A Lyrical Comparison For A Certain Relationship

[contra_diction]

lemme, uu, lemme tink.... uh, how should i start dis/ i guess tha best comes frum within tha chest whey tha heart is/ not tha bump-thumpin blood pumpin som'-som'in vein pourin' organ stored n tha ribcage's darkness/ dis Artist spits ta grip a nerve wit' wurdz composed n absurd grammatically incorrect curves to make u wona visually analytically rip apart its pages/ ur concealed happiness & hid rage iz marked wit' sharp wit but when dis emotional spark hits tha gasoline/ n ur soul, a cold, melt-tha-gold Pheonix uv amalgamatic reasons channel erratic seasons flashin emphatically over ur face makin it hard 2 mask ya dream/ uv a Utopia, welz i wuz livin dis rhythm wen ur wurdz uv experience & Wisdom.. u woke me up lyk tha ring uv a nu Nokia frum a constant Rave to a constant RAIN/ now i gotta kweshtun but jes askin means i admit a little oh tha hypocritical but wha's writ's a riddled flo dat n 1 day n som way'll bring Chop-Jae [mi alter ego] unsponsored fame/ but anyways, bcos uv tha WEATHER untethered wen u severed mi ever-on-'switched' brain frum tha keep-it-together 'lever' u created a PONCHO uv pain & daz a monstrous game 2 play but i'll staunch tha DRAIN lyk tha Johnson&Johnson name wit' tung-tyin' lyrical wrasslin'/ n a tireless attempt 2 freestyle dis & vent n tha hopes dat this childish unkempt mindless & bent version uv me disappears lyk miracles vanishin'/ but fa you there's an unbearable passion insyde uv me daz lyk a veritable fashion..... i mean, when iz hot yo bought, but wut happens when iz not? daz an emotional emergency/ so call tha Cherubim's 9-1-1, Cupid came but tha arrow's bent (find a gun, nah) F dat, am i too arrogant.. time's up, pun intended cos a philosopher iz emergin' n me/ wit' fun rymes freed spit sublimely 2 make tha collective masses uv 1 mind free wit' never an unkind deed extended/ gyrl! u surrendered ur mind 2 me but pretended dat tha boi u befriended hadn't already ascended to tha upper echelons uv maturity's descendant/ cos all mi life tha elderly cleverly assurin me Maturity's all about conformity all-together ignorin' the wise way that i'm gettin' on/ but tha fact dat i'm so stricken by u jes sickens me cos ur ev'ry motion onli thickens tha emotions floatin' n mi soul's ocean & dis whole ryme's an oximoron cos i feel ur jes not impressed by songs/ so fuq this!
ah
dammit
damm
you're not an angel, your heaven's dawn...
you shine light on the crescent lawn...
you bring me an effervescent calm...
cos Chop spits to talk wit' you cos that's all i like to do in this mock picture is be in your presence, swan...
so let me leave it at that before i bust into a second song.............. *bows head*

[iris]

wow...not sure I'd want to be on the other hand of that relationship~ :lol: Nice flow of words.

[contra_diction]

hmmm, the person on the other end of the relationship is the one messing it all up, refusing to look past the skin, the age, believing the lyricist to be just too young. c, the other person is the one confusing the relationship with him/her listening to the head and not the heart leaving the protagonist helpless only able to express the hurt through this rhyme (but ultimately too shy and so keeps it bottled up), so as not to make the "other hand" unhappy. but ye, the wordplay was fun, thank you, did you pick up on the structure towards the end, it's all couplets with inners- and stuttersteps- throughout.

[karizma]

not a bad flow but did you really have to spell question "kweshtun" lol...reminds me of when i TyPeD LyKe DiS. but good flow regardless.

[contra_diction]

Originally posted by karizma@Dec 18 2002, 08:11 AM
not a bad flow but did you really have to spell question "kweshtun" lol...reminds me of when i TyPeD LyKe DiS. but good flow regardless.
actually,_the_spelling_is_just_a_part_of_the_prese ntation_of_the_rhyme,_but_thanks_for_real_for_chec king_it_out.
(damm_space_bar's_F'ed_up)

[artsfartsyjanet]

i agree about the flow of words, but I also think your choice of words you use is very perceptive and evocative.

[contra_diction]

thank you janet. it's all about the diction. ^_^