Interracial Relationships/Dating Disparity (latest discussions)

[Banana]

This is a pretty interesting experiment though it has some serious flaws in it's methodology.

http://tierneylab.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/04/13/single-female-seeking-same-race-male/

This caught my eye though.

“For equal success with an Asian woman, an African-American needs no additional income; a white man needs $24,000 less than average; a Hispanic man needs $28,000 more than average.”

The above quote implies that an Asian man needs to earn $24,000 MORE than a white man to be equally attractive to a woman of his own race?

Is this correct?

Wow, Asian men are so low on the dating hierarchy that even women of their own race aren’t interested in them.

[VV o n g B a]

yeah, i posted something that resembled this awhile ago. it just got laughed off by ppl here. i just try not to think about this anymore. at all.

[Tao]

there's a reason why ppl here laugh it off. the article is so freakin ridiculous that it's borderline racist. talk about unscientific and misleading, i'm suprised the new york times published this.

[eos]

wow...i did not know we were so cheap. no WONDER guys like us more.

[Tao]

^ yeah that's why this "article" is bull shit.

[deez nuts]

i don't see what the big deal is:

When the researchers controlled for the men’s attractiveness, they found that white, Hispanic and Asian women generally showed about the same level of same-race preference, while black women showed a significantly higher preference

our women are safe....for now.

but anyways, i'm good in the height department, very good looking, well built, very charming and soon to be rich so i'm not worried about the results of the study.

[sageb1]

So, then arranged marriages might help? :D

[BigLew]

Based off speed dating? I think this has little to do with reality.

[sageb1]

Speed arranged marriages? Isn't that called "Find a Russian Wife?"

My sense of decency is preventing me from taking advantage of women with low self-esteem. Heck, it's even hard for certain kinds of women from taking advantage of me.

Though, the article is spot-on regarding black women. They usually prefer black men. the few of them that reside in my 'hood tend to ignore me or scowl at me.

Aint no way Ima gonna talk to them.

[Golden Monkey]

According to the the site MM golfer "Michelle Wie is Dating YT".

I have never been able to access their forum but that's what they said in a headline.

So is she going to be the new hate object? Beating out Lucy Liu, Natasha Yi and Michele Malkin.

I like to keep the top 10 list of hated Asian American females up to date. :biggrin:

She's only 17 so she could dominate the list for years. She's that good!

Maybe she'll marry an AA developer or doctor. It's not always easy to maintain the winning edge for too long.

Good luck Michelle.

[lethal]

Christ, why do they care? Who cares?

[BeTheReds]

Who is YT?

[LaiSteve66]

Who is YT?

YT = Whitey.

[pikachupacabra]

haha, that gave me a laugh. whitey. yt. i get it.

[Banana]

I guess they care because she's so visable. A human billboard to advertise asian women with white men.

[yoMAMA]

haha, that gave me a laugh. whitey. yt. i get it.

haha.

that's clever.

:biggrin:

[CBC guy]

May I ask..... why is this even an issue...?

[Golden Monkey]

May I ask..... why is this even an issue...?

You have to go to the modelminority site and get into the forum.

That site has a rep for being rather bitter-centric both in the articles/comments and the forum.

I've never been allowed into the forum but the headlines give it away.

[CBC guy]

Hmm... that site seems to have a huge chip on its shoulder.

As for Wie, IMO she can date whoever the hell she wants.

[kimpossible]

You have to go to the modelminority site and get into the forum.

That site has a rep for being rather bitter-centric both in the articles/comments and the forum.

I've never been allowed into the forum but the headlines give it away.

If you're that interested in what MM folks think about Michelle Wie's date why not register there? It's their site. They can rant about it if they want. Most of the guys here aren't going to care, as you can see, and probably don't share the interest in MM.

Achtungbaby is also very open and very clear in not using YW space to hate on other AA sites.

[Golden Monkey]

Achtungbaby is also very open and very clear in not using YW space to hate on other AA sites.

Who's hating? I'm just stating fact.

[SunWuKong]

Who's hating? I'm just stating fact.

state it somewhere else - like on MM.com itself.

members can talk about other Asian American sites here, but please don't bash them. we don't want to foster animosity between Asian American sites.

[AzninDisguise]

Speaking of MM, how come my email has been banned even before i've registered. Lol

[proazn]

of course she has to date a whitey. asian guys are losers. socially inferior to the whiteys. if she dates an asian guy, that will hurt her marketing.

see tiger woods for an example.

[deez nuts]

not many asian guys can stand eye to eye with a 6'1 asian amazon. and any tall asian guy, that's good looking and with a good physique should really be dating white women.

[mzhsacramento]

not many asian guys can stand eye to eye with a 6'1 asian amazon. and any tall asian guy, that's good looking and with a good physique should really be dating white women.

Guess I'm stuck with Asian women. Shit!!!!!!!!!!

[snailpoo]

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c55/cynicalboy/giveadamn.gif

[yoMAMA]

Guess I'm stuck with Asian women. Shit!!!!!!!!!!

time for an upgrade bro!

[yoMAMA]

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c55/cynicalboy/giveadamn.gif

LOL

was gonna give you karma had they let me.

:tongue: :tongue:

[BigLew]

Here we go.

[power puff girl]

why is this even relevant? it doesn't make her any less of an asian-american, and i'm sick of all the whining by asian-american guys on this matter. if an asian-american guy was dating a white girl, you would all be celebrating it.

i'm more concerned about michelle kwan, but only because she's dating a far-right nutjob.

[Tao]

why is this even relevant? it doesn't make her any less of an asian-american, and i'm sick of all the whining by asian-american guys on this matter. if an asian-american guy was dating a white girl, you would all be celebrating it.

i'm more concerned about michelle kwan, but only because she's dating a far-right nutjob.

holy shit...for once i'm in complete agreement with you.....i never thought it would come to this. congratulations world, you win.

[pikachupacabra]

Yeesh people, here, go read this and cheer up, you're all so glum. Does this help "even" the odds?


http://dailydumpling.com/category/paradorn-srichaphan/

[Banana]

why is this even relevant? it doesn't make her any less of an asian-american, and i'm sick of all the whining by asian-american guys on this matter. if an asian-american guy was dating a white girl, you would all be celebrating it.

i'm more concerned about michelle kwan, but only because she's dating a far-right nutjob.

Who's Michelle Kwan dating?

I'm not thrilled when Asian American men marry whites either when I'm sure there is a much better Asian American woman for him.

I guess I can criticize AF/WM couples now with no negative feedback!

[Tao]

i never knew michelle kwan was a conservative..ugh

[deez nuts]

Yeesh people, here, go read this and cheer up, you're all so glum. Does this help "even" the odds?


http://dailydumpling.com/category/paradorn-srichaphan/

SUCCESS!

[lethal]

Yeesh people, here, go read this and cheer up, you're all so glum. Does this help "even" the odds?


http://dailydumpling.com/category/paradorn-srichaphan/

WIN! AT! LIFE!

[lethal]

why is this even relevant? it doesn't make her any less of an asian-american, and i'm sick of all the whining by asian-american guys on this matter. if an asian-american guy was dating a white girl, you would all be celebrating it.

i'm more concerned about michelle kwan, but only because she's dating a far-right nutjob.

Question(s). Where's any whining about it in this thread? Or on this site by regular members for that matter?

[Golden Monkey]

Who's Michelle Kwan dating?

Denver developer Christian Anschutz, son of major mogul Phil Anschutz.

Dad:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philip_Anschutz

With an estimated current net worth of around $7.8 billion, he is ranked by Forbes as the 31-richest person in the USA. :eek:

[deez nuts]

why is this even relevant? it doesn't make her any less of an asian-american, and i'm sick of all the whining by asian-american guys on this matter. if an asian-american guy was dating a white girl, you would all be celebrating it.

i'm more concerned about michelle kwan, but only because she's dating a far-right nutjob.

speaking of nutjobs ^

what? what did i do? you were all thinking it too.

crazy bitch

[Tao]

Denver developer Christian Anschutz, son of major mogul Phil Anschutz.

Dad:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philip_Anschutz

With an estimated current net worth of around $7.8 billion, he is ranked by Forbes as the 31-richest person in the USA. :eek:

damn, for that amount of money, i'd be dating YT too

[Deadpool]

Yeesh people, here, go read this and cheer up, you're all so glum. Does this help "even" the odds?


http://dailydumpling.com/category/paradorn-srichaphan/

OMFG Shes with a Non-Canadian.
Bitch is a sell out.

[Craig]

OMFG Shes with a Non-Canadian.
Bitch is a sell out.Ha Ha, those damn Canuck sellouts are the worst ...

[power puff girl]

Denver developer Christian Anschutz, son of major mogul Phil Anschutz.

Dad:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philip_Anschutz

With an estimated current net worth of around $7.8 billion, he is ranked by Forbes as the 31-richest person in the USA. :eek:

and, take a closer look at what the anschutz fortune has funded and supported:

Helped fund Amendment 2, an anti-gay ballot initiative to overturn a Colorado state law giving equal rights to gays and lesbians

Helped fund the Discovery Institute, the conservative Christian organization that researches intelligent design and denies the theory of evolution.

Supported the Media Research Council, a group responsible for nearly all indecency complaints to the FCC in 2003

Financed and distributed Christian-themed films for mass audiences through his two film production companies and ownership of much of the Regal, Edwards and United Artists theater chains. Anschutz has also advocated a desire to censor R-rated Hollywood movies by editing them digitally for re-release as PG-13 in his theaters. In addition, as a producer Anschutz required the removal of certain material related to drug use and womanizing in the 2004 film Ray because he found it objectionableAnschutz has also funded advertisements for television, billboards, and Regal Cinemas for his "For a Better Life" campaign. The campaign, while not explicitly religious, promotes "faith" and "integrity," even using Disney characters such as Shrek and Kermit the Frog.

