In Search of "THE ONE" (OR NOT) [Archive]

Barbs

08-09-2002, 12:50 AM

the older i get, the more cynical i am about the prospect of there actually existing "the one" out there. i think in my starry-eyed, idealistic innocent youth i used to imagine that there'd be this perfect person out there and we'd have the perfect relationship and have the perfect marriage and eternal existence. well, not to put a damper on things kids, but that is a crock of b.s.

as i see my friends taking that step towards marriage, i've begun to realize that nobody's marrying their "true love". it ain't about that anymore. it's about marrying the person who's the most compatible with you, who you happen to be with at the nebulous late 20-something age when u start to get panicky and desperate at the thought of a lifetime alone. it's about having a list and checking it off and picking the person who matches ur list the best. it's not about passion or undying love. sorry to be depressing and for those of you who beg to differ, i congratulate you. but get back to me in 10 years about the status of your "true love".

it's easy really. i'm just going to try not to settle as i've seen so many do. but really, even if i eventually end up not "settling" for less than my ideal, who's to guaranteed it will ultimately work out. in the end, i hope i don't just end up with whoever i'm dating when i'm 30 out of lack of better options.

SunWuKong

08-09-2002, 06:58 AM

i've never believed in there existing the "one" even when i was a teenager. but when you don't subscribe to that idea, you've got to take the idea of a commitment very seriously. because when you don't believe in being "predestined" to be with that person, you may be tempted to think that someone else might be more compatible with you. so you've got to take the idea of a commitment very seriously.

kasia

08-09-2002, 12:26 PM

daniel wu.

SunWuKong

08-09-2002, 12:58 PM

Originally posted by kasia@Aug 9 2002, 03:26 PM
daniel wu.
HAHHAHHAH

actually it's not unimaginable at all that you might meet him in HK. the expat circles in HK are not that big, and especially amongst overseas chinese people.

Barbs

08-09-2002, 01:16 PM

who's daniel wu?

this is what my ideal guy would look like:

http://goldsea.com/ABH/Vic/vicc4.jpg

*pant pant*

i think he's some small time actor. not really sure.

SunWuKong

08-09-2002, 01:26 PM

Originally posted by Barbs@Aug 9 2002, 04:16 PM
who's daniel wu?

this is what my ideal guy would look like:

http://goldsea.com/ABH/Vic/vicc4.jpg

*pant pant*

i think he's some small time actor. not really sure.
goldsea! do i smell an overdose of testosterone?

hahahh that guy has a funny expression on his face. but he sure has a big chest. :blink:

Barbs

08-09-2002, 01:51 PM

he has an expectant expression on his face.

he's expecting???? someone? lol.

achtungbaby

08-09-2002, 05:50 PM

Originally posted by kasia@Aug 9 2002, 12:26 PM
daniel wu.
I've chatted with him :lol:

Click2Asia MC : zooropa asks: Do you feel responsible to take roles soley geared at presenting a positive image of Asian americans to mainstream America?
daniel_wu : That is definately important but what is most important is the role and how interesting it is to me as an actor, not just as an Asian American.

Click2Asia MC : Definitely.

SunWuKong

08-09-2002, 10:29 PM

Originally posted by achtungbaby@Aug 9 2002, 08:50 PM
Originally posted by kasia@Aug 9 2002, 12:26 PM
daniel wu.
I've chatted with him :lol:

Click2Asia MC : zooropa asks: Do you feel responsible to take roles soley geared at presenting a positive image of Asian americans to mainstream America?
daniel_wu : That is definately important but what is most important is the role and how interesting it is to me as an actor, not just as an Asian American.

Click2Asia MC : Definitely.
hey! i read that interview a few years ago! so that was you!

artsfartsyjanet

08-10-2002, 08:51 AM

I don't go into an intimate relationship thinking a guy (or I for that matter) is perfect. The story of Cinderella is bogus to me. A perfect relationship is a relationship that isn't exactly perfect but still great... as philosophical as it sounds. I think people should argue CONSTRUCTIVELY, disagree CONSTRUCTIVELY, find security in silence, and enrichment in communication. Anyway, I don't believe in love at first sight. it's strictly a stage of infatuation. Some guy I come across may look drop dead niiiiiice, but I'm not immediately his number 1 fan, so to speak. What I see may not be what I get... sounds like WYSIWUG in Java programming. Sorry, I digressed. Anyway, It's not just body...it's mind and spirit who makes the cut in my book. Every guy I come across who I like a lot are prospects of being that "ONE" I suppose, but finding that ONE right now isn't a priority.

achtungbaby

08-10-2002, 11:12 AM

Originally posted by SunWuKung@Aug 9 2002, 10:29 PM
Originally posted by achtungbaby@Aug 9 2002, 08:50 PM
Originally posted by kasia@Aug 9 2002, 12:26 PM
daniel wu.
I've chatted with him :lol:

Click2Asia MC : zooropa asks: Do you feel responsible to take roles soley geared at presenting a positive image of Asian americans to mainstream America?
daniel_wu : That is definately important but what is most important is the role and how interesting it is to me as an actor, not just as an Asian American.

