Friends...but no more than that?

[mrcfo]

Has anyone been in a similar situation? I really dont see us as being much more than friends and in some senses I dont think she does with me either, but she likes to "hang on". We're very different in a lot of senses.

First of all, I dont think shes all that much over her ex and seriously in my terms and beliefs, no serious new "fire" can be started unless the old one is butted out.

The way I see it, she's using me as "emergency support" when she needs it. I mean in some ways, just a "shoulder" to lean on type. We go on dates, but nothing much really happens and there is next to zero chemistry.

I have repeatedly hinted and told her that I really dont believe in the sex partner/buddy type thing (we have prolly had it twice and really I feel crap about it all) and from my POV we really havent got much to work with in terms of anything beyond a friendship.

I may be judgemental and have high standards, but I seriously think she dioesnt have the qualities I want in a girlfriend.

I really dont know what to do from this point onwards to keep it friendly, but not much else. If I had to be extremely blunt and honest, I find her company rather annoying than anything else.

[enigma740]

we have prolly had it twice and really I feel crap about it all.

Why do you feel crap about doing it? Is it because you irreversibly went from platonic friendship into...something else?

It seems to me that you don't like her. Are you bothered by the fact that you're her 'emergency support'? If you are, maybe you should stop seeing her and let the relationship cool down. But if you don't mind being her backup then just leave things as they are.

[thaite]

So just bang her while you look for something else.

[enigma740]

So just bang her while you look for something else.

You know, I was going to say something like that at first. But you're joking, right? He already feels bad for doing it a few times, whatever the reason may be.

[eos]

look you're both using each other. it's not rocket science. you use her for companionship, she's using you for....i dunno, free food, rides, whatever. if you find her so annoying, drop her. she'll get over it. and even if she hates you for it, so the fuck what? you don't want to be with her anyway. grow a pair, will ya?

[Tao]

as with all people, he jsut wants someone to fawn over him, it's nature. how you handle it, is where the maturity comes in. if you don't want to lead her on, don't be physical with her anymore. if you don't give a shit about her feelings, then keep doing what you want. it's just that simple.

[eos]

i dunno, but personally, even if someone pays "special" attention to me, if they are hella annoying or hell, if i just plain don't like them, i will NOT subject myself to their company. i just don't have the time or patience to waste on people i don't care about.

[Tao]

i dunno, but personally, even if someone pays "special" attention to me, if they are hella annoying or hell, if i just plain don't like them, i will NOT subject myself to their company. i just don't have the time or patience to waste on people i don't care about.
yeah, but i'm guessing the girl isn't that annoying to not be fuckable...difference between guys and girls i guess

[eos]

yes i forgot about that. the guy mentality......"i like doggy style. if the chick's fugly but has a hot body, i don't have to see her face."

[Tao]

yes i forgot about that. the guy mentality......"i like doggy style. if the chick's fugly but has a hot body, i don't have to see her face."
....you say it like it's a bad thing?

[eos]

^grrrr.......>=(

[lethal]

dude, stop coming here for advice for your fucked up relationships

[eos]

you are so mean. be nice.

[Hiroshi2]

I"m in the same boat as you bruh with my ol' lady, except i don't think she's with me cause she's not over her ex. I think she really likes me, and I like her. Sort of. I don't know if I like her in a romantic way like that. She's just cool to hang around, but honestly I don't feel like I've ever said or done anything to get particularly close to her, nor do I feel comfortable doing so. But she's attracted to me, or at least the part of me she's seen and knows about. I feel like I've just let myself "drift" into a relationship because I had nothing better to do and just wanted some pussy.


And now I feel like shit.

[enigma740]

I"m in the same boat as you bruh with my ol' lady, except i don't think she's with me cause she's not over her ex. I think she really likes me, and I like her. Sort of. I don't know if I like her in a romantic way like that. She's just cool to hang around, but honestly I don't feel like I've ever said or done anything to get particularly close to her, nor do I feel comfortable doing so. But she's attracted to me, or at least the part of me she's seen and knows about. I feel like I've just let myself "drift" into a relationship because I had nothing better to do and just wanted some pussy.


And now I feel like shit.

Don't feel like shit. This thread is becoming full of guy angst over 'using' a girl for sex when it seems to me, based on the limited information, that the girls are doing exactly the same thing.

[DragonKnight]

Welcome to being a fucking tool.

[returntosender]

i need to be one of those. feeling a little rusty over here.

[misschopstix]

I have repeatedly hinted and told her that I really dont believe in the sex partner/buddy type thing (we have prolly had it twice and really I feel crap about it all) and from my POV we really havent got much to work with in terms of anything beyond a friendship.

Why aren't there more guys like you around that want a real relationship. Seems like these days, there isn't such a thing as a true boyfriend girlfriend relationship anymore. I say diss her and find someone you really enjoy being with.

[Hiroshi2]

^ that's cause it's hard to trust anybody, male or female.


Don't feel like shit. This thread is becoming full of guy angst over 'using' a girl for sex when it seems to me, based on the limited information, that the girls are doing exactly the same thing.


Yep.


Except we just want sex. Girls want sex, money, cars, clothes, etc.

[eos]

i'm of the theory that guys who use girls for sex do not care about her feelings. therefore, it's only appropriate that girls do not care about the guys' feelings either. that way, there will be no clinginess, tears, 3 AM drunken calls asking the other why he/she doesn't like him/her, etc. it will only be straight-up sex, no strings attached. if you do start feeling something for your fwb, you need to smack yourself cuz that shit ain't gonna happen.

[hooligan]

ditch her, unless you want to be her friend.

[thaite]

You know what to do.

[Azn Retribution]

Have any of you heard of ladder theory?

http://www.laddertheory.com/images/mansladder1.jpg
http://www.laddertheory.com/images/womansladder1.jpg

Supposedly. After five minutes of meeting you.
a woman decides whether she wants you on your fuckable ladder or not.

I think the less desparate guys have two ladders as well.
I know I do.

The jump from the friends ladder can be made to the fuckable ladder
but not without significant risk of hitting... the "abyss"

[eos]

on the women's ladder, are there degrees like on the men's? calvin and ed seem to be dangerously close to the....ABYSSSSSSSSS.
and why is the friends ladder depicted so differently?

[Azn Retribution]

Guys only have one ladder.
the point is that... most guys will fuck pretty much any somewhat attractive female...
friend or not. especially intoxicated

and girls can afford to be more picky and have two ladders generally.
and there probably are degrees like the men.

[enigma740]

Guys only have one ladder.
the point is that... most guys will fuck pretty much any somewhat attractive female...
friend or not. especially intoxicated

and girls can afford to be more picky and have two ladders generally.
and there probably are degrees like the men.

Oh, fuck ladder theory.

Have you by any chance visited http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html

[DragonKnight]

Oh yeah... :biggrin:
http://www.intellectualwhores.com/images/womanratingv2.jpg