[stonedasian]

Awww, gossip in the sports section, nice.

Can't seemed to get away from gossip thsese days, its like a culture almost, to get all up in people's business. Like the world became a one big beauty salon all of a sudden.

[Deadpool]

Ha Ha, those damn Canuck sellouts are the worst ...

U think im jokin :frown:

[proazn]

Michelle Kwan should be dating the dad instead. He will die sooner, then she can take that money and go find an asian guy with the same nose as hers.

[Craig]

Michelle Kwan should be dating the dad instead. He will die sooner, then she can take that money and go find an asian guy with the same nose as hers.You mean her face wasn't hit with a fryin pan as a kid to get that nose ?

[Tao]

^ what's with all the hate? i'd do her in a heart beat....and she's a sweet girl and blah blah blah.

[DragonKnight]

WIN! AT! LIFE!
w00t! :biggrin:

[tripostrophe]

why is this even relevant? it doesn't make her any less of an asian-american, and i'm sick of all the whining by asian-american guys on this matter. if an asian-american guy was dating a white girl, you would all be celebrating it.

i'm more concerned about michelle kwan, but only because she's dating a far-right nutjob.

:( Really??? I admire her so much...well, kind of.

[TB4000]

damn, for that amount of money, i'd be dating YT too

I may not date YT, but I'd do something for him.

[eos]

^ what's with all the hate? i'd do her in a heart beat....and she's a sweet girl and blah blah blah.

you'd do anyone WITH a heartbeat.

too easy.

but yeah, i never got why my guy friends found her hot. is it just cuz she's a got...BOOBS?

[Tao]

you'd do anyone WITH a heartbeat.

too easy.

but yeah, i never got why my guy friends found her hot. is it just cuz she's a got...BOOBS?

you don't think she's hot? i think she's pretty cute. plus ice skaters are nubile.....and no i will not do anything with a heartbeat, god!

[eos]

compared to other females that guys and i BOTH agree with are hot, she does not make that list. i don't get it. but then again, sometimes i think a girl is hot and guys don't, so goes both ways i guess.

[kimpossible]

Nevermind. Thought you were talking about Wie.

[j&j2]

It's not the fact that Wie, individually, is dating a non-Asian male that is important (in that context, there is nothing wrong with that).

However, when pretty much all of the high-profile Asian-American women are seen with WMs, in addition to all the AF/WM coupling in the media, that just reinforces the notion that Asian females prefer WMs to AMs or don't see AMs as a viable dating option.

[j&j2]

not many asian guys can stand eye to eye with a 6'1 asian amazon. and any tall asian guy, that's good looking and with a good physique should really be dating white women.

lol!!

Unfortunately (or maybe not), there is some truth to that - however, even these types of Asian males tend to be open to dating attractive Asian females.

[Banana]

Like J&J said, I think the primary concern is when you have so many Asian women serving as "billboards" promoting the AF/WM image, whites will think they were right all along to portray Asian men as asexual when even their own women don't want them.

See, this is the problem. While interracial dating among Asian women itself isn't the concern; the circumstances surrounding it is.

For example, if black women are marrying interracially at 45% like Asian American women are, it wouldn't be that much of a problem for black men because black men haven't been desexualized. If anything, they've been over sexualized.

However, the situation is different for the Asian American community because Asian men have been so desexualized that it seems the norm now for Asian women to date white men. In essence, the more of these couples exist, the more white men believe they were right to desexualize Asian men and to treat them as such. With all these high profile Asian women dating and marrying out, it just serves as a bullhorn. You got Kelly Hu (incidentally, her issue with her famous comments was the best selling issue ever), Lucy Liu, Michelle Wie, Michelle Kwan, Linda Park (from Star Trek), etc. When someone is surprised that a famous Asian woman (Grace Park) is married or dating an Asian man, you're going to have problems. Hell, not even famous Asian women. If you're surprised that an Asian American women is dating or married to an Asian man, there's going to be issues. From what I've seen, it's about a 50/50 chance it's going to be a white guy.

Granted, it's their own personal lives and they can do whatever they want but I'm wary when people don't understand the ramifications of their actions. Or worse, simplify the situation.

This is why I still believe in Julia Oh's argument that Asian women who are married to white men cannot be taken seriously when it comes to community activism. One of the main concerns of the Asian community should countering the dehumanization of Asian men and marrying white men runs contrary to that.


I do have a honest question though and I'm hoping to get more light than heat for this question.

Of all other races that I've seen, they have a reasonably small interracial dating percentage. However, I've noticed that even with these small numbers, many involved in interracial unions receive a decent amount of grief from their own demographics, both male and female.

Why isn't there the same reaction from the Asian male population? Is it because we honestly don't care? Or is it because we're so scared to say something that we just keep silent hoping that we don't look sexist and racist? To me, it doesn't sound like most of them are indifferent, it sounds like they've come to terms with their role in society and have become so demoralized that they don't even bother changing anything and Asian women don't even notice it. Have Asian women ever questioned why the gap is so large or how it affects Asian men? Or are they so focused on themselves that they don't care? Is it because the other two communities have a sense of community or kinship with the opposite sex?

My own concern for this topic involves two areas: The community's ability to grow and how it promotes and justifies the way the media and public portrays Asian men. Is art imitating life or is life imitating art?

Look, I didn't want this to come off as a "whine" post again so if it sounds like it, I apologize. It wasn't my intent. This is strictly a learning process.

[lethal]

Well, we've left the realm of sports and gone to the realm of S&H.

[SunWuKong]

Well, we've left the realm of sports and gone to the realm of S&H.

i think the thread started out as a S&H subject anyway.

[BigLew]

W...w...w....w....whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaa

[haplesshobo]

So, did Michelle Kwan ever date asians? Ever since she's been in the public eye, I aways remember her dating white guys- first that NHL hockey player and now this boyfriend du jour.

[Banana]

I personally don't care but it's kinda simplistic and careless to dismiss concern as trival.

in some respects, it's not that much different than what the media cranks out.

/shrug

My post on why it might be a concern was simply brushed aside.

[deez nuts]

lol!!

Unfortunately (or maybe not), there is some truth to that - however, even these types of Asian males tend to be open to dating attractive Asian females.

i am open to dating asian women. but, i just love the white women too much.

[kimpossible]

I personally don't care but it's kinda simplistic and careless to dismiss concern as trival.

in some respects, it's not that much different than what the media cranks out.

/shrug

My post on why it might be a concern was simply brushed aside.

I'm starting to think the only way your personal transformation to spiritual freedom can begin is through a grudge fuck.

[deez nuts]

I'm starting to think the only way your personal transformation to spiritual freedom can begin is through a grudge fuck.

like i've said throughout his whole epiphany:

three words: asian practice chick.

just take her to a hotel, take her from behind and plunge your meat pole in, grab her neck and gently bang her head against the headboard of the bed. bite on her ear and tell her that you're gonna make her your little chinky china girl while the both of you curse (even better if you both do it in mandarin) and grunt at one another with reckless abandon.

if you don't listen to me, listen to kim. she's basically a woman with a penis. her penis is probably bigger than a lot of asian guys here on yw including yours truly here.

[kimpossible]

listen to kim. she's basically a woman with a penis

What can I say. I couldn't afford to whole male-to-female operation.

[deez nuts]

What can I say. I couldn't afford to whole male-to-female operation.

inverted pouches are nasty and nasty to clean anyways.

[VV o n g B a]

inverted pouches are nasty and nasty to clean anyways.wow, that's something i've never thought about and would like never to think about again...

[Adaon]

inverted pouches are nasty and nasty to clean anyways.

I'm not sure I should have read that at anytime prior to, during, or after a mealtime. :frown:

I'm feeling lightheaded and queasy.

[deez nuts]

I'm not sure I should have read that at anytime prior to, during, or after a mealtime. :frown:

I'm feeling lightheaded and queasy.

just buy more bananas for your house.

[eos]

I'm not sure I should have read that at anytime prior to, during, or after a mealtime. :frown:

I'm feeling lightheaded and queasy.

it's ok, sai lo. *pats back*

[Flutterby]

Wow, Asian men are so low on the dating hierarchy that even women of their own race aren’t interested in them.
Learn to dance. This will put you men up near the top!!!

[Napoleon Chynamite]

Michelle Kwan should be dating the dad instead. He will die sooner, then she can take that money and go find an asian guy with the same nose as hers.

Prenuptial Agreement > Everything

[haplesshobo]

Prenuptial Agreement > Everything

You can get around the prenup by having children.

[tripostrophe]

Like J&J said, I think the primary concern is when you have so many Asian women serving as "billboards" promoting the AF/WM image, whites will think they were right all along to portray Asian men as asexual when even their own women don't want them.

See, this is the problem. While interracial dating among Asian women itself isn't the concern; the circumstances surrounding it is.

For example, if black women are marrying interracially at 45% like Asian American women are, it wouldn't be that much of a problem for black men because black men haven't been desexualized. If anything, they've been over sexualized.

However, the situation is different for the Asian American community because Asian men have been so desexualized that it seems the norm now for Asian women to date white men. In essence, the more of these couples exist, the more white men believe they were right to desexualize Asian men and to treat them as such. With all these high profile Asian women dating and marrying out, it just serves as a bullhorn. You got Kelly Hu (incidentally, her issue with her famous comments was the best selling issue ever), Lucy Liu, Michelle Wie, Michelle Kwan, Linda Park (from Star Trek), etc. When someone is surprised that a famous Asian woman (Grace Park) is married or dating an Asian man, you're going to have problems. Hell, not even famous Asian women. If you're surprised that an Asian American women is dating or married to an Asian man, there's going to be issues. From what I've seen, it's about a 50/50 chance it's going to be a white guy.

Granted, it's their own personal lives and they can do whatever they want but I'm wary when people don't understand the ramifications of their actions. Or worse, simplify the situation.

