The less travelled = unworldly?

[mrcfo]

What are your thoughts on this? Basically I've only ever travelled to Vietnam, Hong Kong, Singapore and the last 2X odd years in Australia. That's all the travel I've done in approaching the 26th year of my life...and even within Australia I've only done Sydney once and many places in good old Victoria...

Anyway, I've met up with a few friends/acquaintences who I use to be very close with...and all hve done all a 2 year working visa in London/USA, a few have done it interstate (Australia). Great stories, rave stories in fact and in some ways, they've pressured me into thinking it's one thing to do before you die.

They've basically glamourised the entire "I'm now a fucking expat" experience and somehow this would be such a big thing on their resume now. Like IT IS THE THING TO DO...in some ways, between the lines it's as if I'm now bloody inferior...

I do value their friendship, but I'm just a bit uncomfortable about all this travel business. It's like now they are somewhat assessing me differently because I don't have this so called experiences that my horizons and knowledge is now limited than theirs. They are somewhat more independent and street-smart is was also added.

My thoughts are this though...I admit, I have been to very few places in this world and perhaps maybe I am deprived on some things, some things they've learnt via travels that I will never experience IF I don't do it....however, a lack of people to travel with me, being uncomfortable travelling alone and generally I am NOT a traveller.

Putting me down a notch or at least sort of judging so irks me, I mean seriously for all their time spent overseas working for large firms, I've done the same investing that time into my career (not that I am a career person, but it's not like I've been idling around either!). Big fuck if you've worked for whatever corporate giant and now that you've been somehow "exposed" to the real world.

In other words, I guess because our travel tastes are the same, somehow I'm not on the same "footing" as they are. I guess my emotions are mixed, yeah true their experiences was more bloody fun than actually staying in your hometown. But at the end of the day, I can't really work out whats the big deal/fuss all about???

Many left Melbourne (home) for many reasons, some were just too bloody bored of the clubbing scene week in week out, some fucked up uni and some just said their young careers were "going anywhere, or at the pace they would like it to be..." Ironically much of what they did overseas in that time was spent drinking until they turned into zombies and busting their arses off in nightclubs, not so much different to what they did back home...so whats all the bloody big fuss?

.I guess in a way I'm venting under vexed emotions...on one side I don't totally agree with this whole travel thing will make you some sort of better person and secondly I guess yes, I am kinda jealous in some way...

[rice cracker]

Oh, so many conversations are ruined when someone opens their mouth and says, "When I lived in...."

Like, I get that it was a cool experience, *I* would think it's cool if I had lived it. But please, move on to other subjects. I can only listen to someone's thoughts on Eastern European musical trends for so long. The worst are people who lived overseas for 1-3 months as students or whatever. It's like the pinnacle of their lives and it's all they talk about. Also, they became experts on the culture in that amount of time. Hate.

I don't have much a coping method for when people get really obnoxious about their travels ("things were sooooooooo much better in..."), but when it's friends, it's helpful to understand that it *was* a big deal for them and they will be using it as a basis for comparisons to the "homeland." And they're probably not judging you, and if they are, just remind yourself that take away the trip to Spain, and they're just like you.

[Banana]

I've lived overseas when I was being moved around by my company for 5 years. If I ever meet Rice Cracker, remind me to talk down to her about how unworldly she is!

Interestingly enough, I actually try to avoid talking about my time overseas as it always turns into a stupid flurry of questions about how cool it is to be so worldly.

[Tao]

if you're a pretentious douche bag it doesn't matter where you have or haven't been, it'll show in your personality either way. i have a friend who went to spain before starting med school and even though she's a really nice person and very genuine, whenever we get in a convo she always, always manages to bring up "this one time in spain blah blah blah." It's like that's nice and all, but first of all it's not exactly a funny story, so there's no real payoff in the end...and since i've never been there, i can't relate and so it unintentionally becomes a conversation killer. so now whenever she tells me stories of spain, i come back at her with my stories in ecuador...boom shaka laka!

[rice cracker]

so now whenever she tells me stories of spain, i come back at her with my stories in ecuador...boom shaka laka!

Hahaha, I do that too, but replace Ecuador with Korea and Okinawa. Nips things in the bud, so to speak.

[rice cracker]

I've lived overseas when I was being moved around by my company for 5 years. If I ever meet Rice Cracker, remind me to talk down to her about how unworldly she is!



Speaking of unwordly, one time in Okinawa...

[Tao]

Speaking of unwordly, one time in Okinawa...

off topic, but are girls in okinawa hot? i was in tokyo for a week and i wasn't really that impressed. NYC girls are the best!!!

[mrcfo]

Oh, so many conversations are ruined when someone opens their mouth and says, "When I lived in...."

Like, I get that it was a cool experience, *I* would think it's cool if I had lived it. But please, move on to other subjects. I can only listen to someone's thoughts on Eastern European musical trends for so long. The worst are people who lived overseas for 1-3 months as students or whatever. It's like the pinnacle of their lives and it's all they talk about. Also, they became experts on the culture in that amount of time. Hate.

