Family reunion: meeting white relations

[Redhawk]

My Aunt called, and she told me that my family is having a reunion, but there will be whites family members attending.
This is the first time that I have ever met white people who are related to me.
My question is: has anybody here ever been in such a situation before? What was it like meeting people of a different race that was related to you?

[Hiroshi2]

I'm kinda in that situation right now. Only I'll be meeting asian family members for the first time (they're moving to town). I've been trying to get my mom to talk to them so we can visit, but she appears reluctant. Naturally, this makes me suspicious and even makes me think they might not want to meet me :(

[Tao]

ah yes i've experienced this before. a couple of years back, when i was still in 10th grade, my aunt (chinese) decided to marry Ted, this chunky white guy who was a consultant at texaco. I behaved immaturely when my mom told me how they met. Since my aunt had been through this one marriage before, with a fucking prick of a husband, i thought she was getting desperate when my mom said she met Ted thru the dating service Higher Expectations. Needless to say, I was sceptical of this relationship. I thought "a successful attractive woman like her falling for some over weight hill billy, why I never!" (something to that extent). Yeah yeah i know i was being a bigot, but still I wasn't that mature back then so cut me some slack ;) .

So anyways, when they annouced their wedding, my family and I flew to cali for the get together, to become better aquainted with Ted's family. We ate at this grill place, and funny thing is that ted was the youngest of 3 children, and his older brother had 4 teens of his own. 3 boys and one girl. The boys scared the crap outta me, I thought they were all skin-heads or something, and the girl wasn't a picnic either, she wouldn't even say hi to my parents and grand parents let alone me. So anyways, the whole damned thing was awkward and uncomfortable. But in retrospect I don't blame them, I mean they probably thought my aunt wanted to marry this guy cause she wanted a green card or something, so hey, whatever, not like i'll be dealing with them anytime soon.

on a positive note though, after the wedding and they settled down, they had an adorable boy named Max. He was as cute as a button, and as mischiveous as bart simpson. So in the end I think it doesn't really matter how the families get along, as long as the two really care for each other.

Hope that helps.

[BeTheReds]

Well I hope these people are open-minded and I hope your family is too. Even if it's only in front of their face that you are polite, it will go a long way toward forging a somewhat better relationship thru the years.

Good luck!

[maldito]

Originally posted by Redhawk@Apr 13 2003, 03:20 PM
My Aunt called, and she told me that my family is having a reunion, but there will be whites family members attending.
This is the first time that I have ever met white people who are related to me.
My question is: has anybody here ever been in such a situation before? What was it like meeting people of a different race that was related to you?
I wouldn't worry about it too much, as intimidating it can be. They're still your flesh and blood and you are you b/c of the mixing that your ancestors did.

I know I don't really qualify to answer a question like this since people in this forum are usually just biracial and seem to have a hard time grasping both cultures simultaneously. But, I meet my relatives of different races all the time. :D

[Iconoclastic]

Originally posted by Tao@Apr 13 2003, 03:51 PM
ah yes i've experienced this before. a couple of years back, when i was still in 10th grade, my aunt (chinese) decided to marry Ted, this chunky white guy who was a consultant at texaco. I  behaved immaturely when my mom told me how they met. Since my aunt had been through this one marriage before, with a fucking prick of a husband, i thought she was getting desperate when my mom said she met Ted thru the dating service Higher Expectations. Needless to say, I was sceptical of this relationship. I thought "a successful attractive woman like her falling for some over weight hill billy, why I never!" (something to that extent). Yeah yeah i know i was being a bigot, but still I wasn't that mature back then so cut me some slack  ;) .

So anyways, when they annouced their wedding, my family and I flew to cali for the get together, to become better aquainted with Ted's family. We ate at this grill place, and funny thing is that ted was the youngest of 3 children, and his older brother had 4 teens of his own. 3 boys and one girl. The boys scared the crap outta me, I thought they were all skin-heads or something, and the girl wasn't a picnic either, she wouldn't even say hi to my parents and grand parents let alone me. So anyways, the whole damned thing was awkward and uncomfortable. But in retrospect I don't blame them, I mean they probably thought my aunt wanted to marry this guy cause she wanted a green card or something, so hey, whatever, not like i'll be dealing with them anytime soon.

on a positive note though, after the wedding and they settled down, they had an adorable boy named Max. He was as cute as a button, and as mischiveous as bart simpson. So in the end I think it doesn't really matter how the families get along, as long as the two really care for each other.

