price to pay - dating older boys

[kasia]

many asian parents are stricter with girls than they are with boys. girls are expected to come home earlier, go out less, etc.

parents get especially protective when their daughters are dating older boys. in anna's case - she dated an older man. she was 13. he was 20. ]

her dad became upset and spanked her.

a nosy teacher at school had her taken away.

she became depressed.

she tried to commit suicide.

rookie cop kristin rupp shot her.

anna is now charged with assault with a deadly weapon to cover up the officer's mistake.

****

many of us have gotten in fights with parents or grandparents over boys. i'm sure we can all relate. in anna's situation, though, things just got a bit out of hand.

[Arex]

I blame the dirty 20 year old trying to get with the child... WTF is up with that shit??

Alex

[deez nuts]

Originally posted by Arex@Nov 7 2002, 05:17 PM
I blame the dirty 20 year old trying to get with the child... WTF is up with that shit??

Alex
Yup, I'm with arex. I would've planted that 20 year old flat on his ass.

[amietron]

taking a child away from a parent's custody is a big deal, though. the county should have taken into consideration how much mental damage it could cause for anne and provided a translator for the family. more emphasis on that.

do mexican families get translators so that cops can understand them? i'd assume, yes. why shouldn't chinese people?

[kasia]

Originally posted by amietron@Nov 7 2002, 10:35 PM
taking a child away from a parent's custody is a big deal, though. the county should have taken into consideration how much mental damage it could cause for anne and provided a translator for the family. more emphasis on that.

do mexican families get translators so that cops can understand them? i'd assume, yes. why shouldn't chinese people?
amie's got a good point. in administrative proceedings, you're not entitled to an interpreter. mr. guo speaks NO English. thus, he was unable to defend himself. arguably, having your daughter taken away is just as much of a punishment as being sent to prison.

when that happened, anna's dad sold his restaurant and took anna's younger brother back to china for a break. he said he was so devastated that he could not stay in this country.

[Hanuman]

Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Nov 7 2002, 10:28 PM
Originally posted by Arex@Nov 7 2002, 05:17 PM
I blame the dirty 20 year old trying to get with the child...  WTF is up with that shit??

Alex
Yup, I'm with arex. I would've planted that 20 year old flat on his ass.
I'm with you 2 on this. If anyone should be facing jail time, it's this creep.

[angel nympho]

I never told my parents how old the guys I dated were.

They found out once about a guy who was 19 when I was 16 and threatened to call the cops on him. But I think that had more to do with the fact that they thought we were having sex and doing drugs together than it did with his age.

[unordinary.girl]

My parents never had a problem with the guys I was seeing, but I guess that must be because none of the guys I have been dating have every been more than 2 or 3 years older than me...

And I go right along with the rest of you...wtf was this 20 yr old guy doin with a 13 yr old girl?? That's just plain wrong... :huh:

[applehead]

Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Nov 7 2002, 02:28 PM
Originally posted by Arex@Nov 7 2002, 05:17 PM
I blame the dirty 20 year old trying to get with the child...  WTF is up with that shit??

Alex
Yup, I'm with arex. I would've planted that 20 year old flat on his ass.
yeah totally.

he should've used better judgment.

[Saiko]

I'm currently keeping from my parents the fact that I'm dating a 17 year old guy. But I mean, he's legal, right? Only my sister knows, and she's not even easy with the idea. But he's only 3 years older than me. Don't know when he turns 18. Probably next year. My parents let me hang out with all these older guys, but they're uneasy about it so if I tell them, they'd freak out. Also because of the fact that I just got out of another relationship, so they'll definitely say stuff like, "Don't go crazy with dating! You with all these boys! It's bad for you! Blah blah blah shit shit shit." They're already like, "Be careful of all these friends of your's. Why can't you be friends with more people your age?" Please. I choose my friends well.

[UnitedChris81]

As long as everyone is 18+ they can make their own decisions...none of my affair

[angel nympho]

Originally posted by UnitedChris81@Nov 9 2002, 02:39 AM
As long as everyone is 18+ they can make their own decisions...none of my affair
Even if your daughter was 18 and she was fucking a 60 year old? :gross:

[unordinary.girl]

Originally posted by angel nympho@Nov 8 2002, 09:58 PM
Originally posted by UnitedChris81@Nov 9 2002, 02:39 AM
As long as everyone is 18+ they can make their own decisions...none of my affair
Even if your daughter was 18 and she was fucking a 60 year old? :gross:
LOL

That's gross!!!

But yeah, that shit happens all the time, some scantily clad bombshell with some old ass dood that looks like death is about to take it's toll on him.....it's all about the bling bling.....hahaha...at least that's what its usually about 99% of the time.

