Having children

[etcj]

Well I guess I've suffering from ovary&uterus envy lately...no, I'm not pining for a sex change! I guess I'm just thinking about having children, or more like the reality that I won't be having any children. Of course, this was all instigated by my cousin's recent announcement that his wife is pregnant. I guess it's a bit of jealousy, but also because I'm feeling the "ick"-factor of getting older.

So I guess I just wanted to throw it out there to the GLBT folks on YW about your perspectives on having children. Feel free to be depressing, but hopefully some folks will have positive perspective to share.

[Chris]

For me. I am selfish. I want to travel and just be by myself with my partner. But I will spoil my neices, nephews to death.

[BeTheReds]

can't you adopt of find a host mother?

[SunWuKong]

can't you adopt of find a host mother?


that depends on massachusetts' policies on letting gay couples adopt children, doesn't it?

[BeTheReds]

single dudes can adopt...

You could totally hide your homosexuality if you wanted to adopt that badly.

[SunWuKong]

single dudes can adopt...

You could totally hide your homosexuality if you wanted to adopt that badly.

but it's not a one-off deal right? won't they come and check on the adopted kid? sort of like how INS comes and does surprise checks on newly married couples that has a spouse that got his/her visa because of the marriage?

[BeTheReds]

Simple solution... adopt from Asia.

[shy]

I guess I'm just thinking about having children, or more like the reality that I won't be having any children.

cheer up...

i don't know what the future holds, but now that canada is allowing same-sexed marriages, adoption between two men will probably be just around the corner.

if anything, you're always welcomed in Canada. :)

[etcj]

cheer up...

i don't know what the future holds, but now that canada is allowing same-sexed marriages, adoption between two men will probably be just around the corner.

if anything, you're always welcomed in Canada. :)

Hmm...Canada...ahemm...well that's certainly an option...:bomb:

Well I'm sure adoption is a choice, but I'm gonna be crazy enough to say that I might actually do it with a woman to have a biological child (GASP!). I don't necessarily see anything wrong with adopting, but I guess it's just not the same.

[cmar]

"do it with a woman"? Now you ARE talking crazy.

Seriously tho, I would support your choice to raise a kid, whether your own or adopted. I think that is great. But personally, I am like Chris....I'm too selfish to devote the time and energy.

[shy]

Hmm...Canada...ahemm...well that's certainly an option...:bomb:

umm... and what's wrong with canada?

carefull... i'm trying to help. and i'm canadian. so i hope you weren't trying to hint at some insult to my nationality.

[SunWuKong]

Hmm...Canada...ahemm...well that's certainly an option...:bomb:

Well I'm sure adoption is a choice, but I'm gonna be crazy enough to say that I might actually do it with a woman to have a biological child (GASP!). I don't necessarily see anything wrong with adopting, but I guess it's just not the same.


toronto is quite nice and i hear that vancouver is quite nice, too.

[etcj]

umm... and what's wrong with canada?

carefull... i'm trying to help. and i'm canadian. so i hope you weren't trying to hint at some insult to my nationality.

Well nothing wrong with Canada, but it seems like a very big change. Besides, I think the US has to change its policies and laws like Canada. Instead of moving somewhere just to receive such parenting rights, I would hope things would change herein the US.

[shy]

Well nothing wrong with Canada, but it seems like a very big change. Besides, I think the US has to change its policies and laws like Canada. Instead of moving somewhere just to receive such parenting rights, I would hope things would change herein the US.

right... gotcha. sorry... i get dissed for being canadian so i thought you were doing the same...

i hope things change in the US... but somehow, i find that hard to see in the near future.

interestingly enough, after canada legalized same-sexed marriages, the stats from the states showed a decrease of those supporting the LGBT community and same-sex rights.

i don't exactly know why this rate dropped.

i'm tempted to read into it that there were some people who claimed to support the LGBT community because of image-reasons. i.e. it's the right thing to do as it's seen as being politically correct.

but once something came into effect that really shows a progress for for same-sex rights, these people get... scared off or something.

i'm not saying that this is the sole reason to explain this decrease in support (of said stats), but i can't help to wonder if it's a partial explanation at the least.

and i say this because even in canada, there are a lot of conservatives pretty pissed that the definition of marriage has been redefined by our canadian law.

i often hear this, "look, i have no qualms about those who are gay... i know people who are gay. and i have nothing against them! but the government has no right in changing what the definition of marriage is suppose to mean to me!"

the main argument i hear is that people are pissed that the defintion has been altered. it is no longer, "between a man and woman" and for some reason, they feel that the new definition doesn't define what marriage is for them anymore.

to be honest... and i know i'm ranting here... this is complete crap! first of all, i'd rather not hear people CLAIM to be supportive of the LGBT community if they can't see it all the way.

secondly... i don't know how this change of definition really effects straight-couples and their union of marriage. hell... enough of them take their wedding vows and the definition for granted...

one person who made the above argument has been through 3 marriages... like he has a right to say what marriage should/should not be? sheesh!

[SunWuKong]

hehheh perhaps a new thread needs to be started? "Gay Marriages"

or is there already such a thread?

[Faithless]

single dudes can adopt...

