Asiaphilic non-Asian women

[Zdrav]

As an Asian guy, nothing scares me off more than an Asiaphilic non-Asian girl. Given the widespread online whining of Asian males, there's a surprising number of Asiaphiles in the non-Asian female community. Not an overwhelming number, but still a sizable amount.

Anyway, a range of thoughts and fears run through my mind when a potentially Asiaphilic girl starts being a little too friendly to me, such as:

1) What kind of preconceived notions does she have about me?

2) Does she think that Asian guys are really easy because we're all so desperate and pathetic?

3) Would she like me if I weren't Asian?

4) Just why exactly did she choose to dedicate all her attentions to a small minority population?

5) Oh great, I'm being overtly racialized when I want to get past this whole race thing.

Anyone else experience these situations?

[kimpossible]

Allow me to introduce my nifty flowchart. I purposely didn't include hard set characteristics such as minimal cup size or maximum dress size so you can each personalize it.

Kim's Asiaphile Determination Chart

Is individual in question correspond to my sexual orientation?

N - person is evil asiaphile
Y - continue

Is individual in question hot in eyes of the Asian objectified?

N - person with fetish is evil asiaphile
Y - continue

Does the fetish increase my chances of sexing him/her?

N - too bad
Y - continue

Does sexy time with qualified person reach parity with blabbering about Asian stuff?

Less than equal - disqualified
Equal to - end is near
Greater than - continue

Can person move on from blabbering or at least be shut up long enough?

N - dump
Y - continue

Is person so incredibly hot and worth mental baggage?

N - dump
Y - you love him/her long time

[YelloFello]

How do you know if a woman is being friendly to you because she simply finds you physically attractive or because she has an Asian fetish?

The signs of fetishism are not difficult to deduce. If the woman has an obsession with Anime or any other kind of Asian import junk, or if she thinks the Orient is an exotic land filled with mystery and such, then she is warped. But if I don't know any of this, her attraction may just be on an individual and physical level rather than based on her perceptions of an entire race and gender.

Non-Asian wo/men can be attracted to Asian wo/men without having an Asian fetish. It's offensive to think that the only non-Asian women who are attracted to Asian men must have some kind of fetish.

[deez nuts]

Non-Asian wo/men can be attracted to Asian wo/men without having an Asian fetish. It's offensive to think that the only non-Asian women who are attracted to Asian men must have some kind of fetish.

That's because the Asian American male confidence has been destroyed to the point where he himself question as to why any woman other than an Asian woman would find him attractive.

[Sunflare]

As an Asian guy, nothing scares me off more than an Asiaphilic non-Asian girl. Given the widespread online whining of Asian males, there's a surprising number of Asiaphiles in the non-Asian female community. Not an overwhelming number, but still a sizable amount.

Interesting that you are talking about the online whiners yet you are the one posting this thread complaining about non-Asian women with a supposed Asian fetish. Get real. Lets not confuse the rightly angry AMs with the whiner loser AMs. Okay ?

Many of the attractive non Asian females like Asian males not because of a supposed fetish but more because they simply find Asian men sexually attractive. Simple as that.

In my experiences most of the ladies I dated were actually non-Asian. I never had any problems like what you have just described with the lovely ladies I went out with. And I loved it.

Deez nuts nailed it on the head. The negativity stemming from the articles splattered all over the net concerning APAs and dating, and the asexual AM stereotypes screaming through your TV screens, the IR dating disparity bullshit and so forth, has put some of the more nieve AMs into a state of utter paranoia, questioning every woman who is non-Asian as to her motives on why she may be attracted to AMs. Ridiculous.

Personally I love the attention I get from the non-Asian ladies. Furthermore, I really don't give two shits if no AFs give me the time of day at this point.

Why do I feel this way? I still have the many opportunities to date hot gorgeous honeys that are non-Asian despite the problems concerning dating because of race and fetishism issues with the AFs who insist on selling out yada yada and so forth. So, I'm not missing out on nothing at all.

So things like this does not bother me. In fact I glad, grinning from ear to ear and shit , that there are so many non-Asian chicks that go nuts for Asian men. Like me. w00h00 !!! I'm practically on the run from the non-Asian female asiaphilacs in school every blessed moment and loving every minute of it.

Well anyway assuming that you have a particular preference for AFs leading to your concerns when it comes to dating, keep in mind there is hope for AMs who want to stay true with their AF honeys. Its definitely possible for you regardless of location and situation. But I think it all lies in your mentality and outlook on life, among other things ........

