'Gay' Used in a Derogatory Fashion

[kasia]

if not, why would you continue to use the word "fag" to insult another? why would you use the phrase, "you're gay" to tease a friend? why would you even jokingly tell another that he or she is gay when he or she finds a member of the same sex attractive? i mean, if he or she really were, you wouldn't have to be the one to *tell* them. presumably, they would know. there is no non-deragatory way of interpreting it. and really, once is sufficient. "you're gay" over and over is annoying, insensitive, and irresponsible.

[wylin]

yah, i am homophobic a lil because i dont want my child CHOOSING TO BE GAY, because i dont support the gay lifestyle because i thinks the whole ideology of anal sex and man to man/ f to f also love is disgusting and also i do not think homosexuality is genetic, instead i believe that its a choice a choice of preference thats why u never see me saying that homosexuality is a disease or is gene based. i think that people choose to be gay and that homosexuality and the preference for men is their choice, but since i dont see it as a biologically viable way of reproduction, its just the choice that sumone has made to take it up their arse.

i can have friends w/ gay people and i do have both bisexual (proof homosexuality is a choice) and gay by choice friends...but it aint gonna be my kid, and if my child shows homosexual tendancies or behaviors im gonna hire a prostitute to reeducate him or beat it outa him...either or both.

[Rogmok]

so is saying someone is "fem" (feminine) or girly... also insensitive?? Since most time when your calling some one gay.. your insinuating that they exhibit feminine characteristics. So if those are not attributed to their sexuality... would it be more PC?

[iris]

Originally posted by kasia@Jan 14 2003, 03:06 AM
if not, why would you continue to use the word "fag" to insult another? why would you use the phrase, "you're gay" to tease a friend? why would you even jokingly tell another that he or she is gay when he or she finds a member of the same sex attractive? i mean, if he or she really were, you wouldn't have to be the one to *tell* them. presumably, they would know. there is no non-deragatory way of interpreting it. and really, once is sufficient. "you're gay" over and over is annoying, insensitive, and irresponsible.
my thoughts exactly

[iris]

Issues aside, it's a serious question:

When used in a derogatory fashion, does it give the word a negative connotation? Whenever I'm faced with a comment like that, I choose to not take it as an insult even if it's not meant as one because why should it be? It's not my right to judge whether being homosexual is moral or not. It's not my life and I really don't care. If people are happy with their s.o. whatever sex they may be, then great. Peace, love, and happiness.

However, does ignoring the situation perpetuate a less than satisfactory definition of the word or does it lessen the negative beliefs associated with it?

[VV o n g B a]

the only problem i would have is if i had only 1 son and he was gay. b/c then the family genes would not be passed on (as i'm an only son). if i had 2 sons, and only 1 was gay then it would be fine. but with cloning on the horizon, maybe this will become less of an issue.

[kasia]

Originally posted by tazadar@Jan 13 2003, 11:37 AM
kasia,

I can't help but to think you are directing this question at me. I am not homophobic. I am not homophobic. I am not gay. I am not gay. I am not homophobic.

I am sorry for offending others for the annoying, insensitive, and irresponsible of "you're gay" over and over and over and over.
i posted the thread after seeing you use the phrase, "you're gay" a couple of times, yes. however, i have good friends who also use this phrase and i find it inappropriate. even i used it throughout middle school and high school. so this thread isn't targted specifically at you.

the reason why it angers me is not because i think the person who is being called "gay" would be hurt. rather, i feel for any gay people who might be within earshot.

take this scenario:

Person A: I had such a bad day today. My boss is such a jerk.
Person B: That's gay.

what is a gay person, upon hearing this, supposed to think? i mean, we use the word so casually, but this is a person's sexual orientation. the term "gay" defines an entire minority group. it's something that is very personal to them. they identify with being "gay". to equate their identity to "bad", "weird" or whatever is just wrong.

and "gay" is not another word for "girly" either. using the word in that way would be negatively stereotyping gay people.

[YuheiCarreau]

Originally posted by VV o n g B a@Jan 13 2003, 02:07 PM
the only problem i would have is if i had only 1 son and he was gay. b/c then the family genes would not be passed on (as i'm an only son). if i had 2 sons, and only 1 was gay then it would be fine. but with cloning on the horizon, maybe this will become less of an issue.
No offense, but how old are you? I'm not trying to be mean, but that sounds like something a 13-year-old would say.

[Chris]

Originally posted by wylin@Jan 13 2003, 11:15 AM
yah, i am homophobic a lil because i dont want my child CHOOSING TO BE GAY, because i dont support the gay lifestyle because i thinks the whole ideology of anal sex and man to man/ f to f also love is disgusting and also i do not think homosexuality is genetic, instead i believe that its a choice a choice of preference thats why u never see me saying that homosexuality is a disease or is gene based.  i think that people choose to be gay and that homosexuality and the preference for men is their choice, but since i dont see it as a biologically viable way of reproduction, its just the choice that sumone has made to take it up their arse.

i can have friends w/ gay people and i do have both bisexual (proof homosexuality is a choice) and gay by choice friends...but it aint gonna be my kid, and if my child shows homosexual tendancies or behaviors im gonna hire a prostitute to reeducate him or beat it outa him...either or both.
As the a person who is gay, wylin. I going to to shed a few things points that finds it to be disturbing.

First off. I did not choose to be gay. Nor did my younger brother. Both of us were brought up in very traditional Chinese culture which the culture shunned homosexuality. Both of parents are very homophobic and have threaten to disowned us if any us turn out gay. Giving that background. What in the hell do you think it that it was CHOICE. If I had a choice. I will have date girls, get married and have children. That is something both me and my brother want. We WANTED to carry on the Chinese name, We WANTED to give our parents grandchildren. We WANTED to be be normal in society. But can we? No, because we rather be true to ourselves and who we are. All my adult life. I have endure countless snickering of people and weird looks for being who I am. Not that I am fenemine in any way. I am just your normal guy. I even tried to commit sucide 3 times to end it all because I couldn't deal the fact that I am gay and can't change to be straight. You call that a CHOICE?

The gay by choice is the worse type of people to gay people. By being trendy and "being gay" it subvert all the things that I strive to overcome. Wylin, I do feel truly sorry for your child when you have one. Because even though my parents didn't disown me or beat it out of me. Their unconditional love as a parent superceded their own prejudice and fears. By my example. They learn that I can have a normal life and be happy with a man. They rather have me be true to myself than to fufill their own cultural stance.

Sorry if this sounds like I'm angry at you wylin. I'm not. It just saddens me that people misprecieve other people. When they only have one side of the story and not the other. I still have respect for you man.

[Chris]

Originally posted by kasia@Jan 13 2003, 12:10 PM
Originally posted by tazadar@Jan 13 2003, 11:37 AM
kasia,

I can't help but to think you are directing this question at me. I am not homophobic. I am not homophobic. I am not gay. I am not gay. I am not homophobic.

I am sorry for offending others for the annoying, insensitive, and irresponsible of "you're gay" over and over and over and over.
i posted the thread after seeing you use the phrase, "you're gay" a couple of times, yes. however, i have good friends who also use this phrase and i find it inappropriate. even i used it throughout middle school and high school. so this thread isn't targted specifically at you.

the reason why it angers me is not because i think the person who is being called "gay" would be hurt. rather, i feel for any gay people who might be within earshot.

take this scenario:

Person A: I had such a bad day today. My boss is such a jerk.
Person B: That's gay.

what is a gay person, upon hearing this, supposed to think? i mean, we use the word so casually, but this is a person's sexual orientation. the term "gay" defines an entire minority group. it's something that is very personal to them. they identify with being "gay". to equate their identity to "bad", "weird" or whatever is just wrong.

and "gay" is not another word for "girly" either. using the word in that way would be negatively stereotyping gay people.
That is a pet peeve of mines. I have people used it on me when they didn't know that I am gay. And believe me when I tell them I am gay. They don't know what to say....

[deez nuts]

Originally posted by tazadar@Jan 13 2003, 02:37 PM
kasia,

I can't help but to think you are directing this question at me. I am not homophobic. I am not homophobic. I am not gay. I am not gay. I am not homophobic.

I am sorry for offending others for the annoying, insensitive, and irresponsible of "you're gay" over and over and over and over.
You mean you're not? Shit gaydar is out of sync again.

[rakovlam]

Nope, I'm not homophobic because I don't have to worry. Gay men don't like me anyway. I like to call people gay sometimes because it usually make the other person uncomfortable, which is the point of making fun of someone.

[iris]

Originally posted by tazadar@Jan 14 2003, 04:34 AM
I believe there is nothing immoral about homosexuality than hetersexuality. Gay people are born to have a sexual attraction for the same sex, just as I am born to have a sexual attraction for the opposite sex.

How about you and I go make some babies? :)
Oh no no no. This woman is not a vessel and unlike some baby-happy fabulous ladies on YW, not ready for mini-people of her own yet. Rock on to the wanna be babies mommas, just not my lifetstyle 'o choice at the moment.

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by iris@Jan 13 2003, 03:43 PM
Originally posted by tazadar@Jan 14 2003, 04:34 AM
I believe there is nothing immoral about homosexuality than hetersexuality. Gay people are born to have a sexual attraction for the same sex, just as I am born to have a sexual attraction for the opposite sex.

How about you and I go make some babies? :)
Oh no no no. This woman is not a vessel and unlike some baby-happy fabulous ladies on YW, not ready for mini-people of her own yet. Rock on to the wanna be babies mommas, just not my lifetstyle 'o choice at the moment.
yeah seriously. why would you want to have kids with iris. i just want to have sex with her. the face down ass up kind.

[achtungbaby]

Originally posted by SunWuKung@Jan 13 2003, 12:47 PM
i just want to have sex with her. the face down ass up kind.
You're scaring me :ph34r:

[iris]

Originally posted by SunWuKung@Jan 14 2003, 04:47 AM
Originally posted by iris@Jan 13 2003, 03:43 PM
Originally posted by tazadar@Jan 14 2003, 04:34 AM
I believe there is nothing immoral about homosexuality than hetersexuality. Gay people are born to have a sexual attraction for the same sex, just as I am born to have a sexual attraction for the opposite sex.

How about you and I go make some babies? :)
Oh no no no. This woman is not a vessel and unlike some baby-happy fabulous ladies on YW, not ready for mini-people of her own yet. Rock on to the wanna be babies mommas, just not my lifetstyle 'o choice at the moment.
yeah seriously. why would you want to have kids with iris. i just want to have sex with her. the face down ass up kind.
hey, we are discussing about same sex love, not man-woman you fool! get back to da topic.

*raps knuckles with a ruler*

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by iris@Jan 13 2003, 03:51 PM
Originally posted by SunWuKung@Jan 14 2003, 04:47 AM
Originally posted by iris@Jan 13 2003, 03:43 PM
Originally posted by tazadar@Jan 14 2003, 04:34 AM
I believe there is nothing immoral about homosexuality than hetersexuality. Gay people are born to have a sexual attraction for the same sex, just as I am born to have a sexual attraction for the opposite sex.

How about you and I go make some babies? ?)
Oh no no no. This woman is not a vessel and unlike some baby-happy fabulous ladies on YW, not ready for mini-people of her own yet. Rock on to the wanna be babies mommas, just not my lifetstyle 'o choice at the moment.
yeah seriously. why would you want to have kids with iris. i just want to have sex with her. the face down ass up kind.
hey, we are discussing about same sex love, not man-woman you fool! get back to da topic.

*raps knuckles with a ruler*
as long as you're punishing me in a teacher outfit complete with glasses, my knuckles are all yours! spank me too!

[kasia]

Originally posted by Chris@Jan 13 2003, 12:32 PM
Originally posted by kasia@Jan 13 2003, 12:10 PM
Originally posted by tazadar@Jan 13 2003, 11:37 AM
kasia,

I can't help but to think you are directing this question at me. I am not homophobic. I am not homophobic. I am not gay. I am not gay. I am not homophobic.

I am sorry for offending others for the annoying, insensitive, and irresponsible of "you're gay" over and over and over and over.
i posted the thread after seeing you use the phrase, "you're gay" a couple of times, yes. however, i have good friends who also use this phrase and i find it inappropriate. even i used it throughout middle school and high school. so this thread isn't targted specifically at you.

the reason why it angers me is not because i think the person who is being called "gay" would be hurt. rather, i feel for any gay people who might be within earshot.

take this scenario:

Person A: I had such a bad day today. My boss is such a jerk.
Person B: That's gay.

what is a gay person, upon hearing this, supposed to think? i mean, we use the word so casually, but this is a person's sexual orientation. the term "gay" defines an entire minority group. it's something that is very personal to them. they identify with being "gay". to equate their identity to "bad", "weird" or whatever is just wrong.

and "gay" is not another word for "girly" either. using the word in that way would be negatively stereotyping gay people.
That is a pet peeve of mines. I have people used it on me when they didn't know that I am gay. And believe me when I tell them I am gay. They don't know what to say....
i think it's like this: we should respect members of minority groups when they tell us something is offensive. obviously, i take no personal offense to the phrase "you're gay" because it doesn't mean anything to me. but out of respect for my gay friends, i would ask that people refrain from using the term "gay" unless it is being used for the actual meaning of the word.

this is very similar to the kung fool situation. remember when most whites were telling us that the mask was not offensive? who were they to tell us what we should and should not find offensive? and who are we to tell gay people what they should and should not find offensive?

[VV o n g B a]

Originally posted by YuheiCarreau@Jan 13 2003, 02:19 PM
No offense, but how old are you? I'm not trying to be mean, but that sounds like something a 13-year-old would say.
24 bizatch :)

[Erendani]

Originally posted by Chris@Jan 13 2003, 08:29 PM
What in the hell do you think it that it was CHOICE. ... I even tried to commit sucide 3 times to end it all because I couldn't deal the fact that I am gay and can't change to be straight. You call that a CHOICE?

Hey Chris, I am sorry you had to go through so much pain in your life regarding this issue. I'm going to try to walk real lightly right now, and please understand that I don't mean to be disrespectful in any way, so I hope you will not take anything I say the wrong way...

I don't think I'm homophobic (well, I truly hope not), but I used to say a lot of things lightly that I actively try to stop myself from saying now... things like "that's gay," etc, to refer to something negative... I was brought up in the Christian church, and as I'm pretty sure you already know, homosexuality is considered to be a deviant lifestyle and a huge sin by Christians... not that I'm a really devout Christian or anything, it's just the way I was brought up. But this is one of the issues I am trying to understand because the Christian viewpoint seems to indicate that homosexuality is a lifestyle choice, but then I always run into people like yourself, who had never wanted to be gay, who desperately wanted to be straight, yet somehow ended up the way they did.

Umm, when did you first realize you were gay... was it sometime early in childhood? Do you think there was any "trigger" or trauma or anything of that sort to make you turn out as a homosexual... or do you truly think you were "wired" that way from birth?

Because if homosexuality is a sin, yet God "made" some people gay from birth, that's really not too "fair" is it....

[himura-dono]

in text slang, there's gay (homosexual) and geigh (sucky).

when i was in high school, lots of people would say "blah blah blah, that's gay" i thought it was a stoopid fad, so i didn't say it. then i heard it so many times it became habit. now if i have to say it, for some reason only on aim, i say that's geigh.


as far as out and about in the real world, i wouldn't ever say "that's gay" or "you're gay" unless i was with my friend anthony in which i tease him when we're sitting around. while he's checkin out guys, i'm checkin out the chicks. he'll usually look over at what i'm looking at and say "you hetero" to which i usually call him a "fag" but only because we're both comfortbale with it. then again there was cecile, who he even said if he could give up men, he'd bang her every which way.

i think as a rule it shouldn't be used in the way most people use it.

[Hanuman]

I'll be the first to admit that my family isn't the most open or liberal parents out there. My parents are very conservative, and they also seem to harbor many prejudices that are very, very old world. My father especially is very distrusting of jews, thinks all blacks are criminals and believes all gay people are 'sick in the head'.

My brother and I have given him the worst 5 years of his life from the time I was 16 until the time I was 21. During those years, I've dated jewish, black, hispanic, white and pretty much every nationality women out there. During that same time, my brother came out of the closet and announced he was gay.

He's a painfully good looking man, in fact he used to be a model, and for a while there you could see him plastered all over NY in those "hot97" ads. So this was a devastating blow to our father, who saw this as a child deliberately hurting him and "throwing away his life".

He did not choose to be gay, he just is. He could get pretty much any girl he chooses, but he's not interested. This almost tore my family apart, but my parent's love for a child superceded any ignorant biased beliefs they had.

We're now one of the tighest knit families I've ever seen, and my brother's never been happier. I wasn't sure if I wanted to talk this openly about this subject, since this is my brothers life we're talking about here. I'm a member of YW and I share my life openly with you all here, but my brother is not, and it's a little unfair of me to drag him into the fray, but I know that this is a topic that he'd vehemently defend.

My brother is a good person. I love him dearly, but this bigotry caused so much sadness, so much hurt and so much confusion in our early lives. I really, really hope (perhaps in vain), that the generation of kids after us don't go through the same mess. Just as I, as an Asian-american wish I'd never have to encounter another racist comment that makes me want to lash out, I as the brother of a gay man hopes he never has to hear another derogatory comment that makes him lament that who he is. I didn't mean for this to be such a long post, but this strikes close to home to me.

[kasia]

awesome post, tawee.

[wylin]

Originally posted by Chris@Jan 13 2003, 12:29 PM
Originally posted by wylin@Jan 13 2003, 11:15 AM
yah, i am homophobic a lil because i dont want my child CHOOSING TO BE GAY, because i dont support the gay lifestyle because i thinks the whole ideology of anal sex and man to man/ f to f also love is disgusting and also i do not think homosexuality is genetic, instead i believe that its a choice a choice of preference thats why u never see me saying that homosexuality is a disease or is gene based. i think that people choose to be gay and that homosexuality and the preference for men is their choice, but since i dont see it as a biologically viable way of reproduction, its just the choice that sumone has made to take it up their arse.

i can have friends w/ gay people and i do have both bisexual (proof homosexuality is a choice) and gay by choice friends...but it aint gonna be my kid, and if my child shows homosexual tendancies or behaviors im gonna hire a prostitute to reeducate him or beat it outa him...either or both.
As the a person who is gay, wylin. I going to to shed a few things points that finds it to be disturbing.

First off. I did not choose to be gay. Nor did my younger brother. Both of us were brought up in very traditional Chinese culture which the culture shunned homosexuality. Both of parents are very homophobic and have threaten to disowned us if any us turn out gay. Giving that background. What in the hell do you think it that it was CHOICE. If I had a choice. I will have date girls, get married and have children. That is something both me and my brother want. We WANTED to carry on the Chinese name, We WANTED to give our parents grandchildren. We WANTED to be be normal in society. But can we? No, because we rather be true to ourselves and who we are. All my adult life. I have endure countless snickering of people and weird looks for being who I am. Not that I am fenemine in any way. I am just your normal guy. I even tried to commit sucide 3 times to end it all because I couldn't deal the fact that I am gay and can't change to be straight. You call that a CHOICE?

The gay by choice is the worse type of people to gay people. By being trendy and "being gay" it subvert all the things that I strive to overcome. Wylin, I do feel truly sorry for your child when you have one. Because even though my parents didn't disown me or beat it out of me. Their unconditional love as a parent superceded their own prejudice and fears. By my example. They learn that I can have a normal life and be happy with a man. They rather have me be true to myself than to fufill their own cultural stance.

Sorry if this sounds like I'm angry at you wylin. I'm not. It just saddens me that people misprecieve other people. When they only have one side of the story and not the other. I still have respect for you man.
I came to the conclusion that homosexuality is a choice, because of many personal stories of my gay friends saying that they are enjoying the easy access of homosexual partners which in turn, shows me in combonation have other studies on male homosexual behavior made me come to the conclusion that homosexuality is a choice, because if it was a gene then the homosexual line would have died out a long time ago from the failure to reproduce. also i dont subscribe to the belief that there is a need of a abuse or deviant trigger that just at one point this person decided that i like this form of sexuality better then the other forms. That anal or lesbian sex is more pleasurable to them then say or vaganal intercourse... that they just create a perference in parter...aand in your case felt like u enjoyed the company of men more then women because u relate to them better, just like i feel more comfortablel being w/ TAPs then say Armenian girls.