I mean geez, what person would want to fuck someone old to enough to be their grandpa/grandma??? :blink:

[kwalan]

Originally posted by unordinary.girl@Nov 9 2002, 12:10 AM
Originally posted by angel nympho@Nov 8 2002, 09:58 PM
Originally posted by UnitedChris81@Nov 9 2002, 02:39 AM
As long as everyone is 18+ they can make their own decisions...none of my affair
Even if your daughter was 18 and she was fucking a 60 year old? :gross:
LOL

That's gross!!!

But yeah, that shit happens all the time, some scantily clad bombshell with some old ass dood that looks like death is about to take it's toll on him.....it's all about the bling bling.....hahaha...at least that's what its usually about 99% of the time.

I mean geez, what person would want to fuck someone old to enough to be their grandpa/grandma??? :blink:
rich old dude wants to go out with 'bang' (http://entertainment.yahoo.com/entnews/wwn/20021024/103547160007.html) heh

[kasia]

so a lot of us have hid our older bfs from our parents.

suppose, however, that the facts were slightly different. suppose that you and your parents got into a huge fight over it and they even spanked you. suppose further that your 19 year old boyfriend found out about this and asked you to report this to your school because he knows that your parents could potentially be in 'deep shit'. now suppose that you follow his suggestion and the school conducts an investigation. suppose that your parents are really poor and your entire family lives in a one bedroom studio in a really dangerous neighborhood. suppose that your parents also don't speak English. suppose that the social worker thus believed they were incompentent parents and decided to send you to a foster home. suppose that your parents could not afford an attorney at the custody hearing and could not even defend themselves given their limited English. you are then stuck in a foster home. even worse, you are now feeling extremely ashamed because you know your parents are devastated that you were taken away.

things could have turned out very differently if your parents were poor and could not speak English. there was a price Anna Guo had to pay for being rebellious. her family was not only torn apart, but she also became suicidal, was shot three times, and now faces charges for a crime she did not commit. anna can potentially (and very likely, unless we act) be convicted of felony assault with a deadly weapon.

can we let this injustice occur?

please see http://anna.yellowworld.org to see how you can help in our letter campaign. a letter from you can change Anna's future.

[Fireblade]

As a 21 year old, I honestly believe the 20 yr old guy was thinking in a certain way that all of us males consequently think about. It's a 3 letter word. You get three tries to guess what it is. . .

In any case, this case was handled wrongly, with the police, the DA, everything. SNAFUs up the ass here.

As for the 20 yr old, I personally believe that is disgusting. Granted he's 7 years older.... what the hell am I saying?!! He's just flat-out DISGUSTING!! There is no chance in hell that I would ever involve myself with anyone younger than 18, much less a 13 yr old kid. That's just twisted and junk. What did he think would come out of it? ::sigh::

:pissed:

[kasia]

Originally posted by Fireblade@Nov 9 2002, 11:30 AM
As a 21 year old, I honestly believe the 20 yr old guy was thinking in a certain way that all of us males consequently think about. It's a 3 letter word. You get three tries to guess what it is. . .

In any case, this case was handled wrongly, with the police, the DA, everything. SNAFUs up the ass here.

As for the 20 yr old, I personally believe that is disgusting. Granted he's 7 years older.... what the hell am I saying?!! He's just flat-out DISGUSTING!! There is no chance in hell that I would ever involve myself with anyone younger than 18, much less a 13 yr old kid. That's just twisted and junk. What did he think would come out of it? ::sigh::

:pissed:
thanks for your input. i absolutely agree with you. what does 'snafus' stand for, though?

[Craig]

Originally posted by kasia@Nov 9 2002, 06:52 AM
thanks for your input.  i absolutely agree with you.  what does 'snafus' stand for, though?
situation normal all fucked up

[igcognito]

it is the 20 year olds fault. I would kill him. He is a PERVERT!!!

[Saiko]

Angry people here. o_O

[kasia]

Originally posted by Saiko@Nov 10 2002, 06:48 PM
Angry people here. o_O
saiko, what do you think of all this? you are the closest in age to anna, after all.

[Saiko]

I think I would be very protective of my daughter, because I know that in most (I'm not gonna assume it's all, because you never know) cases, a 20 year old wouldn't date a 14 year old just because "hey, she's a great girl with a great personality". I would forbid her to date him, and would only let her see him in public places or supervised. And still yet, I would be uneasy.
Me, I would only date people at my school grade 11 and above because that's where all my friends are. Plus, the people in grade 9 and 10 are extremely idiotic. One of the guys that I was friends with in grade 10 sexually harassed me even. But I don't know. If I met a great guy and he was in grade 9 or 10, I wouldn't reject him. I'm just saying. At my school, there's no decent guys in 9 or 10.

