Well, it was bound to happen...

[Banana]

I was browsing around my friend's MySpace website and I started browsing through random profiles by way of the "degrees" method. In other words, you click on a link "ad nauseum", until you wind up 8 degrees from where you started.

I happened across the profile of some random girl and after reading her profile, am completely smitten with her. Now, my background has always been the type to have a crush on someone. In high school, it took me almost 3 years to work up the courage to ask a particular girl out. While we dated for a little over a year, it eventually broke up because she went away to college and said that if I asked her sooner, she would have done some research and found a college that specialized in her major nearby.

I was emotionally drained and her words have echoed through my brain for as long as I can remember. In short, he who hesitates, masturbates.

Moving on, this girl is from the same background, is pretty, smart, outgoing, near my location, enjoys many of the same things I do, and most importantly, seems to be single. Many friends warned me to not place any emphasis on her because it's a long shot. They state that I should be focusing on meeting other women in real life and not focus solely on one woman. I have to admit that I've let many girls slip right on by because I've been too focused on one particular girl. I had numerous chances with other girls that passed me by while I was working up the courage to ask that one girl out.

I'm not denying that but I figured I'd try to make friends with her first and see what happens. Who knows? After hearing that I'm going to message her, all my friends think I'm a chump for focusing on this one girl when I could be hooking up with many other women. Are they right? Should I just ignore this girl as a pipe dream?

My question is: What is the net "etiquette" when it comes to trying to establish a connection with someone on these types of sites (MySpace, Facebook, Xanga, etc)? Is it inappropriate to fire off an email or message from a random stranger? To me, that just reeks of creepy.

[Tao]

yeah, it does reek. it's creepy, don't do it.

[mzhsacramento]

post her URL and I'll give you some feedback.

[Tao]

^...ummmm, what?

seriously banana, there's no way you won't come off as super creepy. for your sake, please let it go.

[Tao]

i change my mind, do it....worst case scenario, you'll creep out a stranger...no real loss to you.

[mzhsacramento]

Doesn't the worst case scenario involve the police?

[Tao]

hahaha....true...i'm assuming bender here isn't a psycho....hope that's not too big of a jump here.

[umichmed]

dude you like someone based on a web profile... go meet some chics outside man :wink:

[nameless]

phew...i expected to read "and she hates asian guys, so i'm going to kill myself."

seriously, don't do it man. what are you gonna tell your kids? i stalked mommy on myspace? that's not very romantic.

[SunWuKong]

i only have one question - what have you possibly got to lose?

[Tao]

i only have one question - what have you possibly got to lose?

...his dignity?

[SunWuKong]

...his dignity?

what's that? i shrugged off that burden in high school.

[Tao]

^ i have so much to learn from you

[SunWuKong]

^ i have so much to learn from you

my lessons are simply learnt from being extremely horny and extremely unable to get a date at the same time.

[umichmed]

extremely horny and extremely unable to get a date

not sure i'd want to learn from him

[BigLew]

Lay down the E pipe brother. Send her pictures of your penis!

[Banana]

Heh. Glad to see I put up an entertaining thread.

I'm not sure why it would be such a big deal, meeting or talking to someone online doesn't seem to be that much far off than talking to someone new on the street.

Since when did "hi" garner a response like "OMG! A stalker! Help!"

[deez nuts]

i'd go for it. myspace is a meat market anyways.

[SunWuKong]

i'd go for it. myspace is a meat market anyways.

the web in general is probably the least expensive format to be meeting women. it's a great tool.

[Paradox]

I think you're a freakshow. Just IMO, being in Thailand in all..you'd rank.

[deez nuts]

I'm not sure why it would be such a big deal, meeting or talking to someone online doesn't seem to be that much far off than talking to someone new on the street.


it's not. if anything, it's also a hell of a lot easier to do it online.

the web in general is probably the least expensive format to be meeting women. it's a great tool.

the bigger question is why would anybody dismiss any means to potentially meet a women?

i mean seriously after all the af/wm IR shit that gets spewed on here, at times when there is female(s) input on the matter, a consensus amongst a few asian females based upon their own personal experience on the IR situation that does seem to pop in these threads from time to time in which they've stated that from their experience asian men are generally not as straight foward and willing to take a chance and approach them.

know what you want. find a way to get it and be done with it. i mean the worse thing that can happen is that she says that she's not interested.

pussy doesn't come to you on a platter....unless of course you're me.

[nameless]

I'm not sure why it would be such a big deal, meeting or talking to someone online doesn't seem to be that much far off than talking to someone new on the street.