I don't have much a coping method for when people get really obnoxious about their travels ("things were sooooooooo much better in..."), but when it's friends, it's helpful to understand that it *was* a big deal for them and they will be using it as a basis for comparisons to the "homeland." And they're probably not judging you, and if they are, just remind yourself that take away the trip to Spain, and they're just like you.

Wouldnt that then just promote or at least agree with what they've said? By saying that without it, you're simply just the same as me would in my books somewhat rate them as superior due to the experience.

Look, I"m not going to lie, I'm not much of a traveller ..I just really don't see the whole point of working in another country when I'm relatively happy and really comfortable back home. The biggest thing that irks me (maybe it is true, maybe not...) is the suggestion that an "overseas experience" will open doors and so forth...it's a window of opportunity and it's by far and wide catalysed their careers.

It's perhaps the way they promote these things, these working visa stints ... I mean fine, you've done it, you've done well for yourself. However, do you really have to shove it into everyone else's face and suddenly prescribe that you really need to do this too?

Yeah, OK, I'll admit, yes by travelling you do have an opportunity to see what other people around the world live like and it does teach you a lesson or two about being independent and gaining ultimate freedom.

If I really did want to get into a shit fight/childish superior "I am better than you fight" then I could always pull in the fact the reasons for these so called mates of mine to leave the country in the first place. As I mentioned, 25% fell into the "my career isnt going anywhere" catergory, 25% did jackshit back home, working odd jobs and stuffing up uni, 25% got sick of the clubbing scene back home and the remainder was totally sick of the corporate life. I never needed a "working holiday" to improve/esculate my life/ego....

[rice cracker]

Wouldnt that then just promote or at least agree with what they've said? By saying that without it, you're simply just the same as me would in my books somewhat rate them as superior due to the experience.


Um. No. I don't think I said anything about people being superior due to the experience. My piont is that they're still your friend and you have stuff in common, a trip to Spain (or whatever) shouldn't change that.

[popculturepooka]

off topic, but are girls in okinawa hot? i was in tokyo for a week and i wasn't really that impressed. NYC girls are the best!!!

come to yokohama. :cool:

[AngryABCGirl]

Oh, so many conversations are ruined when someone opens their mouth and says, "When I lived in...."

Like, I get that it was a cool experience, *I* would think it's cool if I had lived it. But please, move on to other subjects. I can only listen to someone's thoughts on Eastern European musical trends for so long. The worst are people who lived overseas for 1-3 months as students or whatever. It's like the pinnacle of their lives and it's all they talk about. Also, they became experts on the culture in that amount of time. Hate.

I don't have much a coping method for when people get really obnoxious about their travels ("things were sooooooooo much better in..."), but when it's friends, it's helpful to understand that it *was* a big deal for them and they will be using it as a basis for comparisons to the "homeland." And they're probably not judging you, and if they are, just remind yourself that take away the trip to Spain, and they're just like you.

I think the longer you spend abroad the less exciting it is and more cynical you become. I went to Taiwan the same time a friend went to France, and we'd talk about how unglamorous living abroad really was and the longer you're there the more life becomes very normal and you're just like anywhere else, except with very superficial friendships. After awhile it was just the daily grind and rat race like anywhere else. Plus I'm not the type that's happy with going clubbing and being stupid in another country. I was fortunate to have good friends nearby in Hong Kong to see every few months. If it wasn't for getting to know my family more there, I wouldn't have been worth the sacrifices I made to go there now that I look back.

I talked about Taiwan non-stop for about the first five days, but I was going through major major re-entry shock. When you're gone for awhile you forget that you don't have to run in a panic to cross the street because cars stop for people here and such and I was aghast that I had to go through a metal detector to go to my bank in LA to get my banking straight again.

Then I've stopped talking about it since then except with other Chinese people, and we're discussing things like politics, economy, and social issues we care about as Chinese people as opposed "Wow people live differently somewhere else!." I'm actually really annoyed people keep asking me about it. It's over, and while I might know a bit more about other countries and living by myself, it didn't change my life or make me a new person by any means except a disturbing new habit of buying cute things I don't need.

My friend had been to France before for a semester so of course it was fabulous with a bunch of other Americans, but going alone to grad school was the total opposite and now she hates French people.

So in other words, it's not that big of a deal to go abroad if you're content. I think you're right about a the reasons a lot of people go abroad, cause I sure as hell didn't know what I was doing there in the first months of endless meaningless partying.

[lethal]

Oh, so many conversations are ruined when someone opens their mouth and says, "When I lived in...."

Like, I get that it was a cool experience, *I* would think it's cool if I had lived it. But please, move on to other subjects. I can only listen to someone's thoughts on Eastern European musical trends for so long. The worst are people who lived overseas for 1-3 months as students or whatever. It's like the pinnacle of their lives and it's all they talk about. Also, they became experts on the culture in that amount of time. Hate.