[Zdrav]

How do you know if a woman is being friendly to you because she simply finds you physically attractive or because she has an Asian fetish?

They tend to have a disproportionately high number of Asian friends, and/or extremely high levels of interest in Asian culture such as languages. I'm not saying that if a non-Asian girl's best friend is Asian, or if said non-Asian girl takes a Chinese class, that she's an Asiaphile, but if her entire social circle is nearly all-Asian and she's a Japanese/Chinese Studies double major, then my suspicions are alerted.

[Chooky]

As an Asian guy, nothing scares me off more than an Asiaphilic non-Asian girl. Given the widespread online whining of Asian males, there's a surprising number of Asiaphiles in the non-Asian female community. Not an overwhelming number, but still a sizable amount.

Anyway, a range of thoughts and fears run through my mind when a potentially Asiaphilic girl starts being a little too friendly to me, such as:

1) What kind of preconceived notions does she have about me?

2) Does she think that Asian guys are really easy because we're all so desperate and pathetic?

3) Would she like me if I weren't Asian?

4) Just why exactly did she choose to dedicate all her attentions to a small minority population?

5) Oh great, I'm being overtly racialized when I want to get past this whole race thing.

Anyone else experience these situations?

I'm not one to give advice, but I think you should change your thinking as follows;

1) What kind of pre-concieved notions does she have about putting out on the first date?

2) I hope she's easy.

3) My suspicions are confirmed that I, as an Asian guy, am so cool that I'm about to get laid with not much effort.

4) How can I get her to stop talking about Asia and start talking about my balls.

5) Great, I'm so racialized that my dick is getting tired.

[thaite]

The asiaphiles I tend to attract don't really do it for me, aesthetically-wise. So, I've taken to just flirting with them and stringing their hopes along because it boosts my ego.


that's mean, I s'pose.

[BillBlythe]

That's because the Asian American male confidence has been destroyed to the point where he himself question as to why any woman other than an Asian woman would find him attractive.

nail ------->head.

[kimpossible]

As an Asian guy, nothing scares me off more than an Asiaphilic non-Asian girl.

Do you really rationalize this stuff if she's super hot? Don't lie, now.

[SunWuKong]

Do you really rationalize this stuff if she's super hot? Don't lie, now.

yeah seriously.

she's hot? great!
she says "ni hao" to me? perfect!

[popculturepooka]

I find "Asiaphile non-Asian women" to be code for Japanophile.

Seriously. I've never heard/met a non-Asian women who was obsessed with another Asian culture besides Japans'.

I'm just sayin'.

[BeTheReds]

hmm... Asiphile women don't go for me. Never had to think about it.

[AngryABCGirl]

Asiaphilic non-Asian women are abound at anime conventions.

[Napoleon Chynamite]

I don't get it, why not just say "asiaphilic women" or female asiaphiles? Sure, there are asians born outside of asia that are asiaphiles because they're trying to find something to latch onto, but nobody ever says "asiaphilic non-asian men".

Pretty much all the white girls I hang out with have like no other Asian friends or Japanese majors, and hang out with people with names like Brad, Steve, Megan, and Amber, so I'm safe ^^ One time I met this hot white girl and I wanted to get to know her more but then in one of our initial conversations I remember she said something like 'yea...so my ex-boyfriend Myung" or something like that, and after that I just steered clear...I don't even know for sure if it was just a coincidence or if she was really an asiaphile or not, but just the possibility was enough for me...plenty of fish in the sea, why take the time and risk. Lol if I date a white girl she needs to be the whitest of the white and be completely ignorant of all things Asian. In fact the last part of our first convo will probably go something like this (ideally):

Me: So...I'll pick you up on Friday at 7 pm then?
Her: Sure...sounds great~
Me: Well...actually, before you go, could you do me a favor? *takes out map* Could you point to me where North Korea is?
Her: Oh..hmmmm, is it here? *points at Australia*
Me: Excellent. See you Friday ^_^

[BillBlythe]

the ir disparity is really starting to make sense to me.

[Banana]

Me: So...I'll pick you up on Friday at 7 pm then?
Her: Sure...sounds great~
Me: Well...actually, before you go, could you do me a favor? *takes out map* Could you point to me where North Korea is?
Her: Oh..hmmmm, is it here? *points at Australia*
Me: Excellent. See you Friday ^_^

That doesn't mean she's not an Asiaphile but that does mean she's a retard.

