asian guys paying

[SunWuKong]

this is from another thread

Originally posted by iris@Jan 24 2003, 02:23 AM
Have any of you girls noticed that when you go out with an Asian guy, he insists on paying for everything but when you go out with a white guy, he'll let you go dutch? This isn't a problem for me because I always offer to pay half regardless when I'm the one asked on a date. If I do the asking, I offer to pay for it all. It's just kinda weird. Maybe the way they were raised?


i'm an asian guy, and i always insist on paying. but i am fully aware that some girls would much rather go dutch on a date, while other girls would like the guy to pay but employ the "refuse once" rule where they refuse once to let the guy pay even though they want the guy to pay. so my general rule is, if the girl refuse twice to let me pay, then she better fork over some $$$.

[Rogmok]

if its a 'date' then i'll pay... but if we're just friends going out to eat... i'l go dutch, unless its a special occassion or something...

[amietron]

I made it pretty clear to Nick that I wasn't down with him always doing the paying. It makes me feel too much like a free loader or a gold digger. That being said, guess who stole the check on our first night out. Slickstaaaaaa!

[teaz0r]

i never pay.

dude. he pays. then why the hell
will i be out with him. small talk?
i think not.

[himura-dono]

i don't let even my chick friends pay...

[amietron]

I wanna be a professional badass when I grow up.

[Green_Circle]

I think it's good that Asian guys always pay w/o exception when in female company. When we're working, that is. It's a stereotype that is positive and will only benefit us in the long run. We can see how girls are making comparisons and we come out the winners. It may set us back a little every now and then but we have to meet expectations.


:dance:

[himura-dono]

Originally posted by amietron@Jan 24 2003, 06:17 PM
I wanna be a professional badass when I grow up.
WTF? :blink:

are your cramps making you say this?

[princess]

its a typical amy-ism. gahhh dont start with the cramp questioning!

[Adaon]

Originally posted by Rogmok@Jan 24 2003, 08:17 AM
if its a 'date' then i'll pay... but if we're just friends going out to eat... i'l go dutch, unless its a special occassion or something...
I usually do the same, but if I'm in a really good mood, I'll go disappear to pay to bill too....

[himura-dono]

Originally posted by princess@Jan 24 2003, 06:45 PM
its a typical amy-ism.  gahhh dont start with the cramp questioning!
yeesh, she was up in the yw chat talkin about it >_<"

but anything for a cute girlie, now put down the hand and smile :D .

[Saiko]

I like to go dutch. I don't know. I just don't like taking too much from people.

[moschikat]

Originally posted by Adaon@Jan 24 2003, 01:53 PM
I usually do the same, but if I'm in a really good mood, I'll go disappear to pay to bill too....



huh?
good mood - does that equal under the table "schnookey-schnookey??"
*giggles*

If I get asked out - I kind of expect the guy to pay, but I'll have cash on hand (just in case) - my ex was like that . . . . :angry: - anniversary dinner and we split the check?? dude. that was just WRONG!!

but most of my friends are gentlemen, and so - i never pay.

:rolleyes:

[lethal]

I'll almost always offer to pay, if I'm good on funds. With close friends, we usually split the check. Dates are always on me unless she's insistent. At this point in our relationship my gf and I rotate paying, but I still end up paying probably 2/3 of the time.

[iris]

My Asian boyfriends have always paid and I like that and I'll let him do it. I figure he wouldn't offer if he didn't have the money. I think it's sweet and gentlemanly.

The guys that I've dated that have been White/Black/Hispanic/Hapa have been hit or miss.

If we're just friends, I'll always offer to go dutch, but I don't mind if they want to pay.

[princess]

Originally posted by Saiko@Jan 24 2003, 02:19 PM
I like to go dutch. I don't know. I just don't like taking too much from people.
dutch is definitely a good way to go. i think maybe its easier at our age though? denno

[Saiko]

It is easier, since we don't have a shizload of money. But yeah, even if it is like that, guys keep paying for me anyway. >=\ My guy friends are really sweet like that, but sometimes it makes me feel bad. But yeah, I'm starting to just let them. It's dumb to keep putting up a fight to pay for myself. Funny though.
Yeah, spoons are great.

