feeding the need

[himura-dono]

i wake up, 12 in the noon
empty bottle in hand,
throat gone scratchy an' hoarse.

open the door and hide my eyes;
lights burnin through my lids,
leavin me blind.

throw on my shades and walkabout.
find myself in front of my displaced home
steppin in as i open the door.

all my friend are here,
jack, skye, and jim.
even ol' seagram is chillin' in the corner.

into my pockets i reach
pullin out a pair of green an' white
grizzlly jacksons.

walk over to my girl india
and walk her over to the counter,
my hand wrapped around her curvy hip.

take her back to my place
slidin' back into our old ways;
me openin' her up and us both gone empty.

i lie on the floor
next to her quiverin' body;
my throat moist with her juices...

sleep returns.

[himura-dono]

jeebus people just say it's crap, that's why it's posted :lol:

[contra_diction]

nah dood, it's good. i think most people on yw just enjoy discussions and things better than critiquing or analyzing poems and such.
i especially like that piece with india towards the end there "slidin' back into our old ways... on the floor/ next to her quivering body... moist with her juices". haha, great wc, i've never heard it described like that before.
i only hope this poem is sort of a form of closure to your habit. best wishes, pal.

[contra_diction]

bitter liquor shots to make a [censor] hiccup lots/ lick the salt and grip the malt/ head's diminished when your finished/ earning respect (?) burning the chest/ after your throat ...Don't Throw Up!... or hear the laughter and jokes/
so much drinking followed by some fucked-up singing but too much leavin' a man gap-toothed and broke//

pleez tha wemmen *gulp* skweez da lemin :cry: / cottamm thik feelin's stoppd ur sic/ wekeli smylin haha feebully tryan/ jes stant an wok 2 badd ta tok/ swaggrr & swei ...Whey's Tha Kan?... peepl bac owtta yor way/
alkohall's straynj oder mebe nex tyme stae so-brr u tink wen yu feeel da heingover tha fowolling daye//

iNtOxiKaTiOn :wacko: