Why do Asian girls fall for white guys video [Archive]

asari6

11-27-2006, 05:53 AM

This is coming from an Asian chick, there are way too many factors to explain why they go for white guys. But I'll try to explain them. I use to be okay w/ it, meaning I was one of those chicks thinking Asian guys sux..and white guys rule. But now It seems disgusting to me. It seems really weird. Half of my friends have white boyfriends...and every time I see them together...I can't help but be disgusted. Back to what I was originally saying here are some of the factors, a)physical attributes..height build b) personality..shyness, girlyness/metro d/and then theres the streyotypes..u know either our the car racing dude...the smart engineer mit dude...and the twinkie. Well I can't say those are what all Asian women look at. But thats what I look at. I'm, not a tiny Asian chick. I'm 5'5''..but look taller cuase of my build, a "normal build" not a tiny Asian girl build. So it would look weird if I was going out w/ someone who was smaller then me. I see some Asian guys that are shy, but who isn't when they first meet each other?? At least a lil shy. S o I don't really look at that. But the other things I really do hate...and won't date any of them. I'm not about to date a twinkie...a geek..but there not bad...have a few geeky friends, and I'm not about to date a street racer guy. I guess the main thing w/ me is that its hard to find a asian guy who's build is bigger then me. So I look else where for bf material, But not some blond surfer dude. It sort of seems like asian chicks esp. in america are so americanized...and the blond surfer guy is the one they want. (Funny my firends bfs are all fair skin and blondish hair..no dark hair) Its the environment they live in. Seriously look at the Ambercrombie photo spreads..and A & E. I could rant forever about this...but won't. Oh and just so I don't piss anyone off..esp those ladies out there. I know that not all of you are into the blond sufer guy ...just the white guy thing. I myself like a mix guy.

monkeygone2

11-27-2006, 08:08 AM

^
Wtf?!?

Banana

11-27-2006, 01:46 PM

Pfft. Why worry?

It's all about eugenics. The Asian women that are stupid enough to be persuaded by mass media distortions deserve to have white mates in order to be bred out of the community. If anything, it's making the community stronger by removing the weak-willed Asian women.

If anything, white men are doing us a favor.

I kid. Or do I?

bluemonq

11-27-2006, 02:57 PM

...but eugenics would imply that there's a master plan, which means that there's a shadowy organization running this thing.

NHK, anyone?

eos

11-27-2006, 04:25 PM

watching this made me sick. i have never ever ever said to my friends any of the stuff those sorry excuses for asian girls said and vice versa. are we in the minority here? are we....abnormal???? i mean, you guys like it when i say that i find asian guys the hottest and sexiest, right? seriously, my heart is just racing thinking about asian guys.

BigLew

11-27-2006, 04:46 PM

I'm 5'5''..but look taller cuase of my build, a "normal build" not a tiny Asian girl build. ...I guess the main thing w/ me is that its hard to find a asian guy who's build is bigger then me.

Come to daddy!

BigLew

11-27-2006, 04:48 PM

i mean, you guys like it when i say that i find asian guys the hottest and sexiest, right? seriously, my heart is just racing thinking about asian guys.

No no, just me. I don't care what you think about other asian guys.

Banana

11-27-2006, 04:49 PM

It's social darwinism at it's best.

"The problem with Scotland is that it's full of Scots. I think it's about time to reinstitute Prima Nocte, yes? If we can't get them out, we'll breed them out."

deez nuts

11-27-2006, 07:49 PM

I'm 5'5''..but look taller cuase of my build, a "normal build" not a tiny Asian girl build. So it would look weird if I was going out w/ someone who was smaller then me.

you should date a black guy. they'll plow you good.

hooligan

11-27-2006, 07:50 PM

I heard plows plow good, especially with asses.

deez nuts

11-27-2006, 08:18 PM

i'm just the asshole and i get plowed and never get to do any plowing.

hooligan

11-27-2006, 08:19 PM

i'm just the asshole and i get plowed and never get to do any plowing.

That's exactly how I feel about life right now, my asshole hurts. : 3

edit for smily

eos

11-27-2006, 08:22 PM

my ass hurts too, but it's not because of life.

deez nuts

11-27-2006, 08:22 PM

anal fissures suck.

eos

11-27-2006, 08:26 PM

^you didn't take the bait.
i thought you were going to say something about sex. i read you wrong.

robotic

11-27-2006, 09:20 PM

are tall asian guys really that rare?
they ought to come over to my school, these girls! *shakes fists*

ahsingjai

11-30-2006, 01:55 PM

I was at Royal Ground cafe at berkeley. All ugly girls. Maybe one ok cute.

In conclusion, this video sucks.

TB4000

11-30-2006, 05:08 PM

mr. x

11-30-2006, 08:32 PM

Off topic, but my sister is now currently seeing a white dude she met on campus, though he would be the first time she's done so. Mom's not exactly thrilled. And he's a cop to boot, so it's a double whammy. Though I guess he can hook me up as far as ticket "disappearance." I notice when it comes to white dudes dating black girls, they always seem to locate the ones that look like models. Though my sis would be the exception. =P

I notice a lot of white dudes who pick an example of a hot black woman go for Beyonce. I think mainly it's a body type thing, lighter skinned black women with "that" physique and less err..."ethnic" features will have more "crossover" appeal

HanSolo

04-11-2008, 01:34 AM

thank god, im 6ft2.....these chiks are stupid

oh yeah, thank god im korean too

mndeg

04-19-2008, 06:54 PM

Banana

04-20-2008, 12:31 PM

I find it's a defense excuse on how they magically ended up with some white guy. A white friend of mine said that the reason why this pairing is so popular is because both white men and Asian women have a fetish for each other. It's not one-sided.

When all is said in done, a great story I remember was when this "Americanized" Asian girl said that she always looked for an Asian American guy who wasn't a twinkie and wasn't a fob. She could find him so she went for the next closest thing, a white guy.

Eh?

I know there is a shitload of focus on Asian men when it comes to this debate but there is very little light shed on the Asian women's side. It's like the level of criticism is always directed at Asian men.

Sunflare

04-20-2008, 12:50 PM

I find it's a defense excuse on how they magically ended up with some white guy. A white friend of mine said that the reason why this pairing is so popular is because both white men and Asian women have a fetish for each other. It's not one-sided.

I know there is a shitload of focus on Asian men when it comes to this debate but there is very little light shed on the Asian women's side. It's like the level of criticism is always directed at Asian men.

Unfortunately, there isn't enough AFs who has a fetish for white guys that have the courage and guts to come on these APA forums and voice out their viewpoints on their side on the IR dating disparity issue for constructive debate and intelligent discussion. So as a result, people that frequent the APA forums get only one side of the story.

So as a result nobody is able to hear the AFs side to the story on these issues and the negative focus is put on AMs as a result. AMs consequently are wrongfully attacked with insults, negativity, personal attacks, and false accusations by the clueless resident apologists who post on the APA forums without openmindedness towards AMs and their truely legitimate concerns and valid points on the IR disparity issue.

Nidus

04-23-2008, 12:24 PM

people are tripping too much about white guys stealing asian women, most of the asian women they date don't look very good

mzhsacramento

04-23-2008, 05:52 PM

people are tripping too much about white guys stealing asian women, most of the asian women they date don't look very good

But those fugly AFs should be available for fugly AMs! :)

BillBlythe

04-24-2008, 10:29 AM

"It just happened..."

tee hee.

Napoleon Chynamite

04-24-2008, 11:20 AM

o as a result nobody is able to hear the AFs side to the story on these issues and the negative focus is put on AMs as a result. AMs consequently are wrongfully attacked with insults, negativity, personal attacks, and false accusations by the clueless resident apologists who post on the APA forums without openmindedness towards AMs and their truely legitimate concerns and valid points on the IR disparity issue.

Are you kidding me??? The whole reason and purpose behind the existence of these "resident apologists" in the first place is because of the tendency for irrational posters to constantly attack the moral framework, psychological stability, and intelligence of AFs. The posts are laden with broad generalizations, stupidity, sexism, and yes, racism. It's epidemic. I can't believe anyone could even think otherwise after reading any random number of IR discussions on online forums. It's not always about the fucking poor Asian man. AMs may get shafted in the media but one place they do not get shafted is online IR debating.

Sunflare

04-24-2008, 11:28 AM

Are you kidding me??? The whole reason and purpose behind the existence of these "resident apologists" . . .

Case and point.

Napoleon Chynamite

04-24-2008, 11:32 AM

Point being, I would never feel the need to defend AFs or talk about how the extent of self-victimization without action is pathetic unless there were already a billion (edit: racist, delusional, bitter Asian men) people crapping on AFs and ranting repeatedly about IR while doing absolutely nothing.

Sunflare

04-24-2008, 11:43 AM

Talk is cheap. What are YOU doing to solve the problem then? You keep on complaining about bitter AMs who bitch, etc. and not doing shit to correct the problems at hand. . .