This is why I still believe in Julia Oh's argument that Asian women who are married to white men cannot be taken seriously when it comes to community activism. One of the main concerns of the Asian community should countering the dehumanization of Asian men and marrying white men runs contrary to that.


I do have a honest question though and I'm hoping to get more light than heat for this question.

Of all other races that I've seen, they have a reasonably small interracial dating percentage. However, I've noticed that even with these small numbers, many involved in interracial unions receive a decent amount of grief from their own demographics, both male and female.

Why isn't there the same reaction from the Asian male population? Is it because we honestly don't care? Or is it because we're so scared to say something that we just keep silent hoping that we don't look sexist and racist? To me, it doesn't sound like most of them are indifferent, it sounds like they've come to terms with their role in society and have become so demoralized that they don't even bother changing anything and Asian women don't even notice it. Have Asian women ever questioned why the gap is so large or how it affects Asian men? Or are they so focused on themselves that they don't care? Is it because the other two communities have a sense of community or kinship with the opposite sex?

My own concern for this topic involves two areas: The community's ability to grow and how it promotes and justifies the way the media and public portrays Asian men. Is art imitating life or is life imitating art?

Look, I didn't want this to come off as a "whine" post again so if it sounds like it, I apologize. It wasn't my intent. This is strictly a learning process.

I think i get the billboard argument, but I dunno...having people act as representatives of a race goes both ways, and in principle it's bad yeah?

Could you link to that Julia Oh article? I'd like to read it.

And I don't think that we as a community have a responsibility or possibly even the right to criticize such people as you seem to be suggesting. It seems like most of the criticism comes from AAMs who are just coming into their identity, and others for whom it serves as a huge stumbling block (I don't blame them, but at the same time, they should be helped past this stage).

I think a major problem was/is? model minority + (white) feminism = Asian (white) feminists. I've read (very) little about womanism, and other feminist movements that have the focus on women of color, but to be honest don't know too much. Seems like it's decent in terms of strength though, and a positive force.

Plus liberal individualism seems to play heavily into machismo in our society, especially around dating -- am I wrong? (If you're not getting dates, you're not trying hard enough) >> tendency to dismiss people as whining, rather than trying to support them. But at the same time, I think a lot of the "whiners" have had their sexual/masculine identity deeply racialized in terrible ways -- so I dunno.

[Banana]

http://www.mjleague.com/blog/archives/2006/11/17/sister_can_you_lend_an_ear.php

I wasn't complaining but I think the dismissive attitude about complaints is reckless.

[hooligan]

hey guys, i just wanted to let you know that michelle and i appreciate the thread about us, but can you guys leave us alone. (PS we've been dating for a while now)

[Napoleon Chynamite]

http://www.mjleague.com/blog/archives/2006/11/17/sister_can_you_lend_an_ear.php

I wasn't complaining but I think the dismissive attitude about complaints is reckless.

This dismissive attitude came about because nothing productive or constructive ever came out of these online rants. I'm pretty sure a lot of us were a lot more open to discussion until after the 40th time the topic ever came up. Perhaps if anything was ever manifested into a reality in the form of political activism that actually yielded quantifiable positive results or benefits for the APIA community because of said rants, I'd admit to being a naive dumbass this entire time.

[Faithless]

hey guys, i just wanted to let you know that michelle and i appreciate the thread about us, but can you guys leave us alone. (PS we've been dating for a while now)
You are: "Yours Truly"?

[SunWuKong]

http://www.mjleague.com/blog/archives/2006/11/17/sister_can_you_lend_an_ear.php

I wasn't complaining but I think the dismissive attitude about complaints is reckless.

i would care more if these types of threads weren't so filled with comments that essentially come from some Asian guys being bitter.

gems like:
"I like to keep the top 10 list of hated Asian American females up to date."
"of course she has to date a whitey. asian guys are losers. socially inferior to the whiteys. if she dates an asian guy, that will hurt her marketing."

these kinds of comments were new to me about 8 or 9 years ago. but unfortunately, it's been the same comments for about 8 or 9 years. they're not intelligent, and a lot of it is just hating on Asian women.

i mean, if we're talking about portrayals in popular media, i'm right there with you, buddy. but when we start lamenting who Asian female celebrities are dating, i don't really care that much. sure, i can understand why some Asian guys want to talk about it, but some of the comments that these kinds of threads (not just on this site) inevitably generate is just kind of stupid.

i know that the IR disparity issue is an important issue for many Asian Americans, but honestly, i'm just tired and bored at the way that the topic is usually presented online.

[j&j2]

While there have been a no. of articles by Asian-American females on why more Asian-Am women don't date Asian-Am men - here's one by a WM.

Racial preferences in the dating world

By Steve Penner
pennerst@hotmail.com
May 11, 2007 7:32 AM

One of the more delicate areas I dealt with while running a dating service for more than two decades was the issue of race, and more specifically racial stereotyping by prospective members.

Stereotyping in itself is a volatile issue, and at some point during intake interviews, I often repeated the phrase “While there is some truth to all stereotypes, there are certainly many exceptions to every single one.”

However, when one is dealing with a sample of more than 20,000 single, divorced, and widowed men and women, I feel confident and comfortable making certain statements in a column titled The Truth about Dating.

Yet I was still hesitant to write this column, until a reader sent me an article from The New York Times, in which the author, John Tierney, published a story about racial preferences in the dating world.

Moreover, the article cited a study titled Racial Preferences in Dating that documented the preferences of more than 400 participants in speed dating sessions at Columbia University. A quick reading of both the Times article and the Columbia study seemed to support my own anecdotal findings.

(Unfortunately while reading the Columbia study I was overcome by the academic verbiage that authors of such studies feel compelled to use. Do they teach “Boring Writing 101” at Ivy League institutions of higher learning? I found it impossible to read more than a few pages without getting a headache. Here is a sample sentence: “Rates of inter-racial marriages thus capture both preferences and socio-geographic segregation.” Huh?)

Anyway, here is what I found in 23 years of interviewing singles, and I will attempt to communicate in my best “non-academic” language. When we interviewed prospective members, we always asked what their preferences were in terms of meeting people of different races.

Overall, women of most races preferred to meet men of their own race. Most Caucasian women wanted only to meet Caucasian men, the exceptions being women who were more educated and well-traveled, who considered themselves somewhat “worldly.”

Of all the races, African-American women were the most insistent about wanting to meet only African-American men. But most of those women excluded black men who had recently moved to New England from Africa or the Caribbean.

The one major exception to the finding that women wanted to meet men of their own race was Asian women, a vast majority of whom stated that they strongly preferred meeting non-Asian men.

The primary explanation offered by most Asian women was that they wanted to be matched with tall men, and they insisted that practically all of the Asian men they knew were short. But when I would ask if they would be willing to meet an Asian man if he were tall, most would simply shake their head and say they would rather not.

And what about Indian women? To be honest the sample of Indian women who joined my dating service more than 23 years was too small to determine any general statements about them.

As for men, overall they were far more open to meeting women of other races. In fact, and I find this especially interesting, the race of women most in demand were, you guessed it, Asian women. Therefore, almost all of the Asian women in my dating service had a very high Dating Quotient.

When I asked men to explain their preferences for Asian women, many shrugged and admitted they were just extremely attracted to them. But I also believe that many of these men, consciously or subconsciously, wanted to meet women who fit the stereotype of the submissive “Geisha girl,” whose primary purpose is to entertain and please men.

Interestingly enough, though, most of the Asian women we interviewed could not have had personalities more opposite than that passive stereotype. Many had Ph.Ds., M.D.s, or law degrees, and were extremely assertive. (Especially when I tried in vain to persuade them to consider meeting Asian men!)

Unfortunately for African-American women, most of the African-American men who joined stated a strong preference for meeting either white or Asian women. Many expressed the identical view, “I don’t have to join a dating service to meet women of my own race.”

The two groups of men who were the most difficult to match (and therefore had the lowest DQ) were Asian men and Indian men. Like African men, this was especially true of Asian and Indian men who had grown up overseas and relocated to New England, usually to pursue careers either in computer science or medicine. In a few cases I could persuade women to meet men of different races, IF the men were totally “Americanized.”

Of course Asian men were difficult to match because, as I previously stated, the one group of women who did not want to meet men of their own race was Asian women.

As for Indian men, they were the hardest people to match of any group of men or women of any race. And, with so many Indian men moving into the Boston area for jobs in high tech, rarely a week passed without several inquiries from men from India or Pakistan.

One reason they were difficult to match is that only a handful of Indian women joined over the decades, compared to hundreds of Indian or Pakistani men. But another is that many women, even the self-described “worldly” ones, expressed the stereotypical belief that Indian men had antiquated views of women.

To some extent, these women were correct. For example, of all the men I spoke with who wanted to meet women much younger than themselves, the largest group was, in fact, Indian men. Many told me that it was quite common back “home” for men to date and marry women at least a decade younger than themselves. And they wondered why they could not do the same here … which further lowered their DQ.

So that is the story from my own anecdotal experiences. Again, I am sure there are exceptions to every statement I made in this column. On the other hand, if you want “scientific” proof of what I am stating, just Google and download a copy of Columbia University’s Racial Preferences in Dating study.

But I suggest that if you do, make sure you have a bottle of aspirin nearby.

http://www.seacoastonline.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070511/OPINION04/70511017/-1/OPINION05

[Banana]

The primary explanation offered by most Asian women was that they wanted to be matched with tall men, and they insisted that practically all of the Asian men they knew were short. But when I would ask if they would be willing to meet an Asian man if he were tall, most would simply shake their head and say they would rather not.

Good one.

[Napoleon Chynamite]

It's the penis size thing. Penis enlargement surgery is the key to all of your dating woes.