Also, i think the reason genetics and gay gene idealogy are spoken about so often and rarely proved, is because alot of homosexuals have inability to accept their sexual choice, and instead are trying to use genetics as a scapegoat. I dont see the point of not just standing up and stop playing the victim and say " i like my lifestyle choice" and say that " i like this for of human to human sexual activity". Since its their sexual choice just like goth sex people choose to cut each other and drink blood, just as S&M people chooose pain as a means to orgasim, and just like pedophiles choose to love children versus adults(tho that one is wrong)... and these types of differing sexual be. Its a choice maybe not a concious one, but i will forever believe it is a choice.... a choice that i do not want my children to make...period. My son or daughter (tho it would be good to have her be a lesbian for a while, since no pregnancy worries) i'd prefer them to be on the path to passing my genetic traits on.

Everyone has a personal story of angst and sexual discovery hetro/ homosexual, bisexuals, pedaphiles, whoever... and scapegoating gentics, by using the homosexuality genetic arguement u could turn it around and say that pedaphelia is a genetic trait,, or that vamprism is also (gothic sex) a normal expersion of human sexuality. My statement is for gay people just GO be proud bout their choice, and stop playing the victim, because like other forms of sexuality they are just part of the current socierys list of possible sexual behavior.

who else agrees homosexuality is a choice or alternatively a genetic trait.

[wylin]

Originally posted by Tawee@Jan 13 2003, 02:07 PM
I'll be the first to admit that my family isn't the most open or liberal parents out there. My parents are very conservative, and they also seem to harbor many prejudices that are very, very old world. My father especially is very distrusting of jews, thinks all blacks are criminals and believes all gay people are 'sick in the head'.

My brother and I have given him the worst 5 years of his life from the time I was 16 until the time I was 21. During those years, I've dated jewish, black, hispanic, white and pretty much every nationality women out there. During that same time, my brother came out of the closet and announced he was gay.

He's a painfully good looking man, in fact he used to be a model, and for a while there you could see him plastered all over NY in those "hot97" ads. So this was a devastating blow to our father, who saw this as a child deliberately hurting him and "throwing away his life".

He did not choose to be gay, he just is. He could get pretty much any girl he chooses, but he's not interested. This almost tore my family apart, but my parent's love for a child superceded any ignorant biased beliefs they had.

We're now one of the tighest knit families I've ever seen, and my brother's never been happier. I wasn't sure if I wanted to talk this openly about this subject, since this is my brothers life we're talking about here. I'm a member of YW and I share my life openly with you all here, but my brother is not, and it's a little unfair of me to drag him into the fray, but I know that this is a topic that he'd vehemently defend.

My brother is a good person. I love him dearly, but this bigotry caused so much sadness, so much hurt and so much confusion in our early lives. I really, really hope (perhaps in vain), that the generation of kids after us don't go through the same mess. Just as I, as an Asian-american wish I'd never have to encounter another racist comment that makes me want to lash out, I as the brother of a gay man hopes he never has to hear another derogatory comment that makes him lament that who he is. I didn't mean for this to be such a long post, but this strikes close to home to me.
why is disagreeing that homosexuality is genetic versus a choice bigotry. because i dont see any definitetive data that it is genetic other then a choice. anytime the gay agenda is challenged they cry sexism or bigotry bullshit man. BULLSHIT...! sorry i donot subscribe to everything that the gay lobby has said, and i dont hate gay people i just feel sad that they have chosen to make up an excuse versus be proud of their choice. Just is or acts like then its a choice...in my book.

[kasia]

well, guess what? he says that, for him, it isn't a choice. i think he would know that better than anyone else.

and i don't see any self-pity of 'playing the victim' in his post. he was describing the difficulties that he had to face because he wanted to demonstrate that, if he did have a choice, he would have taken the easier route and been straight.


re: gay = homosexual. geigh = sucky. same difference.

[Commando_turned_MD]

Nope..........

I have some gay friends...... Gay folks are pretty cool.
But Lesbians are the best.....Not the ones w/ the mullets........... :gross:
The hot sexy lesbians, like Jenna Jamieson..... :P ...............Oh yeah.........

[wylin]

Originally posted by kasia@Jan 13 2003, 03:14 PM
well, guess what? he says that, for him, it isn't a choice. i think he would know that better than anyone else.

and i don't see any self-pity of 'playing the victim' in his post. he was describing the difficulties that he had to face because he wanted to demonstrate that, if he did have a choice, he would have taken the easier route and been straight.


re: gay = homosexual. geigh = sucky. same difference.
who knows the real condition of somone making that choice, is my arguement. the actualy societal inflience and psychology behind homosexuality (and choosing to be homosexual) needs to be studied more is the point im making and really i have made my choice that "homosexuality is a choice". Its not like im saying yah hez a queer and he likes hot rod in is his keishster. im just making a point about my beliefs bout this subject.

And there lies my choice and statement...! no much in this world is gonna change it! Till u can single out the gay gene and duplicate on test subjects turning a hetrosexual into a homosexual.

another thing why does being gay have to make everything so...how to say it...deferential to the Gay lobbies belief system(especially genetic homosexuality)... everyone tries to be so PC bout homosexuality...blah that attitude makes me wanna barf.

[VV o n g B a]

i have a friend whose family has a history of gay children. of course only 1 or 2 are in every generation, but that says something right? the only problem to it being genetic is that there are twins where one becomes gay and the other doesn't. maybe its a genetic tendancy along with up bringing?

[kasia]

Originally posted by wylin@Jan 13 2003, 03:19 PM
another thing why does being gay have to make everything so...how to say it...deferential to the Gay lobbies belief system(especially genetic homosexuality)... everyone tries to be so PC bout homosexuality...blah that attitude makes me wanna barf.
is it too PC for you? <sarcasm>we're only talking about someone's identity.</sarcasm>

[wylin]

Originally posted by kasia@Jan 13 2003, 03:28 PM
is it too PC for you? <sarcasm>we're only talking about someone's identity.</sarcasm>
everyone should be like non-pc and blunt bout their likes and dislikes, i dont see how it differs much from each persons ethnic identity. same shit, both personal and life alterting aspects of their persona.

[Chris]

Originally posted by Erendani@Jan 13 2003, 01:54 PM
Originally posted by Chris@Jan 13 2003, 08:29 PM
What in the hell do you think it that it was CHOICE. ... I even tried to commit sucide 3 times to end it all because I couldn't deal the fact that I am gay and can't change to be straight. You call that a CHOICE?

Hey Chris, I am sorry you had to go through so much pain in your life regarding this issue. I'm going to try to walk real lightly right now, and please understand that I don't mean to be disrespectful in any way, so I hope you will not take anything I say the wrong way...

I don't think I'm homophobic (well, I truly hope not), but I used to say a lot of things lightly that I actively try to stop myself from saying now... things like "that's gay," etc, to refer to something negative... I was brought up in the Christian church, and as I'm pretty sure you already know, homosexuality is considered to be a deviant lifestyle and a huge sin by Christians... not that I'm a really devout Christian or anything, it's just the way I was brought up. But this is one of the issues I am trying to understand because the Christian viewpoint seems to indicate that homosexuality is a lifestyle choice, but then I always run into people like yourself, who had never wanted to be gay, who desperately wanted to be straight, yet somehow ended up the way they did.

Umm, when did you first realize you were gay... was it sometime early in childhood? Do you think there was any "trigger" or trauma or anything of that sort to make you turn out as a homosexual... or do you truly think you were "wired" that way from birth?

Because if homosexuality is a sin, yet God "made" some people gay from birth, that's really not too "fair" is it....
Thank you for your kind understanding. I am willing to explain from my prespective and respect your preceptive as long it is a two way street.

My brother kinda figure it out when he was in 2nd grade, whereas I kinda figure it out when I was in 10th grade. Before then I didn't know what a gay person was until I encounter one from sex ed class. Beleive me I lived a very shelter life before then and sexuality was shunned in school. I knew I was different because I was looking at guys while other guys were looking at girls. There was not even a trigger in my family that could made me "trigger" being gay. My life was surrounded studying and going to school. I had no time to watch tv or do things that I watned to do because of schooling. I believe in my stance on it is chemical imbalance during pregnancy with my brother and I. For by choice I would have chosen to be straight. And that is a fact. Why would I go against society norms and be a straight person. That to be is a lie to who I am and who I strive to be true with.

As a former Christian myself. (Devout Buddhist myself now) I didn't like the fact that i was going to be damn for something I didn't want. The blind didn't get blind by choice or the lepers chose to be lepers? We must take the good and the bad. I know I am a good person and certainly now I see my uniqueness in who I am. If God can't see pass that, then it is his loss not mines. But I do have a lot of Christian friends and they see what I see in myself. That being a gay person does not compromise being the best person you can be.

[teaz0r]

i'm not homophobic.
yet. i don't know what my sexuality is.
i'm still trying to figure it out.
i'm most definitely attracted to men.
but i'm also attracted to women.
i don't think i'm a lesbian.
i don't think i'm straight either?

regarding sleeping with the women i've been with.
it wasn't like. she's a girl. and i want me some lesbian action.
it was like how i'd want to be with a man.
being with a woman made me feel more like a woman?
in a different way than men made me feel?

choice wise. i'm still unclear on that. but i think
i looked at each woman as her own person.
someone i wanted to be with. someone i wanted to hold and touch.
first her mind then her body. it just so happened that she had a vagina.
and we made the best out of what we had.

i've only made love to one man.
i've been with three women. and most definitely it was love we made.
i fell in love with who they were. their strength. and i admired them.
same qualities that would make me fall in love with a man.

the actions that i have taken have been scorned by society.
even among good friends i think i got it easy. just because of
the popular 'male fantasy of lesbianism'. but i think they all expect
me to get out of the phase. and marry and have kids.

i want to marry someone. most definitely. and have kids.
but at this point. i don't think the chromosome makeup of the person matters.
xx or xy. as long as i love that person.
yeah.

i'm not homophobic.
and i wish that we all can be understanding. but it's not an ideal world we live in?
people will have their ideas and their take on what is right and what is wrong.
i just let them be. it doesn't affect me at all.
i am the one living my life. not other people.

[deez nuts]

Bisexual?

Don't worry Pip. I'll still objectify you for who you are.

[teaz0r]

Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Jan 14 2003, 07:52 AM
Bisexual?