[eos]

^hey, as long as she's hot, who cares? not like guys are interested in meaningful conversations anyway.

[mr. x]

I think I've seen less than 10 asian dudes with non-asian girls in my entire life. Those girls who are into asian "things" are not always into asian dudes. Unfortunately the disparity between an anime guy and a real asian guy is rather large...

[SunWuKong]

I think I've seen less than 10 asian dudes with non-asian girls in my entire life. Those girls who are into asian "things" are not always into asian dudes. Unfortunately the disparity between an anime guy and a real asian guy is rather large...

oh i've definitely seen many more than 10. maybe it's more common on the East Coast.

[AngryABCGirl]

oh i've definitely seen many more than 10. maybe it's more common on the East Coast.

I see a lot in California, like regularly, especially in areas ironically where it's more diverse (ie not just Asians). Especially in Norcal, where it's one multi-racial breeding ground.

[BillBlythe]

I'll see 10 in a week if i go down town, but i'll see 10 wm/af couples in an hours walk. Especially in the hipsterdoofus yuppy areas.

[kimpossible]

I haven't exactly taken notes and crunched data on the subject but I think the disparity will reach parity in my son's generation. When I was a kid it was much more rare for me to see Asian guys with non-Asian women than an Asian woman with a non-Asian guy but within my circle of friends peer age and a bit younger it's about even. Marriage is a different story, most are in the steady gf stage. This covers American born, 1.5ers and recently arrived.

Weird experience the other day. We probably get slightly more than our fair share but on topic, a neighbor was talking to me and referred to my husband and I as a "Bay Area couple". Since I consider California a foreign country I continued with the non-committal responses.

Now how I convince my son to eventually settle down with a nice Taiwanese girl I haven't figured out yet but I have the time to hatch a plot.

[AngryABCGirl]

I haven't exactly taken notes and crunched data on the subject but I think the disparity will reach parity in my son's generation. When I was a kid it was much more rare for me to see Asian guys with non-Asian women than an Asian woman with a non-Asian guy but within my circle of friends peer age and a bit younger it's about even. Marriage is a different story, most are in the steady gf stage. This covers American born, 1.5ers and recently arrived.

Weird experience the other day. We probably get slightly more than our fair share but on topic, a neighbor was talking to me and referred to my husband and I as a "Bay Area couple". Since I consider California a foreign country I continued with the non-committal responses.

Now how I convince my son to eventually settle down with a nice Taiwanese girl I haven't figured out yet but I have the time to hatch a plot.

Most Chinese-American guys I know in CA, including hapas, tend to settle down with another Chinese person from the same ancestry, including ABCs or at least another Asian. A lot of it has to do with growing up together and understand each other's thinking and families. If I were a mother, which is something I have no clue about, but when I am, I'd want my kid to grow up with a lot of other Chinese kids for obvious reasons. I'd actually trade living in a cheaper suburban area to somewhere more expensive and sacrifice material comforts for that- I know my parents did this for me. The way I'm going though, I wouldn't be shocked if my children were born and raised somewhere in Asia.

I would probably consider you a Bay Area couple too if I didn't know any better. Norcal=Multiracial breeding ground as far as I'm concerned, much more than any of part the US. Asian guys with White girls and little hapa babies is actually an extremely common sight there, that's probably why. I don't see as many in Southern California outside of the nicer areas of LA. Hell I'm moving to Norcal in a few months, I'm gonna piss off white yippies with my LA girl assholish-ness wearing flossy clothes and attitude despite being very liberal. Norcal's a great place to raise kids in opinion- except for the high costs of living, but you get what you pay for.

[deez nuts]

^ Really? You would know more than me. But, all i saw when I was there were Non-Asian dudes with Asian chicks. I usually don't pay attention but there were so many, it was hard not to see one. Not gonna lie though, the Asian guys I saw and met there were not exactly the best catches in terms of presentation, so a part of me didn't really blame the s.o.w.'s.

My new outlook is:
If my kid is a boy, I will allow him to marry interracially pretty freely.

If my kid is a girl (I really hope not), I will allow her to marry interracially only if he meets or exceeds my expectations. There will be higher standards for a non-Chinese boy than a Chinese boy.

[kimpossible]

If you have a girl, let me know.

[deez nuts]

If you have a girl, let me know.

