes it can be one or two racist family members with lots of influence instead of the entire family as a whole, BUT- this situation occurs often enough in Asian families with mixed kids that a many of that sites members were able to relate to the poster-in-question's identity questions.. thus I guess I can see where you might have gotten the impression that Eurasians on these "hapa sites" have a notion in their heads that Asian families are racist.. but I can assure you it's not a view that is shared by the entire site.

[Seamus]

You make some valid points, but I disagree that only Asians do this. I'm sure there are plenty of black families that don't like talking about their white ancestry, as well as white families that don't talk about native American or other non-European ancestors. I have a Asian and white friend whose white relatives are always like "you're not THAT Asian. In fact, we don't even think of you as an Asian." As if they're being charitable or something. Some of the white in-laws in our family don't want anything to do with us, even though we never make a big deal about the race of our family members' spouses. A case in point is that my cousin's marrying this white girl next fall, and I think I've heard my grandparents and other relatives mention her ethnicity only like once, when they were describing what she looked like.

The bottom line is, there are bad apples everywhere you look, and I don't think that Asians are intrinsically more racist or anything.

[Ron]

They're not liking the white girl, especially when it's an AM/WF relationship? Interesting, if my future AM son (considering I'll probably marry Asian, he'll be 75% Asian) gets in an IR relationship, I'd be supporting him, in the sense that he's squashing those stereotypes.

[Seamus]

What are you talking about? They DO like her. I think you misread what I wrote. My grandparents are Asian. My cousin's fiancee is white. What I was trying to say is that my grandparents don't make a fuss about her not being Chinese.

[kimpossible]

They're not liking the white girl, especially when it's an AM/WF relationship? Interesting, if my future AM son (considering I'll probably marry Asian, he'll be 75% Asian) gets in an IR relationship, I'd be supporting him, in the sense that he's squashing those stereotypes.

Sorry to be callous, but that's dumb if (in theory) you'd support your child's choice of mate based on some misguided idea that it debunks Asian male stereotypes. It does not take a white female to legitimize an Asian male's masculinity. You're giving them... er us... or them, whatever - a meaning that a relationship should not entail.

Of course my husband has a similar dumb theory. That his supersino sperm will create the ultimate hunka hunka burning euro-asian Adonis that will nail all the hot big-titty blondes he didn't get in college, then magically settle down with a nice Taiwanese girl in his early 30s.

[Ron]

I was tired when writing that. :rolleyes:

[kimpossible]

I was tired when writing that. :rolleyes:


That was an officially cute answer. You will receive your certificate in the mail.

[Ron]

That was an officially cute answer. You will receive your certificate in the mail.

:biggrin: