online relationships.

[amietron]

What are your thoughts on online relationships?
Lemme hear your thoughts and opinions.

[tapestrybabe]

Yes, I do believe you can develope a sense of connection and rapport with people online. Like with this yellow world community, or even with LiveJournal... I feel I have a sense of rapport/connection with people... And I have a tendency to say, I think this person is really nice and what not, I really like them... but it's not the same as REAL LIFE. You know, in REAL LIFE where you can actually hear someone elses voice, see their facial expression, and just chill out, joke, laugh, etc... with them. When you know someone in REAL LIFE in a 3 dimensional setting, I think that's when you can say you actually know them. But online, while I am able to develope a sense of connection with others... it's just words on the screen, 2 dimensional,.. it can never subsitute for being with a person in REAL LIFE.... NEVER!

[OHTotoro]

I actually never thought it could work... but I was never really part of an online community. This is the first one that wasn't a bunch of my buddies that i already know. I think that an online relationship is like a jumping off point that will lead to meeting that person in real life. I agree with tapestrybabe in that it's not the same as actually being with someone... But I also think that you can tell a lot about someone from seeing how they write... including whether or not you want to see them outside the computer screen.

[thaite]

I say "Hell, yeah, they work!"

That's only because Carmen Electra is my girlfriend. But we only talk online.

[Barbs]

check this out...

http://channels.netscape.com/ns/love/content.jsp?file=love/fun/rejectedonline1.jsp

[tapestrybabe]

[quote:58ecab9e84="OHTotoro"]I agree with tapestrybabe in that it's not the same as actually being with someone... But I also think that you can tell a lot about someone from seeing how they write... including whether or not you want to see them outside the computer screen.[/quote:58ecab9e84]

I dunno.. you can get to know their beliefs and how they think thru what people write. But you can't really get to know their personality. I mean, my official screen name is tapestrybabe. I use that for everything that I sign up for. And wellz I don't do it here.. but like on Click2Asia... I had gone under different names, posted messages under different names other than my official screenname... and no one ever knew... and it was all good and fun... And I gave off different attitudes and what not... And this is what I'm trying to say... you CAN'T get to know someone as a WHOLE thru the computer. It can be very deceiving sometimes....

[sandra]

there's this asian guy in irvine who lured out some asian chick he met in a chat room...then raped her.

conclusion: it's not safe to meet asian guys on-line.

[mrazntre]

kasia:

are you sure the chick was asian? i thought the girl was white or something ? mebbe he felt angst against white people since his mom was being fucked by a white guy, i mean, his stepdad.

makes you wonder huh? maybe he took that Freudian thing way too seriously and got jealous since he was becoming a man, a big man, and he wanted to take hold of the household. either that or the bitches at irvine kept on being bitches even though most of em are butt unless they got make up and skimpy clothing. uuuhhh....i digress. it's all good though. Commons during finals time was tight. uhhhh... so yah. let's find a solution for world hunger and peace.

[IKPakI]

Kasia, wow, you sure this was an asian guy? do you have a link to the story?

Its strange. never heard of an asian guy doing this sort of crap. Also, not all asian males are like that.

I wouldnt do that sort of thing.

[sandra]

hey guys.

yep. he was asian--and i thought the victim was asian as well.

he even carved signs on her face.

but he apologized and let her free afterwards.

there's a picture on the web somewhere--just run a search.

[thaite]

I guess if you apologize afterwards it's okay.

[achtungbaby]

[quote:780bd55515="buoywonder"]I guess if you apologize afterwards it's okay.[/quote:780bd55515]

Remind me to run like hell if I ever see you.

[IKPakI]

[quote:33389579cc="kasia"]hey guys.

yep. he was asian--and i thought the victim was asian as well.

he even carved signs on her face.

but he apologized and let her free afterwards.

there's a picture on the web somewhere--just run a search.[/quote:33389579cc]

Im having trouble finding it on the net.

Carved on her face? strange.

Apologize and set her free? whats the end? captured or anything? Shame on that asian man....making us sound like rapers.

[mrazntre]

asian dude. bio major. 4.0 student. etc. wow, makes me proud he came from my alma matar. good thing i crapped out in bio.

