"too white"?

[noriko]

Is there anyone else here who, in spite of having asian ancestry, looks very white?

I look a lot more like my white relatives than my Japanese or Chinese family members. To most people, at least non-Asians, I really don't even look asian at all.

is this the case for anyone else? if so, has it ever caused problems for you? How have you responded to this situation?

[digiaks]

i think most hapas can pass off as whites. whites with darker hair and slightly almost eyes. for me it has never been a problem. if anything it is beneficial when dealing with those that are racial towards asians.

[noriko]

hmm...interesting point. actually i was wondering about how you deal with other asians/asian americans who think you are not asian/not "asian enough" etc.

maybe it's just cos so many of my friends are asian, and because i've spent time in asian countries, but for me being mistaken as white has always been kinda a negative thing. even if you are *from* an asian country and have lived there all your life and speak the language fluently, you are still looked at as a foreigner. i can definitely see how it would work the other way tho.

and here's a question to others who can "pass as white" (whether by accident or on purpose): have you ever wished you looked more asian?

[Hiroshi2]

Interesting. I am a black/asian mixed hapa but I definitely look black. People have said that they can tell by my eyes, but that's about it. To 99% of the people, I look a typical light-skinned black guy. But as for white/asian hapas, in my personal experience about 7 or 8 out of every 10 I've met look fully Asian, while maybe 2 look fully white, and 1 looked like a true white/asian mixture.

[BeTheReds]

Yo! I look white. And yes it had left me out of a few Asian cirlces and I get accused of being an asiaphile cuz the majority of the women I have dated have been asian. People look at me and pass judgement right away. This may be something innocent (yet extremely annoying) like giving me a fork at a restaurant, or it may be something much worse, like getting punched in the face for walking in Annandale, VA (Koreatown for DC) with an asian girl...(who consequently was not my gf, nor was she korean, but fuck it.. i was white and stealing this dude's women.) I've been denied access to a Korean club in DC as the bouncer claimed there was a reserved party inside and I couldnt go in cuz i wasnt invited. Meanwhile my freidns arrived a little earlier and were already inside, all having decided to go spur of the moment. I sometimes got denied access to my bank account.. and my credit card was not good for one store cuz the white face didnt match the asian name. I get seriously looked over at all asian parties and basically even in the group of asian friends that i roll with, I am the white guy. And heaven forbid I don't give a shit about Yao Ming and I wanted my Orioles to beat the Mariners and Ichiro when we went to watch them. How un asian of me..

Wanna know anything else?

[kimpossible]

Not all, but a lot of what BeTheReds says goes for me. Writing it again would be redundant.

I'm just not as bitter. :P

Actually, most of the Asian peeps I know are fob. I get a lot of 'foreigner this' ' foreigner that' when they first meet me but it usually stops after about an hour. It used to piss me off when I was more sensitive about it, but I really stopped caring about 3-4 years ago. I think the stop caring issue arose from me realizing I was doing so much Chinese shit that I was more scared of being swallowed up by a Chinese identity than I was pissed off at being treated like a dumbass foreigner.

Oh well. I use my situation to my advantage. If someone in the family or a friend needs something done and they feel they're getting crappy treatment because they're Asian and fob, I go down with my white skin and accentless English and usually get it taken care of. I also don't let on what languages I understand or that I'm part Asian. Many people underestimate me and I will use it for business purposes.

edited because I'm a moron and couldn't get Eugene's screen name right. Next time, I'm just going to start calling you Beth.

[BeTheReds]

By the way, for the most part I've only felt this kind of discrimination from AAs, most Koreans from Korea or Japanese from Japan I have met don't treat me like this.

[noriko]

well, FWIW, both of you definitely look identifiably asian to me (eugene, i looked at your website that you listed in your profile).

and i've noticed that too-- it's mainly other AAs who will say things like "you're really just white, why are you pretending to be asian?" In Japan, once people realize that the japanese people i'm with are my relatives, they just figure it out, and it doesn't seem to bother them that i don't look exactly like everyone else in the country.

oh and hey, nobody answered the other question-- do you wish you looked more asian, or more white? Girls/women, have you ever tried to do anything makeup-wise to look more one way or the other?