Yet I never heard anything about you being actively involved in any APA grass roots organizations doing anything about these issues yourself.

All you seem to do, straight up, is bash other people online who refuse to stoop and cower to your way of thinking.

Napoleon Chynamite

04-24-2008, 12:01 PM

Talk is cheap. What are YOU doing to solve the problem then? You keep on complaining about bitter AMs who bitch, etc. and not doing shit to correct the problems at hand. . .

Um, I'm telling bitter AMs to stop bitching because it's their own problem more than anything. I personally don't see IR as a problem and I think while there is something to be said for media representation, my experiences dictate that if there are plenty of well-adjusted Asian men with healthy dating lives out there then it's more of a personal problem with these Asian men online that can't stop complaining. The implication that I should be doing something about Asian men bitching online (other than telling them to stop bitching) is ridiculous.

Yet I never heard anything about you being actively involved in any APA grass roots organizations doing about anything yourself.

Yea, because I totally tell everyone here about everything I do in my personal life :rolleyes: . Fuck anonymity. You want links to my articles and my email address and city also? And again, what is there to do if I don't see IR as a problem? APA issues as a whole, on the other hand, deserve much more attention, and I've been pushing people to focus and turn their attention to broad more important overall issues for years. I donate money to APIA organizations (I am poor as fuck), participate in fundraisers, and constantly argue with non-Asian friends, peers, and colleagues ignorant to a variety of different facets of being Asian, Asian American, what have you.

This isn't that much, but since I still don't think it's that hard being an Asian person in America, I'm actually doing more than I should be doing considering that I don't think Asian people have it that bad here. Bottom line is that the more shitty you think things are, the more you should be doing.

All you seem to do, straight up, is bash other people online who refuse to stoop and cower to your way of thinking.

Oh you mean, I tend to state my opinion? My gosh, imagine that. Yea you're right, all my posts consist of bashing.

Sunflare

04-24-2008, 12:19 PM

Um, I'm telling bitter AMs to stop bitching because it's their own problem more than anything.

Uh huh. And? What else is new?

I personally don't see IR as a problem and I think while there is something to be said for media representation, my experiences dictate that if there are plenty of well-adjusted Asian men with healthy dating lives out there then it's more of a personal problem with these Asian men online that can't stop complaining.

Your're not lookng at the problem for what it really is. Maybe you should reread the statistics on dating and look at things more objectively.

he implication that I should be doing something about Asian men bitching online (other than telling them to stop bitching) is ridiculous..

Then stop bitching then if you thinking that my implication that you should be doing something about Asian men who bitch online is ridiculous.

Yea, because I totally tell everyone here about everything I do in my personal life :rolleyes: . Fuck anonymity. You want links to my articles and my email address and city also?

I could care less about getting to know you personally. Don't bother. It's stupid to put all your personal information online to spammers and online con artists anyway.

I donate money to APIA organizations, participate in fundraisers, and constantly argue with non-Asian friends, peers, and colleagues ignorant to a variety of different facets of being Asian, Asian American, what have you.

Great. And what you don't understand is that people are too busy getting their own lives together and using all their time and energys on supporting themselves to begin with to become more actively involved in grass roots activities then they would like.

Oh you mean, I tend to state my opinion? My gosh, imagine that. Yea you're right, all my posts consist of bashing.

No, just when it comes to IR dating disparity issues. Lets not start with the NC typical signature sarcasm now.

Napoleon Chynamite

04-24-2008, 12:27 PM

This discussion will end (at least on my end) like all the other IR discussions I have with people. Respond and call me an asswipe, all-show-and-no-go, a hypocrite, sell-out, apathetic, lukewarm, whatever. Just keep on doing what you're doing and thinking how you're thinking, and see if things get better - the results speak for themselves. Good luck with that and have a nice life.

Sunflare

04-24-2008, 12:33 PM

I'm not going to call you asswipe, etc, etc. in future discussions. We have our disagreements that's all.

Banana

04-24-2008, 12:51 PM

I farted in this thread.

In all seriousness, I haven't really found someone who can tell me how interracial dating and marriage is a *good* thing other than the usual lame, liberal, hippy, bullshit that is so smashed into our heads because it's used as a blueprint to racial harmony.

Sure, it benefits the two people involved but has it really served a greater purpose? I sure as hell know it hasn't single-handedly decreased racism. If anything, it's caused more animosity among racial groups.

cloudzero

04-24-2008, 04:05 PM

so NC, y u keep posting in these threads?

Banana

04-24-2008, 05:44 PM

He likes the pain.

I talk to NC on the phone from time to time and he's a good person with sound advice. He means well and he only really butts his head in when he hears someone say something totally unbelievable regarding this subject.

Napoleon Chynamite

04-24-2008, 05:52 PM

so NC, y u keep posting in these threads?

lol, I try to ignore most of it, but once in a while something gets to me to the point where I feel the urge to respond again. I guess in that case I have nobody else to blame but myself for giving in. I'm the same way with most things that bother me online, try to ignore/avoid until temptation wins.

Not comparing people to the KKK, but kinda how you know it's fruitless to argue with white supremacists but once in a while you still feel the need to retaliate.

Banana

04-24-2008, 06:50 PM

As soon as I saw NC respond to this thread, the first thing that popped into my head was:

"Ah ha! Back for more, eh?"

cloudzero

04-24-2008, 07:11 PM

lets get j&j2 and snailpoo into this thread

Napoleon Chynamite

04-24-2008, 09:26 PM

As soon as I saw NC respond to this thread, the first thing that popped into my head was:

"Ah ha! Back for more, eh?"

It's my cocaine, what can I say. IR flame wars are ultimately destructive and will ruin me to the core but oh do I need it. I need it right now.

Sunflare

04-24-2008, 09:34 PM

lets get j&j2 and snailpoo into this thread

I really don't understand the point of by you being the instigator by saying that. But nethertheless if Snailpoo or j&j2 would like to state their take on what has been posted on this very sensitive hot button topic then please do so.

I will try hard to keep myself in check and not do anything to cause this discussion to fall apart into a cussing match or exchange of insults or attacks on character or a series of interrogations on each other's personal life situations. I expect the same from you guys.

Not comparing people to the KKK, but kinda how you know it's fruitless to argue with white supremacists but once in a while you still feel the need to retaliate.

Reading between the lines I can see that you might be calling me a bigot. OK. I'll absorb that.

It's my cocaine, what can I say. IR flame wars are ultimately destructive and will ruin me to the core but oh do I need it. I need it right now.

Yes. correct. IR flame wars are not fun. I personally don't like it either. It is not an easy subject for anyone to talk about and it can melt away at a person's mind if they get too preoccupied with it.

Now anyway, Napoleon, I think you are taking this discussion way too much to heart. People here are entitled to state their POVs on things in this forum even if it does'nt fall in line with the majority of the APA internet community here. You will have to just accept that. I'm not here to attack your character or label you as an apologist, an all show-and-no-go, or act like a troll in other ways. I'm just stating my views on the matter. You dont have to agree with it and I respect that but I don't think talking out of emotion will help anyone here.

Now don't get me wrong, I can go off too, I'm only human, but I will make sure that I will keep myself in check. I hope you and others here can do the same.

Anyway if you want to continue to discuss this that's fine. Otherwise I'm done with this topic if I dont see anymore responses to this post and will take into consideration what everyone is trying to say here regarding this issue.

snailpoo

04-24-2008, 11:17 PM

Now anyway, Napoleon, I think you are taking this discussion way too much to heart. People here are entitled to state their POVs on things in this forum even if it does'nt fall in line with the majority of the APA internet community here. You will have to just accept that.

My point of view is a combination of your pragmatism with Napoleon's perspective.

We've all seen these posts ad nauseum, so posting them again and again isn't going to educate any one of us, and reading each new iteration isn't going to reveal anything new. In short, there's no upside to these threads.

There is, however, a lot of downside. YW is fairly good about these threads, but in some other forums, the whining and the bashing gets... excessive, especially on the weekends. Not that there's anything wrong about posting on the weekend, but if someone is posting on a weekend, complaining about not dating ... well, as Napoleon says, it might be more of a personal problem of not trying and less of a systematic problem.

A further downside is less on an individual level and a much bigger problem. The vast majority of Asian guys I know are either married or in relationships or have no problems in this regard. The problem is that the few whiners are the loud, and they ironically complain about the negative stereotype of the asexual, nerdy, and rather pathetic Asian male... by posting about their dating problems on the weekend on the internet. By complaining about the stereotype, in a very public forum, the whiners ironically perpetuate it.

A further downside is, as Napoleon says, sexism. It doesn't happen to such a degree here, but many whiners start blaming ALL Asian girls. What a great message that is. True, some women have identity problems, but when whiners take it this far... it's the whiner that has the problem: is the poster with this attitude unable to get an Asian girl because the media has conditioned all Asian girls against him, or is it more of a personal problem?

