Privacy

[Anaestacia]

So you've found your all-time supasexgod/dess lover with a heart of gold, superhuman emotional quickerpickerupper and psychicly-cued mental stimulator.

Naturally when we're with someone, after some time, we end up sharing a few personal things. (and I don't mean pee droplets on the toilet seat).

I'm talking about passwords, pin numbers, apartment keys, safe numbers.. and so on and so forth.

I'm curious as to how far you would go (or have gone) with sharing this kind of personal information. I've seen couples who have been married for 40+ years who have never shared the pin numbers in their bank accounts, and then I have met others who never thought twice about swapping them. Would you share those?

What about just the smaller information like email passwords?

Ever been in the situation where you had differing opinions on it and one became insulted? Creepy? Dealbreaker?

How do you feel about the whole thing?

[Faithless]

If they maintain a joint account, yeah, what's the big deal about sharing a pin number?

I think if you don't trust a person enough, such that you have your own separate bank account, maybe you should be with that other person.

I think all of my passwords are written down on paper, since I do a lot of online account stuff.

I do have personal email, but that's because I use it to communicate confidential employee matters outside of work.

[TB4000]

I've never been with anyone that long that we start sharing passwords and all that there. I've never trusted a girl 100% like that, I'll be honest about it. When I get to that point, then we'll talk about extremely personal information.

[Faithless]

I've never been with anyone that long that we start sharing passwords and all that there. I've never trusted a girl 100% like that, I'll be honest about it. When I get to that point, then we'll talk about extremely personal information.
That's probably a good strategy for both parties.

Can you imagine getting really close then having the relationship dissolve?

You'd probably do well to change all your personal information real quick or find your screen name is saying stuff about you that you didn't even know about.

But beyond the paperwork related stuff, I guess, you wonder how much about medical conditions and other personal problems you should share.

Like, if you had a heart condition or something.

[Anaestacia]

Nah, I'm not talking about joint accounts. That's a given for shared info. I mean separate accounts. I've also seen couples swap email passwords like they're bodily fluids.

Is there a sense of loss of identity going on? The whole two-becomes-one philosophy is too hardcore romance for me. And how many times have we heard of drama of someone going into so and so's email, reading it and finding things they shouldn't have found.

At the same time, what's the big deal? Nothing to hide... except the other 6 boyfriends, right?

[returntosender]

it's strictly quid pro quo. one password for one password.

[eos]

i broke into both email accounts of my ex. i had a feeling he was hiding something so one day i did it. and sure enough he was. i changed his passwords too and he had a hard time reactivating it. hahahahaah
jerk.

[Napoleon Chynamite]

^ Remind me never to piss you off.

[Anaestacia]

i broke into both email accounts of my ex. i had a feeling he was hiding something so one day i did it. and sure enough he was. i changed his passwords too and he had a hard time reactivating it. hahahahaah
jerk.

Well, whatever gives you closure.

Though I've grown to trust my gut for the most part. Call it foolish but I don't think I could live with myself knowing I broke into someone's personal information just to satisfy my own insecurity, and not trusting my instincts purely.

Shit isn't so hard to sniff but you have to get burned a few times first.

[Faithless]

I guess the question would be, "What do you got to hide?"

Could it be thought of as a matter of disrespect to keep a side conversation going with some other person, if that's the end, like keeping them as an "out" in case things don't work out?

I guess if a private email account is one way of keeping an affair private, so be it. It will all come out anyways.

[Powerful T]

i broke into both email accounts of my ex. i had a feeling he was hiding something so one day i did it. and sure enough he was. i changed his passwords too and he had a hard time reactivating it. hahahahaah
jerk.

Let me guess, he was all brawn and no brain?

Because I'd bitch slap that guy repeatedly for letting that happen to him if I ever met him. He must have the IQ of a pin.

[mrazntre]

as long as my sperm isn't visiting her egg factory, i'm usually a happy man.
other than that, I do know about the whole privacy issue regarding personal information and statements.

I'm a bit secretive about certain things because sometimes breakups end up nasty and you don't want to leave yourself exposed if that were to happen. An ex of mine was on my blockbuster and so a few months after our split, blockbuster calls me up and says that they're waiting for either 10 dvds, or some outlandish payment of a couple hundred bucks. that girl was a bitch. it's probably because she was fat and had a bad attitude about everything due to her weight and eating disorder so i'm sure i won't hit the jackpot like that again.

in other words, no, i wouldn't share that type of information.

[Azn Retribution]

http://www.echelondata.net/gallery/g2data/albums/variance/funny/eyeballs.jpg

[Anaestacia]

It's not hard to change passwords on your email or other such accounts. Out of urgency, I did swap passwords for an ftp web account because he had trouble with his and wanted to look at mine. I changed the passwords the week afterward.

I also have issues sharing my pc with a significant other. No, not because of the porn stash (I like to share mine). But because of other personal files, things I've written, or others have written and shared with me, pictures at the bar that maybe shouldn't have been taken.... jk. I feel very odd leaving them alone with my pc. So much so that I do lock and make some folders 'invisible'.