[Arex]

But back to the original topic...

I think on-line relationships can nicely supplement "real," person-to-person, "off-line" relationships. Both can serve useful purposes (one more than the other, of course), but neither one is really a substitute for the other (on-line DEFINITELY not a sub for off-line).

One thing that an on-line presence affords you that a off-line identity doesn't is a certain level of anonymity. Thus, some people may tend to speak with greater candor and honesty or fewer inhibitions when writing on-line than when meeting face-to-face. On the other hand, like tapestrybabe said, since you've got that anonymity, you're free to be whoever or whatever you want to be.

Another thing an on-line presence affords you that you don't get in real life is a chance to really think about what you say and revise what you say before you say it. You've got that "backspace" key that can prevent you from many foot-in-mouth situations that are more likely to happen in a real-time face-to-face or phone-to-phone conversation (if you're a moron like me).

Because of both of the above I think it's hard to TRULY connect to anyone on-line beyond their on-line representations though. Of course, some people's on-line identities more closely resemble their "off-line" identities than others. For those people, what you read is what you get. But I've "met" a few people on-line that seemed damn cool and interesting ON-line but when I finally got around to meeting/talking to them in person or over the phone, they simply fell flat (and who knows, maybe I was the one that was flat). And I think the opposite can happen too when you get an interesting, engaging person who just happens to not like typing. Hard to say...

Alex

[karizma]

>> if an online relationship is fulfilling in every way possible to you than hey go for it dude...ive met up with people i met online, both guys and girls and ive forged pretty close friendships with them, whether it was due to getting to know them online first i dont know? but yea...as long as you're sure you arent talking to an ax-murder or a pez-dispenser collector its all good... :D

[mrazntre]

wuts wrong with pez? i dispense regularly.

i met an axe-muderer from UC davis once. i think she's down in LA somewhere now trying to get a law degree so she can defend herself in the future.

re: online relationships

I've had good experiences and bad experiences. More bad than good though. I guess I have no inhibitions regarding meeting people or whatever, but I dunno. I don't care either way. If you do meet up with people online, it's not like you have to call them back if you don't get along too well with them. Just avoid them or something. =)

[sandra]

you're not a murderer unless you [i:255fe912bd][/i:255fe912bd]are [i:255fe912bd]successful[/i:255fe912bd] in killing the other person.

[mrazntre]

don't you mean [i:1b93166c8b][b:1b93166c8b]CONVICTED [/b:1b93166c8b][/i:1b93166c8b]?


shiet f00. you almost killed me that one night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[angelaine]

great.. now we have ax murderers around here.. maybe you could give us a few pointers on how to be a successful homcidal maniac.. :P

but anyways..

I think it's possible to connect with someone on the internet.. but I always feel that there's something that's missing.. maybe it's the lack of personal contact or something. I've met up with a couple people that I met on the internet, and they were okay experiences.. we get along and chat, but they're more like people I turn to when I'm need to vent about things cause they don't know my friends, my friends don't know them etc.. so it seems a lot easier to confide in them. But yet, I don't trust them either. Yes. Contradictory. :P

[amietron]

so does it all make sense to you, woot?
has the puzzle started to piece together?
hmm, hmmm , hmmmmmm?

i think the rapist was korean. or was he not?

who wants to help me get straightened out? i need help getting my life together. with regards to the law, my parents, my bf, school, and anything else that matters.

[karizma]

>> doing doing doing doinggggg.....

>> i wanna meet your bf...i wanna see whose dating my doing haha...yknow im here if you need help straightening things out =)...i think its about time we had some coffee and girl-talk puahaha...^_^

[amietron]

if all goes as-planned for the next month, he'll be back in july, so you can meet him then. and in the case that things don't work out between the two of us, "he was a dick anyway" !

[bigwong235]

[quote:b63b7a5161="angelaine"]
they're more like people I turn to when I'm need to vent about things cause they don't know my friends, my friends don't know them etc.. so it seems a lot easier to confide in them. But yet, I don't trust them either. Yes. Contradictory. :P[/quote:b63b7a5161]


yup, i have online friends like that... but it starts to get awkward when they somehow meet your friends. it's created some weirdness for me, at least.