Since when did "hi" garner a response like "OMG! A stalker! Help!"

I dunno, I just think there's just a greater chance of meeting weirdos online. No one knows for sure what's the truth online (especially physical looks), or know if the other person is messing with you after you've put your thoughts and personal info on a blog. Think about all the crap you could say you have in common haha. But this is just how my paranoid mind thinks. If she likes the attention, she'll conveniently ignore this fact.

[bluemonq]

the only way you'd seem stalkerish is if you were to say something like, "yeah, so i've been reading your profile and your blog and looking at your pictures, and i think you're cute. want to grab lunch sometime?" of course, if you were my old roommate, that would have worked. the bastard...

um, anyways, go ahead and message them; just find something off of their profile to talk about (it *is* myspace, after all) that you might have in common. don't put too much effort/thought into it, but give it a shot.

[SunWuKong]

yeah don't just say something like "hi, let's meet." but definitely shoot her a message to say hi. say something that's not generic but that'll convey that she's an interesting person - regardless of whether or not she actually is interesting.

[Napoleon Chynamite]

I'm not trying to be an insensitive jerk, and I know people are different but...

How'd you fall for someone after looking at their MySpace profile?

Edit: Ok fine, here's an attempt at being helpful. If this girl is really as wonderful as you make her out to be both in looks and in personality or depth, then I'm sure she gets no shortage of PM's from a bunch of random guys, many of which are probably creepy and/or boring/generic. As you probably already know, women are naturally drawn to men who appear to be different from the average guy (different in a good way), and you need to give her a reason to consider you as a potential dating partner because why would she think twice about deleting your PM if all you said was "Hi, I think you're cute." So I guess your best bet would be to say something to her that is original and witty and unique that may slightly indicate interest but also show that you respect and/or admire her hobbies or what she's all about at the same time. It will probably help a lot if your comment has a touch of humor to it, but not like creepy twisted humor.

Although...personally I would never really consider meeting women over the internet. It's like shopping, I need to see the product right there in front of me, and I need to be able to grab it and feel it and turn it to make sure it's what I want.....It's also a long shot too because of all the preoccupations and hesitations that people have about meeting significant others online due to the factors of anonymity and safety.

Anyway that's my advice if you wanna go through with it.

[Banana]

That's the thing, I don't plan on blurting out that she's "oh-so-hot" but rather attempting to establish a rapport through her profession first. I'm just looking to be friends with her first, nothing else. After that, we'll see what happens.

Interestingly enough, I knew one of her friends from high school.

[deez nuts]

just go for it. you're thinking too much. don't be a s.o.b. (shy oriental boy).

"hi, i'm a friend of so and so from high school"

gg!

[kimpossible]

Huh. No one put out an APB for a wing woman? Whatever. Listen, Banana, you need a wing woman to vouch for you. Pick someone. But word to the wise - you fuck it up with one of these chicks in an online social network and don't expect it won't be broadcasted.

Otherwise go for it. Remeber: wing woman.

[sageb1]

Banana, you need the friend from HS to be your wing woman.

[Banana]

The friend is actually a dude.

[eos]

i hope by now you've taken action and not just sit around and read everyone's advice.

just do it. you will either gain a friend or a potential gf. the mutual friend helps too...unless he knows about weird/creepy things you did in hs which he will prolly tell her. otherwise, it's a go.

[deez nuts]

Huh. No one put out an APB for a wing woman? Whatever. Listen, Banana, you need a wing woman to vouch for you. Pick someone. But word to the wise - you fuck it up with one of these chicks in an online social network and don't expect it won't be broadcasted.

Otherwise go for it. Remeber: wing woman.

you can be my wingwoman anytime, maverick.

[SunWuKong]

That's the thing, I don't plan on blurting out that she's "oh-so-hot" but rather attempting to establish a rapport through her profession first. I'm just looking to be friends with her first, nothing else. After that, we'll see what happens.

Interestingly enough, I knew one of her friends from high school.

why are you just looking to "be friends with her first"? it's obvious you want more than that, and there's no way she's going to believe that a random guy messaging her on the web is only interested in being friends.

[eos]

^i agree.

there's no such thing as chivalry or polite manners online. everybody just wants ass.

[SunWuKong]

^i agree.

there's no such thing as chivalry or polite manners online. everybody just wants ass.

right. basically she'll know what you really want, and you'll know she knows what you really want. and you just gotta do the little bullshit social dance by being friendly and neutral until she's comfortable enough with you for you to ask for a date.

[kimpossible]

you can be my wingwoman anytime, maverick.