Don't worry Pip. I'll still objectify you for who you are.
baby, you're so damn hot.

[Chris]

Originally posted by pipSy@Jan 13 2003, 05:15 PM
Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Jan 14 2003, 07:52 AM
Bisexual?

Don't worry Pip. &nbsp;I'll still objectify you for who you are.
baby, you're so damn hot.
*sob* what happen to me? *pout*

[teaz0r]

Originally posted by Chris@Jan 14 2003, 08:27 AM
Originally posted by pipSy@Jan 13 2003, 05:15 PM
Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Jan 14 2003, 07:52 AM
Bisexual?

Don't worry Pip. I'll still objectify you for who you are.
baby, you're so damn hot.
*sob* what happen to me? *pout*
chris! you're my boyfriend!
we can share men together.
how about csb?

<3

[AznYam]

i came in my pants after reading pipsy's monologue.jk

[Chris]

Originally posted by pipSy@Jan 13 2003, 05:32 PM
Originally posted by Chris@Jan 14 2003, 08:27 AM
Originally posted by pipSy@Jan 13 2003, 05:15 PM
Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Jan 14 2003, 07:52 AM
Bisexual?

Don't worry Pip. I'll still objectify you for who you are.
baby, you're so damn hot.
*sob* what happen to me? *pout*
chris! you're my boyfriend!
we can share men together.
how about csb?

<3
I dont think CSB will like that hahaha but you can have CSB. :D Actually I am dating a steven hahaha

[deez nuts]

Originally posted by pipSy@Jan 13 2003, 08:32 PM
Originally posted by Chris@Jan 14 2003, 08:27 AM
Originally posted by pipSy@Jan 13 2003, 05:15 PM
Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Jan 14 2003, 07:52 AM
Bisexual?

Don't worry Pip. I'll still objectify you for who you are.
baby, you're so damn hot.
*sob* what happen to me? *pout*
chris! you're my boyfriend!
we can share men together.
how about csb?

<3
No. I don't swing that way. But we can still share Pip.

[Chris]

Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Jan 13 2003, 05:45 PM
Originally posted by pipSy@Jan 13 2003, 08:32 PM
Originally posted by Chris@Jan 14 2003, 08:27 AM
Originally posted by pipSy@Jan 13 2003, 05:15 PM
Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Jan 14 2003, 07:52 AM
Bisexual?

Don't worry Pip. I'll still objectify you for who you are.
baby, you're so damn hot.
*sob* what happen to me? *pout*
chris! you're my boyfriend!
we can share men together.
how about csb?

<3
No. I don't swing that way. But we can still share Pip.
I don't mind sharign pipsy. She doesn't either.

[teaz0r]

Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Jan 14 2003, 08:45 AM
But we can still share Pip.
i would like that.
a lot.

[deez nuts]

Originally posted by tazadar@Jan 13 2003, 03:59 PM
I'll make you the exception.
Rrrrrrrrright.

[lethal]

Originally posted by Tawee@Jan 13 2003, 05:07 PM
I'll be the first to admit that my family isn't the most open or liberal parents out there. My parents are very conservative, and they also seem to harbor many prejudices that are very, very old world. My father especially is very distrusting of jews, thinks all blacks are criminals and believes all gay people are 'sick in the head'.

My brother and I have given him the worst 5 years of his life from the time I was 16 until the time I was 21. During those years, I've dated jewish, black, hispanic, white and pretty much every nationality women out there. During that same time, my brother came out of the closet and announced he was gay.

He's a painfully good looking man, in fact he used to be a model, and for a while there you could see him plastered all over NY in those "hot97" ads. So this was a devastating blow to our father, who saw this as a child deliberately hurting him and "throwing away his life".

He did not choose to be gay, he just is. He could get pretty much any girl he chooses, but he's not interested. This almost tore my family apart, but my parent's love for a child superceded any ignorant biased beliefs they had.

We're now one of the tighest knit families I've ever seen, and my brother's never been happier. I wasn't sure if I wanted to talk this openly about this subject, since this is my brothers life we're talking about here. I'm a member of YW and I share my life openly with you all here, but my brother is not, and it's a little unfair of me to drag him into the fray, but I know that this is a topic that he'd vehemently defend.

My brother is a good person. I love him dearly, but this bigotry caused so much sadness, so much hurt and so much confusion in our early lives. I really, really hope (perhaps in vain), that the generation of kids after us don't go through the same mess. Just as I, as an Asian-american wish I'd never have to encounter another racist comment that makes me want to lash out, I as the brother of a gay man hopes he never has to hear another derogatory comment that makes him lament that who he is. I didn't mean for this to be such a long post, but this strikes close to home to me.
Wow...thanks for the words bro. Your family rocks.

[Hanuman]

Originally posted by wylin@Jan 13 2003, 06:13 PM
Originally posted by Tawee@Jan 13 2003, 02:07 PM
I'll be the first to admit that my family isn't the most open or liberal parents out there. &nbsp;My parents are very conservative, and they also seem to harbor many prejudices that are very, very old world. &nbsp;My father especially is very distrusting of jews, thinks all blacks are criminals and believes all gay people are 'sick in the head'.

My brother and I have given him the worst 5 years of his life from the time I was 16 until the time I was 21. &nbsp;During those years, I've dated jewish, black, hispanic, white and pretty much every nationality women out there. &nbsp;During that same time, my brother came out of the closet and announced he was gay.

He's a painfully good looking man, in fact he used to be a model, and for a while there you could see him plastered all over NY in those "hot97" ads. &nbsp;So this was a devastating blow to our father, who saw this as a child deliberately hurting him and "throwing away his life". &nbsp;

He did not choose to be gay, he just is. &nbsp;He could get pretty much any girl he chooses, but he's not interested. &nbsp;This almost tore my family apart, but my parent's love for a child superceded any ignorant biased beliefs they had.

We're now one of the tighest knit families I've ever seen, and my brother's never been happier. &nbsp;I wasn't sure if I wanted to talk this openly about this subject, since this is my brothers life we're talking about here. &nbsp;I'm a member of YW and I share my life openly with you all here, but my brother is not, and it's a little unfair of me to drag him into the fray, but I know that this is a topic that he'd vehemently defend.

My brother is a good person. &nbsp;I love him dearly, but this bigotry caused so much sadness, so much hurt and so much confusion in our early lives. &nbsp;I really, really hope (perhaps in vain), that the generation of kids after us don't go through the same mess. &nbsp;Just as I, as an Asian-american wish I'd never have to encounter another racist comment that makes me want to lash out, I as the brother of a gay man hopes he never has to hear another derogatory comment that makes him lament that who he is. &nbsp;I didn't mean for this to be such a long post, but this strikes close to home to me.
why is disagreeing that homosexuality is genetic versus a choice bigotry. because i dont see any definitetive data that it is genetic other then a choice. anytime the gay agenda is challenged they cry sexism or bigotry bullshit man. BULLSHIT...! sorry i donot subscribe to everything that the gay lobby has said, and i dont hate gay people i just feel sad that they have chosen to make up an excuse versus be proud of their choice. Just is or acts like then its a choice...in my book.
Listen, it seems like you've already formed your opinions on this subject and that's fine. I personally don't feel it's a choice, and my brother sure as hell doesn't feel he has a choice, but I'm willing to say, we can agree to disagree on this point.

Scientists who devote tons of money and time researching the debate over nature vs. nuture (or a combination of both), still haven't come up with anything definitive, so I don't expect any of us to suddenly have all the answers either. I'm simply stating that homophobia and people's ignorance surrounding it is just like any other bias, and can be damaging. Whether it's a choice, a curse, a blessing or simply something that just is, it doesn't matter. What does matter is that we appreciate people for who they are and not what they are. I feel thats part of the beauty of having a forum such as this.

[himura-dono]

Originally posted by kasia@Jan 13 2003, 11:14 PM
re: gay = homosexual. &nbsp;geigh = sucky. &nbsp;same difference.
ok, i know i'm not a lawyer so i don't have the ability to conjure up false meanings for slang.

anyway. yes, unfortunately i have to disagree with you kasia...for the first time.

gay does NOT = geigh.

some people think it does...*not pointing fingers* but it's not.

as far back as high school, geigh has meant sucky. gay has meant homosexual since i knew and understood the word's meaning.

in the vocal world i give no support to saying geigh as it sounds like gay; as you can't tell what someone means as you can't see letters in vocal speech.

in text when i see geigh, i know what it means when someone is using it. when someone says gay, i know what they mean when used properly.

[BaiginLong]

I guess I am slightly homophobic
I don't support the lifestyle and I wish that such a thing does it exist however since it does I have to accept it's existance and don't insult people for being that way
I have a few gay friends and I respect them for their decisions, hardships, and who they are but I for one am not one to walk that path
I don't like it when people call other's fags or whatnot and I myself do not use such words in an insulting manner because I despise bigotry of all kinds

[wylin]

Originally posted by BaiginLong@Jan 13 2003, 11:24 PM
I guess I am slightly homophobic
I don't support the lifestyle and I wish that such a thing does it exist however since it does I have to accept it's existance and don't insult people for being that way
I have a few gay friends and I respect them for their decisions, hardships, and who they are but I for one am not one to walk that path
I don't like it when people call other's fags or whatnot and I myself do not use such words in an insulting manner because I despise bigotry of all kinds
whoah i thought u were a homosexual...whoops!

[mrazntre]

i am not phobic of homo's

[SunWuKong]

going around in circles
closing...

[TyroneK(prettypretty)]

How many people on this forum are gay Asian males?

I hate to sound like a clueless tourist, but what's it like? How are Asians viewed in the greater gay community? Are there similar problems with emasculation and desexualization? Do you feel like you enjoy advantages among other gay people because you're Asian?

Feel free to rant about your problems. I don't know what gay APA life is like, so it'll all be educational.

[kasia]

a related thread (http://forums.yellowworld.org/index.php?s=&act=ST&f=36&t=5087&st=0&hl=homosexuals) about homophobia in the asian community.

[ChinaLama]

merged.

[Chris]

Originally posted by VBKao@Apr 3 2003, 05:12 PM
How many people on this forum are gay Asian males?

I hate to sound like a clueless tourist, but what's it like? How are Asians viewed in the greater gay community? Are there similar problems with emasculation and desexualization? Do you feel like you enjoy advantages among other gay people because you're Asian?