I don't have much a coping method for when people get really obnoxious about their travels ("things were sooooooooo much better in..."), but when it's friends, it's helpful to understand that it *was* a big deal for them and they will be using it as a basis for comparisons to the "homeland." And they're probably not judging you, and if they are, just remind yourself that take away the trip to Spain, and they're just like you.

Hey, didn't I do that sometimes? :frown:

[rice cracker]

Hey, didn't I do that sometimes? :frown:

Aw, I don't remember you bringing up anything that wasn't germane to the conversation.

[mrcfo]

I think the longer you spend abroad the less exciting it is and more cynical you become. I went to Taiwan the same time a friend went to France, and we'd talk about how unglamorous living abroad really was and the longer you're there the more life becomes very normal and you're just like anywhere else, except with very superficial friendships. After awhile it was just the daily grind and rat race like anywhere else. Plus I'm not the type that's happy with going clubbing and being stupid in another country. I was fortunate to have good friends nearby in Hong Kong to see every few months. If it wasn't for getting to know my family more there, I wouldn't have been worth the sacrifices I made to go there now that I look back.

I talked about Taiwan non-stop for about the first five days, but I was going through major major re-entry shock. When you're gone for awhile you forget that you don't have to run in a panic to cross the street because cars stop for people here and such and I was aghast that I had to go through a metal detector to go to my bank in LA to get my banking straight again.

Then I've stopped talking about it since then except with other Chinese people, and we're discussing things like politics, economy, and social issues we care about as Chinese people as opposed "Wow people live differently somewhere else!." I'm actually really annoyed people keep asking me about it. It's over, and while I might know a bit more about other countries and living by myself, it didn't change my life or make me a new person by any means except a disturbing new habit of buying cute things I don't need.

My friend had been to France before for a semester so of course it was fabulous with a bunch of other Americans, but going alone to grad school was the total opposite and now she hates French people.

So in other words, it's not that big of a deal to go abroad if you're content. I think you're right about a the reasons a lot of people go abroad, cause I sure as hell didn't know what I was doing there in the first months of endless meaningless partying.

Actually interesting to note maybe is that sometimes I think these so called "globe trotting returnees" suffer from a bout of "heading home depression/syndrome". They spend a 2 or so careless years roaming the "unknown/last frontiers" and now they have to settle back down at home in a mundane sort of state.

The thing that really pisses me off is their mindset has changed, somewhat like oh shit, now I've did a stint overseas I'm now an "expat". True, granted most did work professionally in their field (most are Accountants, Radiologists and Pharmacists) but it's like their experience was describe like some globe trotting CEO or something that travelled overseas because their job actually required them to.

In all of the ones I know, it was out of personal choice to leave the country in the first place. The thing though is they get super annoyed if you place their experience like some sort of "gap year" in between school or work or tried to suggest maybe the whole

Furthermore, maybe deep down they do get pissed on the other side of the coin that no one back home really cares about their travels and few would really like to listen/know. So perhaps they behave like their some cosomopolitan god/godess walking around and oh "I'm so worldly". They try to think and act as if this whole experience has taught them a shitload about life, independence and everything in between.

It's like they've absorbed and applied the great things about other cultures in their daily lives, they've changed for the good in more aspects than one...and now their life is somewhat permanently morphed them into a better person in doing so. Now they've suddenly become more "cosmopolitan" from this point forward in their everyday lives....

As you've metioned, yep, it's true, after a while when the novelty factor wears off, everyone has to go to work, earn some sort of a living and whilst yes, London is great to use as a travel base, you can really only do so much travel ...some actually complained about being on a plane too often and got sick of "yeah great here's the Eiffel tower for the 50th time". I mean sure, you did do some travelling between your work ....but so did I back home. Second argument was they party hard and meet new people, COULDN'T I DO THIS ALSO BACK HOME???

I mean in all honestly, it's great you travelled, but puhlease don't make it out as if you're some 30 yr old jet bound "expat" executive. Ironically if anything, the more cosomopolitan expats I know of seem much less ethusiatic to broadcast their travel experiences...etc. and seem much easier to talk and get along with.

The final thing I queried them was this, one day I'm going to travel to Europe too on a tour or something, they laughed that this was not the "same" and you really needed more than a measely "two months" to absorb the food, culture and fashion. Again, ironic how most spent the majority of their time in London either in the office, lab, at a club or at home anyway!!!

[ahsingjai]

usually when my friends' travel, I get daily text messages of what happen or what's going on. Then when it comes back, it's a semi-reenactment of the stories. As long as they bring back something from where ever they went, I'm ok with the yapping. Oh of course it has to happen at a bar where I can have a drink.

[applehead]

i love hearing travel stories from friends.
it's probably because i don't travel.
but i find it entertaining.
and pictures. i like it when they share.

[CBC guy]

Speaking of which... I'm actually overseas as we speak! (in China)

No I won't bore you with my stories since you all seem so bitter about the whole thing.

Travel is but one of my conversation topics, not my ONLY conversation topic