You could totally hide your homosexuality if you wanted to adopt that badly.

And when he tells his kid, what happens then?

[shy]

hehheh perhaps a new thread needs to be started? "Gay Marriages"

or is there already such a thread?

oops! sorry! i guess i went completely off track.. yeah. if there's not a thread about gay marriages, perhaps i'll start one.

carry on...

[tapestrybabe]

Well I'm sure adoption is a choice, but I'm gonna be crazy enough to say that I might actually do it with a woman to have a biological child (GASP!). I don't necessarily see anything wrong with adopting, but I guess it's just not the same.i see nothing inherently wrong with gay couples wanting to be parents... and i can see how some ppl feel its important to want to pass down their genes onto the next generation... HOWEVER, i dont see why gay couples should go out of their way to create new ones... when there are enough children out there who already need homes...

and oh yeah...
as an adopted child...
i would like to believe... my adoptive parents... view me as their REAL daughter... just as how they view their biological daughter...

[tapestrybabe]

Seriously tho, I would support your choice to raise a kid, whether your own or adopted. I think that is great.
sorry that gay couples cant create another baby with their significant other... but hey thats life... and i say just deal... choose adoption instead when there are plenty of other children out there... no need for gay couples to go out of their way to create new ones...

[shy]

sorry that gay couples cant create another baby with their significant other... but hey thats life... and i say just deal... choose adoption instead when there are plenty of other children out there... no need for gay couples to go out of their way to create new ones...

i agree that it would be more ideal for gay couples to choose adoption as there's so many kids out there looking for a good home/family...

but i can also understand how some wish to have their own children.

i guess it's a very personal choice.

[tapestrybabe]

i agree that it would be more ideal for gay couples to choose adoption as there's so many kids out there looking for a good home/family...

but i can also understand how some wish to have their own children.

i guess it's a very personal choice.yeah, i agree its a very personal choice... but with gay couples...
sorry... but i feel thats one of the things that they have to contend with... i dont really support gay couples going out of their way in bringing additional children in this world... i'm not saying... they cant be good parents... i'm just saying to them that they should learn how to deal... just like infertile couples learn to deal...

[etcj]

i see nothing inherently wrong with gay couples wanting to be parents... and i can see how some ppl feel its important to want to pass down their genes onto the next generation... HOWEVER, i dont see why gay couples should go out of their way to create new ones... when there are enough children out there who already need homes...

and oh yeah...
as an adopted child...
i would like to believe... my adoptive parents... view me as their REAL daughter... just as how they view their biological daughter...
I totally can accept adoptive children as my own children. However, I guess I'm just curious about what my own biological child would look like. You know, there's always that strange sense of anticipation about whether or not they will resemble you, or if they will grow up similarly or differently from you.

Oh well, just ovary envy for now...

[skatergrl]

I understand wanting to have biological children. If someone wants a child of their own, why wouldn't they want to have one that is biologically theirs? But in my opinion, adoption is a wonderful thing. If anything I would think that gay people, (couples at that), should have more than just the right to adopt a child. Think of all the children who don't have a family. Being gay should not be a reason why someone cannot be a wonderful parent. If anything, gay people are extending their love to children who obvioulsy don't have it from anyone else. What more can an adoption center ask for? If overpopulation is a such a problem in this world, from what I am aware of.........wouldn't people think that giving children a warm and loving home from two mothers, or two fathers, is better than not having a warm and loving home at all? :confused:

[etcj]

I understand wanting to have biological children. If someone wants a child of their own, why wouldn't they want to have one that is biologically theirs? But in my opinion, adoption is a wonderful thing. If anything I would think that gay people, (couples at that), should have more than just the right to adopt a child. Think of all the children who don't have a family. Being gay should not be a reason why someone cannot be a wonderful parent. If anything, gay people are extending their love to children who obvioulsy don't have it from anyone else. What more can an adoption center ask for? If overpopulation is a such a problem in this world, from what I am aware of.........wouldn't people think that giving children a warm and loving home from two mothers, or two fathers, is better than not having a warm and loving home at all? :confused:
Yeah, I totally agree with your point about the neglect that orphans receive. I guess your perspective would definitely be persuasive for me to consider adoption. For many children, youthful innocence is sometimes invigorating and sometimes ephemeral before they encounter homophobia and prejudice.

[YuheiCarreau]

Do you think gay adoption would become easier if gay marriages were legal? I'm not just talking about social acceptence here, I mean legally - is it easier to adopt when you're a married couple than when you're legally still single?

[shy]

Do you think gay adoption would become easier if gay marriages were legal? I'm not just talking about social acceptence here, I mean legally - is it easier to adopt when you're a married couple than when you're legally still single?

it's definitely something i've been wondering too. especially living in canada with this huge controversy AND acceptence (the country seems to be divided in the middle about this) of same-sexed marriages.

i would take a guess that for the time being, the answer would be no... it won't be that easy. only because there seems to be some things canada needs to iron out. and those that are greatly opposed to it will need some time to get use to the concept.

eventually, i think it will happen, though. i mean, if canada legalizes gay marriages, then adoption between gay couples will eventually be easier (at least that's my logic - perhaps i'm just hoping).