See the problem? We know the issues, and merely talking about it gets us nowhere. Random web surfer reads the posts, and presto, we just helped enforce the stereotype. Random whiner takes it too far, and, well, let's just say that guys who whine about not getting any aren't the guys who can pull off "sellout whore" as a pick up line.

Whining and repeating the same crap over and over and over and over, doesn't help and might even hurt. That said, if there really is any REAL action to take to fight the stereotype (boycotts, letter writing, media watchdogs, or even simply living life as an example counter to the negative stereotype), by all means, discuss and sign me up.

That and, I personally don't believe that the IR disparity is *that* big of a disparity, but then again, I personally don't give a crap if complete strangers date other complete strangers regardless of their race.

Sunflare

04-25-2008, 12:22 AM

My point of view is a combination of your pragmatism with Napoleon's perspective.

I'm happy (and relieved) to see that you appreciate the practicality of my POVs and I respect the fact that you can relate to NCs POVs as well. That shows that you are very balanced in your thinking on this touchy subject.

We've all seen these posts ad nauseum, so posting them again and again isn't going to educate any one of us, and reading each new iteration isn't going to reveal anything new. In short, there's no upside to these threads.

No. There is nothing new to learn about IR dating disparity issues to the person experienced and knowedgeble on APIA empowerment issues. To such persons, discussions over this matter is redundant and can even be annoying to some depending on where the discussion is going.

There is, however, a lot of downside. YW is fairly good about these threads, but in some other forums, the whining and the bashing gets... excessive, especially on the weekends. Not that there's anything wrong about posting on the weekend, but if someone is posting on a weekend, complaining about not dating ... well, as Napoleon says, it might be more of a personal problem of not trying and less of a systematic problem..

True. Even I had enough of the excessive bashing of AFs and interracial dating on other forums on the weekends if I have the circumstances and time to check out the other APA forums. The comments I seen on other are very offensive even to me and totally ridiculous. I got flamed myself for comfronting angry AMs calling me all sort of racist profanities over my Hapa identity for questioning why they think all AFs should all eat shit and die.

They even insult and hate me because I am mixed to begin with. Yeah. Some of these dudes are hopelessly twisted.

Bashing AFs like that - calling them whitewashed SOWs, or white cocksucking sluts, etc isnt going to help them find opportunities to date AFs if that is what they really want.

I can see too, like yourself, that one of the problems here is the fact that many AMs, with their vicious attacks on AFs, makes them ever the more relunctant to want to date other AMs. Whining AMs are not exactly the type of person any woman would want to deal with. I don't blame them.

It's no wonder so many AFs have became bold and are forced to fight back at such angry AMs. But it does'nt help any of the genuine AMs or mixed Asians who would also like to date AFs.

But at the same time you also have AFs who really got issues as well and they are just as bad.

Its a hopelessly sick vicious cycle. I think everybody in part is to blame for this mess. But some people like to shift the total blame on AMs only when it is not so. Thats my gripe.

The problem is that the few whiners are the loud, and they ironically complain about the negative stereotype of the asexual, nerdy, and rather pathetic Asian male... by posting about their dating problems on the weekend on the internet. By complaining about the stereotype, in a very public forum, the whiners ironically perpetuate it.

I agree. I think it's embarrasing to see the way some of these AMs rant and rave about these issues without forethought. By whining the way that they do they are proving their opposers correct. I would think that if more of the AMs would get their act together and make themselves more presentable as AMs, then in the long run it may improve the situation and the fighting between the sexes will lessen.

A further downside is, as Napoleon says, sexism. It doesn't happen to such a degree here, but many whiners start blaming ALL Asian girls. What a great message that is. True, some women have identity problems, but when whiners take it this far... it's the whiner that has the problem: is the poster with this attitude unable to get an Asian girl because the media has conditioned all Asian girls against him, or is it more of a personal problem?

I agree and I really like your openmindedness regarding this particular segment of your post. Very balanced point of view.

There are some AFs in the spotlight with some serious identity issues but there are some sweethearts out there that would not mind dating a decent down to earth AM or a mixed Asian for that matter.

However, I have to admit I really believe that the media is really brainwashing the minds of women of color in general, particularly AFs into the belief that they must marry or date white to assimulate into western society and to achieve socio/economic success in life when that is nothing more that an illusion.

But many AFs are very mature minded about that and don't fall for that hype perpetrated in the media concerning stereotypes such as what you just mentioned. They rise above it and are independant thinkers. They think out of the box and are willing to look at the reality of life with a open mind and a good heart.

Unfortunately though, the typical whining AM does not understand that such decent AFs still exist.

See the problem? We know the issues, and merely talking about it gets us nowhere. Random web surfer reads the posts, and presto, we just helped enforce the stereotype. Random whiner takes it too far, and, well, let's just say that guys who whine about not getting any aren't the guys who can pull off "sellout whore" as a pick up line.

I agree. Anyone who really want to contribute towards solving these complex problems with IR dating disparity issues would not want to add to the problem by perpertrating the stereotype with messages filled with hate towards their own Asian sisters,

Whining and repeating the same crap over and over and over and over, doesn't help and might even hurt. That said, if there really is any REAL action to take to fight the stereotype (boycotts, letter writing, media watchdogs, or even simply living life as an example counter to the negative stereotype), by all means, discuss and sign me up.

Ha ! I was jut about to ask you the same question. Is there any REAL way to fight these negative stereotypes in a way that is dignified, not demeaning or counterproductive to the problem that we are concened with in the first place?

Anyway, you mentioned that simply living life as an Asian man who has his life together with a good character, who is not embittered but has all of the finer qualities that makes himself shine is a good way of fighting the stereotype. If all the whining AMs would do that then I think that inself would make a signifigant impact on the IR dating disparity issue.

Anyway, that's exactly what I try to do. Just improve on myself, my personality, my outlook on life among other things and I can make a positive contribution towards this problem. That's exactly how I look at it. Not easy but these goals are attainable.

That and, I personally don't believe that the IR disparity is *that* big of a disparity, but then again, I personally don't give a crap if complete strangers date other complete strangers regardless of their race.

The disparity is large in the larger cities in the U.S. but in other areas ot the U.S it is not that bad at all.

Personally, I have nothing against IR relationships. My only gripe is when racism in itself (sexist/racist stereotypes straight bigotry and the microagression) is a is intertwined into this now hopelessly complex situation that just doe'snt seem to get better.

There's alot more I would like to discuss about it, but I'll save it for another time.

Sunflare

04-25-2008, 04:18 AM

The more I think about Snailpoo's breakdown on this subject the more it's starting to sink in and actually make sense. I guess progress has been made.

kimpossible

04-25-2008, 08:16 AM

Is it October already or are the big sausage fests starting earlier?

cloudzero

04-25-2008, 08:19 AM

That and, I personally don't believe that the IR disparity is *that* big of a disparity, but then again, I personally don't give a crap if complete strangers date other complete strangers regardless of their race.

are you ready to swallow your own words if it turns out otherwise?
just 2 more years

kimpossible

04-25-2008, 09:53 AM

He's married to the ultimate woman, so no, he doesn't care. Unless she leaves him for a white guy.

Adaon

04-25-2008, 10:01 AM

As soon as I saw NC respond to this thread, the first thing that popped into my head was:

"Ah ha! Back for more, eh?"

If it's not IR stuff, it's issues of faith.

NC's the classic example of "Ouch, that burns. *3 seconds later* OUCH, that burns. *3 seconds . . ." :biggrin:

I <3 NC. LOL. What'd you eat last, Hubie?!

j&j2

04-25-2008, 11:28 PM

Um, I'm telling bitter AMs to stop bitching because it's their own problem more than anything. I personally don't see IR as a problem and I think while there is something to be said for media representation, my experiences dictate that if there are plenty of well-adjusted Asian men with healthy dating lives out there then it's more of a personal problem with these Asian men online that can't stop complaining.

There's a big diff. btwn those guys who just "b!tch" about their inadequate social lives and the overall issue (just b/c some AMs incessantly b!tch about their failures - that doesn't mean such issues aren't legitimate).

And even for the guys who just complain about it (while yes, it does get irritating) - they are also victims of the same brainwashing from the media.

And again, what is there to do if I don't see IR as a problem? APA issues as a whole, on the other hand, deserve much more attention, and I've been pushing people to focus and turn their attention to broad more important overall issues for years.

So Asian-Am identity and having self-esteem aren't important APA issues?

These are the root basis for most of APA issues (including the IR disparity).

(I see that some people still don't "get it" - not surprising tho).

Napoleon Chynamite

04-26-2008, 01:42 AM

There's a big diff. btwn those guys who just "b!tch" about their inadequate social lives and the overall issue (just b/c some AMs incessantly b!tch about their failures - that doesn't mean such issues aren't legitimate).

And even for the guys who just complain about it (while yes, it does get irritating) - they are also victims of the same brainwashing from the media.

