What exactly is a "mid life crisis" and is it possible to have it before 30?

[Banana]

Just wondering. Never really heard the details on what a "mid life crisis" actually is but I have a sneaking suspicion that some friends of mine, who are below 30 years old, are suffering from it.

[Tao]

you mean a quarter life crisis?

according to med school, we just learned that technically a mid life crisis doesn't exist, and only came about due to the media's influence...so go fig =/

[Arex]

If you're only planning on living a maximum of 60 years, then, yes, you can have your mid-life crisis under 30.

[Banana]

What is it exactly?

[kimpossible]

Generally, a sense that you're getting nowhere fast. Stuck in a rut, no progress and the potential you had in youth is turning or has turned into hasbeen status.

It could be quantified a few ways. Misspent youth, lack of direction, cold feet, indecision. Though I in no way have Tao's med background I pretty much agree it's made up or at least psychological. You can be very aware of your mortality and not be in crisis over it.

On a broad continuum most people have these feelings at some point in time. Part of being human, part of knowing you don't know how much life you have left. In large part the effect is either magnified or minimized based on how you measure success in your life.

Think on this: there is no greater coin in life than time. How will you choose to spend it?

[Craig]

A couple of years ago, my brother was having his mid-life crisis specifically because he was 40 years old ... Yes, it is all in the mind, so age is not an issue ...

[Tao]

yeah basically it can happen to anyone at any age...it's just that in our society we coined a term for it when it's someone in their 40-50s.

[Banana]

Dude, it's not me.

Thanks for the concern but stop PMing me. Haha.

Two of my friends seem to be moping around complaining that they seem to be stuck in a mid life crisis but they're all around my age. I mean, they own a house, have a car, a stable job, have fun with friends, etc.

What's the reason why they feel they're missing out on life?

They're not married with children. How odd is that? Most guys I would figure can't even think of being tied down in their late 20s but would rather get married in their 30s. It's also funny to hear that so many women can't find a man to commit to them and I'm standing right next to 3 of them that want a family.

Personally, I'm not even thinking about marriage until at least 34 but is it normal for these guys to be thinking like this?

[Arex]

I'd say it's probably a bit premature to be whining about not having met someone to settle down with at that age. The fact they're moping probably doesn't help attract the women either. But different people have their own ideal timelines as to when they want to get married or start having kids.

I just got married at 30, but I can't imagine having kids anytime in the next couple of years. Then again, since I don't even have a house, I'm not ready to make that next step anyway. Maybe since they seem to have everything else in place, they're ready to settle down. Because of that, I wouldn't say it's abnormal to want to be married with children, but it doesn't seem typical, at least not among the people I know. For the most part, the only people I know of under 30 with children only had them because they don't know how to use birth control.

What you've described isn't what I'd call mid-life crisis. I associate that more with older folks realizing they're getting old and then doing silly shit in an attempt to reclaim their youth (e.g., buying a sports car, picking up an extreme sport, or trying to hook up with women or men half their age).

[HeyaB!]

well, I've noticed over here just about everyone i know has had this quarter life crisis (thats what we call it too).

situations always the same, late twenties, outwardly successful (or at least on the right path). suddenly, they're not content and make some dramatic change in either career, move overseas, get married or have kids.

i think personally this arises around this age because this is the frist time you really have a chance and the maturity to look around and say WTF??

at uni you're head down studying, then you're working at your job to get established. after about 7ish years of this. the question always pops up, am i happy? is this where i thought i'd be? is this where i wanna be in 10 years? are my priorities right?

then comes 6 months to a year or soul searching/moping/whatever and finally the change (whatever it is) takes place. i've seen it alot and it boils down to a major self initiated course correction to making yourself happy with who you are and where you're going.

and i've never seen someone unhappy after they've made the change

[eos]

^ho.....ly crap. i've thought about doing ALLLLLL those things you listed, in the span of 2-3 months. i know i'm not happy. but why? is it the people around me? is it myself? do i need more medication?

my friend told me her cousin in hk quit his job to sell goldfish. obviously, he doesn't make as much as his previous job but he's happy and i think that's all that counts.

[Faithless]

...
They're not married with children. How odd is that? Most guys I would figure can't even think of being tied down in their late 20s but would rather get married in their 30s. It's also funny to hear that so many women can't find a man to commit to them and I'm standing right next to 3 of them that want a family.

Personally, I'm not even thinking about marriage until at least 34 but is it normal for these guys to be thinking like this?
Get married. Have those kids sooner than later, while you've still got the energy. Later, as in, when parents start thinking of how they're going to pay for their kids' college.

One thing you don't want is for you to beg your kids to play hoops, and they don't because they feel they have to take it easy on you. :frown:

[NextNoName]

I think it's possible. Mid life crisis happens when the internal expectation and the external reality cannot be brought into balance. It doesn't mean it only happen at exact mid life.

[hooligan]

I went through this recently, quarter life crisis sucks. It's like after you get out of college, you ask yourself, now what the fuck. And if you don't know you get to stick around the college you graduated from, wondering why you're so depressed and why the rest of your friends are gone. Seriously. There is such thing as quarter life crisis. It also doesn't help that I have a binge drinking problem.

[misschopstix]

It's also funny to hear that so many women can't find a man to commit to them and I'm standing right next to 3 of them that want a family.

Your guy friends need to meet my girl friends. :tongue:

[BeTheReds]

The key is not to compare yourself to others.