Slapping our women around

[kasia]

is it okay to hit your girlfriend? how about push? how about punch the wall right next to her face?

perhaps if she deserves it?

please share.

[wylin]

dude hell no that wrong, no matter what u should never physically attack ur mate and if ur mate does call the cops. alota girls become like used to this and take this crap from the lovers. i dont see a point love has hardships and challenges but one of them shouldnt be ur life is in danger from ur partner.

another thing is i noticed once a girl lets a guy hit her she allows the next guy she dates to do that to her too...why?

[kasia]

yeh...but what if you're really stressed?

[achtungbaby]

It's never okay to hit a female, even if she's antagonizing you and won't leave you alone.

[kasia]

btw, i'm not referring to my current boyfriend...or any personal problem that i'm having.

i just used to be a domestic violence counselor, that's all.

[NotAsian]

An interesting subject. I encountered this topic at another forum a month or two ago. The general opinion there was that it was never okay to hit a woman under any circumstances.

Now, call me predictable but I pointed out that, if one was to claim in the righteous manner that they were doing that it wasn't okay to hit a woman, then surely it wasn't okay to hit a man, otherwise you'd be sexually discriminating. Well guess what, they didn't agree with me.

Anyway, the reason this disturbs me is the following scenario: what if the woman was attacking you? Would you just stand there and let her hit you until she knocked you out, or would you hit back?

[thaite]

[quote:006c747b12="NotAsian"]Anyway, the reason this disturbs me is the following scenario: what if the woman was attacking you? Would you just stand there and let her hit you until she knocked you out, or would you hit back?[/quote:006c747b12]

Generally, the answer should be "No."

But I've been in the situation NotAsian brings up. When I was in fourth grade, this guy thought he'd prove a point so he persuaded two black girls, both bigger than me, to pick a fight after school and kick my ass. If there was a way out, I would have taken it, but believe there wasn't, so I fought. Now, I didn't go all out on them, but I held my own. And then I went home. And their parents told my parents. And I got busted because "You aren't supposed to hit girls."

But if I were in the that situation again, I'd do it the same way.

[Arex]

[quote:5c8ffae895="NotAsian"]
Anyway, the reason this disturbs me is the following scenario: what if the woman was attacking you? Would you just stand there and let her hit you until she knocked you out, or would you hit back?[/quote:5c8ffae895]

Funny you should mention that. I was just about to say that the only time it's okay to use force against a women is when she's angrily chasing you out of the girl's restroom, being belligerent, spewing forth obscenity and cocking back as if to lay the smack down. THEN, and only then, is it okay to push her off the raised platform.

All kidding and inside jokes aside, I think a guy has every right to use reasonable force in his own self defense against a marauding female. I doubt that this would ever necessarily warrant striking the woman/girl with a closed fist (or even slapping her for that matter) but I definitely don't agree that a guy supposed to just sit there and take physical abuse or necessarily flee from the situation if it's not his own doing. Of course, I would say under most circumstances a guy should really only attempt to disarm, restrain or push the aggressor-female out of the way rather than trying to knock her out given the strength disparity. Because of this same disparity and a woman's diminished ability to non-violently defend herself, however, if a girl's being attacked or otherwised threatened with severe bodily injury, I say by all means go for the knockout blow or the disabling kick to the jewels. Guys ought not to be using fear and intimidation of such sorts against a woman.

Just short of self-defense, however, I don't believe it's ever justified to strike, push or otherwise assault your lady (or your fella), no matter the circumstances.


Alex

[kasia]

there's a big difference in the discussing whether we should hit girls in general and whether we should hit our girlfriends or wives. i think, at least.

much of it has to do with the different roles set forth by society that girls and guys play in relationships.

[ImrkevinpakI]

The way i see it , it comes to this conclusion...

" Do you want to win a fight, or do you want to win a girl? "

[amietron]

the thing is, i am an advocate for no violence, but i'd be willing to take a slap or a punch to stay in a relationship. sp says that it's wrong and stuff, but what do you guys think? i figure that if the relationship is that important to me, it's no biggie.