Feel free to rant about your problems. I don't know what gay APA life is like, so it'll all be educational.
How many people on this forum are gay Asian males?
hehe VB. I think you know I am for sure one of them. ;)

I hate to sound like a clueless tourist, but what's it like?
Hmmm. There is isnt much to on with that one. I am who I am and just living my life as a normal person. Just see me as being a guy who live life who sexually attracted to guys.

How are Asians viewed in the greater gay community? Are there similar problems with emasculation and desexualization?
Do you feel like you enjoy advantages among other gay people because you're Asian?

Gay Asian are tend to view as effemiate and girly. That we are cowards and won't speak up. That we are weak and submissive. I tend to like to break those sterotypes because I am none of that.

I want people to see that I am just your normal guy. Even though I am not. :) just unique

[kayla]

It seems late to participate since this thread was ended so long ago but...

I think the term "gay" is being used with a negative connotation so often is because our society prides our men to be masculine, assertive and basically everything "gay" isnt. I'm not saying that gay men arent assertive or masculine but society tends to view gays to be very "jack" from Will and Grace.

Look at all the men product commercials. The men deodorant, razor and car commercials all project the notion that "if you use our product, you will be masculine like these men". It'll be a long while where you'll see a gay man endorse a product AND assert that he is gay in commercials on national television. That will be the day when gays and lesbians are accepted by society as a whole to be legal, legit and moral.

[kayla]

Originally posted by Chris@Apr 3 2003, 07:15 PM
Gay Asian are tend to view as effemiate and girly. That we are cowards and won't speak up. That we are weak and submissive. I tend to like to break those sterotypes because I am none of that.
haha. that was what i meant when i used "jack" from will and grace. you beat me with the posting. :P

[ChinaLama]

Originally posted by Chris@Apr 4 2003, 03:15 AM

I want people to see that I am just your normal guy. Even though I am not. :) just unique
chris, you're FAR more normal than some of us YW freaks. at least according to that personality disorder test that was posted long ago.

[Tao]

well at least nyu is very accepting of gays and lesbians. just a couple of months ago during gay pride week the nyu bookstore decorated it's windows with the rainbow, and in BIG block letters read: "BE GAY!" Needless to say i was quite amused at the "agressiveness" of the message.


i personally don't have a problem with homosexuals, cause like 10-20% of the males at my college are supposed to be gay (don't actually know if it's true) but supposedly it's very high compared to other schools. Needless to say, I interact and deal with gays and lesbians all the time, and to me they seem like normal people, except they wear more stylish clothing :) .

[Chris]

eheh i know some of my friends are like that unforunate. Like tomorrow my friend wants me to baby sit his friend from chicago.

I mean this guy is the etiphany of what I am not. He effeminate, he has louie vittan bag swiht him. Hand limp the whole works. My friend think i will kill him by te night out. :D

[Azn Retribution]

Hm Dont know about gay people.. some of my best friends are downe(bi) though. asian girl and a asian guy.

not too comfortable with the whole thing though.
a tiny bit homophobic but im cool with it.
except when my friend is like "My downe friend there thought you were cute"
I'm all like ugh... <_<

[VV o n g B a]

i started hitting on a girl and was gonna ask her out until my friend told me she was lesbian. doh! she was cute too.

[mr. x]

its kinda like the slut comment is not always meant to criticize a woman's liberal sexuality

or motherfucker doesnt mean you fuck you mother, its just a a fucker +1 basically

[Shuriken]

This is a little off topic, but I just wanted to say:

I think it would be cool if gay Asians had their own forum in Yellow World's "Communities" section. I realize that GAs might prefer to discuss issues among themselves in a safer haven without the threat of unwelcome intrusions by homophobic (as opposed to heterosexual) eavesdroppers always challenging them about their sexual orientation. And that's understandable. So, I imagine that a Gay "Communities" forum at YW probably wouldn't fly. But it would be nice if gay Asians felt that they had a home at YW.

[kimpossible]

Originally posted by mr. x@Apr 4 2003, 11:14 AM
or motherfucker doesnt mean you fuck you mother, its just a a fucker +1 basically
oh god this had me laughing so hard. i'm saving it. :lol:

[kimpossible]

Gay, straight, doesn't bother me a bit except in the case of the person I'm married to. Be nice if he continues to be interested in my girly parts seeing as how we're legally bound and all.

[Elizabeth A.]

Most of my friends at church are gay and lesbian, and I just adore them (and I mean this in the least patronizing way possible). When I told my mother about my church, she said, "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll find a church with some straight people." I did a double take. Excuse me? Well, I didn't actually say that, but I was none too pleased. It's really sad how people harbor irrational prejudices.

[Chris]

Me and kasia have talk about it at length. But there isn't enought member on YW that would be interested. Unless you guys think it is as good idea. I be glad to bring up topics so enlighten you guys all. :)

[golden_buns]

Originally posted by Chris@Apr 4 2003, 07:18 PM
Me and kasia have talk about it at length. But there isn't enought member on YW that would be interested. Unless you guys think it is as good idea. I be glad to bring up topics so enlighten you guys all. :)
go for it, I think it's a pretty cool idea.

I think it'd be good to make people more aware of gay issues

[kuanyin]

well...this sure is interesting...

as the other gay person on the site, i've got a whole lot to say.

everybody has some level of homophobia....the fact that chris tried to kill himself three times indicates his own homophobia. tazadar, you saying your not homophobic over and over again only tells me the amount of guilt and (fear of how you're going to be perceived)you have for using the phrase "your gay" or that's gay." you know that teens are three times more likely to kill themsleves because they are gay as oppose to all the other reasons that exist for suicide attempts?? NOBODY likes to hear it, straight or gay. and yet we choose to use operate on such childish realms.

what this phrase also tells people is that its ok to say. then it leads to violence.

definition of homophobia = any fear of gay people, being perceived as a gay person or being associated with gay people in any fashion.

i'd like for anybody to tell me they are not homophobic. just think of your families - or maybe better yet, your friends.

it behooves me to tell you all that i am not out to my family (that would be my homophobia). i would rather "suffer' my family not knowing who i truly am rather than have them go through the entire process of dealing with my gayness. that's the only thing i've chosen to do, wylin. lucky for me my immigrant chinese family doesn't focus too much on whether or not i'm getting married soon but rather how much school i'm going to finish and which doctoral program i'll be getting into. or is that so lucky?

another thing, wylin, you wanting to hire a prostitute to "teach you child a lesson" is called child abuse - sexual abuse to be accurate. you can't buy a prostitute for a minor. so you may just have to deal with it. i feel sorry for any child you have - straight or gay or bi.

i hear people say "thats gay" in the asian and/or asian american community all the time. and i think that is about the uncomfortability both men and women have because the U.S. mentality has oversexualized our sistas and desexualized our brothas. then we take it out in the world to compensate for our own sexuality, whatever it is, even if you're straight - tazadar. i'm not suggesting that you ARE insecure, please, i don't even know you. i do know that people who say half the things they do, do it without a second thought of hurting people and communities out of "fun". at least chao siu bao is honest. i'd rather know where you truly are than hide behind an entire set of beliefs or explanations and/or some series of statements to clear your name or fighting your position out of fear.

on a lesser note, people don't take the time to get to know each other very well. we go on with filler word and phrases (like "that gay", or "your gay"). why can't we be more genuine?? don't people care??

[kuanyin]

btw, this doesn't make me mad at anybody...it makes me mad about the issue

[kuanyin]

OK, i like the gay forum idea, as long as it doesn't ostracize me from the rest of YW...i'm liking it more & more

[ChinaLama]

wow kuanyin, don't take it all out on wylin! he's HH's feeble-minded grandson.

on a separate note, i noticed a lot of yw ladies seem to be either bi or "bi-curious" but i don't know any outright lesbians here (i'm not sure if kuanyin is a woman). There may have been one. This is a far-fetched theory, but maybe society as a whole spends less effort on women than on men repressing what i believe to be humanity's inborn bisexuality, or rather, omnisexuality. yeah, i subscribe to a pseudo-Freudian theory of sexuality; i think we all start out with the potential to be sexually attracted to anything and are socially conditioned to repress this omnisexuality later on. so, for instance, the fact that lesbian porn is basically mainstream porn (in almost every porn movie, you'll see girl on girl action) but gay porn isn't might be one indication of how lesbianism or bisexuality, or at least bicuriosity are more accepted among women than among men.

it also kind of confuses me how a lot of gay rights ppl (maybe old style versus younger gay rights ppl) think bisexuals are traitors or wishy washy. to me, it seems to make a lot more sense to be attracted to both sexes than to just one's own sex. although socially speaking, it probably makes a lot more sense to be completely heterosexual b/c of social conditioning than to be bisexual or homosexual. This is in no way any attack on Chris or kuanyin, just what I think would be the result of the powerful influence of the environment on people's sexual preferences.

then again my omnisexuality theory, while it can explain heterosexuality since that's so heavily reinforced in society, it doesn't really explain total homosexuality. so there's room for error. i hope it makes some sense tho. or maybe a psychologist will reply and lay the smack down on me. :)

[kuanyin]

not trying to hate, just educate.

and HH can post and educate me if need be..i welcome it

i'm pro-peace anyway. not like i'm gonna throw down.

[Adaon]

hmmm, I like the thoughts about the forum about homosexuality. It'd probably help me with my uncomfort with certain aspects of homosexuality and help open up the communication for those of us who really don't have a clue about it.

BTW, how long is Wylin banned for? for life?

[Chris]

yay Im not the only one any more. woohoo!

