Getting back in touch with my Asian roots

[Banana]

Long story short, I've pretty much been hanging around with non-Asians after I left my high school which happened to be about 45% Asian.

All throughout college and my young professional life, I've been hanging out with non-Asians. Now that I'm in my mid to late 20s, I'm looking to get back in touch with my Asian side and try to make friends with other Asian Americans.

This all started when I visited Asia for the first time after 17 years and found a renewed sense of identity of who I am and want to be. I've always found Asian girls to be just as attractive as any other and have dated them in high school. However, in college, I've only been messing around with white and Latinas. After I came back from my visit, I looked inside myself and found Asian women to be even more attractive than ever before and wish to start mingling with more of them. I was pretty passive about displaying reverence for my Asian background in the past for fear of being mocked so my reasons for dating them was based purely on looks and personality but now there is also a cultural aspect to my attraction. It's just something that non-Asian women can't provide me.

Looking back, I've also noticed that I didn't treat my Asian girlfriends as well as I should have because I was afraid that being with them might make me look less "American." Now, I could give a damn if anyone else thinks I'm American or not.

However, I've been discouraged by several reasons. The biggest two are 1.) how do I start making more Asian friends when I'm constantly surrounded by a white corporate landscape 2.) how do I explain my desire to hang out with more Asians without offending my non-Asian friends and 3.) all this browsing around the internet researching interracial dating articles have me depressed due to the constant quotes from Asian women that they don't find Asian men attractive or how many Asian men have cited that they know quite a few Asian women that think that way as well. If every Asian male knows a couple of these women, wouldn't they comprise a large segment of the population? I've noticed that several different sites have pretty much agreed that it seems 20% of Asian women only date white men, 50% date anyone, and 30% only date Asians. Though that gives me a 80% advantage; I'm not going to lie, it has been demoralizing me to read these stories. Many have told me not to bother with these stories but I've always listened to others' tales to know what to expect down the road. I always try to learn from other peoples' experiences. It's so bad that I've been thinking of just giving up and going back to white, Latin, and black women.

I actually want to see if more Asian women can respond to this but I also wanted to gauge the reactions of Asian men here.

[Banana]

Especially with recent articles like this:

http://www.audreymagazine.com/Sep2005/Features03.asp

My own highly unscientific study — namely, empirical observations and talking to friends, acquaintances, colleagues and people at parties — indicates that I am not alone. Far from it. Besides my friend Claire, I know several other AA women who have never dated another Asian, and in the course of writing this article, I met more — including a surprising number of men. Almost everyone I talked to, Asian and non-Asian said, “Oh, I know someone like that” or “I know someone you should talk to” when I told them the subject of my article.

[nameless]

1) Maybe you can try involving yourself in more Asian related hobbies or communal events (hopefully you live in or are close to Asian populations). And if you aren't interested in the activity itself, just look at it as a means to an end.

2) Don't sweat the IR disparity or those articles (although that one was one of the more insightful that I've read). If I give you statistics on the crime rate, poverty, unemployment, etc. are you going to lose sleep over those possible incidents happening to you? Of course not. The only reason IR stats sting so much more is because its a blow to ones ego. That people (especially women) don't agree with us - specifically, they don't view us as highly as we view ourselves.

In the end, it's out of your control. That's just karma. It's like arguing with a religious person - they think the way they think, and there's pretty much nothing you can do about it. So what if there's only 80% available? It's not like you were going to hook up with every woman in the first place.

[SunWuKong]

volunteer work is a good way to meet more Asian people, and it's a good way to meet girls, too. of course, depending on where you live, there might or may not be much Asian-related volunteer work available.

[LaiSteve66]

Dude, if you can get White or Latina girls, you should have no problem getting an Asian girl. It's all in your head.

As for explaining to your non-Asian friends your desires: you don't have to say anything to them about it. Just start associating with more Asians. It's not like they're going to ask: "Why are you hanging around Asians".

[Banana]

I'm pretty much just cutting and pasting from one of my other posts on another board to save time on explaining my position.

I don't think I live too far away from large Asian American groups since I'm currently in NJ and very close to NYC.

I'm going to be completely honest and say that while I was proud of being Asian American, I've come to realize now that I was merely self-conscious about whether or not other whites viewed me as an American. Looking back, I was completely unfair to the Asian girls I've dated because I was afraid that being with them might make me look less American.

Thus, I view myself now as a reformed "banana" as my name infers. Some other Asians have gotten very defensive of my new found revelations and think I'm doing this just for superficial reasons such as just hooking up with Asian girls. I'm not trying to just "tap Asian booty" for superficial reasons. On the contrary, I'm actually thinking of settling down and starting a family and being with an Asian American girl would be easier to pass on our cultural background without the sexism. Hanging around with Asians is the first step toward that process.

Another thing that I wished I've never done is even research this topic. Throughout high school, college, and during my younger corporate years, I was very confident with who I was in the world. I guess ignorance really is bliss. After reading about the other experiences of Asian men regarding Asian women that hate us, I've noticed I've become more and more self concious of who I am. The only stereotype that these women have that's true with me is that I'm shorter at 5'7". Everything else doesn't apply to me. Now I find myself thinking that if an Asian girl rejects me, could it be because of that one reason?

