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View Full Version : Where have you got your penis stuck, today?


Faithless
02-24-2004, 04:37 PM
Come on!

Man got penis stuck in padlock (http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_867923.html)
A Russian man has been told he will have a bent penis for the rest of his life after trapping it in a padlock.

Dylan Thomas: A New Life (http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5744,8446464%255E16951,00.html)
Dylan got his penis stuck in a two-ounce honey pot.

EHRENREICH: The Torture Files: Iraqi Detainees Allege Mistreatment And Abuse (http://www.jihadunspun.com/intheatre_internal.php?article=93787&list=/home.php&)
Another Amnesty informant, a Saudi national named Abdallah Khudhran al-Shamran, alleged that after his arrest in April he “was subjected to beatings and electric shocks. Other torture methods reported included being suspended from his legs and having his penis tied."

hooligan
02-24-2004, 04:39 PM
that sounds awfully painful. and in other news, i got my penis caught in my zipper.

ShortNBitter
02-24-2004, 06:33 PM
that is disgusting. wtf was it doing in a honey pot. not even winnie the pooh loves the bee juice that much!

um yeah zipper.

Hiroshi2
02-24-2004, 08:36 PM
that sounds awfully painful. and in other news, i got my penis caught in my zipper.




LOL I think every dude has done that at some point or another, including myself.........aargh, so painful. Which is part of the reason why I wear sweatpants half the time I go out now. No zipper to get your dick caught up in.

John0101
02-24-2004, 08:43 PM
wait lets say your zipping up your jeans and then your penis got caught in the zipper does that mean you weren't wearing underwear? Or had a boner? Or is it just extremely long?

I bet you guys just weren't wearing underwear.

seanp
02-24-2004, 09:15 PM
oooh i once got stuck but a little bit in the ball's skin not the penis... goddamn... i was so embarassed

mrazntre
02-24-2004, 09:51 PM
Never ever ever... I take great care of my penis and balls.

DragonKnight
02-25-2004, 07:22 AM
wtf was it doing in a honey pot.
Oh where can I go with this? :biggrin:

Cipherous
02-25-2004, 07:29 AM
that is disgusting. wtf was it doing in a honey pot. not even winnie the pooh loves the bee juice that much!

um yeah zipper.


Ouch! the zipper, I remember that shit happened to me when I was a little kid.

kimpossible
02-25-2004, 09:35 AM
I read the most interesting things in the Men's forum. It's like eavesdropping in the locker room.

DragonKnight
02-25-2004, 11:35 AM
I read the most interesting things in the Men's forum. It's like eavesdropping in the locker room.
*stares at the other end of the peep hole*

Tao
02-25-2004, 12:48 PM
where was it stuck in today? your mom that's where!

ShortNBitter
02-25-2004, 04:09 PM
where was it stuck in today? your mom that's where!

o snap! :eek:

Seamus
02-25-2004, 05:08 PM
Warm apple pie.
That's all I have to say.

rice cracker
02-25-2004, 05:44 PM
It took me a little while to realize just how that guy got his ding dong stuck in a padlock. I kept imagining a keyhole... Just what the hell was he thinking?

mrazntre
02-25-2004, 06:14 PM
It took me a little while to realize just how that guy got his ding dong stuck in a padlock. I kept imagining a keyhole... Just what the hell was he thinking?

he was thinking femme bot love. see POST 116:

http://forums.yellowworld.org/showthread.php?t=12652&page=8&pp=15

missmeow
02-25-2004, 09:19 PM
Oh where can I go with this? :biggrin:


Exactly where I was going to go when I read that...

nonamerasian
02-25-2004, 11:40 PM
EHRENREICH: The Torture Files: Iraqi Detainees Allege Mistreatment And Abuse (http://www.jihadunspun.com/intheatre_internal.php?article=93787&list=/home.php&)

Another Amnesty informant, a Saudi national named Abdallah Khudhran al-Shamran, alleged that after his arrest in April he “was subjected to beatings and electric shocks. Other torture methods reported included being suspended from his legs and having his penis tied."

What are they doing? Trying to get secrets by using S&M techniques practiced at home?

Hiroshi2
05-06-2004, 07:38 PM
I just re-read this thread today and thought it needed a bump cause it was pretty funny to me.




Oh man. That "bent penis" shit is hilarious. Imagine the look on that dude's face when the doctors told him that. It was probably something like this - :confused: :eek: :frown:

mr. x
05-06-2004, 09:36 PM
Paris Hilton

not the woman mind you

thaite
05-06-2004, 09:44 PM
Geeze, there's a lot of zombie threads being resurrected.

And I have been known, on occasion, to get my foreskin stuck in the zipper. Bad times.

Fireblade
05-06-2004, 10:38 PM
For some reason I read this as "Where have you got your penis sucked today?"

lethal
05-06-2004, 11:34 PM
And I have been known, on occasion, to get my foreskin stuck in the zipper. Bad times.
Totally Ben Stiller-ish from "Something About Mary"

thaite
05-06-2004, 11:50 PM
I said FORESKIN, not the beans and weenies!

BigLew
05-07-2004, 12:04 AM
I said FORESKIN, not the beans and weenies!Dangers of freeballin'.