Click2Asia MC : Definitely.
hey! i read that interview a few years ago! so that was you!
Yes, it was AB...in the visage of Zooropa.

Notice the correlation between screennames...? (ahem)

It's kinda funny. I remember one of my friends who worked at C2A telling me to participate in the chat with some actor I'd never heard of. So, being the ass that I was (am?), I started sending a few ridiculous questions to the moderator, who refused to relay them. So then I asked the most clean-cut question I could. Presto!

princess

08-11-2002, 02:57 PM

eh i have plenty of time to look for "the one." i actually dont reallie care for the idea of marriage at this point in my life, unlike some of my friends who constantly fantasize about their future husband.

tapestrybabe

04-17-2003, 07:35 PM

i believe in true love...
and that my one and only exists somewhere out there...
and i wont settle for anything less...

and i believe its not something i have to go out searching for...
but it will happen when it will happen...

angelwiththesword

04-17-2003, 08:22 PM

there is no such thing as "the one."

it is a matter of tolerance. are you willing to tolerate this significant other for the rest of your existance? chances are, no. thus, was the advent of the divorce.
often people will move in with each other, thinking it will be the time of their life.
unfortunately, while you are living together you have intimate knowledge of your spouses nuances. and more often then not, these nuances will aggravate you to an extraordinary degree.
you sheild your mind of doubt by putting up a wall of a supposed "love" when, in fact, every day you hate your spouse more and more.

who is "the one"?

the one can be anyone. as long as there is a mutual respect and trust bond.

VV o n g B a

04-17-2003, 08:40 PM

i personally don't believe in "the one." but my does.

his definition is weird tho. he thinks that any girl that u fall in love w/ could turn into the one. thats b/c u'll find reasons to like her once u fall in love and your definition of the one can change into her.

i think relationships are like clothes. u got lots of different styles u like and can choose from. sometimes u'll like the clothes cuz of the snug fit. othertimes u'll like it cuz of the trendiness or flashiness. the only problem is not getting tired of one particular style or fit after having it on too long.

Tao

04-17-2003, 09:24 PM

the only problem is not getting tired of one particular style or fit after having it on too long.

according to this theory my ideal mate should be a beat up, streched out, faded old grandmother.

tommyhtown

04-17-2003, 09:49 PM

I believed in 'the one' theory. Well, that's my excuse for staying single. :lol:

AznYam

04-17-2003, 09:52 PM

i wake up to the one every weekend. shes so fine with her cheek smushed against the saliva soaked pillow.

lethal

04-17-2003, 10:27 PM

"There has never been anything like what I have become" - from The One

teaz0r

04-17-2003, 11:16 PM

i'm more comfortable with idea that there's somebody out there for you, but you don't have to end up together. i dunno. part of life is you don't always get what you want. it's like you can totally love somebody the first moment you meet them. sorta like how a little boy loves a sports figure. something like that.

i believe in "the one". and i believe that i met mine. we had a good three years. and that's that. keeping him around and making the relationship last probably would un-one him.

yeah.

SunWuKong

04-17-2003, 11:44 PM

oh yeah i believe in "the one"
i meet these girls all the time

teaz0r

04-17-2003, 11:46 PM

Originally posted by SunWuKung@Apr 18 2003, 01:44 PM
oh yeah i believe in "the one"
i meet these girls all the time
you forgot "for tonight".

"the one for tonight"

mr. x

04-18-2003, 12:29 AM

well folks, until you find the one, you can just watch The One on DVD :lol:

moschikat

04-18-2003, 02:03 AM

:blush:

<-- hopeless romantic. i can't help but still be naive about it, sometimes there just isn't an explanation as to why things happen or who you happen to run into in life.

yeah, that person is out there . . somewhere. . . but if it happens, it happens, if not . . then i'll just be the old crazy cat lady . . . :cry:

kitty

04-18-2003, 08:54 AM

I used to believe in 'the One'...like Disney ideals,but now I think there are several 'the One' (so I guess, the Many?) that you are going to click with but you have to work at the relationship to make them the One.