It has fucked with my mind so much that I find myself needing to go out of my way to destroy those stereotypes such as being more outgoing, talkative, and smiling more. While not bad traits, I now see how much damage researching this topic has done to me.

[SunWuKong]

try getting a job in Asia and living there for a few years.

[kimpossible]

Dude, #1 stop reading the dating shit written online. That's essentially playing mindgames with yourself before you even find a partner. You'll end up trying to magic bullet your identity and relationship issues through perpetual microanalysis and that will make you needy, moody and boring.

Take a break. It's perfectly normal for your needs to change as you get older and I'd recommend that you embrace that change, call it maturing if you like. Whatever. But I'd embark on a new course of living and do something physical and social, someone recommended volunteer work, that would be okay.

Living in Asia takes a lot more commitment and planning. If you're going that route... and I'm neither recommending it nor taking a stand against it... you may want to think of doing it through study rather than a job. More personal development, no boss, less visa hassle, you can concentrate on yourself. Lesser time commitment living abroad.

We only know each other online but from a female perspective you seem like you've steeped yourself in the racial sexual fiasco so much that you forgot that you're going to be measured as a man. I mean, looked at as a man. Your sex and gender are more prominent than you might think. Am I making a shred of sense? Not sure.

[eos]

^brilliant. absolutely brilliant. you are very wise....no wonder you are happily married, great relationship with your mother-in-law, and are raising a smart kid. you will be my role model from now on. *bows*

[inthesky]

i do agree that alot of what's said on the 'net regarding stereotypes is exacerbated. in real life, i find that most ppl don't hold many of these frequently mentioned (on the net) preferences/views... maybe because the world is bigger than those few that constantly post in the forums one frequents...but also majorly because the ones that post/quote are the ones bitchy/opinionated enough to do so.

that dating shit online, i heavily, heavily discount. it's just too inconsistent with my personal experiences.

[hkRT]

I have a few asian co-workers who act like they are embarassed around asian immigrants. One time I was in an elevator, a coworker (not sure which asian ethnicity as I cannot tell by her surname because she married a white guy) came in and acted like she didn't know me. She never talked to me as though she's embarassed but she would talk on and on with other people and some other born-in-Canada asian people like herself. A couple of CBCs (both girls and guys) from work behave similarly distant. BTW, I am a girl, 1.5 generation chinese canadian, speak English and Cantonese, look and behave very fobby, according to some people. I guess, to them, I am not "Canadian" enough. "Canadian" to them, from where I live, pretty much means to behave as "white" as possible. I have also heard of a chinese-canadian family talking about their son (in his early teens, I think) who told them he disliked asian girls and would never date one. Whenever I encounter people with that kind of attitude, it makes me feel both sad, disappointed and somewhat pissed, depending on the situation. I don't understand why they care so much what their white "friends" think if they associate with asians too much, especially the "uncanadian" asian immigrants. I mean, if they are really their friends, then it won't even be an issue at all. Also, what is so embarrassing about people being asian, as in having asian parents born in an asian country? Why do some people just love European accents so much and diss certain asian accents like they are uncivilized because they are too different to understand? For me, I have never had any problem with peer pressure, because quite simply, if those people are so unaccepting, I won't regard them as my peers anyway, so there's no pressure at all.

There's a lot of talk about asian girls selling out, but I see just as many asian guys selling out, in almost equal numbers. Of course, there are people that aren't like that. Another thing I want to point out is, when people date, whatever race the other person is, doesn't that person have a personality, an intelligence in addition to their race? What's an asian girl really? Doesn't she have a name? The same can be said of an asian guy or any other minority whose race and the perceived stereotypes seem to be first and foremost the only thing about the person.

[SunWuKong]

Living in Asia takes a lot more commitment and planning.

honestly, for a young person who is not attached to a significant other, it's really not that hard, especially if he or she is relatively debt-free. you would need to get a job somehow though, and having relatives that could help you out goes a long way. after that, it's mostly a mental hurdle, because it seems like such a big move. but really, for a young and single person, who cares. that's the best time to move overseas.

[deez nuts]

i'm in the opposite situation of you. i have tons of chinese friends. my closest circle of friends are chinese that i've known since high school. a good majority of friends that i've made in college and med school are asian (mostly chinese). i would say it's a rough 50/50 mix of asian and white close acquaintences since i've started working.

i can hold a conversation in mandarin with the fobbiest of fobs. i can sit on the toilet while taking a poo and read the world journal. i can write a handwritten letter to my relatives in taiwan in chinese though they tend to want me to write them in english so they can practice their english.

in terms of moving to china or taiwan, there's no amount of money in the world that would make me want to stay there for a long period of time let alone live there.

i actually would like more white friends and also to meet more white women.

I have a few asian co-workers who act like they are embarassed around asian immigrants.

don't blame them. i'm 1.5 gen chinese and speak fluent mandarin and read and write somewhat fluently and i'm embarrassed to be around some of these recent asian immigrants. they are very uncouth, difficult to deal with and just a fucking eyesore.



We only know each other online but from a female perspective you seem like you've steeped yourself in the racial sexual fiasco so much that you forgot that you're going to be measured as a man. I mean, looked at as a man. Your sex and gender are more prominent than you might think. Am I making a shred of sense? Not sure.

come measure me as a man, kim.