[Hanuman]

Originally posted by himura-dono@Jan 24 2003, 01:15 PM
i don't let even my chick friends pay...
I'm the same way. I always try to pay, even with my female friends. Just the way I am.

[bigwong235]

Originally posted by amietron@Jan 24 2003, 09:52 AM
I made it pretty clear to Nick that I wasn't down with him always doing the paying. It makes me feel too much like a free loader or a gold digger. That being said, guess who stole the check on our first night out. Slickstaaaaaa!
i wasn't even paying attention! too quick for me!! :o

[BaiginLong]

Originally posted by Tawee@Jan 25 2003, 05:01 AM
I'm the same way. I always try to pay, even with my female friends. Just the way I am.
chalk up a third one on that list

[Adaon]

Originally posted by bigwong235@Jan 25 2003, 03:39 AM
i wasn't even paying attention! too quick for me!! :o
what'd u do amy? the ol' "LOOK over there!!" ploy?

[angel nympho]

Originally posted by Green_Circle@Jan 24 2003, 06:19 PM
I think it's good that Asian guys always pay w/o exception when in female company. When we're working, that is. It's a stereotype that is positive and will only benefit us in the long run. We can see how girls are making comparisons and we come out the winners. It may set us back a little every now and then but we have to meet expectations.


:dance:
Well... um, it's not a TRUE stereotype.

[amietron]

When I talked to one of my aunties about this, she said that I should let the guy pay because it doesn't hurt to be treated well sometimes. She says that letting him pay is allowing him to be gentlemanly.. Whaddya think? Let the guy pay or not?

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by amietron@Jan 25 2003, 03:06 PM
When I talked to one of my aunties about this, she said that I should let the guy pay because it doesn't hurt to be treated well sometimes. She says that letting him pay is allowing him to be gentlemanly.. Whaddya think? Let the guy pay or not?
it doesn't matter.
personally i enjoy paying for everything when i'm on a date. it makes me feel powerful like He-Man. but if she insists on contibuting, that's cool too.

[lethal]

Originally posted by amietron@Jan 25 2003, 03:06 PM
When I talked to one of my aunties about this, she said that I should let the guy pay because it doesn't hurt to be treated well sometimes. She says that letting him pay is allowing him to be gentlemanly.. Whaddya think? Let the guy pay or not?
Yeah...if a guy wants to pay on a date, let him pay. If you feel bad about him paying, use the refusal method...at least give the appearance that you're willing to split it. Refuse to let him pay at least once, maybe twice...but not more than that...and be willing to actually pay if he accepts your offer.

[himura-dono]

yesh, no more lies from teh evil females...

[amietron]

Is the guy paying for everything old school? Because my mom thinks guys should do all of the giving and that includes cards and presents and all that. She saw me putting a card in the mail, and told me not to send stuff like that. :huh:

[lethal]

Originally posted by amietron@Jan 25 2003, 05:56 PM
Is the guy paying for everything old school? Because my mom thinks guys should do all of the giving and that includes cards and presents and all that. She saw me putting a card in the mail, and told me not to send stuff like that. :huh:
She wants the guys to be the pursuers. If you do anything, then maybe you're being too forward and making yourself seem "easy" or "slutty."

Its one way of looking at it. I'm not a person who says do it this way or that way because one way is so much better than others. Everyone picks the way they want to do things and they accept the consequences of their methods.

[lethal]

Originally posted by angel nympho@Jan 25 2003, 01:03 PM
Originally posted by Green_Circle@Jan 24 2003, 06:19 PM
I think it's good that Asian guys always pay w/o exception when in female company. When we're working, that is. It's a stereotype that is positive and will only benefit us in the long run. We can see how girls are making comparisons and we come out the winners. It may set us back a little every now and then but we have to meet expectations.