[kimpossible]

Oh sure, I usually rotate ethnicities. I get tired of looking one way and I'll change my hair color and makeup to look another. It's a total hoot of a social experiment. I love seeing how people treat me differently.

Plus, my man digs the changes if you know what I mean.

[BeTheReds]

I don't change at all. I mean other than having a different hair style now and then. I usually go for the Korean cockroach antenna look that some people hate.


Oh, by all the pictures on my website i think I may have subconsiously chosen the ones that make me look more asian than the other ones.

[YuheiCarreau]

I have my (Japanese) father's facial features but my mother's pale skin... However there are lots of pale Japanese so unless you met my dad, who's pretty brown, or you knew to look at my eyes, which are light brown, you'd think I'm Asian. I've never been mistaken for White, but every once in a while a Hispanic person will think I'm Hispanic; this happens to my twin sister a lot more because her looks are more ambiguous. Of my two younger sisters, one of them is pale like me but has fairly Asian features and the other is brown like my dad and has been mistaken for Southeast Asian a number of times. When we were little kids, people were always coming up to our mom and asking if we were adopted and stuff like that. Happens less now that we're older though; I guess people think it's rude to come up and talk to us about that stuff (also we don't go everywhere with our mother like we used to).

Bethereds, that's too bad that people don't believe you're Asian. Maybe you could keep a photocopy of your passport in your wallet, for the credit card stuff anyway...

[Green_Jade]

on topic with this

one of my professor's (he's white)...wife is a korean/white hapa... he has four kids.

I saw them when we had a end-of-year bbq at his house last year.... On a passing glance, they look 100% white.. except for the youngest..all of them had blue eyes and light brown hair... But, you look at them carefully and their eyes and nose had slight asianic look to them.. Anyways, I was suprised how fast the asian features "disappeared"

the youngest girl looked more like her mother...

the mom didn't really look like she was half white... she looked filipino to me.

[digiaks]

i havent had problems with the Asian community, i think it is because I can pass as a hapa. Maybe in Asia it would be different. I did live in Korea for a while, but it was when I was a toddler and I didn't remember any problems in those times.

[deez nuts]

Originally posted by BeTheReds@Nov 6 2002, 08:06 PM
Yo! I look white. And yes it had left me out of a few Asian cirlces and I get accused of being an asiaphile cuz the majority of the women I have dated have been asian. People look at me and pass judgement right away. This may be something innocent (yet extremely annoying) like giving me a fork at a restaurant, or it may be something much worse, like getting punched in the face for walking in Annandale, VA (Koreatown for DC) with an asian girl...(who consequently was not my gf, nor was she korean, but fuck it.. i was white and stealing this dude's women.) I've been denied access to a Korean club in DC as the bouncer claimed there was a reserved party inside and I couldnt go in cuz i wasnt invited. Meanwhile my freidns arrived a little earlier and were already inside, all having decided to go spur of the moment. I sometimes got denied access to my bank account.. and my credit card was not good for one store cuz the white face didnt match the asian name. I get seriously looked over at all asian parties and basically even in the group of asian friends that i roll with, I am the white guy. And heaven forbid I don't give a shit about Yao Ming and I wanted my Orioles to beat the Mariners and Ichiro when we went to watch them. How un asian of me..

Wanna know anything else?
Sorry to hear you went thru all that, BTR.

And yeah man down with Ichiro and the Mariners!

[UnitedChris81]

We should have world wide acceptance of an asian-hood card...so we can just flash the card and avoid all hate by all asians:) kinda like a federalyhood:)

[Elizabeth A.]

I look "too white". You would never know I was half Indian.

Once, when I told a few "friends" about my mixed heritage, they began to examine my face, presumably trying to detect some sign of "exotic" beauty that would suddenly make this academic nerd more interesting.

[SunWuKong]

a 5'9" half indian girl...

http://www.koreanpride.com/images/smilies/luv.gif

[kimpossible]

Originally posted by SunWuKung@Nov 13 2002, 03:10 PM
a 5'9" half indian girl...

http://www.koreanpride.com/images/smilies/luv.gif
Has it occurred to you that my forum is not your personal booty buffet?

