The Woman-child

[coagulated fat]

To what extent does society encourage women to be childlike? To what extent do we play along with this role in order to get what we want?

I'm just wondering because one of the girls in my apartment subscribes to Cosmopolitan (shudder of disgust) and there was an article encouraging readers to cry or play dumb to get their way.

[Green_Circle]

That's kind of an exclusive word isn't it?

[sdcheung]

Mmm..
I usually shrug off cry babies and dumbasses

Now a smart intelligent Tomboy is what i'm looking out for.

Someone that is good with a power tool and knows how to work my penis .. now that is what gets me.

and someone who can call me out on my faults too. yeah thats it.

[kimpossible]

I'm just wondering because one of the girls in my apartment subscribes to Cosmopolitan (shudder of disgust) and there was an article encouraging readers to cry or play dumb to get their way.

But are the still merely playing dumb if they're buying Cosmopolitan to learn how to be appealing to men and treating it like the gospel? That sounds like bona fide dumb to me.

Although I'll have to admit using this technique from time to time to get something I want. Not with my husband or friends but with sales guys or cops or whatever. I don't cry but I'll play clueless or helpless female. Depends on the demeanor of the male I'm dealing with and what strategy I think will be most effective.

[SunWuKong]

To what extent does society encourage women to be childlike? To what extent do we play along with this role in order to get what we want?

I'm just wondering because one of the girls in my apartment subscribes to Cosmopolitan (shudder of disgust) and there was an article encouraging readers to cry or play dumb to get their way.

isn't that stuff in Cosmo kind of written to be far-fetched so that it's funny? i've read some of the "advice" they give and it seems like it's supposed to induce laughter instead of actually giving advice.

[teaz0r]

doing the cry baby routine hardly
works on most of the men anymore.

like HH, i'll use my judgement when
i turn all damsel in distress, and i
normally use it with those cops
that like to catch me doing illegal
u-turns.

if being all helpless gets me what i want,
i'll do it. i don't care. i don't think it's because
"society encourages" me though, it's more like
the guy is a total moron and falling for one of
the most oldest tricks from girls.

cosmo's more of a comic book than anything else
i think most of these magazines are to "entertain"
plus people that reseort to taking advice from
glossy magazines seriously are probably only able
to apply those methods rather ... i dunno...

what do i know, i still do the puppy dog eyes at
cops

[TTChino]

If you got it, and can get away with it, why not use it?

[ChinaLama]

playing dumb is a technique used by men, too.

[kitty]

I think it appeals to male sense of enjoying being the one in control, or the dominant. Some guys still find the concept of virgin girls appealing -- it's a very small step for an immature or child-like girl to be attractive.

what I think is interesting is that it seems to apply more to Asian women nowadays than anyone else... think of the Japanese schoolgirl thing. How many non-Asians are looking for an Asian girl and want her to be young looking and acting? It's very pedophilic but I admit I use it when it seems like it'll work.

[kimpossible]

playing dumb is a technique used by men, too.

yes, thank god one of you at least owned up to it. oh hohohoho that drives me nuts when my husband plays dumb and he knows i know that he's playing dumb but still denies it.

[shy]

isn't that stuff in Cosmo kind of written to be far-fetched so that it's funny? i've read some of the "advice" they give and it seems like it's supposed to induce laughter instead of actually giving advice.

the scary thing is, whatever the intent of Cosmo is suppose to produce, people DO buy into those advices... *shudder*

[amietron]

my $0.2 cent

that's a very good point. i've seen many asian women acting like that. nothing wrong with it - it brings back their innocence or at least gives the people perceptions of it. speaking as a man, whose been in the company of non-asian men into asian women, i can tell you that one of the reasons why alot of such men go for asian women is because there is a perception that asian women "need" to be looked after. ie., perception is that such women are the ultimate in shy, submissive housewives. we all know this is'nt true, especially with asian american women but with fob women the perception is there. some men woant to look after a woman. it makes them feel like a man. that's why they feel threatened by outspoken western women.
so you're basically saying they want a needy bitch without needs of her own? someone who will indulge in anything they would like to do without complaining about it?

[kimpossible]

so you're basically saying they want a needy bitch without needs of her own? someone who will indulge in anything they would like to do without complaining about it?

yeah but i think he's saying that's their perception or wants and those guys aren't exactly winners to begin with

[Fireblade]

This is why women should not read retarded fashion magazines who claim to help your life...

it advice like this that creates a whole bunch of miscommunication between the sexes.