I was actually talking about the possibility of that union with Dana about it just now. Lol.

[kimpossible]

She wouldn't have to change her last name.

[deez nuts]

She wouldn't have to change her last name.

Well that's the only problem I foresee with the union...same last name. I don't know why it's such a big deal with the older generation. Mother one time said I was cutting it close with an ex and she had a one letter difference but essentially the same last name.

[mr. x]

If I have a daughter and she wanted to marry some non-asian dude, he would have to first complete the 6 chambers of Shaolin

that and change his last name

[Sunflare]

If I have a daughter and she wanted to marry some non-asian dude, he would have to first complete the 6 chambers of Shaolin

that and change his last name

If my daughter had to marry *specifically* a white dude he shall have the choices of walking through fire, or/and lying on a bed of nails, or/and walking barefoot on broken class then burning hot coals afterwards.

Then, he must throw himself into a pool of starving sharks.

If he manages to actually survive these grueling tests then I'll ask his white ass to prove to me his true for love for my daughter by drinking a couple of bottles of lye (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lye).

OK. I'm done venting.

I don't care if she wanted to marry a non-Asian dude of color otherwise. I'm reasonable.

[deez nuts]

^ Props and respect!

[J Honcanese]

Speaking of IR relationships, if I go back to HK after graduation chances are that I'll either be dating an overseas-bred Asian or someone who isn't Asian altogether.

I can't see myself going out with a traditional Asian girl because we just wouldn't be on the same wavelength. It would get awkward a lot of the time. Some of my flatmates in the hall where I'm living are from Mainland China and just a couple hours ago they were all chatting over a big meal when I walked into the room. They stopped speaking and just stared when I put my stuff down at the opposite end of the table. Honestly, I get an unfriendly vibe from quite a few Asian Asians I meet; it's probably because they see me as a sell-out banana dude. But I digress.

[kimpossible]

Poor Brazilian girl. How you love them and leave them. *tear* Why do you have to be a heartbreaker, J? Why?

[Sunflare]

Speaking of IR relationships, if I go back to HK after graduation chances are that I'll either be dating an overseas-bred Asian or someone who isn't Asian altogether.

I can't see myself going out with a traditional Asian girl because we just wouldn't be on the same wavelength. It would get awkward a lot of the time. Some of my flatmates in the hall where I'm living are from Mainland China and just a couple hours ago they were all chatting over a big meal when I walked into the room. They stopped speaking and just stared when I put my stuff down at the opposite end of the table. Honestly, I get an unfriendly vibe from quite a few Asian Asians I meet; it's probably because they see me as a sell-out banana dude. But I digress.

You're not the only one. I had similar problems with traditional Asian girls ( and APA women too even ) since I am not full Chinese, don't know how to speak Cantonese and can speak only a little Mandarin. They probably look at me as some sort of jook sing or some sort of alien ganjin freak or something.

But the latina girls , Indian girls, and the black girls always were more then willing to get to know me and go on dates with me. Which is obviously why generally I feel alot more comfortable with non-Asian chicks.

[Sunflare]

Let me put it this way. All the girls I dated that were heartbreakers were AFs, NOT non-Asian chicks. In my opinion and from personal exprience, non-Asian girls are the ones that are usually faithful to their mates, not AFs. I lost my virginity to a Chinese girl and was swooning over this lady. But she later dissed me for some rich 45 year old Jewish man in upstate NY eventually.

Later on I dated this black girl (She is from Boston). She was the complete opposite of my first love, if I can even call her that. She was faithful, affectionate, kind, and she understood me. She was really there for me.

Later on as I continued with my sex life I dated Latina and Indian girls. No drama and bullshit. They were like the most beatiful persons I have ever met in my life in terms of personality. they gave me nothing but love.

The girlfriend I dated before I met my current GF was an AF, actually a hapa. We were in a serious sexual relationship for a year. But the bitch cheated on me. I was suspicious because she used to make all these mysterious trips back to Japan without a clear explaination as to why. One day I figured out her password to her email address, read certain messages and finally figured out that she was fucking aroung with this white boy living in Japan. She could'nt deny the proof I found out concerning her. So I had to let her go quickly. I never knew how heartbreak really felt until I dated this girl. Many of my friends told me that this girl was a hoe but I did'nt listen. I was truely in love with her.