[mrazntre]

generally it's not okay to hit your gf. i do, however think that if the girl is antagonizing you and instigating the situation, the bitch deserves to get slapped. BECAUSE she's pushing your buttons and she knows she is pushing you to the limit, but she still does it because she thinks that you won't touch her. HAH. show her what's up. if she likes to live on the edge, sometime she needs to get pushed off to bring her ass back to reality. anyhow, i wouldn't push my gf to the edge where she'd get so mad at me that she'd wanna hit me, so there should be no reason that she should do it to me. thus, the situation would never come up. girls think they can get away with shit just because they're "girls." how unfair. i treat everyone fairly. if a guy deserves to get hit, so does a girl.

[achtungbaby]

[quote:4e71448027="amietron"]the thing is, i am an advocate for no violence, but i'd be willing to take a slap or a punch to stay in a relationship. sp says that it's wrong and stuff, but what do you guys think? i figure that if the relationship is that important to me, it's no biggie.[/quote:4e71448027]

I disagree. I don't think it's [b:4e71448027]ever[/b:4e71448027] okay to take a slap or punch to stay in a relationship. The only people that say that are battered women who haven't recovered yet.

[Arex]

[quote:80b5fae2ba="mrazntre"]generally it's not okay to hit your gf. i do, however think that if the girl is antagonizing you and instigating the situation, the bitch deserves to get slapped. BECAUSE she's pushing your buttons and she knows she is pushing you to the limit, but she still does it because she thinks that you won't touch her. HAH. show her what's up. if she likes to live on the edge, sometime she needs to get pushed off to bring her ass back to reality. anyhow, i wouldn't push my gf to the edge where she'd get so mad at me that she'd wanna hit me, so there should be no reason that she should do it to me. thus, the situation would never come up. girls think they can get away with shit just because they're "girls." how unfair. i treat everyone fairly. if a guy deserves to get hit, so does a girl.[/quote:80b5fae2ba]

That all sounds terribly reasonable but I think I'd still have reservations about even slapping the girl in such a situation. I think I'd probably just pull the car over and tell the bitch to walk home--nice knowing ya.

For me, the bottom line is that girls shouldn't be pushing a guys' buttons knowing that he won't/can't hit her any more than a guy should be using force or the threat of force against the girl knowing that she can't really defend herself.

Of course, so long as you've got a healthy, reasonably functional relationship, this all should be a non-issue. Maybe that should be the measure: if you ever feel like throwing down on your girlfriend 'cause she's antagonizing you, it's time to get a new one.

Alex

[mrazntre]

[quote:aa28e57ef5]if you ever feel like throwing down on your girlfriend 'cause she's antagonizing you, it's time to get a new one. [/quote:aa28e57ef5]

in which case, that gf would be your ex-gf and then it'd be okay to bomb on her ass cuz she was a bitch anyhow.[/i]

[kasia]

[quote:76f19229a8="mrazntre"]generally it's not okay to hit your gf. i do, however think that if the girl is antagonizing you and instigating the situation, the bitch deserves to get slapped. [/quote:76f19229a8]

i hope you're kidding.

for the rest of the guys: what would you do if you found out your friend was abusing his gf? would you think that it's his business and continue being friends with him? would it affect the amount of respect you hold for him?

[Shuriken]

I need to say how dismayed by how long this discussion has gone on and how many ambiguities people are finding in Kasia's original question. Kasia asked if if was okay for a guy ever to hit his [i:d21dc69bd4]girlfriend[/i:d21dc69bd4]. This is completely different from being attacked by female strangers in the street. If a stranger tries to do you physical harm, you have every right to defend yourself. But if a woman is your [i:d21dc69bd4]girlfriend[/i:d21dc69bd4] — for cryin' out loud — the two of you ought to at least be on speaking terms. So, if you're having some problem that might lead to a violent confrontation, [i:d21dc69bd4]talk about it![/i:d21dc69bd4]

And, ladies, if you ever feel like you need to take a punch from your boyfriend in order to save your relationship, that's a relationship that doesn't deserve to be saved. Break up with the bastard — hell, slap his oshiri with a restraining order — and take a long, hard look at your self-esteem.

I would say that there is one — and only one — circumstance in which it is okay for a man to hit his significant other. And that is when the two are in a [i:d21dc69bd4]mutually consensual[/i:d21dc69bd4] S/M relationship, and the couple has previously agreed that a certain amount of male-on-female physical violence is permissable in their fantasy role-playing sexual games. I don't approve of such violent relationships, but they're out there, and I can't wish them away.

Gosh, Asian guys talking so glibly about hitting their girlfriends? And Asian guys wonder why Asian women relate so much to [i:d21dc69bd4]The Joy Luck Club[/i:d21dc69bd4]!