[kasia]

Originally posted by Saiko@Nov 11 2002, 12:05 AM
I think I would be very protective of my daughter, because I know that in most (I'm not gonna assume it's all, because you never know) cases, a 20 year old wouldn't date a 14 year old just because "hey, she's a great girl with a great personality". I would forbid her to date him, and would only let her see him in public places or supervised. And still yet, I would be uneasy.
Me, I would only date people at my school grade 11 and above because that's where all my friends are. Plus, the people in grade 9 and 10 are extremely idiotic. One of the guys that I was friends with in grade 10 sexually harassed me even. But I don't know. If I met a great guy and he was in grade 9 or 10, I wouldn't reject him. I'm just saying. At my school, there's no decent guys in 9 or 10.
are you a part of the asian club at your school? would they be willing to write a letter on behalf of anna?

[Saiko]

The only Asian club at my school is the fob club, and they scare me. Every single one has bleached hair, Tokyo style clothing, they only communicate with each other, and they don't seem very capable of speaking English. They're a messed up stereotype. A few screamed at me in Korean once, while I was at my locker. I didn't get it. o_O I'm not saying that all the Asians at my school are like this. 1% aren't. Thus, 99% of my friends are non-Asian. The Asian ones are white washed. So I'm assuming they'd shrug the case off.

[mydnyht]

Originally posted by Tawee@Nov 7 2002, 11:06 PM
Originally posted by Chasiubao_Boy@Nov 7 2002, 10:28 PM
Originally posted by Arex@Nov 7 2002, 05:17 PM
I blame the dirty 20 year old trying to get with the child... WTF is up with that shit??

Alex
Yup, I'm with arex. I would've planted that 20 year old flat on his ass.
I'm with you 2 on this. If anyone should be facing jail time, it's this creep.
I agree.. he's really too old for her

[mydnyht]

Originally posted by kasia@Nov 9 2002, 11:11 AM
so a lot of us have hid our older bfs from our parents.

suppose, however, that the facts were slightly different. suppose that you and your parents got into a huge fight over it and they even spanked you. suppose further that your 19 year old boyfriend found out about this and asked you to report this to your school because he knows that your parents could potentially be in 'deep shit'. now suppose that you follow his suggestion and the school conducts an investigation. suppose that your parents are really poor and your entire family lives in a one bedroom studio in a really dangerous neighborhood. suppose that your parents also don't speak English. suppose that the social worker thus believed they were incompentent parents and decided to send you to a foster home. suppose that your parents could not afford an attorney at the custody hearing and could not even defend themselves given their limited English. you are then stuck in a foster home. even worse, you are now feeling extremely ashamed because you know your parents are devastated that you were taken away.

things could have turned out very differently if your parents were poor and could not speak English. there was a price Anna Guo had to pay for being rebellious. her family was not only torn apart, but she also became suicidal, was shot three times, and now faces charges for a crime she did not commit. anna can potentially (and very likely, unless we act) be convicted of felony assault with a deadly weapon.

can we let this injustice occur?

please see http://anna.yellowworld.org to see how you can help in our letter campaign. a letter from you can change Anna's future.
my mom used to spank me when i was little. if my parents did that now, i'd have a fit.
WTF is all that with them thinking her parents were incompetent cuz they didn't speak english??? that's arse-9!
i'm definitely writing a letter

[mydnyht]

I'm also close to Anna's age... I turn 14 in December... I would never, ever go out with a guy that much older... I mean, isn't that illegal? I can very much relate with being suicidal... and I think that's awful what's happening right now...

[kasia]

Originally posted by mydnyht@Nov 17 2002, 12:46 AM
I'm also close to Anna's age... I turn 14 in December... I would never, ever go out with a guy that much older... I mean, isn't that illegal? I can very much relate with being suicidal... and I think that's awful what's happening right now...
yeh...it is illegal.

i think i kinda mislead people in posting this thread. the boy that anna dated initially had nothing to do with her becoming suicidal, etc. it's just that she fought with her dad about him, told her social worker she wasn't getting along with her dad, and got pulled out of her home and placed into foster care.

i just thought that...dating older boys and fighting with parents was something we could all relate to...we've all done it...but none of us have ended in the mess that anna is in now.

http://anna.yellowworld.org

please help spread the word.

mydnight - i saw what you wrote on the petition :) thanks for your support.