And my point is that if indeed these issues are legitimate, people are going about it the wrong way. I have never disregarded the validity of other people's experiences and have only directed my disdain at the counterproductivity (in that people are making things worse by perpetuating the very stereotypes they abhor and discrediting themselves and other Asian people with their irrationality, hypocrisy, and bigotry) of the behavior I see in online forums. People who argue against me on this always give me the rhetorical question of "Why can't you understand?" So I ask, why can't you understand that people like this are actually hurting Asian people and the Asian male image more than anything else?

I do not confuse people like Yul Kwon, John Cho, and other prominent and productive APIA activists or media personalities (who speak out about the existence of such issues and then take healthy pro-active steps to address said issues) with these people (the ones who speak out about the issues but continue to do nothing but complain and put people down complete with attitudes reeking of racism, sexism, and bitter prejudice). Sure, the average Joe does not have the money, resources, or exposure as do these individuals, but nothing is stopping them from carrying out their own campaigns on a smaller scale. I only mention them specifically because they are people that everyone knows, but there are plenty of unknown APIA philanthropists in local regions doing just as much to help out.

And btw blaming the media only goes so far. Where the hell does personal responsibility ever come in then? Nothing is anybody's fault anymore because we're all just products and victims of society's brainwashing, our genes, and our personal upbringing and surrounding environment.

So Asian-Am identity and having self-esteem aren't important APA issues?

These are the root basis for most of APA issues (including the IR disparity).

(I see that some people still don't "get it" - not surprising tho).

I wouldn't say that self-esteem issues are the core of APA issues, even though they do play an important role in what makes APA issues unique from the issues of other minorities. But again, since when did I say that these issues were not important? I've merely repeated myself over and over again that the approach I see here on forums is annoying and counterproductive and if you want changes I'd suggest another way.

And with all due respect, can you please cut it out with the "some people just don't get it" bullshit; it is typical left-wing type condescension and perhaps there is the possibility that I've been fed this crap for years on end at the university and maybe I understand what they're saying but I just don't completely agree. Because quite frankly I've been delivering the progressive punchlines that you and others have been saying for years whenever I wrote papers in college, and I never fail to impress my liberal-minded professors because I regurgitate every single thing they teach us and it works like a charm. No real research needed because every damn class is the same, write about the imperial institutional privilege-ridden evils of the white man and you are guaranteed an A. Brainwashing goes both ways.

Sunflare

04-26-2008, 10:58 AM

And my point is that if indeed these issues are legitimate, people are going about it the wrong way. I have never disregarded the validity of other people's experiences and have only directed my disdain at the counterproductivity (in that people are making things worse by perpetuating the very stereotypes they abhor and discrediting themselves and other Asian people with their irrationality, hypocrisy, and bigotry) of the behavior I see in online forums.

I see a change in your comments in that you are acknowledging that there is an aspect to the IR dating issue that is legitminate and valid. Thats good. Props.

People who argue against me on this always give me the rhetorical question of "Why can't you understand?" So I ask, why can't you understand that people like this are actually hurting Asian people and the Asian male image more than anything else?

I can understand that some of the AMs out there are dealing with these subjects in a way that is counterprioductive like you said. But some of the AMs who post do have genuine points to their arguements regarding the reasons behind this issue. They may get a bit carried away and a bit strong in regards to their arguements, true, but I think some of these so called angry AMs actually share some of the same POVs that you are sharing with us. They are just fed up and esaperated with the situation. Yes, of course it could be a personal problem on their part as far as their dating lives are concerned but I don't think that the fact that this dating disparity problem helps in theoir situation. It's another obstacle.

Many of the AMs on the other hand are fortunately content and satisfied with their dating lives and so they are not as concerned about the IR dating disparity issue and don't focus on it as much.

That has been my observations.

Everyone had different perspectives and feelings regarding this. Everyone's situation in life, their experiences in life, their aspirations, their outlook and way of thinking varies greatly. All of these aspects and factors come out in some of the comments that are expressed when difficult issues like this is discussed on APA forums. One of the reasons why we see such conflicting views on the subject.

I do not confuse people like Yul Kwon, John Cho, and other prominent and productive APIA activists or media personalities (who speak out about the existence of such issues and then take healthy pro-active steps to address said issues) with these people (the ones who speak out about the issues but continue to do nothing but complain and put people down complete with attitudes reeking of racism, sexism, and bitter prejudice). Sure, the average Joe does not have the money, resources, or exposure as do these individuals, but nothing is stopping them from carrying out their own campaigns on a smaller scale. I only mention them specifically because they are people that everyone knows, but there are plenty of unknown APIA philanthropists in local regions doing just as much to help out.

I appreciate your attitude on the part of those who may not have the circumstances to get more involved in APIA issues but who try to do what they can to suppport thr activists who are working toward the advancement of the APIA community and serving as a voice to the concerns of those who are a part of the APIA community. Great.

And btw blaming the media only goes so far. Where the hell does personal responsibility ever come in then? Nothing is anybody's fault anymore because we're all just products and victims of society's brainwashing, our genes, and our personal upbringing and surrounding environment.

I still totally disagree on that. The Anglo-American media has made a signifigant impact on this problem bt their continued protrayal of distorted images of AMs and AFs. Especially in entertainment. Hollywood, and of course, the internet.

I can give a very lengthy, comprehensive list of movies, TV shows and websites at your request where they have protrayed racist/sexist stereotypes of AMs AFs and other people of color if you like at your request.

You mentioned that we are all victims of this society's brainwashing. Is'nt the media an obvious part of that reason? The media serves as a means to control the population. In any country. It's a point that is taught with reluctance in the many communications courses throughout the colleges in the United States.

because I regurgitate every single thing they teach us and it works like a charm. No real research needed because every damn class is the same, write about the imperial institutional privilege-ridden evils of the white man and you are guaranteed an A. Brainwashing goes both ways.

No, not all white people are evil racist bigots today, people are people and we are all human. But we do live in a Anglo-American dominant society, and of course, the brainwashing persons of color is strong. Even other white americans who otherwise are genuinely good people otherwise are affected by it without realizing it.

Indeed we have radical right wing liberal activists of color who also had a very strong influence on this society, for better or for worse. . . .

But much of mankind's history what ti has shown concerning how Europeans have oppressed other persons of color though the centuries by colonization of land in Asia Africa , the America's and the Middleeast, and the untold suffering that has been caused by the Europeans, especialy the Anglo American world powers in recent times cannot possibly be denied or ignored.

We can't blame the everyday white man and woman for it, that's stupid, and we should'nt try to relive history at every eaking moment.

But the mistakes made throughout out the history of mankind cannot be just taken out of the picture either. That's taking it to another extreme.

Lastly I'll say that EVERYBODY in part of this problem. Many of the AMs, AFs, WMs and WFs are all to blame here for what we are seeing today.

But as Snailpoo said, continuing to fight and argue abut this problem, flaming each other over it on the APA forums over and over when it's not necessary, is not solving the problem either. It's causing further division in the APIA community and giving the racists out there the upper hand. I can imagine what some of the non-Asians are saying regarding this, saying "Hey look at these angry AMs, sellout AFs, and no- Asian liberal apologists fight among themselves like bickering fools. They are just as prejudiced as the people they claim to be racist. . . ."

That was why I appreciated Snailpoo and his comments. It's better to deal with this problem in a peaceful way like many of the activists did during the Civil rights era. (Yes I know some of these activists advocated reverse racism and violence and it's just as wrong as these white supremacists and their ideology. ), instead of fighting fire with fire. I can see that for myself now from musing on the comments here expressed by the many AMs and AFs who touched upon this subject as well as from reading certain articles from many of the APA civil rights activists currently in the fight for the betterment of the APA community. Fighting fire with fire. It just doesn't work. There is better ways towards dealing with these problems.

To see AMs and AFs slam each other with expressions and actions of hate, twisted ideas on race, and ignorance is not getting anyone anywhere with any of the problems with the racism that exists within American society and the world for that matter. It is not helping the APA community. It's dividing the APA community and causing strife and resentment among ourselves, making us ever the more vunerable to today's social problems.

There's a big diff. btwn those guys who just "b!tch" about their inadequate social lives and the overall issue (just b/c some AMs incessantly b!tch about their failures - that doesn't mean such issues aren't legitimate).

And even for the guys who just complain about it (while yes, it does get irritating) - they are also victims of the same brainwashing from the media.

I agree. There is a a difference between a person who is is just online bitching and moaning over their non existant dating life and those who are legitminate over the problems that exist.

And yes, the media has a huge part to play in this problem. Definitely. Hundreds of examples. Even on this very website there are examples of this phenomonon with this very biased American media.

However, the situation is slowly improving thanks to the hard work efforts of the APA activists and those in the media that are openminded to the concerns of Asian Americans. Big improvement over how it was ten years ago.

deez nuts

04-26-2008, 11:20 AM

Videos like these make me ask why Asian women and Jesus hates me and I cry myself to sleep only to wake up angry so very very very angry.

