Funny conversations you overheard

[SunWuKong]

heard this today.

a guy with his two little kids walks by a beggar -
beggar: sir, can you give me some money?
guy: you know i got two kids, i ain't got no money to give you.
beggar: oh ok, god bless.

[cloudzero]

guyA: i think hes gay
guyB: why you think that?
guyA: he prefers to be around dudes
guyB: well who doesn't?

[ahsingjai]

IndianGuy: Do you guys smoke up?
Dude1: No
Dude2: Yeah
Dude3: No
Dude1: Aye you look like my friend dhanraj.
IndianGuy: What's a Dhanraj?

[Banana]

"Hi. Do you speak Asian?"

[cloudzero]

black guy: gong hay fat choy
viet guy: uh....

[popculturepooka]

japanese girl = jgirl

jgirl1: hey lookit that black guy, in japan! i've never seen one up close before!!
jgirl2: yea, i bet he's american, american blacks are good at sports.
jgirl1: i bet he's good in bed...i heard they are.
jgirl2: yea...me too.
jgirl1: you think he can speak japanese?
jgirl2: maybe, i think he's half tho...
me: yeah, i think he can.
jgirls1&2: OH. MY. GOD! *run away with red faces*

[eos]

me: ____, can you please staple these copies together? i put them in order already. 1 through 11.
idiot: so start from here?
me: yes (placing finger on starting point, and on each subsequent page), and then go around this way.
idiot: ok
---------
this guy is 29. he messed up my copies AND stapled them crappily. not funny haha, but funny retarded.

[kimpossible]

I was made an offer yesterday by a nice young Samoan man that he would teach me a haka if I went to his church.

You guys know the other one. I used it as my sig for a while.

Two guys are fighting outside in the alley under the apartment window. Both drunk white dudes. Lots of drunken blarghety-blarg back and forth until one cries out shrilly about going to get a gun and not to mess with him because (and I quote), "I am a motherfuckin' GANGSTER hippie!!"

[popculturepooka]

. Two guys are fighting outside in the alley under the apartment window. Both drunk white dudes. Lots of drunken blarghety-blarg back and forth until one cries out shrilly about going to get a gun and not to mess with him because (and I quote), "I am a motherfuckin' GANGSTER hippie!!"

Hip-Hop, the gift that keeps on giving.

[Adaon]

In reference to a German word, I had asked my friend: . . . .

Pat: So what's _______ mean?

Pat's friend: Ehhh, it's hard to explain . . . it's something that's both funny and sad at the same time.

Pat: So it's sort of like irony . . . .

Pat's friend: Kind of, but not quite . . . . .

Pat: Hmm. So it's kind of like a packed clown car full of clowns involved in an accident where clowns died. It's funny but sad at the same time.

Pat's friend: . . . . .

[VV o n g B a]

guy1: so... i've got this nurse friend that works at the hospital.
guy2: okay...
guy1: she tells me this story about how the hospital has free std screening on mondays. so thats when all the hos show up.
guy2: ew. haha...
guy1: so this one ho has a colostomy bag. u know what that is?
guy2: it's that... it's that thing where u've got a hole in ur stomach that u shit into right?
guy1: yeah yeah. so ...
guy2: (interrupts) gross! wtf.
guy1: so can u see where this is headed?
guy2: uh.. omg.
guy1: yeah. guys pay extra to do her in the "unique" hole.
guy2: awwww SHIT! awww GAWD... WTF? why u need to tell me that shit?

[cloudzero]

random guy: What are you? Vietnamese? Korean? Japanese? Burmese? Thai? Filipino? Laos? Cambodian? Laotian? Indonesian?

Asian: im Chinese

random guy: ahhhh....never heard of that one

[snailpoo]

Baliff: The charges are armed robbery, illegal possession of a firearm, and assault with a deadly weapon.
Judge: Do you understand the charges?
Defendant: Yes.
Judge: Do you have any questions?
Defendant: Yes.
Judge: Please ask them.
Defendant: When do I get my pistol back?

[mr. x]

Baliff: The charges are armed robbery, illegal possession of a firearm, and assault with a deadly weapon.
Judge: Do you understand the charges?
Defendant: Yes.
Judge: Do you have any questions?
Defendant: Yes.
Judge: Please ask them.
Defendant: When do I get my pistol back?
hah, Jury Duty :cool:

unless you are the defendant :frown:

[Adaon]

In a bar, guy walks up to a girl . . . .

Guy: Hi. Can I buy you a drink?

Girl: Nah, no thanks. I don't drink anymore.

Guy: Why not?

Girl: Because drinking affects my legs.

Guy: How? It makes them swell or something?

Girl: No, it makes them spread.

[Banana]

"Why did I get extra mustard on my sandwich when I specifically asked for no mustard at all?! I really really hate people."