carrying on the family name

[kasia]

is that important to you? why?

hypothetical:

you have 2 brothers
your wife is an only child
you have a son together
she asks to have son take her family name
what would your response be?

[Craig]

It's not important to me. I'll let the kids have my wife's name.

[VV o n g B a]

ahh, but an even dicier question: would u take your wife's name? :ph34r:

[Hanuman]

Originally posted by kasia@Jan 13 2003, 04:14 PM
is that important to you?  why?

hypothetical:

you have 2 brothers
your wife is an only child
you have a son together
she asks to have son take her family name
what would your response be?
Family name is very important to me. I'm the last male that will potential have a child to carry on the family name, so in repsonse to this hypothetical, I'd have to say, we'd have to have another child (hey, at least it's fun making babies :lol: )

[nudel]

i don't care. i'd take my wifes name. my cousin could carry on the name. my family name has changed spellings just about every generation since the 1600 hundreds here in the us.

[deez nuts]

Not planning on having kids here, talk to my brother. I think he's planning on having them.

Given Kasia's scenerio...and if it means that much to my wife and my parents are ok with it. Sure why not, I could care less either way. I never wanted the damn kid anyways (ooops..sorry :ph34r: )

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by Tawee@Jan 13 2003, 05:37 PM
Originally posted by kasia@Jan 13 2003, 04:14 PM
is that important to you? why?

hypothetical:

you have 2 brothers
your wife is an only child
you have a son together
she asks to have son take her family name
what would your response be?
Family name is very important to me. I'm the last male that will potential have a child to carry on the family name, so in repsonse to this hypothetical, I'd have to say, we'd have to have another child (hey, at least it's fun making babies :lol: )
wow good answer!

[Chris]

God there is so many Chins there no need to carry on that name.

[MellowDrama]

Not gonna do it. I'm a selfish motherfucker like that. She can keep her name all she wants, but the son's name will be mine. If my brothers in that situation already had boys then maybe.

In my family, the male name carrying pool has dwindled by generation from 6 in my dad's generation to 3 in my generation. I know that's counterintuitive, but what can I say - all the boys had daughters. I don't want my family name to die out, so I'm "keeping" every male I get.

[Dean]

Couldn't we compromise on the last name like say add a hypen with her's and my last name? Is that legal?

[Fireblade]

Quite frankly I don't care, as long as they carry the CHINESE last name. Weird huh? My english last name means shit to me, because it was a lofty attempt from some guy working with the government to westernize it. The last name is Louie btw. Quite frankly, I wouldn't care if she wanted to keep the english last name. But as for the chinese one, no-way. My family has tried it's best to preserve the family name, and we even have records of our who married who, etc, etc. It's a sort of family pride thing, because we've kept in contact with so many of us.

But who knows... maybe I won't care anymore when I'm older and ready to have a kid. But yea, family and cultural pride means a lot to me.

[wylin]

Originally posted by MellowDrama@Jan 13 2003, 07:32 PM
Not gonna do it. I'm a selfish motherfucker like that. She can keep her name all she wants, but the son's name will be mine. If my brothers in that situation already had boys then maybe.

In my family, the male name carrying pool has dwindled by generation from 6 in my dad's generation to 3 in my generation. I know that's counterintuitive, but what can I say - all the boys had daughters. I don't want my family name to die out, so I'm "keeping" every male I get.
http://i.xanga.com/wylin/dont-breed.jpg

do us a favor !

[artsfartsyjanet]

maybe this should be a separate thread, but what would be the complication of passing the wife's family name on? What would would be the complication of the wife keeping her family name instead of her husband's? my guess is that a lot of people would call you as either mr. and mrs. (fill in husband's last name) as an assumption. what else would be complications?

[kasia]

yeh, but there were also many complications when women entered the working field...or when women started to vote...