[kboy75]

I think it is possible, if you use the same caution that you would use with any other new person. Just gotta be open, but smart about it. I actually wrote a short article about meeting ppl online.

My shameless plug:

http://www.iistix.com/_stixandstones/adventuresincyberdating.html

In case you are wondering what happened to the girl in the article, basically... it's a funny thing. Well, we never became BF/GF officially. Just had a great weekend together. We decided that LD (long distance) was too hard (been there done that, for both of us) so we decided to just leave it there. Here is the kicker though. "My Fan" was on the east coast, and was fully expecting to move to NYC for work after graduation. Me, I was going to move from Cali to NYC (just cause I always wanted to live there, really). I thought, "Hmm... maybe this will work out a lil later." Turns out, she got a great job in California a few months after I moved out to NYC. She moved there pretty much right after school was done. So we are sorta switching places; the irony. Reinforces an important lesson I've learned: Timing is everything. "My Fan" and I are still good friends, but we've both moved on. That experience... it was what it was. I don't regret it at all. Well, maybe just the timing, but hey, c'est la vie.

[amietron]

hey AB, karizma:

NYC + CALI.
mwahahah. makes ya think, huh?
ahaha.

:wink:

[tapestrybabe]

[quote:d3551ba2c7="kboy75"]I think it is possible, if you use the same caution that you would use with any other new person. Just gotta be open, but smart about it. I actually wrote a short article about meeting ppl online.[/quote:d3551ba2c7]

I think having an online relationship is different than ACTUALLY meeting someone from online and having it turn into a relationship. And that was the initial question.. what are your thought on online relationships?? And me, I don't believe in online relationships.. no matter how intensly 2 ppl chat with each other... cuz I feel any relationship.. it should be seen as a whole... and the notion of having an online relationship.. is just way too 2 dimensional for me...

HOWEVER, when it comes to developing a romantic relationship with someone you ACTUALLY meet from the internet.. I do believe that can work. I mean, ppl post classified want ads all the time.. single male iso single female, all the time in the newspaper... and ppl respond to it, and the internet is no different... its just a different form of media...

But personally, I believe when it comes to love, loyalty, honesty, devotion, etc.... that type of stuff just happens on its own course... you can't go easily searching for it like with sex... So, I really don't believe in searching and looking for a romantic relationship.. I feel that type of stuff will happen to me... when its meant to be...

anyways, I'm glad you had a nice time with your Fan...
meeting ppl from the internet can be fun...
I use to lead an online Click2Asia club about meeting new ppl and making new friends.... and I agree with you.. most ppl who you may meet from online... are just normal ppl too...

[sandra]

[quote:466288733b="mrazntre"]don't you mean [i:466288733b][b:466288733b]CONVICTED [/b:466288733b][/i:466288733b]?


shiet f00. you almost killed me that one night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![/quote:466288733b]

oh my god. i never told you. it cost me over $1000 to fix my car. my oil pan was all banged up. :cry: and the auto guy had to show it to my daddy--who gave me a really stern look.

it was fun while it lasted though, no? wheeeee....

[ImrkevinpakI]

This doesnt deal with online relationships, but to everyone on this site who has seen my writings and attitudes, they think im a middleschool or highschool kid. But in real life, im actually a 19yr college student at Uncc. Yes, people here have dogged out every opinion that i've made, but also in real life, people are actually know what im talking about. I think i've created a fake identity here. I met this girl in real life from maxazn.com down in atlanta last week and she was suprised. Everyone on that site thought i was a little kid and had a bad attitude, but she and everyone else was wrong. Dead Wrong. I brought her lunch and dinner and then she apologized for her behavior and we are close friends now. So i don't think you should judge the way a person acts online, until you actually meet them in real life. Writing doesnt prove anything. Maybe it does, but they could be faking identity. Don't trust people online, or atleast most of them.

[dalme]

Have any of you ever had a pen pal? Anyway, I still have pen pals; they are just all online now... We communicate with each other feelings and experiences that a person might not have ever been able to tell anyone else... I think the beauty of the relationship is that we won't meet... I guess it could get weird... I just try to keep it honest. :wink: