wedding costs

[VV o n g B a]

was thinking about this b/c of the weddings i've been attending lately. i don't know how applicable this is to other asians, but i know that traditional chinese weddings are supposed to be footed by the groom's family.

do u guys know if this is still typical in asian american weddings? i know my cousin got married (in houston) and the groom's family footed the bill, but her side put in the downpayment for a new house. it seemed an equitable gift exchange.

but another couple i know had the groom's family foot the bill AND pay a dowry and the bride's side didn't pay for anything (in nyc). she got a 1.8k ring, wasn't satisfied b/c it wasn't a 2k and made the groom buy her a rolly to make up for it. i used to know the bride and couldn't believe she'd act this way or accept it even if it were offered. does that seem reasonable in this day and age or should the groom have slapped her to the curb?

me and a friend were livid at the bride when we heard about this but i was wondering if other ppl had seen this much or if this is atypical behavior. i mean... a dowry? are u fucking serious?

[Craig]

The groom should have slapped her to the curb. Just because something is typical or common doesn't mean it's righteous or decent.

[Arex]

was thinking about this b/c of the weddings i've been attending lately. i don't know how applicable this is to other asians, but i know that traditional chinese weddings are supposed to be footed by the groom's family.

do u guys know if this is still typical in asian american weddings? i know my cousin got married (in houston) and the groom's family footed the bill, but her side put in the downpayment for a new house. it seemed an equitable gift exchange.

but another couple i know had the groom's family foot the bill AND pay a dowry and the bride's side didn't pay for anything (in nyc). she got a 1.8k ring, wasn't satisfied b/c it wasn't a 2k and made the groom buy her a rolly to make up for it. i used to know the bride and couldn't believe she'd act this way or accept it even if it were offered. does that seem reasonable in this day and age or should the groom have slapped her to the curb?Of course he should've kicked her to the curb. The ring is a gift. Anyone who whines that a perfectly decent gift isn't good enough doesn't deserve the gift in the first place. It's not like he got her a cubic or something. (Actually, hopefully he did, and a fake Rolex to boot!)

Regarding who pays for a wedding, I'm not exactly a traditionalist. When I got married, I paid for the wedding out of my own savings, but that's primarily because (1) we didn't want to burden our parents and didn't want them involved in the planning; and (2) my wife to be was in school at the time, otherwise I like to think she would've chipped in. We weren't trying to follow any particular tradition, although we were aware that there is an American tradition and there's an Asian tradition.

When my brother married a JA woman, I believe her family footed the bill for most of the wedding, presumably following American tradition, although I think my parents helped out a little bit.

If you ask me, the concept of dowry, at least to the extent I understand it, makes no sense in modern American society. I highly doubt either this girl or her family still hold the view that women are considered property and, for that reason, her parents must be compensated for the loss of that property. However, given the stink she made about the ring, and to the extent she or her family expected that her husband or his family pay the dowry, she should be treated as property. It's only fair.

[AngryABCGirl]

When my cousin got married in Taiwan a few months back, her parents paid for most (we paid some so we could be involved in the planning) of the very expensive wedding, and my family bought them a new flat that cost even more, although it was at the same time a real estate investment on their part. The wedding was a traditional Chinese/Taiwanese wedding.

I know some Korean American friends who had dowrys negotiated for their weddings, but don't know too much about the details and were surprised Chinese people didn't have to deal with them.

I would kick that bitch to the curb in the above post. She's gonna be a spoiled ass wife.

[eos]

ugh. extravagant weddings. i guess i'm really not the fairy princess type, and i really don't want to think about what silverware goes with what, or how the napkin holders should match the color of my eyes. i watch bridezilla and platinum weddings and i told my sister to shoot me if i ever go overboard.

[LaiSteve66]

My parents got married at the courthouse. lol

[Arex]

^ My parents got hitched in Vegas without involving others. Apparently my grandmother on my mom's side was pissed because it deprived the family of the ability to recoup all of the gifts she had given out at other weddings over the years.

When my wife and I got married, we had a civil ceremony at the courthouse about a week and a half before our wedding to beat the end of the year for tax purposes. Because she was in school and wasn't earning anything, I ended up getting another couple of thousand back in my refund. We should've done that a long time ago.=P

[Adaon]

^ My parents got hitched in Vegas without involving others. Apparently my grandmother on my mom's side was pissed because it deprived the family of the ability to recoup all of the gifts she had given out at other weddings over the years.

When my wife and I got married, we had a civil ceremony at the courthouse about a week and a half before our wedding to beat the end of the year for tax purposes. Because she was in school and wasn't earning anything, I ended up getting another couple of thousand back in my refund. We should've done that a long time ago.=P

=)
I've been hearing more and more about my friends getting married sooner for tax purposes. Don't get me wrong and think they were getting married SOLELY for tax purposes, but it was a considering factor about when they got hitched. =)

After my sis got married, the bride and groom moved into a home that my sis' in-laws were previously renting out, but was given as a home for them afterwards. The wedding and ceremony were taken care of by my sister and new brother-in-law, as they did not want to involve any potential family politicking to get involved on THEIR day. I'm glad for that. I just wish I saw more of my sister after the fact. =P Haven't seen/heard from her since her wedding. Wonder if I should put up a missing sister report. Hahah. >_<

[Tao]

^ they're probably busy makin babies

[KenTsui]

wedding = just a big show