being gay and asian

[kasia]

sunwukung brought up in another thread how he was irritated that gays portrayed in a more acceptable light than asians in the mainstream media. while i agree with that statement on the whole, i do not think that it says very much with regards to representation of gay asians.

this seems to be a recurring theme. certain concepts or theories would apply to gays. others will apply to asians. but gay asians seem to be ignored or overlooked as a group.

should it be? or are there experiences that are unique to you because of your double identity (i.e., gay and asian)?

[skatergrl]

Coming from someone who is gay and asian, I know that I have experienced a lot of negativity based on the fact that I am gay and asian. I don't think that gays are portrayed in a more acceptable light than asians though. I think that gays and asians are both not accpeted as much as straight people and white people in general. If you're gay, you're gonna be discriminated against one way or another, and if you're asian, you gonna be discriminated against one way or another as well. So if you're gay and asian, the discrimination just doubles. The thing is that in my experiences, I have found the most discrimnating people to be straight asian men. Sad, because you would think that being asian, they would know what it feels like to be discriminated against and to not discriminate against someone of an even bigger minority......being gay and being asian. :unsure:

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by skatergrl@Jul 3 2003, 02:29 PM
The thing is that in my experiences, I have found the most discrimnating people to be straight asian men. Sad, because you would think that being asian, they would know what it feels like to be discriminated against and to not discriminate against someone of an even bigger minority......being gay and being asian. :unsure:
depends. if you grew up in a heavily asian populated area, then you'd probably not really be discriminated against. worse yet, you may grow up with the idea that you're a discriminated minority, yet you have actually not experienced discrimination first-hand.

and also, even if people have experienced discrimination, that doesn't dictate how they would react to it. some people choose to dish out discrimination themselves.

[skatergrl]

Originally posted by SunWuKung@Jul 3 2003, 10:54 AM
and also, even if people have experienced discrimination, that doesn't dictate how they would react to it. some people choose to dish out discrimination themselves.
why would you discriminate against someone if you know first hand what it feels like to be discriminated against? insecure maybe?

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by kasia@Jul 3 2003, 03:12 AM
sunwukung brought up in another thread how he was irritated that gays portrayed in a more acceptable light than asians in the mainstream media.
wait, did i seem irritated? i'm actually not. and if anything, my beef is just with hollywood. but i've pretty much given up on expecting better from hollywood.

[frcegrl]

Originally posted by kasia@Jul 2 2003, 11:12 PM
sunwukung brought up in another thread how he was irritated that gays portrayed in a more acceptable light than asians in the mainstream media.

maybe because these gay ppl are on the first layer, white (will & jack) and on the 2nd layer, male (where is ellen?) . even in the minority, there are minorities and then another subdivision of minorities. try being asian, female and lesbian (not in any spec order) and then not being born here. gay activism is also still very much white dominated. so yes, gay asians are overlooked.

but what do i fight for first? the answer is whatever defines me the most. from personal experience, discrimination comes in this order- lesbian (try a butch one at that), female and then asian. depending on where i'm at, the last two can be switched. but being gay is always top.

what a sad world we live in. :cry:

[skatergrl]

Originally posted by frcegrl@Jul 3 2003, 12:31 PM
from personal experience, discrimination comes in this order- lesbian (try a butch one at that), female and then asian. depending on where i'm at, the last two can be switched. but being gay is always top.

what a sad world we live in. :cry:
i couldn't agree more. being gay definetely comes first (and being butch comes before being gay). Well said frcegrl!!! That is why there is always that stereotype of lesbians being scary and manly. Or the old saying "Why are lesbians wanna be men?" Please, spare me. NEVER in a million years would ever want to be a man. Just the thought of that scares me!