Sunflare

04-26-2008, 12:11 PM

And yes, the media has a huge part to play in this problem. Definitely. Hundreds of examples. Even on this very website there are examples of this phenomonon with this very biased American media.
.

Just to clarify on what I wrote here, I what I meant to say was that there are examples of the bias in the media brought out by the many posters in the archived theads in YW. I'm not saying that YW is a part of the problem. In case people get the wrong idea.

eos

04-26-2008, 08:24 PM

someone stitch this dead horse to the other "wah wah wah i take youtube videos seriously they make me sad boo-hoo" roadkill and let's call it a night, shall we?

tommyhtown

04-26-2008, 08:55 PM

Videos like these make me ask why Asian women and Jesus hates me and I cry myself to sleep only to wake up angry so very very very angry.

You should turn to Asian men instead. Or better yet, I know a few then-thai-guys-now-Thai-girls who are able and willing to be your pillow to cry on.

deez nuts

04-27-2008, 03:21 AM

You should turn to Asian men instead. Or better yet, I know a few then-thai-guys-now-Thai-girls who are able and willing to be your pillow to cry on.

Seriously. I've always said that Asian men do make the best looking transgendered (shimmies) women, they're gorgeous. My theory has always been that shimmies make better girfriends/wives than women. They're genetically male but phenotypically altered to be a female. This means they think like a man and they probably know what a man wants. They probably know how to please a man better (I bet you'll get the best blowjob of your life from a shimmy) than a woman. They might not be as nurturing as a real woman but who needs that crap anyways, that's what mothers are for and no woman does it better than mother. I just have to get over the whole inverted pouch thing.

j&j2

04-27-2008, 06:47 PM

The more I think about Snailpoo's breakdown on this subject the more it's starting to sink in and actually make sense. I guess progress has been made.

The thing is - even when you discuss these topics on a purely objective level - sp has the habit of accusing posters as a "whiny, geeky Asian guy who can't get a date".

I agree. There is a a difference between a person who is is just online bitching and moaning over their non existant dating life and those who are legitminate over the problems that exist.

And yes, the media has a huge part to play in this problem. Definitely. Hundreds of examples. Even on this very website there are examples of this phenomonon with this very biased American media.

Even the Dalits and other lower cast groups in India know how much impact media images have in changing or shaping society's attitudes.

Because film is such an important part of Indian life, it has the power to change ideas and, often, provide a space for the nation to digest those changes, Dalit activists say.

"Dalits don't find a place in the film industry, except as viewers," said M. Swathy Margaret, a Dalit from Hyderabad who is working toward her PhD in Indian film studies. "In films, lower castes are not the protagonists. They're only on screen to witness the ups and downs in the lives of the upper castes."

Stereotypes of lower castes still haunt the industry, especially in the portrayal of Dalits, formerly known as untouchables. Lower castes are loyal and long-suffering servants. They are unsavory rickshaw pullers. They are forbidden lovers, deserving only of pity, if they are mentioned at all.

Helping other Dalits break into Bollywood would be like "realizing a lifelong dream." he said. "They just need to meet the right directors. I feel that if Bollywood and Indian cinema recognizes us, then India itself will grow to respect us, too."

However, the situation is slowly improving thanks to the hard work efforts of the APA activists and those in the media that are openminded to the concerns of Asian Americans. Big improvement over how it was ten years ago.

While I wouldn't call it a "big improvement" (I'd say it has been for the gay/lesbian portrayals) - I do agree that it has been SLOWLY improving.

And my point is that if indeed these issues are legitimate, people are going about it the wrong way. I have never disregarded the validity of other people's experiences and have only directed my disdain at the counterproductivity (in that people are making things worse by perpetuating the very stereotypes they abhor and discrediting themselves and other Asian people with their irrationality, hypocrisy, and bigotry) of the behavior I see in online forums. People who argue against me on this always give me the rhetorical question of "Why can't you understand?" So I ask, why can't you understand that people like this are actually hurting Asian people and the Asian male image more than anything else?

I agree w/ you whole-heartedly that the incessant “whiners” who just complain about their inept personal lives and blame it solely on their race don’t do anything about the issue and often make it worse (esp. if they attack AFs in general as “sellouts”, “whores”, etc. or even just AFs who are w/ a white guy).

But I don’t think that, for the most part, is what we find here.

As for those “whiners” – I do see them as victims of the brainwashing since often believe things like “Asian males are just less handsome or weaker than WMs”, “Good-looking AMs look “Eurasian”.

Instead of just bashing them, one should educate them that such things are NOT the case and make them see how they have bought into the media and societal preconceptions (tho, there are a few posters who are just “lost causes” and will just continue to complain and post asinine comments about Asian males and females).

I do not confuse people like Yul Kwon, John Cho, and other prominent and productive APIA activists or media personalities (who speak out about the existence of such issues and then take healthy pro-active steps to address said issues) with these people (the ones who speak out about the issues but continue to do nothing but complain and put people down complete with attitudes reeking of racism, sexism, and bitter prejudice). Sure, the average Joe does not have the money, resources, or exposure as do these individuals, but nothing is stopping them from carrying out their own campaigns on a smaller scale. I only mention them specifically because they are people that everyone knows, but there are plenty of unknown APIA philanthropists in local regions doing just as much to help out.

And btw blaming the media only goes so far. Where the hell does personal responsibility ever come in then? Nothing is anybody's fault anymore because we're all just products and victims of society's brainwashing, our genes, and our personal upbringing and surrounding environment.

True – but that doesn’t seem to be the case here. But guys like Yul and Kal Penn pretty much DO FOCUS on media representation.

I wouldn't say that self-esteem issues are the core of APA issues, even though they do play an important role in what makes APA issues unique from the issues of other minorities. But again, since when did I say that these issues were not important? I've merely repeated myself over and over again that the approach I see here on forums is annoying and counterproductive and if you want changes I'd suggest another way.

I beg to differ on the whole self-esteem thing. I see it as being the CORE issue which pretty much is the underlying issues for most Asian-Am issues.

For example – one reason why AAFs have a high rate of depression/suicide rate is due to self-esteem issues.

And with all due respect, can you please cut it out with the "some people just don't get it" bullshit; it is typical left-wing type condescension and perhaps there is the possibility that I've been fed this crap for years on end at the university and maybe I understand what they're saying but I just don't completely agree. Because quite frankly I've been delivering the progressive punchlines that you and others have been saying for years whenever I wrote papers in college, and I never fail to impress my liberal-minded professors because I regurgitate every single thing they teach us and it works like a charm. No real research needed because every damn class is the same, write about the imperial institutional privilege-ridden evils of the white man and you are guaranteed an A. Brainwashing goes both ways.

Well, actually, your POV is not that different from mine w/ a few areas of differences (I think the problem was that you were addressing the posts here as something more along the lines that you find on other AA forums).

Btw, I never have stated that the problems are due to the evils of the “white man”.

snailpoo

04-27-2008, 09:49 PM

are you ready to swallow your own words if it turns out otherwise?
just 2 more years

I thought the 2004 ACS showed a trend that more AMs were marrying out combined with fewer AFS marrying out (and a lot due to there being more AMs period).

But if the trend reverses, no, I wouldn't because:

1. I still don't give a crap if random strangers decide to marry random strangers.

2. Kim got it:

He's married to the ultimate woman, so no, he doesn't care.

The thing is - even when you discuss these topics on a purely objective level - sp has the habit of accusing posters as a "whiny, geeky Asian guy who can't get a date".

Because that's exactly what the specific posters that I disagreed with were. On the other board, you'll find the same poster in these threads also posting other threads about what sex would be like for the first time, or why all Asian men are absolutely hopeless and will never succeed in life, or why all AFs were [insert random derogatory crap here], or how all AFs were betraying AMs via some idiotic conspiracy theory, or rate pictures of [insert random woman they'd never be able to talk to], and all on weekend nights. It quickly devolves into this horrible pity party... and did their whining ever solve anything? How much of their problem was really caused by stereotyping and racism, and how much of the problem was themselves?

deez nuts

04-28-2008, 04:28 AM

He's married to the ultimate woman, so no, he doesn't care. Unless she leaves him for a white guy.

I think you're the ultimate woman but I think Mr. Poo should show me a pic of Mrs. Poo so I can make you the undisputed champ amongst women.

kimpossible

04-28-2008, 07:53 AM

Nah, I'm pretty sure Mrs. Poo is made of win. I am a lowly AmerAsian, redeemed only by my wholehearted embrace of Asian male penis. Specifically, [uncut] Han Chinese penis, whose seed I have accepted therefore returning my smidge of wayward stuck-in-Tang-dynasty DNA (aka Japanese) to the greater glorious Chinese fold.

I know because I'm corrected every time I mention my son being a little Japanese or hapa or mixed instead of referring to him as solely Chinese. Albeit, I tend to mention he's a little Japanese to irk his dad.