[Tao]

Originally posted by kuanyin@Apr 4 2003, 11:10 PM
i hear people say "thats gay" in the asian and/or asian american community all the time. and i think that is about the uncomfortability both men and women have because the U.S. mentality has oversexualized our sistas and desexualized our brothas. then we take it out in the world to compensate for our own sexuality, whatever it is, even if you're straight
wow, well said

Yeah, I've been thinking about how much I used to say the word in a negative way. Like with my friends, I sometimes slip a "that's gay" or in describing "the gayness" of a situation. Deep down I know it's wrong to make fun of someone for something that's just part of who they are. And now that I think about it, I should have known better being a victim of bigotry myself (and i'm sure others here too). I remember the day when I realized that making fun of other races was just hypocrisy on behalf of myself. And it was so clear, how I can love others if only I realized those same effects on me. So after reading this thread, I ask why do we YW members come here for? To progess and heal from unfair judgement made by others. That's why we have these petitions and activites, so as to combat racial injustice in the world. Switch it around...why is such actions only exclusive to race? Isn't homophobia just another form of stereotyping and "assumptions" made on behalf of the majority in order to feel superior to the minority? It's funny how some people can't seem to grasp this idea. That any kind of pre-judgement and condemnation is wrong. One can't assume to know a person if all that's in his head is actions of those that LOOK similar to that person. No matter the debate of whether homosexuality is a choice or something much deeper, I only ask this one simple question to those that are still prejudiced: "Is he/she a good person?" Will you be able to tell me that? Surely the answer can't rest solely on one aspect. So instead of thinking this and that about a group of people, any group, at least first try to know something else about him/her before talking.

[anne]

argh my access got interrupted and deleted the stuff i was writing!

Anyway, Chris, Tawee and Kuanyin, thank you for sharing your very personal experiences with us.

I cannot share my thoughts based on personal experience. However, I have been fortunate enough over the last 7 years to have worked and lived in liberal and diverse environments with people who are open-minded, open and diverse. So, here are my thoughts based on what I have learned/gathered from friends and colleagues who identify as being gay:

Each one of them has told me that being gay was not a choice for them. Many of them have known their attraction to the same sex at an early age. None of them use genetics as an excuse, as Wylin says. THey don't know the reason, they just know that they are gay and they did not choose to be. The choices in their sexual orientation is limited to the people they date and choosing not to live a lie by pretending to be straight.

One of my friends has known he was gay since elementary or jr. high. He says if it was his choice, he too would have chosen to live as a heterosexual, because then, his family wouldn't have disowned him. Even the younger sibling who he fed, took care of and raised after their mother died disowned him. Anyway, my friend often throws around gay jokes and says "you're gay" to his friends, including judging how "gay" "femme," or "queenie" other men are. However, he is only using it with his familiars and does not think it's appropriate for others outside the gay community to use it because we don't understand. (like blacks who use the N word or Asians who joke about fobbiness amongst each other)

Another one of my friends is a lesbian. She was married before and had children in this marriage. However, she says she knew she was gay and not like others early one. She just did what she felt was supposed to be normal and expected by society and family. She says she has met other lesbians who she believes chose the lifestyle because they were jaded by their relationships with men. She believes that for the most part, gayness is not something you choose. She finds gay jokes and comments by others hurtful and gets mad at the ignorance. She also does not like it when others in the gay community use those jokes or comments either (perpetuating stereotype).

My opinion is that to be respectful of persons in the gay community, since they find it offensive and are the experts in this area, no one should be saying "you're gay" or making gay jokes. Same argument Kasie used for the kungfool costumes. I don't mean to sound preachy or anything, but I really do believe that we won't get over hatred or discrimination unless we look at people first and find out from them about issues we don't know instead of making assumptions and judging by them based on gay, straight, brown, yellow, black, or green. We all make assumptions, it's part of being human, but I think the difference is trying to be aware and making an effort.

[mr. x]

yeah, if a gay guy in high school were hella buff and tough i doubt people would call him gay to his face. Its an intimidation thing, cuz other guys, even scrawny types can point fingers at the perceptively weaker "fag." But obviously if he can strike fear into their hearts that wouldnt be the case

[kitty]

Originally posted by Shuriken@Apr 4 2003, 10:26 PM
This is a little off topic, but I just wanted to say:

I think it would be cool if gay Asians had their own forum in Yellow World's "Communities" section. I realize that GAs might prefer to discuss issues among themselves in a safer haven without the threat of unwelcome intrusions by homophobic (as opposed to heterosexual) eavesdroppers always challenging them about their sexual orientation. And that's understandable. So, I imagine that a Gay "Communities" forum at YW probably wouldn't fly. But it would be nice if gay Asians felt that they had a home at YW.
I agree! I'm surprised there isn't one already.

[kitty]

Bah... my brain is wandering... I can't seem to concentrate tonight.

Anyways, I think a forum on LGBT issues would be great! I'm so frustrated right now because I think sexuality is something minority communities rarely talk about -- it's almost more taboo. And then there's the question of whether one identity subverts the other (i.e. if you're Korean, can you also be gay or do you become defined by one or the other?)

Buuuut.... on the whole gay vs. geigh question, I'm going to have to agree with Kasia. The whole term "geigh" (or whatever, I've never heard of it) was derived from the term "gay", with the implication that something that was "gay" was odd, unusual, sinful, wrong, or in some way negative. To spell it differently is just to try and cover up the meaning and (I'm sorry) make people feel better about something that is inherently derogatory towards a particular community.

Why, for example, did people start using the term "gay" to describe situations or events? It's not like you can say, "oh my god, that is SO hetero!" [That was a tactic we used in my anti-oppression drama troupe whenever an audience member said 'that's so gay'... and whenever we said 'That's so hetero!', all the straight people would get uncomfortable]

As far as how I feel towards the LGBTQ community... I don't feel one way or the other. People are gay like people are straight. I don't think there's a "gay gene", but I don't think you can "turn someone gay"... I think it's sort of a combination of many factors including a genetic or biological disposition and nurturing factors. Without sounding too patronizing or self-congratulatory, I would probably have to call myself a straight ally (or according to one friend, a total 'fag hag')...

I feel a little weird about the whole "I have a gay friend so I can't be homophobic"... it sort of perpetuates the whole perspective that gay people are somehow odd or strange.

(... not sure if that made sense...)

[kimpossible]

Originally posted by kuanyin@Apr 4 2003, 08:46 PM
not trying to hate, just educate.

and HH can post and educate me if need be..i welcome it

i'm pro-peace anyway. not like i'm gonna throw down.
Eh? Educate you on what? Save me Jeebus I must be going senile already.

[kimpossible]

Originally posted by kittygirl@Apr 6 2003, 05:51 PM
Without sounding too patronizing or self-congratulatory, I would probably have to call myself a straight ally (or according to one friend, a total 'fag hag')...


We can still get involved indirectly. From time to time I donate time and/or money to PFLAG. It's a very political animal like any other org can be but it's a way I can show my support without imposing my breederness on everyone.

[kitty]

yeah... I've just had conversations with people who claim that an ally can't truly exist because they can't know what the oppressed community is experiencing and is just a way to make members of the majority feel better about themselves.... I understand the argument but I also think there's no real way to start making a difference unless you change the mindset of the mainstream person by person.

[kuanyin]

well, how's about we get a forum started?? then i can bring on my gay asian friends and we'll have a whole discussion on gay issues. so can somebody get it started?? what does it take to be a moderator around here?

[myself808]

Originally posted by rakovlam@Jan 13 2003, 12:37 PM
Nope, I'm not homophobic because I don't have to worry. Gay men don't like me anyway. I like to call people gay sometimes because it usually make the other person uncomfortable, which is the point of making fun of someone.
You must be either hideously ugly and/or obese if you think gay men don't look at you because for every type of man there is a gay man who likes that type (above types are general exceptions). I guess since you like calling people derogatory names to make them "uncomfortable" you don't have a problem when someone calls you a slant-eye right?

a gay person never uses the phrase "that's gay" the way someone from South Park uses it. It's like how a black person can call another black person "nigger" but a non black person can't. It's not exactly the same but it's along those lines.

[kimpossible]

This is just a personal request and not directed at anyone in particular. Please keep in mind this is just a request and not meant as anything more. The N word really bothers me. I realize I'm a jackass and use a lot of foul language and have no grounds to be holier than thou or point fingers, so please don't take it this way, but for some reason it's the N word that really gets to me. It just seems so heavy with historical hatred, murder and dehuminization.

This unwanted public service announcement brought to you by HH.

[kitty]

HH, just curious ... does the N-word bother you more than other ethnic slurs like... "redskin" or "chink"? just curious, since I find a lot of people think the N word is particularly loaded and taboo and other slurs aren't, and I've always wondered about that.

[kimpossible]

Originally posted by kittygirl@Apr 7 2003, 08:32 PM
HH, just curious ... does the N-word bother you more than other ethnic slurs like... "redskin" or "chink"? just curious, since I find a lot of people think the N word is particularly loaded and taboo and other slurs aren't, and I've always wondered about that.
Yes, but I can't justify why. I'm totally open to suggestions why this might be. I honestly don't know.

[BeTheReds]

This thread is so gay.
(Sorry, had to do it.)

[myself808]

Reds: grow up!
Kuanyin,Chris: excellent posts, as the other other gay person i have to say: you go girl!

strictly speaking, there is no gay gene per se but a genetic tendency towards this beahvior, which may or not manifest itself. it's like the cancer gene, while you may have the genetic disposition for it, you may not get it. but if you smoke three packs of cigarettes a day you are definately increasing your chances, yet the are some people who have smoked till they are 100 years old and others who never made it past 50. So it's a combination of nature and nurture. Even if you believe it's a choice (which i don't) should not that choice be respected? Society gives preferential treatment only to those who make the correct choice.

[ChinaLama]

^ i think btr was kidding. relax. :)

[kitty]

Originally posted by Hello_Hapa@Apr 8 2003, 04:41 AM
Yes, but I can't justify why. I'm totally open to suggestions why this might be. I honestly don't know.
Is it possible that the n-word is associated with what has become in our American society the ultimate oppressed which is pitched against the ultimate oppressor in a black-white structured spectrum of oppression? By using the n-word, you are almost painting yourself as being the ultimate racist, since we see blacks as the most oppressed? Because if you think about it logically, the words chink and jap, as well as redskin (and other ethnic slurs against native americans) have been used in the same context to oppress as the n-word.

It might also have to do with the strength of the civil rights movement that made it virtually illegal to be racist against blacks, but similar "punishments" haven't yet been delineated for people to be seen as racist against the "lesser minorities".

[kimpossible]

Originally posted by kittygirl@Apr 8 2003, 06:53 PM
Is it possible that the n-word is associated with what has become in our American society the ultimate oppressed which is pitched against the ultimate oppressor in a black-white structured spectrum of oppression? By using the n-word, you are almost painting yourself as being the ultimate racist, since we see blacks as the most oppressed? Because if you think about it logically, the words chink and jap, as well as redskin (and other ethnic slurs against native americans) have been used in the same context to oppress as the n-word.