[frcegrl]

Originally posted by skatergrl@Jul 3 2003, 12:38 PM
Originally posted by frcegrl@Jul 3 2003, 12:31 PM
from personal experience, discrimination comes in this order- lesbian (try a butch one at that), female and then asian.  depending on where i'm at, the last two can be switched.  but being gay is always top. 

what a sad world we live in. :cry:
i couldn't agree more. being gay definetely comes first (and being butch comes before being gay). Well said frcegrl!!! That is why there is always that stereotype of lesbians being scary and manly. Or the old saying "Why are lesbians wanna be men?" Please, spare me. NEVER in a million years would ever want to be a man. Just the thought of that scares me!
i have no intentions of being a man or even trying. i embrace my feminine side and besides, i can be butch when driving, dancing, eating or in the sheets....hummm...which one are you referring to? i can be a girl, a boy (cuz there is such a thing as boy's nite out) or a dog....so yeah...let's drop the labels.

but getting back to the topic at hand...does it matter who gets more coverage? we are all underrepresented....so the struggle is to oust the majority, not step on each other to get gain acceptance. damn i feel so preachy right now.... :)

[skatergrl]

Right on sista!!!! :D

[myself808]

I think gays appear to have better representation is simply because there are more. Estimates are something like 1 in 10 people are gay. So thats 10% of the population compared to US census of 3.6% Asian. Add to this the growing acceptance of gay rights, and vocal organizations

[Chinese Tourist]

Originally posted by kasia@Jul 2 2003, 11:12 PM
sunwukung brought up in another thread how he was irritated that gays portrayed in a more acceptable light than asians in the mainstream media.  while i agree with that statement on the whole, i do not think that it says very much with regards to representation of gay asians.

this seems to be a recurring theme.  certain concepts or theories would apply to gays.  others will apply to asians.  but gay asians seem to be ignored or overlooked as a group. 

should it be?  or are there experiences that are unique to you because of your double identity (i.e., gay and asian)?
cuz they're insecure and must divert attention to someone else

those writers are all in on it

those.. ok nm :D

but tru

[golden_buns]

Originally posted by skatergrl@Jul 3 2003, 10:58 AM
why would you discriminate against someone if you know first hand what it feels like to be discriminated against?  insecure maybe?
because gay and racial discrimination are different. Straight asians might now what is like to be discriminated because of color but don't know what is like to be discriminated because of sexual preference.

So basically, it's a matter of ignorance because we don't know what's it like to be in your shoes

[kuanyin]

hey lesbo sistas

i don't feel so lonely.

:D

try being biracial gay and female.

i often have the gay thing on top too. but in the asian community., i'm always talking about race because people end up wondering if i'm really chinese or chinese enough, or they get floored becuase i speak mandarin. and for the most part because i'm femme people don't necessarily believe i'm gay and try to check my sexuality.

yes, what a sad world we live in indeed... ;)

[kuanyin]

oh yeah...careful we don't get into that whole discrimination olympics thing!

[moschikat]

Originally posted by kuanyin@Jul 4 2003, 08:13 AM
i often have the gay thing on top too. but in the asian community., i'm always talking about race because people end up wondering if i'm really chinese or chinese enough, or they get floored becuase i speak mandarin. and for the most part because i'm femme people don't necessarily believe i'm gay and try to check my sexuality.

yes, what a sad world we live in indeed... ;)
*sigh*

silly people and their labels . . .

*hugs* :blush:

[Chris]

All my life I have been trying to walk that define line of being a double minority. But now. I embrace it. For I am unique and I am happy. I don't really care for the people who doesn't take the time to get to know me. But I embrace my freinds and family who treats me as an equal and see me for who I am.

[frcegrl]

Originally posted by kuanyin@Jul 4 2003, 08:13 AM
hey lesbo sistas

i don't feel so lonely.

:D

try being biracial gay and female.

i often have the gay thing on top too. but in the asian community., i'm always talking about race because people end up wondering if i'm really chinese or chinese enough, or they get floored becuase i speak mandarin. and for the most part because i'm femme people don't necessarily believe i'm gay and try to check my sexuality.

yes, what a sad world we live in indeed... ;)
wow...i know someone who has a similar background...and it did seem like it was a lonely place for her to be. you're part of everything and nothing at the same time.

but don't you feel like you are a beautiful mix? i thought she was....able to experience more cuz she was exposed to more. but it takes one to rise above all negativies to see that.

so when you're feeling that "alone-ness", you've got us....

"ohana" means family....

:P

[kuanyin]

well then i am happy to have "ohana" on YW. makes me feel happy & stuff. :blush:

thanks you all.