Hope that helps.
So THAT's where MadTV's Lowered Expectations skits came from...

[kimpossible]

Redhawk> do you know anything about them? Are they cool with being around non-whites? Look at it this way, at least you won't have a language problem and that's one of the biggest barriers for most of us.

It might feel a bit strange like 'whoah, we're related?' I remember my mom's uncle at dinner just staring at me and saying [the equivalent of] "I can't believe I'm related to foreigners." It's to be expected that you might experience some cultural differences. My advice is to let the smaller mishaps go if they happen. I don't think they would be going if they weren't interested in connecting to the family structure.

[Redhawk]

Originally posted by Hello_Hapa@Apr 14 2003, 08:07 PM
Redhawk> do you know anything about them? Are they cool with being around non-whites? Look at it this way, at least you won't have a language problem and that's one of the biggest barriers for most of us.

It might feel a bit strange like 'whoah, we're related?' I remember my mom's uncle at dinner just staring at me and saying [the equivalent of] "I can't believe I'm related to foreigners." It's to be expected that you might experience some cultural differences. My advice is to let the smaller mishaps go if they happen. I don't think they would be going if they weren't interested in connecting to the family structure.
Yes, these people who are comming to the family reunion are open to the possibility of meeting people of a different race since they already know about racial mixing in their family tree. In addition, there could be Native American people there too! I'm trying to learn a little French to impress them, but it's pretty hard.

However, on my mother's side the whites have never bothered to contact her, so I'm going to seek them out after I'm finished with this reunion. My grandmother was half-white, so I'm multiracial.

[Tao]

Originally posted by Iconoclastic@Apr 14 2003, 04:01 PM
Originally posted by Tao@Apr 13 2003, 03:51 PM
ah yes i've experienced this before. a couple of years back, when i was still in 10th grade, my aunt (chinese) decided to marry Ted, this chunky white guy who was a consultant at texaco. I behaved immaturely when my mom told me how they met. Since my aunt had been through this one marriage before, with a fucking prick of a husband, i thought she was getting desperate when my mom said she met Ted thru the dating service Higher Expectations. Needless to say, I was sceptical of this relationship. I thought "a successful attractive woman like her falling for some over weight hill billy, why I never!" (something to that extent). Yeah yeah i know i was being a bigot, but still I wasn't that mature back then so cut me some slack ;) .

So anyways, when they annouced their wedding, my family and I flew to cali for the get together, to become better aquainted with Ted's family. We ate at this grill place, and funny thing is that ted was the youngest of 3 children, and his older brother had 4 teens of his own. 3 boys and one girl. The boys scared the crap outta me, I thought they were all skin-heads or something, and the girl wasn't a picnic either, she wouldn't even say hi to my parents and grand parents let alone me. So anyways, the whole damned thing was awkward and uncomfortable. But in retrospect I don't blame them, I mean they probably thought my aunt wanted to marry this guy cause she wanted a green card or something, so hey, whatever, not like i'll be dealing with them anytime soon.

on a positive note though, after the wedding and they settled down, they had an adorable boy named Max. He was as cute as a button, and as mischiveous as bart simpson. So in the end I think it doesn't really matter how the families get along, as long as the two really care for each other.

Hope that helps.
So THAT's where MadTV's Lowered Expectations skits came from...
yeah actually i didn't know that it actually existed until my mom told me. i laughed and laughed

[speshllkay]

I remember when one of my distance counsins was trying to push up on me at a reunion...he didn't think we could be related. How stupid.

[Redhawk]

Originally posted by speshllkay@Apr 18 2003, 02:59 PM
I remember when one of my distance counsins was trying to push up on me at a reunion...he didn't think we could be related. How stupid.
Maybe this will cheer up, Thomas Jefferson's descendants tried to deny that they are related to Sally Hemming's family. Although DNA proved the Hemmings' case, Jefferson's descendants still won't accept them.
Jefferson was with Sally Hemming, age 14, in France and they had an affair. She had childeren by Thomas Jefferson and it was reported in a newspaper in that time.

There is proof that many races are related, but America has not yet owned up to that fact yet.

I hope your distant family member will see the light some day when some one will show him the facts about you being related to him/her.