Now I'm dating this girl that is mixed; part Indian, part Egyptian. I have no idea how this relationship will go. We will see. But so far, I have to admit she is a really lovely girl. But even still I find it hard to get over my previous relationship, honestly. Last night my GF came over my place and we had a good time. We had sex, then we cuddled up and slept. But then as I fell asleep I started dreaming about my ex girlfriend (again) . I woke up in a sweat. In the morning my current GF asked me if everything was alright and what I was dreaming about, but I had to come up with a excuse. She really would'nt understand that the Japanese girl I was in love with previously really fucked my head up really bad. Not yet anyway .......

No disrespect to all the AFs out there, but if in the future, if another AF was to come my way showing interest, I would be very hesitant to even get involved with her to say the least.

[Banana]

^Odd. That sounds like the Asian women who swear off Asian men because of a bad experience with one. Apparently, dating whites doesn't seem to trigger the same type of "bad experience = swearing off the whole group" because whites can be treated as individuals while minorites can't.

[nameless]

^lol I was going to say that, but I didn't want to turn it into one of those threads. oh well, it's on now...

[tommyhtown]

^ Count me in. I was thinking the same thing.

[Sunflare]

^Odd. That sounds like the Asian women who swear off Asian men because of a bad experience with one. Apparently, dating whites doesn't seem to trigger the same type of "bad experience = swearing off the whole group" because whites can be treated as individuals while minorites can't.

I don't date white girls. Never did and probably never will. I don't look at white girls as the standard of beauty. In fact I think white girls suck.

[Banana]

You're missing my point, guy.

My point being that you get pissed at Asian women who would respond the same way when you do the exact same thing. I don't want to trivialize your own outlook but I can honestly say that I have a much more sordid and murky history with Asian women than you can possibly imagine but still find your comments a bit ironic.

[Sunflare]

^lol I was going to say that, but I didn't want to turn it into one of those threads. oh well, it's on now^ Count me in. I was thinking the same thing.

So lets discuss. What's your gripes against my POVs and I'll start from there. Keep in mind that if I cant respond immediately it's because I'm going to be very busy this weekend.

You're missing my point, guy.

My point being that you get pissed at Asian women who would respond the same way when you do the exact same thing. I don't want to trivialize your own outlook but I can honestly say that I have a much more sordid and murky history with Asian women than you can possibly imagine but still find your comments a bit ironic.

What? Because I got tired of most of the AFs selling out and decided to venture out and see what other ladies are out there ? I'm not the initial cause of the IR issue. I gave the AFs that I dated a chance and they fucked up. Not me.

Well anyway I can understand that you had some tough experiences yourself .....

[eos]

AFs are SCANDALOUSSSSSSS...........

[Sunflare]

And that's why I dont bother with AFs anymore. Too much headache.

[nameless]

What? Because I got tired of most of the AFs selling out and decided to venture out and see what other ladies are out there ? I'm not the initial cause of the IR issue. I gave the AFs that I dated a chance and they fucked up. Not me.

And somewhere in the world, an AF is telling her friends...

I got tired of most of the AMs being overbearing and being jerks and decided to venture out and see what other men are out there. I'm not the initial cause of the IR issue. I gave the AMs that I dated a chance and they fucked up. Not me.

Do you see the irony? You are really no different than a woman who swears off such and such because of a bad experience(s). You want to feel important, and your ego can't stand it when someone tries to take that away from you. "[X] doesn't give me the respect I deserve?! Forget 'em."

So your mind looks for a way to put you back on top. You slam AFs (and vice versa) to remind yourself how much higher you are, and you create a new ideal (Brazilian, white, etc.) that is worthy of your level and will give you the treatment you deserve. Until maybe you have another bad experience, or you realize the girls see you as more meal ticket than man (or whatever stereotype) and the cycle continues.

[J Honcanese]

Poor Brazilian girl. How you love them and leave them. *tear* Why do you have to be a heartbreaker, J? Why?Lol, well at this stage I'm about 50/50 on returning to HK after college (which is a long way away considering that I still have to do a masters). If things work out between us then I might just end up staying here permanently.

[Sunflare]

^lol I was going to say that, but I didn't want to turn it into one of those threads. oh well, it's on now

..........................................

And somewhere in the world, an AF is telling her friends...

I got tired of most of the AMs being overbearing and being jerks and decided to venture out and see what other men are out there. I'm not the initial cause of the IR issue. I gave the AMs that I dated a chance and they fucked up. Not me.