2. Kim got it:

Though I strive to be an alpha she-wolf I acknowledge my betters.

j&j2

04-29-2008, 11:34 PM

I thought the 2004 ACS showed a trend that more AMs were marrying out combined with fewer AFS marrying out (and a lot due to there being more AMs period).

Yeah, it does, but that still doesn’t address certain issues (you know, not everything is about the IR marriage disparity)…

I But if the trend reverses, no, I wouldn't because:

1. I still don't give a crap if random strangers decide to marry random strangers.

2. Kim got it:

Yeah, Kim “got it” – but (not surprisingly), YOU still don’t (even after I had explained this stuff to you a no. of times – but then again, it does tend to take many repetitions for you to finally "get" something).

Do I, or most people who address this issue seriously, really “care” about which person or race a “random stranger” marries? (Once again) NO!!

As I have explained to you, many a time, I don’t care if an AF marries a WM (nevermind, that it almost never is a BM or a non-white HM) – as long as she doesn’t have a negative view towards AMs or thinks that WMs are “superior”.

As much as you like to put your head in the sand, there are a significant % of AFs who do have negative views towards AMs or view WMs as “superior” – enough so that it has become fodder on talk shows and in articles (many of them written by AFs, mind you) in publications ranging from Asian-Am women magazines to university newspapers.

In addition, the fact that there are more AMs “marrying out” doesn’t mean that the core issue is being “lessened” (and in fact, it very well may be compounded) as there are more and more Asian males who hold similar negative views towards AFs or put WFs on a pedestal.

If we ALL thought as simply as you – none of us would think that young black children considering lighter skinned dolls as “good” and darker skinned dolls as “bad” was a problem either.

Really, try not to think so superficially and try to use more of that brain of yours.

Because that's exactly what the specific posters that I disagreed with were.

Uhh, I don't think so.

While some clearly were (and we know who they are) - others never complained about their personal situation and yet, you attacked them as being "dorky, geeky Asian males who can't get a date" (talk about using stereotypes).

And heck, you used that specific attack against me numerous times (didn't I already make that clear?) even tho, I pointed out to you, many a time, that I NEVER complained about my personal life.

Let's see you try to backtrack from that.

snailpoo

04-30-2008, 12:48 AM

The more I think about Snailpoo's breakdown on this subject the more it's starting to sink in and actually make sense. I guess progress has been made.

And reason # 486,302,684,294,860 why these threads never go anywhere is the post above. :biggrin:

People read what they want to read, whine what they whine about, and nothing gets resolved.

Because that's exactly what the specific posters that I disagreed with were. On the other board, you'll find the same poster in these threads also posting other threads about what sex would be like for the first time, or why all Asian men are absolutely hopeless and will never succeed in life, or why all AFs were [insert random derogatory crap here], or how all AFs were betraying AMs via some idiotic conspiracy theory, or rate pictures of [insert random woman they'd never be able to talk to], and all on weekend nights. It quickly devolves into this horrible pity party... and did their whining ever solve anything? How much of their problem was really caused by stereotyping and racism, and how much of the problem was themselves?
While some clearly were (and we know who they are) - others never complained about their personal situation and yet, you attacked them as being "dorky, geeky Asian males who can't get a date" (talk about using stereotypes).

Try using the whole quote next time.

And heck, you used that specific attack against me numerous times (didn't I already make that clear?) even tho, I pointed out to you, many a time, that I NEVER complained about my personal life.

Let's see you try to backtrack from that.

No, I called you an enabler for defending that SPECIFIC POSTER every time I called him out on his defeatist crap. If you're going to nurse a pussy ache over a two-year old insult, at least try to remember what it was.

In addition, the fact that there are more AMs “marrying out” doesn’t mean that the core issue is being “lessened” (and in fact, it very well may be compounded) as there are more and more Asian males who hold similar negative views towards AFs or put WFs on a pedestal.

If we ALL thought as simply as you – none of us would think that young black children considering lighter skinned dolls as “good” and darker skinned dolls as “bad” was a problem either.

Really, try not to think so superficially and try to use more of that brain of yours.

Sigh, same old, same old. Of course, you're still ignoring the 2004 ACS trend of the DECREASING IR disparity caused by an increase in pan-Asian marriages. And you're still ignoring the 2004 ACS fact that the percentage of AMs who are married is pretty close to the percentage of AFs who are married. And you're still ignoring the 2004 ACS fact that there are signifigantly more AFs than AMs, which, combined with the marriage rate that is EQUAL in both sexes... Of course, you've never provided any numbers or percentages of AFs with such serious issues you describe (or AMs that you're now describing). And of course, you've never shown that these identity crises are unique to Asians and not something not faced by many past immigrant waves throughout the past century.

Well, if you haven't come up with an answer in two years, why should you now?

But really, what's the point? In case you haven't noticed, no one cares that you're still trying to rehash your old arguments with me because you're still hurting over losing the same arguments to me on another board two years ago.

:rolleyes:

Though I strive to be an alpha she-wolf I acknowledge my betters.

No need to abdicate. Deez nuts is only angling for pictures.

kimpossible

04-30-2008, 09:35 AM

Well, I was going to chide him for being a cheap bastard and to go get his own fap material. But I am also proud of accomplished women. I rub elbows with my betters all the time. I enjoy hierarchy.

deez nuts

04-30-2008, 10:16 AM

Well, I was going to chide him for being a cheap bastard and to go get his own fap material.

I went through a BBW phase in the last half year or so. I need me some dainty oriental womenz.

Banana

04-30-2008, 12:37 PM

This thread is like crack for retards.

cloudzero

04-30-2008, 01:04 PM

your growing...but i still think you should clog yourself with something else...like solitaire whenever this subject pops in your head

j&j2

04-30-2008, 09:00 PM

And reason # 486,302,684,294,860 why these threads never go anywhere is the post above.

People read what they want to read, whine what they whine about, and nothing gets resolved.

Gee, you really are OBTUSE. (Not to mention infantile w/ the copious use of emoticons).

No, I called you an enabler for defending that SPECIFIC POSTER every time I called him out on his defeatist crap. If you're going to nurse a pussy ache over a two-year old insult, at least try to remember what it was.

Sorry Bill [Clinton] – let’s NOT rewrite history here. That poster in question was not a “defeatist”. Did he point out the inequities in various aspects of society? Yes, but a lot of poster here do as well – and that guy NEVER posted about his personal life or that things were “hopeless”.

And LOL! - I’m hardly “pussyaching” over anything YOU say (or ever said), esp. since I’ve proven you wrong on ALL accounts. I’m just pointing out your hypocrisy and a-holeness (using stereotypes to attack people).

Of course, you're still ignoring the 2004 ACS trend of the DECREASING IR disparity caused by an increase in pan-Asian marriages. And you're still ignoring the 2004 ACS fact that the percentage of AMs who are married is pretty close to the percentage of AFs who are married.

Hey, dumdum. Since when have I ever IGNORED that? IF you actually cared to remember stuff that doesn’t fit your erroneous/twisted POV, I have many a times used that stat to counter AMs who DO think it is “hopeless” (not to mention white posters who think AMs can’t ever get WFs).

As for your 2nd “point” – while it has decreased slightly, it’s still roughly a 2:1 ratio.

What YOU are IGNORING is that the IR disparity rate does not matter as much as the underlying issue – the fact that there are a significant no. of Asian-Ams (both male and female) who view their counterparts as less desirable or put whites on a pedestal.

Heck, if there was no disparity at all or if all US born Asian males and female married white – there still would be a PROBLEM if they married white b/c they think marrying white is superior (can’t you get this rather simple concept thru your thick head?

Of And you're still ignoring the 2004 ACS fact that there are signifigantly more AFs than AMs, which, combined with the marriage rate that is EQUAL in both sexes...

Are you serious? YOU even admitted here, finally and grudgingly (for once you admitted your error), that that wasn’t the case among the young US born/raised pop.? Have you forgotten already? The inequity is pretty much all due to the 1st gen Asian female pop – which is also older.

No wonder you keep thinking you have won all the arguments (much less one). You have a memory like a 2 yr old.

But really, what's the point? In case you haven't noticed, no one cares that you're still trying to rehash your old arguments with me because you're still hurting over losing the same arguments to me on another board two years ago.

What old arguments? You’re the one who tried to deny that you use stereotypes to attack people, including those who clearly don’t fit the mold (not that it makes it any better than attacking those who do fit the mold – gee, I guess it’s OK if we attack overweight people by calling them fat pigs).

LOL!! As for “old arguments” (which only in your own twisted mind - you have “won”), I’d say that most of the posters have seen enough of your “arguments” DEBUNKED here that your credibility is on pretty shaky ground.

And besides your repeated and erroneous argument that there were more young Asian-Am females than males in the US (and that’s even AFTER I gave you the facts/data), you came up w/ some totally wacko synopsis of Jenny Tsai's Harvard thesis.

Curious that posters like billblythe seem to have no problems pinpointing the thesis and understanding it - but then again, based on your track history, I'm not at all surprised that you came up w/ some wacko synopsis.