&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;:dance:
Well... um, it's not a TRUE stereotype.
Maybe you've been hanging out with the wrong kind of Asian guys? Or rather, the kind that don't offer to pay. It seems, at least from this discussion that the majority of guys here are payers.

[TyroneK(prettypretty)]

I was raised around Taiwanese and Chinese people. I also went to a southern private school that aimed to mold boys into young southern gentlemen of honor and distinction. Where I'm from. if you let someone pay for dinner without huge drama, you're a social failure. It's now instinct for me in cases of special social outings, let alone dates.

By the way, can someone locate Taz and hold him down so I can shoot him?

[lethal]

Originally posted by VBKao@Jan 25 2003, 06:22 PM
I also went to a southern private school that aimed to mold boys into young southern gentlemen of honor and distinction. Where I'm from. if you let someone pay for dinner without huge drama, you're a social failure. It's now instinct for me in cases of special social outings, let alone dates.


The South shall rise again! j/k :D

I'm with VB though...growing up in the South, young men are taught to behave in a certain gentlemanly manner. Letting a woman pay without objection would defy everything we were taught.

[Adaon]

Originally posted by VBKao@Jan 25 2003, 03:22 PM
By the way, can someone locate Taz and hold him down so I can shoot him?
Try in CS if he has it....trying to get some online game action for those who want some....

Otherwise, I'd try and hold him, but he's a slippery fella. Darned seals.

I'm with VB

Looks like LT is down for seal hunting too :lol:

[amietron]

Well, now I'm confused. Am I supposed to start letting him pay for everything now, or what? Why's this have to be so difficult? When someone else pays my way (other than my parents and stuff, of course) I feel like I'm sucking them out of their money and it makes me feel kinda bad. Is it that socially acceptable for a girl to make the guy pay for everything and for her to just sit back and do nothing at all? I mean.. Iris is doing it!

[kasia]

Originally posted by amietron@Jan 25 2003, 03:56 PM
Well, now I'm confused. Am I supposed to start letting him pay for everything now, or what? Why's this have to be so difficult? When someone else pays my way (other than my parents and stuff, of course) I feel like I'm sucking them out of their money and it makes me feel kinda bad. Is it that socially acceptable for a girl to make the guy pay for everything and for her to just sit back and do nothing at all? I mean.. Iris is doing it!
i did that until i hit about 22 or so...now i've been spending the past year and a half treating the same guys - in a way to pay them back. i have no idea why.

but in the past, when i actually stole the check from guys, they would get all pissy for the rest of the night... <_<

[angel nympho]

Originally posted by lethalweapon@Jan 25 2003, 11:09 PM
Originally posted by angel nympho@Jan 25 2003, 01:03 PM
Originally posted by Green_Circle@Jan 24 2003, 06:19 PM
I think it's good that Asian guys always pay w/o exception when in female company. When we're working, that is. It's a stereotype that is positive and will only benefit us in the long run. We can see how girls are making comparisons and we come out the winners. It may set us back a little every now and then but we have to meet expectations.


:dance:
Well... um, it's not a TRUE stereotype.
Maybe you've been hanging out with the wrong kind of Asian guys? Or rather, the kind that don't offer to pay. It seems, at least from this discussion that the majority of guys here are payers.
There's a lot of freeloaders out there and believe it or not, some of them are Asian.

[Hanuman]

Originally posted by Adaon@Jan 25 2003, 06:52 PM
Try in CS if he has it....trying to get some online game action for those who want some....

Otherwise, I'd try and hold him, but he's a slippery fella. Darned seals.



Looks like LT is down for seal hunting too :lol:
He's not even a seal anymore, he's a hand again. This is not important at all, so I don't know why I mentioned it.

[Adaon]

Originally posted by Tawee@Jan 25 2003, 04:08 PM
Originally posted by Adaon@Jan 25 2003, 06:52 PM
Try in CS if he has it....trying to get some online game action for those who want some....