Do you see the irony? You are really no different than a woman who swears off such and such because of a bad experience(s). You want to feel important, and your ego can't stand it when someone tries to take that away from you. "[X] doesn't give me the respect I deserve?! Forget 'em."

So your mind looks for a way to put you back on top. You slam AFs (and vice versa) to remind yourself how much higher you are, and you create a new ideal (Brazilian, white, etc.) that is worthy of your level and will give you the treatment you deserve. Until maybe you have another bad experience, or you realize the girls see you as more meal ticket than man (or whatever stereotype) and the cycle continues.

I don't really feel like getting ino a IR debate again either, I really don't. But I appreciate your well thought out comment so I'll respond.

To start off, I think my situation is indeed different than that of an AF.

Most AFs choose to date outside their race because they are influenced by white male fetishism and are seeking to enjoy the benifits of white privilage by dating/marrying white. But as for AMs on the other hand it is quite different. Since the dating disparity ratio between AMs and AFs is so large, many AMs are forced to date outside their race themselves since there is'nt enough AFs available to date because of the disparity problem.

You are going on the notion it seems, that most AFs date outside their race because many AMs tend to be unloving and cruel to their AM signifigant others when that in itself can be said a stereotype and when in fact it's the opposite. Most AMs I've seen can are very tender, affectionate and loving towards their mates. Most AFs I seen on the other hand, can be really arrogant and presumtuous.

Personally speaking now, I guess I'm going to eat my own words because deep inside, I really haven't given up on AFs. In fact I find AFs unlike other females drop dead gorgeous and beautiful to the point it's painful. In all the relationships I had, I have to admit that I was most deeply in love with the Asian ladies I was in sexual relationships with. Yet despite this, these AFs were the meanest of persons I have ever seen. Rude, selfish, self centered, hateful towards their own culture and their own people, and constantly embittered.

With the ladies of other races that I've dated and dating now, I never had that problem. They were really down to earth and full of love. They were really positive about things. They really knew how to treat me with dignity and respect as a man. They knew how to please me well and did not treat me disrespectfully, and even cheat on me the way these AFs did.

There is other factors too that causes problems in my dating life with AFs. Like the fact that I am not full Chinese. Which is why persons like Banana is at an advantage when it comes to dating AFs as compared to someone like me. I'm at a sore disadvantage. Anyway this is not the hello hapas forum so i'm not going to get into this particular aspect too much ...

This is all reasons why I date non Asian chicks only now. At least at this point of my life. I needed that emotional break from all the heartache these AFs caused me in my sex life.

[Zdrav]

I don't date white girls. Never did and probably never will. I don't look at white girls as the standard of beauty. In fact I think white girls suck.

I think you're overcompensating a bit in terms of rejecting traditional standards.

[Sunflare]

I think you're overcompensating a bit in terms of rejecting traditional standards.

I when was writing about this IR dating issue I fueled with emotions and full of heartache, being in between relationships at that time, posting with passion rather than logic when I posted. ( Yes. I'm the romantic type. ) Hopefully this new relationship between my sweetheart and myself has only begun and will continue to blossom into something good if things continue the way it is.

I don't harbor the same negative feelings I used to express about women and dating anymore . My perception's changed.

At this point even though I highly value a girl that is small and petite, physically beautiful and charming, I am also looking for a girl who is kind, compassionate and very patient woman be be in love with .... and it's only fair that I strive hard to manifest the same superlative qualities so she an feel loved by me.

Despite how my last relationship ended and how much pain it caused me --- my AF ex-gf went back to Japan to be with this WM she had an affair with while we was still in a serious relationship. The pain is still there, I *still* suffer from dreams and flashbacks of the times I had with beautiful AF I was so in love with. Certain songs, going into certain places, etc where we had those good times enjoying each other, triggers off these bittersweet flashbacks.

But if even this current relationship with this cute little Indian/Middleeastern girl comes to an end too, and I'm single again, then hey, I'm equal opportunity for any sweet little honey to come my way.

But somewhere in my heart, I never gave up on my AF sisters. I'm tired of slamming AFs and focusing on IR, seeing I may be sending the message alright but damaging them and ultimately myself in the process. Now I rather try to be assertive and let my feelings be known with them whether positive or negative, when necessary and appropriate but at the same time treat them with dignity and respect ......

Perhaps that woman that I may marry one day, that woman that may be my lover and true friend for the rest of my life, she may be an AF after all. I always dreamed for that day to come one day ....