SunWuKong

04-30-2008, 09:30 PM

seriously, why do people still get upset arguing about this? with the exception of recent IR trends, you can probably find most of the same angry things being said on usenet groups 10 to 15 years ago.

snailpoo

04-30-2008, 10:32 PM

LOL!! As for “old arguments” (which only in your own twisted mind - you have “won”), I’d say that most of the posters have seen enough of your “arguments” DEBUNKED here that your credibility is on pretty shaky ground.

No one here cares who won back on the old board, though the fact that you ran away from the old board to follow me here, refuse to go back to the old threads, now pretend that there weren't pages of people laughing at you on the old board... speaks volumes. But hey, you're on a new board, so pretend away. Pretend that I wasn't addressing SPECIFIC posters who blamed all AFs, thought AMs were hopeless, and spend their other weekend posts wondering what sex would be like and critiquing fap material. Pretend that everyone else on that board didn't think the same thing about that SPECIFIC poster.

Pretend away. No one here cares, including me. :wink:

seriously, why do people still get upset arguing about this? with the exception of recent IR trends, you can probably find most of the same angry things being said on usenet groups 10 to 15 years ago.

It might not be the subject. Some people take the internet too seriously, and these arguments never stop becuase people disagree solely for the sake of disagreeing. Compare:

The thing is - even when you discuss these topics on a purely objective level - sp has the habit of accusing posters as a "whiny, geeky Asian guy who can't get a date".
...
I agree w/ you whole-heartedly that the incessant “whiners” who just complain about their inept personal lives and blame it solely on their race don’t do anything about the issue and often make it worse (esp. if they attack AFs in general as “sellouts”, “whores”, etc. or even just AFs who are w/ a white guy).

All in the same post. :wink:

j&j2

04-30-2008, 11:51 PM

^ Maybe not - but people DO care about your repeating erroneous assertion of facts or the application of irrelevant facts (like you just did again about the nos. of young AFs and AMs in the US in contrast to the total - which includes older 1st gen females) and your off-the-wall mis-interpretation of Ms. Tsai's thesis.

Plus, let's not forget your vapid, superficial take of AA issues (gee, could the IR issue be a symptom of the underlying and important self-esteem issue which affects the AA community?)

Hmmm - this Asian-Am female director seems to think so (as do many others).

http://forums.yellowworld.org/showthread.php?p=540912#post540912

No one here cares who won back on the old board, though the fact that you ran away from the old board to follow me here, refuse to go back to the old threads, now pretend that there weren't pages of people laughing at you on the old board...

Hey, if NO ONE cares (including you, supposedly) - why do you keep bringing the same old Clintonian "truth" up?

Uhh, as I stated many, many times - I never ran away from anything you posted (since it's been WAY too easy to debunk the crap you spew) - I just merely debunked them in new threads, and don't flatter yourself, I didn't follow you here (I seem to recall saying this a no. of times) - I've been perusing this site for years (I just didn't bother to post until you started spewing untruths again).

And hey, it didn't take me that long to debunk you here a no. of times as well.

And PLEASE - there were like 2 people on your "side" - a demented white guy who saw everything as being an accusation of Asiaphilia and a desi guy who didn't know his ex-Chinese-Canadian girlfriend had a low opinion of East Asian males - "short, weak and effeminate" (which I corrected, btw - and she THANKED me for making her aware of the errors of her previous way of thinking) and who spewed rather racist remarks about East Asian males himself). Wohooo!!

Pretend away. No one here cares, including me.

LOL!! Right - which is exactly why YOU keep POSTING - LMAO!!!

Talk about Clintonian delusion!

And the only pretending here is being done by your insipid noggin (after all, gee, I wonder who has been proven WRONG a no. times already?)

kimpossible

05-01-2008, 02:04 PM

So you two have been going at it since even before you met up here? Not that you have to answer to me about it.

tommyhtown

05-01-2008, 02:15 PM

I love rivalry!

cloudzero

05-01-2008, 02:29 PM

so whos the asswipe that brought this thread back to life?

kimpossible

05-01-2008, 02:55 PM

... but apparently you must answer to cloudzero.

Sunflare

05-01-2008, 02:58 PM

A newbie who posted in the second week in April ressurected this thread. I'm giving no more clues.

I think we all should just let this thread die and move on. All this thread is doing is causing animosity and resentment among other members.

snailpoo

05-01-2008, 05:15 PM

Uhh, as I stated many, many times - I never ran away from anything you posted (since it's been WAY too easy to debunk the crap you spew) - I just merely debunked them in new threads

In new threads where it's easy to pretend, pretend, pretend. :wink: Of course, we're on a new board, so people here don't know that my way of dealing with you on the old board was just to simply copy and paste the same snipets and links to previous threads where upon you'd sputter for a bit, many other posters would laugh at you, and you'd disappear for a month or three.

So you two have been going at it since even before you met up here? Not that you have to answer to me about it.

What can I say? I have a stalker who got his ego bruised and can't let go.

A newbie who posted in the second week in April ressurected this thread. I'm giving no more clues.

I think we all should just let this thread die and move on. All this thread is doing is causing animosity and resentment among other members.

I see you've really come around to my view on these threads.

Sunflare

05-01-2008, 06:10 PM

I see you've really come around to my view on these threads.

Out of all the posts in this thread I've seen so far, I think your first post in response to the OP on the IR dating disparity issue was the most comprehensive, and realistic post in this thread I can relate to. It reflects a sense of openmindedness over all the issues involved with this social/racial dillemna, it actually makes sense, and it's a healthy, practical attitude to have. Props.

I think it was also how you tactfully explained the situation in a way that was not inflammatory and pent up with emotion, that was a huge plus.

. . .People here are entitled to state their POVs on things in this forum even if it does'nt fall in line with the majority of the APA internet community here. . .My point of view is a combination of your pragmatism with Napoleon's perspective.

We've all seen these posts ad nauseum, so posting them again and again isn't going to educate any one of us, and reading each new iteration isn't going to reveal anything new. In short, there's no upside to these threads.

There is, however, a lot of downside. YW is fairly good about these threads, but in some other forums, the whining and the bashing gets... excessive, especially on the weekends. Not that there's anything wrong about posting on the weekend, but if someone is posting on a weekend, complaining about not dating ... well, as Napoleon says, it might be more of a personal problem of not trying and less of a systematic problem.

A further downside is less on an individual level and a much bigger problem. The vast majority of Asian guys I know are either married or in relationships or have no problems in this regard. The problem is that the few whiners are the loud, and they ironically complain about the negative stereotype of the asexual, nerdy, and rather pathetic Asian male... by posting about their dating problems on the weekend on the internet. By complaining about the stereotype, in a very public forum, the whiners ironically perpetuate it.

A further downside is, as Napoleon says, sexism. It doesn't happen to such a degree here, but many whiners start blaming ALL Asian girls. What a great message that is. True, some women have identity problems, but when whiners take it this far... it's the whiner that has the problem: is the poster with this attitude unable to get an Asian girl because the media has conditioned all Asian girls against him, or is it more of a personal problem?

See the problem? We know the issues, and merely talking about it gets us nowhere. Random web surfer reads the posts, and presto, we just helped enforce the stereotype. Random whiner takes it too far, and, well, let's just say that guys who whine about not getting any aren't the guys who can pull off "sellout whore" as a pick up line.

Whining and repeating the same crap over and over and over and over, doesn't help and might even hurt. That said, if there really is any REAL action to take to fight the stereotype (boycotts, letter writing, media watchdogs, or even simply living life as an example counter to the negative stereotype), by all means, discuss and sign me up.

That and, I personally don't believe that the IR disparity is *that* big of a disparity, but then again, I personally don't give a crap if complete strangers date other complete strangers regardless of their race.

But there is some things I will never agree with you on. Like how you preach about how great America is as a country. Like as if the streets in this dumbfuck country has its streets paved in gold and shit. That's complete fucking bullshit. . .

. . . . . Okay. Let me stop. :biggrin:

deez nuts

05-02-2008, 04:10 AM

... but apparently you must answer to cloudzero.

He's just a bit emotional cuz of his gynecomastia brought on by the traces of prescription drugs in his tap water.

cloudzero

05-02-2008, 10:21 AM

^good one

j&j2

05-03-2008, 11:35 AM

Out of all the posts in this thread I've seen so far, I think your first post in response to the OP on the IR dating disparity issue was the most comprehensive, and realistic post in this thread I can relate to. It reflects a sense of openmindedness over all the issues involved with this social/racial dillemna, it actually makes sense, and it's a healthy, practical attitude to have. Props.

Methinks you got sp mixed up w/ someone else.

Remember, this is the guy who thought that the IR disparity was a “non-issue” since he thought that a 30% and 20% outmarriage rate, respectively (among ages18-34 in the US born/raised pop.), was only a 10% disparity (you do the math, that in no way is a 10% disparity).