Otherwise, I'd try and hold him, but he's a slippery fella. Darned seals.



Looks like LT is down for seal hunting too :lol:
He's not even a seal anymore, he's a hand again. This is not important at all, so I don't know why I mentioned it.
I know.....POST WHORE!!! -grins- ;) :P :D

Back to subject tho.....I went out and played some b-ball and hung out with a couple friends today. My friend and I were practically sparring (playfully as much as possible beofre ppl think it's a fite) over the check that had the orders of both of us and the third friend who just sat back and laffed at us (one guess which gender said friend was ;))....oye man.....

[Adaon]

Originally posted by tazadar@Jan 25 2003, 04:24 PM
Adaon,

I totally pay the bill if you go out with me. :luv:
you sexay beast, how can I resist? I was finally wait for you to notice me instead of my sister.....-flutters his eyelashes-












Take another step closer and I guarantee you'll be missing a body part :ph34r: <img src='http://www.gamers-forums.com/smilies/contrib/legionxs/ninja1.gif[/img]

[Hanuman]

Originally posted by Adaon@Jan 25 2003, 07:57 PM
Originally posted by tazadar@Jan 25 2003, 04:24 PM
Adaon,

I totally pay the bill if you go out with me. &nbsp;:luv:
you sexay beast, how can I resist? I was finally wait for you to notice me instead of my sister.....-flutters his eyelashes-












Take another step closer and I guarantee you'll be missing a body part :ph34r: <img src='http://www.gamers-forums.com/smilies/contrib/legionxs/ninja1.gif[/img]
I see the beginnings of a Beauuuutiful friendship!

[Adaon]

Originally posted by Tawee@Jan 25 2003, 05:02 PM
Originally posted by Adaon@Jan 25 2003, 07:57 PM
Originally posted by tazadar@Jan 25 2003, 04:24 PM
Adaon,

I totally pay the bill if you go out with me. :luv:
you sexay beast, how can I resist? I was finally wait for you to notice me instead of my sister.....-flutters his eyelashes-












Take another step closer and I guarantee you'll be missing a body part :ph34r: <img src='http://www.gamers-forums.com/smilies/contrib/legionxs/ninja1.gif[/img]
I see the beginnings of a Beauuuutiful friendship!
I swear, the Highway Patrol just aren't doing their jobs nowadays.....this baby's not even in his seat....


-SOO off topic....some mod, please save us-

[kasia]

please stay within the topic of each respective thread. :D

see here (http://forums.yellowworld.org/index.php?act=ST&f=33&t=149&s=) for more details.

we all want you guys to be part of the Family too, but let's do it the fair and honest way :luv:

[achtungbaby]

Originally posted by SunWuKung@Jan 24 2003, 07:48 AM
so my general rule is, if the girl refuse twice to let me pay, then she better fork over some $$$.


The alternative being lots of dishes to wash :lol:

Fellas, always pay for the girl. If you have to, tell them they can get it next time (but don't let them, of course). It may be silly, but it's one of those silly bullshit-societal arrangements both men and women should become more comfortable with. Being stingy sucks.

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by achtungbaby@Jan 25 2003, 08:59 PM
If you have to, tell them they can get it next time (but don't let them, of course).
oh yeah, that always works too. i pull that all the time. and of course, they always conveniently forget that i said they could pay next time. but it's all good, i like paying. it makes me feel powerful like He-Man.

just don't overdo it like this one girl i was with. she literally crossed her arms and looked the other way when the check came. that was the last time i ever saw her. i mean i wanted to pay, but she didn't have to act like it was my mission in life.