[Napoleon Chynamite]

I could care less about my last name and whether it's passed on (no disrespect to my father whatsoever)....Names don't mean much to me.... :unsure:

[AliBabaIncorporated]

I'm the last guy around to carry on my father's family name (my male cousins seem to have a tendency to OD on drugs), and I don't even particularly want it. I wouldn't have much problem with my kids having my wife's surname in English (though my dad probably would) and on legal documents, as long as their Chinese name reflects my last name.

Actually I think if I had a choice between my kids having a hyphenated surname, or just my wife's surname, I'd go with just the wife's surname, cuz I think hyphenated surnames sound really fruity.

[iris]

I love my last name and it flows well with my first, but we've got a boy in tha family and I want to move way higher on the alphabet. I'm going to shoot for "Chen" or a derivative of it. Anything after M on the alphabet is not going to happen. :lol:

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by iris@Jan 14 2003, 08:52 PM
I love my last name and it flows well with my first, but we've got a boy in tha family and I want to move way higher on the alphabet. I'm going to shoot for "Chen" or a derivative of it. Anything after M on the alphabet is not going to happen. :lol:
:cry:

[AliBabaIncorporated]

Originally posted by iris@Jan 14 2003, 08:52 PM
I love my last name and it flows well with my first, but we've got a boy in tha family and I want to move way higher on the alphabet. I'm going to shoot for "Chen" or a derivative of it. Anything after M on the alphabet is not going to happen. :lol:
I've heard of gold-digging, but alphabet digging? hah ... I bet you're gonna marry a Chinese guy surnamed Chang. Then one day he'll decide to start spelling his name in pinyin ... and you'll be all the way down at "Zhang." :P

[iris]

Lien, don't be a playa hater. Just be happy you make the cut-off.

[Craig]

Originally posted by iris@Jan 14 2003, 08:19 PM
Lien, don't be a playa hater. Just be happy you make the cut-off.
However, if the children don't grow up in the USA, but someplace like China or Japan, is "A-Z" really going to matter ?

[deez nuts]

Why not just go Korean and go for Ahn!

In fact I know a Ahn and he's single.....works at G.S.

There ya go all u ever wanted:
1)Works at an investment firm
2)MBA
3)You're basically on the upper echelon of the alphabet

[MellowDrama]

Originally posted by wylin@Jan 14 2003, 12:34 PM
Originally posted by MellowDrama@Jan 13 2003, 07:32 PM
Not gonna do it. I'm a selfish motherfucker like that. She can keep her name all she wants, but the son's name will be mine. If my brothers in that situation already had boys then maybe. 

In my family, the male name carrying pool has dwindled by generation from 6 in my dad's generation to 3 in my generation. I know that's counterintuitive, but what can I say - all the boys had daughters. I don't want my family name to die out, so I'm "keeping" every male I get.
http://i.xanga.com/wylin/dont-breed.jpg

do us a favor !

I'm engaged. It may be only a matter of time.

[iris]

Originally posted by Craig@Jan 15 2003, 10:22 AM
However, if the children don't grow up in the USA, but someplace like China or Japan, is "A-Z" really going to matter ?
Who says they'll be growing up there? I love Taiwan and Hong Kong, but they're going to be raised in the good ol' USA baby.

Reason why I want to move up the alphabet, now don't cry cuz it's a sad story and you don't want to be seen as a nancy boy:

In elementary school, we always lined up by alphabetical order and it was never reversed. This was fine except for lunch. By the time I got up to the lunch counter, they'd run out of food. No delicious mystery meat for this unlucky girl. This went on for weeks until my mother threw a fit because I'd never have any food. I blame Kelsey Norman Elementary and Lunch Lady Doris for my height. I coulda been a contender.

[deez nuts]

Originally posted by iris@Jan 14 2003, 09:42 PM
In elementary school, we always lined up by alphabetical order and it was never reversed. This was fine except for lunch. By the time I got up to the lunch counter, they'd run out of food. No delicious mystery meat for this unlucky girl. This went on for weeks until my mother threw a fit because I'd never have any food. I blame Kelsey Norman Elementary and Lunch Lady Doris for my height. I coulda been a contender.
Let it go and deal with it!