[achtungbaby]

[quote:f2261fb39e="kasia"]for the rest of the guys: what would you do if you found out your friend was abusing his gf? would you think that it's his business and continue being friends with him? would it affect the amount of respect you hold for him?[/quote:f2261fb39e]

In my current deranged state of mind, I'd do him permanent physical harm.

At the very least, kick his ass.

[kasia]

[quote:d83902b5b9="achtungbaby"][quote:d83902b5b9="kasia"]for the rest of the guys: what would you do if you found out your friend was abusing his gf? would you think that it's his business and continue being friends with him? would it affect the amount of respect you hold for him?[/quote:d83902b5b9]

In my current deranged state of mind, I'd do him permanent physical harm.

At the very least, kick his ass.[/quote:d83902b5b9]

that makes me smile. what an honorable man you are, webmaster.

[sxyOptiKali]

My outlook is even if shes beatin u with an iron rod do not hit her, never ever, however i do believe u can hold her till she calms down, or disarm her without causing her much pain at all.

[mrazntre]

if the bitch is hitting me with an iron rod. i'm kickin ass. if my friend was beating his gf, then he probably has good reason to. why is it not wrong for a girl to hit a guy? that's bullshit. egalatarian society begins with the same respect regardless of gender. "i'm a girl, you can't hit me." that's just a bunch of bullshit.

i don't condone any unprovoked act of abuse or something insignificant. But serious, if a girl has an axe or a hammer and is trying to do you physical harm. don't be a dumbshit. fucking slap that bitch around until she's disarmed and harmless. i am not going to jeopardize my life just because i can't hit a girl. fuck that.

if anyone disagrees with me, then in a sense you condone male abuse by a female. what's the difference when you switch genders? And if you are a feminist, please don't contradict your stance by referring to physical dominance.

[princess]

i dont condone any act of violence in a relationship unless its self defense. if the gf is attacking the guy or vice versa of course they have the right to fight back. same goes for any other person in ur life. and of course there is a point where the beating has to stop. stop when theyre disarmed, dont go knockin em till theyre senseless.

[achtungbaby]

[quote:3c2e9ff380="mrazntre"]if the bitch is hitting me with an iron rod. i'm kickin ass. if my friend was beating his gf, then he probably has good reason to. why is it not wrong for a girl to hit a guy? that's bullshit. egalatarian society begins with the same respect regardless of gender. "i'm a girl, you can't hit me." that's just a bunch of bullshit.[/quote:3c2e9ff380]

So if a 10 year old ever attacked you, you'd let beat the crap out of him/her?

I agree that gender issues might seem hypocritical sometimes, but that doesn't change the fact that physically, men and women are different. Sure, women might want it both ways sometimes (*ahem*...in terms of wanting equal rights), but it still doesn't change the fact that men are built differently than women.

Granted, I've never been in a situation where a girl attacked me with a weapon or something. Luckily, I've been able to avoid such situations. But should they occur, sure, if my body is serious danger, I'd have to defend myself, but in the same way, if a kid with a baseball bat attacked me, I wouldn't need to beat the living shit out of him to be safe.

[quote:3c2e9ff380="mrazntre"]if anyone disagrees with me, then in a sense you condone male abuse by a female.[/quote:3c2e9ff380]

No, honestly, I think it's too simplistic to look at it like that. Like I said, defending yourself doesn't mean beating the shit out of her nor does it condone male abuse.

[achtungbaby]

To add: I'm not current on the latest statistics re: battered women, but I remember when kasia was working on a case to get probation for a woman whod' been in jail for over 15 years. And there are actually quite a few women in jail for killing their abusive husbands. The point? When we're talking about "hitting women" in reality the vast majority of the cases aren't about men defending themselves against these psycho women, it's psycho men beating the crap out of women like their dogs or something.

I had to go to civil court for a traffic misdeamor recently (*sigh*...don't ask!!). And it was hella disturbing because practically every guy that showed up was there to tell the judge how they'd been dutifully going to their domestic violence counseling classes for beating the crap out of their wives.

Not to mention, a lot of times, men use their physicality to not only abuse women, but rape them too.

[b:739f849aae]So for the for-real, for-real[/b:739f849aae]: if you're a female and your boyfriend has ever laid a hand on you, you need to get out of the relationship. Don't stay to save it, because it won't be worth saving, and most likely, he won't stop hitting you. You don't deserve to be hit by your boyfriend, he isn't your father (much as some of you might like him to be, heh).