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by amietron@Jan 25 2003, 06:56 PM
Well, now I'm confused. Am I supposed to start letting him pay for everything now, or what? Why's this have to be so difficult? When someone else pays my way (other than my parents and stuff, of course) I feel like I'm sucking them out of their money and it makes me feel kinda bad. Is it that socially acceptable for a girl to make the guy pay for everything and for her to just sit back and do nothing at all? I mean.. Iris is doing it!
amy, just do what feels right for you. if you feel like you're sucking them out of their money, then insist on paying. and make sure they understand that you feel better about paying so they don't put up all this dramatics in the restaurant fighting for the bill.

and actually iris did say that she would let the guy pay. i think she is just employing the "offer once" rule that many women employ.

strong upbringing aside, i think it empowers a guy to be paying for everything. i'll let a girl split the bill if she sincerely insists, but i know i'm guilty of feeling better for paying for everything on a date. but you shouldn't have to cater to making him feel good about himself. if he doesn't feel comfortable that you are on an equal footing with him as far as paying goes, then he's weaksauce and you can kick him to the curb and find a more confident man.

[thaite]

Originally posted by amietron@Jan 25 2003, 03:56 PM
Is the guy paying for everything old school? Because my mom thinks guys should do all of the giving and that includes cards and presents and all that. She saw me putting a card in the mail, and told me not to send stuff like that. :huh:
Let the guy pay for you. Employ the offer once, twice rule, it's all okay to let him pay.

But dammit, cards and shit like that are nice. It's good to let they guy know that you appreciate what he's doing for you -- otherwise he just feels like a mealticket. I know this.

As was said earlier, don't make him feel like his purpose there is to just pay your way.

[karizma]

i think asian guys are a lot more willing to flaunt their money if theyve got it...

i was at a coffeeshop with 2 of my girls last night and a guy we'd just met 5 mins ago [ he invited himself to sit with us ] paid for our drinks and offered to treat us all out to a movie...UMMM...

took studio pictures today as well and the photographer paid for an extra pose and whatnot for me after his boss said no...

its GREAT being a girl dammit.

but its not like their isnt such thing as a stingy asian guy. not to say i mind paying...but yea..whatever :D

[lethal]

Originally posted by angel nympho@Jan 25 2003, 07:02 PM
Originally posted by lethalweapon@Jan 25 2003, 11:09 PM
Originally posted by angel nympho@Jan 25 2003, 01:03 PM
Originally posted by Green_Circle@Jan 24 2003, 06:19 PM
I think it's good that Asian guys always pay w/o exception when in female company. When we're working, that is. It's a stereotype that is positive and will only benefit us in the long run. We can see how girls are making comparisons and we come out the winners. It may set us back a little every now and then but we have to meet expectations.


:dance:
Well... um, it's not a TRUE stereotype.
Maybe you've been hanging out with the wrong kind of Asian guys? Or rather, the kind that don't offer to pay. It seems, at least from this discussion that the majority of guys here are payers.
There's a lot of freeloaders out there and believe it or not, some of them are Asian.
Hey, I never said anything about "ALL" Asian guys. I just implied that you were hanging out with the minority of Asian guys, based on the results of informal survey of guys posting in this thread and my personal experiences.

You're basing your implication of it not being a "TRUE" stereotype on your personal experiences, which I argue is not a true representation of Asian guys in general.

Trust me, I know there are some freeloaders out there and that some of them are Asian. I just don't see how that is inconsistent with what I said, that most Asian men do pay for the check on a date or that you've just been hanging out with the kind that don't.

[iris]

I like having the guy pay. It's old chivalry rules of dating. But I really don't care if we go dutch or if I pay either. Honestly, the money is only a big deal if you make it out to be. With my Asian bfs, a lot of time, they'll pay, but I'll surprise them once in a while with a nice sweater, or a night on the town on me. :dance:

[Adaon]

Originally posted by iris@Jan 26 2003, 12:38 AM
I like having the guy pay. It's old chivalry rules of dating. But I really don't care if we go dutch or if I pay either. Honestly, the money is only a big deal if you make it out to be. With my Asian bfs, a lot of time, they'll pay, but I'll surprise them once in a while with a nice sweater, or a night on the town on me. :dance:
dang, I've yet too meet a female in California like this.....-sighs- The search continues!! (does a double take) Damn, I'm hanging aroudn Rob too much....starting to sound like him....