[Craig]

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_386941.html

'Surname is key to success'

A reports claims people with surnames beginning with a letter in the first half of the alphabet are more likely to be successful.

The problem has been traced back to childhood, when school lists and classroom seating arrangements are often determined alphabetically.

The report claims people who continuously see their names at the bottom of a list can suffer from low self-esteem.

The world's five richest people - Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, Paul Allen, Larry Ellison and Karl Allbrecht - are have surnames near the top of the alphabet.

Of the British Prime Ministers elected in the 20th century, only Margaret Thatcher and Harold Wilson don't have surnames starting A to M.

All the Spice Girls, three of the four Beatles, and six of the seven G7 heads of government all follow the rule.

The trend is explained in this week's edition of The Economist.

Economics editor Pam Woodhall says pupils with surnames at the end of alphabet aren't questioned as much by teachers because they're sat near the back of the class.

She said: "The humiliation continues ... at university graduations, shortlists for job interviews, election ballot papers, lists of conference speakers: all tend to be drawn up alphabetically."

The paper quotes psychologist Richard Wiseman saying a high alphabet listing boosts people's confidence.

Story filed: 08:38 Friday 31st August 2001

[SunWuKong]

how do you explain ronald reagon and margaret thatcher?

[iris]

Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Jan 15 2003, 10:53 AM
Let it go and deal with it!
*runs up the stairs singing the theme to Rocky*

Don't bring me down, man.


I knew it! Thanks for the proof Craig.

[deez nuts]

Originally posted by iris@Jan 14 2003, 10:13 PM
*runs up the stairs singing the theme to Rocky*

Don't bring me down, man.


I knew it! Thanks for the proof Craig.
I can introduce you to Mr. Ahn if you wish. Come on Ahn is as close as you can get!

He speaks fluent Mandarin btw. ;]

[Craig]

Originally posted by SunWuKung@Jan 14 2003, 09:10 PM
how do you explain ronald reagon and margaret thatcher?
I was just posting the article to incite discussion. It's not the most exhaustive, but just what popped up the quickest. I have seen several articles from time to time to bring up the discussion. However, being that my last name has been in the middle it typically hasn't been too much of an issue.

The time of greatest significance being was undergraduate university registration where we were ordered by name in clusters. Unfortunately, I was there for only 2.5 years, where my name was always near the end of their skewed shifting system when registering. So the 3 semesters where I registered as a senior my name was in the last 3 clusters. So, I for instance could never get the classes I wanted or in many cases needed. Thus I could probably make a case that I had a harder time, got lower grades, got delayed in graduation, etc. However, I don't feel that it's really an issue for me. However, I am willing to listen to the case of somebody with the last name "Y" to hear their side.

Edit: Btw, below is a better article, that does point out people like "Yeltsin".

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/1518671.stm

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by Craig@Jan 14 2003, 10:19 PM
I was just posting the article to incite discussion. It's not the most exhaustive, but just what popped up the quickest. I have seen several articles from time to time to bring up the discussion. However, being that my last name has been in the middle it typically hasn't been too much of an issue.

The time of greatest significance being was undergraduate university registration where we were ordered by name in clusters. Unfortunately, I was there for only 2.5 years, where my name was always near the end of their skewed shifting system when registering. So the 3 semesters where I registered as a senior my name was in the last 3 clusters. So, I for instance could never get the classes I wanted or in many cases needed. Thus I could probably make a case that I had a harder time, got lower grades, got delayed in graduation, etc. However, I don't feel that it's really an issue for me. However, I am willing to listen to the case of somebody with the last name "Y" to hear their side.

Edit: Btw, below is a better article, that does point out people like "Yeltsin".