[CrX3183]

man it's never ok to your significant other for whatever reason. it doesn't matter who's right or wrong, nothing should resort to violence... and it goes for them women too who think just because there a girl they can hit on there bf, but girl u better watch out if your man doesn't want to take that crap anymore :(

but man where i live, there was this girl who was workin and her man came to pick her up or meet her there or something. well she took a while to come out and that man had the nerve to call her a fat ass pig and shit. YIKES!!!! and when she got out into her car he was like hey i'm talking to u and smashed all the windows on or civic with his bare hand while she was sitting in there. DAMN what a shame....

[CrX3183]

geez u shouldn't hit animals either cause if i was a dog i'll bite the shit out of you... and why would some people beat on lil ass scrapy dogs that don't do anything at all.... :cry: i feel for those dogs, because some girls be treating there man like that. hmph

[DaBestSpooner]

only if they request that I do it, otherwise no.

[achtungbaby]

[quote:cb985ad554="DaBestSpooner"]only if they request that I do it, otherwise no.[/quote:cb985ad554]

Well, [i:cb985ad554]duh[/i:cb985ad554]... :twisted:

[kasia]

check out the similar post in the women's forum and find out how [i:67ae90ce77]we[/i:67ae90ce77] feel.

[jizza]

i actually almost got into a fight with a guy in k-town over this. he was in his gf's face yellin at her like he was about to hit her. i tried to be a nice guy and just asked the guy to chill out cuz it doesn't look right. then he says its his problem and i should mind my own business. we exchanged a few more words and things escalated a little. my gf got into it and started yellin at him. a comment was made by him about how i should regulate my gf. then i went buck-wild. friends held me back, and the guy walked away (of course with his gf following). :roll:

[ImrkevinpakI]

[quote:dc92c6ea5b="jizza"]i actually almost got into a fight with a guy in k-town over this. he was in his gf's face yellin at her like he was about to hit her. i tried to be a nice guy and just asked the guy to chill out cuz it doesn't look right. then he says its his problem and i should mind my own business. we exchanged a few more words and things escalated a little. my gf got into it and started yellin at him. a comment was made by him about how i should regulate my gf. then i went buck-wild. friends held me back, and the guy walked away (of course with his gf following). :roll:[/quote:dc92c6ea5b]

If i was you, i would've walked away along time ago...

[Arex]

[quote:a0f2f092db="ImrkevinpakI"]
If i was you, i would've walked away along time ago...[/quote:a0f2f092db]

I see nothing wrong with at least investigating the matter. I think more people ought to step up and, when the time is right, come to the defense of people who can't or won't defend themselves.

Alex

[princess]

i think its awesome when guys stick up for girls like that. my friend and i were once walking through old town pasadena and he came to the rescue of a girl whos boyfriend was beating on her rite in the street. boy if there were ever a time i admired him more... and then there my current boyfriend who did a similar thing for my friend.

[kasia]

i also think that jizza did a great thing. if a guy is beating his gf in public, i don't think one should ever assume that it's just their business.

[Deeguy]

i think if anyone is being beaten on the street, we shouldnt assume its not our business. Doesn't have to be just the dudes girl... but i get what cha mean :)

[princess]

[quote:2db9d501f6="kasia"]i also think that jizza did a great thing. if a guy is beating his gf in public, i don't think one should ever assume that it's just their business.[/quote:2db9d501f6]

yep theyre both awesome for doing that *thumbs up* =D
another sad thing is that when guys beat on their girls a lot of times they have so much control over the girl that she never leaves him or it takes her forever to get around to it.

[thaite]

I have an ex-gf who married a guy who beats her. Makes me sad that she'd rather stay with a guy who put her in the hospital than with me.

I must really suck.

[achtungbaby]

This is slightly off topic, but I think it can be constructive: situations like the one that jizza described happen a lot, actually, in ktown. Discretion should be required when you're going to step into someone else's businesses -- but not just out of respect for them, but also for your friends as well!! Because anyone who's hung out in ktown knows that one on one fights are non-existent, and there were a couple of times, way back in the day, when my friends told me to be more mindful of them too, because regardless of whether they believed in my present crusade, they'd have to get their ass whooped for it too. And that sucks.