After the rather simple math error was pointed out, sp then changed his argument and stated that the IR disparity was still no big deal b/c there were WAY more AFs than AMs in the US and who exactly were the AFs supposed to marry?

Putting aside the issue that both AFs and AMs overwhelmingly marry white, I pointed out to him that the “extra” AFs were all pretty much 1st gen immigrants and generally tended to be older and that the 1st gen group includes many warbrides, mail-order brides, etc. which make the disparity artificially even greater (and hence, should be excluded from the IR discussion), sp, inexplicably (well, maybe not - considering his track history of not remembering things that prove his arguments wrong), brought up that SAME argument on the big IR thread here a while back ago, even tho I had already pointed out to him that there was no material difference in nos. of the sexes among US born or raised Asians (in fact, there are slightly MORE AMs than AFs among the US born/raised pop.).

So, on ONE issue, he already got his facts WRONG TWICE!

Now, I do agree that there has been way too much emphasis on the whole IR disparity – and that the real issue is the underlying problem of a significant no. of Asian-Americans having issues w/ their self-esteem and identity (in being Asian) – which manifests itself into issues like depression/suicide, opting for plastic surgery and yes, the IR disparity.

And note – just b/c there are more US born/raised AMs marrying white doesn’t mean that the underlying issue is becoming less of a problem – as there are more and more AMs who (like many of their female and homosexual counterparts), look “down” upon their Asian prospective partners and put whites up on a pedestal.

And this is the same guy who thinks that while the negative stereotypes of AFs is a problem (submissive, hypersexual, etc.), the average American, however, is unaware of the general negative stereotypes for AMs (and that only us “oversensitive” AMs are aware of such things - yeah, that makes complete sense (lol)!

pikachupacabra

05-03-2008, 03:06 PM

J&J, where are you from/where do you live? Because, if we're going to be taking anecdotal evidence I see, and know of, far more asian-asian relationships than asian-other, and that includes males and females.

snailpoo

05-03-2008, 07:01 PM

Methinks you got sp mixed up w/ someone else.

Remember, this is the guy who thought

Pretend, pretend, pretend, pretend. :biggrin:

Sunflare

05-04-2008, 09:07 AM

Methinks you got sp mixed up w/ someone else.
...........
Now, I do agree that there has been way too much emphasis on the whole IR disparity – and that the real issue is the underlying problem of a significant no. of Asian-Americans having issues w/ their self-esteem and identity (in being Asian) – which manifests itself into issues like depression/suicide, opting for plastic surgery and yes, the IR disparity.
...........
And note – just b/c there are more US born/raised AMs marrying white doesn’t mean that the underlying issue is becoming less of a problem – as there are more and more AMs who (like many of their female and homosexual counterparts), look “down” upon their Asian prospective partners and put whites up on a pedestal.

Look j&j2. Listen.

Yes there is a huge disparity in certain areas in the US. Agreed. But what we going to do about it? Pull an Kenneth Eng with vicious verberage online for pages and pages on this board? Yes in certain areas I can clearly see even for myself that there is a huge disparity problem where I live. (To answer pikachupacabra's question, yes in some areas the IR dating disparity is much greater with more WM/AF couples out there then same race couples or BM/AF couples -- especially on the east coast. Its not so bad on the west coast or down south according to what I've seen).

Yes, there is definitely a problem in the media as well and how they are portraying these stereotypes of AFs and their sexual/racial preferences. Yes, the statistics show that there may be a problem. I cannot deny that.

Yes, there are alot of self hating AFs with issues, and it gets me concerned.

But what does whining about it online unconstructively and with angst and emotion going to accomplish?

Me, instead of keeping a tally of how many WM/AF couples I see everyday and posting online bitching about it, I am DOING SOMETHING to bring about a change in circumstances for myself. I'm busily working on my own personal life, going through school so I can begin a professional career in the medical field.

At the same time I am working on myself. My personality, my physical appearance (working out, etc) my social skills, and a ton of other things. So I can become a better person, more appealing to the opposite sex. If I can find a attractive AF or mixed Asian honey who I can get involved in a serious relationship with, then that would be great.

I understand how an AF ticks. I learn more and more about my AF sisters everyday. Bitching about these IR dating issues isn't one of things they like to dwell on. It is *huge* turnoff. They don't want a constant complainer, they want a REAL MAN who knows what he wants and who can get things done.

Many of the genuine AFs who are pretty but also who are good persons on the inside with a good heart --- They just want a good man, period -- and really don't give a shit about racial preferences. I'm going to work on myself accordingly so that I can meet their preference better and find that sweetheart that i always dreamed of marrying one day. Start a family and all that good stuff as i go ahead with my new career once I'm out of school.

And so therefore I'm going to just work on my personal life so that I can get mines, and let the true APA empowerment activists do the work, and I'll follow their lead in a spirit of cooperation and support.

That's what Snailpoo is saying too and that's why I give him props over his POVs.

Anyway I hope this post helps you to see that staying constantly embittered over these issues will get you NOWHERE. Instead, take that energy towards a workable solution to your personal life. Then you will be happier and not be so sensitive to these issues.

Napoleon Chynamite

05-04-2008, 09:52 AM

I still totally disagree on that. The Anglo-American media has made a signifigant impact on this problem bt their continued protrayal of distorted images of AMs and AFs. Especially in entertainment. Hollywood, and of course, the internet.

I can give a very lengthy, comprehensive list of movies, TV shows and websites at your request where they have protrayed racist/sexist stereotypes of AMs AFs and other people of color if you like at your request.

You mentioned that we are all victims of this society's brainwashing. Is'nt the media an obvious part of that reason? The media serves as a means to control the population. In any country. It's a point that is taught with reluctance in the many communications courses throughout the colleges in the United States.

*sigh* And the funny thing is even though I agree with everything you just wrote here about brainwashing, stereotypes and dominant media portrayals toward minorities, it doesn't change my view that you can't blame society for everything in your life. Because if you allow yourself to blame society for whatever your shortcomings, ills, etc. there's no sense of responsibility. Are we merely all sheep or robots incapable of free will and thought then? What's the point of blaming the media and the government and asking for reform? The result will just be another form of government or media entity that does the exact same thing by influencing the masses, only with a different set of ideologies. This is what will happen if people are, indeed, merely passive recipients taking in what their environment has to offer.

Why am I such an asshole, because of brainwashing, because I had a fucked-up family, because I was teased when I was younger, because the people at school didn't do a good enough job helping me learn my ABC's because I was a minority, because of unhealthy sibling rivalry with my older brother, because of all these experiences I had which slowly shattered my sense of dignity and self-esteem over the years, because of this, because of that. With this type of mentality, we lose the right to get angry, we lose the right to hold other people responsible, we ironically lose the right in fact to hold white people or racist people responsible for their prejudice and bigotry.

Edit: The idea of media brainwashing is NOT taught "with reluctance" at universities. In fact, it's the broad punchline that gives young rebellious college students the excuse to blame the structure and "the man" for anything and everything under the sun. This anti-social message tends to survive from generation to generation, although the specific issues at hand differ from group to group and generation to generation.

Sunflare

05-04-2008, 10:07 AM

*sigh* And the funny thing is even though I agree with everything you just wrote here about brainwashing, stereotypes and dominant media portrayals toward minorities, it doesn't change my view that you can't blame society for everything in your life.

I think we are actually on the same page.

I'm doing everything in my life possible, as well as yourself, to take responsibility in my life and do what I have to do to make myself happy and not let these social problems that exist get the better of me in my personal, secular, academic or dating life. No way.

Because if you allow yourself to blame society for whatever your shortcomings, ills, etc. there's no sense of responsibility. Are we merely all sheep or robots incapable of free will and thought then? What's the point of blaming the media and the government and asking for reform? The result will just be another form of government or media entity that does the exact same thing by influencing the masses, only with a different set of ideologies. This is what will happen if people are, indeed, merely passive recipients taking in what their environment has to offer.

Well, there are certain things concerning the media that is dead wrong and must be brought out. Fortunately the talented APA activists are doing that, bringing out the needed issues to be accounted for. Something has to get done. The APA activists has taken up that task and are doing a good job at it. As of late the hard working APA activists has gained the attention of the mainstream media and I'm sure that will make a turn for the better for everyone in the wrong run, inside *and* outside the APA community.

Why am I such an asshole, because of brainwashing, because I had a fucked-up family, because I was teased when I was younger, because the people at school didn't do a good enough job helping me learn my ABC's because I was a minority, because of unhealthy sibling rivalry with my older brother, because of all these experiences I had which slowly shattered my sense of dignity and self-esteem over the years, because of this, because of that. With this type of mentality, we lose the right to get angry, we lose the right to hold other people responsible, we ironically lose the right in fact to hold white people or racist people responsible for their prejudice and bigotry.

Its all good. Don't kick yourself in the ass over it. You're upbringing and experience is unique to most people. I can understand and relate because my experience is just as drastically unique compared to most APAs including yours.