what "defines" you...

[frcegrl]

curious how my fellow queer peers feel...

i am gay, female and asian. in that order. i've tried explaining this order to others but don't think i was successful. instead, i ended up having to defend my choice.

what about you? and please do play the devil's advocate and tell me why i'm wrong or shouldn't "tag" myself in this way.

[skatergrl]

hey frcegrl,

well my order is like this: butch, asian, lesbian. i don't think you are wrong at all. i think everyone can and should "tag" themselves in whatever way they feel is right for them. The reason why my order is this way, is because this is how I feel people see me, and how I see myself. The butch is obviously first, then the asian, and I think the lesbian pretty much follows right after that. I hope that makes sense.

[Chris]

I define myself as an asian masculine gay male. That's how I see myself. I defiantely identified myself asian first and gay second. Based on my upbringings.

[frcegrl]

hey frcegrl,

well my order is like this: butch, asian, lesbian. i don't think you are wrong at all. i think everyone can and should "tag" themselves in whatever way they feel is right for them. The reason why my order is this way, is because this is how I feel people see me, and how I see myself. The butch is obviously first, then the asian, and I think the lesbian pretty much follows right after that. I hope that makes sense.


skatergrl....that's interesting. i've never differentiated between butch or fem when it came to being a lesbian. you've dissected it to yet another level! in this sense, aren't butch and lesbian synonymous? altho i hate the idea of labeling, i do it but fight it. it's a love/hate deal.

why do you think ppl see you as butch first? why not lesbian first?

[skatergrl]

skatergrl....that's interesting. i've never differentiated between butch or fem when it came to being a lesbian. you've dissected it to yet another level! in this sense, aren't butch and lesbian synonymous? altho i hate the idea of labeling, i do it but fight it. it's a love/hate deal.

why do you think ppl see you as butch first? why not lesbian first?

frcegrl,

i think people see me as butch first, because most of the time i get mistaken for a guy. so when people finally realize that i am a girl, butch pretty much comes right after without any question. being lesbian is going to come after that, because to other people, it is usually an obvious assumption that i am a lesbian after realizing that i am female. that is my opinion of how people see me. not that i am saying that all butch women are lesbians, but to others who are not used to being around butch women, will automatically assume that a butch women is a lesbian without questioning it. make sense?

[etcj]

skatergrl....that's interesting. i've never differentiated between butch or fem when it came to being a lesbian. you've dissected it to yet another level! in this sense, aren't butch and lesbian synonymous? altho i hate the idea of labeling, i do it but fight it. it's a love/hate deal.

why do you think ppl see you as butch first? why not lesbian first?
Hmm...I never really consider butch to be synonymous with being a lesbian. The same should go for femme with being gay (and male). Butch and femme are very antiquated in today's world, because we have so many cross-cultural (mis)appropriations.

I've somehow noticed that there are so many metrosexual men out there that butch and femme just doesn't seem to fit anymore. There are many guys out there who are primped and proper with their little A&F and D&G outfits, which many definitely associate with being gay. However, clever marketing has allowed straight people to appropriate various stereotypical elements often associated with gay men. Hmm indeed..

[etcj]

As for myself, I don't like the word masculine, because there's no other word than that to describe my body. However, I think butch is a nice word, but with a more campy gay feel.

Me? Gay, ambiguous, natural, and DISCO!

[frcegrl]

Hmm...I never really consider butch to be synonymous with being a lesbian. The same should go for femme with being gay (and male). Butch and femme are very antiquated in today's world, because we have so many cross-cultural (mis)appropriations.

I've somehow noticed that there are so many metrosexual men out there that butch and femme just doesn't seem to fit anymore. There are many guys out there who are primped and proper with their little A&F and D&G outfits, which many definitely associate with being gay. However, clever marketing has allowed straight people to appropriate various stereotypical elements often associated with gay men. Hmm indeed..


i see your point and agree. i guess i was trying to simplify it as much as possible. i just usually say i'm gay. not i'm a butch lesbian. that's too much info...haha.

but yeah...i'm butch on the outside but i've got a very feminine side of me. guess i'm the female version of a metrosexual. i can be so boy at times and then be girly too. should we coin a term for that?

[skatergrl]

frcegrl,

i don't introduce myself as a butch lesbian either. i just know that's what goes through people's heads when they see me, after realizing that i am female and not male.

[Chris]

As for myself, I don't like the word masculine, because there's no other word than that to describe my body. However, I think butch is a nice word, but with a more campy gay feel.

Me? Gay, ambiguous, natural, and DISCO!


and loyal fridae heart giver!