anyone else here whitewashed?

[2nd yellow]

I'm adopted and I seem to have issues making friends with real asians.

I've tried before, but apparently I stick out like a sore thumb among asians. I tried to talk to a Korean girl in a club once and the minute I started to speak she said that I was too American for her tastes. Now I realize that it could've been her just blowing me off, but this is far from being an isolated event with me.

This goes beyond just meeting girls though. I had a Vietnamese girlfriend once and her parents absolutely hated me because I didn't have any sort of Asian culture in my life. We dated for 2 years and they refused to meet my white parents. She ended up dumping me for a more asian mate that her parents would approve of.

Anyone else have any experiences like this?

[Banana]

Well, I was raised in a very white area of NJ and I've always had problems blending in with other Asians but mainly because I've always been intimidated by Asian people and having my authenticity questioned. I can sometimes blend in since my grasp of the Chinese language is decent. This is 10 times worse when talking to Asian girls.

At any rate, I'm not sure how you stand out like a sore thumb. The way I stand out is I tend to enjoy doing outdoor activities such as hiking, biking, boating, etc. You know, activities that most Asians don't find all that interesting since they would rather hit some club or bar at night.

[deez nuts]

i'm white washed.

[Adaon]

Well, I was raised in a very white area of NJ and I've always had problems blending in with other Asians but mainly because I've always been intimidated by Asian people and having my authenticity questioned. I can sometimes blend in since my grasp of the Chinese language is decent. This is 10 times worse when talking to Asian girls.

At any rate, I'm not sure how you stand out like a sore thumb. The way I stand out is I tend to enjoy doing outdoor activities such as hiking, biking, boating, etc. You know, activities that most Asians don't find all that interesting since they would rather hit some club or bar at night.

You're only standing out because you think you're standing out.

There are so many groups out on this coast that are a majority young Asian and affiliated with some form of outdoor activity that you don't know where to start, especially the ones you listed. =)

[At1109am]

I'm white washed. I don't have asian friends, i'm dating a caucasian.

I love CHINESE FOOD THOUGH! YUM!!!

[tvbdude]

i'm white washed.

semen?

[enzoeva]

I'm adopted and I seem to have issues making friends with real asians.

I've tried before, but apparently I stick out like a sore thumb among asians. I tried to talk to a Korean girl in a club once and the minute I started to speak she said that I was too American for her tastes. Now I realize that it could've been her just blowing me off, but this is far from being an isolated event with me.

This goes beyond just meeting girls though. I had a Vietnamese girlfriend once and her parents absolutely hated me because I didn't have any sort of Asian culture in my life. We dated for 2 years and they refused to meet my white parents. She ended up dumping me for a more asian mate that her parents would approve of.

Anyone else have any experiences like this?

maybe because they were fobs?

i don't hate them or dislike them, but its hard for me to connect with them. its like they're from another country.........:rolleyes:

[sageb1]

I suppose I am whitewashed, but any eccencrities are due to my being Japanese.

Though I like anime and JPOP. As well, I prefer world music over anything else.

Oh, and I think that people who have only one favourite musical genre fear extending their listening pleasure because of fear their peers would dump them if they admitted to liking PuffyAmiYumi.

[BigLew]

i'm white washed.

You wish.

[BigLew]

I'm adopted and I seem to have issues making friends with real asians.

I've tried before, but apparently I stick out like a sore thumb among asians. I tried to talk to a Korean girl in a club once and the minute I started to speak she said that I was too American for her tastes. Now I realize that it could've been her just blowing me off, but this is far from being an isolated event with me.

This goes beyond just meeting girls though. I had a Vietnamese girlfriend once and her parents absolutely hated me because I didn't have any sort of Asian culture in my life. We dated for 2 years and they refused to meet my white parents. She ended up dumping me for a more asian mate that her parents would approve of.

Anyone else have any experiences like this?

Yes let us all gather and we can go to war with the hapas to see who has more white in our souls!

[Paradox]

I used to be pretty white washed and I think there are remnants of that in me. For instance I listen to a lot of alternative rock. I'm very politically orientated in my discussions. I also eat a lot of American style food..which I cook for myself in Thailand. I suppose that's the price of being asian-american. I don't think it's a bad thing that I like all that stuff because most of it has universal appeal. On the Asian side i'm much more into asian film. I still can't stand the vast majority of asian orientated rock or pop groups though.

I find that a lot of asian-americans couldn't give two shits about politics and are all into hip hop and brand whoring which I detest. Many are also very trend conscious..

[deez nuts]

semen?

i did just masturbate. it's more of a milky translucent white rather than a caucasian white.

[2nd yellow]

Yes let us all gather and we can go to war with the hapas to see who has more white in our souls!

i'm a halfie too. :(

[Craig]

i'm a halfie too. :(If that's the case, you are never going to be accepted by most Asian Americans no matter what you do (well, lots of stupid Asian Americans will kiss your ass if you act like a monkey for the whiteys doing sports, entertainment or are rich and famous). Some will accept you and not care, but they are in the minority. Even if you act very Asian, most Asian Americans (especially in the more "progressive" areas, less so in flyover land) will treat you differently once they find out ... and they will find out if you let it be known because they will have nothing better to do than talk about you behind your back.

[AngryABCGirl]

I find that a lot of asian-americans couldn't give two shits about politics and are all into hip hop and brand whoring which I detest. Many are also very trend conscious..

Hahaha that's funny because I'm really into hip hop and brand whorey at times(meaning when I can afford), but I'm also really into politics and Asian American activism. I'm more into underground and political hip hop more than anything though- so it is very different I think. The brand whoring is a result of growing up in Los Angeles and of being Taiwanese American Princess. Not very trendy though- it's not a good use of my money, I'll just splurge on some nice Roots stuff or a nice pair of 7 jeans sometime. That sometime is usually payday and then I am like "oh crap" after.