[Banana]

It maybe uncomfortable but it’s accurate, exceptions respected.

I'm still waiting for someone that has the balls to actually press these women and find out *exactly* why they don't want to meet Asian men.

Also, I want to point out that it's not that they want to meet non-Asian men, it's that they want to specifically meet white men. I think there is a reason why over 85% of Asian women that are married to non-Asians are white.

[Napoleon Chynamite]

It maybe uncomfortable but it’s accurate, exceptions respected.

Accurate according to whom? According to your experiences? Would you believe me if I told you that it's not accurate at all according to mine? Do you understand why statements like the one you just made could possibly piss Asian women off, even if you think they comprise "the exception"? You recently referenced 45% of all AF marriages to be outmarriages, which, going by your words for the benefit of the doubt, while a significant percentage, is not the majority. So 55% is not really the exception at all, even going by such an extreme amount.

I'm still waiting for someone that has the balls to actually press these women and find out *exactly* why they don't want to meet Asian men.

There are many possible reasons. Being whitewashed, wanting to conform or fit in, being around a lot of Asian guys that frankly are too socially inept or geeky around women which understandably would discourage her from dating any...and this is coming from an Asian guy who already considers himself geeky. I'd be more sympathetic if once again, if I noticed socially competent Asian men struggling to get dates.

Also, I want to point out that it's not that they want to meet non-Asian men, it's that they want to specifically meet white men. I think there is a reason why over 85% of Asian women that are married to non-Asians are white.

It's an article written by a white guy, in reference to an online dating site most probably frequented by white women and non-white women who are probably whitewashed or grew up around whites. I'll be honest with you, I have preferred white women for the vast majority of my life because that was what I was exposed to for the most of my upbringing, and I frankly wouldn't appreciate anybody insulting me because of my choices.

I respect your diligence and your opinions, but it just seems like even though you keep saying that you aren't complaining or you don't have a problem with this, it's all you focus on.

But if it's that important to some here, I ask that you get out of your chairs this very instant, and go out and do something about it. Something beyond posting articles and throwing up your arms on forums. Spending some time at the gym, buying a new wardrobe, and going out and dating a hot white chick doesn't cut it or accomplish anything. Talk to people about your concerns via local organizations, campus groups, etc. Align yourself with Asian women instead of merely focusing on condemning or questioning their experiences and preferences, they comprise more than half of the future bandwagon after all. Seek out others with similar sentiments, and see if you can come up with a logical and productive plan or campaign to improve the portrayal of Asians in media and the political spotlight. If you succeed I'll be more than happy to eat my words.

[Banana]

I just read your comments but I haven't replied to them yet but I was going to say that you're correct. If you recall, I've agreed with you multiple times on how Asian guys need to go out and do something.

However, I'm still trying to find the real reason behind their thinking and while you offered some explanations on why, you're still theorizing. I actually want real responses from Asian women that feel this way and I want to see if anyone can keep pressing them to find out whether it is really something we're doing wrong or if there is something wrong with them.

That's it.

I have never had any issues talking with women. For most of my life, I've dated Latinas and white girls and could qualify as a whitewashed sellout. Dating Asian women made me feel less American and honestly, it was my own insecurity because I was so concerned with how other whites viewed me.

What I'm trying to say is that it was something wrong with me but I blamed Asian girls. I wouldn't date Asian girls not because there was something wrong with them, it was something wrong with myself and my own insecurity. This is what I'm trying to find out. Is it really something Asian guys are doing wrong? Or is it because of their own insecurity?

[Napoleon Chynamite]

^ I don't think there's anything necessarily "wrong" that Asian guys as a whole are doing, but I do think that Asian upbringing in contrast with the upbringings of other cultures does tend to overfocus on academic prowess over the development of social skills, as in the vein of your perspective. Is it wrong to focus more on math than getting laid? That's up to personal preference. Insecurity due to a variety of different reasons (e.g. looking different, cultural gap, etc.) of course occurs, but again I'm not sure if that can be used to "blame" Asian males. It's all a matter of what you want. If you want a relationship, and you're not doing things to maintain good hygiene or physical health and you don't know how to carry yourself or talk to people, then yeah, you're doing something wrong. But is it wrong on a moral level? Again, up to you to decide.

The IR issue is a significant one, but like some have insinuated here, it's the approach and way it's been repeatedly brought to the table here that has turned us off and made us want to disassociate ourselves with such individuals, and also the belief that it's more the fault of the individual rather than the evil hand of whitey that he can't get ass to save his life. I mean seriously, if people would just look around you hardly have to be Brad Pitt or some hunky K-pop star to land a decent or even beautiful upstanding girl, if I may be objectifying for a moment.

There is also the media/oppression angle, but once again, while I have no problems admitting to the existence of societal circumstances giving white males the edge over asian males or other non-whites, it's hardly something to use as a scapegoat to explain or justify one's dating woes. This is why I advocate a much broader approach, because I believe that the IR issue, while a cause for concern, fits much better while addressed along with other equally important issues in the APIA quest for socio-economic equality.

[deez nuts]

Most Caucasian women wanted only to meet Caucasian men, the exceptions being women who were more educated and well-traveled, who considered themselves somewhat “worldly.”

The one major exception to the finding that women wanted to meet men of their own race was Asian women, a vast majority of whom stated that they strongly preferred meeting non-Asian men.

and i reiterate:

and any tall asian guy, that's good looking and with a good physique should really be dating white women.

oh and add successful to my above list too.

[Banana]

^ I don't think there's anything necessarily "wrong" that Asian guys as a whole are doing, but I do think that Asian upbringing in contrast with the upbringings of other cultures does tend to overfocus on academic prowess over the development of social skills, as in the vein of your perspective. Is it wrong to focus more on math than getting laid? That's up to personal preference. Insecurity due to a variety of different reasons (e.g. looking different, cultural gap, etc.) of course occurs, but again I'm not sure if that can be used to "blame" Asian males. It's all a matter of what you want. If you want a relationship, and you're not doing things to maintain good hygiene or physical health and you don't know how to carry yourself or talk to people, then yeah, you're doing something wrong. But is it wrong on a moral level? Again, up to you to decide.

The IR issue is a significant one, but like some have insinuated here, it's the approach and way it's been repeatedly brought to the table here that has turned us off and made us want to disassociate ourselves with such individuals, and also the belief that it's more the fault of the individual rather than the evil hand of whitey that he can't get ass to save his life. I mean seriously, if people would just look around you hardly have to be Brad Pitt or some hunky K-pop star to land a decent or even beautiful upstanding girl, if I may be objectifying for a moment.

There is also the media/oppression angle, but once again, while I have no problems admitting to the existence of societal circumstances giving white males the edge over asian males or other non-whites, it's hardly something to use as a scapegoat to explain or justify one's dating woes. This is why I advocate a much broader approach, because I believe that the IR issue, while a cause for concern, fits much better while addressed along with other equally important issues in the APIA quest for socio-economic equality.

Point taken.

This is why I wanted to make a site, with it's own domain name, dedicated to this particular topic minus the asshattery. I think it'll do more good than what's been posted on forums.

[justabelle]

Just wanted to add my 2 cents...

If you check out page 49 of the pdf file that the article refers to:

bc.edu/ec-j/semf2006/Hort.pdf

... you will also see a section on how much money it would take for an Asian guy to date out of his race. According to the chart, it is not feasible for an Asian man to want to date a white woman (this is opposite to what I see in real life). Compared to Hispanic women, an Asian woman would have to make $43,000 more money for the Asian guy to want to date her. That is why I would take the article with a grain of salt.

[nameless]

However, I'm still trying to find the real reason behind their thinking and while you offered some explanations on why, you're still theorizing. I actually want real responses from Asian women that feel this way and I want to see if anyone can keep pressing them to find out whether it is really something we're doing wrong or if there is something wrong with them.

What makes you think these responses aren't real? Of all the things I've read and seen online, and in legit research projects, these are the same responses that keep popping up. I think this is simply what they believe. Sure, it's ignorant, but that doesn't mean these aren't genuine answers.

But let's say you keep 'pressing them' to find out the truth. What is a real answer you are looking for and what will you do once you know it?

[Tao]

But let's say you keep 'pressing them' to find out the truth. What is a real answer you are looking for and what will you do once you know it?

totally agree with nameless here. you're not gonna find some mind shattering or ground breaking answer if you keep asking these women. they'll either give you 1) reiterations of stereotypes, or 2) based on a previous bad experiences. either way, asian women aren't more enlightened than anyone else that give you explanations for the dating disparity. they buy into that shit just as much....they're ppl, they have flaws.

in terms of improving the asian male's image, a "real answer" doesn't help, it makes no difference. Who you are is who you are. The point is, you're gonna be trying to improve your self image in all aspects, clothes, working out, getting that new job with the better pay, being more courteous and laughing off the small things, those are the qualities that'll free you from the ball and chain of these stereotypes. It pretty much just depends on your willingness to put these things into action.

Does it suck that us asian guys have to go outta our way to improve on these things just so we can be on a even playing field as joe sixpack? yeah definitely. But hey, blacks in this country have to deal with the stereotype that they're all a bunch of dumb criminals...so we all have our challenges.

hell i'm trying to do that now. improve my social skills, step out of my comfort zone and talk to ppl. be more confident in who i am, go to the gym, get some decent clothes..and just not stressing over ignorant shit that others would say on occasion. and you know what the more i improve on these qualities, the easier it is for me to take the next step.

[eos]

lock them in a windowless room with no artificial light until they give you a good reason.

[kimpossible]

Yo, Banana... I've come to accept that you're stuck in this gear but I want you to please consider something. I come from a family where everyone is a white/Asian couple for a few generations.