It might also have to do with the strength of the civil rights movement that made it virtually illegal to be racist against blacks, but similar "punishments" haven't yet been delineated for people to be seen as racist against the "lesser minorities".
Oddly enough, I don't think that's the reason for me personally. I just can't hear or see the word without the thought of some gross, nasty white toothless 17th or 18th century overseer herding people up like cattle, raping women or molesting children. I conjure up everything I've read or watched about slavery. In this instance it's not because I'm politically cautious, I just nasty overseer image in my head and get pukey feeling. Similar to what I would feel if I was trying to imagine Hiroshima post-bomb. Or US soldiers unchecked in Vietnam. Or trying to imagine the Holocaust. My little brain just goes on overload.

But yeah, maybe I am a product of post civil rights movement America (or however you would like to term it) and don't realize it. :)

[kimpossible]

To get this back on topic...

I wish I had some great tear jerking story in the guise of an afterschool special about how my sister came out to me but in reality it went rather smooth. So smooth that she was almost mad that I didn't have a perceptible reaction. Maybe she thought I was hiding my 'true' feelings or something.

It's been tough going for my parents. After some rough patches they're finally starting to get over the notion that this is a phase for her. For me, I just want to see her in a healthy and happy relationship. I've really hated some of her past girlfriends not because they were girlfriends instead of boyfriends but because they were too nosy into my personal life or outright unhealthy for her (read: drug use). But now I think she has a keeper; a doctor. My sister is out and open in her relationship around me. As far as I'm concernced if they get married or have a civic union or whatever, her girlfriend/wife becomes part of the family. I plan on throwing them a bridal shower and help them plan the wedding if they want the help. If or when I have children, they'll just have two aunts.

My biggest obstacle to overcome was to make sure I change my language when it came to relationships to make sure when we talk we could relate. I tend to say 'partner' or 'mate' when I speak with her instead of husband or boyfriend. I try my best to make sure that I don't inadvertently impose some sort of hetero template as the norm.

edit: I just realized that I'm not sure my sister or I qualify as Asian. Oh well. I'm going to bed.

[mr. x]

my sociology teacher said that the word "faggot" came from middle england or something when they burned gays at the stake and referred to them as "faggots" because that word mean "a bundle of sticks"

[kuanyin]

whoa, i'm gone for a day and look at what happens. so here's my take:

any slur that degrades people is wrong....in my political activism i make it a point to teach young people that any and all slurs used to degrade people of color, women, LGBTQers, jews, anyone...is WRONG. why? because it is unproductive. while the foundation of racism in this country is founded on a black-white paradigm, institutionalized power oppresses all races. therefore it is important for us, in the process of combatting racism, not to pit ourselves against the idea of what i call oppression olympics. slide this idea over to sexism, heterosexism, immigration, anti-semitism and other forms of religious oppression and for me, i realize the uselessness of using any slur. now i don't call myself the best person, i certainly screw up and slip and will use the b-word, but i always check myself and keep on working for that unity that i beieve we all need to fight for what is right.

this also extends to the idea that people can degrade themselves in their own groups, i.e. using slurs about their own group when talking about themselves or others in their group. why is this? because it sets up a precedent of internalized racism and self-hatred. i have only ever heard people in the asian community throw slurs about our own group to make jokes. what for? why is it so funny?
i think its degrading. and to be even more bold, i don't like that post that we've got that asks who we think is most closely associated with new immigrants. what's that all about? it just seems to me that we set up a precedent to assimilate into this country as white people would have us. because that's the only way to be accepted.

to myself808....YEAH!! hi! we now have three outpeople at YW! i'm so excited!

[Chris]

Originally posted by myself808@Apr 8 2003, 03:27 PM
Reds: grow up!
Kuanyin,Chris: excellent posts, as the other other gay person i have to say: you go girl!

strictly speaking, there is no gay gene per se but a genetic tendency towards this beahvior, which may or not manifest itself. it's like the cancer gene, while you may have the genetic disposition for it, you may not get it. but if you smoke three packs of cigarettes a day you are definately increasing your chances, yet the are some people who have smoked till they are 100 years old and others who never made it past 50. So it's a combination of nature and nurture. Even if you believe it's a choice (which i don't) should not that choice be respected? Society gives preferential treatment only to those who make the correct choice.
yay another one. I don't feel so lonely any more.

*group hug to kuanyin and myself808*

[kitty]

Originally posted by mr. x@Apr 9 2003, 04:58 AM
my sociology teacher said that the word "faggot" came from middle england or something when they burned gays at the stake and referred to them as "faggots" because that word mean "a bundle of sticks"
That makes sense, actually... considering "faggots" now refer to cigarettes as well....

[mr. x]

Originally posted by kittygirl@Apr 10 2003, 06:23 PM
That makes sense, actually... considering "faggots" now refer to cigarettes as well....
yup, so when an englishman asks you if he can "bum a fag" he's not asking for sexual favors :rolleyes:

they did this thing on the Tonight Show where the ever so feminine Ross the Intern goes to England and in a bit, an englishman in a pub is talking about fags being cigarettes and Ross is like "oh no, dont say that, that word fag"

[etcj]

Somehow this topic has become an age-old discussion about the use of language and its power over people. I find it kind of odd, and a bit disconcerting, that the whole "you're gay" thing has become one of those dead topics in terms of creating social change. In a sense, I think we all can agree that language and words are liberating. What many of you have said is that language can also be confining too. In that sense, "you're gay" puts people into a box/prison. In that confinement, they become stigmatized.

That is banal, so let's put an Asian & Pacific Islander spin on it, OK?

Have you ever considered the consequences of "you're gay" being used in our community? As an already marginalized community, we are made to feel like a minority in this country. Are we minorities? In some places, no, we are very much the majority. Whether or not we are part of the majority status, one still must consider how many people still consider us to be outsiders.

That "foreigner" mindset is the same as how gay people are made to feel. Therefore, can you imagine a gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender person's feeling about being an outsider? Our use of language in this scenario becomes more potent (and more harmful). By perpetuating this negative/harmful use of language, we threaten ourselves and the people within our own community.

Hey, if you are willing to bash white guys, then I probably won't stop you. However, if it's being used in our community, then you are simply marginalizing yourself, thus making yourself even more lonely in this white-dominated society. You might saying, "Why is it ok to bash white guys?" Basically because they are not marginalized to the degree they are. By no means do I justify one type of bigotry with an another. I did read a good political cartoonist's interview where he said something along the lines of, "I'll just stick to drawing white guys. They never complain about my comics."

It's all about the power of language. Language is powerful, so use it useful, cuz you don't want us to go back to the whole thing about "chinks". Sighh..

[ChineseTourist]

Hmm

The few gay people I've met seem extremely "safe" to be around.

But.

There are those who have tried to pick me up or flirt with me - and this is borderline threatening. What was worst was 2 gay high school teachers who nonverbally flirted, where gayness was implicit.

That filled me with hatred.

With these physical signals and such it was like a primordial power play of sorts, like these bastards were trying to dominate me - fuxx that shit, I have to say that I would kill them. It is hard to write many words about it, but I must however crudely tell the truth.

In high school I was angsty and hated the place anyway, and of course didn't communicate with my teachers, so that we didn't clear this shit up, among other issues with other teachers heh.

By getting to know a gay person their whatever is threatening about them is probably neutralized, since they are after all non competitors for women and I have to say, much less manly and and consequently undangerous.

However in flirting with me physically without expressing well meaning (verbally of course, but for some reason I'm not feeling like mentioning words), it becomes very primordial and since I DO have a male identity I extremely and violently resist being subservient.

It's not like I was traumatized for life or what have ya, but if those physical signals come up I immediately want to fight. I mean immediate - (insert expletives and whoop and threats of death)

But I have always been one to fight. :D

And hell yeah, I am crass and rude and the stereotypical guy things.. I enjoy the surge of testosterone.

It must be my hotness that people are attracted too.. :lol: and I am musical and artistic and shit and appreciate beauty so people are misled. It is immaturity on my part, survival of childhood brain functions (music and art are primarily right hemisphere functions, and in kids right hemisphere is dominant until age 6), rather than any feminization - people need to rely on their right hemisphere, pattern recognition, to see feel and sense the truth, rather than left hemisphere, looking at bits and pieces and fragments and trying to fit them into some ruleset.

A long ramble - but I failed English so fux that and bear with it.

[vinyl*kid]

Saying "that's gay" is like (to use another hypothetical scenario):

A: Dude, I was so drunk last night I couldn't get it up!
B: Yo, that's so Asian.

Ok so now it brings it on a personal front.

It dehumanizes an entire group of people and affiliates them (whether you intend it to or not) with something derogatory (same w/ assuming all gay men are feminine or all lesbians are butch).

Is it that big a deal to stop using it?
Is it more important to you that you and your buddies get a laugh for maybe a second than regarding someone else's feelings?

[etcj]

Originally posted by vinyl*kid@Apr 12 2003, 09:53 PM
It dehumanizes an entire group of people and affiliates them (whether you intend it to or not) with something derogatory (same w/ assuming all gay men are feminine or all lesbians are butch).

Is it that big a deal to stop using it?
Is it more important to you that you and your buddies get a laugh for maybe a second than regarding someone else's feelings?
(Hmm..I should have proofread some of my posts a bit more before I click that button.)

I think vinyl*kid has definitely hit a part of what language can do. 1) It creates stereotypes through the application of specific words and terms. 2) It promotes misconceptions among its users by perpetuating (negative) stereotypes.

A question has always been about reclaiming the language. You know what I mean...the whole phenomenon regarding "nigger". (Oh crap, I'm not black, I'm shouldn't use that word. <_< ) Unfortunately, I don't think US culture has gotten that far to give the gay community enough power to reclaim the language. At this point, it's still quite risque to use the words in comedy if not in daily speech.

[maldito]

Originally posted by wylin@Jan 13 2003, 11:15 AM
because i thinks the whole ideology of anal sex and man to man/ f to f also love is disgusting and also i do not think homosexuality is genetic

First, it's not genetic. Second, you obviously know nothing about sex. Anal sex is NOT limited to homosexuals. :lol: Also, not all homosexuals practice anal sex. :lol:

It's ok to not support that lifestyle, but PLEASE get your info. correct.

