Relationship with your Asian family [Archive]

Hiroshi2

03-22-2003, 03:08 PM

As I said in the other thread, I have little or no relationship with them. The geographical and cultural barriers are huge.

I have talked with my uncle in Japan though (because he speaks English).

Napoleon Chynamite

03-22-2003, 03:47 PM

I need to talk to my parents and brother a lot more often...much less my relatives. I've been trying to commit myself to doing it but I keep putting it off.

Edit: Shit I didn't notice, this is probably a question for hapas only, cause then I saw the other thread... :ph34r:

kimpossible

03-22-2003, 03:56 PM

*chuckles*

YuheiCarreau

03-22-2003, 04:20 PM

I don't have much contact with my cousins and uncles in Japan; I think my father isn't too close to his brothers, who were around 18 when he was born. That makes my cousins much older than me and my sisters, so we were never that close either. One of my uncles never had anything to do with us (he was a workaholic and I think he didn't like kids very much), but the other came to see us at least once each time we were in Japan. My grandparents we saw nearly every year until they died, and they got along great with us kids even though we couldn't communicate all that well.

BeTheReds

03-27-2003, 03:10 AM

I'm their American cousin. Woo woo.

thaite

03-28-2003, 12:07 PM

I go out and see them every couple of years. Keep in touch (sometimes) by e-mail. I don't know my cousins that are my age as well as I know the younger ones -- they got jobs and stuff and don't always have the time when I go out there. I'm still farang to them, though. My Thai speaking skills suck ass, so it's an obstacle, but not impossible to communicate. My grandma... she always knows what I'm saying to her. Grandmas always do.

Elizabeth A.

03-28-2003, 02:03 PM

They're all in Canada and India. I haven't seen them in years.

kimpossible

03-28-2003, 10:24 PM

Originally posted by BeTheReds@Mar 27 2003, 03:10 AM
I'm their American cousin. Woo woo.
Hahaha... I'm the American cousin too. I love visiting my mom's cousin in Tsukuba. Everyone in town always asks if I'm the foreign student they're hosting.

BeTheReds

03-31-2003, 09:06 PM

Originally posted by Hello_Hapa@Mar 29 2003, 06:24 AM
Hahaha... I'm the American cousin too. I love visiting my mom's cousin in Tsukuba. Everyone in town always asks if I'm the foreign student they're hosting.
I love it when I go to my cousin's house late at night and happen to be in the elevator with thier next door neighbor, and get out on the same floor, and say. "This is the 7th floor, I think you should get back on the elevator!" And I say, "No, I live here." And get a puzzled look as i stick the key in the door and walk in.

I also love how they consider me a foreigner, but my cousin's chinese wife is not a foreigner. Oh well.

SunWuKong

04-01-2003, 12:18 AM

Originally posted by BeTheReds@Apr 1 2003, 12:06 AM
I love it when I go to my cousin's house late at night and happen to be in the elevator with thier next door neighbor, and get out on the same floor, and say. "This is the 7th floor, I think you should get back on the elevator!" And I say, "No, I live here." And get a puzzled look as i stick the key in the door and walk in.

I also love how they consider me a foreigner, but my cousin's chinese wife is not a foreigner. Oh well.
err... maybe... could it possibly be... that it's because they've never seen you before in their lives...?

BeTheReds

04-01-2003, 01:17 AM

Originally posted by SunWuKung@Apr 1 2003, 08:18 AM

err... maybe... could it possibly be... that it's because they've never seen you before in their lives...?
Perhaps, but do you go around questioning everyone you don't know who gets out of the elevator with you at YOUR apartment?

I know, different country, different situation, but still.

SunWuKong

04-01-2003, 12:39 PM

Originally posted by BeTheReds@Apr 1 2003, 04:17 AM
Originally posted by SunWuKung@Apr 1 2003, 08:18 AM

err...  maybe...  could it possibly be...  that it's because they've never seen you before in their lives...?
Perhaps, but do you go around questioning everyone you don't know who gets out of the elevator with you at YOUR apartment?

I know, different country, different situation, but still.
yeah i suppose... but i mean, i can imagine that the neighbor might do the same thing with someone who can pass for full-blooded korean/asian, whom he has never seen in his life. or on the other spectrum, because he thought you looked like a foreigner, he might tell you that you're in the wrong building altogether, instead of just the wrong floor.

oh well. i guess it doesn't matter now. :P

BeTheReds

04-03-2003, 06:16 AM

Originally posted by SunWuKung@Apr 1 2003, 08:39 PM
Originally posted by BeTheReds@Apr 1 2003, 04:17 AM
Originally posted by SunWuKung@Apr 1 2003, 08:18 AM

err... maybe... could it possibly be... that it's because they've never seen you before in their lives...?
Perhaps, but do you go around questioning everyone you don't know who gets out of the elevator with you at YOUR apartment?

I know, different country, different situation, but still.
yeah i suppose... but i mean, i can imagine that the neighbor might do the same thing with someone who can pass for full-blooded korean/asian, whom he has never seen in his life. or on the other spectrum, because he thought you looked like a foreigner, he might tell you that you're in the wrong building altogether, instead of just the wrong floor.

oh well. i guess it doesn't matter now. :P
Yea, maybe you're right.