[Banana]

Dude, if you can get White or Latina girls, you should have no problem getting an Asian girl. It's all in your head.

As for explaining to your non-Asian friends your desires: you don't have to say anything to them about it. Just start associating with more Asians. It's not like they're going to ask: "Why are you hanging around Asians".

Well, the white and Latina girls I've been involved with were also born out of a friendship first which is what makes meeting Asian girls a tad harder since I don't know any Asians.

[kimpossible]

honestly, for a young person who is not attached to a significant other, it's really not that hard, especially if he or she is relatively debt-free. you would need to get a job somehow though, and having relatives that could help you out goes a long way. after that, it's mostly a mental hurdle, because it seems like such a big move. but really, for a young and single person, who cares. that's the best time to move overseas.

It's the best time, yeah. But a lot of the better deals have passed by and it's much different to those of us who primarliy grew up in the states. You're used to life in HK as a native. You have a network of family and business contacts in place as well.

I'm just saying Rad, when it's not a natively intuitive living experience, even seemingly little things like going to the doctor and having someone available to take you if you're really sick, and finding a *good* doctor, it's tougher if you're kinda on your own and unused to a different system.

I'd comment more but I don't want to hijack Banana's thread. If you want to prune and move I'd totally be into chatting more about moving. We're looking at it up and down right now. I'd especially like to hear more about HK because there are more job posts there than Taiwan for academics. I feel really strongly about living in Asia once the kid's kindergarten age for elementary school.

Anyhow.

[kimpossible]

come measure me as a man, kim.


If you weren't too much man for me, I would

[AngryABCGirl]

It's the best time, yeah. But a lot of the better deals have passed by and it's much different to those of us who primarliy grew up in the states. You're used to life in HK as a native. You have a network of family and business contacts in place as well.

I'm just saying Rad, when it's not a natively intuitive living experience, even seemingly little things like going to the doctor and having someone available to take you if you're really sick, and finding a *good* doctor, it's tougher if you're kinda on your own and unused to a different system.

I'd comment more but I don't want to hijack Banana's thread. If you want to prune and move I'd totally be into chatting more about moving. We're looking at it up and down right now. I'd especially like to hear more about HK because there are more job posts there than Taiwan for academics. I feel really strongly about living in Asia once the kid's kindergarten age for elementary school.

Anyhow.

I agree with both of you on this one, if I were in any other Asian country, I'd be scared shitless, it really depends how "prepped" you are for the country. I've actually had to take several people to doctors here who were really sick and someone who had an eye infection. While I'm not a native to here, I've culturally and linguistically compenent enough to live here comfortably, so the hardest part for me was leaving behind the networks I have back in California and lifestyle and standards of living and certain commodities. For example, I have a big ass, it's very hard for me to find clothes in Taiwan. I end having to buy giant loads of clothing in Hong Kong. In some cases, depending how I'm dressed, it makes me stick out like a sore thumb. I also really miss sports culture. It's hard to find girls, or guys, to play basketball with that don't mind being hit to the ground and then go have a beer after and watch a game.

Hong Kong is definitely the easiest place, probably next to Singapore, for a Westerner to live in Asia. A lot of things in Taiwan aren't quite up to international standard. From my perspective, it's actually really hard for a young person to take off and spend their youth someplace when they aren't totally set yet on a direction in life, at least from my experience. It's not easy feeling directionless in life without close friends. Plus I think it's harder for women to go back to Asia then men, because of the difference in gender role expectations. Most women, regardless of ethnicity, when they go to a Western country tend to take the culture or be more influenced by the freer options in that country more than immigrant men, so it's harder for you to adjust and for people to accept you. I've had a lot of conversations regarding this with a lot of 1.5 gen women here.

Another thing, unless you have a great degree from a great school in certain fields that are in demand- like business or technology or are ridiculously good-looking or have connections or ridiculously talented - none of which I possess, finding a good job (finding a job is easy) isn't that easy. I already decided I'm going back to the States to get an MBA at a top-tier school before I come back out here and also to make some more connections with like-minded people.

Most of the circle of friends in college mainly consisted Asian American activist types and indie film people and HK fobs- neither of which help me much here in Taipei. Part of this is why I eventually want to make a move to Hong Kong, plus the economy and opportunities are just so much better, but I don't have the degree to get a non-crappy job when I can find a better one in the US at this point in my life. I can earn great wages in Asia relative to standard of living compared to what I'd be doing entry level in the US, but I'd rather do a challenging job at this point anywhere than just picking it relative to location.

Sorry hijacked thread. But seriously, getting in touch with your Asian side so to speak is not about dating girls or doing this and that, but about reflecting on your values, past, present, and future more than anything, from my perspective. I see a lot of ABCs, not to mention freaky 老外s who want to date "the natives" for the cultural experience, but I don't think that brings them closer to anything, except fulfilling some sexual fantasy maybe. In a way it's like thinking fucking a nun or a monk will bring you closer to god.