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/1518671.stm
oh hehheh
registration at CMU was electronic and first come first serve
yes there were suddently a lot of people at the computer clusters at 6 in the morning clicking their mice at lightning speed. heheheh it was kind of crazy.

[Craig]

Originally posted by SunWuKung@Jan 14 2003, 09:26 PM
oh hehheh
registration at CMU was electronic and first come first serve
yes there were suddently a lot of people at the computer clusters at 6 in the morning clicking their mice at lightning speed. heheheh it was kind of crazy.
Well for the most part I got the classes I wanted. For Drop/Adds period, I had written an intelligent agent to monitor the online registration system and notify me by email on certain specific changes in enrollment. Unfortunately, some things I couldn't deal with like, I had to wait over a year to get Operating Systems because it was a required course which they overenrolled graduating seniors. I had even gone to the advising before with a note from one of the professors to enroll me, but the stupid grunts wouldn't put me in.

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by Craig@Jan 14 2003, 10:36 PM
Originally posted by SunWuKung@Jan 14 2003, 09:26 PM
oh hehheh
registration at CMU was electronic and first come first serve
yes there were suddently a lot of people at the computer clusters at 6 in the morning clicking their mice at lightning speed.  heheheh it was kind of crazy.
Well for the most part I got the classes I wanted. For Drop/Adds period, I had written an intelligent agent to monitor the online registration system and notify me by email on certain specific changes in enrollment. Unfortunately, some things I couldn't deal with like, I had to wait over a year to get Operating Systems because it was a required course which they overenrolled graduating seniors. I had even gone to the advising before with a note from one of the professors to enroll me, but the stupid grunts wouldn't put me in.
hehheh, that's why i didn't switch to being a CS major (i was technically a CE major, but i took mostly software classes), i didn't want to take OS. all i ever heard were nightmarish tales about that class. and credit-wise it counted as 1.5 classes, too.

[lethal]

Originally posted by iris@Jan 14 2003, 08:52 PM
I love my last name and it flows well with my first, but we've got a boy in tha family and I want to move way higher on the alphabet. I'm going to shoot for "Chen" or a derivative of it. Anything after M on the alphabet is not going to happen. :lol:
Wow, my girlfriend said that exact same thing. No kidding. Well besides the Chen part.

She talks about "name demotions" and never wanting to take one. She's an H right now.

[Craig]

Originally posted by SunWuKung@Jan 14 2003, 09:47 PM
hehheh, that's why i didn't switch to being a CS major (i was technically a CE major, but i took mostly software classes), i didn't want to take OS. all i ever heard were nightmarish tales about that class. and credit-wise it counted as 1.5 classes, too.
I think for the most part, the class was easy at my undergradute school since it was the final required CS class. People already suffered enough in recent memory with classes like Computer Architecture and Automata Theory.

Pretty much everything was 3 semester hours there regardless of the real amount of work required. So we had classes where the teacher would warn us do not take this class with another heavy programming class, etc.. I think I heard something about the ECE department splitting up a class called something like "Microprocessor Programming" into two classes though.

Technically, I got a BSCS degree with an EE sequence, but I mostly leave off the later part nowadays.

[iris]

I was lucky and my college did it by random numbers but being a person with the last name "Y," it would seriously piss me off to not get a class i wanted due to exception by birth.

CSB - Mandarin huh? Can he read or write it? You got yourself a deal.

[lethal]

Originally posted by iris@Jan 14 2003, 11:28 PM
I was lucky and my college did it by random numbers but being a person with the last name "Y," it would seriously piss me off to not get a class i wanted due to exception by birth.
MY school did registration by the number of credits you'd earned so far, a "senority system" if you will except for the first semester.

They had all incoming students register in blocks, distributed by the last number of the SS#. Mine is 9, so I registered last of everyone at the school and entering the school. I had the worst schedule that semester. :pissed:

Back on topic, my last name is among the 5 most popular Viet names around. The important thing would be carrying on the middle name AND the last name. Otherwise, there's no way to distinguish one line from another.