I consider myself Americanized but not whitewashed per se. I say that because I grew up around only other minorities (mostly other Asians and Latinos) and other Chinese people and didn't really have any white friends until my late teens and in college. I'll admit I had a really people of color type mentality is the best I can describe it for a long time even though I'm not from a poor background or anything. In college I hung out with fobs of all different origins and was involved in a lot of people of color oriented politics. As a result I really do feel a connection between other minorities and came friends very easily in certain situations, especially among other Asians, even non-Chinese people. Another thing is it that keeps me pretty separated from the expats here who aren't other Overseas Chinese, who are pretty much all White, who seem to detest Overseas Chinese people(but that's a whole other discussion), because my mentality and the way I act is really different from the average White American. It throws a lot of people off, but it's just who I am. I write too much.

[2nd yellow]

If that's the case, you are never going to be accepted by most Asian Americans no matter what you do (well, lots of stupid Asian Americans will kiss your ass if you act like a monkey for the whiteys doing sports, entertainment or are rich and famous). Some will accept you and not care, but they are in the minority. Even if you act very Asian, most Asian Americans (especially in the more "progressive" areas, less so in flyover land) will treat you differently once they find out ... and they will find out if you let it be known because they will have nothing better to do than talk about you behind your back.

the sad thing is that no one knows i'm a halfie until i tell them. genetics are weird like that. my brother looks really caucasian while i pretty much look like a full blooded asian.

i just find it really sad that i go out of my way to learn more about my heritage and i'm immediately cut off because i'm adopted and mixed. what really blows my mind is that i see sites like this with asians complaining about america not accepting them. the door swings both ways in my opinion.

[Adaon]

The thing that gets MY goat is the fact that with threads like this, so many generalizations are tossed around that nothing really changes.

There are a lot of similar experiences between each of us, but at the same time, there are a lot more individual experiences with "acceptance/rejection" from everyone.

I mean, I read Craig's comment earlier in the thread, and was about to spout something worded incorrectly *sorry, Craig, it's a bad habit of mine, I'm trying to curb* (as it appears I might be in the minority he was talking about there), but at the same time, I realized that his statement is most probably backed by his experiences with people.

[cool]

i guess i am in-between. fobs probably see me as whitewashed because i speak canto with an accent and the really whitewashed asians probably see me as fobby.

its weird.

[popculturepooka]

I'm not whitewashed. At least I don't think. Well, it helps me go to sleep at night, telling myself I am not whitewashed.
I was raised in a pretty much white neighborhood (there were nob-whites if you looked hard enough), but even when I was little I always looked for non-white people to hang out with.
My friends consisted of me (a blasian), creole black guy, 1 white guy, 2 filipinos, 2 koreans, 1 mexican, 1 chinese, and a mixed indian/white girl.

Even at that young age, I could just tell that there are some things non-white people just "get" without me having to explain it to them.

So all my life, I've really trid to reject that "white is right" type mentality, but then irony gets ahold of you.

Most of my friends in highschool were white.

[deez nuts]

i don't see anything wrong with being white washed.

being white washed is just the same as an asian acting like he or she is black or wanting to be black. whether it's bad or not is really subjective depending on the individual.

[yoMAMA]

this is america, where white people are the majority group.

we are all whitewashed to a certain degree.

[AngryABCGirl]

On this note it's also a really easy way to reject people and categorize people. After awhile I think people might grow out of this, most people do but some people don't.

[kimpossible]

Hey 2nd I gave this overnight to think about before I responded. This is how I think I can relate to your situation. I'm one quarter Asian and while I'm not adopted, I have a parent who is so I am somewhat acquainted with knowing my family on that side is not the same as my ancestry. I've also beenthere donethat with heritage exploration in Asia, meeting Asian relatives I didn't grow up with. I'm telling you all this so you can decide for yourself how much I can relate and how to frame my comments.

Your issues are circumstancial and not internal. Think about that. This isn't a case of denying Asian roots in order to be white. But instead of concentrating on what's out of sorts, because I think it's fairly straightforward, I'm concentrating on how I feel it could be resolved for the better.

1. Personal acceptance.

I don't mean to think of yourself as Asian and acceptance follows. I mean come to grips with how realistically you are not Asian. Most likely you feel very Asian because you have been the sole Asian representation in whatever social or family group you were in growing up. You're mixed and half Asian, right? Well, even those of us who grow up with an ethnically Asian parent aren't really considered Asian. We do often get the benefit of understanding that part of our cultural heritage but it's not equivalent to making deposits into an Asian Identity bank account. You don't cash it in to purchase entry down the line.

2. Stop holding Asian Americans accountable

As I mentioned before, family is not the same as ancestry where adoption is concerned. I love my grandparents as my family but realize they aren't my ancestors. It was our roles in each other's lives that was important. I do have interest in my ancestry on that side of my family and have not ruled out mapping my biological lineage for equal parts identity and medical info.

That would be your responsibility to find out your ancestry or explore your heritage if you want a more tangible roadmap to your ethnic Asian heritage. What you're doing now is pinging off against individuals you come across by chance and trying to mathematically average out those experiences. It's unfair to hold unsuspecting Asian Americans accountable for your developing identity.

3. Ask yourself a different question

Right now you're asking yourself and others, "Am I Asian?" I think you should change the question(s) to, "How am I Asian? How does it fit with the rest or the whole of who I am?"



Don't be a victim of self-pity, it's a quagmire that too many mixed people get caught in. Self exploration is difficult and a long term goal. Need every adoptee or mixed heritage Asian do it solely to resolve their otherness? Certainly not, but it's perfectly understandable to want to do so. Reaching out to a varied group of Asian Americans in ethnicity and experiences like we have here could be your first step. Just make sure it's not the last or only. We'll back you up the best we can as you make your way.