[SunWuKong]

playing dumb is a technique used by men, too.


huh? what do you mean? :confused: :confused: :confused:

[coagulated fat]

But are the still merely playing dumb if they're buying Cosmopolitan to learn how to be appealing to men and treating it like the gospel? That sounds like bona fide dumb to me.
Hmm, right. Ok, playing dumber

While the tone of this article was kind of whimsical it was definitely mostly serious. I consider myself a good judge of humor, that's why I read Jane and not Cosmo.

I agree that a lot of Asian women are especially into the acting cute and young thing.

Anyway it's a questionable thing to do in light of the feminist movement and blah blah. Cops are exempt, anything's fair game with cops. Though I tend to turn into a bitch with cops because I have authority issues, far be it for me to deny anyone else's use of puppy dog eyes in getting out of a speeding ticket.

[applehead]

Hmm, right. Ok, playing dumber

While the tone of this article was kind of whimsical it was definitely mostly serious. I consider myself a good judge of humor, that's why I read Jane and not Cosmo.

I agree that a lot of Asian women are especially into the acting cute and young thing.

Anyway it's a questionable thing to do in light of the feminist movement and blah blah. Cops are exempt, anything's fair game with cops. Though I tend to turn into a bitch with cops because I have authority issues, far be it for me to deny anyone else's use of puppy dog eyes in getting out of a speeding ticket.

listen.
cosmo is not to be taken serious.
and any smart girl would know that.

[kimpossible]

but i need to know 10 secret tips that will drive him wild in bed...

and fill in the bubbles on their compatibility survey to see if i'm happily married...

[SunWuKong]

but i need to know 10 secret tips that will drive him wild in bed...

i know someone who knows 99.

[coagulated fat]

The Cosmo thing was an example. Disregard Cosmo and just read the first part of my opening post. Sorry to offend any cosmo readers. (mm, but not really)

[applehead]

oh all right.

yeah. i do it a lot.
especially to bunboy.

[SunWuKong]

oh all right.

yeah. i do it a lot.
especially to bunboy.

that's just a natural instinct born to all k-girls.

[mr. x]

but i need to know 10 secret tips that will drive him wild in bed...

and fill in the bubbles on their compatibility survey to see if i'm happily married...

oh puhleeze, those tips are so general and vague

10. a man LOVES the site of naked women. you are a woman, now get naked!
9. a man loves it when you talk dirty. talk dirty!
8. a man loves a lil porn before bed, spice things up a lil!
...
..
.
2. men love foreplay, foreplay with him!
1. have sex!

[kimpossible]

Good point, we should get back the subject of the appeal of the ingenue. You know, the first thing I thought of when I read the topic was Luc Besson films because he ALWAYS features an ingenue as his lead female character.

[applehead]

that's just a natural instinct born to all k-girls.

darn it.
and all this time i thought i was
kick ass actress.

[mr. x]

darn it.
and all this time i thought i was
kick ass actress.

kekekeke

[mr. x]

Good point, we should get back the subject of the appeal of the ingenue. You know, the first thing I thought of when I read the topic was Luc Besson films because he ALWAYS features an ingenue as his lead female character.

whats an ingenue? like a innocent female type?

speaking of Luc Besson didnt he do the transporter? and didnt that feature shu qi as the biggest asiaphile fantasy in recent movie memory?

[sandra]

To what extent does society encourage women to be childlike? To what extent do we play along with this role in order to get what we want?

I'm just wondering because one of the girls in my apartment subscribes to Cosmopolitan (shudder of disgust) and there was an article encouraging readers to cry or play dumb to get their way.

i'm not sure about american culture, really, but in asian movies, many of the women talk and act like little girls and are portrayed as 'cute'. they act kinda clumsy, etc.

in women studies, a while back, a prof once mentioned that bigger eyes are favored on women b/c babies have big eyes. the reason why babies have bigger eyes (in proportion to their face) is b/c our eyes don't grow while the rest of our face does. thus, it isn't natural for us to have extremely big anime eyes. dunno.

[deez nuts]

this is what we men call whining.

of course, you're gonna end up getting what you want, if you keep doing it. cuz we're gonna do it, not cuz we want to and it'll make you happy, we do it so you'll shut the hell up. but, deep inside we'll resent you for it and when the time is right, we'll find an opportunity to get you back. or we'll prolly just dump your whiny ass.

[applehead]

oh yeah.
like men don't whine.

[deez nuts]

oh yeah.
like men don't whine.


of course we do. and at least half the yw male population is a testament to the fact in some of the threads. but, this isn't a topic about men whining, is it now?

[applehead]

settle down!