There's no way any of us could provide anyone with an explanation for why we married who we married. Even if pressed. Perhaps I'm just so used to it that it's normalized for me and I do take that into consideration. But the Asian women you cite in the survey are only the survey takers. Have you considered the distinct possibility that perhaps... perhaps that the women who are taking this survey and state a preference for non-Asians DO NOT represent the average Asian woman?

Stick you finger in a socket and you're probably going to find electricity - know what I'm saying? The 'online' element and celebrity element might greatly be skewing perception that the subjects of focus are not great representatives of the average or whole.

Plus, I got $20 that says you'll drop all this as soon as you hook up with a girl.

[Dimeron]

First, it is speed dating, which means a lot of it is based on shallow physical characteristics. Which is to say, how much the men make, and how good looking the guy is. Asians are not exactly stereotyped to be good in the look department.

Secondly, the measurement is average. There are women who are open to Asian male or men of all races and the whole “more or less earning thing” certainly does not apply.

However, we all know there are a lot of women (of all races) who wouldn't touch an Asian guy with a 5 feet pole. Throw a few of those in there who basically only pick an Asian guy if he's a multi millionaire or at least making 6 figure salaries, it severally screws the statistics.

A much better measurement would be to determine within certain economic brackets of men, what are the racial preferences by the women. I would imagine in the higher brackets, most women wouldn’t even care if the man is green or blue.

IMO, while it is harder for us AM to find dates, but not that hard. And lets be honest, if a women only dates because you make 28,000 more than her ex white boyfriend, she’s not really worth it.

[j&j2]

Accurate Accurate according to whom? According to your experiences? Would you believe me if I told you that it's not accurate at all according to mine? Do you understand why statements like the one you just made could possibly piss Asian women off, even if you think they comprise "the exception"? You recently referenced 45% of all AF marriages to be outmarriages, which, going by your words for the benefit of the doubt, while a significant percentage, is not the majority. So 55% is not really the exception at all, even going by such an extreme amount.

About 40% of US born Asian women outmarry to whites - for US born Asian males, it's about 20%.

Whatever the nos. are for US born (or raised) Asian women who are "open" to dating/marrying whites, as opposed to exclusively dating/marrying whites - the latter is, at the very least, as significant minority - enough where there have been numerous articles (by non-AMs) on the topic and where it has been talk show fodder.


Accurate There are many possible reasons. Being whitewashed, wanting to conform or fit in, being around a lot of Asian guys that frankly are too socially inept or geeky around women which understandably would discourage her from dating any...and this is coming from an Asian guy who already considers himself geeky. I'd be more sympathetic if once again, if I noticed socially competent Asian men struggling to get dates.

AMs who are tall, good-looking, socially charming, etc. are, nevertheless, going to be shut-out from meeting many of the AFs thru the service that Steve Penner offers. How is it any less wrong when certain AFs seemingly stereotype all AMs as "undesireables"?

While geeky/dorky AMs seem to often default to/blame their race as the reason why they have a hard time w/ the opposite sex (otoh, it's not like they see many portrayals of handsome AMs getting the girl in the media - so it's somewhat understandable why they do so) rather than their own geekiness or social ineptitude - let's face it, geeky/dorky, socially inept WMs have it easier (and often w/ a no. of AFs) than geeky/dorky, socially inept WMs, simply b/c they aren't Asian.

But this isn't the most important aspect of this issue - the fact that there are, at the very least, a significant % of (primarily US born/raised) AFs who don't see AMs as an option (as if there were no tall, good-looking AMs w/ a killer physique), is (along w/ geeky AMs who blame their race) a by-product of low-self esteem/identity (or even "self-hate") that a significant % of Asian-Americans seem to have.

It's an article written by a white guy, in reference to an online dating site most probably frequented by white women and non-white women who are probably whitewashed or grew up around whites. I'll be honest with you, I have preferred white women for the vast majority of my life because that was what I was exposed to for the most of my upbringing, and I frankly wouldn't appreciate anybody insulting me because of my choices.

While your environment/media upbringing may explain your "preferences" or bias - it doesn't necessarily excuse it.

Would a white supremacist/racist or other bigot be excused for having a racist ideology simply b/c that's what he/she had been brought up with?

I, too, grew up in a very white community - only other non-family minorities in my HS were 1 EAM, 1 desi male and 1 BF (the adopted daughter of a white family) - and grew up w/ the "white male" mindset - which is that all women: white, asian, desi, black, etc. are potential dating partners (and this mindset, at the very least, is bit more fair).

Plus, BFs, for instance, who grew up in predominantly white neighborhoods, don't seem to have nearly the same level of exclusion for BMs that their Asian counterparts have for AMs (even the half-white/half-black females).

The funny thing is that AFs who "normally" don't date AMs (based on my experience and of some other AMs) will often date a particular type of AM - tall, good-looking, ex jock/fratboy type w/ predominantly white friends.

But the catch is - they don't consider you really Asian and the fact that you are an "honorary white" is what gets you past the Asian male exclusion (pretty whack, huh?).

[deez nuts]

this thread makes me hate asian women.

[Deadpool]

This thread is funny.
I have nothing to add.
I just came back from an appointment and on the way home I saw a hot Gwai mui making out with a Chinese dude at a bus stop.
I guess he wins at life or something.

[Banana]

I was reading Gene Yang's "American Born Chinese" (I recommend this book to everyone because it specifically teaches about self hate and the superiority attitude ABCs have against FOBs) and he added an interesting quote on why his mother married his father.

"My mother had the choice of any man that was in graduate school but he picked the thickest glasses because thick glasses mean lots of studying. Lots of studying means a good work ethic. A good work ethic means a good degree. A good degree means a good job. A good job means a good salary. A good salary means a man that can take care and provide for his family."

"I was never allowed to date until after I got my master's degree."

Nowadays, women have just as great an opportunity to be independent. Therefore, old school immigrant roles and beliefs don't apply anymore. The fact of the matter is that Asian men have shunned social skills, because of their parents, to get a good job though hard studies. By that time, they're in their mid and late twenties and have never developed any social skills at all.

To be completely frank, women don't have to have social skills to get a man because men are the ones that take the lead and ask the women out. All they have to do is sit there and express some interest.

Combine this with media stereotypes and this is the result you get. I've found Asian parents to be part of the problem.

1.) Asian women marrying out is tolerated more than when an Asian son marries out. It's almost like Asian men are locked in a cage to urged to marry an Asian women. This is funny because it's essentually self sabotaging because the more Asian women marry out, the less Asian women will be around for Asian men. Logic, not so easy.

2.) Asian parents push education at the cost of social and dating skills.

The fact is that Asian men need to change. Praise be to Buddha when he uttered the following phrase: "Everything changes. Nothing exists without change."

Change or be phased out. Also, Kim, while I put your opinion in the highest regard and agree that they might not represent the average Asian woman, the same could be said for statistics but statistics are often a decent way to gauge a demographic's action.

[thaite]

Using a different train of thought, maybe the expectation of success and earning is higher for Asian males, that they be MBA's, Dr.s and lawyers etc, and thusly, failure to meet the expectation of a high standard of success is perceived as a failure to live up to one's potential. Higher expectation for Asian males means average performance on the scale of the bigger cultural picture is substandard on the Asian scale.

[Paradox]

If this is true then AA males are completely fucked up :). I don't know..in some ways I think it's true but in some ways I think it's B.S. Trying to correlate salary rates with an attractiveness scale seems like bullshit.

I'm an enormous slacker but I didn't have extraordinary problems in getting dates. Hell, I even looked and dressed like a scrub in H.S. and college but I still pulled it off. Shrug. I think it's all statistics. If you have a personality then these things are flexible.

[LaiSteve66]

^^ So that's why we don't have this IR disparity problem in Houston. It all makes sense now.

[eos]

i went to an asian improv show yesterday with a whole bunch of asians. i can't count the af/wm couples i saw. and the guys were fugly and/or old while the girls were hot. i stared them down as they walked by. i wanted to punch them all in the reproductive parts.
as more and more people came to line up, and more females appeared, i bet their heads and eyes wanted to explode.

[monkeygone2]

^lol Was that at SFN?
http://www.stirfridaynight.org/

[eos]

actually it was put on by them..."premature infatuation". hilarious.
when the asian guy started singing about wanting a white girl cuz he wants to brag to his friends, i immediately thought about the guys on here. too bad y'all couldn't have seen it. they are one of 2 asian-american comedy troupes going to ny though.

[SunWuKong]

Nowadays, women have just as great an opportunity to be independent. Therefore, old school immigrant roles and beliefs don't apply anymore. The fact of the matter is that Asian men have shunned social skills, because of their parents, to get a good job though hard studies. By that time, they're in their mid and late twenties and have never developed any social skills at all.

these generalisations about Asian parents is one thing i'll never understand because i never experienced it. maybe it's true, and maybe it's not. but regardless, i know plenty of Asian kids that grew up rebellious to what their parents had to say. contraray to what popular media tells us, Asian guys are not all socially awkward nerds that study too hard. the ivy league schools and schools in the same quality range like to accept kids who have done extracurricular activities, and just speaking as someone who took a shit look of extracurriculars in high school, i can safely say that most of them are very social activities.

To be completely frank, women don't have to have social skills to get a man because men are the ones that take the lead and ask the women out. All they have to do is sit there and express some interest.

huh? it takes social skills to take the lead and ask women out? shit, man, i've seen enough of the dating scene to know this is not true. it helps, but you don't need social skills for a woman to be attracted to you. and once she is attracted to you, you can ask her out like a bumbling idiot and she'd still say yes. shit, sometimes she doesn't even have to be physically attracted to you. sometimes you just need to show some initiative.

1.) Asian women marrying out is tolerated more than when an Asian son marries out. It's almost like Asian men are locked in a cage to urged to marry an Asian women. This is funny because it's essentually self sabotaging because the more Asian women marry out, the less Asian women will be around for Asian men. Logic, not so easy.