[Faithless]

Interesting web site for the gay and Asian:

http://www.gapsn.org/

[PuChAi]

Well i hear wut yu are saying Kuanyin, i fit in the same category as you do except being female.Its a lottt harder being an asian male and then have the other things to add to it its not that cool.ButI dont live my life out, so to speak.Thats how i am.Like this for isntance on racial discrimination tho, yesterday me and my cousins were kickin it at the mall, we went into Spensor goods and was all the way in the back lookin at the black lights.suddenly they turned on the lights in the section of the store we were in and 2 people that worked in the store came and walked around where we was and stared at us. I was pissed off.Altho i never put anything else first in my life.I am who i am, and there are many things that makes me , me before i am anything else.i am a brother , a son, a nephew , and a friend before i am anything else.Thats wut makes me who i am.Its not wut i am thats all that important.

[PuChAi]

Originally posted by Chris@Jul 5 2003, 09:09 AM
All my life I have been trying to walk that define line of being a double minority. But now. I embrace it. For I am unique and I am happy. I don't really care for the people who doesn't take the time to get to know me. But I embrace my freinds and family who treats me as an equal and see me for who I am.
I totally hear wut yu are saying.There is so much more to a person that wut they see or think, only if they take time 2 learn about the person rather than just judge.

[BeTheReds]

If they ever had a gay asian guy in a movie or on TV activists would complain about it.

[lethal]

One of the finalists in the series "Fame" is a gay Asian male.

He's really good too. He has a great chance of winning.

[Eros]

Isn't Alec Mapa asian or a hapa?  He played a Phillipino house boy on Friends (Chandler's father slept with him) and a Puerto Rican transexual on Dharma and Greg.  As for a more re-occuring role, he was one of the main actors on the short lived Some of My Best Friends (a show based off Kiss Me Guido) and played a gay character.  The actor is openly gay, also.

There was a cameo of a guy on Sex in the City.  In the episode where Margaret Cho guest starred, she was with an Asian guy that she said something along the lines of "This is my boyfriend.  And I mean that figuratively because he's a homosexual."

And if we expand it to hapas, Dean Cain was one of the main gay characters in Broken Hearts Club.  And we can't forget Amy Hill playing a lesbian on Strip Mall.

[Emperor_Mike]

It is a rather unfortunate twist of fate (or a deliberate set of machinations by the intolerant within society, depending on your point of view) that gay Asians are confronted with the difficult prospect of existing within two equally underrepresented groups. It is deeply distressing to even consider for a moment the challenges that confront the Asian homosexual community as it pertains to the general struggle by other diverse groups for tolerance and equality as a whole under the eyes of an increasingly circumspect Society. That the "stigma" of same-sex relations is coupled with traditional issues confronted by minorities seems like a cruel hand dealt by Fate, as it presents two very sensitive, yet very important issues for an inspection by the Mainstream in hopes of gradual acceptance.

However, in the long run this may work toward a greater and more open view on the aforementioned matters. It will take time and it will take a lot of perseverence, but in the end if the battle for recognition is prosecuted well, the rewards shall be within the Community's reach. As a supporter of all organisations and efforts aimed at promoting tolerance, mercy and compassion, I am confident that the Community will find within itself the capacity to champion this cause with the dignity, indefatigability, and assiduity required to effect the changes needed to bring about a future that is more receptive to individuals being homosexual and Asian.

[littlebutfierce]

i don't think i could separate the discrimination i face into categories... yeah, if someone calls me a dyke, on the surface it's wholly motivated by what they think my orientation is (& i could rant about how no one ever assumes someone's bi, but that's another thread...) . but how do i know that, say, their slur wasn't brought on also by me looking somewhat asian & maybe they think asian women should look super feminine or whatever? (ie. my shaved head threw them) eh, that wasn't the best example, but i'm tired. ;) anyway, i don't think i could rank oppressions.

i do think there are likely to be cultural issues w/being queer for many asians. i wasn't raised in much of an asian culture (plus i still haven't bothered coming out to my parents  :P ) so i haven't felt that myself. but i'm thinking of two recent movies i've seen, bend it like beckham & american adobo, on this one...