I really don't know how I would feel if the wife wanted the kids to have her name.

[blue__blood]

Sticking with the topic...

is that important to you? why?

hypothetical:

you have 2 brothers
your wife is an only child
you have a son together
she asks to have son take her family name
what would your response be?

In that hypothetical situation, I'm only willing to go for a double surname. I have a short lastname and most Chinese lastnames tend to be short so it won't be something the length of the alphabet. Although I have two brothers, there's no gurantee their child will be a family-name carrying son.

In my real-life situation though, I'm the only grandson carrying the family name, so my first son will definitely carry on the family name.

[SunWuKong]

i think the better question to ask is:

you have a brother that has a son.
would you let your son take your wife's surname?

[applehead]

who cares?
it's only a name.
hypenate it.
yeah. that's it.

[BaiginLong]

well dropping the hypothetics
I have 3 older half-brothers (ages 37, 38, 39) and I don't think any are married thanks to being raised by dad and sharing all of his wonderful personality traits...
and 2 older half-sisters (not giving out ages so you boys stay back unless you can impress me) they are currently living with their mother in Los Angeles I think (hmm may need to do some research into what the current situation is)
they're both over 20 and less than 30 i'll say that much
in addition to my 14 yr. old little sister

My father had 7 brothers all of which have a healthy number of sons and grandsons
all of which are dead now also I might add except for the one that was younger than him

for me the family name is not that important bacause it doesn't seem like they'll be a shortage of Mr. and Ms. "Shih"s for a long while
however I repect my mother a lot more than I do my father and it'll be sad to see that she will have no one carry her last name down because she only had 2 sisters and I have yet to see any of her relatives besides them have teh same last name

I guess I break convention a little more than the rest of you ppl and have my first son named with my mother's last name
I'll consider letting my wife have the second one if it comes around to that heh
it all depends

[contra_diction]

nah, the wifey can have the family name, as long as i get to give the middle name, and we'll both agree on the first name. i'm pretty creative naming things, but sometimes too much so, i figure if i give the middle name it'll be gravy. besides, i'm not worried about my family name, just my stage name. Get out there!

[kayla]

I've actually thought about this since I was 13 or 14. My first son is going to have my husbands last name and my second son is going to have my last name since i only have sisters and i'm the eldest. i feel obligated to have my kid carry on my last name since my grandpa from my dad's side seems to hold some grudge against my mom for not being able to bear sons.

and iris, the whole Chen lunch thing seems very strange. at least it seems strange in print. i'm a "Ching" so i guess i never had your lunch problem. :P But it can also be a disadvantage to having a last name in the beginning of the alphabets. like roll call. ugh. they always start with the A's so if i were to be a littel bit late, i was late. but if i walked in with a "Yu", that person would be perfectly punctual. that just sucked. that happened a few times when i had to line up in the quad area for roll call in elementary. but other than that, I like Ching. Ching is good. Everyone thinks theres a ring to it. hahaha. can't have the bling-bling without the Ching-Ching.

[applehead]

Originally posted by kayla@Jan 16 2003, 03:59 AM
I've actually thought about this since I was 13 or 14. My first son is going to have my husbands last name and my second son is going to have my last name since i only have sisters and i'm the eldest. i feel obligated to have my kid carry on my last name since my grandpa from my dad's side seems to hold some grudge against my mom for not being able to bear sons.

and iris, the whole Chen lunch thing seems very strange. at least it seems strange in print. i'm a "Ching" so i guess i never had your lunch problem. :P But it can also be a disadvantage to having a last name in the beginning of the alphabets. like roll call. ugh. they always start with the A's so if i were to be a littel bit late, i was late. but if i walked in with a "Yu", that person would be perfectly punctual. that just sucked. that happened a few times when i had to line up in the quad area for roll call in elementary. but other than that, I like Ching. Ching is good. Everyone thinks theres a ring to it. hahaha. can't have the bling-bling without the Ching-Ching.
hey what if you only have one son.
or no son at all?