I've found mine. I'm keeping him. yummy...

angelwiththesword

04-18-2003, 10:40 AM

i thought i found mine too.

apparently, she didn't feel the same.

Napoleon Chynamite

04-18-2003, 10:51 AM

Originally posted by lethalweapon@Apr 17 2003, 09:27 PM
"There has never been anything like what I have become" - from The One
I AM YULAW. I'M NOBODY'S BITCH. YOU.....ARE MINE

angelwiththesword

04-18-2003, 11:46 AM

Originally posted by FrozenPizza@Apr 18 2003, 09:51 AM
I AM YULAW. I'M NOBODY'S BITCH. YOU.....ARE MINE
i am yulaw. NOBODY's bitch. i...don't need to know you. YOU only need to know ME. I WILL BE THE ONE.

*starts ass kickin'*

AliBabaIncorporated

04-18-2003, 12:20 PM

no such thing as "The One." Anyone can be the one, you can click with anyone unless you deliberately close yourself off to them, unless you're so devoted to the little fantasy of finding "The One" that you pass up whoever's right in front of you cuz they don't fit your predefined idea of perfect destiny.

Napoleon Chynamite

04-18-2003, 12:53 PM

Originally posted by angelwiththesword@Apr 18 2003, 10:46 AM
i am yulaw. NOBODY's bitch. i...don't need to know you. YOU only need to know ME. I WILL BE THE ONE.

*starts ass kickin'*
Actually no he said 'I'm nobody's bitch'. But ur right about all the extra stuff he said afterwards that i forgot.

Elizabeth A.

04-18-2003, 01:00 PM

Originally posted by angelwiththesword@Apr 18 2003, 12:40 PM
i thought i found mine too.

apparently, she didn't feel the same.
That has happened to me so many times.....

SunWuKong

04-18-2003, 02:55 PM

Originally posted by AliBabaIncorporated@Apr 18 2003, 02:20 PM
no such thing as "The One." Anyone can be the one, you can click with anyone unless you deliberately close yourself off to them, unless you're so devoted to the little fantasy of finding "The One" that you pass up whoever's right in front of you cuz they don't fit your predefined idea of perfect destiny.
yeah and then you might pass up the chance for some easy poon.

mr. x

04-18-2003, 10:36 PM

great, someone beat me to "the one starring jet li" pun joke

nonamerasian

08-06-2004, 03:15 PM

I think there's a one.

There's gotta be a one.

Don't bust my bubble.

it's about having a list and checking it off and picking the person who matches ur list the best.

I've been told that as we age, our lists evolve.

In youth we look for a guy with intelligence, humor, financial security, looks and so forth. But a thing or two drop off as we age. There isn't as much "so forth." Perhaps after a while looks don't matter so much, either. Then, maybe financial security is too superficial.

And more years pass by and more things drop off until there is only one criteria left.

A guy.

:frown:

Hiroshi2

08-06-2004, 03:31 PM

People always talk about "true love". What is that, and what's the difference between that and just plain ol "love"?

BTW.............................this is not a problem I have to worry about. At least it won't be if I could find a way to get Will Smith seperated from his wife, cause damn Jada Pinckett Smith is fine.

golden_buns

08-06-2004, 05:07 PM

Fireblade

08-06-2004, 08:15 PM

In youth we look for a guy with intelligence, humor, financial security, looks and so forth. But a thing or two drop off as we age. There isn't as much "so forth." Perhaps after a while looks don't matter so much, either. Then, maybe financial security is too superficial.

And more years pass by and more things drop off until there is only one criteria left.

A guy.

:frown:

Cool! That means I do have a chance with women! Muahahaha. :biggrin:

stunninglyAsian

08-06-2004, 08:50 PM

as i see my friends taking that step towards marriage, i've begun to realize that nobody's marrying their "true love". it ain't about that anymore. it's about marrying the person who's the most compatible with you, who you happen to be with at the nebulous late 20-something age when u start to get panicky and desperate at the thought of a lifetime alone.
I've noticed that too... I love this attitude... Nothing makes me sexier than desperation!

But seriously, are they settling for less, looks-wise? Or is it the overall package? To me, I think the first thing to go is that notion that they will end up with a husband in the top 10 of People magazine's sexiest people. And they begin to sacrifice some looks for personality.

I'm not planning to get married until I'm 40, so I like to think by that time, any girls who are still single and have never married in their mid-30s, early 40s who are looking for somebody should be open to at least giving me a try and going out to dinner with me...