[princess]

well true. when that happened in old town the guys friends were actually watching from far away and stepped up at the same time my guy friends protected the girl. but any guy who rescues a girl from abuse gets a good name in my book.

[Faithless]

Originally posted by kasia@Jun 29 2002, 05:21 PM
[quote:76f19229a8="mrazntre"]generally it's not okay to hit your gf. i do, however think that if the girl is antagonizing you and instigating the situation, the bitch deserves to get slapped. [/quote:76f19229a8]

i hope you're kidding.

for the rest of the guys: what would you do if you found out your friend was abusing his gf? would you think that it's his business and continue being friends with him? would it affect the amount of respect you hold for him?
Domestic violence is domestic violence. Friend or not. I would call the cops.

[Deadpool]

If she attacks me physically first, you know the bitch gonna get got.

[Deadpool]

Or I'll call my sister or mom and they come over and kick her ass for me.

[rakovlam]

In self-defense, yes. Now you know how my relationships work.

[Deadpool]

Wanna act like a man expet to be treated like one.

[Chester]

It's okay to hit an S.O. in the sense that it's okay to hit anyone: in self-defense. That is, if you need to hit in order to not be hit, it's kosher.

I don't see what gender has to do with it. Yeah, I can't really picture throwing a closed fist at a woman, but if some woman's really going to whale on me, I'm not going to feel guilty about throwing a punch.

As for hitting a woman because you're really peeved/ticked/whatever -- that would be stupid. But so would hitting a guy for those reasons.

This reminds me of a "rumble" my friends and I got into one night some years ago. A bunch of us were in SJ Japantown at a karaoke place. I'm out back with a Buddy X, who is basically a giant wall of flesh. Some guy and a girl are yelling at each other, I get sick of listening to them yap, and go inside.

A few minutes later, Acquaintance A opens the back door and yells "Buddy X is in a fight!" So me and Buddy Y run outside, leaving poor Friends B and C wondering what the fuck is going on (they were old college friends who'd just moved to town).

I get outside to see Buddy X fighting and, basically, beating up two guys simultaneously. He seems to be handling himself just fine, so I latch onto some third guy who's mouthing off and seems ready to take his chances in the fracas. It turns out to be the jackass who was yelling at his girlfriend. It also turns out that my Buddy X bum-rushed the guy because the guy appeared to smack his girlfriend.

So I back him up in the corner and basically start lecturing him about how much of a dumbfuck he is and isn't he sorry for hitting his girl because, 1. It's a fucked-up thing to hit someone you're supposed to love, and 2. Because how he just unleashed the Incredible Hulk on his friends and himself and goddammit now I have to deal with it.

Meanwhile, Little Buddy Y has jumped onto Mongo Buddy X, and is riding piggy-back, trying to keep Mongo Buddy X from killing someone (the next day, Buddy Y finds bruises on his back from being backed up into a cyclone fence post multiple times -- he failed to announce his identity to Buddy X).

Eventually, everyone shoots their wad and I'm still yelling at the original abusive moron, who swears that he didn't actually hit the girl, but that they were just horsing around. The girl, who's in tears at this point, swears he's telling the truth. No way to verify and it's not our place to get too far into the situation, so we drop the beef, and head inside.

As we walk in the door, Buddy X's name is called to go up on stage for a song. As the song intro starts wafting through the bar, Buddy X announces, "Don't ever hit your girlfriend in front of me, otherwise I'll beat the snot out of you..."...and then..."Are you lonesome tonight...Do you miss me tonight?...Are you sorry..we drifted..apart?"

Classic, classic moment.

[pfc beansprout]

no way...i don't even curse or raise my voice @ my gf...still not good (i often shut up and don't discuss it)...but i don't want to say somethin stupid i will regret later...

[Emperor_Mike]

Absolutely not. To even entertain such a recourse is in absolute violation of a gentleman's code of conduct.

I've beaten up a (former) friend on the account that he smacked his girlfriend (another good friend of mine) around. The brute had it coming and I'm glad I broke his arm and nose. [Unreasonable Statement] People like that don't deserve to live. :angry: [/Unreasonable Statement]

[MellowDrama]

Originally posted by Chester@Jun 24 2003, 08:10 PM
[excellent story...]
One question, how many of the peoples involved were Asian?