[deez nuts]

I'm just saying Rad, when it's not a natively intuitive living experience, even seemingly little things like going to the doctor and having someone available to take you if you're really sick, and finding a *good* doctor, it's tougher if you're kinda on your own and unused to a different system.



i concur. i don't really trust doctors overseas. it's the main reason i am adamant against my parents moving back.

in regards to your situation, from the sound of it it seems you just want a greater social network of asians around your area. spending a long period of time in asia is not answer to your situation in my opinion. even if you do spend a period of time in asia, it will not solve your predicament here in the united states. asians here in the united states and asians in asia are two very seperate entities. it's two different scenerios.

i suggest being more outgoing in meeting asian people and in terms of dating asian women put yourself out there and take the initiative. if you live close to nyc, it's really not that difficult to do. in terms of dating: meeting asian women or any women for that matter is not that hard in ny. you just have to take risks and be thick skinned about women saying that they're not interested. dealing with possible rejection is a fact of life for all guys. maybe get an asian practice chick and move up the ladder - i'm actually being serious here.

if you want to get back to your roots and re-familiarizing yourself or learning the culture, then spending some time in asia is a possible solution. but trying to build a social network of asians around your area here in the united states, it probably won't do you much good to spend a long period of time overseas.

[BigLew]

- i'm actually being serious here.

Holy shit, it's been a few years huh?

[deez nuts]

Holy shit, it's been a few years huh?

hahaha. what can i say, the dude seemed to be in pain.

[SunWuKong]

in terms of dating: meeting asian women or any women for that matter is not that hard in ny. you just have to take risks and be thick skinned about women saying that they're not interested. dealing with possible rejection is a fact of life for all guys.

can't agree with this more. you really have to stick your neck out and just take a chance if you want to meet more women. yeah you're going to get rejected, but the fact is that a lot of women out there are also waiting for men to approach them.

[kimpossible]

i concur. i don't really trust doctors overseas. it's the main reason i am adamant against my parents moving back.



It's not that bad if you have connections. You probably would.

Sorry Banana, I'm going off topic.

I think there's a good case for our parents living like half the time in Taiwan. Med is free for citizens. Dad's retiring in a few years. He'll probably routine stuff there and for anything serious he'll use his doctor in the states. When citizenship isn't an issue I think 50/50 timeshare in US and Taiwan isn't a bad retirement plan for that generation. There's pros and cons to life in both places.

[kimpossible]

Yes, sir. That's what I said. Routine. Eh, asking your input is always going to be standard for your family members because you're the doctor in the family. Hell, we've come to you because we know you and we don't have a doctor in the family. You and a couple of other guys we know. And they usually come to us for tech related issues because they don't have any tech experts.

[SunWuKong]

It's not that bad if you have connections. You probably would.

Sorry Banana, I'm going off topic.

I think there's a good case for our parents living like half the time in Taiwan. Med is free for citizens. Dad's retiring in a few years. He'll probably routine stuff there and for anything serious he'll use his doctor in the states. When citizenship isn't an issue I think 50/50 timeshare in US and Taiwan isn't a bad retirement plan for that generation. There's pros and cons to life in both places.

i've never had any serious medical problems while i was in HK, so i can't speak for those situations. but all my doctor and dentist visits have been great there. one thing that i liked was that they were really fast. the most serious problem i've probably had was food poisoning. the doctor stuck a needle in my butt cheek and i was out of his office with drugs in hand. whole visit probably took half an hour and i was better the next day. also had a wisdom tooth pulled in HK, that took all of about half an hour also from beginning to end - didn't need to have a "consultation" and then schedule a later appointment or anything. he took some x-rays and pulled it out.

[deez nuts]

balls, i deleted my post by accident. talking to someone on aim, looking at baby pics and on the phone while trying to edit.


It's not that bad if you have connections. You probably would.

Sorry Banana, I'm going off topic.

I think there's a good case for our parents living like half the time in Taiwan. Med is free for citizens. Dad's retiring in a few years. He'll probably routine stuff there and for anything serious he'll use his doctor in the states. When citizenship isn't an issue I think 50/50 timeshare in US and Taiwan isn't a bad retirement plan for that generation. There's pros and cons to life in both places.


not really. my uncles always come to me as the final say or have me talk to a trusted specialist here as a final decision. the tai da graduate doctors (supposedly the best of the best) don't impress me at all and besides most of the best of the best of the tai da grads will inevitably end up at a top tier hospital here in the usa.

but like you said: routine check ups are fine. monitoring an existing condition or state of the art clinical treatment or clinical trials, or performing any high risk procedure especially on family and close friends: no way.

[deez nuts]

Yes, sir. That's what I said. Routine. Eh, asking your input is always going to be standard for your family members because you're the doctor in the family. Hell, we've come to you because we know you and we don't have a doctor in the family. You and a couple of other guys we know. And they usually come to us for tech related issues because they don't have any tech experts.

move down to north carolina with me and i'll put you guys in my network ;)

[AngryABCGirl]

It's not that bad if you have connections. You probably would.

Sorry Banana, I'm going off topic.

I think there's a good case for our parents living like half the time in Taiwan. Med is free for citizens. Dad's retiring in a few years. He'll probably routine stuff there and for anything serious he'll use his doctor in the states. When citizenship isn't an issue I think 50/50 timeshare in US and Taiwan isn't a bad retirement plan for that generation. There's pros and cons to life in both places.