*THWAP!*

[deez nuts]

Originally posted by Hello_Hapa@Nov 13 2002, 07:12 PM
Originally posted by SunWuKung@Nov 13 2002, 03:10 PM
a 5'9" half indian girl...  

http://www.koreanpride.com/images/smilies/luv.gif
Has it occurred to you that my forum is not your personal booty buffet?

*THWAP!*
:lol: :lol: :D

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by Hello_Hapa@Nov 13 2002, 07:12 PM
Originally posted by SunWuKung@Nov 13 2002, 03:10 PM
a 5'9" half indian girl...  

http://www.koreanpride.com/images/smilies/luv.gif
Has it occurred to you that my forum is not your personal booty buffet?

*THWAP!*
with you being the mother-of-all look-but-can't-touch dish...

[kimpossible]

Originally posted by SunWuKung@Nov 13 2002, 04:23 PM
Originally posted by Hello_Hapa@Nov 13 2002, 07:12 PM
Originally posted by SunWuKung@Nov 13 2002, 03:10 PM
a 5'9" half indian girl...

http://www.koreanpride.com/images/smilies/luv.gif
Has it occurred to you that my forum is not your personal booty buffet?

*THWAP!*
with you being the mother-of-all look-but-can't-touch dish...
*THWAP!*

[SunWuKong]

Originally posted by Hello_Hapa@Nov 13 2002, 07:31 PM
Originally posted by SunWuKung@Nov 13 2002, 04:23 PM
Originally posted by Hello_Hapa@Nov 13 2002, 07:12 PM
Originally posted by SunWuKung@Nov 13 2002, 03:10 PM
a 5'9" half indian girl...

http://www.koreanpride.com/images/smilies/luv.gif
Has it occurred to you that my forum is not your personal booty buffet?

*THWAP!*
with you being the mother-of-all look-but-can't-touch dish...
*THWAP!*
is that a leather whip of seduction +3 you're holding? :luv: :luv: :luv:

[noriko]

hey elizabeth-- welcome to YW! and i know what you mean...i *hate* when people do that! Like they stare at you for a long time to see how you "look asian", and then either go "oh, yeah, i can definitely see it!" or "hmm, you're really asian? you look more native american/mexican/etc" (for some reason people always guess i'm half native american-- i have NO IDEA why!). It feels really judegemental somehow. Oh well...people are stupid :rolleyes:

[kimpossible]

Originally posted by noriko@Nov 13 2002, 04:36 PM
hey elizabeth-- welcome to YW! and i know what you mean...i *hate* when people do that! Like they stare at you for a long time to see how you "look asian", and then either go "oh, yeah, i can definitely see it!" or "hmm, you're really asian? you look more native american/mexican/etc" (for some reason people always guess i'm half native american-- i have NO IDEA why!). It feels really judegemental somehow. Oh well...people are stupid :rolleyes:
Holy smokes, yes. Since I moved to the West Coast I've had many people ask me if I was a meti. At first I thought they were saying yeti until someone explained to me it meant French-Native American.

My sister looks hispanic enough that people come up to her and start speaking spanish.

[Elizabeth A.]

Wait a minute....somebody was ogling ME??????

Wow. I know I should be horrified at the obvious objectification (is that a word?) but wow.

[kimpossible]

:blush:

Sorry I didn't even welcome you properly, Elizabeth. Bad, bad moderator.

Glad you made it here!

[kimpossible]

Originally posted by Elizabeth A.@Nov 13 2002, 07:54 PM
Wait a minute....somebody was ogling ME??????

Wow. I know I should be horrified at the obvious objectification (is that a word?) but wow.
Yes, objectification is a word.

Yes, he was ogling you. Even Asian guys can be Asiaphiles sometimes.

You can be horrified if you wish. I myself like to give monkey king (Sun Wu-kung) a tremendous *thwap!* every once in a while to keep him in line. Feel free to do the same or ogle him back if you wish. If you want to learn some Chinese that will really drive him wild.

haha... though his crazy-ass sig may cramp his game for a while

[Elizabeth A.]