:lol:

[Faithless]

Originally posted by Deadpool@Jun 24 2003, 05:01 PM
If she attacks me physically first, you know the bitch gonna get got.
How long do you go at each other that way before someone says, <b><i>"This shit aint workin out!"</i></b>

[golden_buns]

I always spank her booty when she makes an insolent comment

[Deadpool]

Angry sex is also an alternative.

[deez nuts]

i bitch slap my ho's when i catch them skimming money from me when their done doing their "nightshift."

hahahaha kidding.....

[TyroneK(prettypretty)]

Why slap when you can shoot or stab?

Honestly people. If you got to do something, go all the way. Don't do it half-ass.

[thaite]

My bitch betta give me all my money.
I said, my ho betta have all my dough.
Not some, not half, but all my cash.
Cuz if she don't, I'ma put my foot in her ass.

[ChinaLama]

Originally posted by VBKao@Jun 25 2003, 06:37 PM
Why slap when you can shoot or stab?

Honestly people. If you got to do something, go all the way. Don't do it half-ass.
cuz then she'd be dead and can't give you head. duh!

unless you have a lot of formaldehyde. in that case then even if she is dead she can still give you head for a long long time.

[deez nuts]

Originally posted by ChinaLama@Jun 25 2003, 01:56 PM
Originally posted by VBKao@Jun 25 2003, 06:37 PM
Why slap when you can shoot or stab?

Honestly people. If you got to do something, go all the way. Don't do it half-ass.
cuz then she'd be dead and can't give you head. duh!

unless you have a lot of formaldehyde. in that case then even if she is dead she can still give you head for a long long time.
and cuz you'll be short one cash cow.

[deez nuts]

Originally posted by thaite@Jun 25 2003, 01:48 PM
My bitch betta give me all my money.
I said, my ho betta have all my dough.
Not some, not half, but all my cash.
Cuz if she don't, I'ma put my foot in her ass.
you deserve a Ph.D in pimpology.

fazzizzil izzil thats da dizzil for my jizzil.

[Uncle Tat]

RESPECT MY AUTHORITY!

[ChinaLama]

Originally posted by Uncle Tat@Jun 26 2003, 04:54 AM
RESPECT MY AUTHORITY!
isn't it authori-tay or authori-tah?

[TyroneK(prettypretty)]

Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Jun 25 2003, 02:16 PM
Originally posted by ChinaLama@Jun 25 2003, 01:56 PM
Originally posted by VBKao@Jun 25 2003, 06:37 PM
Why slap when you can shoot or stab?

Honestly people. If you got to do something, go all the way. Don't do it half-ass.
cuz then she'd be dead and can't give you head. duh!

unless you have a lot of formaldehyde. in that case then even if she is dead she can still give you head for a long long time.
and cuz you'll be short one cash cow.
Then you shouldn't hit her then, should you? If you're so destitute as to have to rely on a woman for money, then you, like any other businessman, should approach your cash source with a firm, but light, touch.

Or you could just use Rohypnol.

[deez nuts]

Originally posted by VBKao@Jun 27 2003, 09:20 AM
Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Jun 25 2003, 02:16 PM
Originally posted by ChinaLama@Jun 25 2003, 01:56 PM
Originally posted by VBKao@Jun 25 2003, 06:37 PM
Why slap when you can shoot or stab?

Honestly people. If you got to do something, go all the way. Don't do it half-ass.
cuz then she'd be dead and can't give you head. duh!

unless you have a lot of formaldehyde. in that case then even if she is dead she can still give you head for a long long time.
and cuz you'll be short one cash cow.
Then you shouldn't hit her then, should you? If you're so destitute as to have to rely on a woman for money, then you, like any other businessman, should approach your cash source with a firm, but light, touch.

Or you could just use Rohypnol.

hahahahaha nice

it comes with the territory when you big pimpin'

[mr. x]

in the situation where she is fighting you i think you should try to simply restrain her if she's not that strong

of course in the case of two BIG "williams sisters" then thats different, if you really cant restrain them or get away and they are doing major harm then go ahead

i hit girls in Vice City all the time

[nonamerasian]

generally it's not okay to hit your gf. i do, however think that if the girl is antagonizing you and instigating the situation, the bitch deserves to get slapped. BECAUSE she's pushing your buttons and she knows she is pushing you to the limit, but she still does it because she thinks that you won't touch her. HAH. show her what's up. if she likes to live on the edge, sometime she needs to get pushed off to bring her ass back to reality. anyhow, i wouldn't push my gf to the edge where she'd get so mad at me that she'd wanna hit me, so there should be no reason that she should do it to me. thus, the situation would never come up. girls think they can get away with shit just because they're "girls." how unfair. i treat everyone fairly. if a guy deserves to get hit, so does a girl.