Definitely with you on pros and cons. I'd honestly feel a lot better if my parents retired in here in Taipei and did the 50/50 thing between Los Angeles. I've been thinking of this a lot lately because my parents are older and my aunts and uncles have started to retire. There's more family and friend networks here for them and low-price routine health care with the nationalized insurance. Plus they can afford to go see expat doctors if necessary, specialists in Hong Kong, or fly back to LA for more critical health care. Plus public transit and more old-people oriented activities for them to participate and things are just closer to each other.

They're disturbingly obsessed with Los Angeles though, so I think they're kind of staying put, but they can't drive forever. I have to agree with them Taipei weather is shit. They kind of want to purchase a vacation home in the Mainland though, which I think is a good investment, but I would hella never want to live there.

[kimpossible]

Jesus Christ. I'm not going to goddamned North Carolina.

[deez nuts]

Jesus Christ. I'm not going to goddamned North Carolina.

it's duke and not in some backwoods hick cracker trailer park. come on raleigh-durham-chapel hill and the research triangle.

edit: you guys can come over every weekend for huo guo! that is the fun.

[SunWuKong]

And they usually come to us for tech related issues because they don't have any tech experts.

that can get annoying. last week i had to help my father's friend who lives in San Francisco set up his wireless router by talking him through it on the phone. and every couple of weeks or so, i'd get a call from my father about stuff like all his desktop icons are missing and how he can fix it.

[Arex]

LOL! Banana's thread got completely hijacked!

Banana, you don't have ANY Asian friends at all? What about friends with Asian friends or significant others?

There have got to be mixers out there for young Asian American professionals. Out here, we have APEX (http://www.apex.org/Default.php). Basically a meat market as I understand it. (Ask Kasia!)

And I agree with everyone else who's saying don't internalize what you read on the internet. Remember, the biggest losers and the ones with the biggest chips on their shoulders are generally going to be the most vocal. Everyone else is out there scoring.

[lethal]

Also, I think you might've mentioned once that you were in New York. If so, there are a couple groups of so-called "young Asian Professionals" that get together fairly often.

http://asianpros.meetup.com/24/boards/

http://www.apex-ny.org/

[eos]

yes definitely search out those social groups. i didn't even know there was a chinese young adult network until my cousin told me about it. i thought it was something lame but they actually do cool things like bowling, rock climbing, community events...an upcoming outing is to see an asian-american improv duo at the second city.

[kimpossible]

How about finding YWers in your area? You kind of know people here online already.

[kimpossible]

Howzit going, Banana? Report card time. Were we at all encouraging or did we dig you deeper?

[sageb1]

So, do any of you kids have aunties who are either single or divorced and still like Asian men, but not so much for looks or financial security?

Cos I have dai yuan fen.

[AngryABCGirl]

I don't think anyone has mentioned this yet, have you thought about getting involved in community groups/volunteering for Asian-based organizations in your area? I have the impression a lot of need in low-income and new immigrant communities for young professionals to volunteer at these organizations, especially as mentors. It's also a good place to meet like-minded people and a great way to give back.

[Banana]

Well, not progress has been made in such a short amount of time. Sorry, my firm is upgrading their Exchange servers so I haven't been posting much.

I understand what you guys are telling me but it's going to be a bit slow going when it comes to hanging out with Asian people considering I would be alone in going to those functions like Lethal mentioned but I'll eventually give it a try.

I'm not sure if anyone realizes how difficult it actually is. Thanks for the tips though. Keep them coming. :D

[BigLew]

I understand what you guys are telling me but it's going to be a bit slow going when it comes to hanging out with Asian people considering I would be alone in going to those functions like Lethal mentioned but I'll eventually give it a try.

Just get drunk before hand it'll be okay. And if you make an ass of yourself, who cares? You were drunk.

[SunWuKong]

I understand what you guys are telling me but it's going to be a bit slow going when it comes to hanging out with Asian people considering I would be alone in going to those functions like Lethal mentioned but I'll eventually give it a try.

it's really not that bad doing stuff alone. but i'm used to it because i've moved around and am used to having to make new friends. if you do not like going to these functions, i suggest you regularly frequent Asian neighborhoods and businesses on your time off. after a while people will recognise you and then it's easy to start talking to them. this especially makes approaching girls easier, actually.

[dej2]

Banana
When I was single, I used to volunteer at a Bingo parlor that raised money to help supplement an Asian Retirement home. Though the patrons where really old... the other volunteers where grandchildren of people who had relatives in the home. It was a good place to meet Asian women. There are also cultural organizations that put on events like the Pacific Rim festival... volunteer the help in those events. Your bound to meet asian women. Take an Asian language class... lots of Asians take these classes because they want to plan a vacation and travel back to see their roots, and want a better understanding of the lanuage or to just brush up on what they already know.

[kimpossible]

Banana
When I was single, I used to volunteer at a Bingo parlor that raised money to help supplement an Asian Retirement home. Though the patrons where really old... the other volunteers where grandchildren of people who had relatives in the home. It was a good place to meet Asian women.

I had to re-read a couple of sentences to make sure you weren't GILF hunting. Good on you. Score!

[j&j2]

Well, not progress has been made in such a short amount of time. Sorry, my firm is upgrading their Exchange servers so I haven't been posting much.

I understand what you guys are telling me but it's going to be a bit slow going when it comes to hanging out with Asian people considering I would be alone in going to those functions like Lethal mentioned but I'll eventually give it a try.