[deez nuts]

settle down!

chasiubao_boy 1
applehead 0

[Tao]

of course we do. and at least half the yw male population is a testament to the fact in some of the threads. but, this isn't a topic about men whining, is it now?
:cry: you hurt my feelings...i'm telling on you

[SunWuKong]

this is what we men call whining.

of course, you're gonna end up getting what you want, if you keep doing it. cuz we're gonna do it, not cuz we want to and it'll make you happy, we do it so you'll shut the hell up. but, deep inside we'll resent you for it and when the time is right, we'll find an opportunity to get you back. or we'll prolly just dump your whiny ass.

and when women cry, i'm not thinking "oh, that's so sad."
i'm thinking "how the hell do i get her to stop crying?"

[sandra]

this is what we men call whining.

of course, you're gonna end up getting what you want, if you keep doing it. cuz we're gonna do it, not cuz we want to and it'll make you happy, we do it so you'll shut the hell up. but, deep inside we'll resent you for it and when the time is right, we'll find an opportunity to get you back. or we'll prolly just dump your whiny ass.

either way, it works. and history shows, guys rarely take the time to get back at us or dump us b/c: 1) they have poor memory, and 2) they're too lazy to find a new gf.

:licka:


but the real question for the ladies is: even though it works, would you stoop to that level?

[deez nuts]

lol

[nonamerasian]

This society encourages women to be childlike by not looking down on it.

It's not a tactic that I actively use.

There are other ways to get my way. I don't intentionally revert back into pseudo-immaturity to get it. . .I don't read Cosmo.

[kimpossible]

but the real question for the ladies is: even though it works, would you stoop to that level?

well like i said before i don't cry but will size up a guy to see if Dumb Girl is the best way to play him. for instance, i negotiated our last car purchase because the salesman was an old white dude. my husband can't negotiate a car sale for shit and i had the feeling that the old white guy would've looked at him as a foreigner anyhow, so i discussed the plan with Mr. HH before i talked to the car salesman. the plan was that he was bad cop and i was good cop - i played the salesman's stereotypes. i was docile wifey that wanted the car but didn't have the money and hubby was stubborn well-to-do asian man. after a couple of rounds i got the final cash purchase price down about $6k. that's the best example i can think of. i'll post another if i remember something else.

in my personal relationship i rarely cry or play dumb. my husband knows me too well and could spot that bs from a mile away. i use Japanese Silent Treatment or let the Irish Temper run it's course. rarely am i completely unreasonable, there's too much to negotiate in marriage for that to be a realistic method of problem solving.

[sandra]

well like i said before i don't cry but will size up a guy to see if Dumb Girl is the best way to play him. for instance, i negotiated our last car purchase because the salesman was an old white dude. my husband can't negotiate a car sale for shit and i had the feeling that the old white guy would've looked at him as a foreigner anyhow, so i discussed the plan with Mr. HH before i talked to the car salesman. the plan was that he was bad cop and i was good cop - i played the salesman's stereotypes. i was docile wifey that wanted the car but didn't have the money and hubby was stubborn well-to-do asian man. after a couple of rounds i got the final cash purchase price down about $6k. that's the best example i can think of. i'll post another if i remember something else.

in my personal relationship i rarely cry or play dumb. my husband knows me too well and could spot that bs from a mile away. i use Japanese Silent Treatment or let the Irish Temper run it's course. rarely am i completely unreasonable, there's too much to negotiate in marriage for that to be a realistic method of problem solving.


i'd say, for me, it would be easy to do this in a situation where you only have to deal with the guy once - like a sales negotiation. plus, you get to screw him in the end (no pun intended). but what if, say, you have to work with him regularly? if playing dumb did work to your benefit, but you would have to do it on a daily basis, would it change things?

[SunWuKong]

i use Japanese Silent Treatment or let the Irish Temper run it's course.

stop it, you're fueling my hapa fetish.

[Proud_Jook_Sing]

I can't see how crying or playing dumb can work out in the long-term. If you want an honest relationship those above tactics might work here and there but it'll come back to bite you one day.

Crying and playing dumb is a whole other game from acting cute and girlish. I think men respond better to that.

[coagulated fat]

I can't see how crying or playing dumb can work out in the long-term. If you want an honest relationship those above tactics might work here and there but it'll come back to bite you one day.

Crying and playing dumb is a whole other game from acting cute and girlish. I think men respond better to that.
I think the two overlap to some extent.

[John0101]

Is this article trying to say that by pretending to be stupid really in inpowers females?

I think the article reinforces the idea of a male dominated society. The article obviously wasn't written by a feminist or even thought about the consequences of the article.

Females acting "child-like" and dumb to get their way while they are not, symbolizes the idea that females are sneaky, manuplative (sp?), and plan out untrustworthy. Also it reinforces the idea that men have the power in the relationship, and females should accepted it and used it for their advantage.

Looks like a pretty conservative magazine to me.