I thought this was a joke.

[steakandrice]

Personally, I never have hit a girl even though I've been slapped, had my shirt torn, smacked, and have been pushed around. (hahahah....sigh.........)

There was one time when I really wanted me to smack my ex when she threw my car into netural when I was driving like 35 miles an hour.

First of all, if you would come to the point that smacking someone is necessary, what are you doing in that relationship in the first place??????????

Another part of me feels that....sometimes a girl needs to be put in her place.... Don't give her a full blown facial punch that would knock some teeth out....but a nice pimp slap should do the trick.

[BaiginLong]

personally I find it unacceptable to hit a girl
at most restrain her without hurting her if neccessary
and if you aren't capable of doing that i suggest a few martial arts lessons

and if you aren't capable of keeping your girl from beating the hell out of you how in ther world do you keep her satisfied?????

[nonamerasian]

Another part of me feels that....sometimes a girl needs to be put in her place.... Don't give her a full blown facial punch that would knock some teeth out....but a nice pimp slap should do the trick.

Put her in her place?

You're not her papi.

[shy]

generally it's not okay to hit your gf. i do, however think that if the girl is antagonizing you and instigating the situation, the bitch deserves to get slapped. BECAUSE she's pushing your buttons and she knows she is pushing you to the limit, but she still does it because she thinks that you won't touch her. HAH. show her what's up. if she likes to live on the edge, sometime she needs to get pushed off to bring her ass back to reality. anyhow, i wouldn't push my gf to the edge where she'd get so mad at me that she'd wanna hit me, so there should be no reason that she should do it to me. thus, the situation would never come up. girls think they can get away with shit just because they're "girls." how unfair. i treat everyone fairly. if a guy deserves to get hit, so does a girl.

dude, if you find yourself in a relationship where either party is using any hitting/slapping or physical force as a way to get control or push-buttons or how ever you want to classify it...

my only advice is to get counceling... because it is so obvious that the relationship is unhealthy and screwed up. it's not even a case of, 'well, if the guy gets hit, so should the girl!' that's so beyond proper reason and logic when we're talking about a healthy relationship.

and no, to answer your question, it's not about gender... it's about the fact that violence has no place in any good relationship! it shouldn't. and even when us women are taught self defence, we are taught that if a guy attacks us, do what we can to stun him just so we can buy time to RUN AWAY. this does not mean taking our time by ramming some heavy object over his head. so to use the same logic as what you were trying to use... if women are taught to do this, then why would it be okay for a guy being attacked by a woman to stick around and blast her ass? think about it.

[shy]

the thing is, i am an advocate for no violence, but i'd be willing to take a slap or a punch to stay in a relationship. sp says that it's wrong and stuff, but what do you guys think? i figure that if the relationship is that important to me, it's no biggie.

a relationship that resorts to any violence should never be important enough for the person getting hit to justify staying.

if some one loves and respects you, they would never hit you. and if they didn't love you, they would have the decency to leave you before it ever got to that stage... or at least seek counceling for their violent urges.

from what i've seen... one slap or punch never stays with just one slap or punch. trust me... i am talking from experience.

[BaiginLong]

shy is very right one slap/punch never stays that way
shit like that turns into a score card

look in my opinnion if he's willing to hit you then the relationships not worth it honey

[Icepak]

I think it's mind-boggling that some of you actually think it's ok to hit your wife/gf! You are one shitty communicator if you have to resort to smacking down your "ho" to put her "in her place." I know that nobody was born with a relationship manual in our brains and most of our parents were crappy teachers when it comes to the communications department but hitting your significant other to get ANY point across is appalling. Those that stay in such relationships and take that sort of abuse (YES - it's abuse) usually have a hugh hole to climb out of because of the co-dependent and psychological holds the "controller" has over them

Self-defense is another issue. If a female attacks a guy and he needs to defend himself, try tickling. Gets them every time!

[nonamerasian]

Self-defense is another issue. If a female attacks a guy and he needs to defend himself, try tickling. Gets them every time!

Yo!

Stop telling secrets!