I'm not sure if anyone realizes how difficult it actually is. Thanks for the tips though. Keep them coming. :D

B -

I used to be in the exact same shoes as you.

I didn't know any Asians (well, East Asians anyway) in NYC until I met a Korean girl who ended up taking me to those Korean get-togethers (the key is to befriend one person who is part of the NYC "Asian scene").

Surely, it's not impossible for you to meet an Asian girl in NYC - whether it is thru work or some other venue?

[Banana]

We'll see.

I don't plan on doing this until I head back to school for my new career since my school has lots of Asians.

It's weird, I just don't have this problem with any other girls, just Asian women. Maybe Asian women just find me unattractive. /shrug

White, black, and Latin girls were interested in me. Even Asian mothers and grandmothers loved me. Asian girls just seem to be indifferent.

Never had this experience with white, Latin, or black women. Last week, a really hot white girl just came out of nowhere and started chatting with me. The funny thing is that she was at least a 4 inches taller than me. I'm only 5'7".

Girl was an amazon. Only thing that bothered me was that she she said "like" alot. Almost every 5th word as "like."

She may have had an Asian fetish since she kept talking about how her Asian courses in college, all the Asians in her home town, and how she's trying to learn Korean or Chinese.

We got on the topic of Asian guys dating out and asked why Asian guys don't date out more. I replied honestly and said Asian guys are mostly intimidated by white girls or are so demoralized by constant media bombardment that they feel white girls that hit on them doing so because they need something. Another reason was because I, personally, find every race of women hot but I want to date Asian women because they remind me of myself and I love me. haha. Least she found that amusing.

Now that I think about it, I should have given her Deez's phone number if I had it.

[kimpossible]

Dude. That one was falling into your lap. More Klingon shunning for you.

[SunWuKong]

Never had this experience with white, Latin, or black women. Last week, a really hot white girl just came out of nowhere and started chatting with me. The funny thing is that she was at least a 4 inches taller than me. I'm only 5'7".

Girl was an amazon. Only thing that bothered me was that she she said "like" alot. Almost every 5th word as "like."

She may have had an Asian fetish since she kept talking about how her Asian courses in college, all the Asians in her home town, and how she's trying to learn Korean or Chinese.

We got on the topic of Asian guys dating out and asked why Asian guys don't date out more. I replied honestly and said Asian guys are mostly intimidated by white girls or are so demoralized by constant media bombardment that they feel white girls that hit on them doing so because they need something. Another reason was because I, personally, find every race of women hot but I want to date Asian women because they remind me of myself and I love me. haha. Least she found that amusing.

what the hell. it was as if you were sitting there on the dock fishing, and a fish actually jumped into your bucket, but you threw it back in the water.

[deez nuts]

Now that I think about it, I should have given her Deez's phone number if I had it.

like i said in akane21's thread about love and needing space and all that good stuff, i am willing to share. pussy on a platter is best shared like a peter luger's porterhouse.

i know what you're thinking and there's no need to say it, i too am amazed at how generous i am.

[Azn Retribution]

Echoing the others.
Social groups.
Use em.

If your in school.
your local Asian student association / Filipino Student Association / Chinese Student Association / et all.

There's lots of APA organizational stuff around if you look. Check china/korea/etc town.

[Banana]

what the hell. it was as if you were sitting there on the dock fishing, and a fish actually jumped into your bucket, but you threw it back in the water.

SWK, she's much taller than me and she wasn't even wearing heels. Something like just makes me feel...odd. Maybe I did pass up a good chance with a hot girl but I'm looking to go the extra mile for that elusive Asian hottie.

It's so fuckin' weird. I did this complete 180 since I've been in high school/college. I've always chased after and dated white girls, much to the annoyance of Asian girls, and encouraged Asian guys to date out as well which pissed off Asian girls even more.

Then, after a few years, I did a complete 180 and realized how stupid as shit I was and am now after really nice Asian girls. That and I actually get pissed off when I see Asian guys with non-Asian women.

haha, i have issues.

Well, the good news is that this white girl is actually working for the same company and I think i know what department she works for. if not, i'll more than likely bump into her in our building at some point.

what's also funny as shit was that i noticed all the white guys staring at us. that and some co-workers would come up to talk to me about stupid shit in a small hope that they would be able to talk to her. it didn't work.

[kimpossible]

Bring her here and let her order off the menu. She'll probably get free delivery. Help your brothers win at life.

[deez nuts]

what's also funny as shit was that i noticed all the white guys staring at us. that and some co-workers would come up to talk to me about stupid shit in a small hope that they would be able to talk to her. it didn't work.

the stares from white guys are pretty common. the best part is when some random white guy(s) on the street comes up to her and asks her if you're rich (implying that is the only reason she's with you) when you're walking down the street with her. that always cracks me up.

but all in all, it's all worth it. white women are awesome. they really know the concept of give and take in a relationship better than any race of women i have ever dated. nothing but positive experiences from all the white women i've dated and i've dated a lot.

[kimpossible]

That and I actually get pissed off when I see Asian guys with non-Asian women.


My family reunions would possibly drive you into a beserker frenzy.

