do you ever forget that you're half?

[teaz0r]

i dunno if a thread like this one has been started,
excuse my laziness for not searching.

but i was wondering if you guys ever forget that you're half?
see i'm full asian, half thai half singaporean, but i forget that
i'm half singaporean most of the time. maybe because i've lived
in thailand most of my life and have only gone to singapore to
shop.

i also have a best friend, who's half thai half american. he totally
looks caucasian, but he's lived in thailand all his life, and he too
forgets that he's half american sometimes. he identifies himself
as being thai. despite his name being very foreign ie. "John Smith".
He says that he's so used to be around thai people, that he doesn't
really have a connection with his American heritage, since, the only
American thing in his life thus far is his estranged father.

Do any of you ever sometimes forget that you're half?

[YuheiCarreau]

To be blunt, no one's ever let me forget. But I might have done the same as you and your friend if I had been an ethnic mix and not a racial one or grown up in a fairly monoracial country like Thailand or Japan.

[AliBabaIncorporated]

forget I'm half?

it's easy: around FOBs, back in Malaysia. in HK, sometimes.
it's hard: around AAs, in Japan.

[kimpossible]

I'm not even half, so I can't really forget it. But like I said elsewhere, I'm not even sure I have a single solid identity. Though, I've noticed I quite often don't understand why some Chinese are hesitant to use Mandarin when they first meet me... as if I expected them to know that I can understand them. So I forget that most people don't know what I know.

I just default to the way I know people will treat me based on my looks: white American monolingual English need a fork person. It's more of a pain timewise because there is this discovery period that people go through. I have to fight assumptions and let them come to new conclusions before I can order something, get a product, etc. This usually takes about 15 minutes and a lot of explaining. Rarely is anyone overtly discriminitory or mean to me, I'm just not what they originally assumed and they have to work through their confusion.

[nudel]

i grew up surrounded by white people. i'm more comfortable around whites than i am with asians. i feel that white people are more accepting. to my white friends, i'm just another person in the group. when i'm with asians, they joke how i'm too white or they are more serious and say i'm some sort of sell out. bah

[yoMAMA]

I'm half Chinese and half .....Chinese ;)

That makes me 100% earthling. :P

[Napoleon Chynamite]

I'm half clueless Chinese and half very clueless Chinese.

[SunWuKong]

i do believe this thread was directed toward people who are mixed... :rolleyes:

[YuheiCarreau]

Originally posted by SunWuKung@Feb 20 2003, 03:28 PM
i do believe this thread was directed toward people who are mixed... :rolleyes:
Well, they are mixed up! :D

I've got some dead baby jokes, too.

[Hiroshi2]

Originally posted by pipSy@Feb 19 2003, 11:01 PM
i dunno if a thread like this one has been started,
excuse my laziness for not searching.

but i was wondering if you guys ever forget that you're half?

Yeah I have. That sounds weird saying it, but if I'm around a lot of black people, and no asians (or whites) then because of my looks I can blend in. Of course, I don't forget if I'm out somewhere with my mom, or if someone even mentions something about asia or japan or whatever. But most of the time, no I don't forget, but yes there have been times when I just felt like any other black person. I wasn't raised in asia, nor do I live in a city with a large asian population.

[BeTheReds]

I don't know..

I think when I was a child I sometimes forgot that I was Korean.

Now tho I don't forget.

When I am around Koreans from Korea, I forget that I am 1/2.

Around all AAs I can't forget, because they constantly remind me.
Around Whites, I can't forget, because I constantly remind myself, that I don't feel comfortable.

[tapestrybabe]

yeah definitely...
and its not that i dont forget... but sometimes i just feel more "white" or just totally feeling NOT asian at all-- like if someone automatically speaks korean to me... i dont feel asian... or if i visit an asian household.. and i see its a custom to take your shoes off when you walk in and i see... a line of shoes at the door... me, i feel not asian... or when ppl discuss things i have no clue about... like anime... i feel not asian... or when i'm in a large group of other asians-- like at the ecasu event... it made me feel like an outsider looking in... feeling not asian... cuz i guess i'm just not use to associating with THAT many asians at once... i dunno... but i definitely felt different at the event...

i feel asian tho when i listen to my own korean music by myself...

me, i fluctuate as to how i feel... depending on what type of situation i'm in...
and its not a good or bad thing... its more of just an acceptance of how my identity can be fluid...

[M3Kamikaze]

I'm half Indian and half Chinese. What is there to forget? I don't see any way of how you can truly say that you forget who you are. You can say you are more comfortable with a certain group of people, blend in better, or want to unconsciously forget who you are, but in my experience, that has never ever happened.

[AliBabaIncorporated]

Originally posted by M3Kamikaze@Feb 27 2003, 11:54 AM
I'm half Indian and half Chinese. What is there to forget? I don't see any way of how you can truly say that you forget who you are. You can say you are more comfortable with a certain group of people, blend in better, or want to unconsciously forget who you are, but in my experience, that has never ever happened.
the question isn't really about forgetting in the sense of deliberately surpressing memory of who your parents are, more like just being able to interact with people without them constantly reminding you they don't consider you "one of them" purely on the basis of how you look.

[tapestrybabe]

Originally posted by AliBabaIncorporated@Feb 27 2003, 12:44 PM
the question isn't really about forgetting in the sense of deliberately surpressing memory of who your parents are, more like just being able to interact with people without them constantly reminding you they don't consider you "one of them" purely on the basis of how you look.
yeah, right... i LOOK asian... and ppl always categorize me as an asian...
but while growing up... i never identified myself as an asian... but i always felt i had more of a 'white' mentality than anything else... with having white parents and growing up in white communities... attending white schools, white churches, etc... and when it comes to MY LOOKS... i feel sometimes i am constantly reminded that i am asian by others... purely based on my looks... when in reality... a lot of my times... i tend not to relate to that aspect at all...

[Elizabeth A.]

I don't even look Asian at all, so I do forget sometimes. To most people I'm just white, albeit a rather dark-colored white.

[tapestrybabe]

me, i look asian...
and when younger... my parents DID encourage me... to learn the korean language... but i didnt want to cuz it WASN'T me...

and in my adult years... i go thru phases..
sometimes i dont think about who i am.. but i'm just ME... and than other times.. i feel very asian/korean.... and than other times... i want little to do with it... like i dont want to be forced to have to be all into my asian-ness and whateverz...

[M3Kamikaze]

Originally posted by M3Kamikaze@Feb 27 2003, 10:54 AM
I'm half Indian and half Chinese. What is there to forget? I don't see any way of how you can truly say that you forget who you are. You can say you are more comfortable with a certain group of people, blend in better, or want to unconsciously forget who you are, but in my experience, that has never ever happened.
Originally posted by AliBabaIncorporated@Feb 27 2003, 11:44 AM
the question isn't really about forgetting in the sense of deliberately surpressing memory of who your parents are, more like just being able to interact with people without them constantly reminding you they don't consider you "one of them" purely on the basis of how you look.
The question was unclear, but it never said anything about "being able to interact with people without them constantly reminding you they don't consider you 'one of them' purely on the basis of how you look." This could have been what the original author meant to say, but then again, it could be something completely different. And yes, there are many different things the person could be referring to. I didn't say anything about "deliberately suppressing memory", but instead my words meant the deep down feeling, which you can't ever forget, even if you try to "deliberately" suppress your memory.

To answer pipSy's unclear question better than I did before, I'll agree to the fact that you can become so overwhelmed with your current surroundings that you can feel like you've forgotten what race you are; or feel more like something else than what you actually are. Hence, the feeling of "interacting" or connecting better with something else to feel as though you might have forgotten.