[AngryABCGirl]

Just an addendum to what I was saying before to be a little more articulate. Ethnic identity is one part of a person, and at certain points in life it's completely paramount. This is especially in college years where everyone is trying to find themselves in more than just and ethnic sense and are emotionally sensitive about it, and therefore more prone to reject people for idiotic reasons.

After awhile people realize ethnic identity is only the part of a person's worth and character. Or at least I and my peers realized this. I'm not gonna rag on someone and not get to know someone who didn't grow up like me or shares the same ideals as me as long as they don't pull out some "Asians are like this and that, I don't want to date Asian people, oh Asian culture is oppressive" bullshit.

[hooligan]

i guess i am in-between. fobs probably see me as whitewashed because i speak canto with an accent and the really whitewashed asians probably see me as fobby.

its weird.

Dood, I get this too. Can we stop with the labelling? OP how old are you?

[BigLew]

The thing that gets MY goat is the fact that with threads like this, so many generalizations are tossed around that nothing really changes.

There are a lot of similar experiences between each of us, but at the same time, there are a lot more individual experiences with "acceptance/rejection" from everyone.

I mean, I read Craig's comment earlier in the thread, and was about to spout something worded incorrectly *sorry, Craig, it's a bad habit of mine, I'm trying to curb* (as it appears I might be in the minority he was talking about there), but at the same time, I realized that his statement is most probably backed by his experiences with people.

Hell, it's all dicked up right now. Just like how racial slurs are back in fashion, even here on YW where there used to be pretty much a zero tolerance policy.

What the fuck ya gonna do? My knuckles are wore out from sockin' people for it. I used to have help but I feel like I'm the only one, just like you.

[CBC guy]

I'm "whitewashed" to a certain extent but I can speak Chinese fluently enough. I ownz. :biggrin:

[LaiSteve66]

i'm a halfie too. :(

Why the frown?

[tvbdude]

I'm not white washed. I don't even like white people. Why would I like the things they like?

[sageb1]

Try watching MTV's Maui Fever without cringing.

It's about white kids in Hawaii socializing, and there may be at least one male hapa on the show but all of those girls are white.

Anyone from Hawaii: did you hang around a lot of white kids there while growing up? Was your GF/BF white?

My guess is, most Hawaiians and Asians are hanging out with family and family friends rather than with the haoles.

[hooligan]

Why the frown?

Not in the "good looking hapa" category apparently. Filled with hapa-angst.

[AsianFighter]

I'm adopted and I seem to have issues making friends with real asians.

I've tried before, but apparently I stick out like a sore thumb among asians. I tried to talk to a Korean girl in a club once and the minute I started to speak she said that I was too American for her tastes. Now I realize that it could've been her just blowing me off, but this is far from being an isolated event with me.

This goes beyond just meeting girls though. I had a Vietnamese girlfriend once and her parents absolutely hated me because I didn't have any sort of Asian culture in my life. We dated for 2 years and they refused to meet my white parents. She ended up dumping me for a more asian mate that her parents would approve of.

Anyone else have any experiences like this?

I can relate somewhat. I'm half asian too and think what you've described is experienced by quite a lot of partial asians. It sounds like you see yourself as more asian than non-asian, as do I, but unfortunately, we will always be seen as asian in the eyes of most non-asians and non-asian to most asians.

Meeting girls was a problem for me too in that whilst I found myself more attracted to asian girls, most of the girls attracted to me were white, black, in fact pretty much every race other than asian.

[AngryABCGirl]

I know this isn't especially relevant to the current discussion, but good grief.

Yesterday my friend in Taiwan (a local) has had two distant relations staying with him for the past two weeks back from the states, a mom and her American-born daughter who hadn't been back to Taiwan in two decades. He invited me out to spend the day with him to be his American airbag for the day and talk talk to them in English while he took them out to the see the countryside full of beautiful beaches and jungles.

These people were every bad American stereotype. They refused to eat anything, especially the daughter who doesn't like Asian food. Going to Asia is all about eating. This is just kind of crazy to be because she is also from the San Gabriel Valley and went to the high school literally ten minutes from mine, one of the hardest places in America to be whitewashed. I credit growing up there to be able to come live here and adapt to it, so I don't get it. They constantly complained about everything and never wanted to do anything and totally did not appreciate how much my friend was doing for them driving them hours around the countryside and all over the city. Complained about everything and said it was boring and dirty and made fun of the people there in front of their faces and refused to try anything. I'd like to see them visit Mainland China for 2 days.

You can go to a place and not like it, but at least be a little respectful to the people taking care of you. I complain about living here but I still love living here despite that I'm suffering from all these infections and on four kinds of medication, but understand I'm not better than the locals or this place and no place is perfect. No wonder people have all these bad stereotypes of Asian Americans. I haven't spent time with whitewashed people like this in ages, and I now I know why. My friend took them to the nicest and most beautiful places and they totally ruined it for me too. BLEH.

Sorry the end.

[mr. x]

^---sheeyit I thought I was bad. If we had hung out I would've at least eaten the shaolongbaos. I have to admit my tastes tend to veer away from Chinese but I love me some meat, I have yet to find a culture that's gotten it wrong (say no to vegan meat, it's an oxymoron)

[j&j2]

I'm adopted and I seem to have issues making friends with real asians.

I've tried before, but apparently I stick out like a sore thumb among asians. I tried to talk to a Korean girl in a club once and the minute I started to speak she said that I was too American for her tastes. Now I realize that it could've been her just blowing me off, but this is far from being an isolated event with me.

Well, "whitewashed", "Americanized", "assimilated", etc. Asians are "real" Asians too - maybe you'll have more luck with them.

[BeTheReds]

If that's the case, you are never going to be accepted by most Asian Americans no matter what you do (well, lots of stupid Asian Americans will kiss your ass if you act like a monkey for the whiteys doing sports, entertainment or are rich and famous). Some will accept you and not care, but they are in the minority. Even if you act very Asian, most Asian Americans (especially in the more "progressive" areas, less so in flyover land) will treat you differently once they find out ... and they will find out if you let it be known because they will have nothing better to do than talk about you behind your back.