Thanks! I'm sorry I was such a rhymes-with-rich earlier. I'm sure I'll be much more pleasant now that midterms are over! B)

[SunWuKong]

you know what they say
smart girls like to be thought of as beautiful
beautiful girls like to be thought of as smart

[YuheiCarreau]

Originally posted by Elizabeth A.@Nov 13 2002, 05:06 PM
I look "too white". You would never know I was half Indian.

Once, when I told a few "friends" about my mixed heritage, they began to examine my face, presumably trying to detect some sign of "exotic" beauty that would suddenly make this academic nerd more interesting.
For me it's the opposite... People look at me for traces of 'whiteness' or they say "but you look Asian". The other day I had a similar conversation with a friend who has an identical twin sister - according to her when the two of them go places people will say things like "wow, you two look exactly alike!" - as if they didn't already know... Again, with me and my twin sister, people will say the opposite - "But... You don't look alike" - well DUH.


And can I just say - "Booty Buffet"? :blink:

[BeTheReds]

Call me strange but, I think people tend to look more like their moms.


If you look at the majority of 1/2 white 1/2 Asian people, The ones with Asian last names look white and the ones with European names look Asian.

Just from my experience in encountering other mixed ppl.


Tho, a mixed dude who looks asian and has an asian last name will probably just be considered asian so the topic might never come up.

[Mr T]

Sometimes I wished I looked 'white' so I can in effect get to date *h-h-h-o-o-o-o-t-t-t-t* Asian females :lol: (j/k) I don't know, being a very looking Asian male sure puts off alot of Asian females that I've come across.

[BeTheReds]

Originally posted by Mr T@Nov 15 2002, 05:18 PM
Sometimes I wished I looked 'white' so I can in effect get to date *h-h-h-o-o-o-o-t-t-t-t* Asian females :lol: (j/k) I don't know, being a very looking Asian male sure puts off alot of Asian females that I've come across.
Where do you live?

[Mr T]

Why you asking?

[BeTheReds]

Because in my area of the USA the reverse is true, well for most of the girls I'd wanna date anyway.

[scott]

Wow, I am really impressed with the hapa forum here. I can't seem to resist it.

I have been told I look everything but Asian it seems. But people who have seen a lot of hapas have told me they "could tell" I was mixed. My pseudo-cousins in Corea insist I look like Keanu Reeves (which I don't), but every hapa looks like Keanu to them.

I am always incredibly hapa ... er, happy when someone says they can see my "Asian" side, especially if I did not bring it up. I always want to thank them. Although I realize for hapa-women or hapas who look "more Asian" they may often feel the opposite or annoyed at that kind of attention.

But I get the same kind of looks from full-Asian guys often, when I am with my wife, as if I am "stealing their women" again. I get the same kind of vibe from a couple of my in-laws too, or at the Corean church ("Why do YOU want to learn Corean language?"), or even online of course.

It was never an issue until I realized I wanted to regain my otherwise non-existent Corean heritage about ten years ago. Even after this much time, sometimes those rejections make me re-evaluate who I am or why I even bother with the Corean side.

[BeTheReds]

Yea I can relate with you there, especially on getting looks from Koreans or Asians for being with an Asian girl.

Don't sweat it tho.

I also am very delighted when people figure out that I am mixed, tho sometimes I admit i'd give them a million hints.

It makes me even more happy when a younger korean guy calls me hyung.

[scott]

Yeah, I really dig it when I am called hyung or oppa. It means real acceptance, and it makes me want to take care of and protect those people with all of my heart.

I also feel that I can use my "white"-ness to an advantage though, to help my Corean brothers.

I mean it's one thing to be 100% Asian and rant about injustices to Asians in America or their image in the media (I don't want to start a rant here though), but when Caucasians see it coming from someone that looks white, I think they register it differently. Maybe with less of the knee-jerk "another whiny Asian" response.

Same goes for my art, on the rare occasions I've drawn an Asian man, the reaction from most people is "why'd you draw him, he doesn't even look like you." My answer is "That's the point. He looks like my friends, and cousins, and brothers."

[BeTheReds]

I don't necesarily feel anything special when I get called oppa, because girls do that if they like you. They even call some white dudes oppa, and throw the term around like it means nothing.

I'm gonna go protest the ruling in the military trial after work today and I wonder if anyone will think it's strange that I have a taegukki and stuff.