[Fireblade]

Oh what the hell. I DON'T PAY for the girl. Shit, I'm lucky if I can pay for myself. LOL.

Seriously though, I've paid sometimes, but at times if I don't have enough, I either go to a cheaper restuarant, or ask the girl if she wants to pay. Like go and say something along the lines of "hey, I don't have much money on me today, ya wanna treat me?" and then smile. If she says no, go to the cheaper restuarant. If she wants to pay, cool. Seriously though, I've shelled out too much money for the opposite sex in my time. Nowadays, I just usually ask who is treating for the day. All I ask is for equality, just like what anyone wants.

:D

or maybe I'm just damn cheap.

[achtungbaby]

Originally posted by SunWuKung@Jan 25 2003, 08:33 PM
she literally crossed her arms and looked the other way when the check came.
Or they visit the powder room whenever the check comes.

[angel nympho]

Originally posted by achtungbaby@Jan 27 2003, 02:08 AM
Or they visit the powder room whenever the check comes.
Damn, girls are bitches. I always at least offer to buy a meal. Isn't it just... normal standards of being polite?

[BaiginLong]

ehh Dutch ppl be weird :P :rolleyes:

[bigwong235]

Originally posted by achtungbaby@Jan 25 2003, 05:59 PM
Originally posted by SunWuKung@Jan 24 2003, 07:48 AM
so my general rule is, if the girl refuse twice to let me pay, then she better fork over some $$$.


The alternative being lots of dishes to wash :lol:

Fellas, always pay for the girl. If you have to, tell them they can get it next time (but don't let them, of course). It may be silly, but it's one of those silly bullshit-societal arrangements both men and women should become more comfortable with. Being stingy sucks.
what if she straight up gets physical with you? like shoving you out of the way as you're about to pay, or stealing the check out of the waiter's hand and crumpling it up? :ph34r:

[iris]

are you saying Amy does this? Not our sweet sweet YW bear tamer! Liar!

[kasia]

Originally posted by bigwong235@Jan 26 2003, 11:24 PM
Originally posted by achtungbaby@Jan 25 2003, 05:59 PM
Originally posted by SunWuKung@Jan 24 2003, 07:48 AM
so my general rule is, if the girl refuse twice to let me pay, then she better fork over some $$$.


The alternative being lots of dishes to wash :lol:

Fellas, always pay for the girl. If you have to, tell them they can get it next time (but don't let them, of course). It may be silly, but it's one of those silly bullshit-societal arrangements both men and women should become more comfortable with. Being stingy sucks.
what if she straight up gets physical with you? like shoving you out of the way as you're about to pay, or stealing the check out of the waiter's hand and crumpling it up? :ph34r:
then i'd say she's a keeper. :luv: how often do you come across girls like that? :)

[bigwong235]

Originally posted by iris@Jan 26 2003, 11:27 PM
are you saying Amy does this? Not our sweet sweet YW bear tamer! Liar!
you think you know, but you have no idea...

this is the diary o-

oh wait a sec, this isn't mtv.



bear tamer eh? i don't think she tames them, just scares them into submission. :D

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by achtungbaby@Jan 26 2003, 09:08 PM
Or they visit the powder room whenever the check comes.
see i don't mind that at all. just the expression on that particular girl's face... it's got gold digger all over it...

[Azn Retribution]

I always pay.. even if they are just friends.
just a habit I guess

[KiTTY2babe]

If they're the ones who asked me out, I never pay. Although sometimes, boiz feel a bit "gay" if we asked them out to chill and they don't pay up.

[blue hoodie]

The only problem I have is when the girl doesn't even try to pretend that she wants to pay and expects it from me with not even a thank you. Thats usually a red flag for me. otherwise, I have no problems with paying and will usually insist.