Cant' say I totally agree with that.... But whatever...

[lethal]

I think I'm pretty whitewashed except for my political causes and my friends. Mannerisms, tastes, they're all mainstream white. Or maybe my self-assessment is wrong. Rad? Kim?

[SunWuKong]

You can go to a place and not like it, but at least be a little respectful to the people taking care of you. I complain about living here but I still love living here despite that I'm suffering from all these infections and on four kinds of medication, but understand I'm not better than the locals or this place and no place is perfect. No wonder people have all these bad stereotypes of Asian Americans. I haven't spent time with whitewashed people like this in ages, and I now I know why. My friend took them to the nicest and most beautiful places and they totally ruined it for me too. BLEH.

there's a difference between you complaining and they complaining. you actually live there and you identify Taiwan, to whatever degree, as "yours". they do not. you complain because you wish things were better, they complain to make fun of the place.

[SunWuKong]

I think I'm pretty whitewashed except for my political causes and my friends. Mannerisms, tastes, they're all mainstream white. Or maybe my self-assessment is wrong. Rad? Kim?

cook more Vietnamese food, you twinkie! :biggrin:

just playing. lethal is a good cook, Vietnamese food or not.

anyway, i don't know if you're whitewashed or not. if you are, then it's not obvious to me. i think whitewashedness shows itself the best when either you're in Asia or you're socialising with FOBs.

[rice cracker]

I think I'm pretty whitewashed except for my political causes and my friends. Mannerisms, tastes, they're all mainstream white. Or maybe my self-assessment is wrong. Rad? Kim?

Don't ask the half-white woman, if you're not asking for a fork, you're pretty Asian to me.

Now me? I blend seamlessly into white culture. No one knows my background until it's too late. I can be y'alls undercover spy.

[AngryABCGirl]

there's a difference between you complaining and they complaining. you actually live there and you identify Taiwan, to whatever degree, as "yours". they do not. you complain because you wish things were better, they complain to make fun of the place.

I would not go ANYWHERE and act like them. They remind me of some of the bumbling idiots I studied abroad with in England who treated the experience as one big frat party. Except they're insulting their motherland which is not cool with some serious Asian self-hatred issues for an extra bit of delightful time.

Anyway, so friend calls me up again tonight to eat dinner tonight at 7. With the same people. But at my favorite restaurant, his treat. So I go meet him up. He comes and says they're still watching a movie (who goes to a movie on vacation? to watch pirates of the carribean of all things). So we lose our seats at my favorite restaurant. We go make reservations at another restaurant (that's 12 dollars US all you can eat). So we drive to the other side of town to pick them up. Not done yet. We sit in the car for about 40(!!!!) minutes waiting for them to come out. They gave us no estimate of time other than "soon" so we couldn't even do anything before. We were sitting in the car starving and staring at people with food walking by. Finally they come out and expect us to go into the mall with the theater and get them cause they can't find their way back to the street. We have to drive in a circle to when they finally come out the cineplex. He mentions offhandedly that we've been starving and is kind of mad but doesn't want to lose his temper, and all the mom does is laugh and say "you must be starving to death!" and giggles. And then she says she can't treat us because she doesn't have enough money. She and the daughter also don't eat because "the meat has too many calories" and claim to not have enough cash and the daughter "has to look good" because she has a dance or something to attend when she gets back. Newsflash, if you're fat now, you're not gonna be thin by not eating for a meal.

So maybe they are not whitewashed jackasses but just jackasses who happen to be whitewashed.

[contra_diction]

(who goes to a movie on vacation? to watch pirates of the carribean of all things)

I think the same thing. Why see a movie on vacation? Especially if you're visiting another country. Some people are entirely too unexciting for me... It frustrates me that they'd rather go to the movie theater than go parasailing, cliffdiving, or deepsea fishing in the Mediterranean. I mean, come on, can we at least go ride some go carts, shop, or explore some ruins and/or the quaint island cities!

[SunWuKong]

why are these people even visiting Taiwan to begin with?

[mr. x]

why are these people even visiting Taiwan to begin with?

if my whitewashdar is any indication, because the parents made them

[eos]

it's a mom and daughter duo.

they don't sound whitewashed to me. just total and utter idiots. those come in every color.

[CBC guy]

Sounds like that mom and daughter duo could have been anybody.

I was already seething just reading that story. If i actually saw them acting that way I would refuse to take them out after the first day.

[AngryABCGirl]

it's a mom and daughter duo.

they don't sound whitewashed to me. just total and utter idiots. those come in every color.

They were both- and it made it all the more delightful. More idiot though.

[monkeygone2]

can't blame asian american kids for wanting to fit in with their white community.

they want to have asian girlfriends, kanji tattoos & listen to black music like every other white guy.

[hooligan]

can't blame asian american kids for wanting to fit in with their white community.

they want to have asian girlfriends, kanji tattoos & listen to black music like every other white guy.

I sure hope this was a joke, unless you're describing yourself. In that case, more power to you. Well, let me just tell you from a perspective of an APIA guy who's been labeled everything from white washed to fob depending on the company. The description of the mother and daughter probably had nothing to do with the fact that they're APIA, rather they're just ignorant people to start with and they were probably going to do that with any culture that they did not like.

I guess in that situation it was just made more awful since they were Asian American. That's no excuse to be an ass. My mom still says some awful things about different cultures, you can hardly call her white washed.

White washing is only Chinese immigrants labeling changes they see happening to those born in the United States. It's a adoption of cultures and values which you find in the US, whether it's a bad thing or good thing is up to interpretation. It's just that white washing has historically been a "bad" thing according to Chinese immigrant families and individuals. In my opinion, it's inevitable, the people doing the labeling are pretty much doing themselves a disservice to their community.