Ok, but i've also heard the opposite from Asian women that complain about their parents - that their brothers were given more freedom because they were boys, including freedom to date whom they want, but the girls in the family were not allowed to date or only allowed to date guys of their own ethnicity. i really can't confirm either side of the story from my own experienced.

[TB4000]

I think society has basically become conditioned to not bat an eye when white guys date asian chicks. It's a norm, same as white guys dating white chicks. Now reverse the role, and suddenly it's "whoa..."

[Banana]

It's accepted because as long as the white male population doesn't seem to be "losing," everything is accepted. However, if 50% of Asian men were dating whites (as opposed to 50% of Asian women now), you'd have a near riot on your hands. There was an article on ColorQ that observed how many white men who are with Asian women disapprove of Asian men dating white women.

Another thing I wanted to add that contributes to the high outmarriage/dating rate is that Asian women don't give preference between Asian men or white men whereas other races prefer their own first but might be open to dating anyone.

This is why, Kim, that I put alot of weight on that dating sites' findings. While you might disagree that these Asian women represent the majority, it's hard to disagree with the findings that other women prefer their own whereas Asian women do not.

[kimpossible]

Well, I'm all out of cards to play. Part of me rolls my eyes at the idea of the online study qualifying as empirical evidence and the other part would be largely based on anecdotal, family and friends.

Possibly BeTheReds would be the one guy on here that would really know what I mean but - and this is just what I believe - there's a certain limited segment of Asian woman that go balls out for white guys. They are more visible but not necessarily more by absolute numbers.

I push this point for a few reasons. You may or may not understand why.

The first is that I hate to see the guys at odds with the gals because of the rotten apples. The second is that I hate dealing with asiaphiles that feel validated by articles that seemingly prove Asian females prefer white males across the board. The last is I, yes - me, think it's rather a misogynist approach to Asian women. And I don't mean you personally but I feel that when you (the generic plural you) add up the focus and factors of 'studying' the so-called trend it's degrading towards Asian women. I'm sure I take some of it personally because of my circumstance. I don't like to see them equated as essentially whitecock chasing whores neutering Asian men.

I wrote a ginormous post a few years ago about why Asian female/White male couples are more socially acceptable to whites. I still feel the roots have to do with colonialism, military occupation, patriarchy, assimilation and the dominant culture's fascination with romanticizing it.

Turning back to you, you seem to want closure. Definition. Concrete explanations. Which is understandable but I think you're looking at the wrong source. You're holding Asian women solely responsible and if anything, how on earth do you think non-white women have had that much control over society? I would venture that most politicized ethnically Asian females would question any guy with China doll motives. Look at the YW gals. Even Whitey McWhite me is married to a 1.5er. Look at akane. AF/WM couples piss her off. I can't think of a single one of the regulars that are dating anything but Asian guys.

To boil it down to one thing so we can continue a dialogue I would ask you 1) What Asian women do you plan on getting to explain their reasons to you? 2) What makes you think they know why?

I think I know why. No shit. I really do. But I also think it has to be put in context of many, many things. To hold them singularly responsible is not reasonable in my opinion. I hope that provides you with a richer explanation on why I'm more tenacious on this.

[yoMAMA]

I know a fob guy in college (he was a typical nerdy chinese guy with coke bottle glasses) and thick chinese accent.

he married an (average looking) white woman after getting his masters degree in IT and together they have a beautiful "hapa" daughter.

getting a white woman ain't that hard, getting a hot white woman, on the other hand...

[yoMAMA]

Well, I'm all out of cards to play. Part of me rolls my eyes at the idea of the online study qualifying as empirical evidence and the other part would be largely based on anecdotal, family and friends.

Possibly BeTheReds would be the one guy on here that would really know what I mean but - and this is just what I believe - there's a certain limited segment of Asian woman that go balls out for white guys. They are more visible but not necessarily more by absolute numbers.

I push this point for a few reasons. You may or may not understand why.

The first is that I hate to see the guys at odds with the gals because of the rotten apples. The second is that I hate dealing with asiaphiles that feel validated by articles that seemingly prove Asian females prefer white males across the board. The last is I, yes - me, think it's rather a misogynist approach to Asian women. And I don't mean you personally but I feel that when you (the generic plural you) add up the focus and factors of 'studying' the so-called trend it's degrading towards Asian women. I'm sure I take some of it personally because of my circumstance. I don't like to see them equated as essentially whitecock chasing whores neutering Asian men.

I wrote a ginormous post a few years ago about why Asian female/White male couples are more socially acceptable to whites. I still feel the roots have to do with colonialism, military occupation, patriarchy, assimilation and the dominant culture's fascination with romanticizing it.

Turning back to you, you seem to want closure. Definition. Concrete explanations. Which is understandable but I think you're looking at the wrong source. You're holding Asian women solely responsible and if anything, how on earth do you think non-white women have had that much control over society? I would venture that most politicized ethnically Asian females would question any guy with China doll motives. Look at the YW gals. Even Whitey McWhite me is married to a 1.5er. Look at akane. AF/WM couples piss her off. I can't think of a single one of the regulars that are dating anything but Asian guys.

To boil it down to one thing so we can continue a dialogue I would ask you 1) What Asian women do you plan on getting to explain their reasons to you? 2) What makes you think they know why?

I think I know why. No shit. I really do. But I also think it has to be put in context of many, many things. To hold them singularly responsible is not reasonable in my opinion. I hope that provides you with a richer explanation on why I'm more tenacious on this.

Good points.

It’s a complex issue that easy explanations just don't do it justice.

Personally, I love my asian sistas.

[deez nuts]

I know a fob guy in college (he was a typical nerdy chinese guy with coke bottle glasses) and thick chinese accent.

he married an (average looking) white woman after getting his masters degree in IT and together they have a beautiful "hapa" daughter.


he lucked out. an average looking white woman can probably do better than a fob nerdy chinese guy with thick glasses in terms of looks.

getting a hot white woman, on the other hand...

isn't that difficult either.

[kimpossible]

Prostate exams don't count as a date.





That sets it up perfectly for you. I'm expecting an amusing retort. Don't disappoint. You need me more than I need you.

[Banana]

Speaking of which, someone just sent me this link today.

http://singleasianmale.com/?p=298

[deez nuts]

Prostate exams don't count as a date.





That sets it up perfectly for you. I'm expecting an amusing retort. Don't disappoint. You need me more than I need you.

it counts when i buy myself an extra value meal and i trickle while giving myself a prostate exam in the shower afterwards.

i love you! errr myself.

[kimpossible]

Oh yes, let's blame Asian dads. They're all abusive and it's their fault. Since I'm calling bullshit on that I will pony up my own explanation in the next 36 hours. Have to gear up for a season marathon of 24 on my PSP first. I wanna be Jack Bauer.

[kimpossible]

it counts when i buy myself an extra value meal and i trickle while giving myself a prostate exam in the shower afterwards.

i love you! errr myself.

Five things that smell thread. Your fingers. Post it.

[deez nuts]

Five things that smell thread. Your fingers. Post it.

i soap up my fingers before i plunge in.

[Napoleon Chynamite]

Hey, to all the people that are still bitching and whining about IR and talking about how AFs are living the high life whereas AMs are eating shit all day. What the fuck are you guys still doing here? Winning arguments with me is not going to do jack crap. So you're pissed because whitey is boning your women. What, short of running away to Asia, are you going to do about it? Tell me, I'd really like to know. If you can't answer this question immediately, because you have to find time to formulate some type of response to justify your lack of productive action, none of us want to hear it.

[Napoleon Chynamite]

This thread is funny.
I have nothing to add.
I just came back from an appointment and on the way home I saw a hot Gwai mui making out with a Chinese dude at a bus stop.
I guess he wins at life or something.

Liar. That shit never happens.

[Napoleon Chynamite]

^ Are you trying to say that Asian men can get dates? Cause if so I think you're full of shit.

[Paradox]

Hey, to all the people that are still bitching and whining about IR and talking about how AFs are living the high life whereas AMs are eating shit all day. What the fuck are you guys still doing here? Winning arguments with me is not going to do jack crap. So you're pissed because whitey is boning your women. What, short of running away to Asia, are you going to do about it? Tell me, I'd really like to know. If you can't answer this question immediately, because you have to find time to formulate some type of response to justify your lack of productive action, none of us want to hear it.
What brought about this rant anyways? Most people in this thread aren't talking about the IR dating issue and only a few members with sub 50 postcounts have bothered to bring it up.

Maybe it's "running away" to Asia for you but I for one am glad that I left America. :) It's not just the Asian-American baggage but everything else associated with the U.S. as well.

[eos]

i concur. i have formulated the correct equations:

af/wm--girl is hot, guy is not(and is usually really creepy, leering at other af)
am/wf---guy is hot, girl is not(or is average and considered dateable)

case closed.

[Napoleon Chynamite]

^

What brought about this rant anyways?

Repeated rants about the same old shit on this forum and others, in case you haven't noticed. I want to see these people who are as passionate about this issue as they seem online be just as passionate in real life. We can agree to disagree re: the topic itself, but if they aren't doing jackshit to help change the representation of Asians in society then I have a hard time feeling sympathy. Furthermore, my problem is also that these people are actually making us lose progress in that they cause further disunity within the APIA community and make the AM image, ironically, even worse. If they can show me results I will gladly eat my own words and call myself an asswipe.

[eos]

look, CHUMPS, let a girl break it down for y'all:

no money, no honey.

don't matter what color YOU are, or what color she is. it's all about the benjamins, bitches. now WORK.

[Napoleon Chynamite]

^ That's because asian chicks will go for any white guy no matter what he looks like, whereas a white chick will only go for an asian guy if he's goodlooking.

*bawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwlllll*

[yoMAMA]

look, CHUMPS, let a girl break it down for y'all:

no money, no honey.

don't matter what color YOU are, or what color she is. it's all about the benjamins, bitches. now WORK.

you don't get paid,

you don't get laid.