Faithless
05-07-2004, 01:22 AM
Not exactly a story on sticking your penis where it don't belong, but the possibilities are endless, like getting your penis stuck on the waxing tape as they wax your pubic hair away "down there" (http://msnbc.msn.com/id/4751816/)

Uncle sticks his own penis in nephews hand. Bailiff! Whack his pee pee... (http://louisville.snitch.com/2004/04/22/uncle)

Flasher claims to women that the reason his penis is out is because it was stuck in his zipper (http://www.smdailyjournal.org/article.cfm?issue=04-27-04&storyID=30273). Stick it in a vice, and it probably would have been more believable.

Hiroshi2
05-07-2004, 09:46 PM
Flasher claims to women that the reason his penis is out is because it was stuck in his zipper (http://www.smdailyjournal.org/article.cfm?issue=04-27-04&storyID=30273). Stick it in a vice, and it probably would have been more believable.




Oh that shit was hilarious.

maxwell
05-12-2004, 05:27 PM
When I was in high school, I put my wee-wee into the vaccuum cleaner. I turned it on and I was hooked.

Faithless
05-12-2004, 05:52 PM
When I was in high school, I put my wee-wee into the vaccuum cleaner. I turned it on and I was hooked.
Ewwww. "Hooked" as in you've been doing it ever since for kicks?

mrazntre
05-12-2004, 08:50 PM
i'm assuming it was a dirt devil ?

Faithless
10-04-2004, 09:57 AM
Romanian mistakenly cuts off penis, dog eats it (http://www.alertnet.org/thenews/newsdesk/L04586293.htm)
BUCHAREST, Oct 4 (Reuters) - A elderly Romanian man mistook his penis for a chicken's neck, cut it off and his dog rushed up and ate it, the state Rompres news agency said on Monday.

It said 67 year-old Constantin Mocanu, from a village near the southeastern town of Galati, rushed out into his yard in his underwear to kill a noisy chicken keeping him awake at night.

"I confused it with the chicken's neck," Mocanu, who was admitted to the emergency hospital in Galati, was quoted as saying. "I cut it ... and the dog rushed and ate it."

Doctors said the man, who was brought in by an ambulance bleeding heavily, was now out of danger.

Kris
10-04-2004, 11:08 AM
why the hell was it hanging out in the first place!!! is it routine for them romanians to cut chicken with their schlong hanging out?!?!?

fossilfuel
10-04-2004, 01:09 PM
He should have just choked that chicken - sigh, I know that was bad :frown:

Hiroshi2
10-04-2004, 03:38 PM
Romanian mistakenly cuts off penis, dog eats it (http://www.alertnet.org/thenews/newsdesk/L04586293.htm)





Damn just when you thought people couldn't be stupider than they already are.




He mistook it for a chicken neck? WTF? And I could just imagine the look on the man's face when the dog came and ate that shit up.

Faithless
10-04-2004, 05:13 PM
why the hell was it hanging out in the first place!!! is it routine for them romanians to cut chicken with their schlong hanging out?!?!?
I think he was sleeping in the nude, and was awoken by a noisy chicken.

Kris
10-04-2004, 05:14 PM
Evolution!!! Hurry the fuck up!!!

Faithless
10-04-2004, 05:15 PM
.
He should have just choked that chicken - sigh, I know that was bad :frown:
Actually, that's probably what he should have done. :wink:

.
Damn just when you thought people couldn't be stupider than they already are.

He mistook it for a chicken neck? WTF? And I could just imagine the look on the man's face when the dog came and ate that shit up.
And it's one of those things where --

He won't make that mistake again.

Unfortunately. :frown:

mrazntre
10-04-2004, 06:10 PM
WHAT THE FUCK?!?!

I guess Romanians don't have any feeling on their bodies?

Hiroshi2
10-04-2004, 07:25 PM
I can't get over the fact that the goddamn dog ate it LOL. I didn't know dogs ate dicks.

Tao
10-04-2004, 09:03 PM
I can't get over the fact that the goddamn dog ate it LOL. I didn't know dogs ate dicks.
bitch was asking for it

nonamerasian
10-05-2004, 12:48 AM
:eek:

I think he was sleeping in the nude, and was awoken by a noisy chicken.

The article said that he had on underwear.

deez nuts
10-05-2004, 07:19 AM
man's best friend my ass.

he should get the last laugh by eating the dog.

Faithless
10-05-2004, 07:19 AM
:eek:

The article said that he had on underwear.
OK, near nude, then.

Must have been wearing boxers, because it's hard (difficult) for one's thingeth to pop out in tighty-whities.

He must have also been holding that chicken close -- which, probably any butcher will tell you, is improper chicken whacking technique.

nonamerasian
10-05-2004, 09:42 AM
Lesson of the day:

Be wary.

A man got his own back on a crayfish which gripped his penis with its pincers by cooking and eating the shellfish.

The 23-year-old Serb had fallen asleep in a shallow pool of water after swimming in a stream near the town of Bar.

But he told Serbian newspaper Glas Javnosi that he woke up in pain and looked down to find a large crayfish - a relative of the lobster - had clasped its pincers around his member.

A passing hiker who heard the young man's cries for help alerted rescue services who managed to force the shellfish to loosen its grip without damaging his penis.

A paramedic said: "The man was lucky as the crayfish could quite easily have caused some damage to the nerves in his penis."

Instead of throwing the crustacean back into the river, the man, who wished to remain anonymous, said he decided to enact his revenge by serving it up for dinner.

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1128274.html?menu=news.quirkies

Faithless
10-05-2004, 09:59 AM
Gawd!

Wonder what sort of dream he had leading up to that event --

Some fine thang playing with his thang and then before you know it, pinch!

Not to mention that in his dream, he probably had his thing against her.

And now he's got this subconscious thing against her.