[deez nuts]

SWK, she's much taller than me and she wasn't even wearing heels. Something like just makes me feel...odd. Maybe I did pass up a good chance with a hot girl but I'm looking to go the extra mile for that elusive Asian hottie.


i dont think u dating a woman taller than you is a bad thing. if you guys get married, it basically almost ensures that your children especially if you have a son will be tall. it gives your gene pool a boost.

i mean to be bluntly honest, 5'7 is not tall. i mean it's not short but it's probably not the height women look for in terms of an initial impression in general unless she's short herself. marrying a woman that's tall or even taller than you basically ensures that your son won't have any height woes when he starts looking for women to date.

[Deadpool]

SWK, she's much taller than me and she wasn't even wearing heels. Something like just makes me feel...odd. Maybe I did pass up a good chance with a hot girl but I'm looking to go the extra mile for that elusive Asian hottie.



Whats wrong with tall girls? They got nice legs.
It's weird to see guy get all insecure about girls taller than them.
Going out with a pretty woman taller than you rocks.
I love how it pisses other insecure people off like it shouldn't happen or its not supposed to happen.

[Banana]

I know 5'7" isn't tall and is actually considered short.

[Deadpool]

I know 5'7" isn't tall and is actually considered short.

Meet Gabriele D'Annunzio. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gabriele_D'Annunzio
Super short ( I think a lot shorter than 5'7), Bald and ugly.

Known as one of historys greatest womanizers.
He got more ass than a womans toilet seat at a Def Leppard concert.
Most of the women he conquered were of royalty and affluence despite having no title or riches. He also seduced women that were poets and novelists.
When he went to Royal gatherings as a journalist, all the over protective husbands of "Quality" women would mock him becuase of his "grotesque" stature and would allow him to mingle and speak with all the women because they thought he was not a threat.
They would soon realize that they unleashed a beast as he would seemingly cast a spell over all the women of the court and they became infatuated with him.

[Banana]

Somehow, the idea of being compared to a 20th century facist goon doesn't appeal to me but thanks anyway. Haha.

Anyway, I met up with my two cousins and their girlfriends for dinner. One of the girls asked me when I start college to which I replied "In Aug will be the first semester."

"What are you majoring in?"

"Going to get a major in finance or economics since I don't enjoy computer science all that much. I wasted that degree, I think."

"Wait, what? You already have a degree? I thought you were starting college this Aug."

Cousin: "He is. He's going back to school for a career change."

"How old are you?"

"28"

"Oh, my god. I thought you were 19."

I think I figured out the problem. Combined with my height and babyface, women think I'm much younger than I actually am. Three Korean women at our local deli at the office thought I was 22.

All sorts of "older" white women (35+) keep pinching my cheeks and saying how "cute" I was. A girl at our office, when we first met, remarked about my babyface and thought I was an intern.

It's all starting to make sense. Last weekend, a group of high school age girls kept talking to me at the local Chili's resturant and the daughter of the owner of our hair salon kept flirting with me. She couldn't have been more than 17 years old.

So, that begs the question, are all the women that went out with me going to be future child molesters?

Even more of a fuckin' reason to hit the weights harder than ever before. With a ripped body and less fat on the face, it should help to make me look older.

[Tao]

^dude wtf, quit posting on yw and start banging some chicks.

[nameless]

Even more of a fuckin' reason to hit the weights harder than ever before. With a ripped body and less fat on the face, it should help to make me look older.

Don't mean to burst your bubble, but the thin face and good physique only makes them think you are in the high school wrestling team. Well, at least for me, hope it's different for you. But aren't you the one who posted the article about the face, not the body, causing attraction? Don't mean to be a downer, just saying.

Just hook up with a young looking Asian chick. But make sure she really isn't in high school. I hate when that happens.

[Banana]

^dude wtf, quit posting on yw and start banging some chicks.

All the ones I know at present moment are fugly. And why are you posting on the boards?

And yes, Nameless, I posted that article but I think that having a more angular face makes one look older. Course I could be completely wrong which is a high possibility.

[yoMAMA]

Banana you got game!

[Deadpool]

It's all starting to make sense. Last weekend, a group of high school age girls kept talking to me at the local Chili's resturant and the daughter of the owner of our hair salon kept flirting with me. She couldn't have been more than 17 years old.



If theres grass on the field......

Do what I did. Grow facial hair.
The drawback is when I have facial hair I get more attention from white girls and less from asian girls.
When I shave its vice versa.
:frown:

[Tao]

All the ones I know at present moment are fugly. And why are you posting on the boards?

And yes, Nameless, I posted that article but I think that having a more angular face makes one look older. Course I could be completely wrong which is a high possibility.

just tell the teenie bopper to sign a consent form before you do her.

[Tao]

All the ones I know at present moment are fugly. And why are you posting on the boards?


paper bag it. i'm posting cause my sleep schedule is really really fucked up. I sleep at 4-5 am and wake up at 2pm now.

[deez nuts]

I know 5'7" isn't tall and is actually considered short.

not if you date some smurf chick that's like 5'2-5'3'ish. but you are right, even most of the smurf chicks are looking for guys 5'10 and up.

i got set up with this korean chick by my best friend's mom that was like 5' tops, she wouldn't date any guy under 5'10 lol.

