when's it time to walk?

[karizma]

>> hey ladies...ive seen this increasing trend of girls who take A LOT of crap from their bf's. they go back to them after theyve cheated, after theyve lied about significant things, after theyve verbally abused them, after they pressured them into sex, and even after theyve slapped them. now my question to you is why do you think they let this happen to them? and when do you think is the right time to walk out on a guy...in other words how much should you put up with...if any at all?

[kasia]

a friend of mine was talking about this the other day--about how asian females (as opposed to females of other ethnicities) tend to be more subservient, etc. in relationships. even as much as we'd like to dispel that stereotype, when we are in a relationship, we tend to go out of our ways to make our guy happy, and sometimes that entails taking a lot of shit.

my answer to your question would be: if any one of those above-named things happen, you should walk immediately. it's not worth it. and there are much more decent guys out there (especially in college and afterwards).

[princess]

i agree with kasia...leave as soon as it starts. dont assume that once is gonna be the last time. while in some cases it MAY be, u can make sure that it WILL be the last time if u leave.

also i think a lot of times girls just think that they cant do any better and/or they believe that theyre in love with their abuser. it takes a lot of strength to leave any relationship, especially one where the male tends to be the dominant individual.

i had to watch a lot of videos and read articles on this topic for school. the typical abuse case will start with a whirlwind romance. the guy has a few quirks such as being overprotective and controlling, but he manages to keep them in check at first. pretty soon he starts to exert more control over his companion, which may escalate to physical abuse. after he harms her in some way he'll apologize and go back to trying to romance her with flowers, teddy bears, and other gifts. this will only last for so long until there is another situation where he harms her. then its back to showering her with presents and attention. the problem gets worse as time goes on because the girl believes that theres a chance her boyfriend will continue to play the part of an awesome boyfriend and not return to abusing her while at the same time the calm periods between his abuse towards her will start to become shorter and shorter and the violence will become more frequent.

[achtungbaby]

[quote:6760cfccbd="princess"]

i had to watch a lot of videos and read articles on this topic for school. the typical abuse case will start with a whirlwind romance. the guy has a few quirks such as being overprotective and controlling, but he manages to keep them in check at first. pretty soon he starts to exert more control over his companion, which may escalate to physical abuse. after he harms her in some way he'll apologize and go back to trying to romance her with flowers, teddy bears, and other gifts. this will only last for so long until there is another situation where he harms her. then its back to showering her with presents and attention. the problem gets worse as time goes on because the girl believes that theres a chance her boyfriend will continue to play the part of an awesome boyfriend and not return to abusing her while at the same time the calm periods between his abuse towards her will start to become shorter and shorter and the violence will become more frequent.[/quote:6760cfccbd]

Holy shit...they should make that video mandatory for high school kids. There's be a lot less troubled girls *and* boys.

[princess]

a lot of schools around here work that into their curriculum.

did i impress u with my knowledge AB? :D

[karizma]

>> ok ok so we know all the apparent reasons of why we should leave our men...but what about other ones? its easy to decide to dump a guy for smacking you or cheating on you...but how do you know if you guys should split if you dont have that "magical" feeling or one of you feels like the relationship is unrewarding...things like that...whens it not worth it to keep on trying and working to make it feel right?

[princess]

oye i dunno...thats a case by case basis. but i think everyone comes to a certain point in their relationship where they need to decide whether or not its a waste of time to be with their current interest....and thats when they need to sort everything out themselves. i say if ur not feelin "the magic" or whatever...then scooch (obviously). if have doubts now or are feelin like its not rewarding...who says itll get better later? its like with friendships...if u dont get along well with a person at first or know its not wise to be friends with them then leave early on. dont push things that arent gonna work. trying to get around a million little roadblocks like that isnt worth it.

[achtungbaby]

[quote:2ad98143ec="princess"]
did i impress u with my knowledge AB? :D[/quote:2ad98143ec]

No. But your video did! :D

[princess]

[quote:cd0a34fd5f="achtungbaby"][quote:cd0a34fd5f="princess"]
did i impress u with my knowledge AB? :D[/quote:cd0a34fd5f]

No. But your video did! :D[/quote:cd0a34fd5f]

hrpmh! FINE GIVE ME NO CREDIT HERE



:D

[achtungbaby]

Okay, okay, I'm kidding, you rock!

[princess]

muhahaha yes...damn RITE

*cracks whip*

ur soul is mine.

[stephanie]

Personally I've been fortunate enough to not fall for someone who's an abusive asshole.

From past experiences though, when I'm with a guy, I rarely take crap. One of the reasons why I really liked my ex was that we had different view points on things and I disagreed with him on certain subjects which would debate about endlessly (once.. even.. over.. a.. lightbulb -_-). Whenever he would get slightly aggravated (sp?) I would just agree with him and shut up until he calm down, but he was never the type of guy to abuse me.

I guess in a relationship I'm a pretty confident person, sometimes that ticks guys off because I find their obnoxious and potentially violent personalities humorous...

[stephanie]

Personally I've been fortunate enough to not fall for someone who's an abusive asshole.

From past experiences though, when I'm with a guy, I rarely take crap. One of the reasons why I really liked my ex was that we had different view points on things and I disagreed with him on certain subjects which would debate about endlessly (once.. even.. over.. a.. lightbulb -_-). Whenever he would get slightly aggravated (sp?) I would just agree with him and shut up until he calm down, but he was never the type of guy to abuse me.

I guess in a relationship I'm a pretty confident person, sometimes that ticks guys off because I find their obnoxious and potentially violent personalities humorous...

[stephanie]

Personally I've been fortunate enough to not fall for someone who's an abusive asshole.

From past experiences though, when I'm with a guy, I rarely take crap. One of the reasons why I really liked my ex was that we had different view points on things and I disagreed with him on certain subjects which would debate about endlessly (once.. even.. over.. a.. lightbulb -_-). Whenever he would get slightly aggravated (sp?) I would just agree with him and shut up until he calm down, but he was never the type of guy to abuse me.

I guess in a relationship I'm a pretty confident person, sometimes that ticks guys off because I find their obnoxious and potentially violent personalities humorous...

[stephanie]

Personally I've been fortunate enough to not fall for someone who's an abusive asshole.

From past experiences though, when I'm with a guy, I rarely take crap. One of the reasons why I really liked my ex was that we had different view points on things and I disagreed with him on certain subjects which would debate about endlessly (once.. even.. over.. a.. lightbulb -_-). Whenever he would get slightly aggravated (sp?) I would just agree with him and shut up until he calm down, but he was never the type of guy to abuse me.

I guess in a relationship I'm a pretty confident person, sometimes that ticks guys off because I find their obnoxious and potentially violent personalities humorous...