[Ogumo]

Well a couple should not be physically attacking each other (unless it is in the bed room of course haha) in the first place. If you have to defend your self from your spouse you should not be in this relationship. I dont see it as acceptable for a man to attack his wife in any situation unless it is a life and death matter. Anything less then that...no. If your argue is "I must defend myself from her" Fine. But you should just punch or physically strike the woman... if anything just restrain and call the cops. If I ever saw another person do this I would not take it lightly. My grand father used to hit my grandmother even then I would try to explaine that this behavior is wrong. usually the result was me being hit for questioning his actions.

[Icepak]

Ya know, I was watching a Korean movie the other day and it struck me as how easily Korean men still beat/hit women to maintain control as portrayed in the movie. My Korean friend once tried to get fresh with this Japanese girl and she said, "No thanks, I hear Korean men beat their girls!"

[ChinaLama]

well thats just a stereotype. I'm sure most Korean guys aren't abusive. :)

[Emperor_Mike]

i hate girl beaters. My friend Celena and I witnessed a guy beating up his girlfriend at the Japantown in San Francisco bleh.. here's my account:

Celena and I were walking... all of a sudden busts out with,"Ohmygosh, look there's a fight across the street!" Sure enough, there was a fight. When I turned my head, I saw this girl hit this guy over the head with her purse. After that, the guy was decking the hell out of her and kneeing her on her side. He kept pushing her into this small alley so that nobody would see but he had a huge audience. Celena and I witnessed everything. The girl was about 18-20 and she was a tiny little thing. The boy was an Asian guy who was ghetto fab. He wore faux Gucci from head to toe (Gucci patched jeans, Gucci print shirt, and Gucci cabbie hat). It was absolute madness. He kept on decking her like there was no tomorrow. Cel and I had to cross the street to get to the other side so it was inevitable for us to see what was going on. The guy was walking ahead of the girl and the girl was taking refuge at a bus stop.

Something happened and the guy came back and started hitting the girl again. Celena and I wanted to grab the girl and ask her if she wanted a ride home because we were willing to get her the hell away from her bf. The girl started walking the away from Japantown and her bf kept following her. I wanted to get his attention so I said,"Hey! Don't do that!" and I shook my head. He turned around and Celena and I were like,"Oh shit.. he's gonna come after us now!" Luckily, I distracted him enough so that the girl could escape. She totally booked it. She ran as fast as she could up the hill and we never saw her again.

Cel and I finally reached my car and we were deciding on whether or not we should pursue the guy. As we were trying to figure out what we were going to do, this guy comes up to us and says,"Hey did you all see that? I was getting off the bus and I saw him beating that girl!" We were like,"Yeah!!!" Since we had this guy with us.. we were fearless. We went on to follow that guy and we called 911 on Celena's phone while we were on pursuit. Just our luck, right when we got to the corner of the block we saw a motorcycle cop. We got his attention and told him about the girlbeater. Then 2 patrol cars came over. The girlbeater was like,"I did not hit her.. she stole my wallet.. can I talk to you one on one officer?" The whole time Cel, the bus bystander, and I were like,"Whatever.. you beat her ass down!" The cops put him in cuffs and put him in one of the patrol cars. This female officer took our testimonies and that was that. Talk about drama! I think it's a good thing that we tried to stop that guy. Who knows what could have happened with that girl if he caught up to her. He would have beat the shit out of her, I bet. This was a traumatizing experience.


Terrible.

[mr. x]

This was a traumatizing experience.

whats even scarier is like, u dont even know if she's with him period. did you simply assume they were together? i spose she woulda called for help but yeah

[hå†êléss]

is it okay to hit your girlfriend? how about push? how about punch the wall right next to her face?
perhaps if she deserves it?
please share.

Yeah certainly it's perfectly okay, if you're a little weak ass pussy who isn't a man. I wouldn't even hit a girl if she slapped me, either. That's just wrong. And do you even have to bother to ask? Why, if we all say its okay, you're going to do it?

[Lingmui]

I reckon men should never hit/slap/punch a girl in any circumstance...

[hå†êléss]

I reckon men should never hit/slap/punch a girl in any circumstance...

Thank's for reiterating, Bob.

[nonamerasian]

Yeah certainly it's perfectly okay, if you're a little weak ass pussy who isn't a man. I wouldn't even hit a girl if she slapped me, either. That's just wrong. And do you even have to bother to ask? Why, if we all say its okay, you're going to do it?

I think she just wanted opinions from different points-of-views. You know--Generate discussion.