That's not to say APIA community members are free from blame, but there simply isn't a clear cut or structured way people integrate into this country and their communities. People are people and will pick and choose values and cultures. However, the only way I think that the APIA community will never establish an identity is by creating one that we can be proud of while still acknowledging and paying respect to our roots.

It's only hard when our roots see us as less of a person than them. Fortunately, the jokes on them because there's not one damn thing you can do to change us. It's funny because the same people who complain about white washing are those who probably won't know what the fuck to do with their kids when they won't be able to speak their "mother" tongue and such.

Owned. It's about time to figure out how we can meet each other in the middle as opposed to name calling and basically bitching about something you can't change.

[2nd yellow]

can't blame asian american kids for wanting to fit in with their white community.

they want to have asian girlfriends, kanji tattoos & listen to black music like every other white guy.



oh man, i seriously loled at this.

my coworkers are looking at me all funny now.

[deez nuts]

http://images.teamsugar.com/files/users/1/13254/24_2007/sign_0.jpg

[Jin/晋]

If you like Asian girls, just date the White washed ones. Fobs are too hard to understand.

[BigLew]

http://images.teamsugar.com/files/users/1/13254/24_2007/sign_0.jpg

Ha! More christian truth!

[BigLew]

If you like Asian girls, just date the White washed ones. Fobs are too hard to understand.

Whitewashed asian girls only love white boys and me.

[AngryABCGirl]

White washing is only Chinese immigrants labeling changes they see happening to those born in the United States. It's a adoption of cultures and values which you find in the US, whether it's a bad thing or good thing is up to interpretation. It's just that white washing has historically been a "bad" thing according to Chinese immigrant families and individuals. In my opinion, it's inevitable, the people doing the labeling are pretty much doing themselves a disservice to their community.

That's not to say APIA community members are free from blame, but there simply isn't a clear cut or structured way people integrate into this country and their communities. People are people and will pick and choose values and cultures. However, the only way I think that the APIA community will never establish an identity is by creating one that we can be proud of while still acknowledging and paying respect to our roots.

It's only hard when our roots see us as less of a person than them. Fortunately, the jokes on them because there's not one damn thing you can do to change us. It's funny because the same people who complain about white washing are those who probably won't know what the fuck to do with their kids when they won't be able to speak their "mother" tongue and such.

Owned. It's about time to figure out how we can meet each other in the middle as opposed to name calling and basically bitching about something you can't change.

The thing is though that I think many people fail to critically realize especially for Asian Americans, especially those born in the US, is that we aren't exactly Americanized or Westernized, we just are. Albeit American in a Asian immigrant family complex and a minority, but we didn't make this transformation from being "pure Asian" to Banana. If anything the term applies more to 1.5 gen-ers and 1st generation immigrants. IE my parents have Americanized in their thinking and way of doing things, but I've always been what I've been.

Plus you're right the joke is on them, especially immigrants because they are the ones really Americanizing and changing, not us necessarily. It's more their insecurities attacking people who who are "Americanized". I've seen this happen with a lot of people who have moved back to Taiwan who left as kids or even immigrant adults who built their entire sense of being identity on being the "fob" or not being like people like us, but can't adapt to living here back again or even accepted in society as someone like me who is a bit closer to an expat moving and working here than an immigrant coming back to the homeland, but taking time to adapt and not having an inflated sense of entitlement and distorted expectations. People can pick them out,even I can now, and call them ABCs even if they are not actually ABCs. Pretty ironic.

[Paradox]

it's a mom and daughter duo.

they don't sound whitewashed to me. just total and utter idiots. those come in every color.
Yes, they just sound like a couple of arrogant twats who have completely assimilated into the white American suburban wife/daughter lifestyle. Jesus Christ, if they were my relatives I would disown them immediately. I'm not kidding either..I would refuse to talk to them again and completely write them off as strangers. Blood ain't that important to me if I want to strangle them everytime I am near them.

[eos]

heh.

and i used to think my suburban cousins were jerks cuz they wouldn't eat the food we ordered when we went to restaurants. they're much more appreciative now.

[Adaon]

Ha! More christian truth!

Meh. A "Christian" (as the billboard is real, but the message isn't necessarily one that I agree with being Christian) billboard that was photoshopped, I'm going on the hunch the billboard used to say lesbian, and someone shopped it.....not that there's anything wrong with being a lesbian, but I'm just saying someone photoshopped the sign.

[PiMPADOCiOUS]

The elementary school I went to was mostly white, and so I used to be whitewashed. But then in middle school it was mostly colored, so then I got blackwashed. I guess they cancel each other out.

[j&j2]

can't blame asian american kids for wanting to fit in with their white community.

they want to have asian girlfriends, kanji tattoos & listen to black music like every other white guy.

LOL (but seriously, WMs - well, the ones who can get attractive WFs, don't really seek out an Asian GFs).

[Dimeron]

If you like Asian girls, just date the White washed ones. Fobs are too hard to understand.

Its okay, being 1.5 gen, I'm fluent in my native tongue with no accent. Boo ya.

[sageb1]

I could swear I am whitewashed -- that lady I want to date is white.

But I know most of my eccentricities are due to my Asian genes.

[hooligan]

The thing is though that I think many people fail to critically realize especially for Asian Americans, especially those born in the US, is that we aren't exactly Americanized or Westernized, we just are. Albeit American in a Asian immigrant family complex and a minority, but we didn't make this transformation from being "pure Asian" to Banana. If anything the term applies more to 1.5 gen-ers and 1st generation immigrants. IE my parents have Americanized in their thinking and way of doing things, but I've always been what I've been.

Plus you're right the joke is on them, especially immigrants because they are the ones really Americanizing and changing, not us necessarily. It's more their insecurities attacking people who who are "Americanized". I've seen this happen with a lot of people who have moved back to Taiwan who left as kids or even immigrant adults who built their entire sense of being identity on being the "fob" or not being like people like us, but can't adapt to living here back again or even accepted in society as someone like me who is a bit closer to an expat moving and working here than an immigrant coming back to the homeland, but taking time to adapt and not having an inflated sense of entitlement and distorted expectations. People can pick them out,even I can now, and call them ABCs even if they are not actually ABCs. Pretty ironic.