I like to believe that there is "the one" but not in the sense that everything will be hugh grant movie perfect and I can check off the mental list of my ideal girl... but more in terms of somebody who I can get along, have a good laugh, and who can put up with my shit and I can do the same. And at the end of the day we can still be happy together and want to be with each other.

Cipherous

08-07-2004, 12:20 AM

I found the one,

it used to be a block buster hit

http://www.completemartialarts.com/entertainment/movies/images/theone.jpg

Emperor_Mike

08-07-2004, 01:57 AM

"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you." -- Winnie the Pooh

All I can offer is steadfast devotion and a promise to be at your side even in the darkest of hours. If you can grant me the same, then nothing else matters.

deez nuts

08-07-2004, 08:50 AM

in order for you to find "the one"; there will have to be the other ones along the way in your quest for "the one."

bluemonq

08-07-2004, 09:20 AM

THere's no such thing as "the one", it's all about how compatible and how much patience the guy and the girl have.

And love is just a fake emotion that you feel only when things are getting started. Then it becomes routine and both get numb and even sick and tired of it, hence so many divorces these days.
meep? the high number of divorces imo come from people realizing that they actually *weren't* in love, that it was a mistake. seriously... if you have couples where someone is cheating or beats the crap out of the other, i don't think they were ever in love in the first place. maybe they enjoyed each other's company, maybe the sex was great, i don't know. you said "it's all about how compatible and how much patience the guy and the girl have". well, true love *is* all about compatability and learning to live with or even being amused at/entertained/charmed with your so's flaws -- erm, personality quirks :tongue: anyone who tells you that there's a *perfect* one is either lying, delusional, or really found "The One." in which case, kill them and seduce their so :rolleyes:

TB4000

08-07-2004, 10:25 AM

Yeah, I do agree there is no "one". Just your interpretation of what "the one" should be. Every person you meet or go out with is gonna have a flaw or flaws you don't like, but you overlook them in the long run.

rice cracker

08-07-2004, 03:59 PM

I figured out a long time ago that there isn't really the "one," but there are a hell of a lot of people in the whole wide world that you'd probably be really compatible with. Of that hell of a lot of people in the whole wide world, you'll actually have chemistry with like, I dunno, 20 of them. Then it's just a matter of bumping into one of those 20 people at the dry cleaners and sparking up a conversation.

And that, my friends, is one reason why I don't smoke weed anymore.

achtungbaby

08-07-2004, 04:11 PM

I'm not looking to find the one right now. If I'm not ready, it won't matter if we cross each other on the street.

deez nuts

08-07-2004, 04:20 PM

I'm not looking to find the one right now. If I'm not ready, it won't matter if we cross each other on the street.

so you're looking for the right now girl rather than the right girl.

Irezumi Kiss

08-07-2004, 07:55 PM

No need for the One right now. Twos and Threes are more than welcome, when I can afford to do so!

Filiprish

08-07-2004, 08:16 PM

The idea of "the one" is an outmoded one.

SunWuKong

08-07-2004, 10:44 PM

instead of "the one", how about "that one"?

ok, lame joke.

mr. x

08-07-2004, 11:25 PM

asvenus

08-08-2004, 07:14 AM

i used to believe in that...but then i split from the person i thought was 'the one' for me...
also some people meet what could be interpreted as 'the one'...take pual and linda McCartney..they never spent a night apart in all their years of marriage, remained totally in love with eachother..and then she died of cancer....no hes married again to someone else he adroes so whats that?? 'the two'? i dunno...i jus think there are loads of people out there who are beautiful and kind and maybe we'll find em, maybe we wont...who knows

rocketbunny

08-10-2004, 12:43 PM

Soul mates? Hm. I don't believe in soul mates. But I do believe in a high level of compatibility...

Hiroshi2

08-10-2004, 01:10 PM

well "the one" is almost like the idea of the soul mate and i can tell you right now a soul mate is a bullshit concept

what are the odds your soul mate or "the one" is living within a hundred, five hundred, miles of you? this world has a LOT of miles to it. a lot of people too. its all about finding a glove that fits, s'all there is to it. learn to be satisfied or you'll cheat on them and the cycle of unsatiability will continue

Actually I think that there's a pretty good chance of it.

Why would your "soul mate", somebody just like you, live all the way in fucking New Zealand? Y'all don't speak the same language, not part of the same culture, and more than likely don't even have the same interests? So why would your "soul mate" be 10,000 miles away?

It makes more sense to think that they're in your own city, or another city a few hundred miles away.