[kitty]

Originally posted by ChineseTourist@Apr 12 2003, 08:57 PM
There are those who have tried to pick me up or flirt with me - and this is borderline threatening.&nbsp; What was worst was 2 gay high school teachers who nonverbally flirted, where gayness was implicit.

That filled me with hatred.

why do you find ppl hitting on you threatening? This is the defense used by the killers of matthew sheppard, and I find it scary that most of society accepts it, even as a reason to kill.

also, are you sure they were flirting with you, b/c it's quite possible that once you found out they were gay, you started "seeing" things that weren't there. Not all gay people are sexually charged but they are seen that way because they are categorized by their sexuality.

[etcj]

Originally posted by maldito@Apr 13 2003, 03:29 PM
It's ok to not support that lifestyle, but PLEASE get your info. correct.
I wouldn't exactly call it lifestyle...there's a solid distinction between lifestyle and sexual orientation. A person's lifestyle is more or less a group of activities and behaviors that can be changed. It's similar to the term, sexual preference. The community has pushed for sexual orientation, because it goes beyond just a set of behaviors or activities; it places more emphasis upon a sense of knowing & feeling within oneself. It's almost spiritual in a sense when we talk about sexuality and sexual orientation.

Sometimes the fact that heterosexual folks thinks that it's a lifestyle is the reason why they feel it's OK to discriminate or bash. If it's expressed as this intangible, nearly unchangeable element of one's life, then we can say to people that they must accept gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender folks for who they are.

Definitely a bit confusing, yes....

Perhaps someone should start a new thread on some more focused issues that folks brought? How about Kasia... hehe

[etcj]

Originally posted by Shuriken@Apr 15 2003, 04:22 PM
Here is an issue that I've been wondering about:

I've heard that gay Asian American men never — or hardly ever — have Asian partners, and that most have white partners.&nbsp; Is this true?&nbsp; (The few gay Asian men I know are all in interracial relationships.&nbsp; But I don't know them well enough to feel comfortable talking to them about this subject.)&nbsp; And if so, what is anyone to conclude from such a fact?&nbsp; Does this cast added light on the issue of heterosexual interracial relationships?&nbsp;

I hope that this topic isn't too sensitive.&nbsp; I'm not trying to stir up a hornets' nest or make anyone angry.&nbsp; But if true, this seems like an intriguing factoid.&nbsp; Why don't more gay Asian American men have Asian partners?
How about starting a new thread? You asked a pretty good question and it'll definitely generate a lot of responses... does anyone want to take the initiative?

[deez nuts]

Originally posted by ChineseTourist@Apr 12 2003, 03:57 PM
Hmm

The few gay people I've met seem extremely "safe" to be around.

But.

There are those who have tried to pick me up or flirt with me - and this is borderline threatening. What was worst was 2 gay high school teachers who nonverbally flirted, where gayness was implicit.

That filled me with hatred.


don't be scared, he was probably looking for a submissive asian boy.

just say you're flattered but the only hershey highway you ride is your girlfriend's.

[deez nuts]

Originally posted by etcj@Apr 15 2003, 04:33 PM
Originally posted by Shuriken@Apr 15 2003, 04:22 PM
Here is an issue that I've been wondering about:

I've heard that gay Asian American men never — or hardly ever — have Asian partners, and that most have white partners. Is this true? (The few gay Asian men I know are all in interracial relationships. But I don't know them well enough to feel comfortable talking to them about this subject.) And if so, what is anyone to conclude from such a fact? Does this cast added light on the issue of heterosexual interracial relationships?

I hope that this topic isn't too sensitive. I'm not trying to stir up a hornets' nest or make anyone angry. But if true, this seems like an intriguing factoid. Why don't more gay Asian American men have Asian partners?
How about starting a new thread? You asked a pretty good question and it'll definitely generate a lot of responses... does anyone want to take the initiative?
how about you take the initiative. i can count the number of out of the closet gay people on one hand on this forum.

[deez nuts]

Originally posted by maldito@Apr 13 2003, 03:29 PM
Originally posted by wylin@Jan 13 2003, 11:15 AM
because i thinks the whole ideology of anal sex and man to man/ f to f also love is disgusting and also i do not think homosexuality is genetic

First, it's not genetic.
that's still up in the air. i know a few gay friends that buy into this theory.

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by etcj@Apr 15 2003, 04:33 PM
Originally posted by Shuriken@Apr 15 2003, 04:22 PM
Here is an issue that I've been wondering about:

I've heard that gay Asian American men never — or hardly ever — have Asian partners, and that most have white partners. Is this true? (The few gay Asian men I know are all in interracial relationships. But I don't know them well enough to feel comfortable talking to them about this subject.) And if so, what is anyone to conclude from such a fact? Does this cast added light on the issue of heterosexual interracial relationships?

I hope that this topic isn't too sensitive. I'm not trying to stir up a hornets' nest or make anyone angry. But if true, this seems like an intriguing factoid. Why don't more gay Asian American men have Asian partners?
How about starting a new thread? You asked a pretty good question and it'll definitely generate a lot of responses... does anyone want to take the initiative?
here you go (http://forums.yellowworld.org/index.php?act=ST&f=36&t=7800&)

:)

[etcj]

Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Apr 15 2003, 04:43 PM
how about you take the initiative.&nbsp; i can count the number of out of the closet gay people on one hand on this forum.
you can't be in the closet if you've never been in it in the beginning ~hehe, so that would describe me... :D

[igcognito]

I do use the word gay, as an insult, but it is because the people a hang around with, oddly enough some of them are gay, and refer to themselves as queer. Using the word gay to MOST heterosexual males, is stripping them of their manhood. So it is a strong insult. But I don't mean it in a hateful way. I avoid saying it when I know gays, who are or maybe sensetive to the word, are around, but when I have my gay friends, who are comfortable with the word. Are around, I do use it. But we also use other words, that you are "not suppose to say". I don't consider myself homophobic, I was hit on by 2 different gay guys, once at the play RENT, and once at an anime convention. I wasn't uncomfortable at all. I politely informed them or my orientation and let it be. I try to use it, less, but it does slip. Getting rid of gay as an insult is hard, because it is not as much of a heavy push for it being taboo like, nigger, chink . . . Which is truly sad. I do slip and mess-up, and say man that is "so obscenely gay", not to say being gay is bad, but using gay as a negative word. Kind of like the word, bad in the early 90's the word bad was good. I don't know what I am trying to say here . . . -_-

[contra_diction]

why is this term used so derogatively? do you agree with this? do you say this, without meaning offense to gay ppl, not realizing it?

oops, posted in wrong place, and i don't know how to move it.

[shy]

maybe this should go in "acceptance"

[Hiroshi2]

Well sometimes "gay" in this context means "stupid" or "i don't like it" as opposed to "homosexual".

I just want people to stop telling me that "gay" can also mean "happy." No it does not. It did 40 years ago, but language changes and evolves along with society. Gay no longer means "happy" it means "homosexual".

[Chester]

Originally posted by Hiroshi2@May 28 2003, 03:24 PM
Well sometimes "gay" in this context means "stupid" or "i don't like it" as opposed to "homosexual".

That pretty much illustrates why the usage is offensive.

[sOKaLiBoY]

i use the word "gay" quite often during the day. it seems like whenever something is wack i use the word. sometimes i have to watch myself when i'm in public.

[SunWuKong]

moving...

[Faithless]

Honestly, I haven't used that term since my high school days. You realize things once you get out of HS -- like certain things you said there just don't fly, like saying, "that's gay." (The phrase was probably offensive in HS too, and I just wasn't aware of it. :frown: )

[Tao]

Originally posted by ChottoMatte@May 28 2003, 08:18 PM
Honestly, I haven't used that term since my high school days. You realize things once you get out of HS -- like certain things you said there just don't fly, like saying, "that's gay." (The phrase was probably offensive in HS too, and I just wasn't aware of it. :frown: )
haha, yeah definetly, esp at NYU

[Chris]

Most of my friends have stop using it because it really bother me because it is mostly use as a feminine quality or the weaker situations. Most of these doesn't applied to me. People have watch using that term around me because I will not tolerate that from anyone. <_<

[Everglaze]

I only say it when I'm around people I know and we're just chilling at their place or something. I don't use that word often at all and certainly not in public. I just replace that word with "wack" or "stupid" or "retarded." It's also odd when you're playing a game like GTA and suddenly the cops blow up your car while you're trying to escape and you're response to that is -- "That's gay!"...I mean, how can a scene of cops blowing up your car be gay according to its own description of homosexuality. Sometimes it doesn't make sense.

[himura-dono]

i know we hashed this one out somewhere.

[YuheiCarreau]

Originally posted by Chris@May 28 2003, 07:59 PM
Most of my friends have stop using it because it really bother me because it is mostly use as a feminine quality or the weaker situations. Most of these doesn't applied to me.&nbsp; People have watch using that term around me because I will not tolerate that from anyone.&nbsp; <_<
They might as well start saying "that's Asian", since the stereotype is the same for both...

I don't understand people who think they can say "Gay" meaning only "effeminate / weak" and not think it's homophobic. That's like the people who say "nigger" is racist, but "nigga" is nice and friendly :rolleyes:

[BeTheReds]

I use it all the time. Sometimes I get burned because of it.

I don't mean any harm to gay people. It's just that I use it in situations where I am frustrated, especially if there is some kind of rule that I don't agree with.

For instance, how in Japan in some places it is illegal to smoke cigarettes on the street, but there are no smoking/non smoking sections in some restaurants. "That's really gay", I'll say.

Sorry if it bothers anyone, but I don't think I will change.

[Faithless]

Originally posted by himura-dono@May 28 2003, 08:22 PM
i know we hashed this one out somewhere.
Somebody else is confused. :confused:

[purezero]

My friend was at Express this one day with his brother and his friend. And he saw this shirt and said that it was "SO gay." And there was a gay guy standing nearby who gave him this shocked look. My friend felt so bad about it. He's trying to quit saying things like that. I guess it's working, but when he gets angry, he uses that term a lot.

I used to use it. Based on habit I guess. I don't now.

I know other people who don't use "gay." They actually say things like "That's homosexual." Then again, they refer to themselves as "quasi-homosexual."

[pinkskyes]

does gay definitely have only one meaning?

it USED to mean happy, recently it's meant homosexual...

but a lot of people use it in reference to something that has nothing to do wi