Hey, this was almost exactly the way I thought about three years ago about the whole Asian American identity bit. It's hard to put into context for other people my experiences. I agree, it's not really this Americanization, but it's just how we've grown up. I've stopped believing in a hybrid identity, one that takes from both being American and Chinese and just explained my experiences as being Asian American (or Chinese American) what have you.

The thing is that not many other people see this, race and APIA culture scholars can explain this sort of identity. It's been written about in Asian American texts for at least two decades, but so far, aside from 2nd generation (and subsequent generations) not many people subscribe to the Asian American identity.

I don't blame them. It's a hard conclusion to come to. I don't even think I'm half way there figuring out how I fit into the grand scheme of things, although I'm hardly "lost". Jook sing, ABCs be damned, I think we're here to stay.

[tripostrophe]

lol gullibility award goes to biglew (and inability to comprehend sarcasm goes to me)

and good post from angryabcgirl

[AngryABCGirl]

Hey, this was almost exactly the way I thought about three years ago about the whole Asian American identity bit. It's hard to put into context for other people my experiences. I agree, it's not really this Americanization, but it's just how we've grown up. I've stopped believing in a hybrid identity, one that takes from both being American and Chinese and just explained my experiences as being Asian American (or Chinese American) what have you.

The thing is that not many other people see this, race and APIA culture scholars can explain this sort of identity. It's been written about in Asian American texts for at least two decades, but so far, aside from 2nd generation (and subsequent generations) not many people subscribe to the Asian American identity.

I don't blame them. It's a hard conclusion to come to. I don't even think I'm half way there figuring out how I fit into the grand scheme of things, although I'm hardly "lost". Jook sing, ABCs be damned, I think we're here to stay.

I think people, despite a globalized world, haven't really figured out how to deal with people who might be not be exactly what they look like or fit into assumed paradigms. I'll get everything here from local girl to ABC to "why can you read English?" to "Are you Malaysian?" to speaking speaking English to me to "Why can you read Chinese?". I don't think people understand that people can be both culturally American in some ideas and Chinese in others and there's no way to pin people down exactly anymore. So I do consider myself having a hybrid identity and realize how Chinese I am in some ways and some ways not throughout my life and especially by being out here- and I'm okay with that, that's how I turned out. It's each of our individual upbringings, emphasizing the individual circumstances.

I'll admit I have some Chinese chauvnist tendencies in me to look down on people who are whitewashed, but I've been becoming more critical of myself lately of that because it's just an assholish thing to do and there's a difference between people who don't respect being Asian and people who don't culturally identify with Asian culture.

This might just be a Chinese thing, I think with Overseas Chinese, we're not exactly insiders or to be trusted- but somehow we owe the nations we come from to help them develop and are still Chinese above all else. We're not really part of the family, but we're part of the tribe is how I saw one scholar put it. I do have my quips with this, but I understand at least in Taiwan's case a lot is put in government policy and education about the experiences of Overseas Chinese and about being "Overseas Compatriots" that people would develop this expectation without being critical about the forces of change and new sense of nationhood when people migrate.

In any case though, I do have a fundamental belief that we are all Asian and intrictably tied together because of this whether we really like it or not. I don't know were to run with that or have a solution to it either. Not acknowledging the impact of Asian culture on APIAs or having hostility between generational groups so to speak isn't very productive and mostly wrought with insecurities with issues such as national and cultural identity along with dealing with racism, oppression, and assimilating and acculturation that people would rather not admit.

[tripostrophe]

I'm whitewashed! I'm embarrassingly influent in my mother tongue. I went to a Korean War Memorial service today because a Korean organization was participating in it. It was full of old people and adults. And all white or mostly Korean-speaking. I felt so alienated :frown: Then horrible. Now I'm eating candied ginger and angst-ing to anyone who'll listen. Weh weh waaaah!!! I hate this place.

[huangalex]

I'm getting close to my roots by reading the Five Great Classics: Xi Wu Ji, Hong Lo Mong, San Guo Yan Yi, etc.!

...

English translations, anyways...

A piece of my heart aches when the fob kids don't talk to me because I was born and raised here. I speak fluently with my parents but they dumb it down and I don't have a clue when it comes to common phrases and idioms.

[Adaon]

I'm getting close to my roots by reading the Five Great Classics: Xi Wu Ji, Hong Lo Mong, San Guo Yan Yi, etc.!

...

English translations, anyways...

A piece of my heart aches when the fob kids don't talk to me because I was born and raised here. I speak fluently with my parents but they dumb it down and I don't have a clue when it comes to common phrases and idioms.

I get that feeling. My parents comfortably switch between Cantonese, English, and a little bit of Mandarin just for fun, but they never use colloquialisms with me since I'm missing the Chinese culture that THEY grew up with, so even if I knew and somewhat understood what the adages meant, I would probably use it incorrectly/in the wrong context.

But I am trying to find more English translations for The Condor Heroes series, The Romance of the Three Kingdoms, Journey to the West, etc, that are more true to the story and not altered too much.

[huangalex]

Often books will be mistranslated to give it more of an "Oriental" feel. Haruki Murakami's books were originally far more stoic than the English translations, but apparently Alfred Birnbaum felt that his adaptations better reflected the "monkey brain sushi neo-zen environment of post-bomb Japan".

[eos]

But I am trying to find more English translations for The Condor Heroes series, The Romance of the Three Kingdoms, Journey to the West, etc, that are more true to the story and not altered too much.

books? i really like journey to the west...my dad bought me an incomplete set of the story that i still have at home.

i dunno why but i'm just not interested in anything else about china's history. *gasps* like i can't watch those period dramas. they're so boring to me.