I am wing woman for one, and only one, man. You have the mercy of a spider. <3

[deez nuts]

women know that guys want ass and are basically pigs. i basically embraced my inner pig and have just been up front about it. you'd be surprised, a lot of women i've encountered actually respect the candidness a lot more. you just have to find the threshold between being candid and being offensive and adjust the threshold accordingly after you feel out the woman.

of course, some guys can pull it off naturally and other guys can't pull it off at all.

[bluemonq]

^i agree.

there's no such thing as chivalry or polite manners online. everybody just wants ass.
oh! you wound me, m'lady.

[sageb1]

You can be sexual candid without talking ebonics.

I know that when a black person is talking about "whores and pimping", she is refering to recreational sex with the boyfriends. "My b*tch, she my 'ho'" is code for "That girl & I are so close we share boyfriends monogamously. That way none of our men are lonely." "B*tch" means "dear friend".

Within Asian culture, such talk is fit for the criminal underbelly. So we try hard to rise above it all.

Please Banana, use bigger words when hitting on her.

Instead of "Yo, bitch! Wanna be my 'ho'?", the correct phrase is "There's a Sting concert on and I got tickets for two. Would you be interested in going?"

Please determine if she's an experienced drinker before inviting her out for sushi dinner at a fine Japanese restaurant, which must have more than a bar and stools. Two tables is the absolute minimum.

Then check and see if the restaurant carries cold Gekkeikan sake or similiar in 13 oz bottles. This is not supposed to be a cheap date.

I myself am still looking for an experienced drinker, who usually happens to be around 25.

By age 30 most women moderate their drinking, lest they get a beer gut and other metabolic problems caused by overdrinking.

[eos]

my deep apologies, brave sir knight.

[kimpossible]

I know that when a black person is talking about whores and pimping, she is refering to recreational sex with the boyfriends.

Excellent. I was wondering for the longest time.

[sageb1]

Hey, I have a black girl on my friends list. At first I couldn't understand her reference to pimps and 'ho's until I was writing the above post.

However, the girls that still go to church probably sleep around with a lot of guilt and won't admit to it. The smart ones do without, which explains black bus ladies.

Why! Black women who talk to themselves have to be repressing the libido obsessively, so much that they go mad.

[deez nuts]

sageb1, when you fuck girls do you look like a squirrel trying to hump an oak tree when you jack hammer thrust the bitch?

[sageb1]

This is why the whites invented Southern Baptist church doctrine.

[sageb1]

sageb1, when you fuck girls do you look like a squirrel trying to hump an oak tree when you jack hammer thrust the bitch?

No, Ima whale rider.

[deez nuts]

No, Ima whale rider.

i thought japanese people kill whales? i just wanna know if you fuck with the fury of a rabid squirrel like a japanese male porn star

[SunWuKong]

sageb1, when you fuck girls do you look like a squirrel trying to hump an oak tree when you jack hammer thrust the bitch?

No, Ima whale rider.

one of the best exchanges here on YW ever.

[eos]

oh mah gawd.....i think i just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

[sageb1]

oh mah gawd.....i think i just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

i've been know to do that to women, who precede to call me "not their type."

[sageb1]

i thought japanese people kill whales? i just wanna know if you fuck with the fury of a rabid squirrel like a japanese male porn star

Meh. Um, no.:biggrin:

[Hiroshi2]

In short, he who hesitates, masturbates.



LOL. Oh god, please let me use that one. Quote of the week!

[Hiroshi2]

In short, he who hesitates, masturbates.



LOL. Oh god, please let me use that one. Quote of the week!


Huh. No one put out an APB for a wing woman? Whatever. Listen, Banana, you need a wing woman to vouch for you. Pick someone. But word to the wise - you fuck it up with one of these chicks in an online social network and don't expect it won't be broadcasted.

Otherwise go for it. Remeber: wing woman.




Stay away from MySpace in general. The wing woman thing works for real life situations, not this internet bullshit.


Seriously though, man - Myspace, Facebook, all of that shit could get you fucked up. Lot of people are learning the hard way. Just try to meet girls the old fashioned way as much as possible.

[Tao]

or go the exact opposite way and find girls on craigslist....that'd be interesting.

[Banana]

LOL. Oh god, please let me use that one. Quote of the week!

Dude, that quote is so old.

I talked to two girls that were brutally honest.

The level of craziness the girls think a guy has on those networking sites is determined by how hot you are. I need some time to revel those abs so I'll message her in a little bit.

[mrazntre]

so? what's the deal?