[Banana]

not if you date some smurf chick that's like 5'2-5'3'ish. but you are right, even most of the smurf chicks are looking for guys 5'10 and up.

i got set up with this korean chick by my best friend's mom that was like 5' tops, she wouldn't date any guy under 5'10 lol.

Eh, that's just stupid but I guess I have to make due with what I got.

[eos]

i agree with tony. BANG SOME CHICKS ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

who cares if she's fugly? that's what doggie style is for.

[Banana]

i agree with tony. BANG SOME CHICKS ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

who cares if she's fugly? that's what doggie style is for.

I can get it up unless I'm attracted to her. Besides, they're also somewhat overweight.

[eos]

that is what alcohol is for.

[SunWuKong]

SWK, she's much taller than me and she wasn't even wearing heels. Something like just makes me feel...odd. Maybe I did pass up a good chance with a hot girl but I'm looking to go the extra mile for that elusive Asian hottie.

did i mention i'm 5'6" and i'm shorter than both my current girlfriend and my college girlfriend?

[Tao]

did i mention i'm 5'6" and i'm shorter than both my current girlfriend and my college girlfriend?

what's your secret monkey king? tell us.

[popculturepooka]

That's kinda wierd that you have problems with finding asian girls...I mean I'm not even full asian and I don't have any problems.

If I can do it, you can.

*thumbs up*

Don't they have a (insert asian ethnicity)-town around there?

[deez nuts]

what's your secret monkey king? tell us.

having met the both of them, i will vouch to the fact that his girlfriend, rice cracker, is fucking hot. he's definitely outdone himself.

[SunWuKong]

what's your secret monkey king? tell us.

my secret is to trick my mind into thinking that i look like Yul Kwon from Survivor whenever i approach women, when in reality i look more like Masi Oka from Heroes. it's not easy to do and takes lots of practice. you guys better start now if you want to be as awesome as me.

[yoMAMA]

Rad's got mad game.

He is indeed, the one and only 齊天大聖.

[pikachupacabra]

That's because he's the monkey king and all the girls want to see his ever-expanding magical cudgel.

[yoMAMA]

Bring her here and let her order off the menu. She'll probably get free delivery. Help your brothers win at life.

LOL!

Kim is the fairy godmother of all asian guys on yw.

[yoMAMA]

He got more ass than a womans toilet seat at a Def Leppard concert.


man i love this thread!

:biggrin:

[kimpossible]

LOL!

Kim is the fairy godmother of all asian guys on yw.

No. I'm a jerk and have only sporadic mercy. There's a difference.

[SunWuKong]

anyway...

Banana, seriously, you got to stop thinking about shit so much and just go for it. stop putting the pussy on a pedestal.

i'm not trying to make it sound like i have it easy with the ladies, but shit, if i'm always thinking about why this girl or that girl might not like me, or how i'm too short or too fat or i have too much hair on my back, i might as well have kissed my social life away. because when i was single, i probably got rejected about 10 times more than i was able to get a date. just fucking go for it.

[deez nuts]

between this thread and akane's thread, it's almost seems like teaching a toddler to walk and then when they take their first steps, encouraging them to keep going.

i was gonna use an analogy using retarded kids. but, i decided against it cuz toddlers are cute. retarded kids are not cute.

[Dimeron]

That's because he's the monkey king and all the girls want to see his ever-expanding magical cudgel.

Damn, someone made the size changing rod joke before I could.:frown:

[eos]

between this thread and akane's thread, it's almost seems like teaching a toddler to walk and then when they take their first steps, encouraging them to keep going.

i was gonna use an analogy using retarded kids. but, i decided against it cuz toddlers are cute. retarded kids are not cute.

mm.....stfu.

i don't have a problem anymore. took care of that yesterday.

[Arex]

Whats wrong with tall girls? They got nice legs.
It's weird to see guy get all insecure about girls taller than them.
Going out with a pretty woman taller than you rocks.
I love how it pisses other insecure people off like it shouldn't happen or its not supposed to happen.Word. I have friends who've said they don't want to date a woman who's taller or makes more money than them. These friends of mine are stupid. If some tall, rich (and hot) woman wants to have my baby, sign me up!

(Or rather, if I were single, sign me up.)

[teamliquid]

Banana = Vahz?

Holy crap.

[teamliquid]

I just found out that you live in New Jersey, so you really are Vahz. The guy that gave the seat up for that Japanese chick on the bus right?

[nameless]

oh shit, reality and online life are colliding. time to spill the dirt liquid.

j/k banana

[pikachupacabra]

What the hell are you guys talking about

[kimpossible]

Likely a dupe recounting on another board assuming Vahz is a screen name.

[yoMAMA]

What the hell are you guys talking about

must be some kind of insider joke.

:wink:

[kimpossible]

No.... he's saying Banana uses a different screen name on another forum. No idea how that's shocking but whatevs.

[nameless]

oh I actually thought they had met in real life. didn't cross my mind that Banana posted on different message boards...ya know, cuz I thought we were special. :sad:

[sageb1]

I've noticed that in my 'hood (Surrey and Vancouver), the average height of women is 5'4 and that of men, 5'7. Though I've seen a guy over 6' and also a couple women over 5'9.

And yes, Asian women are usually under 5'4. The average is about 5'2.

Yet Asian women my age seem so jaded.