[mndeg]

"Despite how my last relationship ended and how much pain it caused me --- my AF ex-gf went back to Japan to be with this WM she had an affair with while we was still in a serious relationship. The pain is still there, I *still* suffer from dreams and flashbacks of the times I had with beautiful AF I was so in love with. Certain songs, going into certain places, etc where we had those good times enjoying each other, triggers off these bittersweet flashbacks."

ouch, displaced by a low value guy.

[Sunflare]

Despite how my last relationship ended and how much pain it caused me --- my AF ex-gf went back to Japan to be with this WM she had an affair with while we was still in a serious relationship. The pain is still there, I *still* suffer from dreams and flashbacks of the times I had with beautiful AF I was so in love with. Certain songs, going into certain places, etc where we had those good times enjoying each other, triggers off these bittersweet flashbacks.ouch, displaced by a low value guy.

Well sometimes a person needs to go through hardships in their love life, learn and grow from it. ( I'm sure you know this already, I'm just posting because I find it therapeutic in a way ) There are vital lessons I has to learn from this truly heartbreaking experience. If anything this may help me to improve as a yet even stronger person with a good heart full of love to give in an intimate sexual relationship with a lovely lady. It helped me to cultivate qualities such as patience and being a good listener when your lover is down. It also taught me alot about how to get the right view on IR without becoming what people would call a whining Asian male, instead looking at this with a level of maturity.

I'm trying hard to apply the lessons learned in the current relationship that I am in. Its tough, it really is, but if I didn't go through what I did, I'm very sure the relationship I am in now would have certainly failed if I had allowed myself to wallow in my misery and seethe in my anger over my ex girlfriend and so intensely that it affects my current sexual relationship. Ultimately it would had distorted my view on AFs because of my anger had I let it affect me to the point it starts to eat at my mind. If this relationship doesn't work and I fall, then hey, I'll get up, brush the dirt of my behind and try again.

Okay. I'm tired of being all emo over this. Thanks for your feedback though.

[Azn Retribution]

So lets discuss. What's your gripes against my POVs and I'll start from there. Keep in mind that if I cant respond immediately it's because I'm going to be very busy this weekend.



What? Because I got tired of most of the AFs selling out and decided to venture out and see what other ladies are out there ? I'm not the initial cause of the IR issue. I gave the AFs that I dated a chance and they fucked up. Not me.

Well anyway I can understand that you had some tough experiences yourself .....

christ almighty.

can there ever be anything new and intelligent said about this shit that hasn't been rehashed.

I don't know what kind of sample population you are using for your generalization but it's likely quite poor and hardly reflect AF's in general.

Maybe I need to live where you live because in the APA communities around here in Texas,
AM/AF is very much the norm.

Don't know any AM's who have trouble with womens of other races. Actually I get called out or complained more about my preference for asian girls.


People bitching about womens cheating on them or other men stealing their women need to STFU already and step up their game.

Blaming ethnicity or nationality is such a weak-ass crutch.

The game is the game.
If you don't play, you can't win.

So don't moan and bitch that its too hard when you don't want to play no more.

[Sunflare]

christ almighty.

can there ever be anything new and intelligent said about this shit that hasn't been rehashed.

I don't know what kind of sample population you are using for your generalization but it's likely quite poor and hardly reflect AF's in general.

Maybe I need to live where you live because in the APA communities around here in Texas,
AM/AF is very much the norm.

Don't know any AM's who have trouble with womens of other races. Actually I get called out or complained more about my preference for asian girls.


People bitching about womens cheating on them or other men stealing their women need to STFU already and step up their game.

Blaming ethnicity or nationality is such a weak-ass crutch.

The game is the game.
If you don't play, you can't win.

So don't moan and bitch that its too hard when you don't want to play no more.

Interesting comment.

You really don't know me too well and my circumstances when it comes to my dating life do you ?

So what's wrong with a person who wants to seek more in a romantic relationship? I'm not just about one night stands. I'm looking for long term relationships. You want to step up your game and fuck like a porn star ? Cool. Do your thing bro. Myself on the other hand, I'm more into getting into serious relationships with honeys that can lead perhaps into marriage and a family.

So in Texas you say that AM/AF is the norm ? Great. That's not the way it is in the Northeast. Or on the West Coast even from what I've heard. ( Notice I'm not interested in getting into another bullshit mindnumbing IR rant. )

Thanks for the pep talk. Well appreciated.