[Adaon]

books? i really like journey to the west...my dad bought me an incomplete set of the story that i still have at home.

i dunno why but i'm just not interested in anything else about china's history. *gasps* like i can't watch those period dramas. they're so boring to me.

Given my limited knowledge of Chinese history and culture (at least in the historical context), I wouldn't be able to tell the difference between a feature film set in the period of China's history (where the plot is totally made up, even if the setting fits) and an actual historical re-enactment film. That is one disappointment in myself I'm trying to rectify, doing a slow self study of Chinese History. And by slow, it means whenever I feel the urge to pick up the couple of history texts I bought and reading (which, as of late, has been pretty non-existent.)

[Newtybar]

I have never had the experience of a girl telling me I'm too americanized or white washed to date. In fact most Asian girls here think white washed isn't enough, you actually have to be white.

[AngryABCGirl]

I have never had the experience of a girl telling me I'm too americanized or white washed to date. In fact most Asian girls here think white washed isn't enough, you actually have to be white.

Wow really? Where do you live? The politics of being too whitewashed or too fobby is really big in urban parts California, unless you're living in suburban whitey-ville. Most of my girls back at home are like this, mainly because many of them are fobs, although there's plenty of born and raised types who do the same thing. Although I'm realizing the more of what they want is an attitude that isn't mainstream White, not necessarily Asian culture per se. Most of these people have a really strong sense they aren't white and won't be and don't want to be though, hence the not wanting of a whitewashed boy.

There's such a huge gap between how Asians act in different parts of the US, it's mind-boggling to me sometimes.

[Napoleon Chynamite]

^ There's a huge gap between how people in general act in different parts of the US period. Goes the same way with white people~

[Newtybar]

Wow really? Where do you live? The politics of being too whitewashed or too fobby is really big in urban parts California, unless you're living in suburban whitey-ville. Most of my girls back at home are like this, mainly because many of them are fobs, although there's plenty of born and raised types who do the same thing. Although I'm realizing the more of what they want is an attitude that isn't mainstream White, not necessarily Asian culture per se. Most of these people have a really strong sense they aren't white and won't be and don't want to be though, hence the not wanting of a whitewashed boy.

There's such a huge gap between how Asians act in different parts of the US, it's mind-boggling to me sometimes.

I am actually from California, specifically Orange County. I am a born and raised and mostly associate with such, however I do have some "fob" friends and wouldn't mind dating a "fob."

I would be perceived as being what people coin as "white washed." This really can't be helped since I grew up in a predominantly white neighborhood (I was the only asian kid in school until I reached junior high) I don't feel that I am, I feel that I still have a strong Asian based value system ie strong family orientation, filial obligations, and a strong sense of humbleness. I do differentiate in the aspect of self expression (I do not believe in holding things in) and individuality over community.

I think what is makes me to be perceived as white washed is all exterior like my hobbies (off roading, snowboarding, wake boarding, sports, sketching, painting, etc.) choice of clothing, and musical taste.

[urbia]

I think what is makes me to be perceived as white washed is all exterior like my hobbies (off roading, snowboarding, wake boarding, sports, sketching, painting, etc.) choice of clothing, and musical taste.

Oh my god, it's absolutely fucked up when people equate choice of hobbies with whiteness on the inside. I don't do my shit to be assimilated. I do it 'cause it's fun.

[huangalex]

Why are off roading and snowboarding white activities? It doesn't seem that any aspect of sliding down a mountain with sticks on your legs is exclusively for white people. As far as I can tell, it's race-neutral. It seems common for race-neutral to be equated with white.

[AngryABCGirl]

Why are off roading and snowboarding white activities? It doesn't seem that any aspect of sliding down a mountain with sticks on your legs is exclusively for white people. As far as I can tell, it's race-neutral. It seems common for race-neutral to be equated with white.

Yeah it's something I found really bizarre. I mean they're ski resorts all over Asia too.

It is indicative of whiteness in society and white privilege- that it's exactly what it is- free of race. What are Asians supposed to be doing, being bookworms and playing badminton? I did wushu in college, but I also played IM basketball and ultimate frisbee and dabbled in dance classes. If anything this says it's I'm a sports freak.

[urbia]

Yeah, I definitely see it as a form of white privilege in action. And consider appropriation too. There will be activities every now and then that people of colour have been doing, then white hipsters will 'discover' it. Suddenly it's considered cool because it's all about them.

And I'll add: I think hobbies should be treated as completely race-neutral in conversations about whitewashing. Identifying Asians as being whitewashed based on their hobbies is not only unreliable and counterproductive to APIA interests, but it legitimizes appropriation and implies an acceptance of white leadership in the process of defining what's cool. It doesn't have to be that way. At all.

[eos]

^yeah, like wearing saris and getting henna tattoos.

[AngryABCGirl]

Yeah, I definitely see it as a form of white privilege in action. And consider appropriation too. There will be activities every now and then that people of colour have been doing, then white hipsters will 'discover' it. Suddenly it's considered cool because it's all about them.

And I'll add: I think hobbies should be treated as completely race-neutral in conversations about whitewashing. Identifying Asians as being whitewashed based on their hobbies is not only unreliable and counterproductive to APIA interests, but it legitimizes appropriation and implies an acceptance of white leadership in the process of defining what's cool. It doesn't have to be that way. At all.

Very good point too. To add to it, Asians limiting themselves to certain activities in effect, are purposely restricting themselves to certain stereotypes by deeming certain activity categories White and certain categories Asian.

[Newtybar]

I am in 100% of agreement that hobbies should be considered race neutral. I'll take it one step further and say that in my opinion taste in clothing should be race neutral as well. Not culture or subculture neutral, but race neutral (btw why do people limit themselves to dress in one certain style...ok well to fit in with the peers they desire to fit in with I suppose). Some days, I feel dressing more urban, others I like to dress business casual, some days I like shorts and a tshirt. As far as music, I realize hip hop originates from the black movement during the slavery days, but it should be perceived as music FROM black people, not music FOR black people, same with alternative, indie, jpop whatever....

btw I basically do everything...if you name a hobby ive likely done it or do it.

[huangalex]

Now hair is a different matter...
http://youtube.com/shyaporn

[yoMAMA]

Why are off roading and snowboarding white activities? It doesn't seem that any aspect of sliding down a mountain with sticks on your legs is exclusively for white people. As far as I can tell, it's race-neutral. It seems common for race-neutral to be equated with white.

because this is america, we are obsessed with race.

[Banana]

Obsessed yet refuse to discuss it's problems and effects.

[hooligan]

I am actually from California, specifically Orange County. I am a born and raised and mostly associate with such, however I do have some "fob" friends and wouldn't mind dating a "fob."

I would be perceived as being what people coin as "white washed." This really can't be helped since I grew up in a predominantly white neighborhood (I was the only asian kid in school until I reached junior high) I don't feel that I am, I feel that I still have a strong Asian based value system ie strong family orientation, filial obligations, and a strong sense of humbleness. I do differentiate in the aspect of self expression (I do not believe in holding things in) and individuality over community.

I think what is makes me to be perceived as white washed is all exterior like my hobbies (off roading, snowboarding, wake boarding, sports, sketching, painting, etc.) choice of clothing, and musical taste.

That's not true, I'm from Orange County, CA too. I found plenty of Asian American women to date. You're thinking about it too much, just go with the flow and don't think about getting girls. You sound like me back in high school. PM me if you want to chat about this.

[Pb2308]

wait, i haven't read thru all 6 pages. but what do you guys mean when you ask 'anyone here white washed?' i actually just joined yellowworld(lol silly name) and im wondering, do you guys consider being white washed a bad thing?

[tripostrophe]

Whitewashed means basically what it sounds like -- assimilation into "white" culture, at the cost of losing whatever culture you formerly retained (if any). Generally, it's perceived as a bad thing, as a loss of culture.

Sometimes, but not always, it also reflects badly on a person, as it's often willful ignorance on their part (but this isn't always the case, esp. with adoptees and people who are 3rd+ generation, who just might not have the knowledge and resources available). Also, there's a possibility that self-hate is the root of the willful ignorance (I don't want to be seen as too Asian, so I'll try and distance myself from all that.), which is also why it may reflect badly upon a person.

Some argue that being whitewashed simply means "assimilating well" into the American culture. However, this kind of reasoning assumes that only the (currently) dominant culture is worth adhering to. It is also entirely possible to retain your heritage, pride, and culture, and still be a good American.

Oh and yellowworld refers to a secret plan. You'll need to rack up 500 posts before you become privy to it. :tongue: Someone else can explain this, maybe one of the original members?

[Pb2308]

"Some argue that being whitewashed simply means "assimilating well" into the American culture. However, this kind of reasoning assumes that only the (currently) dominant culture is worth adhering to. It is also entirely possible to retain your heritage, pride, and culture, and still be a good American."

gee, thats an excellent point. thanks.

[tripostrophe]

Hey, no problem :)

[hooligan]

I don't think it's bad at all, there's more to it than just being "white-washed". Take it from a mid-twenties punk rock, skateobarding APIA teen. :P

edit:

I just wanted to say that I really like this thread. There's not enough talk about how much the APIA identity needs to be fleshed about and constructed. I'm only recently started to realize how little there was in the way of talking about our collective experiences as Asian Americans.

ABC is right, sometimes being APIA is just ... being APIA. We're Asian Americans. Our experiences are unique upon themselves. There is nothing to compare it to. It's nothing like our immigrant parents, it's nothing comparable to the 1.5 generation of immigrants, but clearly a unique 2nd generation (and subsequent) accumulation of experiences and histories.

In the collective idea of Asian American, yes recent immigrants are included in the broad umbrella of the term, but being APIA is a very different experience. This is a very positive thread in the claiming of an APIA heritage and identity.

[Newtybar]

Nah..I really don't have too much concern in getting girls. I am merely stating that white washed is what ive been called for awhile. It really isn't a bad thing here in Orange County eh? Hahaha.. but still I don't like the term and don't understand the context in which some people define whitewashed. But yes, if you do have any tips on finding, getting, and dating asian american females....let a brotha know haha.

[JesusIsmyFriend]

The way I stand out is I tend to enjoy doing outdoor activities such as hiking, biking, boating, etc. You know, activities that most Asians don't find all that interesting since they would rather hit some club or bar at night.

LOL I think it's going both ways here, maybe you just haven't found the Asians who like hiking, biking, boating,etc. I didn't know Asians only wanted to hit some club or bar at night, in fact I hear the Asian females all want White males. Very interesting what people say.

[JesusIsmyFriend]

I'm adopted and I seem to have issues making friends with real asians.

I've tried before, but apparently I stick out like a sore thumb among asians. I tried to talk to a Korean girl in a club once and the minute I started to speak she said that I was too American for her tastes. Now I realize that it could've been her just blowing me off, but this is far from being an isolated event with me.

This goes beyond just meeting girls though. I had a Vietnamese girlfriend once and her parents absolutely hated me because I didn't have any sort of Asian culture in my life. We dated for 2 years and they refused to meet my white parents. She ended up dumping me for a more asian mate that her parents would approve of.

Anyone else have any experiences like this?


Very interesting story. I think a lot of your experiences sounds more like cultural differences and preferences. Not sure how that approach with the Korean girl went, but maybe she just wasn't interested in you at all? Some people believe that Koreans girls tend to be...feisty?

As for the Vietnamese part, I think that also deals with more cultural differences but there are Vietnamese people out there who adore whites as much as the ones who despise them. You also have to consider the language barrier, did the Vietnamese parents speak fluent English...would your parents get along with them? Sounds like the result was already decided before it could happen.

Anyways hope everything else goes well for you.