:wink: :wink:

[Paradox]

^



Repeated rants about the same old shit on this forum and others, in case you haven't noticed. I want to see these people who are as passionate about this issue as they seem online be just as passionate in real life. We can agree to disagree re: the topic itself, but if they aren't doing jackshit to help change the representation of Asians in society then I have a hard time feeling sympathy. Furthermore, my problem is also that these people are actually making us lose progress in that they cause further disunity within the APIA community and make the AM image, ironically, even worse. If they can show me results I will gladly eat my own words and call myself an asswipe.
While I don't agree with a lot of the more vitriolic rants about IR dating and such they do have a point at times. It's hard to focus on other AA issues when the most divisive issues aren't resolved first. It's sort of like every other AA seminar i've been to. The guest speaker will invariably be someone who doesn't want to touch fully on the subject because of how volatile it is.

Frankly, AA's in general seem to me like a lost cause in more ways than one. I'm being honest here that culturally and socially AA's are a basketcase. It's pretty difficult to affect change or make your situation known when you're hovering around a very fragmented 5% of the population. There's also a large portion of that 5% who probably don't care or who are so conditioned by American society that they can't. That's just the brutal truth of the matter.

[Napoleon Chynamite]

^ I think the population percentage argument is a poor excuse for those too caught up in their own personal issues to do nothing. Especially if you take into consideration of Asia's rising influence in the political and economic global arenas and that the percentage is higher in many larger cities. And yeah, there is a lot of ignorance and apathy among AA's here in the U.S.... What, so people can't press for more awareness and education? Apathy and ignorance aren't final states that nobody can get out of no matter how much brainwashing has occurred in the past. There's always something that can be done either way, whether it be for the worse or better.

[SunWuKong]

alright, i've merged some threads into one. please keep your IR discussions here because they all eventually talk about the same thing regardless of how the thread started out as what Asian woman is dating what white guy and things like that.

[yoMAMA]

I think we Asian Americans have potentials to have the best of both worlds:

Understanding both east and west, Asia and America. Because most of our community are new or first generation immigrants, our look of the world are often global.

Maybe I’m delusional, but I love being Asian American.

Sure, there's problems like IR dating disparity, lack of media representation, racism...etc.

but the perks far out weights the disadvantages IMO.

[New Kid]

Hey guys,

Nice to be here.. A new asian men/XF chat forum up. Check it out, sign up, participate and give feedback. New members needed. :cool: :cool: :cool:

PROAZN.COM[/SIZE][/B]

Thanks!

www.proazn.com

[New Kid]

Hey guys,

Nice to be here.. A new asian men/white female chat forum up. Check it out, sign up, participate and give feedback. New members needed. :cool: :cool: :cool:

PROAZN.COM

Thanks!

[nameless]

While I don't agree with a lot of the more vitriolic rants about IR dating and such they do have a point at times. It's hard to focus on other AA issues when the most divisive issues aren't resolved first. It's sort of like every other AA seminar i've been to. The guest speaker will invariably be someone who doesn't want to touch fully on the subject because of how volatile it is.

Yeah, I definitely noticed this in the AsAm classes I took in college. It's a shame, but what are you gonna do? Most guys aren't smart enough to discuss it intelligently, and most women won't recognize the truth anyway.

Frankly, AA's in general seem to me like a lost cause in more ways than one. I'm being honest here that culturally and socially AA's are a basketcase. It's pretty difficult to affect change or make your situation known when you're hovering around a very fragmented 5% of the population. There's also a large portion of that 5% who probably don't care or who are so conditioned by American society that they can't. That's just the brutal truth of the matter.

karma for the basketcase insight, even though i think i already did that in another thread lol

[tripostrophe]

Ugh so what's the solution?

[tripostrophe]

Maybe...

People should stop seeing each other as straw(wo)men. I'm guilty of this too, but...anyone seen the transactional vs. transformational model for social justice? I think I have the paper somewhere, and I'll try and find it + post it up. Basically, we can go into it as allies, or view each other as enemies and die to infighting. Not to say that we can't be critiquing and saying what needs to be said...but our end goal should be to teach, understand, work together...not debate the hell out of a person (again, I'm guilty but uh)

.There are those AFs who date WMs or exclusively non-Asian. They may be doing this because they've bought into the social hierarchy. However, misogynistic words and actions won't change them or their views. It's going to be better to try and reach out...which may or may not be ultimately successful. But try and take the time to breath, look past this issue at others which are also important. If AFs are being racialized to hate AMs, that's significant, but there are other causes which are much more immediately rewarding, I think? Like working on APIAs coming into their identity -- you'll become disillusioned quick working on people who hate themselves, but you'll be encouraged much more by working with/growing with those who are learning to love themselves.

Also, consider: attack the problem at its source. Changing consumption/viewing/etc. habits, personal actions, talking w. friends, etc. can all encourage AFs who have "sold out" to change their mindsets re: dating. Sorry, that's vague. Refusing to see x movie because it has negative portrayals and y actor is racist/sexist. e.g. Grindhouse, directed by Quentin.

.There are those AMs who are stuck on this issue. This may be the case because they're insecure for many other reasons. But bashing on them won't help. Does it help for an APIA coming into their identity to have people dismiss their claims of racism as hypersensitivity? Even if they might be overreacting, we recognize that giving them the benefit of the doubt is the right thing to do because the potential benefits outweigh the negatives, yeah? So why not do the same? Those who are stuck have a personal responsibility to break out of the rut, but we also have a responsibility to help them out of it.

Also, it's important to recognize that the problem starts with society and the media racializing AFs to hate themselves, find AMs undesirable, etc. So it's a legitimate issue that we do need to recognize (if we haven't already), and I think we should be much more vocal about it. The solutions being offered are also terrible, IMO. The problem is societal (media, society), yet the only solutions offered a lot of the time are individualistic (get out there, play the field). I see this as equivalent to acknowledging racism, yet thinking that by simply not saying or doing racist things, we're going to change something. Does this make sense? The pull yourself up by the bootstraps mentality is some american dream bullshit. We should be putting way more pressure on...i dunno who, specifically. hollywood vaguely. :(

[eos]

our posts aren't in the order they appeared in the other thread. it makes it seem like people said or responded to different things.

anyway....af/wm relationships BOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

[buttermilkwise]

Wow, Asian men are so low on the dating hierarchy that even women of their own race aren’t interested in them.

Not even our gay asian men are interested in us.

[kimpossible]

Dude, you already plugged this in your intro. No need to spam it.

[deez nuts]

though i prefer it to be an exclusively am/wf focus site. we need more sites that focus on asian male and non asian female relationsips especially that of am/wf. but, nonetheless good work.

karma4u.

[kimpossible]

^ Hey you. I'd tell you this over PM but you have it turned off, genius.

I'll join if you do. Rules - you first. I promise to keep my piehole shut and open it only in the capacity of serving as your wing woman if you promise to go balls out on the hunt. Other rule is we pick each other's screen name for them. Since went around me to get the stud's permission to use the little guy as bait, I'll grant you use of selected pictures. 'kay?

[deez nuts]

^ Hey you. I'd tell you this over PM but you have it turned off, genius.

I'll join if you do. Rules - you first. I promise to keep my piehole shut and open it only in the capacity of serving as your wing woman if you promise to go balls out on the hunt. Other rule is we pick each other's screen name for them. Since went around me to get the stud's permission to use the little guy as bait, I'll grant you use of selected pictures. 'kay?

you'll really do that for me? i am truly moved. ok, i'll let you know if i decide to join!

[kimpossible]

you'll really do that for me? i am truly moved. ok, i'll let you know if i decide to join!

But you gotta use the screen name I choose. Turn your PM on.

[monkeygone2]

^Did I just get a peek behind the wizard(s)'s curtain?

[yoMAMA]

went to dim sum today and saw an average looking short asian guy with an average looking short white woman.

[SunWuKong]

though i prefer it to be an exclusively am/wf focus site. we need more sites that focus on asian male and non asian female relationsips especially that of am/wf. but, nonetheless good work.

karma4u.

Club AmWf - Building an interactive community for Asian men and White women. (http://www.clubamwf.com)

(no, seriously. that's what it really says.)

[deez nuts]

Club AmWf - Building an interactive community for Asian men and White women. (http://www.clubamwf.com)

(no, seriously. that's what it really says.)

score! kim, what do you think? i think this one might be better since i only care about asian men with white women.

[AngryABCGirl]

I think the fact why this issue is so big on internet message boards and in academia because it's the one thing middle and upper class Asians have time to go on the internet and rant about. I think I can confidently say this is the demographic on the board, and while I'm not exception, I'm trying to step out of that box and reflect and that fact I've learned doing Asian American activist stuff during my college years how much middle and upper-class Asians can benefit their communities and the world in general around them doing things other than ranting about IR dating disparity. Besides, a man with morals who wants to help save the world and help his people is truly hot stuff.

The people with the real problems, like immigrants in shoddy housing getting taken advantage of, gentrification of ethnic neighborhoods, working class ABCs (and there is such a thing) still living in Chinatowns working to make ends meet and other blue collar Asians facing discriminatory obstacles, or Cambodians and other Southeast Asians who came as refugees when they were 2 or 3 getting deported of strict Patriot Laws, etc. aren't gonna come online and rant about this stuff.

On the other coin people who are successful at life and getting laid- aren't gonna come on the board and rant about it. It's the loser concentration effect. There's bigger issues in the Asian Am community than this, much bigger, and I think most people in work and life realize this and move on and shrug it off.