[deez nuts]

Originally posted by kayla@Jan 16 2003, 06:59 AM
can't have the bling-bling without the Ching-Ching.
Or no honk-honk with no badonka donk donk.

[SunWuKong]

honestly i don't care if my future wife takes my last name or not. i've explained before that in chinese society, the wife doesn't change her name, but would gain a title as, say, Tan Tai Tai, if she was to marry someone with the surname of Tan. and even if she doesn't like having that title, i wouldn't care. but as the only male under my paternal grandfather's line, i think i would like my children to have my surname.

[Craig]

Isn't it acceptable in Japanese society for the guy to change his last name instead of the girl ? So, when is Nick going to change his name ?

[nonamerasian]

Part of me would like my hypothetical children to carry one or two names from my family. I carry neither, but going by tradition, I probably should have carried one or the other.

One name is dying or died (not quite sure). The other is said to have been created by my grandfather. Every person we know carrying the name today has been tied to my grandpappy’s loins. I even bumped into people on the Internet who I found out were related to me because they mentioned the name.

Pretty cool.

The first would doom my children to having their name mispronounced and misspelled. Their name may be the one printed in a different font than everyone else’s on lists because of its length. Perhaps they’d be left near the end of the line in school, so they may end up blaming their stature on a lunch lady named Doris. :P

The name sounds good, though. I wish it were my surname because it goes well with my first.

The latter sounds less pleasing, but has more meaning.

I’d probably end up giving them their papi’s name, though, just because tradition dictates to do so.

[DragonKnight]

is that important to you? why?

hypothetical:

you have 2 brothers
your wife is an only child
you have a son together
she asks to have son take her family name
what would your response be?

Hehe, revival of an old thread (not my fault tho, *grin*).

To answer the original question, I would be glad to have our son take her family name...if I had two brothers.

In reality, I'm the only son in the family. If it boils down to it, I would consult my parents and my relatives from my dad's side. Perhaps come to a compromise or something. Mostly cause my last name isn't too common in our area.

[Mo'Taka]

ahh, but an even dicier question: would u take your wife's name? :ph34r:

If her last name sounds cool I don't see why not. I'd love to be Tom POWERS or Tom DANGER! But I guess it depends on the name and the reason.

[BeTheReds]

is that important to you? why?

hypothetical:

you have 2 brothers
your wife is an only child
you have a son together
she asks to have son take her family name
what would your response be?
No.

[fresh22]

*scratches head* the whole inheritance of the family name seems too much of a pragmatic concept to me. Names sometimes do carry negative connotations like discrimination but a name is just a name to me.

I'll just let my brother and his wife deal with it :tongue:

[missmeow]

I plan on keeping my name. It's amazing how many men have a problem with that.
If I ever have kids, I really don't care.

[BaiginLong]

I can't help thinking of Joey from friends... for this thread hahahahah
man he be dumb

[BaiginLong]

and to deal with the topic

is that important to you? why?

hypothetical:

you have 2 brothers
your wife is an only child
you have a son together
she asks to have son take her family name
what would your response be?
yes

I have 3 half-brothers actually and I could care less about my family name since my father's side of the family would rather not have me exist

and besides that my mother is the youngest out of three daughters so her family name takes priority even though my mother and I don't get along very well at all she's still my mother and I owe her that much

[Fireblade]

I don't remember if I took a crack at this thread (too lazy to reread it) but frankly I wouldn't care. All of my cousins have babies or what-not, and the name is spread throughout the world. It wouldn't matter, even though I am the first son of the first son, etc, etc. I don't see any reason to even keep my last name, but only the english one. I guess I hold the chinese last name with more value, since it's a definitive tie to my family, but I wouldn't impose it on anyone else. Otherwise I'm quite neutral about the whole situation.