Is this strange? I don't have anything to hide, but there are some things I'd like to keep to myself, and they're very personal.

[Irezumi Kiss]

I also have issues sharing my pc with a significant other. No, not because of the porn stash (I like to share mine). But because of other personal files, things I've written, or others have written and shared with me, pictures at the bar that maybe shouldn't have been taken.... jk. I feel very odd leaving them alone with my pc. So much so that I do lock and make some folders 'invisible'.

Is this strange? I don't have anything to hide, but there are some things I'd like to keep to myself, and they're very personal.
That's the real rub, right there. You're perfectly entitled to your own space and your own activity within that space. You owe no explanation or excuse for what goes on with your you except or until it affects or crosses the line into the conjugal, positive and well-being part of you & him/her in the relationship.

Anything you're somehow personally ashamed of and wanna keep under the mattress doesn't fly under this umbrella. You're not hiding anything, you just want your own. Absolutely nothing wrong with that. However, I'm coming from a POV of a person who's been used to his privacy from jump street. I'd have to be mindful of someone who grew up different from the way I did and from those experiences, sees the issues of personal space and privacy within being together differently. I suppose everyone has their own levels to this area and that's what you and the S.O. have a responsibility to suss out, if you really want to be in each other's lives.

I'd share my porn stash, too. Happiness should be...uhh..."disseminated," so to speak...:biggrin:

[eos]

we had just had a fight. he asked his other gf to marry him. i called him on it and he said, "oh it was just one of those things. i didn't mean it." wtf?
how is that "just one of those things"?

anyway i'm glad i'm done with him.

[moJo]

my bf and i share that information if necessary, with ease. but it's not like we make a list of all our passwords, account numbers, etc and exchange it with each other. for instance, if i need to get into his account to get an email address or something, i'll let him know that i did so. or, if i'm driving us both, and i need him to go to the ATM while i circle the block, i give him my pin #.

i'm not naturally such a trusting person, but i do trust him and i think it's reciprocated. i know that he is the kind of person, who, if we do break up, won't get all psycho and screw me over.

[TB4000]

^That's just it, you don't know. My mom has always been like, "if you ever date interracially, be wary, because as soon as something goes wrong, you're gonna be nothing but a nigger to her." I don't follow her that intently, but I get the gist of it. You know how parents get.

[mrazntre]

^That's just it, you don't know. My mom has always been like, "if you ever date interracially, be wary, because as soon as something goes wrong, you're gonna be nothing but a nigger to her." I don't follow her that intently, but I get the gist of it. You know how parents get.

you know what? that rings true even if she's black.

[Anaestacia]

That's the real rub, right there. You're perfectly entitled to your own space and your own activity within that space. You owe no explanation or excuse for what goes on with your you except or until it affects or crosses the line into the conjugal, positive and well-being part of you & him/her in the relationship.

Anything you're somehow personally ashamed of and wanna keep under the mattress doesn't fly under this umbrella. You're not hiding anything, you just want your own. Absolutely nothing wrong with that. However, I'm coming from a POV of a person who's been used to his privacy from jump street. I'd have to be mindful of someone who grew up different from the way I did and from those experiences, sees the issues of personal space and privacy within being together differently. I suppose everyone has their own levels to this area and that's what you and the S.O. have a responsibility to suss out, if you really want to be in each other's lives.

I'd share my porn stash, too. Happiness should be...uhh..."disseminated," so to speak...:biggrin:

Thanks. At the same time I feel odd, as I mentioned before, because he didn't seem in the least bit uncomfortable letting me use his (ex) things. Thankfully I've not been in the situation where anyone asked for any passwords, and I felt I absolutely had to refuse (to the point of blunt rudeness).

There's etiquette in this too, isn't there? No asking if you're not offered.

I don't think it's a matter of trust here for me, about being screwed over or not after a bad breakup (though it's a very valid reason not to give out any passwords) - it's more about maintaining some personal areas and boundaries. I'm not comfortable meshing so entirely and when I walk out (and he walks out) of this relationship it also minimizes the residual "sharing" area. It keeps my identity intact. And I want HIM to keep his identity intact.

What if your partner offered to share those with you? Would you take it? I don't want that information and would actually be angry with him if he threw me his pin #s.

[deez nuts]

i broke into both email accounts of my ex. i had a feeling he was hiding something so one day i did it. and sure enough he was. i changed his passwords too and he had a hard time reactivating it. hahahahaah
jerk.

i thought of you when my co-worker friend e-mailed me this, my beloved chinese girl with the japanese screen name.

http://emoorangesmovie.ytmnd.com/

[lethal]

i thought of you when my co-worker friend e-mailed me this, my beloved chinese girl with the japanese screen name.

http://emoorangesmovie.ytmnd.com/

i thought of mrcfo

[eos]

i thought of you when my co-worker friend e-mailed me this, my beloved chinese girl with the japanese screen name.

http://emoorangesmovie.ytmnd.com/


cute. i have no idea why that would remind you of me, my asian prince who teaches people about IPR.

[KooLJaP]

`??? wat was dat?^