It's the nerdy CS or engineer type *insert other white collar job that maybe doesn't involve a lot of social skills* guy (not always, no dis to all you science-y folk on this board) making a decent income whose frustrated he can't get a date because he dresses slovenly and doesn't work out or isn't confident or has great social skills that comes out and rants about this on the internet as if they are entitled to an Asian woman or something. I dunno, if a guy like has enough time, energy, and money, maybe he ought to spend that time tutoring low-income Asian kids in a nearby area- just saying if he really wants to benefit the community and is frustrated and creating a good role model.

Most really good-looking confident Asian men, and men in general, and I'm sure someone is going to crucify me for this on the board, is gonna get a date. Especially in big cities were Asians congregate like in NY, SF, LA, etc., you're gonna see more Asian and Asian couples unless you go to some white bread blue-blood type district for that reason and Asian women who are open to dating Asian men. Before even money and sometimes even looks, women are attracted to a confident man who can take care of them. I've seen Taiwanese guys here who would not fit the descriptions of Western masculinity by any means bag good-looking White girls and girls of all other colors because they were the guys confident enough they had the cajones to do it and women went for it. And it's rich playboys doing it, this guy working at the bubble tea stand I walk by everyday is making out with his blond German girlfriend everyday. See what I'm saying.

[TB4000]

I think in the larger cities you tend to see more interracial dating of a larger spectrum, not just black/white or white/asian. Smaller towns tend to have a couple of them that fit that bill, but somewhere like a Chicago or an NYC, no one really gawks at IR daters. I've seen a lot of asian dudes with white chicks walking around here in the Loop than I've seen anywhere else period. Are they all fine as all get out? Some...other, not so much. =p

[kimpossible]

score! kim, what do you think? i think this one might be better since i only care about asian men with white women.

let's do both. the other one has serious corny factor and i feel i'll get more entertainment value. plus, it doubles your chances. don't worry about the "xf" bullshit they spew. it really means white anyhow. see? he wrote out white female in his other post.

Hey guys,

Nice to be here.. A new asian men/white female chat forum up. Check it out, sign up, participate and give feedback. New members needed. :cool: :cool: :cool:

PROAZN.COM

Thanks!

ps - remind me i promised to shut the piehole unless it's to help you.

pps - send me proof you joined (the last screen name i sent was a real winner and fuck you if you think otherwise) and i'll join. i also know you're going to give me the stupidest screen name on the planet. thanks in advance.

ppps to banana - dude this is in rant room now. i'll talk to you over chat sometime. anything i write her will bring out every nutjub on the intarweb.

[deez nuts]

too lazy to register. but, when i do i'll let you know.

[USCTrojanzNo1]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7IODjKDCoM

:biggrin:

[SunWuKong]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7IODjKDCoM

:biggrin:

wow, that was pretty fucking good. and i don't even know the first thing about dancing.

[Tao]

Club AmWf - Building an interactive community for Asian men and White women. (http://www.clubamwf.com)

(no, seriously. that's what it really says.)

the girls on that site are horrendous....i think i just threw up a little in my mouth.

[kimpossible]

the girls on that site are horrendous....i think i just threw up a little in my mouth.

but they want you.

[Banana]

I think in the larger cities you tend to see more interracial dating of a larger spectrum, not just black/white or white/asian. Smaller towns tend to have a couple of them that fit that bill, but somewhere like a Chicago or an NYC, no one really gawks at IR daters. I've seen a lot of asian dudes with white chicks walking around here in the Loop than I've seen anywhere else period. Are they all fine as all get out? Some...other, not so much. =p

They actually said that interracial dating actually happens less in major urban areas.

[Banana]

I think the fact why this issue is so big on internet message boards and in academia because it's the one thing middle and upper class Asians have time to go on the internet and rant about. I think I can confidently say this is the demographic on the board, and while I'm not exception, I'm trying to step out of that box and reflect and that fact I've learned doing Asian American activist stuff during my college years how much middle and upper-class Asians can benefit their communities and the world in general around them doing things other than ranting about IR dating disparity. Besides, a man with morals who wants to help save the world and help his people is truly hot stuff.

The people with the real problems, like immigrants in shoddy housing getting taken advantage of, gentrification of ethnic neighborhoods, working class ABCs (and there is such a thing) still living in Chinatowns working to make ends meet and other blue collar Asians facing discriminatory obstacles, or Cambodians and other Southeast Asians who came as refugees when they were 2 or 3 getting deported of strict Patriot Laws, etc. aren't gonna come online and rant about this stuff.

On the other coin people who are successful at life and getting laid- aren't gonna come on the board and rant about it. It's the loser concentration effect. There's bigger issues in the Asian Am community than this, much bigger, and I think most people in work and life realize this and move on and shrug it off.

It's the nerdy CS or engineer type *insert other white collar job that maybe doesn't involve a lot of social skills* guy (not always, no dis to all you science-y folk on this board) making a decent income whose frustrated he can't get a date because he dresses slovenly and doesn't work out or isn't confident or has great social skills that comes out and rants about this on the internet as if they are entitled to an Asian woman or something. I dunno, if a guy like has enough time, energy, and money, maybe he ought to spend that time tutoring low-income Asian kids in a nearby area- just saying if he really wants to benefit the community and is frustrated and creating a good role model.

Most really good-looking confident Asian men, and men in general, and I'm sure someone is going to crucify me for this on the board, is gonna get a date. Especially in big cities were Asians congregate like in NY, SF, LA, etc., you're gonna see more Asian and Asian couples unless you go to some white bread blue-blood type district for that reason and Asian women who are open to dating Asian men. Before even money and sometimes even looks, women are attracted to a confident man who can take care of them. I've seen Taiwanese guys here who would not fit the descriptions of Western masculinity by any means bag good-looking White girls and girls of all other colors because they were the guys confident enough they had the cajones to do it and women went for it. And it's rich playboys doing it, this guy working at the bubble tea stand I walk by everyday is making out with his blond German girlfriend everyday. See what I'm saying.

While mostly true, I know many Asian guys that are currently with girlfriends as well as ones that are married who are still pissed off at it. I think it would be a mistake to see this as an issue that only "losers" are concerned with.

Additionally, others see it as a problem in that the community is having a difficult time replicating itself because of the huge out marriage ratio. If you have almost 50% of the women marrying out, there's bound to be friction, loser or otherwise. While it's technically true that most Asian women are with Asian men, I don't think 57% is worthy of clapping.

[deez nuts]

. Especially in big cities were Asians congregate like in NY, SF, LA, etc

i was at the stanford cancer center for an interview and i took a ride around the surrounding area and all i saw everywhere was asian female and white male couples. i think i saw maybe one asian male-asian female couple. but, i was only there for a short time.

[Tao]

but they want you.

i think i'm gonna end my life now.

[deez nuts]

i think i'm gonna end my life now.

remember to slit the wrist vertically and not horizontally.

[Banana]

Heh. Someone went so far as to say that it's easier to find a AF/WM couple than a AF/AM couple these days, especially if they're American born.

[Tao]

remember to slit the wrist vertically and not horizontally.

duh, i'm in med school..hello!

[snailpoo]

Additionally, others see it as a problem in that the community is having a difficult time replicating itself because of the huge out marriage ratio. If you have almost 50% of the women marrying out, there's bound to be friction, loser or otherwise. While it's technically true that most Asian women are with Asian men, I don't think 57% is worthy of clapping.

Oh geez, not here too.

Asian Indians

Husbands
Asian Indians 89.7
Other Asians 1.5
Whites 6.3
Blacks 0.6
Hispanics/Latinos 1.4
Wives
Asian Indians 92.0
Other Asians 1.2
Whites 4.1
Blacks 0.7
Hispanics/Latinos 0.8

Chinese

Husbands
Chinese 89.5
Other Asians 4.1
Whites 5.1
Blacks 0.1
Hispanics/Latinos 1.1
Wives
Chinese 83.0
Other Asians 3.3
Whites 12.0
Blacks 0.3
Hispanics/Latinos 1.0

Filipinos

Husbands
Filipinos 83.1
Other Asians 2.5
Whites 10.1
Blacks 0.2
Hispanics/Latinos 3.3
Wives
Filipinos 62.7
Other Asians 2.7
Whites 27.3
Blacks 2.8
Hispanics/Latinos 3.9

Japanese

Husbands
Japanese 69.2
Other Asians 8.8
Whites 17.5
Blacks 0.3
Hispanics/Latinos 2.7
Wives
Japanese 50.9
Other Asians 5.4
Whites 37.1
Blacks 1.7
Hispanics/Latinos 2.4

Koreans

Husbands
Koreans 93.1
Other Asians 1.9
Whites 3.9
Blacks 0.0
Hispanics/Latinos 0.9
Wives
Koreans 69.4
Other Asians 2.8
Whites 24.3
Blacks 1.7
Hispanics/Latinos 1.4

Vietnamese

Husbands
Vietnamese 92.4
Other Asians 3.7
Whites 2.7
Blacks 0.1
Hispanics/Latinos 1.1
Wives
Vietnamese 86.4
Other Asians 3.3
Whites 9.0
Blacks 0.3
Hispanics/Latinos 1.0
http://www.asian-nation.org/interracial.shtml

Yes there is a disparity. No it's not that bad. Yes, Asians have a high outmarriage rate, but Asian men also have a decently high outmarriage rate. Even though the rates for the 1.5 and born and raised generations are higher for Asian women, Asian men also have a higher rate as well. Add in the fact that there are more Asian women than Asian men...


The point is that you see what you want to see. When people look and see only AF/WM couples, it's because that's what they're looking for. The census numbers are quite different.

[monkeygone2]

i was at the stanford cancer center for an interview and i took a ride around the surrounding area and all i saw everywhere was asian female and white male couples. i think i saw maybe one asian male-asian female couple. but, i was only there for a short time.

Holy.........Are you a......Dr. Nuts?

[Craig]

i was at the stanford cancer center for an interview and i took a ride around the surrounding area and all i saw everywhere was asian female and white male couples. i think i saw maybe one asian