Maybe I overreact cuz I am so sensitive about it.

kimpossible

04-03-2003, 02:36 PM

The opposite happens to me when I go into my husband's grandparents' apartment in Taipei. I'm like the only foreigner for miles so practically everyone in the complex knows (even the ones who don't really know me personally) that I live in the Wu's apartment. Maybe I'm like an urban legend or something. The Ghost of Guang Fu Nan Lu.

:ph34r: boo!

kimpossible

04-03-2003, 02:37 PM

Originally posted by BeTheReds@Apr 3 2003, 06:16 AM

Yea, maybe you're right.

Maybe I overreact cuz I am so sensitive about it.
We love you and your intestinal issues. *group hug*

YuheiCarreau

04-03-2003, 02:42 PM

Originally posted by Hello_Hapa@Apr 3 2003, 04:37 PM
Originally posted by BeTheReds@Apr 3 2003, 06:16 AM

Yea, maybe you're right.

Maybe I overreact cuz I am so sensitive about it.
We love you and your intestinal issues. *group hug*
Wait, his intestines? :huh:

SunWuKong

04-03-2003, 02:43 PM

Originally posted by Hello_Hapa@Apr 3 2003, 05:36 PM
The opposite happens to me when I go into my husband's grandparents' apartment in Taipei. I'm like the only foreigner for miles so practically everyone in the complex knows (even the ones who don't really know me personally) that I live in the Wu's apartment. Maybe I'm like an urban legend or something. The Ghost of Guang Fu Nan Lu.

:ph34r: boo!
hahah that's funny. you're like a local commodity.

kimpossible

04-03-2003, 02:55 PM

Originally posted by YuheiCarreau@Apr 3 2003, 02:42 PM
Originally posted by Hello_Hapa@Apr 3 2003, 04:37 PM
Originally posted by BeTheReds@Apr 3 2003, 06:16 AM

Yea, maybe you're right.

Maybe I overreact cuz I am so sensitive about it.
We love you and your intestinal issues. *group hug*
Wait, his intestines? :huh:
Yeah, his poop question. It was a rousing community effort rallying around Eugene in his time of need. *checks watch* Okay, I got about an hour or two at most before he comes back to kick my ass for goofing on him.

BeTheReds

04-04-2003, 01:29 AM

Speaking of poop, I'm getting sick of the Wafu toilets already. Even though they are more sanitary and everything, I like sitting when shitting.

kuanyin

04-05-2003, 06:47 PM

um...i'm the white girl in the family. who happens to speak chinese.

since sperm donor wasn't around, all my chinese relatives got to have me live with them.

and its always been this push pull of "we like you - we don't like you"

they're on the happier portion of the cycle right now.

so i'm very cautious around them...except my grandfather. he knows who i am.

:ph34r:

SunWuKong

04-05-2003, 09:18 PM

Originally posted by kuanyin@Apr 5 2003, 09:47 PM
and its always been this push pull of "we like you - we don't like you"
do you think this is more because you're mixed or more because your father isn't around?

kuanyin

04-05-2003, 09:55 PM

both...is there a difference?? one just offsets the other.

coagulated fat

05-30-2003, 01:34 PM

My Japanese aunts place much more emphasis on doing homework and getting good grades, which is really annoying when I was mainly raised on my dad's "try your best, work hard, don't stress about letters" attitude toward education.

In general my mom's side seems more concerned with social propriety, respect for elders, stuff like that. I'm probably closer to my mom's side of the family, but my dad's side is much more chill about those kinds of things.

SunWuKong

05-30-2003, 01:42 PM

merging...

YuheiCarreau

05-30-2003, 02:45 PM

Originally posted by coagulated fat@May 30 2003, 02:34 PM
My Japanese aunts place much more emphasis on doing homework and getting good grades, which is really annoying when I was mainly raised on my dad's "try your best, work hard, don't stress about letters" attitude toward education.

In general my mom's side seems more concerned with social propriety, respect for elders, stuff like that. I'm probably closer to my mom's side of the family, but my dad's side is much more chill about those kinds of things.
My father has a lot of the same attitudes, or at least whenever he lectures me he does, but he was such a terrible student (despite being smart) that he knows he can't be too hard on me...

Emperor_Mike

05-30-2003, 02:59 PM

On the whole much better. But then again I haven't met all of my Asian family yet. Just the Chinese and Filipino branches. I think the Burmese died out somewhere along the lines because no one mentions them anymore. http://www.ataricommunity.com/forums/images/smilies/confused.gif

coagulated fat

05-30-2003, 07:01 PM

Originally posted by YuheiCarreau@May 30 2003, 01:45 PM
Originally posted by coagulated fat@May 30 2003, 02:34 PM
My Japanese aunts place much more emphasis on doing homework and getting good grades, which is really annoying when I was mainly raised on my dad's "try your best, work hard, don't stress about letters" attitude toward education.

In general my mom's side seems more concerned with social propriety, respect for elders, stuff like that.  I'm probably closer to my mom's side of the family, but my dad's side is much more chill about those kinds of things.
My father has a lot of the same attitudes, or at least whenever he lectures me he does, but he was such a terrible student (despite being smart) that he knows he can't be too hard on me...
My parents are always really vague about what kind of grades they got in school. Hmm.... :lol: